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Sounds like he doesn't have much respect for you if he can't

Posted By: make eye contact & pay attention. nm on 2007-09-06
In Reply to: Boyfriend always interrupts my sentences - Any creative suggestions?

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He doesn't respect your
mother, and doesn't believe she will be "mean" to him. Therefore she will end up having to do what he doesn't believe she will do IMO.
It sounds like he just doesn't realize sm
that you would love for him to call you first. I don't care how many hints you drop, men just don't realize certain things unless we flat out tell them. Have been married almost 20 years to a wonderful man, but sometimes he still just doesn't get it. It is very true that "we learned everything we needed to know in kindergarten, boys are st*pid" LOL
Doesn't sound like he's lying, just sounds like you have different wants.
You're comfy in your life as it is. It's one thing to gain love again, it's a whole different story to gain love along with a roommate and all that comes with that, including losing some sense of freedom and space.
Hey, have at it. If you want a lazy, apathetic, not affectionate, doesn't listen, doesn't make
can reach him!!! Let me know if you're interested.
It doesn't make me mad but it doesn't sound intelligent either (sm)
I am sure if all of those people who were aborted were living, some would be good and some would be bad, in the same proportion as there is good to bad now. Your statement makes no sense. So somehow the babies who were aborted were meant to be aborted because they were bad seeds? Whatever. Sorry, that's just silly.
It doesn't always work that way though - some give but it doesn't come back like that nm
x
and he should respect her the same way
by not giving her a hard time for going to church.  It has to work both ways, or marriage simply cannot work at all.  What a difficult decision, I hope it works out for them.  
With all due respect ...
to you, children *deserve* food, clothing, shelter, medical care, education/instruction and LOVE.  Anything else is out of the goodness of their parents' hearts and what the parents can afford.  This sense of entitlement is why so many children are growing up spoiled, self-centered and unappreciative.
No respect for new name...

I have a friend who decided several years ago to change his name. His family knows his name (not far from his old as say used to be Michael and wants a shortened version say Mike.)  The problem is his family does not honor his wishes to be called his new name and refers to him in the old name. Here recently he had an aunt out of town who died and my friend's brother was getting some flowers to be delivered to the funeral. The friend said be sure and use my name, the other one and the brother would not, saying no everyone knows you by your other name and the friend let that go through. I have told the friend he needs to take a stance on this but how would someone else handle this? His name change took place over 10 years ago and still they do not honor this. Any suggestions?


respect is
x
With respect . . .
Having grown up in a devote Catholic family, and forced to go to Catholic school all my life many, many years ago I have studied many, many religions in my search for Truth. Even as a small, small child, I could not buy the teachings of the Catholic Church. It is an organization bent on interpretation of Christ's teachings, run by men, and a control tool for the public, especially women. The idea that the Catholic Church is the one true church is ridicuous. Again, the key word here is its interpretation. Interpretation is going to be different to different people and different cultures. The Catholic Church was the greatest proponent of reincarnation until the 15th century when St. Augstine thought it afforded mankind too ample a time for salvation. It was a mystical powerful church, but felt that imparting sacred mystical teachings was only for the select few at the top, not their lowly congregations. It plundered and slaughtered thousands of humans to convert them. But then so have many other religions in the name of God. This is the problem with any organized religion. Don't get me wrong, there are many fine Catholics, and many fine people who believe in it. There is but ONE sacred bond that involves onto two sides, you and God. Nothing could be more sacred. You do not need an organization for that. It is a sacred private matter, just you and God. No one else. No one needs to belive or follow an organization, or think that the only way to God is through that organization. That is ridiculous, and a means of control.
Not really about respect for yourself always (sm)
Getting over caring what everyone else thinks about you is a major milestone in life. Wonderfully freeing. I wear shirts that are too tight sometimes because like I said, I can't afford to replace everything at once and am hoping to lose the weight and not need to replace everything. Meanwhile, I do have some things to get dressed up in for those times that I do care how I look. But on a daily basis, I really don't care what anyone else thinks.
With all due respect, and I mean that honestly, (sm)
You insinuated that just because one may not communicate every gory and painful detail of his/her past to the spouse, love is missing from the marriage.

Relationships are complicated and I find no problem with someone whose past doesn't interfere with the relationship not communicating it. If the relationship thrives status quo, then that's between them.


Respect is what I deserve.
NM
With all due respect moderator
I really do not think this is the poster.  I have read her posts and she has always been very nice and compassionate.  Not that it matters anymore, the poster that was starting arguments went under the handle of Z.  I admit I was also nasty as  she upset me by calling me a "goof" and kept escalating the discussion which then became a heated argument between the two of us.  I apologize for my involvement in that thread and should not have let someone get the better of me over something stupid.
We are lucky in that respect
If we lose power it is usually only for a couple hours. My in-laws lose power all the time though and usually for 24 hours or more.

We live on a county line too. Funny less than 2 miles down the road is where 1 county turns around. It is like a straight line the plow draws across the road.

I hope you don't live in Northern Michigan. That is sure to be a mess for your daughter to travel to. I hope she doesn't push it. It can be dangerous out there at a moments notice.
He should have respect for his father and

I did tell him last night that he was the one who made the decision to quit school, not us. We went as far as to walk him to the bus, watch him get on and when he got to school, he would go in one door and out the other. Sometimes he would even slip off the bus during another stop. When we went to court the last time, the judge gave us the option of emancipation after he looked at the records, so we did that. That way, he was responsible for himself and we would not be dragged into court again (it was our 4th time).


As for my DH not working, he states that he could find work if he tried. (He owns a tri-axle and we all know what kind of highway work is out there right now.) If he wants to get another job around here, it would have to be a coal mine or as an over-the-road truck driver being gone for weeks at a time. My gosh, DH will be turning 62 this year. Do I want him to do the above 2 jobs? He was an OTR for 32 years and he's all I have now, so that's not an option..


It's bad enough when he's gone from 5 a.m. to 8 p.m. when there is work, so he's no slouch and he has even gone to work when he had the gout so bad he could barely walk, while the son takes off work every time he gets a cold.


I was going to call him this morning (he's laid off right now) and tell him he owes his father an apology, but I think I will let it go for one last time, although DH stated last night he's done with him. I certainly don't want this to get any worse.


Respect or giving up your free will.
If she wants to go to church, and have that church a major part of her life, why should she give that up. He shouldn't have to go if he doesn't want to either. Sometimes divorce isn't a sad/bad thing.
I do appreciate life and have respect for animals.
I just don't think they should be shoved in my face.

I agree - there are many children in stores who should be taken outside to be handled. However, people are NOT animals.

Unfortunately, most doglovers cannot appreciate this difference.
Respect your opinion, but should only be last resort.
meow
I respect your opinion, but that beach is SM
very very small. During the week would be no problem, but forget about weekends.

Favorite South Florida beaches for me are 15th beach on South Beach, (but you have to have a great body! :)) and Hollywood Beach. That really is a lovely beach. Kind of cheesy boardwalk, but great beach.

North Fla, St. Augustine beach.

Sanibel Island also have really nice beach, but watch out for sand flies and red tide.
...staying when there's NO love and no respect for YOU. nm
s
Fear, not respect. It's not the same thing.

And the fear only lasts until they are bigger than you are and can hit back.  You'll probably be surprised when that happens and can't imagine where it came from, but you're the one who taught them that violence is an acceptable way to deal with problems.  Some other things it teaches are that it's OK to pick on/bully/hit anyone smaller than you who can't defend themselves in order to get what you want and that once you're an adult, anything goes.


Think about it.  You spank a kid for hitting a sibling while telling him it's not nice to hit.  You break the hair brush/ruler while paddling your kid for breaking something but you suffer no consequences for breaking something.  What you get is confusion and fear, but not respect.  Maybe the kid turns out OK; after all, there are other influences in his life.  Maybe he doesn't.  And if he doesn't, I hope he doesn't have a gun.


I really lose a lot of respect for the candidates
that talk back to the judges. I know that Simon can be very mean, but it is not like these kids don't know this. I think the singers should bite their tongue and just try to take the comments and try to improve their singing next week.
Yeah, E! is a little outdated in that respect!

Sometimes it cracks me up.


No,. that's not me. My children love and respect me.
and vice versa.

They know that they can come to me with all their problems and we talk about it and we sort them out together. They know exactly that there are boundaries. I would never forsake my children, never! And neither would they, because I set the example.
...You do for one another out of love and respect, not because you feel you "should"
s
I agree, they should receive more respect from students

and parents alike. I just don't believe they are underpaid for the actual hours they put in.


Agree. He's a pig and has totally no respect for you. Move on. nm
s
Be strong - your parents should respect you as an adult

Instead it seems like they are treating you like a child, expecting you to cater to their whims.


You can respectfully but firmly say to them that while you appreciate having extra time with them, the plans to go to your in-laws were made long ago and you have to respect them, also.


I'm sure your parents were aware of all this when they changed their plans. Just don't let them guilt you into doing something you will regret.


Stand strong, sista!


Respect is earned, not demanded, and certainly not an entitlement. nm
f
All spanking does is make kids respect you to your face (sm)
it does not teach them anything at all. When my kids were very young and I could not reason with them, they did occasionally get a swat to get them to listen to me, but once they are old enough to reason, there is no reason to use physical force on them. I am telling you, all it does is raise sneaky kids.
spanking builds fear that you mistake as respect
A child who has been abandoned by both parents has no trust in anyone. Why do you think spanking is the right way to build trust? We just need to agree to disagree on this issue. I trust the counselor's recommendations more than yours as hers have proven to work. Spanking does not _make_ ALL kids do good. Sigh.
The purebred was a rescue. The others are half-husky. I respect
several books on wolves. They're not "pets" like most people have, she has a sanctuary.
Deeni, I respect your opinion, but I held both my sons during circumcision......sm
my dirtly little secret, I used to be an LPN and CMA, used to surgical technology. It takes seconds, and while I had silent tears and I worried and fretted, but they were fine, and Nola is not misinformed here, being in clinical practice for years, and working for general surgeons, I saw many men, some in their 40s, 50s, and 60s, who had infection after infection because they could not retract the foreskin the right way, phimosis is painful and can become precancerous, and yes, we had some gentlemen with penile cancer. As I said, I was able to snuggle and nurse my baby boys both times right after circumcision, no problems. Men's anatomy is so different (!!!!) from female's (duh), so you cannot compare the unsterile, crude labial circimcisions done in third world countries with what is done in hospital for our baby boys. Anatomy just dictates this. I was so glad when my daughter was born, it was not even anything to worry about!
You may be, from the sounds of your posts, sounds like an *illegal*
and that in itself is a crime. Nobody else would take 65.00 for an entire day slaving/laundry, heavy cleaning, etc. LOL. Nah, I don't think so. I'm just saying, what it sounds like to me. : )
He sounds wonderful...sounds like you two have a relationship (sm)
based on love and nothing superficial at all. I'm glad you appreciate him and are so grateful for him. Best wishes & continued happiness to you both :-)
That actually doesn't look that bad!
I love pork especially at a pig roast...by the end of the day the meat just falls off the bones it is so tender. Doesn't look too terrifying!
Doesn't take much to get you going does it? nm
x
If a dog doesn't have anything
to do, he will occupy himself. His thing is barking, which isn't fair to the neighbors. I had a neighbor who'd let his laborador bark for hours on end while I was trying to work. Almost drove me insane. To catch a break I'd occasionally take a rawhide, stuff all the cracks with peanut butter, and throw it over the fence. Ah, blessed peace for a while.

Cesar Millan has a website. I'm sure you can get lots of ideas there. It's all about exercise, discipline and then affection. You have to communicate your leadership and also use up his energy and teach him what it is you expect of him.
Why doesn't she get her own
It sounds to me like she wants you to pay her bills.  She'll have to find a job and get a roommate like any one of us would.  Why should you compromise what you have with your boyfriend when she'll be coming age very soon and can be out on her own?  Let her know she's welcome to visit or whatever, but you'd rather see her pursue her own living quarters. 
That is my mom, she just doesn't get

it.  She also thinks it is because of my husband.  Nobody is good enough for me.  Doesn't matter who it is.  She has been telling everyone it is because she will not lend us money.  My husband and I both work our butts off and have never borrowed money from anyone but the bank. 


My brother and I have not been the closest and about two weeks ago, I called him.  I now believe that a lot of reason why we are not close is due to my mother.  He is four years younger and I was out of the house by the time he was 13.  I always got my mother's point of view of what was going on with him and I should have known better.  She told me he doesn't talk to her because she won't lend him money.  He and I thought we didn't have a lot in common, so most of the communication was between him and my mom, then mom would "tell" me.  He doesn't want her to see his son either, but being that he is divorced, his ex-wife allows her to see him.  He said that she was always intervening in his life, no matter what it was.  She kicked him out of her home when he was 15 and he has never looked back.  He now has his PhD as a recent graduate and is very successful.  We both believe it is a control issue with her. 


That leads to this, I have researched grandparents rights as well.  In Michigan, as long as the parents are married and fit parents, grandparents have no rights.  If you were never married, separated or divorced or worse yet, proved to be unfit, then they have rights to see the children.  Something to think about.


He doesn't like going out...
im at a loss because I am a social butterfly and I want the man that I love with me all the time. Don't get me wrong i LOVE my girls nights out, but I want him there sometimes. I think this is one of the main issues holding me back from getting married. I do respect that he doesn't like to dance, or go to bars... but he doesn't even like to go to my friend's houses... He is a little on the shy side and I have been with him 6 years (and we have known each other since we were in 7th grade - about 15 years-, lived down the street from each other...) And I can't see myself without him but I know this is keeping me from marrying him because I want that socialization. Even when we have a family I almost am positive I am going to want to have friends over with their kids... bbq's in the summer... stuff like that and he just isn't like me at all in that way. How do I deal with this? Oh yea even if he is willing to compromise I feel like he hates it though and that is still really hard for me to deal with. If he is just sitting there not having fun that's almost worse than him not coming at all... :( we are at a crossroads right now and that is why i am asking. we either stay together or dont...
I think the same way - if the OP doesn't
like the smoke, then she'd best look elsewhere. It's not fair to say "smoke outside" when they are paying the rent, too.  Some people just amaze me!
mine doesn't...
I make Paula Deen's southern cornbread dressing...go to Food Network's site and look up the recipe.  It's yummy, has no meat whatsoever, and makes a ton of dressing...HAPPY HOLIDAYS...
My mother's doesn't either...
Made with Pepperidge farm stuffing mix, white wine, mushrooms, celery, onions, chopped walnuts, seasoning. Not sure what else but it's different and delicious, still the best I've ever had!
Doesn't sound right
under those circumstances. Then whenever someone wanted new wall-to-wall they could just crap it up themselves and submit a claim and get a new rug.

At any rate, even if this is somehow true, the insurance company will only jack up your rate or drop you all together, so you're going to pay either way. And then you'll have a claim history and no other company will want you either.
I agree, it's more than just pot. Pot doesn't do that. sm
I have heard that taking Niacin helps clear out of your system faster as well as trying to "sweat" it out like he is. He also needs plenty of sunshine and you to be there for him. Rather than turning against him, stuck together with him and help him through it. It will make your relationship so much better in the long run and he needs the love and support of you to help him get to that place. Admire him for trying to break his addiction. It is very addicting. His rollercoaster of sweating, can't sleep, and emotional issues sound more related to crack/crank or methampetamines to me. I'd tell him in order for you to be supportive and helpful to him right now, he needs to at least be honest with you.
I can't tell the difference when something has MSG and when it doesn't. nm
x
I am not saying my hubby doesn't look
he just doesn't let me see him looking. Hey, I still look too.
He doesn't like the masks...
my DD has taken over the mask and my kids like to sleep with fans now too. I just turn them off before I go to bed.