It's therapy. At least for me it is. I don't mind it. Just don't read the posts if you know
Posted By: For some... on 2008-01-10
In Reply to:
they will bother you. I'm sorry to be so rude, but you can't dictate what other people posts unless it's religion or politics. If you start getting into the media and bad news, then you are really censoring the board and you don't want to do that.
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Guys will never be able to read your mind - sm
as someone stated below they'd rather to state exactly what you want. Hints, subtle reminders, etc. do not work. If you say you want to go home, he will believe you and go home. Period. That is what he did, silly of you to be mad at him about that one, though you could have spoken up then and there and told him you were just frustrated and really wanted to stay and try to salvage the weekend. A similar thing happened with me and my DH a few months ago except the problem was we didn't leave fast enough. We went to a Nascar race, out first night out together since 3 months previously (and that was the first time in about 3 years), and he had really wanted me to go with him, etc. So we got a babysitter, checked the weather as it was raining but they said it would clear enough for the race to go on. So we went, everything was fine for a while (he almost got slugged trying to prevent a fight between 2 drunks), got to the track, got a beer and went to our seats and the race started. Then the rain came, we saw 12 laps then they stopped the race. I said lets go, he said, no finish your beer. So we stayed, chatted with others there, then after 10-15 minutes left to go to the car. It took about an hour to get back to the car, he is grumbling by now that we should have left sooner, etc. So I jump in and get the truck pulled out and am not far back in line in the lot to get out (race is canceled at this point). We sat for 2 hours waiting to get out of the lot. We were in the farthest out lot so it is the last to be allowed to leave which totally stinks. We moved about 20 feet in 2 hours. I had to listen to him whine and moan for that entire time, as well as listen to Howard Stern on Sirius who I cannot not stand, so needless to say it did not put either one of us in a very good mood. So we spent $180 on tickets we barely used (he/we did not go back the next day for the re-do) and another $40 for the babysitter; so I was less than happy about that. Now he wants me to go with him again this Fall, I told him forget it not after last time. He wants to make up for the miserable time I had but I just don't want to deal with it again in case the same thing happens. I told him maybe next year as long as the weather is good, but for now forget it. ------I hope your husband tries to make it up to you, or at least makes the offer to, even if you turn it down. That in itself is a nice gesture. He did not live up to your expectations and that is why you got so angry. You cannnot make someone as excited about something as you are if they are just not into it. He did not want to be there but was doing it to probably try to make you happy but still had to grumble some; probably trying to get you to entice him in some way, who knows. But he is not going to change and become this romantic fantasy man you seem to want. Just like you aren't going to change and become whatever it is he wants. But you can compromise and do things the other wants to do from time to time, that is about all you can do.
You need to read this and with an open mind
Some important points from the article:
1. Circumcision is not a benign surgery.
2. The U.S. is the only Western nation that surgically alters its males.
3. Genitally-intact Europeans are often very amused to hear the notions circumcised Americans have about the normal human penis.
4. The European medical community condemns the U.S. for a practice they call a barbaric violation of human rights.
5. Europeans believe that males have a basic human right to an intact penis, a right to keep the body they were born with, and a right to body ownership and autonomy. For them it is a question of respect and dignity.
6. The foreskin plays a large role in sexual function. When sexually aroused, its lips expand and unroll over the glans. The glans stimulates the foreskin, and the foreskin stimulates the glans.
7. The foreskin has glands that produce a natural moisturizer and lubricant called smegma. Smegma serves the same purpose as tears do in the eye: it keeps everything moist, clean, and lubricated.
http://www.menweb.org/histcirc.htm
I have read all of the posts here and --sm
in my opinion, it is time to do what you have to do. She already has feelings against you, so what difference does it make. try to protect her as best as you can. protect your gd first and foremost. Get her some help, for YOUR peace of mind. God knows what you have done to help in your lifetime. Do not worry about your siblings or what anyone else might think. Do what you have to do..it is time. good luck to you, and God bless.
Now that I read your posts..
I'm figuring that's what my problem was. I had a tubal ligation after my third child 15 years ago. I had endometrial ablation done last March because of heavy periods, which was the best thing I ever did. It was to the point that I sometimes had to get up twice a night to change everything. My doctor told me that I might need another ablation sometime down the road or maybe a hysterectomy eventually.
I have not read through all these posts, but
I had a cat pee on my daughter's new bed and was horrified. We got urine gone from wal-mart and that fixed it totally. Hope you find a solution!
I can't read posts either...
Can't read posts either!
Before I even read the other posts
I understand what you are going through, having been through it TWICE - long story, I refused to be the 'other woman' both times. You have to change the way you think about this man. Maybe your brother did bring him into your life for a reason, to help you grieve and to show you some of the qualities that you want in a man - but at this time, this is not the man for you. It is very difficult to let go. I still wonder sometimes if I did the right thing by walking away, but I could not sleep at night knowing that I destroyed someone's relationship. For history, the first instance was my high school sweetheart. He went into the Army. We wrote letters all the time and talked about marriage. So, imagine my shock when he brought home a woman he'd met while in the Army. I had one conversation with him after that. I asked him if he was happy and he said he didn't know. He couldn't be sure if he'd done the right thing by being with this other person and not me. I KNOW I could've stepped in and he would've left her. But would it have lasted? Would he eventually regret what he'd done? After all, we were different people. So, I told him that I could not talk to him any more. It was too hard. If things didn't work out with this other person, I told him he could call me any time. He is now married to this woman and I pray that he is happy. I made the right choice, as much as it hurt to let go, and that is what you have to do.
When I read these other posts...
No kidding, Natalie.
Whenever I read the posts from forum members who are trapped in an unhappy, sometimes downright abusive domestic situation, I look over at my boyfriend and silently give thanks for hitting the jackpot with him.
The horror stories I've read on this forum about some of these men make me appreciate every single little thing he does for me (and makes me wish every forum member could find the happiness I was lucky enough to find).
The good ones ARE out there, ladies, they really are. You just have to keep opening up those Pandora's boxes until you unexpectedly come across the buried treasure!!!
I have read the above posts and really,
I am not stupid, do not need a shrink, am not in the least bit of trouble with any debtors, no one ever calls my home about a bill. I have spent money, sure, but have sold a zero lawnmower (have several left) no longer needed (4,000 for that), have only monthly small bills like electricity, water, no house payments, no car payments, nothing other than the credit card. I take several trips a year, nothing new to do for me and intend on this year also. My trips are paid in increments over several months so by the time the last payment is due, I have not paid thousands in a month in order to go. I say I spend a lot, nothing wrong with that but I am intending to pay down the credit card starting in May or so and can then throw at least $500.00 a month or more towards that. What I do now is pay what is due and the interest charge. Some months I pay extra on that. There is nothing wrong with spending really. The bad thing is when you are in debt above your ears. That is not the case here. I have been entirely out of debt several times and this will be no exception. I have no clue as to what common sense has to do with someone who spends a lot (if they can afford to).
If you had read my posts you would know
I am not only complaining of the reversed names. I am tired of trying to make something halfway close to words that we use with English that they are trying to do and very poorly. Thank goodness I could throw in the towel tomorrow if I get so ticked off I just do not want to ever hear again. Most do not have that option.
did you read my other posts? sm
am i supposed to leave him alone when he is having stomach aches every single morning because he doesn't want to go to school? (this has happened in the past too, but after a while he got over it). he won't eat at school (for two months now, at the beginning of school he was fine about eating at school). i don't want him to worry himself so much he develops an ulcer. i'm offended at your comment. i love my son very much and only want him to feel better. him feeling anxious about going to school to the point it makes him throw up in the morning, i don't think that's normal. he feels anxious about going to wal-mart, toys r us, hunting stores. is that normal too?
sorry, you hit a nerve with me.
i don't think i will comment any more about my son with this board.
thanks to the other people who seemed concerned and wish us well.
I went down below and read all the posts regarding this poster and her way of sm
parenting. Although we have absolutely no right to tell her how to raise her children, I will say that I am concerned about this way of parenting and living in general. She reminds me A LOT of my sister in law who, mind you, is absolutely perfect. Her kids are perfect, her house is perfect, her yard is perfect, everything is so perfect in her world that it leaves absolutely NO ROOM for mistake, i.e., leaving your coat at home, forgetting your lunch, etc.
I can't stand to be around my sister in law for a nano second, much less Thanksgiving dinner. If you are not perfect and your kids are not perfect, well, behind your back she will talk about you ll day long about how difficult it must be to be you. When, in reality, everyone is thinking this about her. It literally makes my stomach turn at just the mere thought of her.
I don't know about you, but my closest friends are humble, make mistakes, are far from perfect, very forgiving (which my sister in law is not), and just giving in general.
Contrast the 2: The perfectionist who thinks she is teaching her kids responsibility by not helping then when they make a mistake, instead ruling with an iron fist so that "they will never do that again!" OR the nurturing mother who understands that children have short attention spans and can get caught up in moments and will forget their coat or their lunches once in a while and that it is our responsibility to help them and guide them along the way, teaching them love, forgiveness, and that it IS okay to make a mistake.
Honestly, I feel so sorry for my nieces and nephew because of the perfectionist spirit that my sister in law gives off. She really reminds me of Mom of 3 Children. Hey wait. Maybe they are the same person!
Apparently you did not read all of her posts
either.
katie, if you read all the posts...
i think you would have to agree that it was more than a difference of opinion. the posts came across as genuine anger and lashing out.
i stand by my opinion that his/her lashing out did not originate with a tv show, that it went much deeper. i dont care to know the specifics, only pray that it gets resolved.
and that is just MY opinion!
well, I did happen to read all of the posts, and --sm
I just don't see where there was anger and lashing out, but that's just me.
and why do you read posts you have no interest in?
Perhaps no life? Grow up!
That is one of the nicest posts I have ever read on
MTStars. Thanks so much for sharing. It truly is more blessed to give than to receive. 
I can read the posts but it takes
about 15-20 seconds after you click on the post before it comes up. From NJ, Optimum online service.
I've read some of the posts
If indeed this guy has a criminal record, specifically for drugs - which you should verify the proper way through your local sheriff's office or clerk's office - I don't think you would be wrong to tell your daughter that she's not allowed to go anywhere with him. Just be prepared that she may seriously rebel! But you are right, if they're in a car together and he has drugs in the car, she could get arrested too. I would explain that to her and tell her that is your reasoning behind your decision. Yes, teenagers will do what they want most of the time anyway, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't try. My mother had the attitude of 'well you'll just do it anyway' so I was allowed to do pretty much whatever I wanted. I do NOT recommend that method! :)
Blondie, have read your posts before sm..
You sound like a very good person, very caring. I was in the same situation once with a neighbor's dog. He would go to Canada hunting and just leave his dog tied to a dog house in mid-winter in New England and I would take her into my home, feed her, keep her warm and all. This neighbor today I can say with full confidence was borderline-retarded without a doubt. I am so glad I did this. I even at one time went to the dog pound and claimed this dog who had gotten loose and said it was my own. I could not let this poor dog suffer because of its owner. All I can say is do what is in your heart, it may cost you a few dollars more but think of it is abandoned children and you are there for them. Take a good look at this guy and truly ask yourself is he is capable of the love and caring you have in your heart. I know times are tough, but perhaps you are the one who is meant to save these poor animals. Sounds like this guy is either not the sharpest tool in the shed or something else wrong with him. Does he have enough money for beer or etc., and not his dogs? Then he doesn't deserve them! Think hard about the dogs and what would happen to them if it were not for you. You are a very nice person. I hope you find an answer. As for your husband, only you can answer that question. I think he should at least stick up for you and address his dumb friend as to what his responsibility is in the situation. Good luck, Blondie, you are a sweetheart to put up with all this, and I am sure the dogs are in a better place with you. Do you have an SPCA or someone who could help with the food? Perhaps online you can find a way to make your own food suitable for dogs at a reasonable price. May God be with you. Perhaps you are meant to care for dogs in some way that would be beneficial to you in other ways. God bless you for caring. 
Try to re-read the above couple of posts
about material things. It matters not if it's yours or your husbands (a little weird to me to begin with if you're married). I think you're missing the point.
You need to read my posts more carefully.
That's exactly what I'm saying. When tonsils get infected, they do more harm than good and should be removed. I am saying that there's no corresponding indication to remove a normal, healthy, non-infected foreskin.
And incidentally, foreskin serves a protective function as well.
I can post today, but I can't read any posts. Anyone else
s
Hey, I didn't read all the posts below but sm for suggestion
Can't help ya with the subway system. I think newbies are all in the same scary boat, but internet could help.
My suggestion is one of those suitcase things on wheels that he can pull. Maybe one of those and then some sort of satchel/mailbag/backpack also.
Seems kind of cruel for this company to throw him to the wolves like that. They should be able to offer a little guidance??
Anyhow, I can't even imagine how you feel. I live in a college town with both kids in their 20s and every time they leave the house, I'm afraid they're going to get lost LOL. So I can only imagine your anxiety.
Try to help him look at it as a challenge rather than something he's going to dread. Once he gets to know the ropes, all should be fine.
Hang in there :-)
I have read all the posts below in answer to your question (sm)
and I believe your main problem lies in getting him to go to the doctor (I have one of those myself - he will probably die at home because he won't go) and in your case, he doesn't see any symptoms, so why should he go? I sympathize. It seems it might have to be something drastic to make him go. Are there other family members who might be able to help you convince him? A bribe of any kind that might work? Good luck with this. I hope you can get him to go. Sending good thoughts your way.
Edgy posts are here, just have to be quick to read them as they
x
You really need to learn to read before answering posts
She NOR her husband initiated this contact - it is related to sports. Don't insult people when you yourself don't have all the facts. It makes you look like a foolish bully.
Good for you! To read your posts, it really sounds - (sm)
like something has happened with her, since this is a change of character for her. You said she was an awesome friend for many years, and she probably was. But something happened to change that. It could be any one of many reasons, too: Drug habit, early dementia/Alzheimer's, schizophrenia, even a brain tumor. The latter sounds very possible. I wonder what her husband thinks about all this. He seems like a pretty decent guy. Depending on how you view his friendship, you may or may not want to discuss the problem with him. Maybe he needs to get her to a doctor.
I think you were lucky when he offered to do the work on your house for a low price, and DIDN'T screw it up. So many times, you hear horror stories about such things. So the fact that he did the work, and it turned out well, sounds like you have an asset in his continued friendship. BUT, you of course want nothing more to do with the wife.
The easiest thing would probably be to just cut all ties with them both, but I still have this feeling the husband is a good guy. He could be caught in the middle of all this. Or in denial that the lady has a serious mental problem going on. It would also be interesting to know WHY she lost her job. The mental issue could very likely be the reason.
Anyway, I think you were very wise to change the locks! ;D
Many posts hafta read fast cause they are pulled if
x
Moderator needs to see, unable to read posts and I am with Bellsouth, not comcast
Nothing here I guess
Chia, Chia, oh you gotta read the posts more carefully
I said getting jackets -not coats and fleece jackets at that, spread over 4 months (from debit card) of $7.50 per month). I don't know of any store I can go in and buy a jacket for around $7 using my debit card and they let me spread over 4 months. Oh, I wear them around my home all the time in the winter to give extra warmth so this is not a frivilous buy. You might say with wearing the jackets actually cutting down on my heating bill. The people who lived in my home prior to me had gas bill of over $300 per month, I keep the overall house lower temperature and my bill now around $140.00 a month.
Religious posts and political posts go to appropriate boards. NM
Goldbird
Yep, I had therapy for awhile too
Therapy didn't take the nightmares away and didn't take away my fears. My anger from it is better but not gone.
I think if I stay a little angry, I will be a little more vigilant and protective of myself. It will not happen to me again.
I can feel sorry for the jerk but can't forgive him for taking my security away from me.
And, before the "holier than thou" people jump on the religious aspect of forgiveness and healing, let me just tell you this.
I have seen many different counselors over the years for this. I even sought counsel from my church back then and I was basically turned into the church sideshow.
These were people I trusted but they let everyone in the congregation know that I was a little sinner and had brought a horrible shame upon myself and my church family.
This was not some kind of fanatical church but I won't say which one.
So in case Georgia Gal is wondering which church, she will continue to wonder. Just know that I will never get over this and I just can't see how she could. Church or no.
I believe in God, I just do not believe in church anymore.
Your doggie needs some therapy
It has no clue what it is, a Siberian and you call it a poodle. Poor thing. It has issues and I would suggest a good therapist!
you don't need therapy-you JUST SUMMED IT UP!!
This post says it all - and I think in your heart you know what would be the best road to take......it's scary but not for very long.......change can be scary but change is a constant in the life....and one door closes and 20 more open (doors and windows)....if you stay in the relationship, you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of never-being-able-to-please-this-person and then hence, yourself. You only get to do this one time - as far as we know - wouldn't you want it to be THE BEST...?
Good luck, I so know it's sooooooooooooooo not easy.....
Was he cured by therapy
or medication?
hehehe.
I remember when DH and I were just engaged, he looked lovingly into my eyes and said the most romantic thing he could think of - "I promise not to be one of those guys who makes his wife a football widow."
Men are funny.
Try massage therapy - sm
It can do wonders. Tell them exactly what your complaints are. Best of luck! 
Yes he needs intense therapy
and they can probably get him disability which would help pay for it.
Question: Why do you keep saying retarded? Haven't heard that term used in years.
Question: Why in the world would they bring a 2yr old little girl into this situation. You said he has needed help for 16 years. What were they thinking. And as far as money goes, if they can't afford therapy, how could they afford to adopt a child from China?
Massage therapy!
 I try to treat myself every 3 weeks or so. PLUS i play a lot of online Jeopardy...
I agree with HER...I think he needs therapy.
*
I so agree - left at 18, therapy from 8-28...sm
And have been in fine shape ever since. I became my own hero the day I walked out the door for good at 18, never looking back...never went back, not even for dinner, though kept in touch all the time with my father via his work/job, phone or going directly there, my father always trying to be the peacemaker. I tried for several years and several different time but once one is so poisonous - you have a choice...and I always chose not to be involved with poisonous types of people.
Therapy IS the ticket FOR SURE and there's all kinds of therapies out there today for all kinds of personalities. Thank goodness for that - I was into the new-wave therapies back in the late 1960s-70s....
Bless everyone going through all of this either prior or now.....Bless ALL.
I have never taken hormone replacement therapy like you
because I knew from years ago, before the gov study that hormones were being linked with breast cancer, among other things. My elderly aunts (in their 80s) also refused to take hormones, one being a nurse. My mother took hormones and she died from uterine cancer. A previous physician told me I should take them (this was not OB-GYN and I just felt I had all the information I needed to make a sound decision, that being not taking them.
My Therapy Dogs are certified through
Therapy Dogs International. They have to pass two sets of tests..the first is the AKC Good Canine Citizen, then the TDI test. Any breed or hmmm-what-kind-are-you? dogs can become a Therapy Dog.
The dogs need to have a physical, stool testing, and vaccination history is sent to TDI along with a recent photo of your dog. You then will receive a photo ID that has to worn with each visit.
A lot goes into the training, but it is well worth it. Just to see the look on a patient's face really does bring on the tears. Deb, don't hide your tears....the patient's don't mind. You and your dog just might be the most emotional packed figure they've seen in a while. Everyone else who tends to them, while smiling, are distant and almost sterile. Your tears means you really care about them.
Info on the AKC Good Canine Test:
http://www.akc.org/events/cgc/training_testing.cfm
and the TDI test:
http://www.tdi-dog.org/tditesting.html
New scents, aroma therapy from YC
Love the ones you mentioned as well as Water Garden and Sweet Violet.
The SO (he's such a sweetie) brings me YCs all the time. He just gave me a boxed set of five Aromatherapy Spa candles:
cinnamon/frankincense
peppermint/basal/rosemary
lavender/ylang-ylang/geranium,
jasmine/sandalwood
tangerine/vanilla
I've only tried the first one so far and it's very nice. Don't know what's in them but the dog freaks when I get the box out. She rubs herself all over them while snorting like a pig. Very odd. You should see what she does when the YC catalog comes with those scented pages!
When my brother was in therapy, he used that technique.
Never would use the word "you" in a sentence when discussing an issue and constantly repeating back to us what we said in order to validate that we were heard. Our entire family hated it, especially because his issues were HIS issues. Beating three wives, always out-of-control, and demanding emotional support whenever he made repeatedly stupid decisions. He just couldn't repair the huge damage he had done by trying that one on us. (And he only tried briefly.)
It's not a bad technique. It's actually quite nice to be civilized that way. But whenever someone mentions it, I'm reminded of my brother who had hurt so many of his family members, emotionally and physically, and then couldn't figure out why the technique his therapist taught him didn't work like a magic charm. He never did figure out that the trust was gone from every relationship in his life.
Sorry! That was off-topic. It just stirred up some unpleasant memories.
....therapy or a Marriage Encounter weekend, if that's still around...nm
s
Love the Italian therapy! My dad and uncle were...
raised that way...no coddling or worrying about hurting the little one's feelings. My grandmother would have made a fortune from her therapeutic thwaps!
Bless your heart for having Therapy Dogs!
I think that's a wonderful program and hat's off to you for taking the time to do it!
Hope she saved lots of the tips for you for therapy...
just kidding ;)
I overted one of these last week with Avon Moisture Therapy sm
and I swear by it. This time of year I cream up, especially rubbing into the areas that these occur, then put on some socks on my hands for the night. I have not had one of these until recently and like I said, I averted it with this stuff. I am nice and comfy this week.
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