Is it difficult to blend or get the hang of applying it? NM
Posted By: Curious on 2008-09-12
In Reply to: Bare Minerals - Brandy
NM
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How does everyone deal with difficult, and I mean extremely difficult, people. sm
I'm not even talking about family members. Just people in general. Especially the ones who are so kind to your face but you know clearly don't like you one bit. I have a few of those in my life. UGH! And I'm so kind that it eats me up inside, but I won't dare say anything to their faces. I just come on public forums like this anonymously and vent my anger and frustration!!
I met with someone today who told me to "love them," and feed into them and show them that you are not this vile person they make you out to be. How do you do that? I'm learning that people, especially women, are just impossible to deal with. And I'm a woman!!!
I'm applying for other jobs now.
I go in for NICU secretary interview later this week. I just can't take it one more day. It has been many years of being bored out of my mind. I need to SEE people again too. Wish me luck!
Love sage in a squash soup, but no meat here. Blend in some
s
Starbucks coffee IS strong. Probably Breakfast Blend is weakest,
xx
Nice loose cotton or cotton blend gown
and NO PANTIES!!!!!!! 
That's quite difficult (sm)
The title of your post said "preaching." How do we know what your post is about so that we may avoid the religious posts as you suggested? In the title of your post, are you simply using a one-word paraphrase of the post you are responding to or are you, in fact, preaching? The only way to know is to open your post. Once opened, it's another preachy post.
To each their own!
difficult because
My 15 year old son. Everything he wants is over $200.00. But I don't buy him anything of that techno stuff, so I have to get pretty far out there and hope he loves me enough to considering it a good Christmas present anyway.
Thanks. It's been difficult but
I am now pregnant again and although I will always struggle with the loss, I have happier times to look forward to now and try not to dwell on the past.
I don't think she really meant it that way but its exactly what she did. I was more taken aback by the feeling that she still thinks it was the right thing to do, no regrets, etc. I understand life being in a difficult place and safety was an issue for her and the baby. But to justify the decision because of where her life was at the time, I don't agree. She made those decisions (good and bad) all on her own. To some extent this was a major factor for her to decide to change her life in many ways and follow a different (much better) path.
Need help with difficult child
I have 3 children, ages 11, 8 and 5. My 8-year-old has always been a difficult child, starting in early infancy. He was always fussy and became quite stubborn during his toddler years. He is now 8 years old and I really have my hands full. He can get quite mouthy with his father and me (married and live together) and has even got physical with me. He has always been physical towards his brothers and is always fighting with them. He has given his teachers a hard time as well as my parents, who spend a lot of time with him.
One time when I was driving up the highway 55 mph, he became very upset (can't remember over what now) and actually slid the van door open to jump out. I realize the child lock should have been on but wasn't due to adult passengers that weekend (is always on now). He becomes so angry so quickly, and I'm really very scared for him.
I have tried several tactics for discipline/help in this situation and nothing seems to work. Some things are short-lived results, others no result at all. We have tried rewards charts, timeouts, loss of privileges, spanking (very short-lived and didn't work anyway) as well as professional counseling with a child psychologist.
The child psychologist spent about 3 months of weekly to every-other-week sessions with my son and wasn't able to give me any insight as to why he is so angry. He indicated to me that my child definitely showed signs of anger through his drawings and behaviors, but he wasn't able to get any clear reason for it. He also seemed to be not so interested in what was causing the problem as he was in dealing with it. My take on it is that I need to know what I'm dealing with before I can begin to fix the problem.
My child has never been abused or traumatized. My parents and sister have been the only caregivers, other than myself and my husband, to care for him. My 2 other children behave fairly well. I can't understand what's going on with my son. I've tried to talk to him about it, but I can't get any answers.
I'm beginning to think he has ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) or possibly bipolar disorder. His mood swings are so severe, I never know what to expect. What really has me jammed up is that when it's just me and him or just him and his dad and he's getting all the attention, he's pretty much great. Therefore, I know he's capable of good behavior.
Has anyone else ever had a child act like this? Any ideas or suggestions? Please don't bash me, my nerves are on end already. I know I need to get this situation under control before it gets any worse. I just don't know where to turn anymore. My mom says *tough love*, but I've tried that with him and it doesn't seem to have any effect on him. Once when he really misbehaved, I put him in his room and took out all the toys and knick-knacks, so there was nothing but his bed and dressing in there. I put a door lock on the closet and shut the door. When I came back to check on him about 1/2 later, I found him lying on the floor and he had unscrewed all the knobs on his dresser. He was only 5 at the time. It's like he's trying to get even with me for something I didn't know I did to him.
Difficult child
I feel for you mom, I can't imagine! My 2 boys are pretty good, I got lucky. It sounds to me like, if he can behave for OTHER people, than it might not be a disorder. My cousin had a kid like that. If I were you, I would DEFINATELY get a 2nd opinion, it doesn't s/l the 1st person was very helpful at all. You don't just give up (not you personally, the therapist) on a child and say "I don't know why he's like that!" He should have referred you to someone else. I would see what the 2nd therapist says, and go from there. You need to find one that is willing to work with you and your child, someone you and your boy are comfortable with, who will answer your questions and not give up on you, etc. If all else fails, there is always Dr. Phil...Good luck and keep us posted!
it will be a difficult conversation obviously
At 12 and 14 they are plenty old enough to be told the absolute truth. Let them have some time to process it, and then take them for a visit.
They like to make it difficult.
And you can't do it online. So call customer service, and just say no. The service rep is trained to make various offers to get you to change your mind. Just say NO, and ask for a supervisor if you have to. You're going to have to say NO more than once, but it's your money, and you have every right to keep it in your pocket rather than give it to them.
It would be pretty difficult for me because
I was raised on a farm. As long as my parents are living, I imagine I will eat meat whenever they visit. Recently, at home my immediate family has been doing without meat, but we eat meat if we go out to eat. I think it is very healthy to go without meat, but I also think eating a little meat is perfectly healthy too. I am a little concerned about mistreatment of animals and people in factory farming/packing, so I like to eat at Chipotles and buy cage-free eggs.
Adults need one, too. Imagine how difficult it is
for parents who feel the guilt/burden of knowing they cannot provide a Christmas for their babies. I've been there. I know how it feels.
One of my resolutions for 2007 is to pay a set percentage of my gross income to a dedicated cause locally. I'm not sure yet whether I will work with the light/water company to provide assistance for those on shut-off notices (they seem to have less options than anyone else) or help provide transportation to/from doctor visits for elderly/handicapped individuals, but I am going to do something.
It's not difficult either to refuse to consume
garbage posing as information.
Your choice.
I would totally ignore them. Difficult as it is
if you do not give them a moment of attention or let them know you are offended - they will eventually stop. Why play their game - stoop to their level? Then they have won
My hubby does this work also and says it is the most difficult
job he has ever done. No - it is not physical - you are not outside in the element - but it is draining. I agree with others - put headphones on him and make him sit at your desk - just make him type a paragraph - I guarantee he will change his tune - so sorry - don't let him get to you - he obviously does not appreciate you
i also work for 2 PS..and it's a difficult surgery
and my plastic surgeons dictate the risks in detail of a brachioplasty and they also have their patients speak with other patients who have had the surgery....I have always wanted to have upper arm lifts but after working for these particular 2 docs (among many others) for 11+ years, I think not!! I would also think a *re-do* would leave even more scars/dents.......
If you came out in 1975, that had to be extremely difficult - sm
for you. I know that had to take a lot of courage and strength on your part. Good for you.
I can never put myself in someone else's shoes but I can speak as a mother and a friend. The stigma that goes with the word "gay" needs to just disappear. It's getting better but has a long way to go.
When my son came out, I explained to him that like anything else outside the "normal" is going to take some time for people to really accept. Fortunately, there are many people who already do accept the lifestyle, even if isn't one they share.
We accept it because we love the people for who they are, not how they live.
Good for you. No condemnation from me.
Hi, it is difficult to restore shine when it is gone, but...sm
" Eventually, no matter how diligent you are about cleaning, your no-wax
floor will lose its shine. Then, believe it or not, the best way to
make it new-looking is to wax it.
Use a water-based self-polishing
wax.
Whenever possible use a product recommended by the manufacturer.
If you don't know who the manufacturer is, get a recommendation from a
reputable flooring contractor in your area.
I agree with this poster's mother - it is difficult
Things have changed a lot and obviously it is easier now than it was when I did it (dated someone from a different race)- but there are sometimes huge cultural differences, not only in different races but in same race from very different parts of the country. A lot of traditions that you find important - someone very culturally different (same for religion for that matter) may not. You have to be thick skinned and very committed. A good partner is hard to find.
Who's the most difficult person(s) you have to buy gifts for at Christmas?
I'd have to say my mom, because if there's something she wants, she buys it herself.
This IS the absolute best way to deal with difficult people.
Unfortunately, this is the way that I have to deal with my own mother. I never tell her anything, or she broadcasts it to the world, twists information, gossips and criticizes. After about 40 years of it, I finally just stopped giving her any information about what goes on in my life, except for the very basic, surface type things. Ironically, my aunt advised me to do this, and said that most of the family has to do the very same thing!
Me too hang in. sm
I have terrible anxiety too. Being an MT, I am sure you know that anxiety/depression go hand in hand. Here is how it goes with me: I worry myself into an exhausted state of depression, one in which I could sleep around the clock. I am on Zoloft. I don't like being on medication either, but it is better than what I call going into darkness. I will be starting yoga very soon, as I think that will help me.
It took awhile to find the right med for me. Good luck to you.
Hang in there!
Hey, you just need to hang in there. I've been thinking a lot about you today and the whole situation. The fact is, you'll never know what he is doing 24/7. Like I said before, you just have to hope that his upbringing is deep rooted in there somewhere and he'll have the sense to know right from wrong. He will make mistakes in his life journey and you have to let him make those mistakes so he can grow as a person. I'd still take the car away. That is how he will learn the consequences of what he has done and when you do give the car back, he'll be more appreciative of having it. If he was paying for the car himself it would be a different story, as one writer posted. I'd just hate to see him lose his scholarship. I mean, how many people get that opportunity. My son went to the army to get money for college because we could not do it ourselves financially and he did not want to have a bunch of school loans to pay back when he was done. But to get a scholarship like that is just such a gift, I hope he doesn't blow it. Maybe mention that to him, how hard it would be financially if he had not received the scholarship. A lot of kids don't get to go to college because of the cost and are stuck in dead-end jobs. It'll all work itself out, don't worry.
Hang in there!
How about just taking 1 day off as a "me" day. That would not dent the 40 hours much. You would be surprised how a day of rest and away from the computer and transcribing would free your spirit. Do whatever your heart desires. Or do nothing. A therapist once told me that if you don't fill yourself up from time to time, you will become all worn out. Filling up means doing something just for you. So do that something just for you. And if you get too worried about taking the PTO just call in sick and make the lines up later. But don't stress. You'd be surprised how 1 day off now will make a difference for the rest of this stressful holiday month.
Good luck. There are many of us like you who understand. We are worn out too!
just hang up
:)))
Hang on to it!! LOL! NM
xx
and you can also hang one
ol-timey style over an open fire (or in a fireplace)or on a wood (box) stove. We also have one of those double-sided screen things that you can put steaks (any meat/veg) in and cook over fire.
Why don't you just hang out with
your older sister that you enjoy being with? Simple as that. Nobody is forcing you to feed your sister's cats. You probably just want to get along with everybody which isn't always possible. Just don't answer The Witches of Eastwick's phone calls or have contact with them. You sound like a very nice person but maybe too nice to your sisters and they take advantage of you. Remember, nice guys finish last and start getting a little tougher. Don't feel guilty if you chose not to have contact with your sisters. It sounds like you worry too much about what your sisters think of you. Go a week without talking to them and see if your self-esteem improves. Your sisters sound very toxic.
Good-luck and let us all know how you are doing.
Hang in there...
Just as an aside -- a girlfriend of mine was in similar situation and had him removed after years. Her kids were grade school age. Couple days after he left, kids were doing their homework at the table and the daughter, 8, said it was so quiet in the house. The boy, about 10, said "yah, this is what peace sounds like." Blew me away to hear that. I truly hope your house finds peace and you are able to take a deep breath and know what your day is going to be like - peaceful without him. Best of luck and good thoughts.
You hang in there - been there myself
I quit on May 5th 1985 at the stroke of midnight. Just was tired of paying money to keep funding the habit. Plus everything I owned smelled like cigarette smell. I got through it by eating red licorice. I would hold it like a cigarette bite both ends of and pretend I was smoking. That helped, plus living with someone who didn't smoke. the cravings lasted a long time. I don't remember how long but I got over them. Every time I wanted a cigy I'd get my mind on other things.
So just hang in there and soon you will be over it enough for it to be bearable.
Good luck and congrats.
Hang in there!
I've been where you are. That's one of the hardest habits to break. You're doing great. Every time you think you want one, just picture yourself walking into a room full of new people and not smelling like cigarette smoke. Or imagine how good food is going to taste once it's all out of your system. Or imagine how good you'll sleep 2 weeks from now.
You can do it! We're rooting for you. 
Hang in there!
First of all, he's reaching puberty and has all that to deal with. Second of all, while dad wasn't great to live with, it is probably still very hard on him to deal with such a big change. He could be having to really face the fact that dad isn't who he wants him to be, and that's so hard on kids. Even when divorce is wanted by all parties, it is still a very sad situation. Lost dreams of a "normal" life!
I have been separated/divorced from my ex-husband for 11 years now, and my 14-year-old daughter still has trouble dealing with the break. My ex rarely calls them, always lies to them, and constantly disappoints them, but she still worships the ground he walks on and treats me and my husband like total crap most of the time. My husband has been around for 10 years, since she was 4, and has tried so hard to be the father she wants/needs, but she won't let herself accept him as her father. She knows her father is a huge disappointment and not who she wants him to be, but she just can't accept it.
I wish I had better advice for you, but maybe it helps to know that it's not just you going through it. Just stand firm on your rules, compliment him on his good qualities, and show and tell him that you love him every day. That age is a hard time for children anyway and then adding divorce on top of that makes it even tougher. I doubt he even knows why he is acting the way he is --- he's just dealing with so many hormones and emotions that he isn't himself.
Just keep doing the best you can and hopefully things will get better soon!
Good luck and God bless!
Hang it up Beyonce
I think she needs to hang it up - with Jennifer doing such a great job - there is no competition there - Beyonce could not hold a candle to Jennifer's booming voice. I do believe that she is out and Jennifer is going to be the "next big thing". So long Beyonce - Jennifer is much classier, as well. Thanks for being yourself and showing up Beyonce - even with Jay-Z on her arm - Beyonce is a has been - and thankfully so - she is a poor role model for our young girls.
Scounces, how do you hang these?
I saw some really pretty ones on Craigs List but I have never had and wondered how they were hung? Thanks.
Hang it outside. If it's a little chilly out, sm
the cool air will freshen it right up and it will smell absolutely fabulous.
Good for you and hang in there!
 Love your own community service idea! Sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders and are a strong anchor for your son. I hope things start to turn for the better for both of you. Take care of yourself!
Whoa...hang on a second
To say not to get married is a huge statement. I've been married for 20 years to an awesome man. All men are not controlling, manipulative, insecure jerks. I have my own mind and I use it, my husband does not tell me what to think, how to act, etc., just as I don't do that to him. We are one in marriage, but still our own person. Marriage is a wonderful, beautiful thing when done with the right person. I am grateful I'm not single from what I've heard of the dating world lately, not much good out there to choose from (all the good ones are taken...). Marriage is not about becoming someone's property; it's about uniting 2 people who are in love to become one in God's eyes, yet still maintaining your own identity and self. Married couples work together to make each other happy. It's a give and take situation, more than anything else in the world. And marriage is not easy, not by far, but you have to work together, not against each other. I'm sorry you ended up with a big, fat jerk...it happens to the best of us. There are, however, ways out! God frowns on divorce, period...but I also believe that God frowns on one person using and manipulating another, especially a husband and wife. I'll say it again, marriage is AWESOME......with the right person and thank God I found mine...he's the best!
Hang out your laundry if possible
Start hanging your wash out rather than using the dryer. It will save big, not those pennies they claim you'll save by unplugging your toaster. (By the way, my son, an electrical engineer, claims unplugging your toaster saves nothing. Unplugging a coffee maker if it has a clock does save a little.)
Hang in there and talk to others.
Don't jump on the bandwagon of calling anyone "alcoholic", I'm not saying he's not but he may be a problem drinker or have a drinking problem. I have been to ACOA meetings and went home crying every time, it was too painful because it brought back all the fighting and nightmarish things there, although it did help to talk to others. It's tough to do but helped. I would not confront him with that word as it is a diagnosis and a label. I might say, "Gee, Dad I wish you wouldn't drink in front of my kids, I hate to see that, we try not to." Confronting sometimes depresses them into drinking. I was fortunate, my dad went to some retreats and quit cold turkey and my kids never knew it, in fact, they hate me to ever mention it, as they idolize him. So he died in my arms at 81, told him he was a "good man" and I am not sorry. My bros. hated him and I feel sorry for them. I feel peace. He has to think about it but don't lecture him, just casually bring up that you hate drinking or you hate your kids to see people drinking. Tell him you care about him though.Perhaps if you believe in it, you could pray. It's a very lonely, hard place to be, I know. I will never be sorry I forgave my father. My mother would nag him enough about it until he finally "got it", I think it's more her place than yours. I do ache for you. People who don't walk that walk don't understand, I find they look down their nose on you and you don't need that on top of what you're going through. Have faith. If it gets bad, just pick up the kids and say, "Gee, gotta go, Dad, gotta get these kiddos home." Perhaps he'll get the message, I hope so! Only he can save himself, not you.
Hang on, though. The rate could have changed...sm
If any payments were late (or missed), the rate could have gone up astronomically for the OP. They may well have gone up and up. It's probably in the fine print of the card agreement that that will happen automatically with late payments.
And I have heard financial experts say that it's not a good idea to call and cancel a card if you still have a balance on the card, because then you have no way to negotiate with them. Though it doesn't sound like any negotiating was able to happen in this case, you're supposed to keep asking for the person's supervisor (and their supervisor, if necessay), and be persistent, until you get to talk to someone who can help you with lowering the rate and maybe waiving some of the fees.
Then I would apply for another card with a lower rate (and make darn sure you don't make any payments late or miss any payments!) and transfer that WA MU balance over (and ask if they can wave the transfer fee when you apply for the new card).
BTW, I recently applied for a credit card with WA MU because the offer was for 0% interest for 15 months on balance transfers, and the person was definitely in India. Every time I interruped him to ask him a question, it was like he then had to start over reading his "script" but I could understand him.
I asked if he could wave the balance transfer fee, and he said he was unable to do that. I didn't persist or ask to speak to his supervisor, but I should have. According to the experts, the time to negotiate is before they have your business. After they have you as a customer, they aren't so interested!
golly, maybe we should hang her by her thumbs (sm)
OP said the child didn't get much sleep because of problems with her younger sibling.
It is quite possible the child is having some jealousy issues or other issues causing her to act out. Not to mention not having a good night sleep. I know my concentration is a little off if I haven't slept well. Probably a little harder for a 5-year-old.
I don't think it is prudent to jump to punish a child when it is out of character for that child to misbehave, especially if the child had already received punishment.
Yes, it will humble her. It could also demean her. I'm definitely no expert, except by experience. When this child has future emotional issues that she is not quite sure how to deal with, she defintely will be too humble to act out or to try to talk to her mom about them, because she has been taught not to. She'll just keep them locked inside or act out in a way she won't get caught.
A 5-year-old is not to young to be asked why she acted the way she did, or to discuss it. Why do parents have a knee-jerk response to just impose some kind of punishment without trying to understand first?
I'm not saying an apology is wrong, I just don't think it should be yet another punishment. If anything, mom should discuss it with her, like... "honey, I really think you owe your teacher an apology. What do you think?" Let it be the child's decision. It's good training to let a child make decisions like this.
The teacher punished the child. That's her job. It is our job as parents to try to understand our kids and open lines of communication and let them get used to making decisions.
Hang one of those unsightly fly strips.
The old timey ones they used to hang. They still sell them. Made by Catchmaster scented bug & fly catcher. They do work. Think I bought some at Wal-Mart. Comes rolled up about the size of a shotgun shell, you pull it out and it unravels and you tack it with the tack provided. They won't get off of that booger! Warning - Don't lean your head into it accidentally! Oh yes I did...
hang in there SD gal. many heartfelt thoughts
are with you. We have family in your area too. As far as the job -- we all need ours -- BUT, i would consider them duly notified and if you are too stressed or (??) to work, then don't worry about work. They'll either be there for you when you are available again (shame on them for not responding at least) OR, just remember, you were looking for a job when you found this one. Take care of you, mind/body/spirit, first. God bless.
LOL! If you don't like the weather in Georgia, just hang around SM
a while and it will change soon!
awww...hang in there Kendra...
he will be home in no time and you can have all the sex you want!!!
Probably working.....but ususally just hang here- sm
sometimes go to a friends house to watch it over there as their son is allergic to everything in the world (it seems) so we just go there to avoid any problems in our home. I hope to have Sunday off.....depends on if they go crazy on Friday how my weekend shapes up.
Hang in there girlfriend. If you feel the trust
is there, then believe in it. Truely hope it works out for you. I have seen amazing turn-arounds in marriages. It can work.
Hang in there and stick with it, be consistent, .just like children.....
xx
Hang in there! I've been cigarette free for three years now...SM
It is definitely one of the hardest things you will ever do, but it is also one of the best things.
Check out this website and follow your progress and what happens to your body as time goes on without cigarettes. It is encouraging. http://healthbolt.net/2006/07/19/what-happens-to-your-body-if-you-stop-smoking-right-now/
DON'T join this site, but just do the first step of registration to see how much $$ you will save and how many days you will add to your life by quitting. It is very interesting. I used to have another site that gave this same info without having to join anything, but I couldn't find it, but this gives you the same basic info, but only do the first step in the registration process. https://secure.quitnet.com/
Again, hang in there. YOU CAN DO IT! You will start feeling better within a couple weeks.
I love that I can smell so much better now and that I don't stink like cigarettes. I find it very nasty now when I smell a person who has just smoked, which is something you can't smell when you are a smoker. Yuck.
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