Happiness is a heart thing; pleasure is a head thing.nm
Posted By: Wannie on 2007-05-05
In Reply to: In your opinion... - sm
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
pleasure versus happiness
Pleasure pertains to the senses. For instance, it is pleasurable to eat something you like. Happiness is a state of being which may or may not involve the senses, as in desires fulfilled. For example, it was a pleasure to eat the chocolate cake. I'd be happy if I could have the pleasure of doing it every day.
my mom said same thing about wet head...
it's like if you spill the salt, it's bad luck....these are old *wives tales* perpetuated WAY_BACK_WHEN....a.k.a. superstitions for some of them...
don't walk under a ladder
don't let a black cat cross your path
swallow a watermelon pit and you grow a watermelon in tummy
swallow a piece of gum and it stays in your system for 7 years or clogs you up
(Most of them are ridiculous and a waste of time)....I have owned black cat(s), purposefully walked under ladders, spilled salt and think nothing of it, swallowed gum and/or small pits of fruits, and I'M STILL KICKIN.......and getting OLDER THAN DIRT *L*
I thought she did that standing on her head thing...nm
x
I head that was a limited-time only thing. I never even got a chance to try it. nm
xx
Ex-husband had it. Same thing..out of nowhere, even at rest, his heart would just take off, up
over 200 beats a minutes. It was very scary. I think his was caused by congenitally having an extra vein or artery on his heart on the underside to which electrical currents travels and no way to slow it down. Evidently, he went to a cardiac electrophysiologist who did an ablation. Basically, put an electric wire up through the femoral artery to the problem and zapping it with an electrical current which shorted it out, much like if you would stick a wire or key into an electrical outlet. It cured him, but up until that point, he was having to stay on medication to control his heart beat so they wouldnt go out of control.
Head or Heart
I followed my head, wish I would have followed my heart.
I do the same thing
I like it when there is a web site that has pictures of the docs/PAs/nurses . . . so funny to see how they look, after already having an image in my mind from hearing their voice.
I once had a boss, with whom I had only corresponded by e-mail, IM, etc. When I finally did speak with her on the telephone, my image of her changed completely, although I still do not know what she really looks like. In this case, she went from a very professional-looking, large (as in big-boned, tall, etc.) red head, to a very large (as in fat), short, still red-headed (but in a messy bun, rather than professional shoulder-length style), barefoot, straw-hanging-out-of-her-mouth, country bumpkin. LOL :)
it cut off the first thing is said.
i said to say how you wish you could change it all for him but you cant...and also, the plot of this angle would be putting guilt onto him that what his father has done to him, he did to him...not to your children and that they shouldnt have to endure the same pain as he has to go thru. when i play this reverse psychology stuff with my husband, of course he gets angry..bla bla..says whatever, btu then i always see him using my advise later..it does soak into their hearts.
Only thing you can do is pay or it will
go on your credit. Sorry this happened but I would not cosign even if it were for my own child if I thought there was even a remote chance that they would default from lack of responsibility/funds. I would tell her that you will pay it but that she has to pay you back and set up a payment schedule for her to pay you back. If she will not go to the other girl, that is her problem, not yours. Tell her she will have to pay you back and be emphatic about it, even if it is at $10 a month to show her that is not the way to handle responsibility.
The only thing I know is what
my realtor told me. When we were signing contracts, there was a special on TV about this. He made some comments because apparently he does not think this is a good idea. From what I know, you cannot see inside the house before the auction or have an inspection or anything. It is as is. Unfortunately, you do not know what type of structural problems this could include. They showed one guy who bought this house he had his eye for a long time at a very cheap price. When he got in there to start renovations, he found a lot more problems with it than he anticipated. Luckily, he was a contractor though and had the means to fix it up cheaper than you or I would and was actually selling these homes once finishing them. He said that one he about broke even on. He said it was a hit and miss when buying like that.
I agree with the other poster though that you should find out the laws in your state first and see if it is occupied still which could present another headache in itself. Good luck!
It was the best thing I ever did. sm
Had abdominal hysterectomy due to endometriosis, ovarian cysts, adhesions, fibroids, etc.
I wish I did it sooner is all I can say. I was up and out of bed the following morning. I, like you, had previous c-section, so I anticipated the pain, etc.
Really, no big deal for me at the age of 37. I am completely without pain now. What a relief! Had problems since I was 13 - now none! I can honestly say I feel like a new person.
Good luck in whatever you decide.
My son does the same thing... sm
Who says we're not focused on our work in our home environment???? AAAYYY?
My doc said the same thing
live your life. I've not had a flare since 13 months ago. I've defintely found keeping my mind busy and my body active makes for a better attitude.
We do the same thing. nm
nm
Only thing I would add is that I would definitely not
allow my child to talk to this person on the telephone - that is what caller ID is for. Otherwise wonderful advice.
I was going to say the same thing, I am also
wondering why such a wonderful man would have two ex-wives.
One more thing -
Do give your MIL the number of the vet you use in case she needs to take kitty there for something. I have done this with the people who have watched my cats over the years. They have never needed to take them to the vet for anything, but it gave me peace of mind knowing it was in place should it be needed. It sounds like you have covered all the rest. Enjoy your trip!!
And another thing....
I didn't choose to work at home because I was too lazy to go find another job outside of the home. I chose to quit my job outside of the home (making more money than I do now!) so that I could do this instead.
Also, I am starting school this year to get another job outside of the home. I guess when I am balancing all this and going to school, I will still be lazy and unprofessional to you! Whatever....
Like I've said before, people chose professions for all kinds of reasons. Staying at home was my reason. So what?! That does not mean you do your job any better than me or the rest of us. That is all in your head, which is a very big one at that!
first thing I would do - sm
Pay off all bills and set up college funds and trusts for my kids and any grandkids I may get in the forthcoming years.
Then I would be a little more conservative and buy a fixer upper and turn it into my dream home. Who needs to build another house when there are so many beautiful old neglected homes out there?!
The next thing I would do is buy this old building in town that used to be a school and renovate it into a group home for unwed mothers/fathers, dormitory style so I could help them build futures for themselves and their children.
That would be my dream.
Maybe she needs to go out and do her thing? nm
x
And another thing-
I would be willing to bet she does not show up on Dancing with the Stars. When I heard she was supposed to be on there, I thought nah, don’t think so.
I know that this is not the same thing..sm
but I had a kitty cat who had diabetes. with unchecked diabetes, the kidneys are at risk. my kitty started kidney failure and had alot of the same symptoms you described. She would not eat or drink, because she did not want to p because it hurt to p. She became so severely dehydrated, I had to put her down. she was 13 years old. Has your doggie been checked for diabetes?? It is just a thought and I am not trying to scare you, but I would have started forcing fluids before this, with your doggie. Good luck. I hate it when pets get sick and you don't know how to help them! Also, has she been checked for the parvoux (sp) virus??
One more thing......
I went back and re-read your message after posting. Your fruits are from your hard labor, but are also a blessing from God. I know that sounds confusing, but believers know that you have to work hard to produce fruits. It's what you do with those fruits that make the difference. God does bless you for your hard work.
To explain it better:
The bible says this: Proverbs 14:23 All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.
I'm going through the same thing here!
One of my dogs (a gay little Lhasa-Poo) has the itchy horrors. The vet took skin scrapings looking for mites but found nothing and yet still prescribed Ivermectin (a wormer) in the hopes that the itching was caused by some creepy crawly that just couldn't be seen. I just squirted this stuff into his mouth every 2 weeks for 3 doses total and nothing. Everyone is on FrontLine for flea prevention and we did the prednisone along with something like benadryl and different foods...just like you have done! I even went so far as to shave him myself down to the skin.
After all that "experimentation" and retarded vet bills, he still has the friggin' itching! Vet thinks it is allergies as well and recommends we just live with it, as the testing is going to be a heck of a lot more $$$ and it carries no guarantee either of finding out the true cause.
I say my dog is allergic to himself...or us...or the other animals here. Can't do much about it. I figure if he's happy, eating, sleeping, and pretty much enjoying life, it's just going to be one of his annoying quirks...that along with leaving skidmarks on the rug!
Good luck and keep us updated on if you find anything out that works for you!
oh - and another thing -
the other poster that mentioned allergies - my mom has had two dogs now with severe allergies to grass and fleas. Even though she was using Revolution - even if a flea got on her and died immediately it caused problems. One was put on steroids and ended up losing all of her hair from the steroids.
One thing I can say...........sm
My mom used Oil of Olay her entire adult life. She did not spend a lot of time in the sun. She got up every morning and put on Oil of Olay before work, and then at night. She is 67 years old and her skin looks better than mine. She doesn't have the uneven tone and skin blotchiness that I do. So, I have been thinking about giving the line a try myself!!!!
I did the same thing, and my mom do any of the - sm
organizing or planning. I did ask her advise on my dress and the color flowers but that was it. I even picked out her dress! Yes I am a control freak, but it all came off the way I wanted it to and it all went very smoothly as I had it organized it from day 1. I had a vision of what I wanted and was able to get it. I had 9 months to plan it, but had it all ironed out and set up within 5 weeks of my engagement. My mom did go dress shopping with me of course and helped be pick out my dress but that was basically the extent of her involvement. I had a very small wedding which helped too (50). She was not the type of person though to stick her nose into other people's business which I think is a very good trait (especially in a MIL). My in-laws to be stayed out of it too, though I did ask them for input on the rehersal dinner in terms of menu/ordering as they did pay for that. I know how to be a good politician when necessary.
I said same thing down below and got
flamed for saying just let it go, glad to hear someone else say exactly the same.
Have only one thing to say - buh-bye
nm
I think you are doing the right thing (sm)
I would not call the mom.
Well, she was right about one thing! (sm)
The man on the $10 bill was not a president at all! Alexander Hamilton was the Secretary of the Treasury.
It's really ironic that you mention this because my daughter, whose 2nd year of college just ended, is going through learning withdrawals, so she's doing independent study on the presidents and US history. She is completely facinated with Hamilton (and the currency he is on as well!).
I gave her $10 a couple nights ago and she has no idea what happened to it (turned up in the wash today). Then she lost $10 of someone else's money (trust me, she is usually very responsible). When I asked her what's up with her losing $10 bills, she said, 'I'm just secretly collecting Hamiltons. I love the guy!'
...ok I've had enough of this Hamilton guy. Maybe she'd stop secretly hoarding 10s if Clooney's picture was on them!
And that is an odd thing??
Murders happen everywhere!! In my city, mostly 3-4 on a daily basis. Would probably be safer there.
I do the same thing--
We live in the country and my computer is right here at the window where they are always playing outside. I just have to stop and take a break sometimes just to watch them through the window and smile! Really lightens the day.
thing is
if you were to leave, you have time to clear your head a little and figure out a course of action. i came back here because he promised all sorts of things, and he did seem sorry and trying to change, but last night gave me a vision of the old days, which I cannot and will not live in. He is awake now, and is trying to be sorry. Im just really tired.
only you know the right thing to do
Quote - My question is - if he has never been happy with me, and I have always been a source of frustration, why should I stay now and expect things to improve? We have been to 4 marriage counsellors in the past. I am scared about leaving and I still do love him deep down, but why continue to stay if I will never be good enough? Unquote
I noticed that you focused your entire post about what he says, thinks, feels and does. Finally, in the last sentence you give a minor reference to how you feel. You don't talk about whether or not you are happy, how you would feel about staying (only being scared to leave). I was in a relationship for almost 20 years where I stayed for the sake of the kids - stayed 9 years too long. If divorce is going to be the end result, it hurts longer to stay than to just do it and get it over with. It does not sound like either one of you are going to be happy staying together - WHY would you want to stay with somone like that? Lots of things in life are scarry and feeling some love _deep down_ should not be the sole reason to stay.
What about your mental health, happiness, well being, ability to care for your children, finding your self worth? In other words, why are you concentrating on him and not on you? If he has never been happy with you, is not now happy with you, is there some miracle you are waiting on to filter down from the skies and change that about him so one day, maybe, hopefully, so you won't have to be scared to make a decision, he will want to be with you? Lots of definitives (he is not happy you) (you are scared of the unknown if you split up), but a lot fewer unknowns (can you find happiness without someone dragging you down and staying the source of his frustration?).
Gotta make a choice and all of us on this site can't make it for you. I emphasize with you, truly I do. Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I got tired of getting the same results (my unhappiness). You seem to be putting his worth over yours - from my perspective. No one can make you unhappy unless you give them permission to. You make a decision every time you choose not to make a decision.
Best of luck in these hard times. 
one more thing to think about....
You can deduct the interest you pay on your mortgage come tax time. Can't do that with a CC.
Great points made by "Advice" above.
Get rid of the CC debt first and foremost. The lower the amount you pay on your CC, the more you pay in interest. If you keep using that CC, you'll never get out of the hole. Pay as much as you can every month, not the minimum. Cut up the card when you are done.
Debt counselor is a great idea, but do they work for free? If they consolidate your debt into one loan, they must be making money off you somehow.
Most of this is common sense, hard work on your part, and some heavy duty scrimping and saving. It's not forever, just until you can get back on track and out of debt. Try tracking EVERY cent that comes in your house for a month. Include every single thing like parking meters, coffee, etc. You'd be surprised how the little things add up. Fill your car up in the a.m. or night when the temp is cooler outside = more gas for your $.
Be creative, you can figure out lots of ways to shave $$.
Good luck!
The only thing I know for sure is (sm)
The cerebellar tonsillar ectopia has to be a certain length to be abnormal. I did an mri the other day where the cerebellar tonsils extended 5 mm and the radiologist said that was the upper range of normal.
Where exactly is the scar tissue? Is it in the spine or the layers of the spinal cord? It is in the brain? Is it in the area of the cerebellar tonsils that extend below the foramen magnum? All of those areas would have different implications.
thing.
xx
One more thing...
Over the years we've had our fair share of beloved furry family members die. We did bury some in our yard, which I later regreted as we got a dog who dug some of the up. Very unpleasant to have to deal with. We also cremated some of them and then put their ashes around the base of special tree or bush that we planted for them. I personally think that is what works best for us.
One thing to not do and you probably know this already
is you do not give money to someone who does/did drugs. If they are hungry, food, not money. I really feel your pain and I have been thru the court system with my step g'child. The courts do nothing. It is like revolving door there. You know, too, that enabling will never do but I have a friend like you. I have stayed away from her now for several months (is in another state)because they were trying to rook me into enabling and am not gonna do. I never had to put up with a situation like this. This is a woman, though and you are probably about to kill yourself trying to see after her. I would agree with the above in taking care of you FIRST. You cannot help others without you being ok. I have never really had to deal for years with things like you have - the grandfather died- the g-child out of my life now (good riddance, too much trouble for me)but when you are having to deal with things like this you are at your wits end, I know. I thank the heavens above I never had to deal with my 2 children like this. I am sorry for your plight.
I'm going through the same thing with
my son. He's almost 2-1/2 and he'll sit on it sometimes but it just hasn't clicked with him yet. He doesn't stay dry through the night at all and I know he's just not ready. I don't worry about it though - it's his timing not mine!
I do the same thing...
My DD is 17 also, I had her on BCP not for contraception, but for dysfunctional bleeding and cramping...HOWEVER, knowing that if the time comes...and eventually will...she's protected is enough for me. I live in reality...I was a teen mom, having had my 1st at 18...he's now 20 and thankfully is still childless...I love my kids too much to bury my head in the sand and just hope nothing will happen. My DD and I are very, very close, she tells me (almost--I'm sure) everything. I just feel I should be responsible and protect her as much as I can. I only wish I could protect my DS in the same way, instead of just having to repeat over and over...DON'T DO IT if you don't want kids...condoms, etc...
I was just going to ask the same thing.
nm
THANK YOU DW!! Best. Thing. Ever.
I did what you said and I'm not squinting anymore!!! Thanks. I've always wanted to make the letters on my electronic drug reference bigger but never knew how. You just saved me some headaches and wrinkles in my forehead.
Yes, but sex is a two way thing. He is obviously not doing it
xx
The thing we have going for us though (sm)
is that we can stand up for ourselves and what are they gonna do about it? Divorce us? No, you know why? Because they would have to give up a boatload of money, that's why. And that means if we ever do get brave enough to leave, we not only get child support (which will be a good amt since they make a lot) but we also get half of the 401K, half of any equity in the house, half of anything else we own. You can stand up to him - he's almost certainly not gonna divorce you because of the money factor. And if he does, then you get the cash. You won't have to live on $18 thousand a year. You won't be rich, but you won't be destitute either.
I have been in exactly the same thing
so there are people who have absolutely no family support and children to support. Hey, guess what? My husband started going with a girl and finally I was able to get away (he was abusive) because he wanted to be with her. Best thing ever happened to me. He had broke my arm, I had a 7 year old and a baby under 1 year old. I made it working 2 different jobs, had to, no outside family or anyone I could count on, so when you say oh woe is me, others have been in same and worse shapes. Women sometimes think they cant but if worse comes to worse, hey go for it. It is not easy, never said it was but it can be done, so my 2 bits. Cant sit around and wallow in self-pity, gets you no where fast. Oh, married now- best husband I could ever hope for.
Do your thing
Sorry, but your parents have absolutely no right to expect you to redesign your Christmas plans. Go to your inlaws and have a wonderful time - if your parents won't come, they need to amuse themselves for that time. DO NOT GIVE IN TO THEIR MANIPULATION.
My dog does the same thing
she insists on sitting on my lap draped across my arm while I'm working. As if I didn't have enough things to cause carpal tunnel :) I have a pic of my cat laying on my desk, he's a big boy. I'll have to try and upload it.
What gets me about this is that the very same thing
happened pretty recently at Riley Hospital for Children in Indianapolis. I think more than one baby died. I would have thought that incident would have changed procedures nationwide to ensure the same thing did not happen on other neonatal units.
I do the same thing :-) (nm)
x
|
