Some time spent with them would be
Posted By: Things that mean a lot on 2007-12-17
In Reply to: I know these get old, but have gift ? - DW
a gift only you could give.
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I probably could have spent my time, money, everything
on me because I gave them so much and now it came down to money. One is a me type person and the other, if all they care about is the $$$ and would talk nasty to me, I can wipe my hands of anyone and I mean that, who does not respect me after all I did for them. Most of the posts you read here are mothers who have younger children and most are ok when babies, toddlers but the real life comes as they get up and supposedly have some sense. I did my job and thought I did a good job. Now time for me, me, me.
I have a MIL who was jealous of any time I spent - sm
with my family. It caused a lot of hurt feelings on her side, and just made me angry for the most part. You don't sound anything like my MIL though but it sounds like you did not push the issue and fight for the right to see your grandchildren. In my situation, I married 1 of 2 sons. The other has never married or had any children. We have the only grandchildren for my MIL. She was manic that we have kids though she was vastly disappointed when we had girls and has remarked on this several times in the past. It is true we trusted my mom over her in terms of childcare, etc. though my mom rarely watched the kids as she lived 4 hours away. I did visit my mom at least 4-6 x a year, but I would drop in and visit my MIL and my FIL almost every time as I literally drove right by their house on the way up to my parents. My DH rarely calls his parents, I usually call his mom once a week and chat for a while. She used to never call but lately has taken to calling every 2 weeks or so. We also used to see his parents at least once a month for at least 5 years (now it is every 6-8 weeks), day visits, while my parents only saw the kids 4-6 x a year, though I would stay anywhere from 2-5 nights when I visited. This where the jealously came into play. I was/am very close to my parents and my brothers, much like your DIL I suspect. But I was exceptionally close to my mom, when she died almost 3 years ago my world fell apart. But my MIL was always jealous of my relationship with my mom, it drove her nuts I think. My DH tried to explain to her how close were were but she just could not understand and it caused her (and me) many problems. I would catch such grief from his family when I told them I was going to see my parents/friends, it was as if they wished I did not have a family. Holidays were horrible though we did do an alternating schedule though she would argue with me about that. Things a lot different now as she now gets to be the only grandma, which I am sure she loves. My stepmother is actually better with the kids though and has a great time with them, though I will never be close to her either. My in-laws get just about all the holidays now since my mom is gone and my stepmom wants to be with her kids not her husbands, so I don't get so see my family much anymore, maybe 2 x a year. Much more complicated these days, though we still don't let them (my in-laws) have the kids as they lack in common sense bigtime when it comes to what is safe and smart for my kids. I am not saying that is the case with you as I don't know your particulars of course. But it sounds like you just gave up. I would not try buying your son's love as it sounds like you did try. I know my in-laws tried though we were up front with them with one money gift they gave us that enabled us to pay off our truck in 1 year instead of 4, that it would not buy them weekends with the kids, etc. We told them that if there were strings we did not want the money. Money does not buy love as the Beatles said, very true. I would write back your granddaughter and say you would like to have a new beginning with her and the past is over and done with , and if she ever does want to know the real story, tell her. As for your son, have you even called him and invited him to your new home, it does not sound like it. Sounds like you expect a lot and are upset because they don't do the same for you as they do for the daughter's parents. The daughter controls the kids for the most part (as do most women) so it is to be expected that her family gets their "favor" more. You need to step up and be assertive. My in-laws do do most of the visitings here (we have actually never invited them here, they just call us and say that they are coming down on such and such a day, kind of aggravating), we rarely go up there as my DH just hates going there and really does not like his parents due to a bad upbringing. They really did a number on him. Does your son have any anamosity towards you? Did something bad happen in the past? You are long overdue for a long talk with him though. But I work hard to keep the lines open with them as much as I don't like doing it, I do it. My kids love them and I would never deprive them of that. I hope you take the first step and write to your granddaughter again, and call you son. You have absolutely nothing to lose at this point. Good luck.
Perhaps if mother Spears spent more time
parenting and less time pimping her kids all over Hollywood, this might not have happened.
Do you mean the actual hours of school. or also time spent
ol
Getting there early and staying late, time spent on phoning
il
Thank you all so much. I spent about 6
hours last night researching this man and his family via Google and MySpace. I am horrified at what I found - its a troubled family for sure, but they look great on the outside - no what I mean? The house is perfect - the guy is OCD about working in the lawn, etc. Always the appropriate holiday decoration - yet underneath the exterior they are monsters. I found the teenage daughter's MySpace and read thru postings all over, on other friends' boards, etc., and this kid has threatened to do physical harm to many kids - she alludes to bombings, and her screen name has her name followed by Kills. She has lots of posts about bomb threats at her school and sounds bragging about it. Her town name she chose has comments on bombing. Wonder where the kids are getting it from? This is way sicker than I ever imagined. I am mounting my evidence, documenting all this stuff, and just praying that nothing happens to me or my family. I would love to move - just isn't a possibility right now. I am going to research the nursing tonight, but sure got side tracked on the MySpace stuff. The mother/wife even has her own sick site. Its unreal. And its unreal how easy it is to find people on that place. Oh well. Will keep you all posted.
I spent over $64.00 on
green queen sized olives yesterday, eat them like candy.
that is really sad - spent my honeymoon on
Padre Island - guess the beaches went the way of my marriage - down the tubes!
I was out before 8:30 and spent about an hour
shopping- I do not like to shop at all and mostly this morning bought things for me, like some flannel PJs and some sweaters at the outlet store. The crowd not bad at all- only 1 ahead of me in the checkout. I shop over the net quite a bit but had received flyer and things I wanted I got.
Last month I spent $321 for 3 of us.
It's just DH, 18 year-old son, and I. We live in the Philadelphia area. We generally eat far less meat than most American families, but we aren't vegetarian. My son commutes to a nearby university and works there, as well. He provides his own lunches, and probably only eats breakfast at home half of the time.
Now, if you want to factor in what we pay for the meal plan for our son who lives away at college, well then... that's a whole other story! KA-CHING!
Money spent and nothing to show for it
I paid a little over $600.00 for a dinette suite the first of April. They had to order and I called time and time again and finally told the store in August I wanted my money back. No reply. I took out a small claims against the company and the guy did not even show (although he got the complaint because he called me at home and said "I had fallen thru the crack." Yeh- right ! Anyway, by this time had bought another set and asked for just the return. No response to the file and now have gotten a judgement just for his not showing up. I am given a list of several things to collect my money, i.e. file Fi. Fa. which places lien against losing party and any property they own, 2) file garnishment against his paycheck, 3) file garnishment on his bank acct, 4) levy against real and person property (this I would have to contact lawyer for) and lastly turn judgement over to attorney or collection agency for collection. Please, anyone have any ideas on what steps I should take? I would like to not have to spend a lot of money if possible. Thanks
how I spent my Monday morning...sm
Just wanted to say how much I missed this community while I was away...take a look at the picture I've linked...that's my neighborhood during our mandatory evacuation from the Marek Fire in California... Didn't know if I should post this here or on the mental health or prayer request boards LOL! Grateful to have my home...and my home office...next time you dread Monday morning...keep this as a reminder to renew your perspective! javascript:editor_insertHTML('text','');
We paid cash, spent about
$1000 total for grandkids and gifts for each other. We are debt free except our house. There is nothing like being able to sleep well at night and not be afraid to answer the phone should it ring. We have lived this way for many years, have learned to save money, pay cash for what we want. This has been to our benefit as we haven't had our CC companies drop our limits or increase our percentage rates at all; in fact, our limits keep rising even though we only use them once or twice a year. The thought of having to pay for something many months and years later is baffling to me.
Just spent an entire week in FL with brother sm
and his whole family - wife - 3 kids. To make a long story short, my sister in law does not like me. I'm about 7 years younger than she is. She is very jealous of my close relationship with my bro. Always. This trip she made it very clear how much she does not like me at all. I cried a lot this trip. My feelings have been so badly hurt. I've never done anything to her personally - she just hates me. My brother was very standoffish this trip and I know why. He has a very jealous wife. They would just get up and leave and not tell us where they were going or invite us. They NEVER used to do things like that. The whole time, if ever I had a suggestion for dinner or entertainment she would shoot it down with, "I don't want to do that!" I'm talking everything I came up with. What's even sadder is that they have 2 girls - my nieces - 13 and 15 - who used to love and adore me - their aunt - and this trip they were so ugly to me. I haven't seen them in over a year. We stayed in a 2 BR condo on the beach. Pretty small unit. They got the master BR. While walking to my room one evening the 3 of them (sister in law and 2 girls) were just berating me in gossip - talking about what I wore to the beach, the way I styled my hair, just stup*d things. Just gossiping so bad about me. I wanted to cry.
After I heard that about mid-way through the trip, I completely shut down emotionally. I only spoke when spoken to, didn't suggest anything at all to do, and was cordial, but not overly friendly like I usually am. Today when we left, she walked right by me in the hall and didn't say a word. Got into the car and they drove off. I had already said by to the kids and my bro. I cried when hugging my bro. He had his sunglasses on - he probably wanted to cry to. We lost our dad growing up and our mom pretty much abandoned us. We've stuck together until he moved out of state and started his family. I did too. He gets along GREAT with my husband and my kids.
What compels women to act like this? I don't understand it. Why would you want to live in your own prison of hate and bring everyone around you down? I can't stop crying! My brother lives about 2,000 miles away. I want to be close to him and his wife and kids. She won't allow it.
I know I have to just accept this is life and the way it will be. I am having a pity party. Can I say this eloquently without you taking offense? I am hating women right now. No matter how kind and nice I am, I always get slapped in the face. Always. I am a very kind and nice person. My mom always said I had wishbone but no backbone. I guess I just expect others to be kind, too, and when they aren't, I get hurt and I don't understand it. 
Save your money, other ways better spent
NM
spent NYE playing Rock Band for PS2
a lot of fun though discovered I'm never going to be a drummer (or a singer) :) So I guess I won't quit my day job.
My DH spent his check and we have no money for food this week. :(
the jerk
wrong...he spent 4 years in korean schools
Spent 2 hours with my kids playing that today - fun! nm
x
If father thought child support was not being spent
x
No! That sounds too desperate. TIME. Just give it TIME. If it is real, then sm
something will definitely evolve. If you like him, flirt back! Don't act desperate because if he DOES like you, then the suspense will just make him want to get to know you more. Trust me on this.
I worked in the medical records department of a hospital when I was single and dated a few co-workers in my early 30s. It was fun. Nothing serious came about any of the relationships.
This sounds like fun - the beginning of maybe something to come....Keep us informed.
Totally agree, get these from time to time since teens...sm
It's a neuro condition, it does not mean there is anything at all wrong with you, it is actually related to narcolepsy, hypnagogic (sp? I just got up!) hallucinations, etc. And I HATE when I get these, it is always freaky, my siblings get this too, at times. I can "go away" for years and years before you get another episodes, so don't worry! I heard that when you are under a lot of stress or are very busy with things that this happens more??? Take care!!
It's time to stop when you or the kid(s) feel it is time, and no sooner. sm
My grandmother (who passed away at the young age of 107 back in the mid 1990s) was STILL celebrating every little holiday for all of her many kids and grandkids, and she would STILL give me a chocolate bunny every Easter, as she had since I was a toddler and even though I was 40ish at the time (and I still delighted in biting its head off in front of her, as I had also done since I was a toddler, which always met with mock disapproval from her).
Don't let anyone dampen your joy in celebrating your traditions.
The very 1st time he talked about killing you, was the time
The guy sounds like a psycho.
Rachael Ray has a segment from time to time
on using the bottom of the bottle receipes (i.e. bar-be-q sauce, peanut butter, maple syrup) and I have used many of her ideas and been amazed at how far you can stretch a dollar that way. Go to her website, it will give you many ideas.
Oh Amy, surely there was a man who "kept" you from time to time..
or you were at least married and had access to money!
It was a great time - I just hate the time we are in now
I liked your post. Thanks for replying It's nice to know other people were raised like me. We seem to appreciate the things we have. Oh I should've also said we didn't have A/C growing up. My parents idea of A/C was having my sister and I wave a piece of cardboard in front of them. HA HA HA.
I just couldn't stand the 90s and 2000s are even worse. I hate all the politics going on today, the world events, the bleak future. The degenerates running around, listening to kids talk back to their parents, girls gone wild, etc, etc. I'm grateful my grandparents and mom are not alive anymore to have to go through this with us.
I love watching old movies and the music of the 40s/50s. If I was alive back then I would've been doing the jitterbug and all those other fun dances. Life seemed simpler and cleaner (even though I've got a mouth like a sailer - guess I got that from my Army days).
I wouldn't mind the turn of the century either. I love the clothing and the simple life. Those are the times when the husband took care of the wife. If I could be transported back to the 1800s I surely would in a second.
Time out and then spanking if time out
If we are out in public however, we do not go home. Spanking right there and then and the kids learn REAL QUICK mom means business. I do not mess around and I have a 17-year-old now that has enlisted in the military and THANKS me for his tough upgrowing. It helped him through basic training.
Well, I have questioned myself from time to time.
I figured this was typical. DD has lots of friends but two real close friends. I guess this is all part of building social skills. I am glad I did okay then.
Same thing happens to me from time to time - sm
if I roll over too quickly. I have positional vertigo. There is not too much you can do about it except try not to move or get up too quickly from a supine position. I have never had an earache in my life either so that has nothing to do with it. I don't ever feel sick from it though, just more of a nuisance for me every now and then. If it keeps happening obviously get checked out, you may have a more severe case, though again there really not much you can do about it, all it is is some particles in your ear breaking loose and that causes the dizziness, etc.
If I had not asked time and time again
for the daughter to ask me are you upset- are you angry- are you in a bad mood- People can think what they want- She is a very intelligent person and my asking to please should be enough. Gest of the posting. Selfish, OMG, that is really a laugh. I have and do take care of others well before my needs- I have given of myself, my time, my finances, the whole thing until, now this will sound selfish- it is my time now. I take care of me now- this is selfish but this is the truth. I raised my family, did all I could (still do for the daughter if she needs assistance which she never asks for but I offer)and now in golden years, me time.
Yes. Next time put a time limit on it., but is there any way you
nm
I keep it in the office part time and on the patio part time
I've got the self-cleaning electric litter box (and boy is it worth the $100), and have a huge throw rug under it with a smaller rug by the litter pan that has a bumpy mat on top of it to catch the excess. I keep it in the office from April to October but on the patio from October to March as it is too hot in FL to leave the patio door open for them during the summer months. I also put out a spare box when we go out of town for the weekend.
Try a box that has deeper sides maybe, or not as much litter in it?
time time time
when I divorced my husband, I felt the same way. some mornings I would wake up crying and missing him, but I really knew that if I was still with him, things would have been the same. chin up, chest out!!! and forward march. it's just hard. you should read the Sweet Potato Queens books. reading them in order is best, but the newest one is the Sweet Potato Queens Wedding Planner/Divorce Guide. I say read them in order because she refers back to things in the other books that you will be in the dark about, but your situation sounds critical so maybe just jump right into the Divorce Guide. go to sweetpotatoqueens.com. I have read them all over and over and they are fabulous!!!! need some humor at this time in your life. good luck to you!!
First time I saw it
I really like Jen. Didn't care too much for Sadie.
I think maybe for the first time or maybe just the first time
in a long time - your well is a little more dry - it needs replenishing.... you give and you give and you give and even the most charitable of people need to get something back... I think you just had a dry year and I hope this year people give back to you - if so little as a smile, a hug, a bit of encouragement in whatever way - to help to lift your spirit. You will get it back! :))
Yes. Happens all the time.
x
99% of the time - none.
x
My son would get them all the time - sm
get something to soak the foot in, fill it with water as warm as he can stand it and then mix in about 1 cup of Epsom salts, soak the foot until the water cools.
Will have to do it a few times over a few days but the skin starts to pull back.
tell him not to cut his toenails so short! :)
I look at it as the first time since she sm
was, what 14, that she will have to be in rahab. One problem, Michele Rodriguez from the show Lost went to that jail in 2006 to serve 60 days for a DUI and was let go after several hours due to overcrowding. I sure hope she doesn't get out becuase of something silly like that.
Just take it one day at a time.
I had a miscarriage back in 1993 and for years afterwards I would have a private memorial day on the day that I was due. Time really does help your heart heal, as have my living children.
TB and time
I don't agree because it can take years from the time of exposure. This is such a bad form of TB that anyone in contact with him for quite a while back needs to be watched at least and be followed up. That patient did not even realize he was infected and found out by accident from an x-ray. TB is an interesting disease process and we all need to be careful especially since there are so many people here illegally. I am not trying to start anything about that, but they have not even been medically screened if they came here illegally. They are sitting around in all our ERs, the same ones we go to. They sit next to us on public transportation and work in our restaurants. I have recently worked for physicians who treat a lot of foreign patients and you would be surprised at how many diseases they enter this country with. This is a very serious thing and I find what he did to be very wrong. His father-in-law knew too and works at the CDC. The reason he came back was the way he did was to get the best treatment available, which is here in the US, and I believe his father-in-law told him that. If anyone has been exposed to TB they need to be checked by their physician and followed.
No bra here, either, 90% of the time
If I didn't have these danged D-cups, it would be 100% of the time.
And I go Apache at home, which also means about 90% of the time since I started working at home. I don't think I could wear pants or shorts without underwear. Too much chafing of the delicate areas. But I wear housedresses in summer or in winter warm waffly nightgowns while I work so no need for underwear! 
i think its time to think about YOU
and of course the kids. If he loves them as you say, the distance won't stop him. My heart goes out to you. But do what is right for you this time.
How did I know when it was time?
When I started dreading the fact that he was home instead of worrying why he was't home. Being on my own was harder than I thought even though the relationship was long over. It's a mental thing of course. I felt very alone and vulnerable, but I did get over it. I still panic about the things you mention, although I have always been okay, yes even better. Having plenty of positive, understanding support would be most helpful. Hope you make the right decision.
AHA! Thanks! Most of the time I don't - sm
have a need for an online photo-sharing account, since I usually just email to friends, or print out for my mom, who has no PC. But I printed out your info. for the time when I get around to starting an account with flicker or photobucket.
THANKS for the info!
time
I used to love mornings now be a night person. I am up early but when it comes to feeling like typing rather do it at night.
First time!
Hey, it's my first time here.............
Well, any time you go anywhere ....
without your spouse you are in a compromising position then. Anything can happen, anytime, anywhere, people around or not. Geesh girls, lighten up on the morality aspect of it. Are your husbands even allowed to TALK to other women? Little girls worry about such things, women do not.
Well, let's see, what do I do with my time? (sm)
My husband is always gone travelling, I work full time, take almost 100% care of the kids, am a Girl Scout leader, Sunday School teacher, volunteer at the school, and help take are of my aging father. I NEVER have time to watch TV and I spend maybe 15 minutes a day on here posting a day. (pretyt much my only outlet) and I do keep my house relatively clean, cook, laundry, etc. If I want to have someone help me with my house so that I have a little more time, that's my business.
Of course, all the time
I question my DH's decisions all the time, especially when it comes to situations like you described. You have a right to your opinion and a right to state it, without being yelled at and without his anger. Men can be so defensive when questioned on a decision they have made, but hey, they just need to get over it. And I think you did the right thing by doing your questioning out of the presence of the children, as it's not good for them to see Mom second guessing Dad or vice versa, cause they will play on that eventually.
Good luck, I know it's hard living with a hard-headed man, trust me I know!
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