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Until they become family they are a guest...

Posted By: sm on 2007-03-23
In Reply to: college kids sleeping together - NEED AN OPINION

and should sleep in the guest room like anyone else! Totally agree :)


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Are you the hostess or the guest for this Thanksgiving? If a guest, what
s
I'm a guest
We go to my parent's house every year. We usually just bring some cornbread or some type of dessert.
Guest...
And all the guests bring a covered dish, a dessert, and a drink. The hostess does the meat (turkey) and a veggie or 2, plus desserts...plus all the cleaning, planning, etc., which is why I'm glad it's not my year to hostess!
Guest books are not new
I had one at my wedding 22 years ago.  I was also guest book attendant for a friend from high school.  Got there early, got to see everyone as they came in and say hi to people I hadn't seen in awhile.  Not that big of a deal.  Of course, she didn't tell me what I had to wear, either.
No, I mean she is the ONLY guest of honor and I am ignored (sm)
We have to celebrate how she wants, where she wants, etc. and she is lavished with attention while I am barely acknowledged as being a mother that day at all. Of course she still qualifies as a mother - but I am one too!
Why do they need someone in charge of the guest book?
You leave it on the table by the placecards, and people sign it when they get their table assignments. I have never seen anyone in charge of a guest book before. Talk about micromanaging.
Your post, she is always the guest of honor?
even though you are still raising children does not make sense to me. Do you mean once a child grows up you don’t qualify for a mother anymore?
Is it rude to ask a house guest

how long they will be staying.  My MIL came Sunday to go to a doctor's appointment Monday. Well, the doctor appointment is over and it is already Wednesday and she is still here.    She does tell us pretty much when she is coming but there is no end in sight.  She is super sensitive and cries a lot with "you don't want me" so I don't know how to ask without any water works.  I just want to know what to expect. 


The other day Racheal Ray had a guest with a good suggestion.
She soaked a cotton ball with vanilla extract, placed in a cute, little glass dish and set it in her fridge.  Bet that would work for you!!! 
The guest list is up to the bride & groom....sm
no one else!  Of course if grandma wants to foot the bill for the wedding then I'm sure they'd consider her desires. 
I once was assigned guest book duty.
Like you, I didn't know what that entailed. When I arrived at the reception, I was told to hold the thing as people walked up and signed it. Basically, I was a human podium. If that's what the bride wants you to do, tell her to leave it on the table! How rude of her to expect so much! Show up in the red dress and don't even sign the silly guest book!
This new guest book thing is dumb anyway
something else to add to the list of a gazilion ways to fawn all over the couple! Gag. Who really cares? Can you believe people are so full of themselves these days? It's truly mind boggling. And with the divorce rate being 50% or higher, why do they even bother?

I'd definitely be there in my red dress for sure, would maybe even stuff my bra so my cleavage popped out!
Anything to get out of the dumb guest book thing!

It's actually insulting, you too are supposed to be a guest :)

Let us know what happens!!!
Missouri wedding guest...please report in! :) nm
s
What's the point of a guest book, anyway? They'll have the cards and
s
Totally agast, unwelcomed guest, how to handle
Last Christmas my husband's nephew was invited for Christmas breakfast and his friend came along. They were from out of town. They about ate us out of house and home and the friend after breakfast helped himself to the remote, changed channels and then spread across the couch and decided to go to sleep. These guys have no manners (older group here and they are hip-hop type guys). They later went to another family's home where they again were unmannerly. Get this, now the nephew calls (we had invited some other people) and he told husband he said he would be glad to give these people a ride!  I know he probably is planning to have another dinner here (now not only his friend is in town but also wife and 4 kids). I would be so mortified to have all those folks show up, I probably would be very, very rude and it would be Christmas. My husband is not confrontational and did not say anything when his nephew said he offered to bring others and from another state. Ok, what would you do in this situation? Thanks!
Brunch guest who can't have dairy or salt - snowed in!

Out of ideas! Also, looking for simple recipe for brunch requiring stuff I have on hand. Martha always has some confounded ingredient I never heard of. Lost my hash brown recipe. Have frozen hash browns, sour cream, cr. chicken soup, butter & chips, forgot how I put them all together last time. Locked in, more snow coming, zero degrees in NE, don't even know if people will make it here. I'm frustrated. Have a spiral ham on hand, thank goodness! Sounds like I'll be cooking but will they come in the stormy weather. Darned if I do, darned if I don't!  The no dairy, no salt thing is driving me up the walls.


Oh well, have a happy holiday. Tip: Put furniture polish or cooking oil on your snow shovel and the snow won't stick.


A guest book attendant is not a bridal party member and should
s
Family is great but I am never back in my hometown where family is... So I always have extended fami
You can always pick your friends your stuck with your family. An Xmas for me is where my husband and kids come home to. It is what you make it!
Summer. Friends or family? Family. Tired or Awake?
x
Big difference between family values and family jewels, eh? lol
LOL. I love this show. I think Gene and Shannon and her sister are a riot! What characters. It really is amazing to me the kids seem so laid back and so normal. They seem like great kids.
Does your family still do the early Sunday dinner w/family?
s
SIL family, us and another family snacked,played
x
family
No she did not have Daniel throughout his whole life but there were times when he shouldn't have been with her but her mother would not take him without money. She was living in a motel with a bfriend and Daniel. She was broke and it was not pretty she had some really rough times and she was not always the "playboy" girl she worked in some really raunchy clubs.

I dont know about a brother but it has been a long long time age I do remember meeting a "sister" once and lots of different "boyfriends". There was always someone with their hand out.

I give her mother the benefit of the doubt but look at how things are going and what her mother is doing. There have been lots of back and forths in Vergie and Nicki's relationship and none of it has EVER appeared loving. Nicki was not innocent but I think she grew up and moved on with her life and her mother still wants to talk about her little Vicki.

No one is perfect not me, not you neither was Nicki, but her past was her past and she needs to be laid to rest, she went to extremes to establish her wishes let her be. Nicki is gone but the baby is here and needs to be sheltered from all this hoopla!!!
when it is a family, the family tends to think

since an addition is being made to a family during pregnancy, a lot of families see themselves as pregnant - as one - as a whole unit...nothing wrong with it - actually makes the entire family participate in it, which is a GREAT thing............not like the men of the 1950s who went to work and the moms did absolutely  everything else....I like men/families who WANT to take part and be involved.


Old fashioned or not - I prefer the way the men participate today in all of it..........makes for better communication and all know what's going on in the family....


FYI to all, keep your old fashioned minds open because a closed mind will make you old WAY before your time.



There are 4 in our family and we each sm
get to pick one definite thing to do. My hubby says that is his pick. LOL
All the best for you and your family and keep..sm
  Keep us posted here - I will remember your *handle* countrymt and will be on the lookout for your posts!!!      
I have family down there
My husband is originally from Boston, and we go down about once a month or so for a few days to visit his parents, brother, etc. It's kind of like a second home for me!
Family
My heart goes out to you, as I too understand that kind of pain from family. Just know that it is not you that is causing this rift. It is your brother, not his wife even though it is obvious that she is doing the manipulating. Your brother should not be able to be manipulated so easily by his wife's insecurities and jealousy of your relationship. Unfortunately in life, and in families perceptions get screwed up with time, and distance, and if one does not hold true to their fondness of one another, or respect or what I call the family gene that holds a family together through thick or thin, then there is nothing you can do about this situation. He obviously cannot hold true to his feelings for you because of his wife's insecurities. Just let things be and don't become bitter or begin to cut yourself off. Sometimes things change down the road for the better.
re: family
Yes it is sad that the family unit is being seen less and less. Yes self control is a responsibility....but that comes from the Lord...that is a fruit of the Spirit...so what I'm saying is it is our sin nature to stray and we will be held accountable for that sin...the only way to be forgiven for it is to ask Jesus for forgiveness and accept Him as our Saviour...don't know if I'm wording this correctly....
I pray that you get what I'm trying to say that we all need Jesus...I pray that I worded correctly...
Yes, my family sm
DH and my mom didn't get along well (although she was quite controlling and wanting to run our lives after we got married, and I do understand where he was coming from). Eleven years ago we moved 300 miles away. Now I see my mom and other relatives only very occasionally. Luckily she can come see us once in a while. I have to beg DH to go there, and my vision is so bad I can't drive it myself.

I haven't been "home" in 2-1/2 years this time. And yeah, I regret it.

I miss my mom, my family and my friends. But DH is never gonna change, and I have 3 kids, and I'm stuck. :(
My family went to while once and after just
10 seconds inside my DD backed out. My DH valiantly stayed with her while I went through with DS. I asked before hand to make sure they could not touch me...that is my biggest fear also. They told me there was defintely a "No Touch Rule". My DH and DD told the guy at the front my name so I heard all through house my name being repeated in a very spooky voice. One "monster" did come right up to me and I just kept saying "no touch rule, no touch rule, no touch rule". He stuck to the rules and I did feel better after that. Needless to say DS loved every minute of it.
To you and your family
My heart goes out to you and all the people in CA dealing with this horrendous threat.  In the national news this a.m. (Wednesday) they stated conditions are improving in order for the firefighters to try to get in and attack these monstrous fires.  Best of luck to you all.  Keep us posted, if at all possible.
I have family there and know quite a bit about it. sm
Anything specific, such as area? Jobs?
family
Hey, Hayseed - You can adopt our family.  We have enough of this kind of stuff going on, we can keep you feeling "loved" for the rest of your life!  Seriously, have great nieces and nephew who desparately need to be loved.  Your're welcome any time.
Here's what we do in our family....
I work 2 jobs, my husband and son scrap for extra money. They go out the night before garbage day, or the morning of. We have a flat trailer that has different buckets on it and they sort everything they find. They have break down the big stuff into its components and smaller pieces. You would be amazed at what the scrap yards will take and how much they pay.
For my family
It has had an effect on some with job loss and problems finding a new job. Luckily for me and my hubs we have been able to hold ours. Gas prices are outrageous as well as groceries, I have noticed the same as you. We live in an area where you have to drive quite a distance for any work - hence my decision to work at home in transcription and take a paycut. Had I known nearly 10 years ago that it would cost so much in gas we wouldn't be living where we do...but that's hindsight and nothing I can do about that now. We have talked about selling our house and moving but that seems like a lost cause. Working at home has definitely payed
off as every time gas prices go up, in a roundabout way I feel like I have gotten a raise.

I am buying generic more often and we have cut back on junk food. No chips, ice cream, soda, anything. We just can't afford it. If I'm going to spend the money I want to spend it knowing we are getting nutrition packed in.

we also grew a garden this summer to help cut back on produce costs.
Very much like my family - 2 each + 1 together sm

My biological mom moved out of state when I was in 3rd grade, and my stepmom's first husband had died in a car accident. Plus my sister and stepbrother are less than 2 months' apart in age, which mostly didn't get noticed because she moved out of state with my mom while I stayed with my dad. The only thing that caused confusion was that my stepsister and I have almost identical names (similar first name, same middle name, last name with same first initial), and the oldest 4 of us all have names starting with M. When my brother was born, they gave him name starting with J


my family has quite a few ...
some others below posted a couple we do - peanut butter and banana ( which I have decided to save for when I'm toothless :D ) and peanut butter and dill pickles, but I prefer it on toast, lotsa crunch!

My grandfather liked peanut butter with thick slices of walla walla sweet onions and put enough garlic powder on the peanut butter you couldn't see it's color. When I was little he told me one time it's why he never got sick, I said sure, nobody will get close enough to give you their germs!

My mom loves to put ketchup on just about anything, especially scrambled eggs. She also used to buy the cans of Campbell's bean with bacon condensed soup and make a sandwich with it, with ketchup, of course!

My brother was/is addicted to salt. We used to find the salt shaker hidden in his room where the top was all crusted over from licking it to eat the salt. :P

gotta admit my family is weird to say the least! lol
I'm so sorry for you and your family
Losing a pet is always so hard. Sending your whole family love and hugs.
family

I find it interesting that when a young woman posted that her mother and grandmother were abusing her, no one felt sorry for her.  Everyone one told her to forgive and forget.  I also find it interesting how judgemental everyone was about who was the victim. That the grandmother and the mother were the victim and not the daughter.  It seems ironic given the long, long, long, posts on domestic violence this morning.


Our family pet
has eye problems as well. She can barely see any more and we help her get around. We make sure she is fed at the same time every day, in the same place. The vet wants her to lose weight but she is fat and happy and at 13 years old we feel that is the most important for her. She is a small dog and still gets around well but we take her outside and watch her closely. I understand how difficult it is to watch and see a pet deteriorate.

We lost this dog's Aunt 2 years ago. She had many more health problems but was still perky and able to get around well. She died while we were at work and the vet said it was most likely heart failure. She never suffered though.

I feel for your loss. It is never something easy and will be with you forever. But I think it is important to remember the good times and the positive impact that the pet had in your life. It's too bad there is not more options for comfort care for our pets like there is for humans. Our family would have been so empty without any of these pets. My pets are truely my babies.
Family

Wanted to let you know you are not alone.  I went through a similar situation myself.  I married this wonderful man, and while I knew he had really down moments, I did not realize they were to that extent.  After moving 10 hours away from my parents and support system of friends I found out some very shocking news.  He had bipolar manic depressive disorder.  I loved this man, I even allowed him to adopt my son.  Then the worst thing happened, I came home to find him sitting on the floor with a knife.  I was scared so of course I called his father and mother.  We checked him into  a facility and while doing the interview/intake my MIL relates to the nurse that he had previously attempted to take his life.  He had done this several times.  I sat there in shock I knew nothing of this.  I can clearly remember the look in my FIL eyes when he seen that I was not privy to this information.  I was hurt and angry and still am to an extent.  I still love this man to this day but had to let him go as that is what he wanted.  My inlaws and I had several long talks one resulting in me becoming so angry I told my mother in law that she was allowing this behavior and I thought she was to blame for all of his problems.  If she had been a better mother this would not be happening.  I hurt her that night and I regret it now.  When I did make amends she told me she knew I was just hurt scared and needed to vent.  I think you will find that is what you have done.  There will come a time for you to make your amends, when you are ready. I do not feel that you were being out of line when you said these things.  That is how you feel.  We have to own our feelings because running from them will never help.  You are hurting right now.  My guess is you are frustrated as well.  Help was all you asked for and none was provided.  You have a right to those feelings.  I would just drop this idea of another email.  Why do you have to be sorry?  You have children and a husband who is ill concentrate on them.  They need you.  Best of luck to you and your family. 


family first
How about everyone promise to not get divorced, put their families first, and do everything possible to provide stability for their children?
I have to see if anyone in my family - sm
is even on Facebook. I do have a page there, but make sure I don't post anything I that would be "harmful" to me. The worst thing I have on there is a picture a friend posted of me standing on the beach in a one piece bathing suit, well covered, plus I am flat as a board it it at 16...still am, and don't post anything bad, naughty or stupid. I will check out the prepaid options though, especially once I know what our monthly usage is from verizon, so have a month to check around I guess and make sure I don't get sucked into anything more than I pay now.
family
I always let the kids have parties with their friends instead. We don't include family. They would take it as milking them for gifts, so we invite them over when they are not required to bring anything. My family does not send my kids gifts for their birthdays.
If she has family, let them know that is going on

My mom used to do that. UPS was always stopping at her place delivering something from QVC or HSN EVERY DAY! I soon found out that she had maxed out all her credit cards. She was going into early dementia stages and really didn't remember ordering all that stuff, and all she really had was $500 a month SS, yet her CC payments were close to that a month because of it. That's when I stopped watching, too.


If this woman has family, I'd let them know about it, so they could try to stop it before it gets out of hand.


Family

I need some advice.  I married my husband almost 3 yrs. ago.  I have an adopted son from a previous marriage.  My husband's family is very close, sisters all live within walking distance of each other.  They have never experienced life without the other.  I did not have family very close like that while growing up so it took some getting used to.  Which I thought I had.  Until this.  Little over a year and a half ago my husband's grandmother died.  My father in law put together a  memorial CD to be played at the service, afterwards we all recieved a copy.   Which was very nice.  I still have it. 


Since my husband and I both work and we have a son who at this point in time cannot stay by himself, and because my husbands mother loves him he goes there until one of us get done with work.  Yes I make sure she is paid.  My son came home last week and asked me if he would be sad like everyone at grandmas house when I died.  I was taken aback.  Mainly because I haven't really thought about dying and I was confused about the question.  When I asked him to explain to me what he was talking about this is what I got.


Well every morning at grandmas she makes us watch the great grandma video her and the other aunts all cry and carry on.  It is to the point that the youngest in the family who was only 3 weeks old when grandma died comes over as well and cries.  Grandma died in January of 07. 


I approached my husband with this and he sees no problem with it.  That is just how it is.  Ever since I brought up my concerns he has shut me out.  I am not invited to family things.  If I make an effort to try they shut me down.  I can't go to my husband because he is the same way.  I guess I am not sure what or how to handle this.  My husband and his family are great people.  I am just getting tired of being called a liar and trouble maker. 


I told my son it is not healthy for this to happen he is 12.  I told him when something does happen to me, I know he will be sad for awhile but I would not want him to carry on like what is happening right now.  We all have a season to love, live, give, and make the world we know a  little better just by being here.  I know grandma would be sick  if she saw this.  I am concerned this will break apart our marriage as the family bond is VERY THICK.  Please let me know what the appropriate thing to do would be in this case.


Thanks


Family
Perhaps if families like yours wouldn't take stuff they really don't need, restaurants wouldn't have to charge $13 for a plate of spaghetti...they could keep their costs down and not have to pass it on to the consumer if they didn't have to supply people with packets of sweetner and breadsticks that they don't need!
Hugs to you and your family....

This saying is on the grave of one of Mark Twain's daughters, written by Robert Richardson.


Warm summer sun
shine kindly here,
Warm southern wind
blow softly here,
Green sod above Lie light, Lie light,
Good night, Dear heart,
Good night, Good night.



 


I would never sue my family. We are out the $$ and out my sister.

Maybe I could've forgiven her for putting her hands on me, but now she is 100% lying and saying that didn't happen.  This I don't think I can forgive.


I'm done with this and am going to move on.  Unfortunately, my family dimensions are different now and that is sad.


Family is very rewarding..

You made my day!!  Faith and love is still alive in this world of ours.  Thanks for sharing.