WHERE DOES YOU CHILDREN GO TO COLLEGE sm
Posted By: COLLEGE POLL on 2006-05-30
In Reply to:
Maybe our children go to the same college.
I will start
One daughter goes to Sacred Heart University in Connecticut. The other daughter will be going to UMass at Amerst in the fall.
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You don't owe your children a college education at all.
My personal advice to my own children was/is this: As long as you want to invest your effort and energy, I will help you past high school in getting an education.
If you stay home while you attend and keep good grades, I will provide your transportation, you can live here rent-free, eat here, and we will work together to make sure you have all your college expenses paid for and have some pocket money.
If you choose to live out, as long as I see you are keeping your grades, I will give you a limited set amount of financial aid.
However, if you feel I owe it to you or you fail to respect my effort to assist you, then you are on your own.
I also tied their inheritance to their achievements. The more they do for themselves and the higher the education, the greater the percentage of their inheritance. If they felt it wasn't necessary to prepare themselves now, don't count on my estate assisting them later.
It is hard to let them make these mistakes sometimes but the more painful it is for them, the quicker they learn. Doesn't take but touching the hot stove once for a kid to realize I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN!!
I do this job with young children around and neither my job nor children have suffered...
It can be done...
Both of my children, now 23 and 24,
bought their own cars and neither of them had a new car. I don't think it hurt them, either. They both were proud of the fact that they did buy their own cars and I was proud of them, too.
Wow that's a lot! We have 4 children and
we probably will not spend that much on all 4 of them. Glad you can afford it.
May you and your children have the
Merriest Christmas ever! As the Christmas carol sings "God is NOT dead nor doth He sleep." I am so happy your children will have Santa Claus this Christmas, and that you feel loved!! That's what Christmas is all about. I thank you... Merry Blessed Christmas to ALL!
I have 5 children and have had many a
I agree, something for myself would have been neat. My absolute favorite thing was when someone brought me something special, like something they made or had made for my baby. Those are really the things I remember when thinking back on my showers, and the things I still have today.
32/F, three children
x
And what did your children get?
x
I definitely think having children has something
Does she have other children who can help
relieve some of the care? Does her insurance pay for ANY nursing care? I know what you mean. We were all on shifts as well. Is there a GOOD home she could go to? Even one that isn't a nursing home per se, but adult foster care? My grandmother lived in one. It was very nice and had less than 10 residents and people with various types of needs lived there. My aunts and uncles decided to do this (it was self pay) because they figured if she lived with any one child, that the responsibility probably wouldn't end up being shared by all, and this way they were all responsible for her even though she lived separately from them. Is there a hospice/nursing agency that can offer free or cheap respite care? How about through their church? Even if they could get an evening or a few hours away together, that's a start. They need to preserve their marriage too.
think of your own children if you have any....sm
Would you want them to have to care for you? All I want for my children is to be happy. I would never want to put that burden on them and, believe me, it is a burden regardless of how you feel about your parents. Caring for an ILL elderly parent can be a nightmare. Caring for an elderly parent is totally different. I've had to do both and, BTW, so did my parents. My mother, when in her 50's, now 92, made me promise to never try to have her live with me. I have done the same with my children. I do everything I can to help her including bringing her to my home to care for her when she is ill or has had recovery from surgeries. I don't think the "Waltons" is a realistic plan in this day and age. If you want to destroy your marriage and stress your children, move your parents into your home.
If you have children under a certain age...
...you can be excused for years from jury duty by submitting a copy of their birth certificates to the court.
Currently, I'm a single parent with 2 kids in elementary school. I have been excused from jury duty twice now; once when I lived in PA and both kids were just babies and again recently excused from serving or being called to serve here in NY for a few more years by submitting a copy of the birth certificate.
The courts will not force a primary caregiver with minor child(ren) to serve as long as you provide them a copy of the birth certificate.
I would think this also applies to anyone who is a sole caregiver of a chronically ill or elderly family member, but you would have to call your courthouse to find out for sure.
We are not children and by that I mean...
we don't have to go crying to the moderator whenever we feel someone is being mean. I think MT30+'s biggest sin is she's just blunt. Personally, I appreciate straight forward people. I don't have time to pick through all the fat to get to the meat. And, of course, I am one of the blunt people.
I think some need to simply grow up. You can't spend your life kissing your perceived boo boos and tattling on the "bullies." Momma always said the only way to get rid of a bully, is to stand your ground and take your lumps. And don't hold a grudge. Just move on.
I'm in college myself ...
Do you have an undergraduate bulletin from the U? If not, GET ONE TODAY. Look at the degree programs. He must pick out a major and register and be assigned an Academic Advisor first.
Make sure he fills out his FASFA anyway and has it sent to the university. Just because you make $40K does not mean he should not qualify for grants or scholarships whatsoever. I don't know who told you that or if you just are assuming that, but it is not true.
A university has many, MANY avenues for financial aid. He will be assigned a financial aid counselor and you need to call up there right now, TODAY (if he is planning on attending this fall semester in about 5 weeks) and go talk to the immediately. Do you know the FASFA website? Have you filled it out? You MUST fill it out, it will be processed and sent to the university, then they will send him an award letter and you can go from there.
Now, student loans are not bad debt at all. It is an investment in your future. Just make sure you are borrowing responsibly an amount that can be paid back easily. As well, it will not hurt him one bit to pay his own student loans back and/or you pay just part of them. He should have to be payint and investing in his OWN future.
He probably needs to find a part-time job, period. Nothing wrong with that. It will teach him discipline and show you whether he is serious about an education or not. If he has registered already (and he should have if he is attending this fall ... if he hasn't and wants to go, REGISTER TODAY)...you know when his classes are and he can hit the pavement today on finding a part-time job.
You've have a bad experience as far as academic counseling at the junior college -- at least from your description, I would call that near idiocy. At the U, he will have to claim a major and it should have a sports program so that should not be a problem. Do NOT---NOT---NOT---NOT just "put him in a major". This is his education. It must be what HE wants.
There's not a lot you can do until you:
1) Fill out that FASFA and process it
2) Call the U, physically go in with your son and see a Financial Aid Advisor
3) Register, see your Academic Advisor and get your classes
If I can help you in anyway, let me know.
I had it in college
I went for PT - they did u/s and massage and heat application. Also, I received medication via (I am going to get this wrong I think) iontophoresis.
I had to change the way I held my food trays (I was a waitress) and do some exercises with a one pound weight.
It resolved with cessation of what was causing the problem in the first place. Every so often it comes close to flaring back up if I am not careful. Now my big problem is mild tendinitis in my thumb .
I never needed surgery though I have heard some people do if it gets really bad.
Did they do the Finklestein test (is that what its called?) on you to dx it? Its where they have you make a fist and then they flex your wrist down. I yelped and almost kicked the dr!
Good luck.
What did you go to college for? nM
x
I was in college before
I attended college off and on from 1989 - 1997. It will only take me a year to complete what I started.
college or not (I did) - what you do....sm
What a person does for their entire lifetime is a career, a profession. Some of us went to college, some graduated, some never went to college. Who cares? I spent 27 years doing this so yep, it has become my profession......worked Wall Street for 3 years in the 60s-70s, well that was my profession at the time (decade). Worked restaurants as a kitchen manager for 5 years - that was my profession during those 5 years and what a chef I am....*LOL*
Worked in a major teaching hospital for 10 years PRIOR to doing full-time MT work.....so yep - the medical profession is my profession and I'm a paraprofessional !!!
Dream on..........
For College - sm
You may want to check with the school. At FSU, your laptop needs to have specific programs/capabilities if you want to take it to class with you to use in class, and also to download from their blackboard on the internet.
My tech also agrees Toshibas are the best and I was lucky that the Toshiba was compatible with many of the requirements.
college or not
I graduated in 2004 with an Associate Degree in Medical Office Administration, Office Systems Technology, when I was 18 yrs. old I went to nursing school and then worked a few years as an LPN. I don't regret my college or degrade college in any way, but, most employers want an experienced MT but won't give anyone a chance to prove that someone just starting out can do the job.I am now 50 years old, taking care of my disabled husband and CAN NOT get a job at home working as a medical transcriptionist, and can't afford to take the extra tutoring that some suggest. I would just like a chance to make a living, not a bunch of money, just enough to pay my bills.
They are not gone...they just went to college--sm
They will be around more than you think....when they need money...when they need their laundry done...and, of course, holidays. They will miss you too, I am sure. You won't be nearly as lonely as you think you are going to be. lol
College
I have 2 kids in college, one I helped on the front end and because of this career, one I will have to help on the back end (meaning help him pay off his loans while he is in school instead of giving him money up front). The Stafford loans have very low interest rates right now, the rates went down. I live in Western NY and there are 2 MT jobs that I know of at one hospital. The other hospitals don't have inhouse transcriptionists. One uses a service (used to be my competitor) and they are giving all new residents laptops for EMR and the other gave all their doctors laptops 2 years ago. I'm tired of MTing to be honest, 10-12 hour days, 7 days a week, first as MTSO as qualified people were hard to come by and then because either the service didn't pay, didn't pay on time or didn't have any work so I have needed to work for more than one. I would love to do anything else.
Thanks - I have 1 in college and 1 soon to be..nm
x
children and nitwits
You still don't get it. No matter how old they get, they are still your children but I no longer have the right to make their decisions for them. If your comprehension was good enough, you would have known that as they left my home and started their own lives, I had no further voice in what they did, but until that day, I did have a voice in what they did as far as consequences of bad decisions is concerned. If I am paying for the roof over your head and the food on the table, I do have a say. And being 18 does not make you an adult, nor does 30 or 80. When your child can make good sound decisions about their life and how their decisions impact on others, then you've done a good job. Your silly little cartoon characters in your messagee show that you do not have a command of the English language and I am done with this discussion because it is too complicated for you to understand. I think you probably had your nose and ears pierced too many times and too deeply.
Not everyone is here to "love" your children. SM
I dont expect day care to "love" my children. Geez. I expect them to care for them and watch them when I cannot be there.
I do have to say, however that the day care my kids are in is a close-knit community. The staff is very friendly and really get involved with each kid individually to some extent. Everybody knows everybody, even though it is a fairly large day care. There is a younger toddler room, an older toddler room, an intermediate room, and a pre-K room. As well as a big room for before-school and after-school programs for the bigger kids.
All of the kids in my children's classes are really close. We all celebrate B-days together and even get invited to Christmas parties and all kinds of nice things. They throw lots of events around the holidays. They even have a mom's night out at the day care once a year. It is like a little community. They have lots of safety speakers coming in and educated the kids on what to do during an emergency. I dont see why my kids would not benefit from being a part of something like this.
It is a great thing to be a part of. They treat you like family. I do understand that not all day cares are the same. I went on a lot of tours of local day cares and I picked this one because I could pick up on the vibe that this was not your oridinary day care. They are just such great people. I can honestly say that I love them all. I love the friends that my kids made and I have grown to love their families and also the teachers. They are all truly a wonderful bunch.
So I don't care for my children because I
choose to work my job. Because I choose to be done with work at 5 and not have to work all night as my children play at my feet. Your absolutely right! That makes me a horrible mother. I mean wanting to give them the social graces, the ability to interact with other children and spend the evening with them without my computer in their face--what a bad mommy I am!
I was trying to be nice. Even to children like you
I was only asking an honest question.
I didn't realize there were children posting on this board.
My son is only 15, but he is fortunate enough to have parents that want to help him so that he will not end up being an eternal bitter child, such as those whose parents obviously haven't bothered to realize that there was a possibilty of their child becoming a total waste of time.
And speaking of wasting time, I'm doing just that. And you should be going upstairs to check on your parents.
I believe it is important for children too..
That does still does not mean that since you made a mistake in your life that you are not entitled to the same rights as everyone else. Could've, should've, would've. We can point fingers and tell people what they should have done, but the fact is, they have rights like everyone else. Of course you tend to do better financially when you do things in the right order. Life does not always work like you want it to though. I myself got pregnant while on BC with a man I had been with for 4 years. I had my son before I got married. We got married when he was less than a month old. He was our only witness. We have since had another child. I have never been on assistance, but I am lucky enough that we have been able to work out our problems and keep our marriage intact. If I could do it all over again, I would have waited, of course. We have struggled quite a bit by having kids so young. Life just doesn't always work out how you want it to though. I want my daughter to get married first and then have children, as do all mothers. Those are things I will teach her too.
Sorry, that should be heard Jen did not want children yet. nm
x
my children are minorities
my children are interracial, black father, white mother. however, they dont know the first thing about Kwanza. They are raised to believe that Christmas is about the birth of Christ.
For children, it's best to let them decide.
It can be healing or traumatic. I do think I'd have her go to the funeral home once, set it up so she only has to be there a short time, help her understand it's time to say goodbye and let go (whether close or not). I've been through a Catholic funeral and don't think I'd force a child to be there. It's good that neither you or DH are forcing one way or the other. Talk with your daughter and help her decide what's really best. Just don't let her hide from the fact that she needs to say goodbye to grandma, close or not.
26 with 2 small children.
.
GOD BLESS YOU with 5 children!!! *S*...nm
x
I am 49, two children (ages 26 and 20). nm
x
I have 5 children, two of which have been babies...
It is not always easy, but you do what you want to do. You will make it work if you try and find out what works best for you. Don't put your baby in daycare just to make it easier on yourself. You can work around the baby!
I smile, say "I don't have children, thanks." nm
I don't think anyone said violence against children was okay...
h
Can I Trade Children - LOL
My daughter is only 12 and it's like pulling teeth to get her to save any money. As soon as she gets some (any amount) it burns a whole in her pocket and boom it's gone. So now I've taken to keeping all the money I give her for her allowance and when she wants something she has to come to me for the money so that way I can make sure she puts some away.
second time. I had 2 children, he had none.
Very good marriage, We have 2 other children now.
I think most people who can't have children
of their own opt for adopting a child from infancy so they too can have the experience of raising a child. Now, if only people who already have children of their own or these celebs with all the money to burn would find room in their hearts for one more and adopt a grown child - wouldn't that be something?
I see mostly celebs getting children from
overseas...that's why they are able to get newborns so easily. A friend of the family recently adopted a baby from overseas. It cost them some money, but they had no problems. Newborns are the most sought after. Unfortunately, it is the older children who are suffering more and need homes. Maybe you should try and find a place for an older child in your home if you want to adopt so badly. Giving up on adoption is giving up on a child, if that is truly something you want to do.
Children with disabilities
I have two children who have mild autism. My husband and I fought the school system for years. The special education department told us, "I can't see your son analyzing novels." He could not multiple, subtract, add, divide, or any simple math that a 9th grader should be able to do. My oldest son is now in 9th grade and has not learned what he should have in public school. After doing much research, we came up with a plan to homeschool our son and he can analyze novels! He is finally learning! We have our work cut out for us as he is many years behind, but he will catch up. We have had such great success with him that we are going to home school our younger son as well. Home schooling is not for everyone. You will know if and when you are ready to home school when you have had enough. It was the best decision we ever made! For us, it was the light at the end of the tunnel!
Actually, many in our area have children
they have sick children all week long, they don't work, so no excuse there. They wait until the weekends to do all their healthcare for ALL their children, sometimes up to 4 to 5 children. They have all week long to get good healthcare at good clinics that do take their insurance or even at the local health department, but they wait until Friday evenings and BOOM....while others sit in the waiting room that are indeed in need of immediate care.
I believe it is, since they are watching your children & (sm)
in the event of an emergency such as an allergy, should you not disclose something it would not benefit anyone. Especially your child. I do ER transcription and have had kids come in to the ER with new onset diabetes, and the nurse knew to check since it was in the family history, so that is something to think about.
My children are grown and now
I am still working at home. Get to be grandma now. Don't forget $3 for a gallon of gas also.
I homeschool my children and I get so very
tired of the "S" word. I think most people feel like we keep them locked in the house all day, doing school for 8 hours a day. They are community sports teams, the kids in the neighborhood, homeschool activities, park days, church, etc. There are some families who isolate themselves, but the majority do not. My kids are extremely social and on weekends we have a line at the door wanting them to come out and play. I told DH we needed to put up a sign on the door that they aren't here so kids will stop knocking. Not only are my kids very social, but they are as comfortable with someone 65 as they are with their own peers. My oldest DS has kids 5 to 6 years younger wanting him to come play because he plays so well with them and they look up to him.
Kids don't have much time to socialize in the public school setting and the socialization isn't always positive.
Another consideration with children....
I mostly agree with you. I think one has to also consider one's own working habits along with the child's personality. Some kids just require more attention than others and I think they suffer if they don't get it, and one can't work and actively mother at the same time. In my case, I get focused and react irritably when drawn off task; it's okay now when I can post a sign up that I'm busy and on deadline, but it wasn't fair to them when they were small, and so they were in daycare at least part of the time as second shift was not an option for me. Also, my youngest was much more independent than my oldest and needed less one-on-one interaction (so long as he had those tinkertoys around!).
It's such an individual choice; I don't think anyone can say daycare is always better or at home is always better. I think as long as people take everyone's needs into consideration (including mommy's needs, which too often get shortchanged!) and act on that, then everyone will benefit.
Children's hospitals!
I have only been transcribing for about a year now and I am on an account for a children's hospital. I can not find half the words, nor understand the ESL doctors. Does anyone has any pointers, or know of a good website or book? Thanks guys!
I raised my children being an
having had their mom home. They are grown now and have their own children. I still work at home as an MT and am able to watch my granddaughter. She does not go to daycare, she goes to grandma's and says she is so much happier here.
sorry I don't agree about the children..sm
I, for one, am a product of said *scared into submission* and also *heavily physically abused* by the same parent who was into this *scared into submission*...
After 20 years of therapy from 8-28 - and dumping that parent who had no remorse....I'm fine. I also raised a very well-behaved 27 year old child who NEVER HAD TO BE SCARED INTO SUBMISSION. That's not to say I didn't whack once in awhile.......but I never abused anything or anybody in this life....except maybe myself in my 20s.
Now I'm in my 50s and I learned from every bad thing in life that happens to you, something good comes out of that.
Scared into submission may be fine for animals (but I really doubt it since I have animals and I have never scared them into submission and they, too, are well behaved because I hold them accountable, just like the children - holding someone accountable is not scaring them into submission).
Find a better way regarding the children...........
Yes, have both grandchildren and children and get this,
I worked full time when children were little- and get this again- I had to work in a hospital, not from home. You do what you HAVE to do- I did not retire, could not have then and like I said, not an emergency type situation. Deployment does not mean you stop working and then go to the poor house.
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