The holidays are very hard for me, Christmas

The holidays are very hard for me, Christmas [2007-12-09]
especially. Both of my parents are deceased, as well as both of my DH parents. My siblings were toxic so after my parents died I ended any relationship with them. My mom used to put like 5000 lights on the tree. She hand placed each light, didn I can I have a total meltdown every year over the tree lights. I have one son who is leaving the nest next year and this is his last Christmas at home. I have another son who wants a tree with lights and all the other traditions, so it is important this year to do those. Right now I I will help decorate later. I feel horrible that I can't participate more, but no matter how much I want to I just can't. We haven We save all year for Christmas and no matter how I feel about we weren We are able to provide them with some of their wishes, though since they are older their wishes cost more, so only a couple of presents each under the tree. I have bought stuff to make cookies/treats but haven I will do some this week, but only plan on making 2 or 3 things and I My oldest is busy with school and work and dating, but he will be involved too, whether he wants to or not - LOL. I know it is hard, but try to find something to make it special. We started a tradition a few years ago. We have an outdoor mall that is pretty wide spread and they have a tram that looks like a trolly car from San Francisco that has several stops. We go and ride it around, most of the time not even shopping, just there to ride the tram, and then we have lunch. It is nippy and the tram has Christmas music playing and we can see lots of decorations, and we have conversations with complete strangers. Money is very tight this year due to the fact I haven't had much work the last 3 months, so lunch is probably out, but we will still ride the tram. There are lots of organizations to help those less fortunate. You could make coupons to give them to exchange for a gift when times are better. You could make them something special, maybe make each one a fleece blanket. They have many prints available and you might could find remnants large enough to work for just a couple of dollars. The first Christmas after my mother died I laid on the floor and bawled. I I didn I was able to pull myself up and get through the holiday, but not until the last 3 or 4 days before. I spent a lot of time away from my children taking care of my parents and I don I want them to have good memories of the holidays, even if there wasn Check your local Freecycle for possible gifts. I give away my children CraigsList is another place to try. Maybe just buying a plainn sweatshirt and personalizing it in some way, using paint to right their name, or sewing on appliques. When you go to bed tonight tell yourself that tomorrow will be a better day and strive to make it so. If you don't get outside enough make an extra effort to go outside tomorrow, even if you just spend 15 minutes walking around the yard or sitting on your porch. If you need help ask for it, whether it be for material things or asking a medical professional.

Absolutely - sm [2008-01-17]
I had the same thing after starting working from home. Three years ago I went back to school, I have to become more sociable and not a hermit. It gets to you after awhile. You don't fit in with those who work outside the home and not with the stay at home moms because you do have a job and hours to work. It is hard, but you can figure out what works for you and go with it.

Lookin forward to January 2nd, myself, [2007-12-11]
I'm not doing anything except write 2 xmas cards, and I don't even seem to be able to do that. Can't afford to buy gifts for anyone on 9 cpl. After I paid my bills when I got my paycheck last week, all I had left over was 49 cents. Guess I'd better not spend it all in one place, huh? Yeah, I like Jan. 2, when life gets back to normal and all the clamor of the holidays is over.

Many people have issues this time of year [2007-12-09]
Statistically suicides, depression and other mental health issue go up at this time of year. What with the financial pressures, shopping stress, gathering with family members you People that have recently lost loved ones or have broken off a relationship usually feel extra bad when reflecting on prior, happier holidays. People that normally don Commercials make you feel sad and inadequate because you can or your coworkers brag on how much they got and you got very little. This season is rough on many people.

The holidays are very hard for me, Christmas [2007-12-09]
especially. Both of my parents are deceased, as well as both of my DH parents. My siblings were toxic so after my parents died I ended any relationship with them. My mom used to put like 5000 lights on the tree. She hand placed each light, didn I can I have a total meltdown every year over the tree lights. I have one son who is leaving the nest next year and this is his last Christmas at home. I have another son who wants a tree with lights and all the other traditions, so it is important this year to do those. Right now I I will help decorate later. I feel horrible that I can't participate more, but no matter how much I want to I just can't. We haven We save all year for Christmas and no matter how I feel about we weren We are able to provide them with some of their wishes, though since they are older their wishes cost more, so only a couple of presents each under the tree. I have bought stuff to make cookies/treats but haven I will do some this week, but only plan on making 2 or 3 things and I My oldest is busy with school and work and dating, but he will be involved too, whether he wants to or not - LOL. I know it is hard, but try to find something to make it special. We started a tradition a few years ago. We have an outdoor mall that is pretty wide spread and they have a tram that looks like a trolly car from San Francisco that has several stops. We go and ride it around, most of the time not even shopping, just there to ride the tram, and then we have lunch. It is nippy and the tram has Christmas music playing and we can see lots of decorations, and we have conversations with complete strangers. Money is very tight this year due to the fact I haven't had much work the last 3 months, so lunch is probably out, but we will still ride the tram. There are lots of organizations to help those less fortunate. You could make coupons to give them to exchange for a gift when times are better. You could make them something special, maybe make each one a fleece blanket. They have many prints available and you might could find remnants large enough to work for just a couple of dollars. The first Christmas after my mother died I laid on the floor and bawled. I I didn I was able to pull myself up and get through the holiday, but not until the last 3 or 4 days before. I spent a lot of time away from my children taking care of my parents and I don I want them to have good memories of the holidays, even if there wasn Check your local Freecycle for possible gifts. I give away my children CraigsList is another place to try. Maybe just buying a plainn sweatshirt and personalizing it in some way, using paint to right their name, or sewing on appliques. When you go to bed tonight tell yourself that tomorrow will be a better day and strive to make it so. If you don't get outside enough make an extra effort to go outside tomorrow, even if you just spend 15 minutes walking around the yard or sitting on your porch. If you need help ask for it, whether it be for material things or asking a medical professional.

On both sides of my family (sm) [2007-12-06]
we are now not doing adult gift exchanges anymore. Up until this year we picked names to buy for, but this year no adult gift exchange. The main reason is that some members have so much more than others, and some are trying to decrease the amount of stuff they have. I've always been against adult family gift exchanges because it's so hard to buy anything that is actually useful. I know other people who think it's hilarious to buy dud gifts every year. Like they buy a Chia Pet for one family member every year. That's one way to fill our landfills faster.

I am so sorry [2007-10-09]
You are going through this. I have done this MANY times in the past and was ashamed and didn't realize others had the same problem. What I am concerned about is why the doctors sent you home without a 3-day psychiatric hold. Being bipolar is really hard but look at it this way...You have lived through a lot of hard times and there are good times in between...we just have to ride the bad ones out and do our best to reach out to others who understand what we are going through when we cycle like this. You are okay and you are NORMAL...you have a treatable disease. Anyone who criticizes you has no idea what you have gone through and that it is not at all for attention. UHHHHHH....I just hate when people think it is a big pity party but it is not. I have sooooo been there many times, honey. I wish I could help you through this. Take a nice warm bath (well...it has been a few days now and I am sure if you are like me and when in my low slump I don't keep up on the hygiene) and watch a few comedies and call some dear friends...Imaging the bath washing away all the pain and let that pain go down the drain when you get out. Hugs to you...Get better soon!

Relapses [2007-10-03]
I don't expect that many people on here will be able to relate to my problem. I'm bipolar and I've been struggling with some crazy cycling lately. I'd been trying really hard to keep myself held together. But after a year of abstaining, I relapsed into self-injury tonight, and just got home from a very long and trying evening in the ER, with several dozen stitches to show for my trouble. I am sad, I am disappointed, I am discouraged, I am frustrated, I am ashamed. Please...just someone say something kind? Please don't criticize me for what I've done. Believe me, I've already heard it all.

I don't cut but I know what it is like to be sad (sm) [2007-10-03]
I just want to say I'm sorry too that you are having such a hard time. Even though I don't physically hurt myself, I know I do other self-destructive things that hurt me in other ways. I am taking an antidepressant but think I may be bipolar, but I am trying to avoid being diagnosed with that. Just don't want it to be true. I have felt sad all day today and I just keep searching frantically for something that will make me feel better. I just want to say I am sorry you feel bad, for whatever reason, and I hope you feel better soon. Take care.

re: afternoon fatigue [2007-08-31]
I just bought this new vitamin by One A Day, All Day Energy and I am hoping it will help me through the entire day. I usually crash about 2:00 pm and find it hard to keep going. I think this is a time release vitamin so it is supposed to help throughout the day! We'll see!!!

volunteer or get an easy PT job to meet people (sm) [2007-08-25]
Do you have children or can you get an easy evening PT job? Or volunteer at a hospital maybe? There is also a website called exercisefriends.com where you can meet people to walk with, etc. I met one of my best friends through there a couple of years ago. Get job at a mall in the Orange Julius shop just for the heck of it. Book a trip with a group - look online for your area - there are group trips planned all the time. Church is definitely an option. Call some of your married friends and tell them that you know they may feel awkward about inviting you to go out with them, but you are inviting them - invite them to go somewhere with you. It is awkward for people who knew you as a couple. They are probably afraid of making you feel uncomfortable. So if you reach out to them, it will be much easier for them. I'm so sorry for your loss by the way :-( I know it must be so hard.

My own mental health issues. [2007-08-18]
Short background. I am 32 years old. I am married, have 2 kids ages 5 and 2 and work FT. Is this a mental health issue when a person appears to be spaced out. What is happening is that I will have a conversation with someone and when the conversation is over and already started on the next one, my mind doesn�t really shut down and I will be still thinking about what was said in the previous conversation that I don�t hear what was said in the next. I don�t know if that makes sense or not. Or another example, I will be thinking of something like what I want to do, about a previous conversation I had and someone will call me and I will be so deep in thought I cannot hear the person calling. I do this daily. I have been bad about this all my life but when something is bothering me it is 100% worse. It always affected my schoolwork and it also affects my job and relationships. I try to control myself but I have failed. Mom thinks I am have epileptic seizures and needs to see a neurologist. I don�t think it is seizures. Also, I think I must be suffering some kind of mental health issue where I will just be sitting and all of the sudden I will get so mad. No one has said or done anything to provoke it, but I will start thinking about something and get so mad, start rubbing my head and get the urge to kick something hard or toss something across the room or scream at the top of my lungs. Lately, people say I perceive things wrong. Mom says she is worried about the safety of my kids because of this that I described and told me I needed to get some sort of help. I accused her of calling me unfit. She said no, she thinks there is a short circuit somewhere. Then I said oh so I am crazy, she said no your getting it all wrong. Right now I cannot speak to mom without getting into an argument and a huge meltdown on my part. To tell the truth I have been worried too. 10 years ago, I was never this way. I have always been spacey but this anger is new. Use to if I had a bad run-in with someone, for example, I would think oh well tomorrow is another day, no big deal. Now, I will dwell on it and dwell on it until I just want to yank that persons hair out or kick them in the face of whatever. (I haven�t yet gotten physical with anyone yet). I don�t understand what has gotten into me. When my kids cross me when I am having one of these episodes, I have managed to just go to another room, count to 10 but there has been a few times I have screamed at them from the top of my lungs and then later think �oh crap� that was unnecessary. I secretly worry about my kids too. I called my PCP and I have an appointment set up for Monday. I sure hope she can help. Maybe this is just a lack of self-discipline on my part. I have tried but just don�t know how to control it or make this horrible feeling I get inside me just stop. It is so hard for me to get anything done. I try to get myself to do house work, I manage to pick clothes up off the floor and into the hamper. Then, I start to feel tired and quit although, I am far from being finished with my housework. This is so unlike me. Used to I would get things done and ready to go have some fun. Not anymore.

I have that same thing where my mind [2007-08-18]
gets stuck on something and I miss the next thing. I notice it most when watching the news. I keep thinking about the last story and suddenly realize the next story is important, and by then it's over! I think your PMD is a good place to start to get labs and all. Could turn out to be something with your thyroid or something. But if it is determined that you need an antidepressant, I have heard, and finally followed the advice, that an actual psychiatrist knows a lot more about the meds than a GP/FP/IM. Do not agree to start Effexor, for instance. Psychiatrists call it Side-Effectsor because of all the side effects. Cymbalta is much better if that is the type of drug you need. Cymbalta and one other - possibly Lexapro, but I'm not positive - are the 2 that are most effective for depression and the most patients are able to stay on. Prozac is very popular, but it can cause severe apathy. When I was on it I was WADING through laundry. Talk about depressing, LOL. You can feel better, so don't give up. Only you can see this through to a solution, which is really hard to do when you are feeling low, but it's worth it.

Just don't give up [2007-08-16]
Whatever you do. Keep praying and God will lead you. I dealt with anxiety for so many years and dealt with loneliness as well it comes with the territory sometimes in this profession. Yes I agree it can be hard to make friends in this world but church can also help with that as well. Have fun and good luck with things!

Thinking of running, too [2007-08-14]
You obviously have an on-the-job injury. Have you ever worked as an employee with a company or has everything been IC? I would contact your local work hardening program and a county health program. I would also contact social security if you have been paying into social security - and apply for disability. My problems are both physical and mental - and from my 15 years of experience, I have not met an MT that did not have something wrong with them physically and/or mentally. My prayers are with you. Just don't start drinking. An MT friend of mine does that and she is now without a job - in and out of jail - and it's just a really hard existence - leave the field before it kills you. It's not worth it.

Widows [2007-08-13]
Are there any other young widows out there? My husband died suddenly of a massive MI 2 years ago and I am still having a hard time coping. I am only 44, and I was not expecting to have to deal with all of this at my age. One of the things I figured out fairly quickly was that I cannot work at home alone, so I have returned to school for nursing. However, I am very lonely. Our friends, all still happily married couples, rarely think to include me in outings anymore, and I am not sure where to meet new friends my own age. I just want someone I can call and say let's go shopping or get some lunch. I actually dread weekends because I know I will be sitting here alone. I am very outgoing, and have tried various venues to meet people including school and the gym. I talk to people every where I go, but still no one to hang with. Does anyone have any suggestions for me? PS: I should state that I went throgh grief counseling which was very helpful in that they old me everything I was feeling was normal, and I was not going crazy, but that doesn't help with the loneliness.

More for struggling [2007-07-05]
You don They are usually listed in the yellow or business pages of your phone book. The cost is very low and something possibly can be free. I think this could be someone who would address and give you some help with your current situtation. I know you are depressed and when you are depressed it is hard to get going, but I think you need to do something about this and we are all here to help you. JMD

BEATS YODA [2007-07-04]
Ahh, umm, is better than listening to Yoda who states, Fine, is the patient, she stated. I could live with that, but he goes on and on for 12 minutes with more of the same and worse. I knew I should have found a way to pay for medical school. That would have been hard, but not asoverwhelming as feeling tired and listening to Yoda. Maybe we

problem [2007-03-27]
I have the same problem. My biggest thing is mood swings. I have the panic attacks to but with nursing my baby it is hard to take my Xanax when needed. I am afraid of hurting her. She is only 8 months.

I was in your [2007-03-21]
Get to doctor. Try something like a small dose of Xanax. It should help relieve the anxiety that causes stress. Believe me it works. Some days I do not need it, but at least I have a safety net when I do. My anxiety escalated into a full blown breakdown. I would not suggest you let this happen. It is hard to come back from that, but the low dosage Xanax will help. Talk to your doctor. Explain what is going on. Good luck - I it is not pretty, but I sought help.