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Sounds like he is jealous (sm)

Posted By: I think it is normal though on 2007-06-25
In Reply to: Normal or not? Son saying he hates h is sister (sm) - Just Mom

It sounds like he is craving your attention and just jealous of the younger sister to me.  I think it is normal for kids their age to talk like that.  I can't even tell you how many times my cousins and I and my sister and I said that about each other and there was anywhere from 1-5 years age difference.  It was almost always over someone getting more attention and/or praise or something like that. 




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I am jealous of you

I am jealous of all of you......

I have 2 of the most standoffish cats on the planet.  Lucky is my 3-year-old female that I rescued at 3 weeks of age or so when her mother abandoned her and her sibling.  I bottle fed her and everything...most pitiful thing you have ever seen.. You'd think she'd be a little grateful.  No, she's not. At least she has stopped biting now that she is more mature.  I accidently tripped over her in the dark one night on my way to bed...she raced me upstairs, ran under my bed and bit my foot as I was getting into bed.


Tripp is my almost 1 year old male and he a little more sociable.  Right now, he is sleeping on the couch in my office, which is what he usually does in the afternoons.  He loves to play, but hates to be handled or petted.  He actually ducks when you go to pet him.  We've had him since he was a kitten, so no history of abuse.  Just needs his space, I guess.  I've always had cuddly cats it the past, so these two are a disappointment to me in that department.  But I love them anyway.


I'm SO jealous!
I'm in Texas and we are pushing 90 degrees! 
jealous
I'm probably the most jealous, insecure woman in the world. No way would my husband be that close to a woman, job or not. I'm ashamed of the fact now, but DH and I had a very long-term affair before we divorced and married each other. He is a bartender and I know exactly how people stray. Has everything to do with both the person and the environment. Put anyone in a conducive environment and see what happens. No one is immune. If people think so, they are fooling themselves. I'm not a kid anymore - 52 - talking from experience. Blast away, ladies - like I said, I'm ashamed now, but still remember vividly!
I'm jealous!

Here in the south, we can't even get rain, much less snow!  Enjoy some for me...I'm jealous...


I AM SO JEALOUS!!!! nm
nm
I'm Jealous!!!!!
x
Sorry, that was mean. I'm just jealous
mm
Jealous of what? Because she can drive
NM
I'm jealous, I wish I had such an account
as a secret one so I could sock away some extra $$ !!!
Aw - Poor Lil Ole You - Jealous, huh? (nm)
x
jealous...congrats wish it were me
Keep  me posted...I want to know everything.
People get jealous sm
If you are doing well, I find people, especially other women, get jealous and mean. I literally knocked myself silly for a neighbor, I cannot tell you how many things I have gone overboard for her because the family was going through tough times. I even lost valuable time working and had to pull all nighters. She called me one day and said, "We can't all be you up in your office."Various other things were said that cut me to the core. I helped her run a fund raiser when she obviously did not know how to do it and it was a huge success and she took all the credit (at church). I was a true friend to her and gave my all. A plain thank you note or word would have done. The worst scenario was when I went in for surgery on my breast and she never called to see how I was. I called her and told her my biopsy was non-cancerous as the first came back DCIS, and she just said, "hmmm" as if "who cares." I'm done with false friends. From now on I only depend on myself or my DH, hurt too many times. She also told me she does not make thousands of dollars at a time, well, you have to work your buttocks off and by the time Uncle Sam and all the rest get paid, it's not always thousands. They are jealous because we are entrepeneurs in our own right, I guess. If they only knew - but they don't!
and I have to confess, I am a little bit jealous of them.
I think it would be so much easier to live with a woman than a man. No more History Channel or freakin Dirty Jobs!
Mexico is jealous of Miss USA
Speaking of bilingual signs....call any customer service number, including Social Security, and what do you hear.

I say press 1 for English, otherwise hang up!!!
Not so much jealous, as they just can't get a handle on why things
m
I have a MIL who was jealous of any time I spent - sm
with my family. It caused a lot of hurt feelings on her side, and just made me angry for the most part. You don't sound anything like my MIL though but it sounds like you did not push the issue and fight for the right to see your grandchildren. In my situation, I married 1 of 2 sons. The other has never married or had any children. We have the only grandchildren for my MIL. She was manic that we have kids though she was vastly disappointed when we had girls and has remarked on this several times in the past. It is true we trusted my mom over her in terms of childcare, etc. though my mom rarely watched the kids as she lived 4 hours away. I did visit my mom at least 4-6 x a year, but I would drop in and visit my MIL and my FIL almost every time as I literally drove right by their house on the way up to my parents. My DH rarely calls his parents, I usually call his mom once a week and chat for a while. She used to never call but lately has taken to calling every 2 weeks or so. We also used to see his parents at least once a month for at least 5 years (now it is every 6-8 weeks), day visits, while my parents only saw the kids 4-6 x a year, though I would stay anywhere from 2-5 nights when I visited. This where the jealously came into play. I was/am very close to my parents and my brothers, much like your DIL I suspect. But I was exceptionally close to my mom, when she died almost 3 years ago my world fell apart. But my MIL was always jealous of my relationship with my mom, it drove her nuts I think. My DH tried to explain to her how close were were but she just could not understand and it caused her (and me) many problems. I would catch such grief from his family when I told them I was going to see my parents/friends, it was as if they wished I did not have a family. Holidays were horrible though we did do an alternating schedule though she would argue with me about that. Things a lot different now as she now gets to be the only grandma, which I am sure she loves. My stepmother is actually better with the kids though and has a great time with them, though I will never be close to her either. My in-laws get just about all the holidays now since my mom is gone and my stepmom wants to be with her kids not her husbands, so I don't get so see my family much anymore, maybe 2 x a year. Much more complicated these days, though we still don't let them (my in-laws) have the kids as they lack in common sense bigtime when it comes to what is safe and smart for my kids. I am not saying that is the case with you as I don't know your particulars of course. But it sounds like you just gave up. I would not try buying your son's love as it sounds like you did try. I know my in-laws tried though we were up front with them with one money gift they gave us that enabled us to pay off our truck in 1 year instead of 4, that it would not buy them weekends with the kids, etc. We told them that if there were strings we did not want the money. Money does not buy love as the Beatles said, very true. I would write back your granddaughter and say you would like to have a new beginning with her and the past is over and done with , and if she ever does want to know the real story, tell her. As for your son, have you even called him and invited him to your new home, it does not sound like it. Sounds like you expect a lot and are upset because they don't do the same for you as they do for the daughter's parents. The daughter controls the kids for the most part (as do most women) so it is to be expected that her family gets their "favor" more. You need to step up and be assertive. My in-laws do do most of the visitings here (we have actually never invited them here, they just call us and say that they are coming down on such and such a day, kind of aggravating), we rarely go up there as my DH just hates going there and really does not like his parents due to a bad upbringing. They really did a number on him. Does your son have any anamosity towards you? Did something bad happen in the past? You are long overdue for a long talk with him though. But I work hard to keep the lines open with them as much as I don't like doing it, I do it. My kids love them and I would never deprive them of that. I hope you take the first step and write to your granddaughter again, and call you son. You have absolutely nothing to lose at this point. Good luck.
How do you handle being jealous of stepkids?

Big problem, girls!  I have a stepdaughter that I am so jealous of I cannot see straight most of the time when she is here.  The child is 9 years old and has her daddy so wrapped up that when she is here I am just pushed aside completely.  He does not see it, thinks I am just overreacting and is even to the point of starting to take her and spend his visitation time somewhere else and not bring her around me.


I do not begrudge her getting her daddy's attention... I just feel that I should be involved more.  If they are watching a movie, he loves on her and holds her while I am pushed over to the recliner by myself, when its time to go to bed, I go to bed alone while he sleeps with her and if I want him in the bed with me, I have to wait until she goes to sleep and then go wake him up and ask him to come to bed with me.  We cannot close our door when she is here because she will get upset and start banging on it and crying and he will run right out to her (even if we are in the middle of a conversation), we cannot sit together on the bed and watch TV even if she is in her room by herself because as soon as she knows he is in the room with me she starts hollering for him and he runs to her and then proceeds to crawl up in her bed and watch TV with her.  If they are going somewhere it is usually just the two of them and I am not invited because they need to spend some time together.


Granted, he does not get her on a regular basis (his fault, not mine) and he wants her to know that he loves her, but why can't he see that I should be included too?  He wants me to love her and spend time with her and do things with her (especially when there is a football game on he wants to watch, or somewhere he wants to run with the guys for a little while), but then he makes it where I don't want to because once he is ready for her back, I am just pushed aside. 


She calls me "She", not my name; she does not acknowledge me when she comes in the door until he forces her to speak to me; after our living together since she was 4 years old she gets very upset and says that I am not her daddy's girlfriend and that I am just a "friend" and she tells everybody that.  I feel like he enforces that idea when he pushes me aside and he says I am just being ridiculous and selfish by wanting him to spend more time with me when she is here.  I don't even ask him to forego time with her, I just want him to make some time for me (maybe give her a bedtime and have grownup time with me after she is asleep even?).


Am I just ridiculous as he says, or am I right in feeling the way I do?  Help, please...


Jealous is not the correct word here
Not a jealous bone in my body. Reading what was said under mine, like no one ever had sex, OMG, victorian like posts to this one where it seems okay to join in and tell how often you indulge. Some joker even saying it should be banned. For what I have no idea. I did not cross any lines and now this. Like one who answered said, they had seen much worse on these postings and so have I. My life is so rich not enough time to be jealous of anyone or anything.
Don't be jealous of those who are thin...most CAN do something about their weight if they tried.
NM
And I think someone is jealous, what's wrong, no male attention for you? lol
I totally agree with the OP. I too have been inappropriately treated by men, uncomfortable staring or smiling or flitatious comments and it gets a little tiresome. The problem is that men never grow up. They would do this into their 90s if they could still see!
I'm jealous that you have garden food ready now...sm
Good luck keeping the critters out so you can eat it all yourself!
I think it's rude (and they're jealous) if they tell you to cut your hair due to age
If your husband likes it, and you like it, who cares what anyone else thinks!

I wish my mom (age 75) would let hers grow a little. She wants it cut really short all the time and I think it looks awful.

Also, your ears never stop growing, the older you get the larger they get, so why not keep them covered? LOL
I did want to show you guys my mom's FIVE dogs..I'm a little jealous of them..sm
They are so spoiled, as you can see....She doesn't have time to MT because she has to watch them all day long!
Who's jealous? I'm not overweight. I just choose not to dress
like a prostitute, or someone proud of their anus hairs - lol. I've obviously struck a nerve with you though... Don't worry, you'll grow out of it someday and realize you're worth more than that.
very common for anyone wanting a life, LOL! i have one and my DH is kinda jealous of me using it so
agree, sex toy parties are great fun and there are actually a lot of things for men there too for themselves or to use on you also. tell him he ought to be thankful it is a toy to enjoy and you are out playing the field, lol. but FYI, get a brief case and lock it up!!! i have had my kids find mine too and it was a double header so it was really, really embarrassing. DH bought it years ago and i only used one end but it was still great.
Yes, and cats are very possessive abnd jealous, but adorable..nm
nm
So you're jealous that we didn't want to hear about hot your times were? Seriously? nm
x
You may be, from the sounds of your posts, sounds like an *illegal*
and that in itself is a crime. Nobody else would take 65.00 for an entire day slaving/laundry, heavy cleaning, etc. LOL. Nah, I don't think so. I'm just saying, what it sounds like to me. : )
He sounds wonderful...sounds like you two have a relationship (sm)
based on love and nothing superficial at all. I'm glad you appreciate him and are so grateful for him. Best wishes & continued happiness to you both :-)
Sounds like you are doing everything right...

Hang in there.  It sounds to like you are doing everything right.  I totally agree that kids are under too much pressure these days and that they certainly need to be given more time to just be kids.  Being a single mom I try make sure that my children grow up to be responsible adults with good morals and values, but I also make sure that they have their space so they have a chance to make their own choices (when possible) and see the consequences of those choices.  Being a parent is certainly not easy and doing it in today's society is stressful to say the least. 


As for your neighbor, I think she could take some lessons from you.  Good luck and keep your chin up!!! 


Sounds to me like . . .
she has the attention she wanted, it's almost like you took her bait. She sent you nasty Emails and now you are begging her to forgive you. You know the the saying "Don't cast pearls before swine". Sounds like she can more easily respond to the negative rather than the positive. Anyway, what would you do if she forgave you? Be her friend again? Until she changes her heart, you're better off, keep your distance. She sees your goodness as weakness. It's probably fun for her to make you uncomfortable. Maybe deep down she is jealous of you. Don't hate her, be sad for her. Don't fall into her games.
sounds like a CC I used to have, which did--sm
pretty much the same thing. They said it was their *annual fee* and, like you, I just paid it to keep the peace and close the account. Personally I think it is a scam just to get a few more dollars out of you, but how do you prove it and who do you complain to??? I don't have credit cards any longer either. Learned my lesson too. what a rip!
Sounds like (sm)
your FIL has two abled bodies to care for him already.  Why should you go back?  It would probably be nice if you checked in once in a while and took your 2-year-old to visit, but moving back sounds like it would put a strain on things.  Your husband may be feeling guilty and feels the need to "help".  Explain to him that helping is taking some groceries once in a while or offering to pick-up meds, etc.  You, your husband, and child would be probably a breath of fresh air once in a while if you were to just visit on occasion.  Moving back seems a little like overkill, but it is tough because when it is family you want to give it your all!  Also, there is one in every family that "freeloads".  Let them figure it out for now.  Hope your FIL is feeling better soon and hope you can find your way to be helpful without having to sacrifice your new home....  Take care and good luck... 
sounds mean . . .sm
but when my daughter and husband were pulling that on me I told my daughter it was not safe that she could die very easily in the front seat or get hurt very badly. She quit asking, daddy quit doing it. Now she is 12-1/2 and no problem there, she is 5Ƌ" and weighs about 130 pounds. But I used to get SO FRUSTRATED!!! Daddy's little girl . . . .
Don't know that one, but it sounds sm
like a good time.  if you are in for an evening away from the parks. I have friends who own Sleuth's dinner theater.  Three theaters, dinner included, plus one is only for kids, I think.  You enjoy a great dinner, and a murder mystery play, where you take part in solving the mystery.  It is right on Universal Drive and I think the website is sleuths.com
sounds like your going to anyway.
but i would urge you to proceed with caution, go very very slowly. When it seems too perfect, too good to be true, it may be wrong. One of my first thoughts is that if he is the spiritual man you think, ie, Christian, he might not have had 2 divorces -- not always the case, but often times. you both need to know what your own faults are and be careful to not make the same mistakes. More than anything (outside of knowing each other very well, nonintimately) is have real committment on both sides, the determination to stay with the marriage. i married a man with 2 divorces too -- 25 yr later we're still married. But it was sheer determination to make it work on my part, lots of prayer and such. I did endure what one should not have to, to get to this point. Once i was into it, i certainly understood how come he had been divorced twice. Wishing you the best.
Sounds like now as of this a.m.

Apparently the so-called lawyer owns a business called Hot Lips Smoochy or something like that and has never tried any cases at all.  He is apparently the executor of her estate.  Now isn't that convenient?  He tells the photographer Daddy that she lost the baby, but she winds up having a baby anyway 9 months later.  The photographer breaks it off with her because she is drinking while pregnant.  Oh my, the gossip.  She looks like she's all drugged-up on any interviews I've seen, and I saw one last night from 3 days before her death.  She is wearing dark glasses for the first part (inside), and they go outside, and she takes the glasses off.  Makes no sense.  I don't know, but what does Granny want with the baby now?  That poor baby!  So many Daddies??????  I have never seen men trying to prove they ARE the father in all of my life?  Twists and turns this story has, which I'm sure has the producers in Hollywood salivating.  There will be books and there will be moves.  Life happens, I guess. 


It sounds to me like you are not even willing --sm
to compromise on this and want everything YOUR way. What arrangement does HE want? Do you even know? You never said what HE would like. It is just my opinion, but it does not sound like you are even ready to get married, if you cannot find a way to compromise on even this small detail. Good luck to you.
Sounds to me like you were just being
very thoughtful, and I bet he appreciates you as much as you seem to appreciate him. What a wonderful thing!
She sounds like quite a gal . . .
especially the part about being a practicing Buddhist. She probably marched to the beat of a different drummer. The doctors might have saved her but who knows what quality of life she might have. My mom, dad, aunts all were healthy until their 80s. They end up in a nursing home. My aunt is 90, she's really been dying for a year, they keep on prolonging it. I think death at some point may be a blessing. You're going through a mourning process. Your tears are for you, you'll miss her, she'll be in a better place. You are going to have to brace up and take comfort in your faith.
Actually should be It sounds.....nm
nm
sounds like my SIL
We had a chow years ago. We raised him from a pup and he was very protective of all of us but especially the kids. ANY kids for that matter.

The kids in the yard, someone comes up the driveway, he was there. Would not let anyone get between him and those kids. Didn't matter if they were our kids or their friends. He never bit anyone but he wasn't going to let anyone take "his" kids either.

Never did that to the parents of the kids either, just total strangers that he didn't know. For Chow's, he had an exceptional personality and never saw him so much as growl at anyone. He would bark but would back away as he was barking.

My SIL's chow is a rescue so who knows how he was raised.
She just sounds like someone who has --sm
to pick and pick until she starts an arguement. Try to ignore her. If you don't give her what she wants, she will go away. just my opinion.
sounds like it to me . . .
I've seen two physicians recently, one who specializes in anxiety, and they think the crude policy under my current company of having to "make up" any time I take off is burning me out, promotes physical and mental self-neglect and is fueling an anxiety disorder. "That's sick," is actually what one said, and put me on a mild anxiolytic temporarily and told me to find a way out. The company says "everyone else does it" like I'm some kind of freak or bad MT, but in talking to other MTs there I'm finding the majority saying no they're not or they are frying themselves out doing it and have also complained about it. Having to always "make up" a day off is not a day off and does not promote rest. I'm having to learn to take the doctors' advice I'm typing for, letting go and taking care of myself. :-) The consequences of not doing so are much more dire. It kills me they have an EAP program. Seems to me investing in just letting people have a life would be more efficient. Recently bought out, the new company acted like it was a plus to keep this crappy policy. Yeah, right.

I'm really, really close to singing "Take this job and shove it . . . " Shame, because it's an otherwise decent company, um, unless you want a life.

Watching all my family enjoy this weekend as a 3-day weekend while I type. Sometimes I wake up and cry before starting work because I feel like I can't get a break from this job without consequences.

WORDS OF WISDOM: When applying for an MT job, ASK CAREFULLY about the EXACT way "time off" is calculated and quiz their MTs, not the administrative people who have never done MT. What looks good on paper . . .
Sounds like they don’t have a pot to
pi..s… in. These sound like grown folks and I do not consider myself a bank, therefore do not loan money out even to my grown KIDS. Only could a child move in with me if they were sick and unable to take care of their own self. Sounds like they have no responsibility about financial business. Sorry they would just have to do things on their own. Loaning money (or giving it away, whatever the case is) only makes relationships strained. I do not sign as collateral for anyone, do not take stray folks in, do not run a banking business.
sounds
That sounds very pretty. You can also do just a border around the top of the wall with the sponge paint effect. That way it keeps it from being too much green!
Sounds to me like
although getting paid, maybe not the right 1 to be trying to watch the kids. I am a grandmother myself. This sounds like she is irritated by their actions and maybe they did kick her more than you OR maybe with her older legs it just hurts her more. My legs now are a lot different from when I had children as far as the aches and pains, even bruises and sometimes cuts just show up without your knowing where they exactly came from. Yes, she is offended they said something about her legs (even though on the 7 year old I would know probably too young to really understand what the veins were) but she is getting back at them now and trying to get her point across - even if they arent understanding she is trying to make them understand. I don’t see this as a really workable situation. It has been 2 weeks and already everyone at everyone else. Not a good situation. Pretty soon grandmom and kids just doing tit for TAT at each other. Maybe a good sit down and talk it over or else grandmom goes back home and you get someone who is a little younger and able to corral the kids better?
Sounds like you are doing everything right to me - sm
I lived at home for years as it was too expensive to get your own place where my parents were unless you had a really, really good income, which I did not have unfortunately. I did not have a firm curfew once I went to college but it was understood they prefered I be home by 1 a.m. which I ususally abided by, if I knew I was going to be out later I told them, or if I was not coming home at all, I told them. They always knew who I was out with too, and the general plan for the evening. I never really resented it, yeah it was a drag sometimes but at least they cared enough to ask and try and keep me out of trouble (they don't know half of the stupid stuff I did do and never got in trouble for; i.e. going out with stranger met in a parking lot, that sort of stuff, nothing criminal). One thing that will stop her from staying out really late is make her get a summer job, that is one thing that kept me from staying out all hours, sleep was necessary to get up at 6:45 and be at work at 8:00 (til 5pm). My parents paid my tuition but I paid for all the supplies, books, etc., and I also worked 2 jobs at school. Sounds like she needs something to keep her busy and grow up some. If she does not shape up, pull the car privileges unless it is to go to work, and have her pay her own car insurance and cell phone, that may wise her up to life.
Sounds like when I got...sm

a Christmas card from a friend AFTER Christmas.  I still don't know what was up with that. 


BTW~ My friends threw me a surprise birthday brunch today for my 40th birthday and I have already started writing my thank you notes!


Sounds like her first kid and she has never
been around others to me.