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A friend's grandmother

Posted By: OldMT on 2008-11-27
In Reply to: that is so right on. My mom lost the ability to.....sm - rapidtyper

A friend's grandma became obsessed with Polident, the stuff that helps keep your dentures in.  She had tubes and tubes of it stashed.  Anytime you were going over there and called to ask if she needed anything, the answer was always the same - Polident.  LOL, oh well, it was harmless, so who cared?  Kind of cute.  I hope when I'm old and "losing it" that at least I'm cute and not obscene or mean. 


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a friend's b/friend died last year, drank, took vicodin...

I get sad over my grandmother
Always meeting at her home for the special occasions, Christmas, Thanksgiving and the like. The house is still there but not for long as the city/county/state going through to make a road/street/highway? My cousin has been living there since her death in 1973 and I miss her so much but I asked for one of the glass door knobs from the home for a rememberance and he has that waiting for me out of town. I remember how she always bought me exactly what I wanted or needed. She recycled before recycling, always had anything you needed and could put her finger right on it- I guess if I had wanted a white elephant she would have went right to it. I thought I was so special in grammer school because I always had diamond rings, yes, diamond rings that I just picked out of a container she had at her home. Her husband used to be a bondsman and would take them on bonds- but was I special or not?? I was the only girl grandchild and I always thought she loved me more, whether she did or didn’t just felt like she did. Wonderful memories!
Don't know about mom's but he is like this at his grandmother's also.
nm
As a grandmother myself, I would never want to have
6 much less 14 children in my home, I could care less if my own grandchildren. I love my quiet life. If I want a circus I go to Ringling Brothers. This is a grown woman who had this litter- why should a person say in their 50s at least have to put up with her and her brood?
If your grandmother had a will it is
public knowledge and should be probated through the courts. Your recourse if cut out of a will is to go to court for what you think you are due as her granddaughter. I am reading you, your sister and nephew heirs. What about the grandmother's children (as in your parent, mother or father, you did not say which side of the family this g'mother is) and were there other children?
I am the grandmother who replied above

I really gave some thought to all of your postings overnight.  Your attitude is concerning on many levels, but I think the most bothersome - at least to me - is your lack of compassion of another human's right to be treated with respect.


There are about 3 million Americans currently caring for 6 million kin-related children they did not give birth to (outside of the foster care system - and, oh how that system would crash if it weren't for kinship care!).  The reasons are myriad, complex and simple.  I chose to keep my grandchild out of the foster care system and possible horrors that could be experienced there.  I chose to keep my grandchild in the family so that even though the parents could not raise the child, she would not be anonymously adopted and I would lose contact with her forever.  She has been able to remain within her family.  If I had allowed the state to get involved, there are federal time guidelines that are out of my control and only God knows where she would be today.  I tell her she is lucky to have two mommies...a tummy mommy (my daughter), and a heart mommy (me).  Will she ever go back to her mom?  Only time will tell.  The phrase "it takes a community to raise a child" was coined from life experiences, not just because it sounded good in a speech someone gave.  No matter how I feel about the behavior of her parents, I always tell her they love her.  I do not disparage them to her at all.  I am blessed that they return that gift by not denigrating me to her, either.


When I was growing up, I lived for a year with my aunt to get away from a bad school situation.  A cousin once came to live with my family for the same reason.  These things happened 20-plus years ago, so this woman's situation is not a new one.


There are many reasons that cause someone other than a mom or dad to raise someone else's child.  Those people should be lifted up and honored and the people who promote the well-being of the child over what society thinks or their own selfish interests should be applauded.  It is not demoralizing society for this situation to exist.  These people are doing their best to keep the integrity of the society in which they live intact.


I hope you find peace and compassion on a day when you find yourself in need of support.


Reminds me of my grandmother.
She enjoyed green olives. She said if you go to Spain, they sold them from carts on the street, and she would get them and eat them by the handful.

My additions would be certain kinds of ice cream and chocolate. I do enjoy the sour gummy candy much too much. I bet it's at least as bad for your teeth as cola drinks, so I try not to buy that stuff. Can't stop if I have Milk Duds, either.
Remember my grandmother used to at
age 70 something. No pregnancy involved.
grandmother's passing
Try and be at peace. God knows her heart, OK? You're a good person and you deserve to be comforted. As I said, be at peace.
death of grandmother

Truly a horrible turn of events for you.  Two deaths of loved ones so close together.  Lean on the one who tells us to bring our cares to Him.   It is believed  by many that it would be limiting God to teach that this life is the only time that God can call a person to Himself.  Second resurrection may be the answer.   Also preaching to souls in prison, think about why they would need to be preached to, if these were evil spirits, not human spirits, what good would it do to preach to them?God is a God of love and your family members are in His hands. 


Re suicide, no sane person can take their own life. no matter how "rational" they make it sound.  Those who do kill themselves are not responsible for the sin of murder because they are so sick.  


My grandmother did the same thing...
...insisting that her sister and niece, whom I barely knew and my mother didn't care for, be invited to my wedding.  Mom caved, they neither showed up nor responded to let us know they weren't coming. Mom still says to this day she wishes she hadn't given in. 
Well if it wasn't for this grandmother
There would be no wedding.  Grandmothers are the "chiefs" of our tribes so to speak.  I hope the best for this young couple, but it sounds like they're being childish.  Let the grandmother invite some people, unless their felons.    
mother of 2, grandmother of 1
My hubby and I chose to have only 2. We got a boy and girl. I am now raising my granddaughter. I am hopeful that I can adopt her soon, and that her mom is serious about not having any more kids . I think one is what you said...plenty of work and love!
Let the other grandmother they lavish
calls, visits, hugs, love, etc., etc. go and buy. I have spent so much valuable time going to them so now tired of it all being on my part. I deserve as much as their maternal gmother.
For my grandmother, who is still active but
on a limited income I give her all occasion cards and stamps. She has told my mother many times what a great help they are to her.
It was very sad when my grandmother died
but she had lived a long good life. It was not a big party by any means, but we were looking at it from the side of she is now in heaven, she is with her husband, and she is no longer suffering any pain. I know there is always sadness and more for some than others. I knew what I wrote was going to be misunderstood. BTW, I am caucasian.
my grandmother has Vista on hers and
I don't like that everything is black instead of blue. I could not find anything i was looking for when i have tried to help her fix her computer. Her printer will not work now and I cannot figure out how to uninstall it. I am having her bring it over tomorrow to see if I can install it on my PC to see if it's the printer or her PC. if you like change you may like vista but it will be a very sad day indeed when I am forced to buy a PC with Vista. Luckily I just had this one built in December and they still had copies of XP to install on it!!!
My grandmother always froze her if she was going away sm
it didn't matter how little was left. She once froze some that couldn't have been more than 2 swallows. She also took napkins and sugar packets from resturants.
my grandmother made them, I think
she would change the water to "lessen the strong flavor" and then made a cheese sauce. Roasted sounds good.
Not a grandmother but parent myself
Well maybe you were a little defensive then and not resentful but reading your post it sounded like the things you do with/for your kids were more like chores instead of things you chose to do.  I am not a grandparent but still a parent as both my sons still live at home as they go to college.  I see too many people who just leave their kids to fend for themselves, 2-3 nights every week and every weekend during hockey season and other sports seasons...sorry if I offended you but that's the way you came off.
of course they will, but she said her grandmother did apologize.
I just hope for some forgiveness, as well.
My grandmother is dying also
She and I are not exactly close, we live across the country from each other and always have. She was never very nice to my mother so I had a hard time getting close to her. My brother and I are the only family she has left and of the 2 or us I am the only one that keeps in constant contact with her.

When I do talk to her I reminisce. Not about our times together but about when she was younger. She loves to talk about herself.

If this woman feels like talking do that. Or maybe she just feels like listening and you could tell her how much you enjoyed playing her piano and playing with her jewelry. Just let her know she made a difference in your life. You don't have to outright talk about missing her, but I know she will get the message and I am sure it will bring her some comfort.
i lost my grandmother too in almost say way as you are describing sm
this was several years ago. she was 82 and all of a sudden developed pneumonia, which turned into sepsis. i had typed enough reports to know what sepsis meant and her hope was slowly going downhill. she too took a major turn for the worse after about a week in the ICU and nurses talking about her going home in a few days. she was also DNR status. they did, however, give her O2 by mask although i still don't believe it was enough because she was alert and told us she couldn't breathe. they also gave her morphine, which i disagreed with given my research because i read morphine makes lungs fill more with fluid rather than clear the fluid out. when questioning the doc about this, he threw her chart on the floor and said if you disagree with me, find yourself another doctor and walked out! it was horrible! i am not positive, but i do think they gave her antibiotics. we didn't get the chance to bring her home or to hospice though. she did have an IV so maybe there are other guidelines in her DNR/DNI status and her wishes that stated she didn't want them. she remember, she will be in peace soon and be thankful for the times you had with her. although my grandmother was in very good health until her pneumonia took her away from us, i'd rather seen her go like she did than to have a long, drawn out battle with health issues and pain. prayers to you and your family during this trying time for you.
African violets, but my grandmother kept
hers under special fluorescent lights to get them to bloom.

Kalanchoe is another. They sell them even at Walmart I think. They keep them inside.

I'm not an indoor gardener, so I'm not a lot of help, but I'd go to Home Depot and see what they have for inside plants.
your grandmother=wise woman..saying comes from

Woman


was made from the rib of man, she was not created from his head-to top him, nor from his feet-to be stepped upon.


She was made from his side, to be equal to him; from beneath his arm-to be protected by him; near his heart-to be loved by him.


From The Talmud


She said her grandmother and mother were talking...
about her--hardly abuse. I think that if someone raises you, she is allowed a mistake or two--I make them all the time and my son is only 2. Heaven help me if he holds a grudge forever. About domestic violence--violence is bad. I have not responded to that post because I am not sure what to make of it. However, if you post your personal business on this board and do not get the answer you wanted, so what? All of these people will do what they want to do anyway. These are only opinions that are posted and the opinions are only based on the information given, which I am sure are NEVER the entire story.
Honestly, the only part my grandmother
taught me was how to chain stitch. Yes, the blankets i'm making are all chain stitching but that makes them VERY warm and wonderful (and I think last longer). I do have someone at work who said they would teach me how to granny square but i'd like to finish up the current blankets before learning a new stitch.
My grandmother used olive oil for everything, especially for her skin
and when she wanted to give herself a facial, she would combine oatmeal and egg whites - i remember how funny she used to look doing that but that woman had the most beautiful skin.  For conditioning her hair, she used mayonnaise that she made herself and to protect her hair during the winter months she used avocado and olive oil - after washing her hair she would as she said ' scoop to goop' onto her hair, wrap it with a warm towel for ten minutes and rinse it out thoroughly.  She never ever used soap on her face - she used to tell me and my sisters (there are five of us) that soap is the worst thing for a woman's skin...to clean her face she used cold cream (Jergen's and some other kind I can't recall now) but it worked.  As an astringent she used witch hazel with a bit of tea tree oil and for scars which was got a lot being little, after they healed over really well she would have us rub a lemon rind with a teeny bit of lemon on it over our skin - it does fade small scars.  I tell you, stuff that grams used worked before all of this fancy schmancy manfactured stuff; and I still use a lot of her ideas to this day..
My aunt, kids grandmother, dads Mom.
Sorry for the confusion. 
My grandmother died a couple years ago.
She was not a churchgoing woman but believed in God nonetheless. As we were setting up the funeral arrangements, the pastor asked what Bible verses my grandma would have liked read at the funeral. We told him nothing particular, just whatever he wanted. She wasn't a churchgoer. Well, this Christian pastor took MY GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL as an opportunity to tell everyone there that she wasn't going to heaven because she wasn't "born again." I have never been SO MORTIFIED in ALL MY LIFE!!! So, believe me, I have hostility towards Christians who try to "save me" or any of my family.
I am so glad my grandmother's remedy worked for you
I called her my little brown mole- she had a garden and in the summer had such a nice tan. She firmly believed in using the Camphopenique for most everything. I did not remember it being used for mouth sores but learned that within the past year from her daughter, my aunt, when I suffered the same. I glean so much information from my elders- you just cannot beat helpful hints from people who have lived longer than us and seem to know so much. I am glad it helped you!
My grandmother made homemade mac and cheese sm
She died at the age of 93 and I was 27 and I am ashamed to say that I never learned how to make it. She didn't have a receipe. She would also put fried chicken on the stove before church and it would be cooked to perfection by dinnertime. Ask my brother or me what our last meal would be and we both say Mamaw's fried chicken and mac and cheese.
i made a memorial site for my mom for my sister and my grandmother a few years ago. sm
neither were cremated, but mom wanted a memorial. we took a spot in her back yard and made a rose garden out of it. we planted several rose bushes. i got some of those make your own stones from hobby lobby. it is like cement that you pour into the mold. i then wrote in the cement before it dried their names at the bottom and in loving memory of at the top. decorated the stones up with some heart gems. these are in the middle of the rose flower bed. we also got her a covered canopy bench to sit next to it. everyone in the family loves to go there. just FYI there is a rose that is a red and white mixture rose that is called the love rose and this is the very center of our "memorial". i can't recall the name and it was very hard to locate. this was several years ago and the roses are growing pretty than ever.
I love the ambrosia my Grandmother used to make/beautiful pearls one year from DH. nm
,,
No, he is not..I have a friend...
coming to feed the cats (live in the country, have 8 outside cats!) and 3 inside cats. I feel bad making her come and mix food for him...we live 25 miles from town. A vet told me that he will either eat or just drink water and would be okay...but I will worry about him! I have been cooking extra chicken, turkey, etc. for him..my husband says he is spoiled! 
I had a friend who had those and
apparently they just observe them.  Maybe you should get a second opinion if you are having pain.  Hope you feel better.  
too bad- my best friend
has 'the gift.' That is about the only way I know to put it. She cleans my house for me and she can do in an hour and a half what it would take me all day if not two days to do. And it just looks so clean and bright and shiny when she is done!! LOL I mean, there is clean and then there is CLEAN!! And when she folds my laundry I don't even need to iron it later! We have the best deal worked out- she has one of my vehicles on a sort of 'permanent loan' and I pay the insurance on it and I also try to pay her a little extra here and there, and she comes over and helps me keep my house clean and helps me stay on top of my bills. I have a pretty bad case of ADD.

If you were in this area I would maybe lend her to you for a while, LOL. I know she would like to find just one or two 'regulars' that she could clean for to make a little extra money on the side.
Friend

If she is really a good friend, stick with her. REAL friends love you warts and all. If her behavior is causing you true anguish and she is an acquaintance... go your separate ways. Money comes and goes -- true friends don't.


Lilly


My friend's SON. not MOM!
Sorry for the typo. I am a BAT brain today!
Friend? Some friend! sm
Yes you should be mad, but only at yourself. Giving $$ once I can see. Maybe twice. You have been used by this 'friend'. Doesn't matter how nice you think she is, you have found out otherwise. You are out $$ which you generously gave in thinking it was being used to help her out, yet she has taken advantage of you and therefore, that speaks reams about her character, or lack thereof. I would be disappointed in her and mad at myself for falling for her sob story. I'd tell her exactly how I felt from the heart and would end the friendship since it was based on lies. She has the characteristics of a con woman. Time to cut the losses and move on...and learn!


friend
If it is something that is opening her up to being hurt in anyway most defintely i would tell them. It is their choice then to decide what to do. You know how some parents really shouldn't be parents and others are great parents!
friend?
I actually had to call a parent before. My daughter had asked ex-friend to stop writing things about her in her online diary which she did for a while. When it happened again, with a statement to the effect of you asked me to stop writing about you, too bad!, I called the mother and had a little chat. Never happened again. In this case, she actually used my daughter's name so I brought up the fact that it was libel. Print out the bulletin to show parents if you have to.
Friend
I would want to know if it were my daughter. It might get complicated when you first tell them and could cause problems but in the long run you may very well be saving her life. Please don't hesitate to tell the parents.
been where you are, my friend -
I am so sorry. I know this is hard, but here is an idea to try. Have your vet get you some Buprenex to administer at home. It is a very small amount of liquid you give via syringe inserted between her cheek and her teeth. You shoot it into the mouth. Takes less than a second and is painless. It is absorbed nearly instantly. It also causes far fewer side effects than most pain killers. This has worked like a charm when my cats had to have teeth pulled, for one that had all its teeth pulled due to severe stomatitis, and one who had oral cancer in his jaw. Try baby food (the meat types) and AD canned mixed with Pedialite to get food in her and keep her hydrated. You will know when it *is time* to let her go, but please give these things a try and let us know how it goes! My best to you.
Thank you - about my friend (sm)
She was a Christian and throughout her illness she asked for prayers for God's will to be done, not for her healing (although many of us still prayed for her healing). Many of the people posting on here blowing the horn about what great Christians are, are not acting the way true Christians should. I will admit to everyone that I am confused. I can't answer the questions about the suffering that goes on. I am not going to say that those people suffering just didn't have enough faith. The fact is you are not going to get what you want just because you pray for it. You might and you might not. I still believe, but many things in the world still don't make sense to me. I think somewhere along the way, we have gotten the message confused. I posted a link above about some little children who I think have it right.
A friend of a friend has had it done - sm
She did it about a year ago and has lost over 100 pounds but recently starting having severe problems. They ended up having to take them out as she was unable to eat at all basically; nauseous, constant vomiting, etc. She feels much better now though. Not sure of the details but that is the basic gist of it for her.
I'd be mad...no one else is her friend, so why should you be? (sm)
No reason for you to put up with her any more than anyone else does. She's just a snob - maybe if everyone ignores her for a while she will get the hint!
Friend?
 Ever hear of a toxic relationship?  Sometimes they are terribly hard to break, but you will be much better off if you cool it with her for a while, just see her when you absolutely have to. 
I have a friend that did this went from Bob to Rob - sm
I just had a hard time switching to the new name as I had known him for years as "Bob". To him it was more an acknowledgement of his coming out as gay I think. I could care less that he was gay (and had known for a long time before he "came out") but he got mad that I would not call him Rob and so cut off all contact (we are on opposite coasts now, and then, so it is not a big deal either way). Upsetting to lose a friend over something so stoopid, we were both wrong I'd say, I should have tried harder and he should have cut me some slack as I had been a good friend for years. ---This guy's family you mention probably has the same problem, they know him as "Michael"; he should cut them some slack as that is what they are used to. My brother is named Mike, and we all call him Mike, my SIL is the only one who calls him Michael (he has never asked us to call him Michael though). I think he should just learn to live with it and use his new name with new friends and leave his family alone.
I have a friend like that too, SM
She does have a chronic medical condition, but is doing very well. She exercises with a personal trainer several days a week, takes long walks every day, and recently helped her stepdaughter remodel her home! However, she has a handicapped sticker (she brags about never having to walk very far in the winter) and not only that, is on SS disability. She hasn't worked in several years. Oh -- and if her DH or one of her teenagers runs errands, they take her van so they can get the close spots too. :(

And yeah, maybe I'm being judgemental too, but I agree with you 100%.
friend...
You know I guess some people are different but if someone pays $1000 for something I AM NOT asking to borrow it. I don't like borrowing other people's things. If I break it I feel it is my responsibility to replace it. So I just don't. Some people have no problem with it.