I had the same problem wtih both sm

of my 19-year-old sons at one time or another.  I just told them, here are the rules and if you don't follow them, you are out.  Believe me, your son will not go homeless or hungry.  They always find a way to take care of themselves if they HAVE to.  I feel for you, I think 19 is the age that STINKS.  He is only not :"working" because he is allowed to "not work."

As far as your daughter goes, I don't blame you for not wanting her to live there.  What a nerve racking mess that would be.  But, if you feel that is the only solution, then you will have to set rules before she ever comes in and brings the kids and DONT BACK DOWN!  Set her rent at what you feel it needs to be set at.  Think of it this way, if she wasn't living with you she would have to pay more or be on the street.  I know its hard, but these kids will take advantage as long as you let them. I know I have been there.

I don't have girls or grand kids, so I know that situation is different.  As far as the boy though, set your rules, stick by em and he will either follwo them or get out but he will survive.  For some reason, kids (boys in particular) who pull this stuff, manage to survive off their friends or whatever until they grow up.  Both my kids turned out just fine.  The youngest that caused me the most trouble is now married, is a firefighter and has his own wrecker/towing/repo service on the side.

This "mom" thing is not for the faint at heart is it?  Good luck

• How much should I have to do? - anon
  • It's called "tough love." What about when something happens to you? - deb
    • She was getting a lot of child support before and -- - anon
  • Tell him you want $100 a month of that $180 he gets for rent. nm - Fingers
  • Let them grow up - Patty
  • As soon as you stop enabling them - sm - renee
  • parents are suppose to be there for their kids, but he needs to get his s**t together - tabby
  • take a look around the - corner of time
    • Let me explain more- kind of long winded - sorry! - anon
      • I have a friend like you - MTer
      • Don't beat yourself up........... - sm
        • His father is his problem - - anon
          • Yep, I thought daddyo might play a huge part in - all of this...... been there! nm
      • what does it matter - corner of time
    • Your mother gave you the best gift of all - SM
    • This mom is lifting more than one finger - BTDT
  • you can say no, it really is okay - BTDT
  • my kids aren't grown yet, but - thinking i'll stay ex-MQ
  • You have to learn to say - SM
  • I had the same problem wtih both sm - MT forever it seems

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