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I understand your frustration

Posted By: sm on 2008-07-01
In Reply to: Need to vent sm - MT

Your daughter is entitled to pain and suffering, should you pursue it.  Your medical bills, however, should be covered by your medical insurance IMO.  That's what it's there for.  I don't see the dog owner as benefitting from this.  If you weren't able to find the owner of the dog or it was your own dog that bit your child, you would use your medical insurance to cover it. 


You didn't mention whether the owner of the dog is a friend or neighbor or just some random person.  You also didn't mention how severe and/or the location where your child was bit.  I also have to wonder if part of your anger isn't coming from the possibility that the dog owner never formally apologized or asked about the welfare of your child. 


Just some things to think about.  I know what it's like to feel anger over someone hurting your child, and that's part of the natural instincts as parents.  I hope your daughter is doing well and will be able to overcome her fear of dogs eventually.




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i can understand your frustration sm

i have a 1st grader and a 4th grader.  4th grade is a little more strict than what i expected. they have homework every night except friday nights.  monday he had homework in every single subject.  i think it's rediculous to give them so much to do.  i weighed his backpack and it was 15 pounds.  it might not sound like much, but it is heavy.


it sounds like the teacher is being way too picky.  if you have problems and they keep on, i would definitely talk with the teacher.  we pay their paychecks. 


good luck.


I understand your frustration, but I mean to let one's
anger out on innocent animals and babies, I do not think that women do this; there are always exceptions.
If one has to let off steam and get violent, then do it on material things, not on animals or humans. Women usually do this.
There are a lot of male serial killers, but a female serial killer is rare.
I understand your frustration too...sm
and as an MT who works on an account with someone similar to this, I know exactly what you are talking about. My coworker, so called MT, is so focused on being "fast" and trying to see how many people she can out do as far as lines go, that her quality just goes out the window. I see so many of her reports that are total cr*p. I don't know how she can even call herself an MT. Unfortunately, I have tried pointing out her errors, mistakes, and utter sheer disregard for client protocols to management and all that served to do was to bring more scrutiny to my own reports. I am not perfect either, but at least the client actually ASKED that I do all of their dictations. That has to say something. But management does not want to do anything about it. At least you still care about what your client wants. You sound like you are ready to do the right thing. Maybe this MT you have is the same coworker I have! oh, heaven forbid! I totally understand and support your decision!
I totally understand your frustration sm
but 900 parents in a timely fashion? I used to sub in a small elementary school (average #of students 200) and it was still a huge headache when there was a problem (schools closing early due to flooding). Most parents of course knew about the flooding because they lived in the area but it was still total chaos. In our area the TV runs a crawl across the bottom of the screen announcing when a school is closing early. I know that we as parents are not responsible for watching TV for "in case info", but I think in the case of a fire I am not sure I would want people staying in the building to look at paperwork.
I can completely understand your frustration ..sm

My husband has 2 sisters and 3 brothers, all now over the age of 38 and besides my husband and his oldest brother, none of the others work.  It is just amazing to me.  On top of that, his youngest sister (the baby in the family) and her husband smoke and deal meth.  He was actually involved in a meth explosion 3 years ago, almost died but now he is able to collect social security, over $3000 a month to say the least.  When he was involved in that, DFCS removed the children from the home and my husband and I ended up with their 5-year-old daughter for 1-1/2 years.  Okay, that's off the point and a completely totally different vent for some other time, lol.


Anway, what I am getting at is this.  Just like your ex, none of them work, they all live on land (with us) that has been in the family for over 100 years.  Two of the brothers still live in the main house with their parents, none of them employed, and then the meth addict sister and her husband live in a small dump just in front of the main house.  They all lay around all day and do absolutely nothing.  It just amazes me.  Come Friday and Saturday nights though they are out partying and having a big time.  The one collecting social security disability for being blown up in a meth lab explosion, who supposedly will never be able to hold another job because of this, goes fishing, hunting (and yes he CARRIES a portable stand into the woods, plus his gun), works on the junk cars in the yard, which still don't run of course.  It just really steams me that he is collecting social security disability for doing something illegally and he is DEFINITELY capable of obtaining employment (these deer stands that he carry into the woods are well over 100 pounds, plus a gun).  I have reported him MANY, MANY, MANY times to the social security administration but it is hopeless. 


This does not even begin to skim the surface with these people but my point is that I completely understand your frustration.  My husband has been in law enforcement for almost 25 years (before you ask, yes he has arrested his own brother and sister, one for DUI twice and the little sister 3 times for meth) and I have been doing MT work for over 23 years, working our behinds off to provide for our kids and then we sit back and see these people who never work, who continuously have kids, do not provide for them, they are constantly breaking the law, in and out of jail and yet, while it is definitely not the life of luxury, they never seem to have a care in the world, do not work and even manage to go on vacation 3 or 4 times a year.  Seriously, what is wrong with this picture!! 


I understand your frustration-I also feel sorry for the little girl (sm)
This should be a sign that she is not being taken good care of. However, unless they are being really abused I think kids are always better off with their real parents. It's just so sad. I had them as a child...my mother tried to get rid of them but if your house is a big mess like ours was, it is hard to get rid of them all for good. I wore a coat with a hood on all day every day to school because I was so ashamed. I don't know the answer, I feel for you and for the poor child.
I feel your frustration
I need to see a gynecologist for the first time. My GP has always taken care of the pelvic exams for me in the past, but now I need birth control and can't use hormones. We had snow this week, so offices were closed two days and then they all close early or never bother to open at all on Friday. I'd been waiting and waiting to get a call back about my new-patient appointment, and never got the call. Called again and was told she doesn't see new patients at that location anymore. So now I have to find somebody else, and it was Friday afternoon. The one place that could see me was booked until April. Do what?
i understand
I have just become single again and have 2 kids.  What I believe is that obviously we have spent so many years doing "kid stuff", going to the grocery, errands, etc. that we have a hard time hooking up with single guys because we lose sight of who we are beyond mom, household manager, etc.  Try to remember or imagine what you would be doing if you didn't have kids and resosibilities or had time to do it.  Whether it is rafting, reading and discussing things, being at a college class, hiking or some particular sport or interest(chess club, rock climbing, etc) you HAVE to make an effort to do these things, even if it constrained by time and $$hook up with a free group and devote a few hours a week to it.  THEN eventually you'll be in the place to meet the person you would hang out with even if you weren't a mom. 
"
I understand....
I worked away from home until just recently. The pressures to "donate" are horrible. My friend and I finally decided that we would allocate "X" amount of dollars for giving, once gone, the well was dry. Saying "NO" is not easy, and the repayment of debt falls in your lap.

You are probably more talented than you realize. Be creative if you work from home. Work hours while the children are asleep, or see if you can work split shifts to accomodate your children's schedule.

If you are unable to pay back on the taxes you owe right away, just attach a signed letter with your tax papers requesting a payment plan. You can set it up to reflect a reasonable monthly payment, include the first payment, and the IRS will work with you.

If you are incurring (sp?) debt, make sure that it is for something useful that is going to last for a while.
I understand what you are saying, but
I don't have a husband or significant other either, and when I did I still took out the trash, mowed the lawn, and what is snuggling?  When the lump on the sofa was asked to leave, the only thing I missed was having to tell him to move to the other side. 
I understand what you are saying, but did --sm
you read my post at all? How can one make *good food choices* when the govt. makes that impossible to do? I eat all organic these days, when ever possible. I eat lean red meat once a week. I eat a lot of veggies and fruits and try to find something that does not have HFCS in it...which is terribly difficult to do. It is a losing battle when all the cards are stacked against you. My vice is not food or overeating. My vice is what the govt inflicts on unsuspecting and disbelieving people who think that obesity is a choice...it isn't. and neither is diabetes or hypothyroidism. Good food choices do NOT override this condition. This condition was inflicted on me by money grubbing *professionals* who have their heads where the sun don't shine. If you think todays doctors and pharmaceuticals have our best interests at heart, you are an ostrich. Research it and do not *assume* that being overweight is a choice. it isn't. and simply making *good food choices* is not going to change that fact. JMO
He may not really understand what an IC is--sm
and he is concerned about future income, but really all he needs to be concerned with would be your income tax statement from last year. Personally I don't think he should need that type of letter, just proof of income, which would be tax statement. that is all. JMO
don't understand
If you bought a certain piece of furniture why is bidding involved and why does it have to be done on courthouse steps in the public and all that?   By all means, do what the law says -- sure sounds like they're on your side.  But getting a news station involved isn't a bad idea either.  These people sound like crooks and the public needs to know.  Even just a friend with a video camera to send a film of it all into a station with the hopes of a reporter followup to keep others from being tricked too.  And I sure think you should get something for mental pain and aggravation and loss of interest on your money. 
From what I understand
nobody was "demanding" anything, they were making do just fine with the sinks. This was done because people complained about the sinks being used for this purpose. I guess I just don't get what the big deal is.

People are so afraid that immigrants are going to somehow take over the country, its like this big "us versus them" mentality- its just silly. What, are you worried that they will do what WE did when we "discovered" America to begin with? You know, we are all immigrants here when you think about it.


I understand about all that too
but they found no reason for my miscarriage and knowing all that still didn't help the pain or grief of losing the babies after trying for so long, and everybody doesn't just get pregnant again right after. I didn't. I was just blessed that God gave them to me in a diffent way
I do not understand what you mean?
A bite itself itches, you can scratch an itch but you cannot itch an itch. I would think that is a backwoodsy type statement if you said it.
I just don't understand this
First, my husband would not dare do this to me or my kids. This man obviously has no respect for anybody. And that is what I would tell your daughter's friend's parents, along with if it keeps up you'll divorce him! And I'd tell him the same exact thing. But if mine did this just once, I can assure you it would not happen again, after I got through with him.
What most of you do not understand
being as you are young and are able to work from home, years ago, well gosh as early as the early 90s, if I wanted a job and I had to have to raise children (not a single mother, a divorced woman) we had to work outside the house, did not have a choice. I am so very glad my kids are not in the toddler, preteen or teen years. The ones I see now are awful. Just in one of those box stores last night and I heard screaming, could tell not just 1 but several kids and finally here comes the mothers pushing and pulling several different ages of children along and the mothers, I guess, thought it was really cute that their kids could scream and act out like they were doing, the mothers actually smiling. Thank goodness, no more rug rats to raise.
You still don't understand. (sm)
A narcicist is not capable of being a friend. Divorcing him will be an insult to him and he will want to prove it is all your fault. Therefore you need a good lawyer to see if he can build a case to show that he is so bad for you and your children than he does not deserve visitation. You are going to need evidence, I'm sure.

Don't trust your own judgement the next time you are considering marriage - get a psychiatrist to evaluate any future husband for your own protection. You and your kids have been through enough, and I've read a lot of cases of women marrying the same type over and over again.
I understand

You have to feel that you've done everything possible to make your marriage work, so that if and when you decide to separate, it will be with the knowledge that there really isn't any other alternative for you.


The fact that your husband got excited about having a second chance is a good sign. Just don't let him slip back into his old ways. If he makes one demeaning remark to you, stop him cold in his tracks and tell him, "No more if you want this marriage to continue."


 Be firm, be steady, and good luck!


I understand

But look what happened during Prohibition. And look at the availability of illegal drugs. It's a nice thought, but I don't think it would work.


 


I don't really understand.............
I just know nothing would keep my mom from her grandchildren, even if she stopped speaking to her children and their spouses completely.
I think that is how I understand it, but
if someone else has them,(and how did they get them?) he (OJ) cannot just break-in to that person's room and take those items back. He should have notified the cops that this person had items belonging to him, stating the situation and go from there. I guess he thinks he is above the law after getting away with MURDER.
I'm not sure I understand what you

mean by associated, but it sounds like you did not pull the file from the disk into the transcription module.  I did take a look under settings and then the files tab, where it shows the types of files ExpressScribe plays and where you check the box/es of the file types you will be transcribing.  I did not see the one that you mentioned there, but just wanted to suggest that you could try converting the file using a program like GoldWave (free download) to something that is compatible.  I usually convert to .wma files, which have always played fine on either of my modules (Olympus and ES).


Hope that helps, and good luck! 


I understand....
I'm not telling everybody to not get it, just making sure they know all the side effects. I just tend to be overly cautious! :)
Hey, now I understand about no
respect by what you just wrote. You answered my question completely.
As I understand this...sm
these crosses were erected on PUBLIC land, not privately owned land. I can sure understand you being against roadside memorials though, in your situation, but this one is different, as it is public land and not hurting anybody..however, if it is violating some sort of state or city law, the laws should be adhered to, in my opinion.
I don't understand. Do you want to
leave him or stay with him. Sounds like you are miserable there. Maybe he was thinking the same thing and just afraid to be the first one to bring it up. If you are going to stay with him, then things have to change on BOTH sides.
I so understand, there too
It is good to hear someone with the same problem as me.  My daughter died 12 years ago and sometimes it just hits me real bad, a sound, a memory, a smell, and it all comes rushing back.  No one can understand unless they too have lost a child.  I feel for you.  This time of year is always so hard. 
I understand
Maybe he just wants more space and to get away from little brother - sounds like it's going to be a good situation for him - and probably his sister too..
I understand
I understand this, it is very frustrating, but it is also frustrating to have a child with asthma, who is 16 and very responsible, not be allowed to carry an inhaler with her at school, I had to appeal to the school board and get special permission, they gave in only after I, in no uncertain terms and with a not from an attorney, told them that if anything happened to her, they would be legally responsible. The kids are to leave inhalers in the office and if they need them, they are to contact the office - if you have an asthma attack, there is not time to go from one building to another and request your medication, sometimes I think the schools have no brains and they are in charge of our kids?
I understand
about the 14yr old. My DD just turned 15 and it takes about 30 minutes each morning before we find out if she is going to be 15, 5yrs old, or even 25yrs old on any given day. WHEW!!
Not really, because you don’t understand
He was NOT talking about women per se, he was saying YOUNG women under the age of 35. I did not vote, this is not a political board issue, it was merely about a talk show program that I felt was way off base. I am 65 and like I said, my female family members always worked (my grandmother in her 20s on) and my aunts, mother, etc. We never felt like a man or anyone else should take care of us, married or not. That is what I am saying. I only know of 1 female that I have ever heard say this. You might be from a younger group (like he was talking about) that feels someone should take care of them, ??
I understand
My parents divorced after 27 years of marriage.  I was so angry at my dad for leaving mom.  It was hard to see mother hurting like she was and dad not doing anything to fix it.  I agree with the poster below, the best thing is to forgive him.  You love them both and do want to see either one hurt (believe it or not dad is hurting too).  This new lady friend will either get tired of him or he will wake up and seeing that he is being used, then where will he be?  Please try not to be angry with your dad but, and I know that it is hard, to love him. 
OH, now I understand! :-)
Well, that can really put a damper on things.  Lots of other choices out there.  Good luck! 
I can understand
why her mom would think that. I'm sure it is not something that people would generally think of being done intentionally. (I use that term loosely as I don't think psych issues are intentional which this may be.) If she has been aware of it then it might be a good idea for you to try to talk to her mom about it. She could be very frustrated with it and who knows how many doctor's are familiar this such a disorder (or whatever might be going on with her). Maybe this could be a starting point for mom to get her some help. I hope it all works out. I will keep my fingers crossed! :)
I do understand.

I understand that you were trying to avoid litigation on this matter, but the bottom line is either you avoid it or you don't.  There is no in-between.  Did the hospital file your daughter's visit to your insurance already?  If so, what would you do with the $800 that the dog owner would give you?


I don't mean to be skeptical, but a very similar situation happened to my brother.  He has 2 dogs - family dogs, mind you - a golden retriever and a lab, both on the small side.  He had friends over and his friend's child was playing with the dog in my brother's house.  The dog got excited and jumped up on the child (who was about 7 years old), catching his claw on the child's lower lip.  It tore the skin, but nothing severe enough to require stitches or anything. 


My brother's friend immediately wanted to take the child to the hospital.  He even called from the hospital telling my brother about the treatment his child would need.  My brother was very empathetic and concerned over the child's condition.  Then the friend told him he would be getting the bill.  My brother did get the bill, but when he contacted the hospital to pay it, the hospital told him it was already paid by the insurance company.  My brother then contacted his friend, who said he could just make the check out to him and he would see to it that it got to the insurance.  Yeah, right.


People in this world are always looking for a way to get something for nothing.  I hope that's not the case here, and I apologize wholeheartedly if it isn't.  In any event, I hope your daughter heals without scars, emotionally or physically.  I have a feeling if you take this to court, your daughter will be reliving this nightmare for a long time to come.  I would be more concerned about getting the dog impounded than I would be about lining your pockets.


I don't understand why you had to ask that one . . . nm
nm
I think I understand sm
The Bible thing hits home with me, I go through it all the time, some of my family carries it in their car and they believed they are "saved" and I am not. Unfortunately, I have been victimized the other way around, DIL's have "found" the right path, I am Catholic and "not saved" and have noticed an almost but not complete "banning" such as not answering my calls, etc., even though I have in the past been a savior during hard times and it's very hurtful, so I am very "raw" when it comes to this subject. I think back to when I resented my MIL and feel I am being "punished" but I truly do not deserve this, I never discuss religion, etc., my grandkids love me and I am tired of the excuses because they are hurting, they actually tell me they're sorry they can't see me more often. So I'm speaking from a broken heart. Do what you have to do. If your Mom won't listen to reason, then you've done your best to try. I am just being shut out with no explanation but I know where it's coming from with the "newly-found" Bible-based new testament. I have stopped going to church myself and am I know if I were told not to behave in a certain way, believe me, I would bend over backwards to play by the rules. I am just being given the cold shoulder I don't deserve, so as I said, this is a raw, touchy subject for me and I wish someone would talk to me about it, as I would even change religions just to be closer to the kids. They miss me and I miss them, it's a heartbreak. Your situation is different and you have to set some rules. She should be grateful that you are opening up and telling her what is bothering you. I am just a victim of a "silent war" and being pushed out, so don't listen to me, I'm in too much pain and I should take myself out of the equation. Good luck with everything, your kids don't need this swearing on the Bible thing, it's not normal. I pray that your Mom sees the light and loves the kids enough to change her ways. I''m just sad about my own situation. This shouldn't happen to a dog. But it did.
I understand, believe me!
Here's what I do during those company-coming crises!

Make a list of all I want done. Break it down into weekly tasks. Meter the weekly tasks out and include ALL FAMILY MEMBERS -- they all live there and dirty it up, they can all help clean it up! Just start now and do a countdown. You can get it done. Organization will help immensely.

I understand, believe me!
They're not helping? Oooooo, no meals cooked, laundry done or picking up after them, then!

Kids big enough to walk to/from school? Let 'em if they're not willing to help.

Until they start helping me, I'm not helping them!

A functioning family unit is not where the papa makes some money and comes home and does what he wants while the kids go to school and come in and do what they want while mama works, cleans, cooks, does the housework, shopping and carting kids around and never gets to do what she wants!

Nope, nope, nope!

Be strong!! MAKE them do it! Otherwise, schedule your dinner at a local restaurant and meet everyone there! AND DON'T TAKE ANYONE WHO REFUSED TO HELP!! Hot dogs for them on Turkey Day! LOL

You do not understand.....sm
what 99.6 percentile means.
I explained it in my former post. It means that she scored higher than 99.6 percent of all people who took the test and only 0.4 percent scored higher than her.
That means an IQ of above 150.
Do you believe this?
Einstein' was 165.
Average is 100.
Below 70 is mentally challenged.

I don't think I understand
so just let him do whatever, support his decisions, and hope for the best?

He has a good job it is just that so much of it is eaten by the attorneys, support, transportation, and crazy things the ex dreams up that the child "must" have and we are told we just have to pay it. It costs more than what I make to cover the mandatory expenses of my step-child.

I gave up our finances about a year ago to give him a taste of what it was like. Stupidly thinking this would help. Obviously it hasn't but has made things worse. I always reassure him and tell him we will get through it, etc. but when he asks me to make a decision I tell him honestly.

Recently asking if I mind if his teenage nephews come stay for the weekend I ask where is the extra money going to come from to feed them and get them to/from work as its an hour round trip. I offer maybe just one night instead of the entire weekend. Automatically that's not good enough because "they asked for the weekend." He says he doesn't know where the money will come from and he won't ask the his brother either and asks me to call and tell them no. Of course when I refuse I can tell he gets upset although he won't say it.

We don't argue about stuff its just more of one of us getting pi$$ed off until it blows over and then starting again the following week when another circumstance comes up. Honestly, I'm just getting tired of putting up. It has been nearly 10 years now but only 4 since our finances went together.

We are also expecting a child, which we could afford before the last 6 months came crashing down on us. Of course this is part of my anxiety over finances but being a man and his usual self he wants to live in la-la land until we don't have money to buy diapers.

I'm just so frustrated. Thanks for listening and letting me know that there is hope things will change. Atleast I know when the step-child becomes an adult it will be like winning the lottery!
I understand SO much what you are saying.
nm
I don't understand why it has to be this way
My SDs mom told her if I was at her graduation, she would not be, same thing for her wedding. She told all the kids if they like me that means they don't love her. My oldest SS is seeing his mother at Christmas for the first time in a year and a half, but he still holds on to her "rules" even after all these years because he so desperately wants her love.

I do treat mine differently, because THEY treat ME differently. I love my SD and was there for her any time she needed me. She made a few terrible mistakes recently and because we did not tell her it was okay, and send money, she is no longer speaking to us. Guess I now know how she really felt.

I raised these children for four years (the youngest was 18 months old she took custody of him at 6 and SD was 8). I spent more time with them than their bio mom did but because she can flash the money and make threats I'm still no better than dirt on the bottom of their shoes. My husband kept saying to have patience and wait until they grew up. Step-daughter is 18 and SS who lives with us is 15, I've been in their lives since they were 3 and 5. How long am I supposed to be treated like dirt? and what will it get me in the end? I found out with SD.....kicked to the curb.

I'm sick and tired of being disrespected by children and being expected to tolerate it because I am the step-mom and need to treat the SKs extra special so they like me someday.

Your right, there is nothing remotely romantic involved!
Believe me, I understand...
probably better than you will ever know. But, I love my dad and I understand his point of view on the situation to an extent. I do not understand the screaming and yelling, but I do understand why he is angry. Keep in mind that it does take two people to end a marriage. I hope that everything works out for you!
I understand, believe me I understand so much more than
you will ever know. She was DIVORCED. That does not mean SINGLE. All those words mean different - single, widowed, divorced. One means never married, one means spouse dies, one means you got divorced. Like talking to a bunch of first graders.
I certainly understand how you got
into such a mess.  You have no common sense!.
I understand...
In ways it still bothers me as much as I'm trying to not let it bother me. I am thinking of asking her about it but I'm not sure as sometimes it might be better to appear not affected by people like that?

The comment didn't make sense at all. I guess it bothers me because I joined myspace for it to be a positive experience to share photos and to keep in contact with family and friends who are far away and not for the silly stuff that teenagers do, you know? It also would hurt me if my children's aunt is saying negative things about me or my children. I know I have never done that about her or her children.

It's really quite sad if that is what she is doing, but I got the feeling that there was some joke they were making about my cute little babies. That is really the worst thing you can do to someone who loves their children, you know?
I understand it like this:
She is infected with the MRSA virus, but it is dormant in her because she has a strong immune system.
But to others it might be contagious, especially to those with a weak immune system.
I never can understand
how doctor's don't think one needs more than 10 minutes for a visit and that clear and complete information can be giving in two sentences.

And certainly your issue getting your records is a biggy too.

Everything is supposed to be more organinzed with technology, but it seems nothing gets taken care of properly anymore!