My family tends to avoid funerals. Instead, several
Posted By: family members have been - sm on 2009-03-17
In Reply to: can people say goodbye without a funeral? - sm
cremated, and at an appropriate time, their ashes are spread somewhere they really loved being. My dad's were scattered over the ocean. I wasn't able to go, (only 4 spaces on the boat, and my older 1/2 brother (1 of us 6 kids) wanted to go, so I stayed home. Still, I liked it this way because I feel my grief is private - I don't want to put it on public display at a funeral. Also, every time I look at the ocean, a stream, rain, etc., it's kind of nice to know that my dad is part of it.
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Regardless of age, we don’t usually look at funerals
as celebrations- maybe in the African American group but no matter the age, I think when your grandparents, parents, siblings, aunts die I can say being Caucasian I do not look at a funeral as celebrating a life, only that I have lost a dear loved one and terribly sad.
funerals are for the living
nothing done to the body is going to affect whether she 'rests in peace'. Let the mother bury HER dead where SHE wants. She is the legal next of kin.
p.s. her character isn't like too bad if she was a cop so long. don't believe everything the way the media slants it.
Well where I come from they are for funerals and not weddings.
x
Why are funerals so expensive?
After finding funeral home service for my grand mother. I think that funeral home is so expensive.
You agree with me?
I have been to 2 funerals where the ashes were buried. sm
I really never understood the reason for the cremation and then the burial but I know it is done. My brother never picked up the ashes for the same reason you marriage went sour.
It really is infuriating to me too! Yes, they also picket soldiers' funerals (sm)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westboro_Baptist_Church_(Topeka)
They protest many funerals and memorial services of innocent people. It just makes me so sick.
Best to avoid sun if on any antibiotics
nm
I manage to avoid most of them.
no way
I avoid them like the plague
Emotional vampires I call them - they drain you completely!
and avoid the mall
the snobs will not be reformed.
avoid the mall? Was that a
swine flu post?
To avoid this, I take an over-the-counter
supplement:
Fishoil + vit D + vit A,
all in one capsule.
The reson that your husband is deficient in vit D, although he gets a lot of sunshine mightt be that he is deficient in calcium.
The body needs to get enough calcium to be able to absorb vit D, and vice versa.
Hard to avoid when you live here though - sm
It is all around us here, between the headlines/front pages of the Richmond-Times Dispatch and many people where VT hats, sweatshirts, T-shirts, etc. I see it all around me everywhere I have gone this week. I feel bad for the families of everyone who was affected by this horrible crime. It has everyone on edge around here, a school on the west side arrested a kid yesterday who brought an unloaded handgun to school (not too bright obviously), my kid's school had an "incident" involving a suspicious package yesterday and called in the cops for it, another one on the west side called the cops when they saw 2 guys in camoflage with rifles near the school (they were turkey hunting). The news last night was nothing but false alarms and candle light vigils, yes, it does get a bit depressing but people do need to be more aware and not be afraid to speak up and maybe be wrong (or right) about something they see that they think is not right/suspicious. VT is going to have lots of fallout from this from law suits to people pulling their kids out of school, and a good hard look at why this kid was still at their school though it was known he had serious psych problems, that is the biggest question of them all and their hesitancy in acting is the biggest tragedy of all of this. People have to be so politically correct and dot all the i's and t's in order to cover their butts that they forget that sometimes they just need to act, and act quickly, then go back and do all the justification. There were a million warning signals about this guy but they just swept it under the rug because no one wanted to the the fall/bad guy in dealing with this nut case. The whole thing just stinks.
Why avoid Banfield? We took our kitten there for
nm
Also avoid products with lanolin
which can aggravate eczema. It's another common ingredient in lotions.
Curel original has neither lanolin nor vitamin E.
I will try to avoid BEING on the phone when he walks in and if he
comes in while I am on the phone I release myself from the phone call just out of courtsey. My friend does the same thing. However, I am not afraid to talk on the phone while my husband is here. My girlfriend and I go for weeks without talking due to busy schedules, and once we find the time, we are on the phone for no less than a hour, usually more!!!
Jesus and God would *embrace* sinners, not avoid them--sm
We are ALL sinners. No one is perfect, no not one, according to the Bible. No one is saying you have to associate with them, but if God can forgive them of their sins, why can't you? HE will judge them when the time comes. It is not up to you to determine when and if that happens. God bless you.
Agree, have one - avoid using it sometimes because it really is a pain to clean!!!
but do people really not clean it each time? Ewwwww. Gross. :)
First, avoid credit cards, charging....
Try not to use plastic if you possibly can because you'll never catch up. Don't buy anything you don't absolutely need. Make do with food you can prepare yourself. Don't go out to eat. Don't be afraid to ask for help, not money, but help with children, etc., so you won't get stressed out. Most of all, don't let the kids see you depressed, they feel it and get scared. Google for help, such as making your own Play Doh, recipes, help with just about anything, you would be surprised at what you can find out. Just be careful you don't get involved on the Net with wrong people. I watch CNN or CNBC because I want to know what's going on, you HAVE to know so you'll be aware of changes coming. I don't own stock but I want to know what's going on with the banks, etc., so I can avoid making mistakes. Suze Orman said on one show that you should live happily in a shack rather than over your head. On another program, she stated she was building a new home in South Africa. I used to follow her lead, but now I only listen to her when it comes to paying off credit cards, otherwise she doesn't walk in our proverbial shoes. You have to be informed, even if it hurts. Making lots of mac and cheese. I think a lot of this expensive organic stuff is totally overblown. Don't use Starbucks when McDonalds will do; better yet, don't go there at all, stay home! Just my humble opinion, less is more, family is all that counts, don't scare the kids! Leave your 401 alone, it WILL come back, don't despair, it will repair.
I avoid Michael Moore and his "documentaries" whenever possible, BUT
I will watch this movie, I promise.
I don't believe Mr. Moore's beaming portrayal of the European and Canadian health care systems is completely accurate. I have a number of Canadian friends who have described the system as chaotic and overwhelmingly dangerous and dysfunctional. The wait lists for some routine or non-emergency procedures can be literally months long.
I'm an RN and have worked with Canadian nurses who said they crossed the border because they can't earn a competitive wage in their own country. One of my patients (a Canadian now living in the US) had the misfortune of having a heart attack while visiting relatives in BC, and by his own account he had to lie on a gurney in the hallway of the ER for 48 hours while receiving only intermittent treatment. My girlfriend told me pregnant women there don't get epidurals during labor because there is never time or an anesthesiologist available to administer them.
None of this excuses the health care crisis in the United States, but it should cause us to question whether adopting a national plan is truly the answer to our problems. I just know I don't want Canada to be our model.
Anything you think you can avoid by home schooling, not getting birth control, etc
for your children, talking incessantly about all the no-nos associated with premarital sex, etc will more than likely fall on deaf ears when it comes to children. I did live in a really big city and regardless of small or large, the girls are maturing much earlier and a lot involved in sex earlier than we as parents would like to believe. You can give a child talk after talk but restrictions, talking, home schooling, etc only goes so far with growing kids. You cannot protect your kids like you would really like to.
Thanks for the "inside scoop"! I'll avoid Sears. nm
x
Family is great but I am never back in my hometown where family is... So I always have extended fami
You can always pick your friends your stuck with your family. An Xmas for me is where my husband and kids come home to. It is what you make it!
It's awful! I used to live in NY. Avoid it at all cost on Black Friday!
!!!
I wish they'd make a board for ESL/illegal alien opinions so I can avoid it.
x
Summer. Friends or family? Family. Tired or Awake?
x
Big difference between family values and family jewels, eh? lol
LOL. I love this show. I think Gene and Shannon and her sister are a riot! What characters. It really is amazing to me the kids seem so laid back and so normal. They seem like great kids.
Does your family still do the early Sunday dinner w/family?
s
SIL family, us and another family snacked,played
x
family
No she did not have Daniel throughout his whole life but there were times when he shouldn't have been with her but her mother would not take him without money. She was living in a motel with a bfriend and Daniel. She was broke and it was not pretty she had some really rough times and she was not always the "playboy" girl she worked in some really raunchy clubs.
I dont know about a brother but it has been a long long time age I do remember meeting a "sister" once and lots of different "boyfriends". There was always someone with their hand out.
I give her mother the benefit of the doubt but look at how things are going and what her mother is doing. There have been lots of back and forths in Vergie and Nicki's relationship and none of it has EVER appeared loving. Nicki was not innocent but I think she grew up and moved on with her life and her mother still wants to talk about her little Vicki.
No one is perfect not me, not you neither was Nicki, but her past was her past and she needs to be laid to rest, she went to extremes to establish her wishes let her be. Nicki is gone but the baby is here and needs to be sheltered from all this hoopla!!!
when it is a family, the family tends to think
since an addition is being made to a family during pregnancy, a lot of families see themselves as pregnant - as one - as a whole unit...nothing wrong with it - actually makes the entire family participate in it, which is a GREAT thing............not like the men of the 1950s who went to work and the moms did absolutely everything else....I like men/families who WANT to take part and be involved.
Old fashioned or not - I prefer the way the men participate today in all of it..........makes for better communication and all know what's going on in the family....
FYI to all, keep your old fashioned minds open because a closed mind will make you old WAY before your time.
There are 4 in our family and we each sm
get to pick one definite thing to do. My hubby says that is his pick. LOL
All the best for you and your family and keep..sm
 Keep us posted here - I will remember your *handle* countrymt and will be on the lookout for your posts!!!
I have family down there
My husband is originally from Boston, and we go down about once a month or so for a few days to visit his parents, brother, etc. It's kind of like a second home for me!
Family
My heart goes out to you, as I too understand that kind of pain from family. Just know that it is not you that is causing this rift. It is your brother, not his wife even though it is obvious that she is doing the manipulating. Your brother should not be able to be manipulated so easily by his wife's insecurities and jealousy of your relationship. Unfortunately in life, and in families perceptions get screwed up with time, and distance, and if one does not hold true to their fondness of one another, or respect or what I call the family gene that holds a family together through thick or thin, then there is nothing you can do about this situation. He obviously cannot hold true to his feelings for you because of his wife's insecurities. Just let things be and don't become bitter or begin to cut yourself off. Sometimes things change down the road for the better.
re: family
Yes it is sad that the family unit is being seen less and less. Yes self control is a responsibility....but that comes from the Lord...that is a fruit of the Spirit...so what I'm saying is it is our sin nature to stray and we will be held accountable for that sin...the only way to be forgiven for it is to ask Jesus for forgiveness and accept Him as our Saviour...don't know if I'm wording this correctly....
I pray that you get what I'm trying to say that we all need Jesus...I pray that I worded correctly...
Yes, my family sm
DH and my mom didn't get along well (although she was quite controlling and wanting to run our lives after we got married, and I do understand where he was coming from). Eleven years ago we moved 300 miles away. Now I see my mom and other relatives only very occasionally. Luckily she can come see us once in a while. I have to beg DH to go there, and my vision is so bad I can't drive it myself.
I haven't been "home" in 2-1/2 years this time. And yeah, I regret it.
I miss my mom, my family and my friends. But DH is never gonna change, and I have 3 kids, and I'm stuck. :(
My family went to while once and after just
10 seconds inside my DD backed out. My DH valiantly stayed with her while I went through with DS. I asked before hand to make sure they could not touch me...that is my biggest fear also. They told me there was defintely a "No Touch Rule". My DH and DD told the guy at the front my name so I heard all through house my name being repeated in a very spooky voice. One "monster" did come right up to me and I just kept saying "no touch rule, no touch rule, no touch rule". He stuck to the rules and I did feel better after that. Needless to say DS loved every minute of it.
To you and your family
My heart goes out to you and all the people in CA dealing with this horrendous threat. In the national news this a.m. (Wednesday) they stated conditions are improving in order for the firefighters to try to get in and attack these monstrous fires. Best of luck to you all. Keep us posted, if at all possible.
I have family there and know quite a bit about it. sm
Anything specific, such as area? Jobs?
family
Hey, Hayseed - You can adopt our family. We have enough of this kind of stuff going on, we can keep you feeling "loved" for the rest of your life! Seriously, have great nieces and nephew who desparately need to be loved. Your're welcome any time.
Here's what we do in our family....
I work 2 jobs, my husband and son scrap for extra money. They go out the night before garbage day, or the morning of. We have a flat trailer that has different buckets on it and they sort everything they find. They have break down the big stuff into its components and smaller pieces. You would be amazed at what the scrap yards will take and how much they pay.
For my family
It has had an effect on some with job loss and problems finding a new job. Luckily for me and my hubs we have been able to hold ours. Gas prices are outrageous as well as groceries, I have noticed the same as you. We live in an area where you have to drive quite a distance for any work - hence my decision to work at home in transcription and take a paycut. Had I known nearly 10 years ago that it would cost so much in gas we wouldn't be living where we do...but that's hindsight and nothing I can do about that now. We have talked about selling our house and moving but that seems like a lost cause. Working at home has definitely payed
off as every time gas prices go up, in a roundabout way I feel like I have gotten a raise.
I am buying generic more often and we have cut back on junk food. No chips, ice cream, soda, anything. We just can't afford it. If I'm going to spend the money I want to spend it knowing we are getting nutrition packed in.
we also grew a garden this summer to help cut back on produce costs.
Very much like my family - 2 each + 1 together sm
My biological mom moved out of state when I was in 3rd grade, and my stepmom's first husband had died in a car accident. Plus my sister and stepbrother are less than 2 months' apart in age, which mostly didn't get noticed because she moved out of state with my mom while I stayed with my dad. The only thing that caused confusion was that my stepsister and I have almost identical names (similar first name, same middle name, last name with same first initial), and the oldest 4 of us all have names starting with M. When my brother was born, they gave him name starting with J 
my family has quite a few ...
some others below posted a couple we do - peanut butter and banana ( which I have decided to save for when I'm toothless :D ) and peanut butter and dill pickles, but I prefer it on toast, lotsa crunch!
My grandfather liked peanut butter with thick slices of walla walla sweet onions and put enough garlic powder on the peanut butter you couldn't see it's color. When I was little he told me one time it's why he never got sick, I said sure, nobody will get close enough to give you their germs!
My mom loves to put ketchup on just about anything, especially scrambled eggs. She also used to buy the cans of Campbell's bean with bacon condensed soup and make a sandwich with it, with ketchup, of course!
My brother was/is addicted to salt. We used to find the salt shaker hidden in his room where the top was all crusted over from licking it to eat the salt. :P
gotta admit my family is weird to say the least! lol
I'm so sorry for you and your family
Losing a pet is always so hard. Sending your whole family love and hugs.
family
I find it interesting that when a young woman posted that her mother and grandmother were abusing her, no one felt sorry for her. Everyone one told her to forgive and forget. I also find it interesting how judgemental everyone was about who was the victim. That the grandmother and the mother were the victim and not the daughter. It seems ironic given the long, long, long, posts on domestic violence this morning.
Our family pet
has eye problems as well. She can barely see any more and we help her get around. We make sure she is fed at the same time every day, in the same place. The vet wants her to lose weight but she is fat and happy and at 13 years old we feel that is the most important for her. She is a small dog and still gets around well but we take her outside and watch her closely. I understand how difficult it is to watch and see a pet deteriorate.
We lost this dog's Aunt 2 years ago. She had many more health problems but was still perky and able to get around well. She died while we were at work and the vet said it was most likely heart failure. She never suffered though.
I feel for your loss. It is never something easy and will be with you forever. But I think it is important to remember the good times and the positive impact that the pet had in your life. It's too bad there is not more options for comfort care for our pets like there is for humans. Our family would have been so empty without any of these pets. My pets are truely my babies.
Family
Wanted to let you know you are not alone. I went through a similar situation myself. I married this wonderful man, and while I knew he had really down moments, I did not realize they were to that extent. After moving 10 hours away from my parents and support system of friends I found out some very shocking news. He had bipolar manic depressive disorder. I loved this man, I even allowed him to adopt my son. Then the worst thing happened, I came home to find him sitting on the floor with a knife. I was scared so of course I called his father and mother. We checked him into a facility and while doing the interview/intake my MIL relates to the nurse that he had previously attempted to take his life. He had done this several times. I sat there in shock I knew nothing of this. I can clearly remember the look in my FIL eyes when he seen that I was not privy to this information. I was hurt and angry and still am to an extent. I still love this man to this day but had to let him go as that is what he wanted. My inlaws and I had several long talks one resulting in me becoming so angry I told my mother in law that she was allowing this behavior and I thought she was to blame for all of his problems. If she had been a better mother this would not be happening. I hurt her that night and I regret it now. When I did make amends she told me she knew I was just hurt scared and needed to vent. I think you will find that is what you have done. There will come a time for you to make your amends, when you are ready. I do not feel that you were being out of line when you said these things. That is how you feel. We have to own our feelings because running from them will never help. You are hurting right now. My guess is you are frustrated as well. Help was all you asked for and none was provided. You have a right to those feelings. I would just drop this idea of another email. Why do you have to be sorry? You have children and a husband who is ill concentrate on them. They need you. Best of luck to you and your family.
family first
How about everyone promise to not get divorced, put their families first, and do everything possible to provide stability for their children?
I have to see if anyone in my family - sm
is even on Facebook. I do have a page there, but make sure I don't post anything I that would be "harmful" to me. The worst thing I have on there is a picture a friend posted of me standing on the beach in a one piece bathing suit, well covered, plus I am flat as a board it it at 16...still am, and don't post anything bad, naughty or stupid. I will check out the prepaid options though, especially once I know what our monthly usage is from verizon, so have a month to check around I guess and make sure I don't get sucked into anything more than I pay now.
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