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Grandparents

Posted By: Mq'r on 2005-08-18
In Reply to: Not OP - I wish more grandparents and uncles/aunts would worry about doing things wrong - sm - xxx

You didn't give specifics on what they do with your kids, but as a grandparent, I find that the kids (without spoiling them) understand that there are different rules at different places.  It's a relief for them to be allowed to stay up a little later, get a little more one-on-one time, be wrestled with, etc. etc.  They know how to behave and understand that their parents are the true disciplinarians.  Don't cheat yourself out of some alone time if they want to keep them overnight because you're afraid they might not eat a green bean for a day or get too much attention.  I do respect their parents' wishes on diet, health, and rest, but I don't think they can get too much love from others. 


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Grandparents
Thanks for sharing and clarifying.  I understand completely.  Kids go through enough ridicule and put downs from others in society.  The one constant positive in their lives should be a grandparent.  I sympathize with your daughter who is tall.  Our granddaughter is off the chart on height.  She's 8.  There is no one who meets her who does not say, "You are so tall."  This is said in a way that sounds like it's ugly or something, and she is getting really self conscious.  Life is hard.  Kids need support and unconditional love.  Sounds like you're doing a fine job. 
The grandparents thing.....sm
Those kids are your responsibility, as you obviously very well know, whether you're physically with them or not.

You're right. Hubby and grandma are WRONG. Do not let anyone bully you or guilt you into thinking otherwise. 'Nuff said.
I'm sure your grandparents would be ashamed of you
maybe that's why you hate successful whites so much - you're jealous
not all kids go through the no grandparents stage (sm)
my son is 18 YO and guess where he takes his g/f on Friday and Saturday nights? To his grandparents house! He and his friends love to hang out at their house...dont' know exactly why, but I'm glad! At least I know they aren't out getting into trouble.  If you start out building a strong relationship with your grandkids, they will always want to be with you...and don't act too much like a grandma to them, more like a good, um not friend, but just a good person! I think that's why my kids love the most about their grandparents.  Kids are a blessing...at any age!
cigs took out my parents, grandparents, aunt

Unfortunately, I still smoke though - it's the worst drug habit I have encountered in my many decades.  For me, it's the only drug habit I have had.  It's tough, so I sympathize with the ones who are trying to quit and KUDOS TO THE ONES WHO HAVE!!!!!


 


Not OP - I wish more grandparents and uncles/aunts would worry about doing things wrong - sm
My in-laws like to play mind games with our kids...which is the cause of a lot of "parental headaches", thus we curtail visits to about once a month, supervised for about 6-8 hours (they live 2 hours away). We plan to never let them have the kids overnight, etc. though DHs mom constants asks....so through guilt my DH is now considering it (which I won't allow so I will be forced to go and stay too which I don't want to do but will) but he wants his brother to stay too as a condition (he's winds the kids up like crazy). So we have 3 winners who love to spoil the kids but don't care about the consequences of their actions after they leave. It has gotten better now the kids are not so nuts anymore after a visit, though grandma and uncle are always saying they want the kids to visit, stay , etc. If they had common sense then I probably wouldn't mind the break (no near relatives) but that is not the case. I just hope I learn enough from them and remember and don't make the same mistakes when I have grandchildren. Yes, my kids love them, and their other grandparents (now just my dad) but you just can't have the attitude we can do what we want because we are the grandparents. Parents have there way of doing things and unless it is harmful to the child should be respected and followed.
I think that grandparents who babysit for free are just making their kids dependent on them
Maybe stop babying her and she'll respect you more.

I doubt this generation of kids will grow up to watch their grandchildren - they're way too selfish.

Just a suggestion.