You want advice, not advise

Need some advice on an old friendship -- [2008-11-16]
I got divorced 7 years ago. Started out as a friendly divorce and then I started dating a man that my ex did not like (because he is black) and we quit speaking at all. Then, one of my very good friends started backing off from the friendship andI thought it was because I was openly dating a black man. Well, 4 months later, I heard that she was dating my exhusband. I called her and asked her about it and of course she denied it, could not believe I accused her of that, she would never do that to me..... on and onand on. To make a long story short, of course 2 months later I found out it was true, they had bee seeing each other for about 6 or 7 months. Anyway, during that time period after I knew that they were together but before they broke up, I would call her occasionally if I needed information on my son (who lived with his dad and would not speak to me at that time becaue of brainwashing) and we stayed friendly on the phone, felt like old times, etc. Then they broke up and now occasionally I get the urge to call her or she will call me for something, and it is like nothing ever happened. We laugh and cut up and it I have some thoughts though about when it really started, before we were even divorcing or during the divorce, and then sometimes I get really mad because she lied to me in the first place and let me keep trying to have a friendship, and then sometimes I miss her and think it does not matter because we were divorced and he was free and I definitely did not want him back. My problem is what to do? Forgive her and forget her... forgive her and be friends again... ask her the questions I need answers to and then decide whether to be friends??? And the other big problem is my new husband gets very upset every time I even speak to her because she did thatto me when she was my friend and he says you never go behind friends to their love interests. Advice please....

I need some advice [2008-11-15]
Ok this is the story: My husband is still friends with his first girlfriends family. This does not bother me. She did a couple of things to really disgrace her family when she was dating him but after a period of time he still kept in touch with them as we live in a very small community. When we met and got engaged they were all very kind to me and the mother even did the cake and flowers for our wedding. The ex is never around much so no big deal. Well this past weekend her great grandmother passed. My husband had known this woman for sometime and the mother asked him to come to the funeral and told me I was not to feel like I shouldnI. To which the ex rolled her eyes and looked at her HUSBAND. So we walked away. To tell you the truth, we didn't really care. Well we get a phone call about an hour ago from the exum we aren Well, knowing how immature the ex and her husband are, we knew they were behind this (plus we could hear them in the background). So my husband told the boy Look, it Well a few minutes later he gets a text message from the brother saying my mom can (which obviously is not true since we saw her Wednesday night and Thursday afternoon and she was obviously not mental). So my husband sent back a message saying Look, whatever issues your sister has with me and your mom having an ADULT friendship, she needs to take those up with your mom, but quit trying to start drama. Well a few minutes later the phone rings. My husband handed me the phone. Knowing how mad he was at the moment, I answered. It was the ex. She asked if she could talk to him, and I said No. This needs to stop right now, it She said well my mom is really going crazy and she can. She went on for about five minutes and I said fine, we won I'm just so angry right now! I mean this is high school drama! What would you do? I know the mom will be absolutely heartbroken if my husband and I just stop coming to see her and talking to her (since her lovely daughter never comes home). I mean except for the funeral, we never go around if she is going to be there, and we don't sit there and talk bad about her or anything. I honestly think she knows she screwed up by messing around on him SIX YEARS AGO and is just upset that he's married and happy and it sounds like her husband is a jerk.

Any advice for lice? - sm [2008-10-30]
My kids came home with this almost 2 months ago, got rid of them (I think---all 4 of us had them and 3 of us are clean now), but 2 weeks ago my older daughter had a new outbreak.I have treated 3-4 x with Rid and Nix (Nix the second time around per doctor), olive oil, and listerine/vinegar. Called the doctor again last night begging for the prescription (they don My daugher Now the doctor wants me to try 50:50 of mineral oil and vinegar.Icould not do it lastnight as I had already had her wash her hair after I found the 2 lice (did Nix again last night).I am so sick of these things. I have washed, and washed, and washed, vacuumed, etc. until I never want to wash or vacuum another thing in my life. My kids stuffed animals, etc. have been bagged up in the garage now for 8 weeks.....never undid them luckily....so at least I had a little less to do this time. ----the other thing that tics me off is the girl next to my daugher on the bus has them too, probably from mine but who knows, and the policy is that the child has to contain their hair for a week or two until the nurse declares her clean. This girl is not pulling her hair back in a ponytail because she does not like them. I complained to the nurse once, and am doing so again today. So that probably is not going to change soI had the bus driver move my daughter today from that seat....they sit 3 to a seat and they are mashed together, hence easy transfer of a bug crawling from one head to another.My daughter was not happy about it, but this other girls mother is convince they are cured asshe put listerine on her daughter If one time fixed it then lice would notbe such a problem. I really think this lady is in LA la land considering the trouble I am having, and I have combed, and combed too, so I am not doing the half-assssseeedddd either. So does anyone have anything that they swear by? I know I could make my kid go to bed with mayo on her head for 10 days straight and that would in theory eradicate them, or any smothering agent, and it may come to that, but if anyone has anything else, please feel freeto tell!

My only advice is [2008-10-29]
Go to the store (Staples or Office Depot or wherever) and try them out. Even some of the expensive ones are surprisingly UNcomfortable. Also, don't expect one to last forever. We spend way too much time sitting at our desks for that.

Homeschoolers - advice please! [2008-10-21]
I am considering homeschooling my son. What are your pros and cons of homeschooling. Please also include how it affects your life and work. Are you more relaxed at your household because no pressure to get off to school, all homework done? I have talked to a few friends and would like some objective viewpoints. Thanks :)

I need advice. I think my16y son is smoking weed... [2008-10-17]
He downloaded some pictures on MY computer for his MySpace page. Anyway, there isa picture of a bag of weed(I was young once, I know what it looks like so he cant try to convince me it was oregano) and a picture of his friend holding the bag of weed.By the way, the bag was on my table so hecaneither. I really don A long time ago I found a pipe in his room. I honestly thought it was over with after that. (guess I can be niave). Between his dad, my husband and I we dealt with it in a mature and appropriate way.But I always stayed cautious after that so I was always watching. I hadn Haven Anyways, my problem is what to do now. I really do not want to tell his dad because hewill be soooo angry. See, dad was really p**sed the first time and told my son that if he ever finds out he I know that sounds harsh, but I know his dad, he will kick him out but only for a little while just to make him think.Tough Love, he calls it. I think he may have even threatened him with a beatin (That is just a scare tactic. He I thought that by me telling his dad the first time he'd know that I was serious and that he wouldn't be able to get away with it with me. See, my problem is that my son idolizes his dad. He I can almost feel his pain already.I feel like heI He knows it too. I hate it and I I know some of you are thinking well he should But remember when we were 16. We didnThat So I have understanding, I just can't let that interfere with tolerance. So what do I do? I haven I know one thing I have to do is forbid him from hanging out with this friend anymore. Which is another issue....Do I tell this boy A part of me wants doesnHeIt Oh, and I haven Heanything my son likes.He wouldnHe tends to overdo the punishments. Then there What if he sneaks out? What if he tries to be....what's the word???...um, like just rebel and walk out anyway or worse, what if he runs away? I know what a lot of you are probably thinking right now. I KNOW I I KNOW III hate it. I I really cannot help it. However, this is a very serious issue to me and I want to find the right thing to do. I doneither (but he doesnYet I don He has to learn. This is not acceptable. Not even to me. If I let it go who knows what the future will hold for him. So any reasonable suggestions out there that a doormat like myself can put to use? I really appreciate any help. I

My first advice would be [2008-10-16]
Take the dog to the pound. I'm not saying that to be cruel but even if you yourself can get the dog looking better chances are they cannot afford to keep it that way. If that is not an option then go to Wal-Mart and get flea shampoo/spray, some Sulfodene (for the itching) and some ear wax/mite remover. Some vitamins might not hurt either.

Thanks for the kind words and advice - sm [2008-10-15]
I think I will look into CCCS. A friend of mine used them 8 or so years ago, though she did not have to pay a monthly fee (asked her about this yesterday), but things are probably different now especially with so many people using them now. Luckily my DH is not on any of my cc accounts, though I am on one of his as a user, but that one will be paid off in full in about a month or less, once we get the money from the loan. We woke up yesterday to finding out my daughter had lice again so I think that distraction is actually helping things, he stayed home with her while I had to go out, had a school committment I could not get out of, and re-treated her (after I had already done Rid, he did olive oil as he could still see critters). So he got a taste of what I did 5 weeks earlier. So I was glad, kind of afraid to leave him home alone in case he ended up getting really depressed and doing something to hurt himself. Obviously he is not happy as a lark or anything but at least he is talking to me. Got the loan paperwork all filled out and mailing in today. Once his are taken care of he will be a bit more happy, though not about the loan, but it is really the only way as we don't want to do a home equity loan/line, and that would be a worse thing to do financially. Yes, I do feel a lot better though at his expense. At least he got up and went to work today, so that was good.

Some advice from experience [2008-10-15]
If you dongood daughter, all my other siblings quit speaking to my father years ago, I should have joined them! Good luck.

Any advice and/or experience with teeth whitening? [2008-10-11]
NM

need advice on what i can freeze [2008-10-10]
ie, casseroles, for a family (mom having cancer surgery) that freezes well. (i know beef does, but ) does tuna freeze well, ie tuna noodle casserole? Does green bean casserole w/soup do well? Would it matter if the beans were previously frozen? thanks.

Great advice - thanks for sharing! [2008-10-06]

TY for replies/advice - see "wait a minute" below for [2008-10-01]
update. I plan on talking to principal and teacher today and go from there.

Advice needed - school incident [2008-09-30]
Okay,I will try to make this short. We send our son to Catholic school. We are Catholic but we also love the atmosphere, i.e. safe and a good community environment. He is in second grade. When I pick him up today, he tells me this classmate girl has stabbed him in the arm with her pencil! He had to have an ice pack on it for an hour and it still hurts him. She poked thru his shirt and now it She has a short fuse and apparently was mad that he was invading her space. They have 4 stations at one table, soitcould be difficult for achild to discernwhere onespace ends and another begins. I am pi**ed off about this. 1. The school didnthey did the other mother. 2. The girl's mother (whom I know) hasn't called me about it. 3. I spoke with the principal briefly because his teacher had left by the time I got there, but he is going to talk to the girl and my son about it tomorrow and about personal space. She was in his office for an hour until dismissal today. I know if it was my kid, I would be calling that mother right up and apologizing. I amso ticked off right now about it thatIam worried if I do call, I will lose mycool. The other thing is this:We have always taught our son to respect others and treat others how you would want to be treated. He has a good moral compass. He is also a big and tough kid.We have always taught himto neverhurt others unless itdefense. I feel as if they are brushing this off because he is a boy. I think if the shoe was on the other foot and he did it to her, it would be bad news. All hubby and I know is that we don How do we get our point across? SHould I call the mom and tell her that? My son told me this is not the first time she has done this (poking with the pencil) but it is the first time it hurt like this. She could have gotten him in the eye or hurt someone else altogether! I don The school doesn I am so mad right now I could spit.

Need advice on [2008-09-24]
My husband interviewed for a job with the state last week on Tuesday. They said they should know in about a week. This is a huge move for us, because if he gets the job we have to move, so the sooner we know, the better. since today is Wednesday, should he try to call and inquire? Or should he just wait? We are really hoping for this so of course we are very anxious, but I don't know if he would seem overly anxious by calling? He had tried to call the interviewer last week because he had to ask him a question or two (he had applied for a lower position here where we live and wanted to know if turning it down would affect him there, you know how the state is!) and left a message with his secretary. The guy never called him back, but his secretary sounds like a bit of a ditz. Anyways, what do you think? This interview is not his first but it's his first time trying to go for a career position, so we are really nervous and excited! (We just graduated college btw)

Very good advice. I stayed for the sake SM [2008-09-11]
of my daughter, until she finished high school. I don't regret it and I'm very happy now, but I'm older. Women today tend to end things and I honestly don't think that is especially bad.

Thank you for the advice and N/T [2008-09-10]
She took 9th grade science and did very well. I'm not sure why they didn't let her take 10th grade science and jumped all the way to 12th. I'm leaning towards letting her drop the class, but then I was told by my neighbor that once they're in accelerated classes, she was told that it's almost impossible to get out. She told her father that she was having a meeting with the teacher today. As for N/T, it won't be on again until January!! I have the seasons on DVD so I can get me some Julian anytime I want. LOL.

Need advice again - Dementia (sm) [2008-09-02]
Hi all. I just want to start off by saying that whenever I post on here I always get kind responses, and I may not always get a chance to say thank you. Wanted to let you know that I do appreciate it. Here is my latest challenge. I have an uncle who is in his early 70 I grew up watching my grandmother, his mother, go through the stages of this horrid disease. I have a pretty good grasp of what we are up against. Thing is, I was a child when my grandmother started her decline, and boy things are different when you are an adult. I honestly don Here is what complicates the situation. My uncle is divorced, has been for some time. He has no children. He has three sisters, my aunts, living. One is in her 80s, one is two hours away and not in great health, and the third is 12 hours away. The oldest cannot help, given her age, the one that is two hours away has told me that she really doesn It gets a little more complicated. My uncle is a hoarder. He also has been notoriously bad about managing his finances for many years. His house is in a very bad state of disrepair. He is at the stage where he really needs someone to look over him, not live with him but maybe go in once or twice a week and help him with bills, meds, etc. However, his house is so bad that I truly fear it is going to fall down around him. My questions: I know that he needs help, but I also know that he has to ask for that help (up to a certain point, which would be where we would then go to court and ask for a conservatorship). He is not at that stage yet. If something happens to him, no one has legal medical proxy, he does not have a will, he does not have an advanced directive. We have talked to him about the importance of doing this, but he does not want to listen, even though he admits he needs to do something. He also has not been formally diagnosed. I think he is afraid to get confirmation that he is suffering from the same disease as his mother. How do we help him? What should we do? What is the procedure here? I honestly am at my wit I donand have him thinking that we are wanting anything. I don It is his. But something has to be done. I want him to be taken care of when the time comes. Any advice would be appreciated, as always. Thank you. HC

Time for a new car - need advice [2008-08-29]
My 2001 car is on its last legs so I have narrowed my search to a new Honda. I don't normally buy new but this is reasonably priced (Honda Fit). My question is . . . are the sticker prices on new cars negotiable? I have never bought a car brand new before and have no clue!

thanks for the advise, you say some very smart things - sm [2008-08-24]
though I am really not sure about the in person thing. I am serious about trying not to be killed in this, he has threatened to kill me before over some really stupid stuff (and we have a lot of guns in this house), and as this is a major thing, and he has been through this with me before....just before we married I was $12K in the hole. I paid it all off though within weeks of the wedding and we were debt-free for about 7 years (except for mortgage). He has told me before if he ever kills me, he will kill himself too....not that this is any solace to me as I really want to live. Generally he is full of hot air, but you never know what will send a person over the edge and I think this debt may be what does it for him. There are a number of extenuating circumstances that caused the debt, it was not me alone of course. He likes to spend as he pleases and I do try to stop him as much as I can but sometimes it is not possible (unless I drop the bomb of course), family illnesses, we did private school for a while too which did not help, and just got a new used car....which we owe his parent $10K for which I am paying them $500 a month for as well which is really putting a crimp on things...but he insisted we had to get rid of my reliable truck for better gas mileage....the new car has needed $800 in repairs so far in 4 months which is just wonderful. When I do drop the bomb, probably in the next month or so, I may try to farm the kids out to friends houses then give him a letter with all the dirty details and the possible solutions. I think having it all down in writing will help some. I know there will be tears on both sides, and my stress level will plummet once it is off my chest. I notice my skin problems act up when we are short on cash, then clear when we get a paycheck. I am sure my BP is jumping about and I cannot lose weight no matter how hard I try too, though I think that is a mechanism to keep him away from me as much as possible. Needless to say it is a total mess.

some advice about animal abuse [2008-08-20]
turn him in as soon as possible. People like that do not deserve animals. Someone ought kick him once in awhile. Call the Animal Protection Society in your area immediately. I can't stand people who abuse animals and someone who knows this is being done and not doing anything about it is just as bad

Need some advice about possible animal abuse sm (this is long) [2008-08-19]
my son rode school bus home with afriend to the friendhouse last friday (i had never been to their house, but his friend has been here once and i these people some like really nice people, very religious. i went to pick up my son friday evening and was a little shocked. had a weird vibe about the dad right off the bat. i dontheir house was ok, but i felt dirty when i left. he has a couple of dogs, one he says he doesn seems very lovable) and another dog that has puppies and he bragged listened to him very well. when i was getting ready to leave, this momma dog comes around to the front and seemed extremely scared, especially when he was by her. he was trying to show me how good his dog listened to him. but she was putting her head down, slouching down like he it made me feel so uncomfortable. i so the next day my son goes back for a b-day party. on the way to their house, my son tells me that the dad kicked the momma dog because she was eating the cat (the cat is really skinny too). when i got to the house i was able to get a better look at this dog because it was daylight and the poor thing looks so unhappy and her rear end area looks like her hair is coming off, i don i just felt so helpless for this dog. i called my vet office and asked them who can i call if i suspect animal abuse (we don i but the look on the dog oh, another thing, when i was leaving there friday evening i said something about keeping the kittens (yes, they have kittens too) away so i don so my question is do i get a hold of the police and tell them this???? i just want the dogs taken away. i want to be anonymous. i don the dad told me that this is the third litter of puppies for this momma dog since last november, and if he finds out who the daddy is ........ well i thought to myself, why don i was furious! i thought about writing a letter to the police station. what do you all think? thanks

Great advice. [2008-08-05]
I actually have told him that when he grows up and he gets a dog and hurts it, I will be the one to call the police because it is against the law. A friend of mine drove her three boys to the police station just yesterday and took all of them in, they were all acting up and out of control. She is a single mom. She asked them if she could spank her kids and told the officer what they were doing. He said YES! Bring Maybe a trip to the police station is enough to scare him out of doing it. Thank you for the advice about taking things away and such. I do believe I will try that fora while and if it doesn't work then to the police station and then on to counseling or something.

Not too much advice, but... [2008-07-22]
you need to find a psychologist who is on YOUR side...cut the being nice route, she obviously needs straight, to the point, no BS handling. Trust me, I was there once...being nice will only get you treated more like a door mat. YOU are the parent..that being said, if she goes, she goes; ifshe gets into trouble don't bail her out, let her have it a bit rough for a while. In a couple of years she isn't your responsibility any longer. Hope all works out for you.

This poster has wonderful advice and I second it!! nm [2008-07-22]
nn

Don't use your debit cards [2008-11-19]
I had a problem with fraud on my account through them. Surely they have fixed it by now, as this was last year and the year before (yes 2 separate occurrences, both at xmas time). So I would not suggest using any cards there but cash only. I do agree that it seems to be a great idea for teens. Their prices are great and our location has always been helpful with advise, returns, etc. Another good idea I have found for teenagers is a gift card for restaurants or gas stations. It helps their parents a bit and if they have a girlfriend/boyfriend places like AppleBees or Red Lobster are nice so that they can go on a nice date and not have to worry about $30 for the bill. Even with a part-time job that's a lot of money for a teenager! :) My nephew actually requests it.

Need some advice on an old friendship -- [2008-11-16]
I got divorced 7 years ago. Started out as a friendly divorce and then I started dating a man that my ex did not like (because he is black) and we quit speaking at all. Then, one of my very good friends started backing off from the friendship andI thought it was because I was openly dating a black man. Well, 4 months later, I heard that she was dating my exhusband. I called her and asked her about it and of course she denied it, could not believe I accused her of that, she would never do that to me..... on and onand on. To make a long story short, of course 2 months later I found out it was true, they had bee seeing each other for about 6 or 7 months. Anyway, during that time period after I knew that they were together but before they broke up, I would call her occasionally if I needed information on my son (who lived with his dad and would not speak to me at that time becaue of brainwashing) and we stayed friendly on the phone, felt like old times, etc. Then they broke up and now occasionally I get the urge to call her or she will call me for something, and it is like nothing ever happened. We laugh and cut up and it I have some thoughts though about when it really started, before we were even divorcing or during the divorce, and then sometimes I get really mad because she lied to me in the first place and let me keep trying to have a friendship, and then sometimes I miss her and think it does not matter because we were divorced and he was free and I definitely did not want him back. My problem is what to do? Forgive her and forget her... forgive her and be friends again... ask her the questions I need answers to and then decide whether to be friends??? And the other big problem is my new husband gets very upset every time I even speak to her because she did thatto me when she was my friend and he says you never go behind friends to their love interests. Advice please....

American Girl Doll things [2008-11-16]
I posted this before and a very kind MT responded with American Girl dolls for sale for Christmas. I am still searching for Samantha, Kitand Nellie and I am also looking for extra American Girl outfits. Any suggestionswhere elseto look? I have watched Craig If any MT would like to sell American Girl doll things, please let me know. You can reach me by e-mail through this site. Thanks for any offers or adviceon getting second-hand AG dolls for Christmas gifts.

Please...I need someone to talk to...sm [2008-11-13]
Okay, its pity party time. I may need to get a professionalfree therapy. I am feeling really, really guilty about not seeing my dad as much as I should. So, heredad just up and leaves sort of way. He got a job in another city about 5 hours away. I remember we were all really excited about it as it was a really good career move for him. Mom didnagreement was that he would come home on the weekends and see us (right). So this turned into seeing him every month, to every couple of months, to about twice a year (thanksgiving and Christmas). Him and mom are still married (don't know how she does it) but I feel such resentment toward him that it is hard for me to go see him. We only live about 15 minutes away from my parents and are in their town a lot to see my husband's family. However, I choose not to go see my father because it is awkward and weird and it stresses me out to the max. I get to see mom about 3 times a week as we work together (both as transcriptionists) at our local hospital. I love spending time with her, but not with my dad around. I know I'm hurting his feelings when I don't see him but on his birthday, father's day, holidays, etc. He doesn't drink THAT much anymore, a beer or two a day (we think), but it still bothers the heck out of me when I see him drinking. Although it is better than mom and I trying to get him to bed while he is falling down drunk or driving away, getting a DUII, etc. I would never tell him how I feel because I love him and wouldn't hurt him like that. He isn't very healthy (hep C, high BP, neuropathy, etc) and I don't think he'll be around for that much longer. NEway..getting off track...I just need some advice and/or to hear someone else's stories about something like this. I don't know what to do and it is really getting to me. It does feel better to be able to talk to someone about it though (husband doesn't understand and talking to mom about it just makes her feel bad). Thanks ladies for all of your support!!!

We have grown children and paid up condo. SM [2008-11-13]
I think about advice I would give others. Getting any part-time job I could, delivering papers, selling Avon (people still buy Avon), renting room out in house. If elderly people near you, offer transportation or shopping service. One thing is, no matter what, no one should just sit around waiting for another job, be they male or female.

I went through this with my mom. [2008-11-09]
She had a series of small strokes that became progressively more debilitating. My kids and I took care of her at home during the last 2 years of her life, but a couple of times she had to be taken to the hospital and then transferred to a nursing home for several months afterwards. One of the facilities was great, but the second one wasn't. I advise anyone contemplating placing their parent in one to research each facility thoroughly. Sometimes this is really the best choice for everyone involved, and the bottom line is that you want your mother to be safe. Good luck to you.

I actually think [2008-11-08]
if you look up advice yourself and you don I recently decided to take control and just hunker down, not buy, get on a strict budget, pay my bills in a timely manner after I reviewed some articles online.Seems ya can You are told tokeep an eye on yourcredit score and then seem to be penalized for simply requesting the information. You can certainly buid any negatives up and if you check your report and find something is not accurate, use the time to correct it and have it removed/updated. Good luck. Doneconomy but I do think we all need to be more careful and cautious right now.

Could someone help with posting a pic, please [2008-11-08]
Every time I have tried to do this by clicking on a javascript error occurs, with javascript:void(0); in the bar at the bottom of my screen. I thought I had uploaded a pic withno problems here before, but cannot seem to do it today. I finally was able to get my son to take a couple of pictures of my recliner with footpedal setup and was all geared up to post them TIA for any advice/assistance!

Soooo....I'm getting braces...please sm [2008-11-07]
Does anyone have any advice for taking care of braces that the dentist doesn't tell you? What to expect while getting them on, how to take care of them afterward, etc. I've never had to deal with braces before...no kids. And I'm not sure what to expect. Any tips would be greatly appreciated!!! Thanks

All these people are coming for thanksgiving... [2008-11-07]
My house is a cluttered mess. I just don I mean, I guess I do...I What I thought would be fun is giving me heart palpitations. Any advice?

Anyone bake & decorate cakes a lot? Can you give me some tips? sm [2008-11-06]
I am working on a 12 inch round extradeep cake and another deep 8 inch top layer. Does anyone have advice on making sure deep layer cakes cook evenly? Does anyone have any tips on decorating with fondant?Particularly getting things likelong stripes tostay fairly solid when placing, and how to get fondant roses to keep their shape.I'd really appreciate it - thanks!

I too get the opposite [2008-11-04]
Lots of people call me or ask me for medical advice. I don't like it because, although I am familiar with most medicines, disease, etc., I am by far a doctor and hate to diagnose someone's illness. I do however like to make an educated guess as to that I think it is, but that's as far as it goes...

Who would be the best to ask [2008-11-03]
advice about money.I just received my credit score and it is less than 700. However, I paid $6 and received 1 credit score and read at another place I should have 3 after I did this. It did tell me why my score was so low, one was that I don I just paid off my mortgage and I thought that was a good thing. According that that, it is not. I thought maybe I should take out another mortgage against my house. I have a 10K cc bill that is at 28% and thought if I barrowed against my house, I would probably get a lower % and maybe that would help?? but.......another reason it saidwas that I had too many recent inquiries about my credit report. Well, if I borrowed against my house, thenanothercreditor would probably have to look up my report. Another one was that I was 30 days late paying on something too recently and that I had opened and closed an account in too short of a period of time in 2005. Anyway, my 401K guy is always full of good advice and so is HNeither menever seem to want payment for their good advice as of yet anyway. I just wondered if these are the people I should ask OR is there something better out there. Another problem we are faceing is that our checking account seems to always go under at least 1 a month. Everything is such a mess, I am trying to get it all straightened out. I don

thank you so much..i am planning to ask the mgr for new apt...sm [2008-11-01]
I have lived in apartments all my live and have never experienced anything as noxious as this lady Thank you all so much for your comments, since my DH does not care to exert himself, it is all on me, and so I will ask for another apt. It If that doesn Thanks again. I sincerely appreciate your great advice.

I have a feeling there are lots of us out here - sm [2008-10-24]
I have to say I think I may have it better than most. I've been working home almost twenty years and now both kids, 17 and 19, are on the brink of leaving, probably next year. My husband started his own business working at home four years ago, and we're literally (almost) joined at the hip. We share a 10 x 10 office. Yet, we almost never talk. When we do it's business or kid related. Right now I'm making more money than he is, and his business hasn't grown as fast as he had hoped, and now with the economy . . We started bickering about everything and about once a month have a big blow-up. I went to see a marriage counselor starting a year ago - he absolutely, positively will not go! So I'm going, mostly to find a way to survive another year or two until the kids are gone. I believe it will go one way or the other after that. I hope we stay together. We've both been divorced before and I wouldn't wish that on anybody. And I know the man I married is still in there somewhere. I'm going to do all I can to find him again so we can share the good stuff that we've worked so hard for - not to mention grandchildren when the time comes! Good luck to you. I've got no advice for you, but you are definitely NOT alone!

For your future and that of your kids [2008-10-24]
You may not think so, but you've got a lot of things going for you, the most important being that you realize you need to do something. Short term: You've gotten great advice about making small changes, like exercising, losing weight, etc. Go for it. Long term: YouThe journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step? Take that step and you will be surprised what you can do.

by the way.... [2008-10-23]
any other advice for a new MT trying to get started?

Need a Job! [2008-10-21]
I Now that the kids are grown, I I got a Medical Secretarial Associates degree right out of high school and worked as a MT for a large hospital in the Pathology Department full time for five years. This summer I took an on-line medical terminology course as a refresher.I Do I need more education? More time? More patience? Does anyone have any advice for me?

buy generic [2008-10-21]
I buy generic. Will try anything once and if it is too nasty, not use it again. I now buy generic laundry soap (who can afford to pay $12 for a bottle of Tide or Cheer?), generic soups for cooking. I have found some things actually taste better than name brand. I used to only buy ground sirloin for hamburgers...that has stopped. My only advice...do not buy generic toilet paper. It is useless!!

Thanks guys. I talked to him last night and..... [2008-10-18]
he told me that the pictures weren He says he is too afraid of his dad. We live in a small town where everybody knows everybody and their business so he's afraid it would get back to his dad somehow. In some ways I believe him because, like I said, he doesn But in other ways I It What if I tell him I don't believe him and he really is telling the truth? Shoot! I have to go,,, I'll finish later. Thanks again for your advice.

If you don't "go overboard" [2008-10-17]
you may be burying your child. He is being totally selfish and irresponsible, like most teenagers, and needs to be shown that is wrong. You need to let his father or your husband handle this. He needs to deal with someone he knows is serious and will not back down. You don't need to protect him from punishments, you need to protect him from himself. Honestly, I know you love him, but if you don't have the backbone for something this serious then let someone who does deal with it. Will he say horrible things to you, you bet. Will he mean them, at the time sure. Do you want him alive and not in jail in 10 years to apologize, I bet you do. I took the door off my daughters bedroom, I did daily searches. She had nothing that was sacred and no privacy because she had lost that right in my home. She was not allowed on the internet for the last 3 years she lived here. Things like that are not a God given right as these kids would like to think. But it IS my God given right/responsibility to try to teach them right from wrong, to have rules and to enforce them and to keep them safe from themselves if need be. I know you love your son, but if you really love him then you need to be willing to step away if that is what is best for him. To many teenagers these days don't take responsibility for their actions and to many adults do not hold them accountable in fear of hurting their feelings. Ask yourself what kind of adult you want him to be. Who is going to teach him to be that adult? Stand up and fight momma, that's your responsibility as his parent. And guess what, my daughter is on her own and in college now, and I'm the first one she comes to for advice!

I posted back in late August about cc debt - sm [2008-10-14]
in response to someone else giving advice on what to do. I told you about how I had a ton of debt my DH knew nothing about, how I was afraid of him, etc. and that I just did not know how to tell him.I consulted a lawyer and got some insight and advise in case things went really bad whenIdid tell him.Well I finally bit the bullet and told him on Monday. He was off from work, kids were in school, I wrote a 4 page letter laying it all out. I went out in the LR and I asked him if he loved me and was happy in our marriage, I got yes Then I handed him the note (bawling at this point) and said I was going out for a little while and we would talk when I came back. He called me 10 minutes later, upset yes, but not nuts as I expected. We ended up talking for 2 hours. He was quite good about it which really surprised me, he was in shock though. Later last night after he got drunk not horribly so but enough, though he did not turn nasty. I hadasked him not to drink but he ignored that, so as a result he broke down said a few things which I probably deserved, though he does not believe I was scared of him....denied ever threatening to kill me, said if he did he was kidding and it was his sick sense of humor. I told him I take all death threats seriously. But comes down to he does not want to divorce over it, for which I am happy and grateful, and I think this will ultimately help us. We are taking a 401K loan for the debt on his cards, and I will go to a credit consolidator for the debt on my cards......any recommendations on that front? My credit is in the dump so this is not going to make it much worse. In five years we will be free and clear, paid off debt and house at that point. I have a huge breach of trust to heal and don So he learned whata conniving wife he has and I learned that I had what I wanted all along, just didn We still have a lot to work out, and I am in for 5 or more years of snide backbiting remarks at times I am sure, but I think there is hope for us actually.

My children lost their father when they were 8,4,3 [2008-10-13]
It is a very tough position to be put in as a parent. My advice for the adults is do not drag these children into what should be adult grief. Several members of my kids' father's family tried to do this to them. They are children and are resilient just the way God made them and thankfully for them! They have a right to live happily and without guilt because they are happy. I'm not saying your family will do this, but on top of everything else, it was hard to watch this being done to my children. I am very sorry for their loss and the loss to your family.

I'm kinda in the same boat [2008-10-11]
My 30+ year old stepson is supposed to be moving out today. Believe me, it won He is the filthist person I have ever met and for his age is VERY naive and gullable.Won He It He totally disregards any advice or help my husband gives him and listens to his loser friends. If my husband lets him move back in.........thatsince he hasthe money to keep supporting hisADULT(and I say that loosely) children! Good riddins

How often is she at your home?...sm [2008-10-10]
Maybe if you could just try to hang in there for the time she is there. How is it when she is not there? Do you guys get along, does he spend time with you? It sounds like she is a spoiled brat. You have obviously done the right thing letting him know how you feel but why donshe. That is disrespectful to you. You have a name. I don't have this problem. Don't have any stepchildren. The only advice I can give is give them all the time they want. Ignore them if that is the way he wants to play it. If he says something about you ignoring them or not being socialable say oh I thought that is what you wanted since you don't include me in anything. I would just do my own thing and let him do his with the little darling.