d) none of the above sm

Posted By: flybye on 2009-05-19
In Reply to: What would you do if your grown child told you - Mother talking here

i would be accepting of her comments without taking them personally, love unconditionally, set healthy boundaries*, listen actively, seek first to understand, and let go of ALL expectations. search your heart; what is your goal? a better relationship with her or protecting yourself from her hurtful words...? *to set healthy boundaries with my kids i use the "i feel ___(emotion) when you ___(action) i want ___(desired outcome); if ___(options) then ___(consequence)" method, e.g. "I feel hurt when you say you have to walk on eggshells around me. I want us to have a good relationship; it's important to me. If you'd like to talk about it, then I'll listen." --or-- "I love you, but I feel sad when you say you have to walk on eggshells around me. I want you to stop saying that. If you can't, then I'm going to need to limit my contact with you." I would choose to seek mutual understanding and a win/win.

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What would you do if your grown child told you - Mother talking here
- I am that way with my mother, I am - dm
  - I am not judging, if I were then I - Mother talking here
- PLEASE READ - Another Opinion
- I would find out exactly what she meant. sm - NC MT
  - You gotta understand, I have been seriously - Mother talking here
    - I think you both need to grow up! sm - NC MT
      - Spoiled, yes, I see nothing wrong with that - Mother talking here
        but that is not you daughters fault sm - NC MT
        I am not understanding of what you are saying - Mother talking here
        you keep saying how you underwent sm - NC-MT
        You took what I said out of context - Mother talking here
    - If you love your daughter and she loves - .-
      - Not really an estrangement, yet - Mother talking here
        Reading your comment I am answering, - .-
- d) none of the above sm - flybye
- I was the daughter, mom was the eggshells - Been there, done that
  - Ok, I have read your answer - Mother talking here
    - Response - Been There, Done That
      - You know what, I really, really - Mother talking here
    - I also had an "walking on eggshells" mother - An Iowan
      - Make that A instead of AN in the title (nm) - An Iowan
        Why? 'An' is right and 'A' is wrong....nm - .-
        The apology was referencing the title, not the author (nm) - Grammarian
        Yes, sure you are correct, I didn't catch the 'An walking'..nm - .-
        Mine was a typo of sorts - An Iowan
        Thank you! That's what I meant. nm - An Iowan

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