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I think you totally understand

Posted By: need advice on 2008-04-14
In Reply to: My husband and I still have these - mtroadie

I think my fiance is very stressed out about how we are going to make it - he doesn't really have an income right now - he does have a 200 acre farm - has always bought and sold real estate and farmed but neither are going well now. He would like to start his own business but that is scary right now too - he doesn't want to go back to working in a factory but may end up having to do that - and I work for the Q - so not a ton of money there.. lol. . We are also thinking about building a house - lumber prices are low right now and we should be buying that and getting started but, again, he is scared of how we will pay for it. Personally, I don't care if we build a house or stay in my tiny old house. . . I think he gets so stressed out and upset with himself that he takes it out on me - and then I don't handle it well. . I am going to try to do better - my way of handling it is to go off by myself - which is good for me but he sees it as rejection of him or something. . anyway - thank you for your words of wisdom. .


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Totally understand that one!

!


Well I totally understand, LOL.
Naps are good.
I can totally understand this idea..sm
My husband and I do not sleep in the same bed. He is one of these people that does not require a lot of sleep. He is up and down all night. He watches TV, does the work that he brings home, eats, et cetera. When we used to be in the same room I was up all night with him...and I was not a happy camper!! We spend out evenings with the kids and then when they go off to bed we have our alone time for a couple of hours and then I am off to bed. Because of his job he has a lot of work to do at home, but since he is up at night he does it then and it doesnt interfere with out time as a family. The arrangement is not bad for the right reasons. I dont agree with separate bedrooms if there is no love left in the marriage and two people are only staying together for the kids. Totally different in my opinion.
I totally understand your frustration sm
but 900 parents in a timely fashion? I used to sub in a small elementary school (average #of students 200) and it was still a huge headache when there was a problem (schools closing early due to flooding). Most parents of course knew about the flooding because they lived in the area but it was still total chaos. In our area the TV runs a crawl across the bottom of the screen announcing when a school is closing early. I know that we as parents are not responsible for watching TV for "in case info", but I think in the case of a fire I am not sure I would want people staying in the building to look at paperwork.
I totally understand how you feel...sm
I too felt that way until I came to know some pits. I realized they acted like any other dog. I won't lie. All pits can be dangerous because of their capabilities. But I know many owners who have never had problems with this breed including my dad and great grandfather. Mine is just a big hunk of love. Hes nothing like you would think when you think of a pitbull. He is so tenderhearted. To me, he is just CJ, my heart. I think you have a right to your feelings but I have a right to mine and I love this dog and in my heart I know he would not hurt me or my family. He has had so many opportunities to kill when attacked by smaller dogs and he never did. Many times he would just walk off and look pitiful.
I totally understand the statement
of she was a stay at home mom. This profession never started out to be a stay at home job, in fact after all my years which are almost 40 now, I have only worked from home now for the past 7 and not sent home because I wanted to, but because the hospital decided they could use the room where the MT people were. Many, many postings I have seen have to deal with the fact of taking the job in order to stay home with the kids, common theme here and if that is what women hoped for, then that is the way they are looked at. I know just taking the time to feed my cats with them meowing underneath, I would hate to think of having to feed and tend to small children, babies or the like. Something will suffer, the kids or the job? I really do not believe anyone who says they can work around babies, kids to do this job, not and make a decent living.
I totally agree...no one can understand this job but us MT Moms...
no breaks from anything...but I love working at home and wouldn't change it for the world...even if my kids do drive me crazy on a daily basis---LOL...part of the job...
I totally understand your point but people saying itch when they mean scratch
.
Oh my gosh...I totally understand about the no common sense part...
like his brain stopped working when he hit 9 or something...I am constantly telling him "use your brain." But honestly, it is nice to hear other parents going through the same thing, because my husband and I thought maybe it was just our son---LOL...
Amen Sister! She is totally unrealistic! Totally. Loved your post! sm
My grandparents (from VT), will tell you that my grandfather began farming at 6-7 under the supervision of his 10 year old brother. haha No major incidents - his mother tended the home and ran a nursery and she did have the siblings watch over each other. I didn't even think about all of this until you mentioned the farming post. I loved it!

I, for one, need plenty of sleep - so I must work during the day while they are here...Oops, I gottah go! My 2 year old just fell off the kitchen table.



just kidding
Totally, totally agree.
You feel inadequate and no matter what you do - you feel like it is not enough - and that is depression. Get on some medication, or get some therapy and start taking time for yourself and enjoy life. Been there and done that myself - STOP FEELING GUILTY - you deserve better!!
Totally against the war
said it right from the start, told my husband the war was of no use, more and more that is being proven true, hate that young guys are being killed there day after day, the middle east never had as many bombings as they do on a day to day basis now, blood being shed all over the place, the house not wanting to give more money for a no win war, I lived through Viet Nam, no difference here, just different land. Mark my word, different president, the war will be a thing of the past and yet all these fine lives lost.
I am totally
terrified of the draft. I posted earlier about my son wanting to go to Africa next summer and me not really wanting to let him go. I guess you know what my answer would be to the above question so I guess I shouldn't say anything at all.
I was totally going to say
me too!

Oh, but what I've gained ...

(I'll think of something).
Totally think it is really none of your
business that they are working. You don't have any authority and your supervisor is the one to tell them NOT to work. If they have been told not to work and they are, that is between them and the employer.
totally.
My imagination is way too fertile. When someone tells me they are "trying to get pregnant" or they remember the moment their kids were conceived, it's exactly like showing me photos of the deed. Photos I'd way rather not see. ick.
I totally get what you are saying sm
and feel 100% the same way. If I had the means financially, I would help whomever and whenever, my hubby feels the same. However, to not respond to someone who is reaching out to you, I feel, is unforgivable. I would also like to say, give it some more time - you don't know what the situation is and I feel someone who has as big a heart as you obviously have, should hold it open just a little longer.
i understand
I have just become single again and have 2 kids.  What I believe is that obviously we have spent so many years doing "kid stuff", going to the grocery, errands, etc. that we have a hard time hooking up with single guys because we lose sight of who we are beyond mom, household manager, etc.  Try to remember or imagine what you would be doing if you didn't have kids and resosibilities or had time to do it.  Whether it is rafting, reading and discussing things, being at a college class, hiking or some particular sport or interest(chess club, rock climbing, etc) you HAVE to make an effort to do these things, even if it constrained by time and $$hook up with a free group and devote a few hours a week to it.  THEN eventually you'll be in the place to meet the person you would hang out with even if you weren't a mom. 
"
I understand....
I worked away from home until just recently. The pressures to "donate" are horrible. My friend and I finally decided that we would allocate "X" amount of dollars for giving, once gone, the well was dry. Saying "NO" is not easy, and the repayment of debt falls in your lap.

You are probably more talented than you realize. Be creative if you work from home. Work hours while the children are asleep, or see if you can work split shifts to accomodate your children's schedule.

If you are unable to pay back on the taxes you owe right away, just attach a signed letter with your tax papers requesting a payment plan. You can set it up to reflect a reasonable monthly payment, include the first payment, and the IRS will work with you.

If you are incurring (sp?) debt, make sure that it is for something useful that is going to last for a while.
I understand what you are saying, but
I don't have a husband or significant other either, and when I did I still took out the trash, mowed the lawn, and what is snuggling?  When the lump on the sofa was asked to leave, the only thing I missed was having to tell him to move to the other side. 
I understand what you are saying, but did --sm
you read my post at all? How can one make *good food choices* when the govt. makes that impossible to do? I eat all organic these days, when ever possible. I eat lean red meat once a week. I eat a lot of veggies and fruits and try to find something that does not have HFCS in it...which is terribly difficult to do. It is a losing battle when all the cards are stacked against you. My vice is not food or overeating. My vice is what the govt inflicts on unsuspecting and disbelieving people who think that obesity is a choice...it isn't. and neither is diabetes or hypothyroidism. Good food choices do NOT override this condition. This condition was inflicted on me by money grubbing *professionals* who have their heads where the sun don't shine. If you think todays doctors and pharmaceuticals have our best interests at heart, you are an ostrich. Research it and do not *assume* that being overweight is a choice. it isn't. and simply making *good food choices* is not going to change that fact. JMO
He may not really understand what an IC is--sm
and he is concerned about future income, but really all he needs to be concerned with would be your income tax statement from last year. Personally I don't think he should need that type of letter, just proof of income, which would be tax statement. that is all. JMO
don't understand
If you bought a certain piece of furniture why is bidding involved and why does it have to be done on courthouse steps in the public and all that?   By all means, do what the law says -- sure sounds like they're on your side.  But getting a news station involved isn't a bad idea either.  These people sound like crooks and the public needs to know.  Even just a friend with a video camera to send a film of it all into a station with the hopes of a reporter followup to keep others from being tricked too.  And I sure think you should get something for mental pain and aggravation and loss of interest on your money. 
From what I understand
nobody was "demanding" anything, they were making do just fine with the sinks. This was done because people complained about the sinks being used for this purpose. I guess I just don't get what the big deal is.

People are so afraid that immigrants are going to somehow take over the country, its like this big "us versus them" mentality- its just silly. What, are you worried that they will do what WE did when we "discovered" America to begin with? You know, we are all immigrants here when you think about it.


I understand about all that too
but they found no reason for my miscarriage and knowing all that still didn't help the pain or grief of losing the babies after trying for so long, and everybody doesn't just get pregnant again right after. I didn't. I was just blessed that God gave them to me in a diffent way
I do not understand what you mean?
A bite itself itches, you can scratch an itch but you cannot itch an itch. I would think that is a backwoodsy type statement if you said it.
I just don't understand this
First, my husband would not dare do this to me or my kids. This man obviously has no respect for anybody. And that is what I would tell your daughter's friend's parents, along with if it keeps up you'll divorce him! And I'd tell him the same exact thing. But if mine did this just once, I can assure you it would not happen again, after I got through with him.
What most of you do not understand
being as you are young and are able to work from home, years ago, well gosh as early as the early 90s, if I wanted a job and I had to have to raise children (not a single mother, a divorced woman) we had to work outside the house, did not have a choice. I am so very glad my kids are not in the toddler, preteen or teen years. The ones I see now are awful. Just in one of those box stores last night and I heard screaming, could tell not just 1 but several kids and finally here comes the mothers pushing and pulling several different ages of children along and the mothers, I guess, thought it was really cute that their kids could scream and act out like they were doing, the mothers actually smiling. Thank goodness, no more rug rats to raise.
You still don't understand. (sm)
A narcicist is not capable of being a friend. Divorcing him will be an insult to him and he will want to prove it is all your fault. Therefore you need a good lawyer to see if he can build a case to show that he is so bad for you and your children than he does not deserve visitation. You are going to need evidence, I'm sure.

Don't trust your own judgement the next time you are considering marriage - get a psychiatrist to evaluate any future husband for your own protection. You and your kids have been through enough, and I've read a lot of cases of women marrying the same type over and over again.
I understand

You have to feel that you've done everything possible to make your marriage work, so that if and when you decide to separate, it will be with the knowledge that there really isn't any other alternative for you.


The fact that your husband got excited about having a second chance is a good sign. Just don't let him slip back into his old ways. If he makes one demeaning remark to you, stop him cold in his tracks and tell him, "No more if you want this marriage to continue."


 Be firm, be steady, and good luck!


I understand

But look what happened during Prohibition. And look at the availability of illegal drugs. It's a nice thought, but I don't think it would work.


 


I don't really understand.............
I just know nothing would keep my mom from her grandchildren, even if she stopped speaking to her children and their spouses completely.
I think that is how I understand it, but
if someone else has them,(and how did they get them?) he (OJ) cannot just break-in to that person's room and take those items back. He should have notified the cops that this person had items belonging to him, stating the situation and go from there. I guess he thinks he is above the law after getting away with MURDER.
I'm not sure I understand what you

mean by associated, but it sounds like you did not pull the file from the disk into the transcription module.  I did take a look under settings and then the files tab, where it shows the types of files ExpressScribe plays and where you check the box/es of the file types you will be transcribing.  I did not see the one that you mentioned there, but just wanted to suggest that you could try converting the file using a program like GoldWave (free download) to something that is compatible.  I usually convert to .wma files, which have always played fine on either of my modules (Olympus and ES).


Hope that helps, and good luck! 


I understand....
I'm not telling everybody to not get it, just making sure they know all the side effects. I just tend to be overly cautious! :)
Hey, now I understand about no
respect by what you just wrote. You answered my question completely.
As I understand this...sm
these crosses were erected on PUBLIC land, not privately owned land. I can sure understand you being against roadside memorials though, in your situation, but this one is different, as it is public land and not hurting anybody..however, if it is violating some sort of state or city law, the laws should be adhered to, in my opinion.
I don't understand. Do you want to
leave him or stay with him. Sounds like you are miserable there. Maybe he was thinking the same thing and just afraid to be the first one to bring it up. If you are going to stay with him, then things have to change on BOTH sides.
I so understand, there too
It is good to hear someone with the same problem as me.  My daughter died 12 years ago and sometimes it just hits me real bad, a sound, a memory, a smell, and it all comes rushing back.  No one can understand unless they too have lost a child.  I feel for you.  This time of year is always so hard. 
I understand
Maybe he just wants more space and to get away from little brother - sounds like it's going to be a good situation for him - and probably his sister too..
I understand
I understand this, it is very frustrating, but it is also frustrating to have a child with asthma, who is 16 and very responsible, not be allowed to carry an inhaler with her at school, I had to appeal to the school board and get special permission, they gave in only after I, in no uncertain terms and with a not from an attorney, told them that if anything happened to her, they would be legally responsible. The kids are to leave inhalers in the office and if they need them, they are to contact the office - if you have an asthma attack, there is not time to go from one building to another and request your medication, sometimes I think the schools have no brains and they are in charge of our kids?
I understand
about the 14yr old. My DD just turned 15 and it takes about 30 minutes each morning before we find out if she is going to be 15, 5yrs old, or even 25yrs old on any given day. WHEW!!
Not really, because you don’t understand
He was NOT talking about women per se, he was saying YOUNG women under the age of 35. I did not vote, this is not a political board issue, it was merely about a talk show program that I felt was way off base. I am 65 and like I said, my female family members always worked (my grandmother in her 20s on) and my aunts, mother, etc. We never felt like a man or anyone else should take care of us, married or not. That is what I am saying. I only know of 1 female that I have ever heard say this. You might be from a younger group (like he was talking about) that feels someone should take care of them, ??
I understand
My parents divorced after 27 years of marriage.  I was so angry at my dad for leaving mom.  It was hard to see mother hurting like she was and dad not doing anything to fix it.  I agree with the poster below, the best thing is to forgive him.  You love them both and do want to see either one hurt (believe it or not dad is hurting too).  This new lady friend will either get tired of him or he will wake up and seeing that he is being used, then where will he be?  Please try not to be angry with your dad but, and I know that it is hard, to love him. 
OH, now I understand! :-)
Well, that can really put a damper on things.  Lots of other choices out there.  Good luck! 
I can understand
why her mom would think that. I'm sure it is not something that people would generally think of being done intentionally. (I use that term loosely as I don't think psych issues are intentional which this may be.) If she has been aware of it then it might be a good idea for you to try to talk to her mom about it. She could be very frustrated with it and who knows how many doctor's are familiar this such a disorder (or whatever might be going on with her). Maybe this could be a starting point for mom to get her some help. I hope it all works out. I will keep my fingers crossed! :)
I do understand.

I understand that you were trying to avoid litigation on this matter, but the bottom line is either you avoid it or you don't.  There is no in-between.  Did the hospital file your daughter's visit to your insurance already?  If so, what would you do with the $800 that the dog owner would give you?


I don't mean to be skeptical, but a very similar situation happened to my brother.  He has 2 dogs - family dogs, mind you - a golden retriever and a lab, both on the small side.  He had friends over and his friend's child was playing with the dog in my brother's house.  The dog got excited and jumped up on the child (who was about 7 years old), catching his claw on the child's lower lip.  It tore the skin, but nothing severe enough to require stitches or anything. 


My brother's friend immediately wanted to take the child to the hospital.  He even called from the hospital telling my brother about the treatment his child would need.  My brother was very empathetic and concerned over the child's condition.  Then the friend told him he would be getting the bill.  My brother did get the bill, but when he contacted the hospital to pay it, the hospital told him it was already paid by the insurance company.  My brother then contacted his friend, who said he could just make the check out to him and he would see to it that it got to the insurance.  Yeah, right.


People in this world are always looking for a way to get something for nothing.  I hope that's not the case here, and I apologize wholeheartedly if it isn't.  In any event, I hope your daughter heals without scars, emotionally or physically.  I have a feeling if you take this to court, your daughter will be reliving this nightmare for a long time to come.  I would be more concerned about getting the dog impounded than I would be about lining your pockets.


I don't understand why you had to ask that one . . . nm
nm
I think I understand sm
The Bible thing hits home with me, I go through it all the time, some of my family carries it in their car and they believed they are "saved" and I am not. Unfortunately, I have been victimized the other way around, DIL's have "found" the right path, I am Catholic and "not saved" and have noticed an almost but not complete "banning" such as not answering my calls, etc., even though I have in the past been a savior during hard times and it's very hurtful, so I am very "raw" when it comes to this subject. I think back to when I resented my MIL and feel I am being "punished" but I truly do not deserve this, I never discuss religion, etc., my grandkids love me and I am tired of the excuses because they are hurting, they actually tell me they're sorry they can't see me more often. So I'm speaking from a broken heart. Do what you have to do. If your Mom won't listen to reason, then you've done your best to try. I am just being shut out with no explanation but I know where it's coming from with the "newly-found" Bible-based new testament. I have stopped going to church myself and am I know if I were told not to behave in a certain way, believe me, I would bend over backwards to play by the rules. I am just being given the cold shoulder I don't deserve, so as I said, this is a raw, touchy subject for me and I wish someone would talk to me about it, as I would even change religions just to be closer to the kids. They miss me and I miss them, it's a heartbreak. Your situation is different and you have to set some rules. She should be grateful that you are opening up and telling her what is bothering you. I am just a victim of a "silent war" and being pushed out, so don't listen to me, I'm in too much pain and I should take myself out of the equation. Good luck with everything, your kids don't need this swearing on the Bible thing, it's not normal. I pray that your Mom sees the light and loves the kids enough to change her ways. I''m just sad about my own situation. This shouldn't happen to a dog. But it did.
I understand, believe me!
Here's what I do during those company-coming crises!

Make a list of all I want done. Break it down into weekly tasks. Meter the weekly tasks out and include ALL FAMILY MEMBERS -- they all live there and dirty it up, they can all help clean it up! Just start now and do a countdown. You can get it done. Organization will help immensely.

I understand, believe me!
They're not helping? Oooooo, no meals cooked, laundry done or picking up after them, then!

Kids big enough to walk to/from school? Let 'em if they're not willing to help.

Until they start helping me, I'm not helping them!

A functioning family unit is not where the papa makes some money and comes home and does what he wants while the kids go to school and come in and do what they want while mama works, cleans, cooks, does the housework, shopping and carting kids around and never gets to do what she wants!

Nope, nope, nope!

Be strong!! MAKE them do it! Otherwise, schedule your dinner at a local restaurant and meet everyone there! AND DON'T TAKE ANYONE WHO REFUSED TO HELP!! Hot dogs for them on Turkey Day! LOL