I remember a doctor once saying

I remember a doctor once saying [2007-09-08]
that usually when a patient thinks they are depressed, they are. With my depression I don't want to exist. I don't want to kill myself, I just wish I was never born. I want to escape the ugly side of the world. Fortunately my temptation is not to escape into alcohol or illicit drugs, but into sleep, or at least television or a book. I tend to stay up late at night though, dreading going to bed because then I'll have to get up and face another day. I have no direction, nothing interests me or excites me. I don't care to see people and certainly don't want to hear about all the terrible things happening in the world that I have no control over. How are you feeling?

Just remember, you are not alone, even though it may feel [2007-03-27]
that way at times. I would guesstimate that 1 out of every 5 dictations that I transcribe have Depression and/or Anxiety listed under heading of Past Medical History.

Fibromyalgia [2008-07-21]
I have fibromyalgia and the pain is excruciating. When getting out of bed in the mornings, I have to take pain meds and wait for about an hour just to get moving. I am so depressed over this and the only antidepressant i can tolerate is wellbutrin which does absolutely nothing for me. Tried lyrica and Cymbalta, awful, awful side effects. The side effects of Lyrica was the awful weight gain, Cymbalta left me with terrible GI problems. MT is my only means of support as I am alone supporting myself. I had to quit a nice full time job because I can no longer work full time. Anyone who suffers from this, you know what I am referring to about this disorder being just terrible. Most days, I do have to PUSH myself to do anything, including work. I take pain meds (narcotics) 3 times a day at 10 mg of hydrocodone, I take Tramadol in between, and alprazolam with the hydrocodone for the muscle spasms. I feel like a zombie. I am allergic to all NSAIDs. I went thru testings for Lupus, MS, etc.....and they were all negative, which was good. I had suffered with this for almost 2 years as the doctor i had at the time said that he did not treat nor believe in fibromyalgia, so when I was able to get health insurance, I changed doctors and she completely understood and believed that fibromyalgia IS a disease and it was not all in my head. If anyone out there suffers from this, how do you deal, what do you do for it besides drugs? If I have typos, sorry...it even hurts to type this morning.

Me too [2008-07-05]
I would love to have a diet buddy on line. At least you went to your doctor, I am one of those who is so overweight I am even embarrassed to go to the doctor because I do not want to listen to them tell me I need to lose weight, I already know that!

stress [2008-05-07]
I am so sorry, I miss my dad terribly, too. He was my step-dad, and the best thing my mother ever did for me was to marry him. Do you pray? I will remember you in mine.

Paxil [2008-03-14]
I work in a psych office and haven I hope you contacted the prescribing doc as well as your primary care doc. I do know that some psychotropics can cause uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms and are usually weaned off gradually under the supervision of a doctor. Please call them if you haven't.

Opposite with me [2008-01-17]
I used to feel that way when I worked outside the house - some days I could barely face going to work because of all the people. Now that I rarely see anyone, I find that I actually enjoy talking to clerks and people watching when I get out. I think in my case its a control factor - now I can control who I see and when, and what they can demand of me - which was impossible with an outside job. Hopefully you Not everyoneisborn to be a social butterfly. Try to analyze exactly what you are avoiding, and why, and maybe you'll find an answer.

Fascinating! [2007-09-29]
Here I am, it I just read what you and ER-MT posted and it A few months ago I had a meltdown and just had to get away. I went into the woods for a good 2 hours and just sat and listened and watched pretty much nothing except for some birds. I hate the thought of taking any medication because I have control over it 90% of the time...but that darned 10% of feeling out of control is a bummer when it does hit, and it I really hate the thought of any mental health issues being put in my medical record as well. I see a doctor maybe once every few years for a physical and only go if something is broken or needs suturing. I hate doctors--especially the ones up here in Maine. Itreated by an veterinarian. I actually had to turn my phone off this week because I Sheand she Thanks for the book recommendation. I'll have to check it out and see if there are any good tips for coping with it all.

Cymbalta [2007-09-27]
I was on Cymbalta for about 7-10 days last year and i was horrible! I had just lost my brother and the doctor felt I needed to be on it. It made me really jittery and also horribly nauseous. So happened, my doctor was out of town and so I tapered myself down and off of it before she came back. I don't ever want that stuff again!

I had a similar exp. w/Wellbutrin...sm [2007-09-27]
I too only took *1* dose, and couldn Honestly, it was a good 2 weeks before I felt mostly back to normal, and several weeks longer before I felt completely back to normal. It was awful. The Wellbutrin made me feel sort of like I had the flu in many ways, and very dizzy, but there were other bizarre things too, likethe smell of coffee (which I love) and the smell of many other things,made me feel sosick and nauseous. I was also crying at first, but not really feeling sad, just sort of like the tears were leaking out for no reason. Strange! I told my doctor about it right away. (I called her office, cause I halfway thought I was dying!), and she didn She jotted something in my chart about the Wellbutrin causing I asked her if I was allergic to it, and she said no, not allergic, just an adverse reaction (I I felt like telling her to but in my record that I AM allergic to it, just to be safe. So long story short, 1 pill can make you very sick if you have a bad reaction to it, and you Hope you

Thank God I am not alone. [2007-09-04]
The last month I can't sleep. Tried Ambien, Ambien CR, Lunesta, Rozeram, and all the ones they advertise on TV. Doc tried me on trazadone, can't handle the side effects and it didn't make me sleep. I finally conceded to the fact that it has to be something with menopause. I go back to the doctor Thursday. My saving grace is the MT company I work for doesn't have shifts so if I can't sleep then I work and when I fall asleep I don't have to worry about when I roll out of bed in the morning. And the boss loves it cause I am the only crazy person up in the middle of the night working :-)

depression, anxiety - sm [2007-09-04]
My anxiety gives me the feeling of impending doom. I just know that something really really awful is about to happen, my heart beats faster and I cannot breathe correctly. The depression had me crying at every turn and not sleeping hardly at all, which just made it worse. I felt responsible for everything bad that ever happened to anyone. I also fought and fought against going to the doctor and admitting that there was something wrong. I hope that you are able to figure this out, my advice is to go to your doctor either way, because if it is not depression/anxiety, it is definitely something.

i did this [2007-08-20]
I did this for a year, i would sleep about an hour and then wake up, get on the couch, sleep another hour and up again. mine was guilt, depression, and definitely anxiety... basically panicking about what was going to happen the next day, like i could do anything about it. My doctor at first put me on Lunesta, but I didnt like how that made me feel, so I went to a small dosage of trazodone. I have done great on that. Also my life has straightened up a lot... I have tried sleeping without them, but thats not so great yet. I really want to wean off my Effexor and this, but coming off Effexor really really scares me.. I have seen what it does to me if I miss one day. Im a maniac!! even into the next couple of day, crying all the time about everything. anyway, make sure you get something to help you sleep because you HAVE to have it.

yep, that makes sense [2007-08-20]
I have a son who has ADHD. I took him this summer to a developmental pediatrician who specialized in ADHD. It was a 5-hour appointment, but very informative. Uncontrolled ADHD WILL cause depression later in your life. That was stressed to us over and over. Do you have ADHD in your family? You may have said that in another post, Im sorry if you did. Be sure to mention this to your doctor. You are not crazy! I feel like that sometimes too, but I just get up and do something positive, like walk or clean something that it not huge, but something you can see quick results. Find something for yourself and yourself alone - kids take so much out of you. You are starting at the right place though, even consider seeing a psychiatrist if they want to put you on antidepressants to be sure you have the right dosage. Good luck, and God bless!

I just have to say... [2007-08-18]
You are not crazy! I think it takes a very strong person to realize that something is a little off and an absolutely wonderful mother to be worried about how this could effect her kids. I think you are doing the right thing by seeing your doctor. You will get it figured out. Until then, do the best you can and know that your mother loves you and wants to help. Believe me I understand your issues with your mother - I have similar ones - but I know she loves me, as your mother does you. Stay strong!

i agree sm [2007-08-15]
prescription medications are about the only market that they can saturate us with anymore. used to be cigarettes and beer. i mean i have never once asked my doctor about icantstandmyselfene one day i hope their money runs out.

Seeking advice [2007-07-12]
I can understand some of what you are going through. I had no health insurance for 3 years. I am on Wellbutrin and Effexor. Glaxo-Smith-Kline and other drug companies have what they call Indigent programs. It is income based, but also uses your doctor's recommendations. Once approved, you do everything by mail. The mail order pharmacy I used was Rite-Aid. Don't feel bad about asking for help. I used to work in a Urology office for 13 years and we had many male patients come in on chemo for prostate cancer that could not afford the $1,500-$2,000 price tage for the seeds that they implant in your skin. Many times insurance companies will not pay. This is where these programs come in handy. As to what one of the other poster's stated about Legal Aid...you could also call your local Bar Association. They would have a list of lawyers that could help you. Good luck with your CTS and I will say a prayer for you.

my situation in brief [2007-07-09]
College degree summa cum laude (BA), though not in MT. Privately trained in MT via paid mentorship. MT for over 10 years. Not a CMT or RMT. Presently an IC/subcontractor doing acute care. Said supervisor is who farms my work out to me. Dragon is working OK but I literally can't stand sitting here redictating everything. Used to have several of my own clients as well... have given them all up due to CTS. I have been told repeatedly by my supervisor that I am not capable of doing my job, and I am called derogatory things. I would prefer to not put them here. I have offered to be terminated, as I said, but it never happens. I do not know what my strong points are as I am not certified and am reprimanded frequently, but never fired. I have no faith in my skills. I own the BOS but my work is all done verbatim and Iwrong style-wise in a document. I do not have a doctor presently; I last saw someone about a year ago for the CTS and it just got too expensive. To be honest, I am near bankruptcy and last night I ran out of rice. Buying Dragon put me over the edge financially. I say this to anyone considering MT: Run as far as you can. I never thought I'd end up like this.

Some suggestions. [2007-07-03]
I see so many typist that have a lot of problems that are caused by improper ergonomics. Don I have been typing for 25+ years now. I had problems1 time with carpal tunnel, bought the wrist splints and put them on at night and when not typing, took Aleve and applied ice. When mine flares up I do this and I am fine. (I am lucky with that I know.) I do get tennis elbow alot where that ligament behind your elbow, to the inside, or the ulnar nerve, gets iflammed and hurts like heck, but I ice that too. I remember a Health nurse at a hospital I worked at one time coming buy and telling someone that I was the only one she had ever seen that typed in an ergonomically correct position. I have had friends who slump over or slide way down in thier chairs or are too high or too low and they are always hurting. I certainly don The attached URL gives some good info.It might take some getting used to but it's worth the try. I moved about 3 years ago and have not been happy with where I have my desk or the type of desk it is. For 2 years I went back and forth to Dr. with pain in my left chest above my breast, not heart pain. Kept giving me EKGs, etc, I said, it hurts in the muscle/bone and straight through to back. Sometimes it would swaps sides. Put me on Xanax, Flexeril and Reglan 4 times a day. Who could type like that. I did not hurt because I was sleeping all the time! One day I bought a new keyboard rest and I swear to pete it quit in 3 minutes. All those steroid injections and I cured myself for 5 bucks. If my keyboard is not straight or in this case, one of those that slides around, it kills my shoulders, elbows or wrist. Finally got one with rubber feet that does not slide. One time I hot glued it to the desk! If I were you I would find somewhere else to work as in another company. Kicking someone when they are down just depresses you more. You need some positive reinforcement. I have a local facilitythatpays more and is closer, but I flat refuse to work there because of one smart mouth that works there and admin. refused to do anything about her. They have lost good employees because of it. But if it causes me more stress than good the heck with it. Life is too short. Being happy with coworkers will improve your productivity too.

You don't say exactly what your situation is. sm [2007-07-03]
How long have you been at this? What kind of background do you have? Is this the only place you've ever worked? The reason I ask is that you need to evaluate your skills and your situation, to identify your options. I know some people use Dragon. Personally I didn't find it helpful, although I didn't use the medical edition. It takes extensive training of the software to be effective. If you have time, it might work. Do you have the option of editing? Do you have the familiarity with the BOS and the technical know-how to do this? What about VR? There are companies that offer accounts that really are mostly just correcting work. One that has to have extensive typing of course isn't an option. You might make less on VR than a healthy typist, but I don't think you would make less than a typist with CTS. Sit down and make a list of your strong points. Be honest, but don't short-change yourself. You may have been beaten down for too long by a rude supervisor. For a person to try to continue MT work with severe CTS isn't realistic. See if you can come up with an alternative plan to put in place before you leave your current job. Then talk to your doctor about any medical avenues available, including state aid. I don't know the rules out CTS, never have had it, thank God. And don't hesitate to come to this board and talk. The people here are mostly very supportive, with a few exceptions. Some of them may have been through what you're going through, and be able to offer some practical advice. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

I agree 100% about Effexor. I take it for anxiety and panic attacks. SM [2007-04-13]
I It lasted for two weeks. I couldn I wore the carpet out from pacing the house. It started with pain in my right rib cage which I knew in my mind was not a heart attack, but apparently my body didn Next thing you know I My panick attack lasted two horrible weeks. I went to my regular doctor who belittled my symptoms and treated me like the loon I already thought I was. I am hypersensitive to medications and everything was giving me stomach upset. I finally found a wonderful nurse practitioner who completely understood what I was going through, said her daughter had panic attacks, and she prescribed me Effexor. I am now titrated up to 150 mg a day and it is wonderful. I feel calm. My teenaged son calls it my chill pill and that about sums it up. Wow, I No one can every really understand a panic attack unless they've been through one themselves.

I had major postpartum depression with both my kids. SM [2007-04-13]
Looking back, I was probably more prone to the postpartum depression because I Anyway, I found that breastfeeding actually added to my anxiety during that time. I wanted to breastfeed because I wanted to be a good mother and quite frankly the nurses at the hospital really pushed breastfeeding. With my second baby, my OB doctor told me that I would be a better mom to my baby if I eased my anxiety. So I stopped breastfeeding and started taking my Klonopin and felt much calmer. Just the decision to not breastfeed anymore took a big load off. I applaud you wanting to breastfeed your baby and I say go for it to women who can successfully do it, but some of us are just not cut out for it and that So if you need to take your medication and switch to bottle feeding your baby, you shouldn Your baby can sense when your anxious and will respond to that. I would say it would be better for your baby to be on a bottle with you calm and soothing rather than breastfeeding and you tensed up. Ya know? I wish you well whatever you decide.

My depression has run rampant. My kids dad is a jerk and never [2007-04-10]
takes responsibility. He When I asked my ex about it, he just said MY kids are brats. I left the jerk because of his out of control drinking and believe me, he is a VERY angry drunk. The sick thing about him is when he calls me and tries to lure me back when I know he Of course, he My doctor gave me some ativan to take, but I I guess because of how it will make me feel and being around the kids.

I was in your [2007-03-21]
Get to doctor. Try something like a small dose of Xanax. It should help relieve the anxiety that causes stress. Believe me it works. Some days I do not need it, but at least I have a safety net when I do. My anxiety escalated into a full blown breakdown. I would not suggest you let this happen. It is hard to come back from that, but the low dosage Xanax will help. Talk to your doctor. Explain what is going on. Good luck - I it is not pretty, but I sought help.

I had a panic attack about 3 weeks ago... [2007-03-21]
I ended up taking an ambulance ride at 3 in the morning. By the time the baby aspirin and3 nitro sprays hadn My family doctor agreed even though they told me it was musculoskeletal in the ER and gave me IV Toradol and sent me home once my chest x-ray, D-dimer and EKGs were normal. My MD gave me Klonopin and I have been taking 0.25 mg at night and have been doing well on it.He told me to take 1/2 or 1 tablet t.i.d., but 1/2 a tablet made me so sleepy during the day (especially since he also had me cut back on my caffeine) that I stuck to the 1/2 a tab at bedtime. I had no idea how common panic/anxiety was until people heard about my midnight ride and started talking about their own situations. It was definitely not anything I want to repeat if I can help it at all.