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Several things [2008-07-01]
Ectopic pregnancies are possible in this situation--the babies can grow on an organ. However, this creates a very high-risk situation. Babies have been carried to term this way.
In this case, though, if she has been 13 years without a period, I would wonder about a tumor, especially if she found out about her pregnancy with a home pregnancy test. HCG (what the home pregnancy test measures) can be produced by tumors, which also may correlate with a growing abdomen, giving one the false idea she is pregnant.
How did she determine she was pregnant with twins?
I think it is a combination of things. [2008-07-01]
For one, parents don Secondly, some people just aren Thirdly, people are just lazy.
I have told my husband that he needs to teach my stepson something useful that he can use later in life like wiring something, building something, etc. My husband is smart enough that he pretty much does everything around here. In fact, he is currently putting up a fence for our horses. To pay to have that done would have cost us 3K more than him doing it himself. Needless to say, we opted to do it ourselves.
I truly hope that he doesn At 14, kids don You start them young and they think it is fun.
naturally, it works for many things - NM [2008-06-18]
nm
Except that with what things will cost, on an MT's wages, - sm [2008-06-18]
we won't be able to afford to buy ANYTHING at the market, even if we could get there.
Meanwhile, the US is working on sending men to Mars while our whole infrastructure is crumbling. Sure hope the economy is better up there.
My grandparents swore by it for LOTS of things [2008-06-10]
xx
I worked with a lady who [2008-06-06]
had the same problem, she always had her hair cut short, but the top was poofy and you could read print through it. She finally got extensions and you would never know, but this seems like high maintenance. She is in administration and has to look her best at all times. (me, my clothes are wash and wear and so am I).
There are things to be said for being an IC - sm [2008-05-28]
Yeah, I know therespecial one on one time with my husband while the kids were in school. Then, come vacation or sick days from school I can tailor my schedule to fit without having to ask anyone permission. Love it!
Oh, yes - I do get Mom, can I just check something quick on the computer?, etc., and have to be firm about the boundaries that I do set because you're right - They never do completely get it!
couple things [2008-05-26]
maybe get a prepaid? i did that when i first got a cell and would buy the minimal minutes and they would last for like three months, but had to purchase more minutes before the time ran out or the number would change and the minutes would run out. when i purchased more minutes, the other minutes were added to the the ones i bought.. hope that made sense.
also, i have heard that you can have a phone and not have any service, yet still be able to dial 911 and get through.
Glad Ryan didn't bust his bootie on that remote control (nm) [2008-05-22]
x
Things not to say to people!! Ultrasound tech said (sm) [2008-05-21]
After doing my ultrasound for an ovarian cyst she says as I am getting up, are you still having your cycles? Thanks. I'm 40.
Thank you T...My DH worked his way... [2008-05-13]
up to six figures (yes, the low end). You are right when you say some people think that is a lot of money when sometimes it is just enough to get by on for some people. We are fortunate and have made it a point to be debt free. We will not be a slave to the lender, working only to make payments on meaningless things. There is no reason for the catty remarks and jealousy. Some women are just bitter about life, and if that is the case figure out how to make it better. Life is too short to be unhappy.
glad you got yours on time but [2008-05-08]
that has not been the case for everyone. Friends with last digits of 10 that used direct deposit have not recieved theirs and another only got 600 and not the 300 for her child. It can be very frustrating for those who are not getting the stimulus according to the information posted on their website.
I'm glad you reminded me of Proactive. I'll never buy that again, either. [2008-05-07]
It did absolutely nothing for my son's acne. The only thing that actually did help was a very good dermatologist, and she had nothing nice to say about Proactiv. It's overpriced and just doesn't work for most people who use it.
i'm glad things worked out well. [2008-05-07]
kids do a lot of growing and changing in elementary school years so who knows, this bully could turn out to be your daughter's bff after a break from each other. my son struggled with a bully in daycare before kindergarten. now they are in the same class and get along great. granted neither remember the problems of 5 years ago but at any rate, the other child grew out of it and they have become good friends. best of luck to your daughter! it sounds like she has a great role model. :)
I was so glad to read your post [2008-05-06]
You stated in the beginnig that you didnyour gonna miss this he is so right. Our oldest will be leaving for college in a little over a year and I am already having issues. Just have fun and enjoy. I remember one year my DS played basketball on a team that only won 1 game. We took them out for ice cream after every game and celebrated like we had won. I understand what really irks you, but just think about the kids.
glad to see you look at it this way! Really good idea! Have a good season! nm [2008-05-06]
nm
Wow am I glad my MIL is not like that. [2008-05-05]
She is awesome. I can't imagine having to deal with stuff like that, and I certainly can't imagine having a husband that lets his mother treat his wife like that.
Sounds like some of youneed a new husband with a backbone.
No and things have gotten insane concerning drugs [2008-05-02]
nm
Things to try - sm [2008-04-27]
Go get those huge bags of ice they sell at gas stations and fit in as many of those as you can into the freezer and fridge, then DO NOT keep opening them to check on things. I personally would not eat fish that had thawed out...Best of luck to you!
One day my 3 year old son was looking in the fridge reviewing things [2008-04-24]
x
It worked for me. [2008-04-23]
I learned something also. I did not know that the more you weigh, the more calories you burn doing the same thing, interesting. Thanks.
Funny things your kids said or did that cracked you up [2008-04-23]
When my dd was around three I was cleaning and had her playing in her playroom. I turned off the vacuum and she was standing there looking up at me very intently. She says do you wanna play a game mommy? I dont know, what kind of game? I ask. She responded oh I dont know maybe some Milton Bradleys or Parker Brothers.
Sometimes have to type things that you don't agree with ... [2008-04-23]
When typing a verbatim psych consult, I occasionally have to type language that is objectable, when a patient is quoted. The F word is one I don't like, never use myself, but hey, if the doctor says it, you've gotta type it.
Aww, poor thing. Glad you found it in time...sm [2008-04-19]
If it is still out there in the morning and you are not sure what to do, try giving a veterinarian a call and see if they have a wildlife rescue place you could call. The vet I worked for years ago had a list of places to refer caringpeople like you. Good luck.
Glad your day turned out well...and that was [2008-04-19]
great you huddled. After dad talked to them on the phone, and they came back inside they did their chores, made their own lunches, while I tried to get that headache to go away. DH just took them with their allowances from last week to Walmart probably to remind them the positive points of being cooperative. Yep, I love them too and don't want to think about the next 15 years when they leave. I just think for me and maybe some of us it is difficult working at home all day and doing double, triple duty. I have been worried about my MT pay and wrote my DH a note today I am indeed going to take some time off from MTing because I feel burnt to a crisp. He said something about a month in a house at the beach (with kids, and with him just popping in), but I know I won't be able to take much time at all off from work. Our production job is so tough, man, some days are difficult for mom, dad and kids. But it cheers me to hear your day got better. Mine is too because I rested and the kids are out at Walmart which they love. About my taking time off from MTing, we'll see how long that lasts LOL. Dream, dream, dream.
NO [2008-07-03]
I would not make him keep doing the scout thing.. some kids like those activities, some don't.. I'm sure there are other things he is interested in - or might be interested in - that will teach him some of the same lessons scouting would.
My sons have been in Scouts for some time now...sm [2008-07-03]
My youngest (11 years old) was in Cub Scouts for about 3 years and crossed over into a newly chartered troop. My oldest son (17 years old) joined the troop also, mostly out of necessity (we needed his warm body in order to have enough boys to charter). My youngest loves it and my oldest is kind of lukewarm about it. I have also been a leader at the pack, troop, district and council level for over 4 years now. We are basically a scouting family and love it.
With that said, however, I will say that scouting is not for everyone, and everyone does not get out of scouting what is there for them to learn simply because everyone is not interested in learning those things or because of poor leadership within the scouting unit. In your case, it sounds to me as if the latter may be true.
You didn't say how old your son is or how long he has been in scouting, but it sounds to me like he has a very poor leader if he makes them camp this way. Some overly self-glorified scout leaders try to turn scouting into junior Army training which is not what it is meant to be. If there is another pack or troop in the area, you might consider changing and see if that improves his scouting experience by a new leader and better camping conditions. When we camp, each boy has his own tent (can be bought at Walmart for about $15) and we always have a campfire in a designated fire ring that burns pretty much all night. Each boy is safely enclosed in his own tent that zips up which greatly reduces the chances of spiders, snakes, bugs, etc. Of course the boys have to be trained to keep their tent flaps zipped closed at all times so that nothing gets in.
My advice from a scouter's viewpoint is to talk to your son and then you and your son and husband talk to the scout leader and see what can be done to improve the scouting experience for your son as well as the other boys in the unit. If the leader does not want to chanage his ways to more closely follow the scouting ideals, then find another troop or pack to join. Sounds like there is a LOT of room for improvement here.
Here is a link that may help, too. http://netcommish.com/askandy.asp
This one has struck a chord with me. [2008-07-03]
I have been an assistant scoutmaster for 8 years now. Yes, I am a mom, and there are women scout leaders out there! My job with our troop was Webelos-to-Scout Transition Coordinator. My job was to help our youngest boys and their families become part of our troop and to make sure that the boys have fun and get all that they can from the scout experience. Summer camp was always the make or break time for the youngest boys. You didn't say if your son is a new scout, but I assume this is his first time at summer camp. Homesickness and living in the outdoors are always the biggest hurdles during the first summer camp.
You are not over-reacting because your son is having a bad time. That's a simple fact, and he deserves to have those feelings validated and addressed. Since I'm female, I tend to approach the first-time scout's misery in a different way, and over the years, a lot of men have disagreed with my methods. But, they work. Men seem to like the stick-it-out approach, and I've seen some of the worst leaders actually tease and belittle homesick boys or boys who don't take easily to the outdoor experience. That really finishes off the boy for scouting. He quits. Do you think that is what is happening with your son?
At summer camp with our first year scouts, I always listen to them, validate their fears, and then try to help them overcome their fears with knowledge. If spiders or animals scare them, we go to the nature lodge and find out all about them. We do a good cleaning of their tents or lean-toWell, it I and my fellow adult leaders have spent a lot of nights sitting around picnic tables talking to scouts, sometimes making a game of listening for owls or watching spiders crawl across the table in the lantern light. And if boys do call home, I would run like crazy to the camp phone to call the parents first to let them know what was going on and to tell them to expect a call from their son. In that way, parents were prepared, and we could coordinate our efforts to help their son.
Basically, it just takes some compassion. The hard core approach doesn't work.
Why do I go through all the trouble? Because I know the value of the scouting program. When it's done well, it goes a long way to help parents raise up honorable men. In our troop, our scouts learn to be compassionate, because we've modeled that sort of behavior for them. They learn about living in the outdoors, and learn to take care of themselves and others. That gives them a sense of accomplishment and makes them feel capable. They learn problem-solving skills and teamwork. These are all important life skills, and when scouting is done well, boys who come through are lightyears ahead of most of their non-scout peers by the time they are 18.
But that only happens when it's done right. There are great troops and adult volunteers in the BSA, but there are unfortunately some real losers, as well. It's true that scouting is not for everyone, but there is no reason for so many boys to be pushed away because of issues that just need a little careful thought and attention. This is one of my most passionate issues with scouting. Even the BSA knows that the first year scout is the most likely to quit, and they spend a lot of money and time training volunteers on this subject. It seems that some adults don't learn as quickly as others, though. And there is a core of leaders who like to remember what it was like when they were boy scouts, and won't move ahead or adapt their techniques for the boy of today's times. A new 11-year-old scout should not be expected to act like a man and tough it out. He's still a boy, and living in the woods is usually a totally new experience for him. MOST boys are scared at first, but the men and other boys hate to admit it. A new scout just needs some patience, understanding and time to mature. He needs to feel safe even when he's struggling, and he needs to know that he is supported.
I don't know all the details of your son's experience, but if you think that what I've said might apply to him, you might consider looking for another troop, one that will provide him with a good, supportive program. Not all scout troops are the same. Each has a different personality, so perhaps another troop would suit your son better. If that's not possible, or if at this point he is completely turned off by scouting, there are certainly other activities out there that can teach him the things that are learned through scouting. Encourage him to find out what his talents are and help him to explore all of the possibilities that life has to offer.
I'm so sorry to hear that your son is not enjoying scouts. It really breaks my heart when I hear such stories, because I know that the adult volunteers could handle the situation better. My own sons had a hard time the first time they went to camp, which is why I got involved. I knew there was a better way to deal with such a common problem. My oldest, who is now 20, still works with scouts, and my youngest will receive his Eagle Scout rank in just a couple of weeks. I have seen many, many boys' lives changed for the better by the scouting program, including my own sons. I hope that your son can also have a great experience in scouting.
I'm always happy to talk about scouting, and if you'd like to send me a private message, I'd be glad to share more of my thoughts on the subject.
thanks for your reply (please see msg) [2008-07-03]
I hope you don't mind, but I just pasted your answer and sent it to my husband - he is staying the last two nights of the campout and will get my email that is printed out by the staff at the camp facility. I also know that the leaders read the emails before distributing them and I thought your answer was awesome! I want my son to enjoy scouting, not be miserable. If he is going to be miserable, I would rather he not do it at all. I am a Brownie leader for my daughter and have a full-time job so I don't feel I can dedicate a lot of time to Boy Scouts as well but I think I am going to tell my husband and the other leaders that if things do not change, and my husband insists on making my son go to the campouts, I will be going as well.
A very small town in West Texas [2008-07-03]
I live in an 890 sq foot rock house. I am guessing at the sq foot actually. It is close to 900 but not quite there. It ihas 2 bedrooms, 1 bath. Metal roof. I live close to the schools. I live 2 blocks from the local hospital. I just applied for a job there in fact. I worked 8 years for a big 300-bed multispeciality hospital that was 35 miles away. I left because of the climbing gas prices and I thought I needed a break from the office politics. I started working for an on-line transcription company and for some reason just cannot seem to produce the lines or make half the money I was making at the hospital. I have been here 6 months already. I applied to another company to try my luck there and they offered me a job but I read in the paper yetserday this little hospital here is hiring. They do light transcription, filing, I forget what else it said. The best part is I will have benes. As I was applying a nurse recognized me and was telling me about them and they have improved since I worked there 10 years ago. I hope the pay has as welland I hope they still like me. LOL.
There is something called the MDR1 gene...sm [2008-07-03]
MDR1 (multi-drug resistance gene). Itfound in herding breeds likecollies, aussies, etc., and somel other breeds as well. It The only way to know is to test the dog to see if has the gene or is a carrier. (I think that just involves a cheek swab.)
Were these dogs related to each other? I wonder if that gene was the cause, or if the vet was negligent, or if it was just terrible luck. It
Beforesurgery,Italk to the vet and make sureI understandwhat kind of drugs and anesthetic they use, and how the dog is monitored during anesthesia and while recovering. Just like with people, there is always a risk. Some vets have all the fancy, high tech equipment for monitoring, but others relymore onan assistantto do it manually. I prefer There are not nearly as many vet anesthesiologists in the vet world as there are in human medicine.
II I just read about this gene when I was helping a friend research the breed. Her first aussie died at a ripe old age of about 14 yrs old, I think, andshe has one thatyear old and has had no health problems that I know of. Isorry for your friend. To have a dog die after a flea dip of all things... and then another after routine teeth cleaning. There is always a risk with anesthesia, but we get so used to thinking it
She took her current Aussie to the vet for neutering. When he came home he was lethargic. They took him back and the doctor put him on an IV to flush his system of any anesthesia?
This s/l either the dog had a bad reaction to the anesthesia, or the vet went overboard and gave too much...
See message..... [2008-07-03]
Well, I have to say he definitely isn't thoughtless. Matter of fact, it seems he over analysis and thinks things out waaay too much. My daughter just rolls her eyes at it. What we felt for our SIL was not aminosity. We thought a lot of him at first, and felt he always had our daughter's best interest at heart. What we do know to be true, however, is that after the engagement the person we saw changed into someone who became manipulative, overbearing, and controlling. He just manages to do it in a way that seems harmless enough, but there's just something about it that doesn't feel right. Our son saw the same thing and he spent way more time around them than we have. He does come from a family in our community where some believe they are right up there with God, but unfortunately never have had to deal with them one on one. We have asked ourselves the same thing....why has our daughter not seen this. Our son tells us he has seen her chew him out before but never where she thinks anyone can hear. He's waaaay to interested in her girlfriends, as we have come to know, since they have been married. He thinks her girlfriend's problems/situations are his as well,as if he should be involved. We have just overlooked many many things but I have to say, we have done it for our daughter. We have been nothing but pleasant around him but he can be very rude and pompous acting. So if that sounds like we wish we had a different SIL, we just wish we had the one we saw before the marriage. His dad said he can be a little too over zealous about things, which may be the case here, but this just isn't thoughtful at all. Oh well, I guess we'll see tonight.
keep us posted... [2008-07-03]
Enquiring minds want to know....Let us know how things turn out. I hope everything works out well.
I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved pet [2008-07-02]
That was so sad to hear your story. The worse part of it was that your beloved pet died and I feel such sympathy for you and what you must be going through.
What has this country become when so many people are sue happy. DH and I have talked about wanting to start a business growing veggies and raising talapia fish to sell but I said in today's day and age there is no way I will sell anything anyone eats as there are too many people out there waiting to creat a law suit. Makes me ashamed to live in a country with so many scam artists out there trying to make a quick buck. You know what, whether your dog bit her or a bone scratched her, there were no marks or anything. If her foot was mangled or something I could understand but please - give me a break. I'm glad for you it wasn't any worse (money wise), but am deeply saddened you lost such a wonderful pet. I still grieve for my cats (and they died 8 years ago). I hope things get better for you and hope that person will get her comeuppance.
Your little girl - sm [2008-07-02]
I can't blame you about the bill. That was unconscionable to be so petty about the money. They're lucky their dog wasn't put down and they should know it.
About your daughter - I wouldn't dismiss out of hand getting her a dog. Not right away, of course, but after some time has passed. Let me explain.
I saw my sister attacked by a dog when I was five, and although I wasnmagic cure for your daughter's fear as she finds out that most dogs are friendly and loveable.
This also worked for our son, who was nine when we got our first puppy. He was so scared that he actually spent the afternoon in the garage rather than come into the house with Sam (who incidentally was a three month old golden retriever!). Now he owns his own dog and is considering going into veterinary medicine.
Good luck to you and your family. And I pray the owners of the dog that attacked your daughter have an attack of conscience and do the right thing by your family.
for what it is worth [2008-07-02]
I understand where you are coming from. Your child was hurt through (probably) no fault of her own. . Their dog was loose and injured your child... The authorities in your town should have made them keep the dog up for a period of time and fined them for having a dog on the loose - most areas have leash laws. . They should have paid the medical bills. . If my dog bites someone (we live in the country and he runs loose some) I will be glad to pay the medical bills. . I'm sorry you were bashed on this board. . If you had rushed to sue when it first happened, it would be different - you gave them ample time and what you were asking was reasonable...
Paying down debt [2008-07-02]
It is getting harderto make ends meet because of all the straws in ourbank account. I have 17k in CC dept alone. It iswith4 different CC companies. OneCC has $200, #2 has about 4K,#3 has about2K, #4 has 10k. The 10K one has a 15 % APR, the others I believe range from 24% to 29% APR. My biggest monthly payment is my house and I owe only $4700 on it and it has 6.3% APR. I sold some things and am getting $5K and that will be enough to pay offmy house. I would love to finally, officialy own this house and get rid of that$350 monthly pmt, but I wonder if I should not pay down on the CC because of the high interest rates. Any opinions. TIA.
Paying Down Debt [2008-07-02]
I feel you, believe me. First, Bravo to you for facing this. That I think if you are so close to paying off your house, you wouldnAdditionally, the interest rates aren What is the total of payments you are making on your credit cards? If you can slap that 5000.00 on your debt first on all of the higher interest ones perhaps paying some of them off. That will free up extra money to put on the rest of your credit cards. Then once the credit cards are paid off, you can then work on the mortgage (I WISH I had your mortgage..). Also we work in an industry where it is easy to pick up extra work---have you thought of that just to get extra money to pay off the debt? That Things are just so bad right now. Good luck, hope this helps...
Dogs, fireworks, and... peppermint oil? sm [2008-07-02]
One of my dogs has a little bit of a problem with loud noises such as fireworksandthunderstorms. He doesnbut I happened toread an article about how using peppermint oil on the dogreally calm them,so I
Ithas to be real peppermint oil (not the kind found in the grocery store in the baking section), so I went to a local health food store and bought a bottle. You put the oil on a cotton pad, then put some on each of the dog I did a Google search and found a lot of comments from people saying it worked for their dog. (Just type in
Below isanother article I found while searching around. I know a lot of pets end up freaking out and getting lostthis time of year, poor things, so be sure you have an up-to-date ID tag on your pets, even if they will be inside the house.
Dogs Fireworks Don't Mix!
Every year on the Fourth of July America's skies are bright with fireworks, sparklers and Roman candles as we celebrate Independence Day. Bangs, explosions and bright lights are accompanied by screams, sirens and howling dogs throughout the country.
Dogs do not like fireworks. Fact. Every year dogs along with many other animals experience fear and confusion, sometimes alone when their owners are away enjoying an organized event. It is not unusual for dogs to run away from home after being frightened by fireworks. Another problem for dogs is the fact that fireworks seem to be going off for a few days leading up to July 4th as well so there is no way of knowing exactly when your dog might be subjected to a loud bang.
Below are some suggestions to help ensure that your pets can get through the fireworks unscathed.
It is a good idea to bring any outdoor pets inside during the fireworks.Always remember how acute a dog's sense of hearing is. A loud bang to us can feel like a volcano erupting to a dog.
It may be hard, but try and stay with your dog during the fireworks. Your presence will help to calm your dog and while the noise may still frighten them, they will feel better and recover much faster with you there.
Always make sure your dog has his or her own special area where they can go to feel safe. Be it an indoor kennel or a place under the stairs, dogs love to have a den at their disposal.
It sounds obvious, but try to keep the windows and curtains closed during the fireworks display as this will lessen the effect of the noise and bright flashes.
Also, normal household noises such as the TV or music can help to distract from the loud noises coming from outside.
Last but certainly not least, always ensure your pet has some sort of identification on him or her. It is a sad fact but many dogs do run away from home because of fireworks.Even dogs that have previously shown no fear of fireworks can occasionally take flight at the loud noises and flashes in the sky.
Be prepared, your dog has never heard of Independence Day or The Fourth of July and he doesnHe needs your help to make it through the day.
Thanks, but I planning on being [2008-07-02]
right in the ocean with them or my husband will be. We But thanks for the reminder. Glad to hear your situation turned out okay.
magnesium [2008-07-01]
I could be wrong but I think I read on here somewhere that someone took magnesium right before bed and it worked great.
I think she full of baloney [2008-07-01]
Stranger things have happened, though. You are positive she had a hysterectomy? It just doesn't pass the smell test.
I think it is a combination of things. [2008-07-01]
For one, parents don Secondly, some people just aren Thirdly, people are just lazy.
I have told my husband that he needs to teach my stepson something useful that he can use later in life like wiring something, building something, etc. My husband is smart enough that he pretty much does everything around here. In fact, he is currently putting up a fence for our horses. To pay to have that done would have cost us 3K more than him doing it himself. Needless to say, we opted to do it ourselves.
I truly hope that he doesn At 14, kids don You start them young and they think it is fun.
I understand your frustration [2008-07-01]
Your daughter is entitled to pain and suffering, should you pursue it. Your medical bills, however, should be covered by your medical insurance IMO. That I don If you weren
You didn You also didn I also have to wonder if part of your anger isn
Just some things to think about. I know what it I hope your daughter is doing well and will be able to overcome her fear of dogs eventually.
If you do get a settlement I would use it to get - sm [2008-07-01]
two things, a fence for your yard, and therapy for your daughter as she obviously needs it. If you are not taking her as yet, get her to a therapist pronto. Any left over money you put into her college fund. Good luck.
Oh my Gosh!!...sm [2008-06-30]
I don't know what to say. I mean I knew people had it bad but my gosh you live in utter torment. The first thing that comes to mind is..Where are your parents? Are they willing to help in any way? Could you stay with them a while? Do you have anyone? I don't know how you have lived 14 years with this. I would think on how much I make and see if what I could afford to rent and live on public assistance if I had to because I would not live with that man. Things can't be much worse off than they are now. Try to get a MT job that has insurance and benefits. If not don't they have the CHIPS program where you live where if you make under a certain amount you can get free insurance for your kids? I don't know what to say but leave.
A lot depends on your daughter, not just you - sm [2008-06-30]
Is she sensible? There are not many 16-y/o that have not tried drinking or smoking, it is all part of trying new things,etc. and it will happen whether you like it or not. You have to learn to trust her to make smart decisions and to make her own mistakes but obviously to guide her and make sure she doesndate had MadDog, nasty stuff, and I got obliterated as I did not realize what that crud would do to me. Lucky for me my dad was out of the country at the time. My punishment was being forced to go to school with a horrible hangover (though I puked my guts out in my friendscares). I actually went and got on the pill while still a virgin so when it did happen I would be protected. --- is your daughter that sensible and with some common sense? I did a lot of stupid things along with the smart things I doing, just got lucky and came out of it okay. At 16 you want to experiment and have fun. All my friend and I were A/B students, 1 smoked and did all sorts of drugs. I would drink and smoke pot now and them (1 x a week or so), and again parents NEVER knew it. I remember one time my dad picked me up at school after play practice (was helping out with set design), I was stoned, had been slipped angel dust and had been hallucinating about an hour or two prior, was still pretty high. He wanted me to drive home for practice (I was 16), I turned him down because I was very tired.....he never knew, I crawled into bed the minute I got home. I was very, very good at hiding it from my parents, how they didn't smell it on me I never knew, unless they just ignored it. My best friend smoked and they new that so I guess that helped cover it up a bit. Despite all this I was very anti-drug (anything but pot) as I had seen too many people messed up on coke, crank, LSD, etc. I was furious with my BF's brother as he was the one who slipped me the angel dust, I got lucky as nothing bad happened to me. He is dead now, ended up addicted to coke, then alcohol, got hepatitis, car-jacked 3 cars for drug money, and ended up in prison with a 20 year sentence, got out after 8 years in 2006, then got addicted to painkillers, they found him dead in his apartment, killed by mixing alcohol and painkillers. This just happened about 8 months ago. He was only 42. Very sad as he was a smart guy but had many, many problems and never got his life together. Obviously this does not happen to everyone who does drugs, it all depends on the person and their upbringing. His sister (one of my BFs) is a successful therapist, drinks but quit smoking several years ago, never got into hard drugs like her brother. ---sorry for the rambling, but don't go overboard and lock her up, that will just make her go in the opposite direction. Obviously you need to set limits, etc, and try to know where she is and who she is with, and set punishments if you catch her doing it and let her know what those punishments will be, whether it is grounding for a month, or no cell phone, no TV, no driving, whatever, be firm and stick to it. I know that my brothers and I all did stuff, most of which we got away with, but it was shear luck and stupidity when I look back at it. Not all kids are so lucky. I hope you daughter is one of the lucky ones.
Thank you for the advice. sm [2008-06-30]
My daughter is an overall good kid, has always been an A/B student in honors and high honors. She has kept her grades up and is involved in environmental clubs, humanitarian clubs and is a do gooder overall all. I'm just in shock having learned that she has been drinking for 2 years. She tells me that she is glad now she does not have to hide it anymore and says she hated lying to me, but was afraid of what I would do if I found out, obviously. I want to punish her but I don't want to push her the other way where she will rebel more and do worse things. I guess this is my reality check. I need to come to terms with the fact that kids her age will drink and I think I can almost deal with that if I can somehow make a deal with her that she will not get drunk and obviously drive when she has been drinking. I have an even bigger problem with the cigarettes and I just can't stand the thought of her smoking. She tells me she has not done any drugs. I want to believe her, but at this point I am also very hurt and feel that she has broken the trust I had in her by lying to me all this time. This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. Sigh.
been there [2008-06-30]
It is very scary and hard to know how to deal with these situations when they are basically really good kids - good grades, caring, thoughtful, involved in clubs, etc. . One thing I did with my daughter was told her straight out if I ever found out she had been drinking and driving, her car would be gone - not for a week or two either, at least 6 months and probably longer. . Also, if I found out she was riding with someone who had been drinking, she would be severely grounded. . There was ALWAYS the option to call for a ride home with no questions asked. .These things never happened as far as I know - I did find out, later, about a time or two when alcohol was consumed and she stayed all night at a friendhappy there is danger in that too - as her response/judgment in certain situations may be off. . It seems that you have good communication with her and you definitely want to keep that going. . It is a fine line - you want them to know what you do not approve of, yet want them to be open and honest and talk to you. . Hang in there, it will get better.
Your SIL must be my BIL [2008-06-30]
My BIL is exactly like that. I donhow-to books and tools around if people stop by it appears like he can do things himself. HA HA. On the other hand my sister isn't much better. She has been working on a computer about as long as I have (over 20 years) but she cannot copy, cut, paste, doesn't know where her files are when she saves them, does not know what the desktop is. Cannot work with more than one program up at a time, etc, etc. (again she has a computer guy help her). When I go back to see her she asks me to help her with her computer stuff, but when I tell her she writes down everything exactly word for word and what takes me about 2 minutes to do takes me about 40 minutes to explain to her and stop because she writes slow. Very frustrating (and then my aunt calls her asking computer questions). HA HA. However, now that their business has died down and one of them is out of work and the other looking for full time work they are having to do a lot of stuff they don't know how to. Was laughing when my sister told me BIL busted the lawnmower because he crashed it into a tree. HA HA HA
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