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could be the beginnings of a midlife crisis....mine

Posted By: began his at 35 years old....sm on 2007-02-25
In Reply to: Okay everyone, I have a question. - RR

Later on, I divorced him (after 12 years), for many reasons, but one was certainly that I wasn't going to put up with possibly 20-30 years of a midlife crisis of his, or any man, that's a given....and today, he's mid 50s and still a mess.....in his head/heart at least...


best of luck....keep an eye out....


 




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Midlife crisis
Do you think women have midlife crises just like men do?  I have always been a  very content person.  Content with my life, work, family, etc.  I was also someone who never liked change.  Now for the past five years or so, I am so discontent with everything (life, job, marriage)!  I just feel as if I could scream if nothing fun or exciting enters my life soon!  I am so bored and discontent.  I don't like it.  I  have tried to do things differently but nothing seems to help.  I just feel like running away and starting fresh somewhere.  However, then I think of my children, who are grown, and my one granddaughter, and that I would miss them very, very much.  Has anyone else gone through this, or are you going through this.  I am 49 years old.  Help!  Any suggestions!  I have even had suicidal thoughts at times, but of course I would never act on them.
It could certainly be a midlife crisis sm
but it could also be depression, especially when you think of suicide. I am not say antidepressants are a cure all, but it could certainly be a start. Hugs to you!
midlife crisis
I believe that women go through midlife crises as well. I am 37. I believe my midlife crisis is because I got married way too early (age 20) and didn't have time to really "explore" my options. I, too, am bored and discontent. I try to stay active in my church and with my family, but I still find myself discontent.
midlife crisis
Have you considered taking antidepressants?  I went through a severe depression after I had my first child that went beyond postpartum.  I didn't know if I would ever be the same.  I was against taking medication, but a friend convinced me to try it.  It helped me be more positive and less anxious and to get focused again.  I could have kicked myself for not taking it sooner.  I would have enjoyed my child so much more.  I am a Christian as well.  Many Christian groups and churches are against medication for depression and say you should just rely on God.  I believe God gave us a brain and He expects us to use it to be the best we can be for Him, ourselves and our loved ones.  You may not need to take it for the rest of your life, but if only to help stabilize you so you can focus on making the decisions you need to make and get on with your life.  God loves you and wants you to enjoy His blessings.  This is not a weakness.  You are not alone.  I have been where you are and I survived!  I still struggle at times, but I know there is help and hope for me, and there is for you, too.  Hang in there, and don't be afraid to lean on the people who love you most.  They need to know you're struggling if they're going to be able to help you.  You'll get through this.  I will keep you in my prayers! 
Midlife crisis
I'm 32 and I think i'm having a midlife crisis.  Any suggestions on how to overcome this?  All I want to do is sleep so I won't have to wake up to my normal life.
Why I stuck with MT after midlife crisis college degree
Lot of reasons, actually, not the least of which was that I was making some seriously good money as a medical biller at the time--and I hadn't burnt out yet. (I was also doing the transcription for 2 practices locally.) I also had an insane stubborn loyalty to my boss, and didn't want to leave him in the lurch. I got out of billing 2 years ago (well past burnout by then) and came home full time, still doing the transcription for the practice and one other, and still making good money at it.

But one reason I went back to school in the first place was because my boss had been making noises about quitting practice at some point, and he was so good (and I had him so very well-trained) I really couldn't see starting over again with another doctor who might not be so trainable. Not only that, the man is 11 years older than I, and it stood to reason he would retire before I would be ready to, so I would lose him eventually.

Last fall he closed his practice, actually going to work for another practice as an employee, not retiring quite yet, but despite his practically standing on his head on my behalf, the other practice didn't want to hire me. (Their loss.) That was when I had to find my first job with a national. Oh, joy. Welcome to the real world.

But I'll tell you what. There are some positive trade-offs. I don't have kids to stay home with... but I really, REALLY appreciate the mere 15-foot commute (I have a 4-1/2 year old car with still under 30k miles on it), the work wardrobe (pajamas), and best of all, the lack of B.S. and office politics. I get all the human contact I need between church and some other activities I participate in--places I choose to go and people I choose to see, rather than having people I don't get along with forced on me, as in the workplace. (Actually, I got along fine with them. They didn't get along with me. I just wanted them to not make my job harder. Was that too much to ask? Guess so. The last week I worked in the office, I had a sign on my wall that said "Others do not play well with me.")

The money in medical billing was nice, but it was costing me far too much. Meanwhile, I've used some of my info tech skills with a few freelance jobs for friends (website design, database design) but I have discovered that I really, really do NOT want to be responsible for maintaining somebody else's systems.... I also figured out really quickly after my business management classes (and being billing department head) that I am NOT cut out to be a manager. Trouble with management is that you have to . . . manage people. It's like herding cats. No, thank you.

So I haven't completely ruled out doing something else with my life, if I ever figure out what I want to be when I grow up... but for now, despite the massive pay cut I have taken, I am willing to hang in there as an MT because of the positive trade-offs I mentioned above. Plus... I've been doing this for 37 years, and I'm bloody good at it, if I do say so myself. :)

Does that answer the question? Anything else I can expound upon for the hopeful enlightenment of all?

Disclaimer: This has been MY chosen route, and for right now, it's right for ME. Others' mileage may vary. :)
I would call or make an appt with the peds, could be beginnings of cellulitis.

Is there a Crisis Hotline you can call? sm
I know many times that my docs have recommended Crisis intervention; the programs in this area are hospital-based.
That should be the worst crisis in government!
nm
Donate to crisis pregnancy centers.
X
You know, your foot pedal crisis made me think...

if that ever happens to you again where you really need a foot pedal, put out an SOS to your fellow MTs.  I have a collection of foot pedals that are not for my current platform but in perfect working order.  I'd be happy to send one out to an MT in need.


 


Don't know about your God, but mine
my God is more forgiving than that!

She is not doing anyone any harm, so to say she will burn in h*** for celebrating the fun part of Halloween, not evilness, is the whole reason I do not attend church!

I never did it with mine. For one, I would have been
too embarrassed. My mother used to do it, but we have come a long way since then. I find it kind of primitive. I think nothing is wrong with it in your own home, but in public, I really think you should think about it. There are all kinds of weirdos out there and you just don't know what is in their minds. I see nothing wrong with breastfeeding INSIDE YOUR HOME, but there are folks who would get offended by doing it in public. I would not be offended, but really...I think you could put some of that breast milk in a bottle before you go out.
Mine is up

and FAKE -- Me and my fam are all allergic!


Have red/white/blue/silver these.  Looks awesome.  Have lights up outside too!!!!


HAPPY HOLIDAYS!



Mine would be...
Laxatives
Laytex gloves
a metal detector

mine too
have to light a fire under his butt in an attempt to get him out of the house.
Mine did nothing at all, at least he went out and tried - sm
more than my DH did, though mine did ask me what I wanted, I told him, he told me to go buy it. This is typical for him. He used to get me beautiful jewelry for b-day, Christmas, annivarsary, that lasted for about 2 years or so, then it has been buy yourself what you want. I do not get bent (what is the point) though a little effort on his part would be nice. He did surprise me on our 10-year anniversary though this year, got me a beautiful opal necklace. As for the kids, my one daughter gave me 2 things, my other nothing, but she gives me wonderful drawings and such all the time, she just has a selfish streak I guess and does not think of others only herself. I just talked to her about this, maybe in the future she will remember our little talk and some good will come from it. My DH needs to learn somehow to have the kids get things for mom on special occasions, yours does too it seems. My neighbor has the same problem with her husband. Basically they are lazy people. He does none of the shopping, gift wrapping, packing to leave (except for his stuff of course), etc. He did buy 1 or 2 gifts, which I of course wrapped. This will probably never change until the kids are gone and he is an old man. I have seen it happen but not until grandchildren are on the scene and these men become model husbands for some reason, whether it is out of boredom or fear of the wife finally saying "I'm out of here, go fend for yourself", or they get struck my lightening, who knows, but beating yourself up about it is not the answer. If you are truly unhappy, get out, or kick him out. But if this is his "flaw" then either live with it, and buy yourself what you want each year or do something about it. It is your call how you deal with it.
mine went away
I had one on my nose for about a year and all of a sudden it just vanished and has never come back. It always bothered me because it was so ugly, but it never hurt and I didn't have to pay to zap it.
Two of mine have had and he will run
fever if he does not drink or eat the popsickles and get sicker. You probably know but you can cool him down with tepid water, try that. You will really have to keep up with you have to drink or eat cool, cold so he will not run that fever.
Yes, mine are
never and I mean never tempt fate. i could never say I was sick or someone else sick say if I wanted to be off from work, no, no, might come true. I have to knock on wood when I say something that is an iffy thing, don’t want to jink.
LOL, I had mine do just that
I gave him a testing tape. It took him hours to get through a page, typing with two fingers, with everything lumped together in one big paragraph, headings and all. Not to mention all the mistakes. lol He now says he has no idea how I do this. I told him I don't know either. : )
LOL! Mine does that too!
And I love how they can never puke/cough up hairballs on the tile, they always have to find a carpeted area (which stains). They can be in the middle of the tile kitchen and find the only rug!
Mine do that too! LOL!
I have tiles in my kitchen, bathroom, and laundry room, yet they decide to leave me presents in the living room or bedrooms where it is carpeted! I own a steam cleaner just for that purpose! LOL!
ok, here's mine...
Awesome: Ellen Degeneres (sp?)

Lame: Oprah
Mine is like that too. (sm)
I don't know why they so strongly believe that aggressive driving is good driving. DH always wants to drive or else he goes nuts, but when I occasionally end up being the driver, he needs to keep quiet so I can concentrate. Just because his BP is through the roof shouldn't mean mine has to be. Lately even when I'm the passenger I don't put up with it. As he starts up, complaining about traffic the moment we've pulled out of the driveway, I calmly remind him he'll live through it. He is starting to realize what a pain he is in the car.
Mine did this ONCE -
We were first married and actually WERE, uh, busy...You never saw someone hit the door running so fast. It never happened again. However, if I were you I would definitely lock my door and put up a sign asking everyone to please knock. It is YOUR house.
Here's how I got out of mine...
I called the cell phone company, said I was trying to cancel but got disconnected and had to call back.  When the rep said I had to pay termination on both phones I said the previous rep said I only had to be for 1 phone disconnect fee.  After going back and forth a little bit, the rep caved and only charged me for 1 disconnect fee.  Worth a try.  Good luck.
Mine
used to go on "business trips" and would never check in as well and came up with a world of reasons why. He was seeing other women. That also played a role in lowering my self-esteem, but now I look back and actually feel sorry for him. He's alone and will never have the respect or relationship I have with our children. It's just pitiful, but he made his bed.

I hope you have family you can talk to and get support from. If you need to email me, please feel free. I just know how you feel and I hurt for you right now, but I promise you, it'll all be okay.
Here are mine...sm
Knitting, crochet, cross stitch are my favorites, but the projects keep piling up in a corner because there is no time, and too tired to get through even 5 pages of a book at bedtime.  Wish I had an adventure-filled life to blame it on. 
I got mine a GPS....sm
he gets lost VERY easily so I figured he'd love it.
mine are like that too.
The last time one of them was home he straightened out one my cupboards and they like to cook with me and play board or card games.
That is exactly how I fix mine, YUM! (nm)
x
First mine said he was gay

He deliberately married me for a "front" (he was in the military) and didn't bother to tell me he was gay until we'd been married 6 months.  After years of confusion, he ended up having a sex change after marrying a second woman and having a child with her.


If you're lucky, he's just curious.  But you really need to get the truth out of him, and be prepared for the worst.  If he's really confused about his sexuality it may take him years to figure out who he "is" and what he really wants, so it may be difficult for him to tell you the truth because he might be in denial about it himself.


Mine was only 10 or 11, but she had - sm
aggressive, metastatic breast cancer that spread to her lungs. Vet said I would "know" when to have her PTS.

I knew when she didn't want to do anything but sit on the couch and stare off into space. No longer wanted food or attention, just occasional water, and kind of a blank stare. Was also out of breath all the time. So I had a long talk with her about it, and she just seemed to be saying, "Do it - I'm ready."
Well here's mine (sm)
I can lean on the slacker side sometimes too so here is what I do: get my tea- start half an hour early - read any interesting news on Yahoo, check and respond to emails, look at MTstars ;-) - just get that out of the way. Through the day I tell myself I can't switch over and check email or anything until I have done a certain number of minutes, etc., which earns me an email break. I also have motivational music on my computer - like The Blur's Woohoo! song that I play in between when I am doing things that don't require listening, like sending my work and things like that.
here's mine
Life is good, I am SO blessed!
Mine is on my arm
I want a new one on my back but i'm afraid to get it done here; my one and only was done in Austin, Texas. Mine's pretty big, it takes up almost my entire upper arm.
yes, I got mine on 05/02
I was under the assumption that married people get 1200. Not true. We only got 600. The VA took 167.00 of it, so that left us with 433. Not exactly what I was expecting, but will come in handy.
I'd rather be where you are but here's mine:
http://www.arkansas.com/
Mine does this too
And I am in my 20s. I have them sometimes many times a day for a week straight or so. I am going to my cardiologist again soon but I assume it is nothing to worry about because they dont seem worried. I have a feeling they will do a Holter or something, but it is so hard to catch them because it seems it essentially just does it when it feels like it.
Mine is not like that but just as bad
After 25 years of being together he still has most of his stuff. He doesn't touch my stuff and I don't touch his. It is so hard to get him out of the mindset of keeping everything. He says there is a lot he wants to get rid of but the actuality of doing it? He can't bring himself to part with it even though he says he needs to lighten up.
Mine is....
"hisself" instead of himself. Drives me crazy.
Here goes mine..
ax instead of ask,

beedroom instead of bedroom (I think that's an Australian thing) or for that matter, betroom instead of bedroom

Daytawn instead of Dayton (& from residents too!)

The use of the f-word & the s-word in every other sentence... (if not every sentence)

The over-use of the word "basically" As in starting every other sentence, "Well, basically it's...."
Mine are:

warsh for wash (a common Hoosier-ism, I guess, but I still hate it)


liberry for library


chimbly for chimney


and my mother-in-law pronounces crayons "crins"


Mine is 10 now
and of course he doesn't remember this anymore but my hubs asked him the other day if he wanted a hangaburger. He just thought his dad was weird. LOL Kids are so much fun.
Here's mine....see pic
I usually have a calico kitten sleeping on my notebook, but I'm not working this afternoon, so not sure where she is.
mine are not that age yet
thought about what i would do should that happen... i did it when i was young and i made some very poor choices during the time i smoked. though that's not happened yet, should it happen, i believe i would try to be with my kids as much as i possibly could. i would take them to school, i would pick them up, if they have a school function, guess what? mom's going too.

you know, when i was younger and did that, my parents DID have a clue... they may have wanted to act all naive but they KNEW.. and as ticked off at them as i would have been had they ever confronted me about it, i look back and truly wish they had and maybe shown some tough love. i think your son's father may be going overboard with wanting to kick him out.

the most important thing is, regardless of how you decide to deal with this, is to let him know how much you love him. bottom line is, if you didn't love him, you wouldn't care what he does.

Some of mine are.............sm
The Christmas Shows with Rob Lowe.

Santa and Pete with Hume Cronyn.

The Angel Doll with Keith Carradine.

The Santa Clause with Tim Allen

And my all-time favorite is It's a Wonderful Life with Jimmy Stewart.




Here is mine...sm
It is Souper easy (I know, groan!).  Chicken, beef or veggie stock (not broth), frozen veggies depending on mood, quite a bit of garlic and onion, frozen tortellini, and maybe some bits of meat (usually not), and herbs depending on the other ingredients being used.  Amount depends on how many people are being fed.  This is good for using up leftover veggies, chicken and beef, too. 
Here's Mine.
Cornbread dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy made from the turkey drippings, green beans, and heat-n-serve rolls.
Here is mine....
..