under normal circumstances, absolutely sm
Posted By: MT TOO LONG on 2009-05-22
In Reply to: would you turn this other mom/son in? - Spinoff
not! The government has no business telling folks how to raise their kids, etc. etc. Government has too much control as it is.
ON THE OTHER HAND-I read where this 13-year-old boy cannot read! This all came out when they were saying he agreed with his mother and all this kind of stuff. If the boy can't read, what is this mother doing with this kid? Has he not been in school, etc. etc? I am wondering what else is really going on in that household.
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Absolutely ~ it is normal.....nm
x
yo trose? What is *normal*? Normal means
*normal*? that only means one has a preconceived idea of what sanity is....
which I don't - so I have no answer......*lol*
No it is not, under any circumstances
x
Considering my circumstances I am looking - sm
forward to the holidays. I'm the one with the mega debt who confessed to her DH a month ago, etc. We will have his debts paid off in full in about 10 days. I still have quite a mess though. We sold back 2 weeks of his vacation time (lucky for us his work allows you to do this) and half of that is paying for Christmas, the rest is being banked in our savings account which needs restoking (used to have $5K in it but only $200 now). We are taking a night and going to the beach to see the lights (free hotel stay due to his travel points) and a nice dinner-- all of this is his idea too--, and he suggested I go up (with the kids of course) and spend New Years with my friends/family up in PA so I am surprised about that. He is going to try to come too for a day or two to have a late Christmas with my family as well. Things are all roses, but considering everything I am looking forward to seeing my dad and one of my brothers, the other is in England and his family is going there to spend Christmas with him in Ireland with his wife's family there. But DH is trying really hard, he even bought me a dozen roses on my birthday a couple days ago and a really nice card, I couldn't have been more surprised....normally I get nada, not even a card. Granted my daughter told him to get me flowers, but still, he went over the top. But I digress as usual....everyone just needs to stay within what they can afford, we are cutting back some of course, but I have a bit more wiggle room now that I have that vacation money coming. Do it every year and it is a lifesaver.
I don't know the circumstances around
you wanting to leave your husband, but there is NO painless way. Children are ALWAYS the ones hurt most by a divorce. My parents were divorced, and I was divorced...no one wins. That's the only advice I can give you. The grass is not always greener on the other side.
Extenuating circumstances?
If the child is in custody of a parent, that parent puts that child first and provides.
However, the parent that does not have custody has options and only pays a MINIMUM of support. Then, if things get tight, etc., the CS is what gets left off.
I'm telling you that before you put food in your own mouth, pay your own bills, put a roof over your head, put clothes on your own back, or even pay taxes - you should be paying that child support.
It matters not if the NCP is a male or female. It doesn't matter if they are employed or not. GET A JOB - there are thousands. PAY THAT SUPPORT.
same situation different circumstances
we aren't legally married but my SO and I have been together for 8+ years. We were young, smoked weed, went out all hours of the night, drank and I loved being with somebody that is a lead singer in a band.
Fast forward to today. We have kids. He still does all of the above and I don't. I think he's silly and childish for still doing all that and not growing up enough to stop it. He still works for his mother in another town in her convienence store making $6 an hour and there is no way we will ever be able to get a house. he refuses to get a real job or carreer because he thinks he has going to make it big one day. Plus when he does come home all he does is yell and complain. Part of me loves him, but honestly I love his mom more than him and him helping with the bills. Plus he does do all the "man" stuff like moving furniture and fixing things.
I said all that to say I know how it feels to be torn. Sometimes I just wish he would get amnesia so I could just train him all over again LOL
Used to work in a bank, under some circumstances...
they will waive the fees, as another poster said, call them and explain the situation. I would do this occasionally after looking over the person' s account and taking a few things into consideration. Overdraft protection, as stated before, is a great idea too. I keep a $400 to $500 cushion in my account; as far as I am concerned, when I only have that much in there I consider it $0. BTW, how can you not know when DH gets paid? Is he on commission or something? Good luck, call the bank, they should be able to help you.
I say, 'Let it grow!' And under no circumstances -
should you (or anyone else) grow old 'gracefully'. Fight it every inch of the way. If the 'cats' are making remarks about your hair, it's probably because they're jealous.
I'm 58, and like yours, mine is still mostly light brown, and I occasionally highlight it, too, but only when I feel like it. I had it cut shoulder-length a few years ago and hated it -- they ironed it straight and turned in under, and made me look like every soccer mom in my neighborhood, which I am totally NOT. Some people make good short-hair people, and some people don't. And I'm one of 'em.
I have a friend a little younger than me, and her hair is waist-length, VERY thick and beautiful, and salt-and-pepper, with a lot more salt than pepper. I've gone back to growing mine out, and now have a long ponytail. It should hit waist-length in the next year or so, and that's right where I want it. I'll probably still have a long ponytail when I'm 80, too. And if I don't like the gray hairs, then maybe I'll dye them purple.
So let the catty neighbors all walk around looking like dowdy old clones, and in the meantime you'll be happy being your normal, beautiful-haired self.
what's *normal*?? Normal only means one has a
I am neutral on this but will say those circumstances where you were intimate were not terribly sexy
I don't see medical care in any way similar to sexy people dancing against each other in sexy ways ;-)
maybe it's normal and I'm the odd one?
DS#1, age 17, likes a girl who is a junior, so she's probably 16 or 17. I'll call her J. DS has sort of liked her for a while, but she had a boyfriend. That boyfriend dumped her recently because he wanted to date someone else.
J was distraught over it for a couple of weeks and ended up going out with DS so now they're a "couple" and DS is very happy.
She's a bright girl, attractive, on the honor roll, very active in sports, tutors kids in the evening, is in the high school band, etc.
Anyway, J told my son that she needs to have a guy in her life and doesn't really feel complete without one.
Isn't it odd to feel that way, especially at that young of an age? Or maybe it's normal and I'm the odd one?
no it is not normal but is
very sad that she would think that. he needs to watch out or he will be paying child support the rest of his life!
Normal???
Definitely Normal
This is definitely normal behavior. I have a 13 year old and when she saw the Backstreet Boys back when she was older, she had a similar reaction. I remember feeling the same when I saw my "idols" years ago.
This is normal!
I was this way when I started too. I had my first period in December, just after my 12th birthday, and didn't have another one until March. Very common during the first year. And yes, her physical activity can be part of the reason...often athletes and the like have irregular menses.
TO: What is...normal
What is your problem? This woman is scared for her life and the lives of her children and you have the unmitigated gall to try to insinuate that she be subservient to this walking horror she is married to and make nice with him? Apparently your nerve is overwhelmed by any common sense you may have been born with. I wonder if you would feel the same if it were your sister, aunt or god forbid - your mother..ignorant..
To me, this is a normal job. I am up at 4 a.m. and
start work, take a break about 7 to shower and at least put on my work out clothes, including bra, some make up, etc, then backto work. Nothing worse to me than working in jammies...can't take the ob seriously, JMHO. I also like to look presentable should anyone visit (live very rurally, so doesn't usually happen) and especially when DH comes home from work. Who wants to see a wife still in jammies looking a wreck?
No. It is not normal.
My husband is my high school sweetheart. We have been together since we were 16 (39 now) and married for 17 years. We have had some heated arguments but never once has he laid a hand on me nor would he. Never once has either of us called names or disrespected one another. It is just not acceptable to treat someone you love with any less respect than you expect for yourself. It sounds like you do love him but he violated your trust and security in him. If he hasn't been abusive since that one incident, you could consider marriage counseling to help work through trust and forgiveness. If he is emotionally abusive, then it could just be a matter of time before it gets physical again. Your safety is the most important thing. Good luck.
Yes, it's normal. You do need help from DH, mom, in-law. You SM
need time to yourself. Even an hour a day. Believe me, it isn't easy and you should not feel you are the only one who feels the way you do.
Books, commercials, et. al, show endless scenes of serene mothers and babies. Most times are NOT serene, but, trust me, they get better. The more sure of yourself you become, the better things get and the second child will be easier. Wait a minute, I didn't have a second child, but my only child did!
Yes, it's normal. You do need help from DH, mom, in-law. You SM
need time to yourself. Even an hour a day. Believe me, it isn't easy and you should not feel you are the only one who feels the way you do.
Books, commercials, et. al, show endless scenes of serene mothers and babies. Most times are NOT serene, but, trust me, they get better. The more sure of yourself you become, the better things get and the second child will be easier. Wait a minute, I didn't have a second child, but my only child did!
very normal
My hubby is an OB/GYN and that is very common. Just a much better view. Annoying and uncomfortable, yes, but just a better view.
Normal anxiety???
I have a lot going on in my life right now - mother-in-law diagnosed with advanced metastatic ovarian cancer a week and a half ago, requested husband and I go to a marriage counsellor (which I started even though I don't want to), and starting a new full-time job at a hospital (not at home) on Monday. I have not worked FT outside of my home since my children were born and am worried about having them in early and after care, holidays, etc.
Anyway, I have been waking up and night with my heart pounding, cannot get back to sleep for hours, and having a "panicky" feeling in my chest off and on throughout the day. I feel like crying. Do you think this is situational anxiety or do I need medication? I can't stand this feeling!! Thanks for any advice!
Very normal feelings.......sm
I went through the same feelings with both my children, my daughter being the oldest. She had to take a drivers course at our local high school during the summer, then she got her permit. She drove with that for a few months before getting her license. But that first time she went with a girlfriend just down the street to a local burger joint made me crazy. I knew she would go slow and be very cautious, but that feeilng was still there, bordering on panic. She's 23 now. My son came next....he had to take the same course. He's was a little more pushy about the license, but didn't make a big deal out of it. But, unfortunately, within the month after getting them his dad said he could go to his girlfriend's.. it was rainy and I was not happy. She lives on a dead end street which is good, cause a dog ran out in front of him, he dodged it, and ran over the neighbor's utility box and tore up their beautiful grass. He was scared to death. Well, that got fixed and I guarantee he went slower after that. He's 20 now and as I notice a lot of guys do, he drives faster than his sister, but not as fast as his girlfriend, thank goodness!! He drives her car cause he tells her she goes too fast, won't use blinkers, no signals, makes me nuts. But they are grown and made it through those early testing times, and so will yours. By the time my son got his license, my state had graduated license, so he could only drive between certain daytime hours, and not past 7 at night for a few months. Check your state laws...a lot of them have these now.
Very normal. Let her get her license, but
give her rules. No passengers other than you or her dad. No phone use while car is in gear. Drive during daylight only for first 3 months. Make sure she knows ahead of time how she is getting somewhere. Stress following rules of the road, using blinkers, once you are in a lane to turn, go through with it and correct her course later when safe. Calmly explain that driving is a privilege. If she doesn't seem safe enough, make her take a defensive driving course also. It can't hurt.
It seems normal to me. I had a friend
who went to a therapist for years, and I truly got the impression he had her continue to come because she was so entertaining with her stories.
What is more important than style is whether she is helping you. Is your concern that you don't feel you are making progress? Is she having you try new things or otherwise work on your issues? Or is she just having you talk and nothing else?
The only therapy I've had was biofeedback training, which was very helpful for me because it taught me a skill, plus I could talk to the tech like a therapist. She definitely made me feel better about things.
It's not your normal kind of tea..sm
and one cup, I don't think, will make one P three to four times during the night, but whatever works for you.
TOTALLY normal! (sm)
My kids are younger than yours, but I am the youngest of three. I have an older sister and older brother. My brother is the oldest and he is three years older than me. I can remember growing up and being picked on by my brother (and sister) and there were times when I felt like I truly hated him. I'm sure he felt the same about me at times. Now I love him dearly and I think he is one of the greatest men in my life. I'm sure it sounded horrible to you, but don't worry. It's perfectly normal.
I actually have, and it was completely normal - SM
I'm in my mid-20s and have always been very healthy and active. I could never even catch the chickenpox from my friends as a child! LOL! Oh well, I'll have to see if stopping this antihistamine makes a difference. I feel completely fine otherwise.
should say "are" normal....
xx
sounds like a normal
reaction/depression to situation. I'm sorry for your loss. I dread going through what you are, and i know my time is near, with elderly parents and elderly husband. I guess a lawyer that specializes in estates could help with those aspects. Might also inquire of a friend, neighbor or church member that has been through similar. To get out of a funk, i'd recommend trying to do something for someone else -- volunteer, donate, help someone who has needs (babysitting, taking elderly to store, etc) That has a way of revitalizing a person. Hope your new year gets better soon.
Perverting the normal
You can rant all day about how happy you are to live alone without a plant, or a pet, or anyone else, but you are the exception, not the rule...and quit dissing the bible.
you asked what was normal
Your parents showed you how to have a peaceful divorce, so I am absolutely sure that you know how to have a peaceful divorce.
normal for this profession sm
Typing in dark, just got up,but we have to have quiet and solitude to pay attention to what we're doing. I rented an office because my husband talks so much, never near my work but used to sit on the stairs and talk to me and kept interrupting. Even with an office I would get upset if someone walked in while I was working. It's part of the problem and I do like people but find them very irritating when I try to concentrate. Now I feel I am a "victim" of having no one to really "talk" to when I need to "talk" because I was so short with everyone. It's hard, I'm lonely too, that's why I come in here. SAD, people don't understand. It's a lonely profession. But then again, I hate "small talk" after all the true in-depth stories I heard from my work, all the rest seems boring and not important. So you have "company" after all!
Not normal but happened in my family
My neice, then a high school senior, was told by her long-time boyfriend of about 3 years that he wanted to break up with her. She went nuts and even tried to commit suicide by swallowing a bunch of Tylenol. She was convinced they were going to be married in a year or two, have kids, and she would be a stay-at-home mom...had it all planned out. Apparently she shared those thoughts with him and that's what sent him packing.
It took her a LONG time to realize he wasn't coming back and I think she still has dependency issues (dependent on people I mean).
I don't agree with how she was raised though. She was put on birth control strictly for contraception at age 16 because her parents knew they were having sex and basically gave her the okay to do so, even in their house. She was treated like an adult, even though she was not, and not ready to act like one, and that really messed the poor kid up, probaby permanently.
Therapy is indeed a good place to start for your son's girlfriend.
Don't know, never lasted for me....am told that it's normal.
Unfortunately the sparks begin to fizzle and eventually burn out when it comes to that department for most couples and you have to really work at trying to spice things back up.
I have to say mine is pretty normal....
He will look at a gorgeous thin woman and it doesn't bother me in the least. I think I would be more concerned if he didn't. :)
definitely normal kid culture reaction
Remembering standing outside waiting at the Brooklyn Fox for the following groups at one time or another way back when:
Little Anthony and the Imperials
Martha and the Vandellas
The Shirelles
Otis Redding
Little Stevie Wonder (he was 13)
Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
The Ruffin Brothers (David and.....cannot remember the other one's name at the moment)
The Thymes (later on)
before the British Invasion music which them some of us started appreciating......and going ape waiting for the Beatles at 54th Street at the Warwick Hotel, 500-1000 young girls on the 4 corners of that intersection mobbing taxicabs....*LOL* - those were the days....
Not normal if something deadly that could happen-
you know he has sleep apnea and can be deadly and you call that normal? I probably would take him myself to the doctor but then I really am in love with my husband.
But you know how long a normal period
should last, so therefore you take matters into your own hands and be more assertive before you drop over.
Normal or not? Son saying he hates h is sister (sm)
He is 10, she is 3 years younger. She is usually nice to him and loves him. I could understand if he blurted out "I hate you" when they were arguing, but tonight I told him that she won't be home tomorrow afternoon and he and I could go see a movie or something together and he said "she won't be here - good - I hate her." And he said it so mean. I told him he is not allowed to talk about her like that, that she wouldn't talk that way about him and if she did, she would be in trouble. He said, "I don't know why, she's just so annoying and I hate her." I asked him what he thought "hate" meant and he said that it was wishing someone would just "poof, disappear." She tends to be more outgonig than him. She learned to waterski this weekend, while he refused to even try. So I don't know if he is just jealous or what, but it scares me that something so mean can come out of my own child's mouth.
Yep. Normal. Just take a deep breath and
They'll probably make peace in a few short years (when you're old and grey-headed and senile, lol)!
:)
Doesn't sound normal to me
If my kid said that, I'd tell him to forget the movie.
Why do so many parents tolerate hate and abuse among their own children? If the kid next door said that about your daughter, would you let it pass? And the fact that you asked him what it meant - as if a 10 yo wouldn't understand hate - and he told you he wants her to disappear, spells troubled kid to me. I'd take him to a therapist.
That is so normal, completely child like
saw post below where said would take to a therapist. That, my dear, is what is really wrong with most of these kids now. A therapist?? Not just mother speaking but grandmother as well and I have heard lots of kids say that to their siblings- mine for example and they love each other now since they're grown.
Sounds to crazy to be normal. sm
Thanks for the advice. I am trying to convince my macho husband to sit while peeing. Ha.
Yes it is normal, your hormones are readjusting -sm
from being pregnant, your body is in overdrive to make milk, etc. I never really had any of those issues luckily as I could not breast-feed (body would just not make milk with either of my pregnancies) so I had to make formula every day, sterilize bottles, nipples, etc. Fun process to have to do every darn day. You may have returned to work too soon, give yourself a chance to be with the baby, the first six weeks is an adjustment on everyone's part. With my first child though my DH would take one night a week of feedings so I could have a night off, you need to make a similar arrangement, lack of sleep will definitely make you loopy. Many times he would come home from work and I would lay down on the couch with my daughter (when she was just a month or two old or so) and zonk out with her while he made dinner (he'd cook, I'd clean up). ---go talk to your doctor about your mood swings and find out if they are extreme enough for meds, while breast feeding you may not be able to take anything possibly or if they have any suggestions that may make your life easier that maybe you have not thought of. Find a healthy way to relieve some stress, whether it is going outside and screaming your lungs out (my favorite) or cleaning, do what makes you feel better and burns off some stress.
My experience as a substitute teacher is that this is very normal
behavior for children at her age. Please remember that we just got through a worldwind of holidays and their schedules have been off as far as structure. Almost every child right now is going through this disruptive behavior, because believe it or not, children truly want structure in their lives and thrive upon it. No, it does not make it acceptable and I am the biggest stinker about my children acting appropriately in school. Like I tell my children, I cannot make you gets As in all your subjects, but I can make you responsible for your behavior.
Anyhow, I think the apology to the teacher itself would have been an appropriate punishment at her young age, as children truly want nothing more than acceptance.
BTW, her age level is tough right now. After the winter holidays they ALL seem to get tattling and boisterous and whenever I have to teach kindergartners in the Sprin I pray VERY hard. It is all part of them establishing their identities. You are a very good mother for being so concerned and proactive, but just try to take this stepping stone with a little bit of patience and glory....she is growing up!! Hugs to you!!!
I agree, I believe idolizing anyone to that extent is not normal
and not healthy either! No wonder some of these young kids, especially girls, are suffering with bulimia and anorexia and poor self image. If they feel that extreme about someone famous and begin to cry hysterically in their mere presence, it's no wonder. That's actually pretty sad in my opinion.
And squirting milk on a cousin of his is not normal either
just amaze yourself and read some of this nut's posts. Un-b-liv-able.....
Get an excuse, for a normal period that most all girls have?
You seem to be jumping to higher ups before anyone talks with the teacher. I would ask for a conference with that particular teacher to see what is said about the incident. Can you just image giving every female off for having a period? Does that seem like you should have an excuse for something that is so normal? I say introduce the daughter to tampons, welcome to the adult world!
Does anyone have thyroid issues with normal free T4? (sm)
I have heard there can be T3-T4 converting issues that make your T4 appear normal but you can still have a thyroid condition. Just wondering if anyone on here has had that issue? Thanks for any info.
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