I think I'll try the B12... couldnt hurt (sm)

I think I'll try the B12... couldnt hurt (sm) [2007-08-22]
thanks for responding Jan and N. I Have a blessed night!

I'll let you all know sm [2007-07-04]
I ordered a copy of the full medical version finally, out of desperation. There is a new version out and I spoke to a couple consultants about what I plan to do. It's this or no job, so I'll try it.

social anxiety [2008-09-20]
I'll third that. The original poster described me to a T. I've always been shy and reticent around people, but since I started working at home 15 years ago it's gotten 100 times worse. I'm a hermit now, also. I know I have a genetic tendency toward this, but I believe the less time spent with people the less comfortable I am with them. It's a matter of keeping those social muscles exercised.

Opposite with me [2008-01-17]
I used to feel that way when I worked outside the house - some days I could barely face going to work because of all the people. Now that I rarely see anyone, I find that I actually enjoy talking to clerks and people watching when I get out. I think in my case its a control factor - now I can control who I see and when, and what they can demand of me - which was impossible with an outside job. Hopefully you Not everyoneisborn to be a social butterfly. Try to analyze exactly what you are avoiding, and why, and maybe you'll find an answer.

The holidays are very hard for me, Christmas [2007-12-09]
especially. Both of my parents are deceased, as well as both of my DH parents. My siblings were toxic so after my parents died I ended any relationship with them. My mom used to put like 5000 lights on the tree. She hand placed each light, didn I can I have a total meltdown every year over the tree lights. I have one son who is leaving the nest next year and this is his last Christmas at home. I have another son who wants a tree with lights and all the other traditions, so it is important this year to do those. Right now I I will help decorate later. I feel horrible that I can't participate more, but no matter how much I want to I just can't. We haven We save all year for Christmas and no matter how I feel about we weren We are able to provide them with some of their wishes, though since they are older their wishes cost more, so only a couple of presents each under the tree. I have bought stuff to make cookies/treats but haven I will do some this week, but only plan on making 2 or 3 things and I My oldest is busy with school and work and dating, but he will be involved too, whether he wants to or not - LOL. I know it is hard, but try to find something to make it special. We started a tradition a few years ago. We have an outdoor mall that is pretty wide spread and they have a tram that looks like a trolly car from San Francisco that has several stops. We go and ride it around, most of the time not even shopping, just there to ride the tram, and then we have lunch. It is nippy and the tram has Christmas music playing and we can see lots of decorations, and we have conversations with complete strangers. Money is very tight this year due to the fact I haven't had much work the last 3 months, so lunch is probably out, but we will still ride the tram. There are lots of organizations to help those less fortunate. You could make coupons to give them to exchange for a gift when times are better. You could make them something special, maybe make each one a fleece blanket. They have many prints available and you might could find remnants large enough to work for just a couple of dollars. The first Christmas after my mother died I laid on the floor and bawled. I I didn I was able to pull myself up and get through the holiday, but not until the last 3 or 4 days before. I spent a lot of time away from my children taking care of my parents and I don I want them to have good memories of the holidays, even if there wasn Check your local Freecycle for possible gifts. I give away my children CraigsList is another place to try. Maybe just buying a plainn sweatshirt and personalizing it in some way, using paint to right their name, or sewing on appliques. When you go to bed tonight tell yourself that tomorrow will be a better day and strive to make it so. If you don't get outside enough make an extra effort to go outside tomorrow, even if you just spend 15 minutes walking around the yard or sitting on your porch. If you need help ask for it, whether it be for material things or asking a medical professional.

I don't cut but I know what it is like to be sad (sm) [2007-10-03]
I just want to say I'm sorry too that you are having such a hard time. Even though I don't physically hurt myself, I know I do other self-destructive things that hurt me in other ways. I am taking an antidepressant but think I may be bipolar, but I am trying to avoid being diagnosed with that. Just don't want it to be true. I have felt sad all day today and I just keep searching frantically for something that will make me feel better. I just want to say I am sorry you feel bad, for whatever reason, and I hope you feel better soon. Take care.

Fascinating! [2007-09-29]
Here I am, it I just read what you and ER-MT posted and it A few months ago I had a meltdown and just had to get away. I went into the woods for a good 2 hours and just sat and listened and watched pretty much nothing except for some birds. I hate the thought of taking any medication because I have control over it 90% of the time...but that darned 10% of feeling out of control is a bummer when it does hit, and it I really hate the thought of any mental health issues being put in my medical record as well. I see a doctor maybe once every few years for a physical and only go if something is broken or needs suturing. I hate doctors--especially the ones up here in Maine. Itreated by an veterinarian. I actually had to turn my phone off this week because I Sheand she Thanks for the book recommendation. I'll have to check it out and see if there are any good tips for coping with it all.

Thanks sm [2007-09-28]
It I was beginning to wonder if I was just anti-social! I love being alone in the woods, the peace and quiet and solitude re-charges my batteries but being in crowds, I get all nervous and the heart starts pounding. UGH! IThanks.

I had this exact problem. Went and [2007-09-28]
had the physical (nothing wrong). Get enough sleep at night. But could NOT make it through my work schedule w/o several naps, which, of course, seriously hurt my production. I have never been a coffee drinker in the past, but I started drinking one cup of coffee about 2 hours after awakening and since then haven't felt the need to take naps. I even think it has helped with other problems I had been having, like headaches. Now, I know this may not work for everyone, but I just wanted to let you know what worked for me. Couldn't hurt to give it a try. Research says 1 cup of coffee per day is actually healthful. You just have to find the right amount for you (2 cups is overboard for me--I stay up TOO long). And the right time to take it. Now, even on my days off I drink 1 cup because I just feel better all day. Keep taking care of yourself, eat right, get some exercise. Since you had a physical and know there is nothing medically causing your fatigue, coffee could be the thing that works for you, too!

If you do a search for Cymbalta on google, you will see literally sm [2007-09-27]
thousands of people who became suicidal after taking it for a while because it is a highly addictive drug. Then they would get on it again, and then get off and feel horrible about themselves. I read post after post (because it was prescribed for me, too) about how people wish they NEVER started taking it. If I can find the link I'll post it. Stay away from it.

I had a similar exp. w/Wellbutrin...sm [2007-09-27]
I too only took *1* dose, and couldn Honestly, it was a good 2 weeks before I felt mostly back to normal, and several weeks longer before I felt completely back to normal. It was awful. The Wellbutrin made me feel sort of like I had the flu in many ways, and very dizzy, but there were other bizarre things too, likethe smell of coffee (which I love) and the smell of many other things,made me feel sosick and nauseous. I was also crying at first, but not really feeling sad, just sort of like the tears were leaking out for no reason. Strange! I told my doctor about it right away. (I called her office, cause I halfway thought I was dying!), and she didn She jotted something in my chart about the Wellbutrin causing I asked her if I was allergic to it, and she said no, not allergic, just an adverse reaction (I I felt like telling her to but in my record that I AM allergic to it, just to be safe. So long story short, 1 pill can make you very sick if you have a bad reaction to it, and you Hope you

Just a thought (sm) [2007-09-19]
I'll share my story and although daytime sleepiness can be caused by a number of things, maybe this will help. I used to wake up after 7 hours of sleep and 3 hours later, I could barely keep my eyes open. I was told that I snored during the night. I talked to my doc and had a sleep study done. Turns out that I have moderate to severe sleep apnea and was not getting the deep sleep I needed. Now that I have CPAP, I'm at least able to get out of bed in the morning. I still suffer from the hypersomnolence, but I'm doing much better. Do a Google search on hypersomnolence and/or daytime sleepiness. There is a ton of info out there, and it may help when talking to your doc. I know all too well the feeling of falling asleep while typing a report! Good luck - I hope you can figure it out and get it resolved. Let us know how you are doing.

I remember a doctor once saying [2007-09-08]
that usually when a patient thinks they are depressed, they are. With my depression I don't want to exist. I don't want to kill myself, I just wish I was never born. I want to escape the ugly side of the world. Fortunately my temptation is not to escape into alcohol or illicit drugs, but into sleep, or at least television or a book. I tend to stay up late at night though, dreading going to bed because then I'll have to get up and face another day. I have no direction, nothing interests me or excites me. I don't care to see people and certainly don't want to hear about all the terrible things happening in the world that I have no control over. How are you feeling?

Concerned about my 9 y/o son ... sm [2007-09-07]
My 9 y/o son is a wonderful kid. Ever since he was a baby, though, he He I make him go to school. He tells me that nothing is going on at school to scare him (bullys or mean teacher) but he says he thinks his classroom is too crowded and that the kids are noisy (there I don When do you know if it needs medical attention? Like today is Grandparent He has three grandparents going. He says he doesn I told him that it I He doesn (not like me and the 5 y/o are yelling cause my hubby works midnights, we have to be quiet). So I guess I There have been no traumatic cases in our family. He has all his grandparents, his dad and I are married (have been for 13 years), we don The counselor at school tried talking to him last year and he doesn He Thanks for listening. I'm just kinda confused.

re: afternoon fatigue [2007-08-31]
I just bought this new vitamin by One A Day, All Day Energy and I am hoping it will help me through the entire day. I usually crash about 2:00 pm and find it hard to keep going. I think this is a time release vitamin so it is supposed to help throughout the day! We'll see!!!

I think I'll try the B12... couldnt hurt (sm) [2007-08-22]
thanks for responding Jan and N. I Have a blessed night!

No, it's not just you! [2007-08-18]
I'm starting school next week. Wonder if I'll make friends there or not. Probably most people will be too busy and/or stressed out, but we shall see.

I'll let you all know sm [2007-07-04]
I ordered a copy of the full medical version finally, out of desperation. There is a new version out and I spoke to a couple consultants about what I plan to do. It's this or no job, so I'll try it.

BEATS YODA [2007-07-04]
Ahh, umm, is better than listening to Yoda who states, Fine, is the patient, she stated. I could live with that, but he goes on and on for 12 minutes with more of the same and worse. I knew I should have found a way to pay for medical school. That would have been hard, but not asoverwhelming as feeling tired and listening to Yoda. Maybe we

seeking advice [2007-07-03]
I see this isn't a very frequently used board, but I'll put this here in case someone sees it. I've been an MT for quite a few years. Not only has my job has become unbearable due to admin changes, but I also now have CTS that's so bad that I can't even write anymore. I have crappy insurance, so I can't afford my deductible for surgery, but I also can't afford the time away from work for surgery anyway. To top it off, my supervisor has made it clear to me repeatedly (I have written proof) that I am utterly incompetent, and has used many, many words to describe my character as well as my ability to do my work. I have OFFERED for this person to terminate me, and they do not want to. I don't understand this at all. I don't quit because I need money too badly and, honestly, there is no other job I can do at this point, given my hands. I have just about no life. My work is very difficult (or else this supervisor is right and I'm incompetent), the quality of dictators is poor, and I have to cancel out of commitments constantly because my work gets in the way. Part of it is probably extreme burnout, but part is also due to working very slowly with CTS and also just simply struggling with about 80% or more ESL dictators. I don I don't have any friends or family. I am self supporting. So, I'm finding myself struggling with depression. Therapy? Meds? Not covered by insurance. I'd love some feedback about what other people would do in this situation. I'm pretty scared.

Thank you. sm [2007-07-03]
I actually am an IC already. I have a unique situation, having to report to someone else. I get frustrated because I do try to attend club meetings, etc., to try to meet people, but constantly have to cancel out due to either more work coming in or sometimes just getting really difficult work in the first place (the stuff others skip over on the system at a large hospital is often what comes to me). This feels like a hamster wheel LOL! Not sure where to attack the problem from. It's encouraging to hear that the generic meds are more affordable like that. Thank you. I do think youin my face, I most certainly am feeling depressed. Honestly, all things considered, I'd love to get out of MT because it just, um, doesn't do it for me. Maybe I'll take a bubble bath tonight. Thank you for reminding me to be kind to myself!

Some suggestions. [2007-07-03]
I see so many typist that have a lot of problems that are caused by improper ergonomics. Don I have been typing for 25+ years now. I had problems1 time with carpal tunnel, bought the wrist splints and put them on at night and when not typing, took Aleve and applied ice. When mine flares up I do this and I am fine. (I am lucky with that I know.) I do get tennis elbow alot where that ligament behind your elbow, to the inside, or the ulnar nerve, gets iflammed and hurts like heck, but I ice that too. I remember a Health nurse at a hospital I worked at one time coming buy and telling someone that I was the only one she had ever seen that typed in an ergonomically correct position. I have had friends who slump over or slide way down in thier chairs or are too high or too low and they are always hurting. I certainly don The attached URL gives some good info.It might take some getting used to but it's worth the try. I moved about 3 years ago and have not been happy with where I have my desk or the type of desk it is. For 2 years I went back and forth to Dr. with pain in my left chest above my breast, not heart pain. Kept giving me EKGs, etc, I said, it hurts in the muscle/bone and straight through to back. Sometimes it would swaps sides. Put me on Xanax, Flexeril and Reglan 4 times a day. Who could type like that. I did not hurt because I was sleeping all the time! One day I bought a new keyboard rest and I swear to pete it quit in 3 minutes. All those steroid injections and I cured myself for 5 bucks. If my keyboard is not straight or in this case, one of those that slides around, it kills my shoulders, elbows or wrist. Finally got one with rubber feet that does not slide. One time I hot glued it to the desk! If I were you I would find somewhere else to work as in another company. Kicking someone when they are down just depresses you more. You need some positive reinforcement. I have a local facilitythatpays more and is closer, but I flat refuse to work there because of one smart mouth that works there and admin. refused to do anything about her. They have lost good employees because of it. But if it causes me more stress than good the heck with it. Life is too short. Being happy with coworkers will improve your productivity too.

thanks for all the input... sm [2007-07-03]
I appreciate this long message! I totally agree... I think people don't realize how they do or don't sit and goodness knows what else they do while they're working! I'm sure I have some sloppy habits that need attention, but in the meantime... owie!!!! I gotta do something immediately. IOTC that can be done. I bought a new desk. I bought a new chair. I just basically have CTS. ;-) The problem has been attributed, at least in my case, to an anatomical brachial plexus suffocation, for lack of a better term. (I can can only tell you what I've been told) However, I've been told that even with surgery, the problem will just recur because of this. I TOTALLY agree about being kicked by someone else. I'm looking to just finally get out of MT, but of course I need a paycheck in the meantime. And... I'm sorry, but I think CTS SHOULD count as a disability. Tell anyone with this problem that it is not disabling, and they'll probably crack you over the head with their metal splints. Thanks again for all your input. And I'll be sure to check out that link.