I commiserate...

It took me a long time to learn that I could not change my husband's behavior unless a lot of yelling, frustration, etc., was involved, even if I tried asking nicely first.  It was not fun for anyone.

YOU can change your behavior.  I personally see 3 possibilities here.  One, you can tell him straightforward beforehand that you want to chose something for yourself (with his input of course - wink, wink).  Two, you can pick something out without consulting him.  Tell him what is good for the goose is good for the gander.  A third possibility is to mention you want something.  Tell him so and so (someone he respects) thought that product XYZ would be a good option or even owns XYZ and loves it.   For me, bargaining works better than getting mad and attacking like I used to.

This all depends on your tolerance on changing your own behaviors.  If you prefer not to, then of course your options will not change.

I am only w

• Crying all morning.....sm - He just doesn't get it
  • sweet guy - michelle
    • Yeah, you're delusional. nm - OP
      • Sorry to have responded that way (sm) - OP
        • He is treating you like a child sm - L
          • Sorry about the typos, been up all night and can't see straight or spell it seems. nm - L
  • That's really not nice of him, you poor thing - nnn
  • You've been married 15 years - mt
    • Well I haven't done it peacefully though (sm) - OP
  • Ugh. Reminds me of (sm) - Me
  • I commiserate... - Hubie
    • Also, - Hubie
      • He may be....but $300 pool versus a $30,000 truck, and a boat, etc., etc.? nm - OP
        • I didn't mean he was right ... - Hubie
          • That is a good idea. I can try that...again (sm) - OP
  • When I asked why it was ok for him to pick out a truck and a boat without me (sm) - He just doesn't get it
    • actually, you might remind him - gert
      • to gert... - nnn
        • actually, I did consider that. LOL. - gert

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My husband got rear-ended on the job three years ago, is still having pain and numbness in his back and leg.  The company he worked for didn't file for Worker's Comp or even fill out an incident report, which we didn't find out until his bills weren't getting paid.  We got a lawyer, who is useless. They finally got going on the Worker's Comp but now they've stopped paying again - he's getting his Lyrica through Pfizer's patient care plan because we have no insurance and WC won't pay.  Any phone calls get redirected when he calls WC insurance carrier.  He's pretty much resigned to living in pain the rest of his life.  I don't know how people can cheat and get away with it when he can be legitimately hurt and not get any help at all!