Home     Contact Us    
Main Board Job Seeker's Board Job Wanted Board Resume Bank Company Board Word Help Medquist New MTs Classifieds Offshore Concerns VR/Speech Recognition Tech Help Coding/Medical Billing
Gab Board Politics Comedy Stop Health Issues
ADVERTISEMENT




Serving Over 20,000 US Medical Transcriptionists

OMG! I can totally relate to this.

Posted By: me, too! on 2005-08-15
In Reply to: inappropriate stepfather - uncomfortable and need advice

My stepgrandfather has suddenly started pulling this crap with me.  He's an older man in his early 80s.  He's been in my life for almost 20 years.  Suddenly, he wants to hug me tightly, give me slobbery wet kisses on my mouth, and all sorts of stuff.  He nuzzled me in my ear during a bearhug and asked me if his cologne turned me on.  He's slapped me on the backside, too.  I wonder if it's not some form of dementia or confusion from alcohol or something.  It just makes me so uncomfortable to have ANY man do that to me, with the exception of my husband.  I've been avoiding him for over a year now.  I won't be alone in the same room with him.  I told my Mom and my husband about it.  Everyone just blows it off as a "harmless old man" or "he was just drunk and teasing you".  I know about boundaries and standing up for myself, but it's just really tough when other people think it's "nothing" or that I'm "overreacting".


Complete Discussion Below: marks the location of current message within thread

The messages you are viewing are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select the boards given in left menu


Other related messages found in our database

I can totally relate sm
My son is the same way in school, very bright without even trying. In the National Honor Society, ranked 1 in his class and has always been the "smartest" kid in class, is very athletic, but sometimes just seems so unhappy. Peer pressure is terrible, especially if you don't "fit in" with the dummies. My son even plays football and lacrosse, and guess what, he gets the award every year for Athletic and Academic Achievement with a GPA of 3.8. Still, there is something making him unhappy.

Homeschool just might work for you. This is a tough age for all kids.
I totally relate!! I did something about it.
Kids are grown so it was lots easier.  We sold the big house with the big payment, big insurance, big maintenance, etc.  We sold the new cars and trucks.  We now live in a little 2 BR/2 bath "double-wide" in the woods/country that we paid off (easy to do if it doesn't cost much more than a new car!).  We have a little houseboat that we bought at a yard sale(!) for $1000.  We have it anchored in our back yard (we live on a small canal).  That is a combination hubby's den and guest room.  We have no water or sewage bill.  We have a deep artesian well with terrific cold water.  I have a new washer (wash with cold water only), but I hang my clothes outdoors instead of the expense of a dryer.  No dishwasher.  No garbage disposal.  My husband drives a 10-year-old PU that is great on gas.  I drive a 23-year-old Mercedes with a new engine that keeps going and going.  Low insurance.  No car payments.  I buy most of our clothes and household goods at yard sales, thrift stores and auctions.  We are NOT deprived!  We dress great and our home decor is adorable.  We grow veggies and buy at discount grocery stores (scratch & dent) and use coupons a lot.  IT CAN BE DONE!  It requires some sacrifice, coping with eyebrow-lifting relatives and not "buying in" to the bill of goods we are sold every day.  We still have satellite TV, Tivo, etc., but our total monthly bills are well under $1000.  It would be lots harder to do with kids at home, I'm sure.  Maybe you could sit down with your husband and at least come up with some ways to take the pressure off of you!  Life is too short!!!  I really do wish you the best of luck and hope you'll consider trying to make some lifestyle changes.  It worked for me! 
I can totally relate...sm
I don't know of any website for encouragement, but if it helps, I am experiencing the same thing. I'm assuming that you're working from home. For me, I think the isolation of being at home, the fact that there are really no constraints on our physical appearances (for example, no dress code, no coworkers to notice if you brushed your hair or your teeth, etc.), and the fact that once you've done transcription for a while, it is really not that mentally challenging most of the time (not saying that it's not a difficult job, just that most MTs I know tend to be very bright and can learn and adapt to the challenges of the position quickly) can lead to feelings of ennui. I know that a great number of my Transcriptionist friends and co-workers (I used to work out in the world at one point) were on antidepressant meds, etc. I think the sedentary lifestyle, combined with a full days worth of time to use one part of your brain to work while the other part fixates on personal and family problems and other stressors makes a lot of us feel unhappy and burned out, with little motivation to tackle anything in our lives.

Last week, I decided to take charge of my life again instead of just drifting along--however, it's definitely just baby steps. I started a workout program (sitting in a chair for 8 hours a day has definitely led to some flab), made a friend date to go shopping over the weekend, committed to cleaning one area of my house a day (and so far have stuck with it), etc. So far, it's helping and I feel a lot better.

Sorry I can't offer you a website for encouragment, but if it helps, I'm sure lots of us are in the same situation. Hope you get to feeling better about things (and I hope I do, too!) :)
I can so totally relate to that!

Not only was I new to the job, I was new to transcription, and one of the people I had to type reports up for was a russian gum chewer!  The job was at night too, so I had no one to call to "lend an ear" to help me translate and had to wait until the next day...I think I averaged about $75 for the week...and that was putting in about 12 hour nights in addition to waiting for daytime help so I could fill in blanks and not look like a complete tool.  I remember balling my eyes out like a baby thinking we would have to sell our house and lose everything we worked so hard for...just because I couldn't understand this one dictator that was 95% of my bread-n-butta at the time.


I didn't know I could ask for samples of the dictators work then either, that's how new I was.  Once I got a hold of a couple of those bad boys, it was so much easier...that and with some time I was much better off, financially and mentally. 


I guess what I'm trying to say is try and hang in there.  Maybe it's a test of strength so to speak...baptism by fire and all that.  Good luck and know you are not alone!    


can totally relate..
I think they should ALL have to type their own reports at least one time.. see if they can understand themselves (that is the ones that talk to fast, eat, drink, sleep, etc.) lol
Totally inappropriate. You should relate this to
She should remove it or the company should remove her.

I totally can relate and it does happen and will for awhile.
I lost my dad, going on 6 years now and still have my moments. I can assure you that they will get farther and farther apart as you go through the normal grieving process. Another close relative also passed away last year and I'm still going through the same thing. I'm afraid if you put your pictures away, that you'll grieve more from missing him so badly, at least that's how I'd feel, so my pictures are here on my desk and that's where they will stay.

There'll always be something that triggers the loss that you feel but after awhile it just won't hurt so bad. I remember walking through a craft fair and seeing something that reminded me of my MIL and looked over at my husband just to see that he had the same reaction I did when we passed that item. It's really odd how certain things trigger our feelings of loss.

When you look at the pictures, try to think of some of the good times that you and he shared, since you were so close. As you remember more and more of the good things, you'll hurt a little less and if after a time that does not help, then you should see outside help. Yes, there are times you'll still cry, but it won't last as long as before. The grieving process is different for every person, but I do believe what you're going through sounds normal to me.
I can relate!
I had a rotten day yesterday - dictator from H*** - U start to think you're losing your mind relistening to the same sentence over and over and over and...well, U get the point. But today is a new day! Yea!
i can really relate
you sound like me talking. where have I gone? being a mom to a 5-y/o is a full-time job, keeping the hous is a f-t job, working is a full-time job... i have disappeared. i feel unrecognizable... need to get in shape and quit the smokes... i had my boy when i was 40 and i want to live to see grandchildren...
I can relate
I can relate to this. I am 31 and have a brother who is 18. My mom and my stepdad worship whatever he does and everything I do is awful or not enough. I am educated and have a good job. I have a son that I had while married and divorced only due to verbal abuse and adultery. My brother, who I love, has problems with being rude and such and is bipolar. He does not make good grades and is not going to college right now. He took forever to get a job. He has had 5 vehicles since being 16. Each time getting a nicer one. I had to buy my own car when I was his age and it was a cheap one. I always made good grades and never got into trouble when I was younger. I could go on an on. I am just trying to say I can relate for sure. I try to not let it get to me, but it is hard. For me knowing the rest of my family notices this and does not agree to the differences between the way we are treated means a lot. Just know you are the better person for not acting like the others.
LOL. I can sure relate to that.

I think I'll start *borrowing* that phrase!  LOL again!


Thanks for the laugh, and thanks for posting. 


I can relate!
:(
I think we can all relate
We all get tired of it - am a single mom and just sold a house, after making 1100 month payments plus upkeep, all utilities, car, daughter's college - sold it for enough to pay off the car, pay cash for a mobile home and now my only bills are the utilities and lot rent, less than 500 total a month, what a difference in how I feel - so much more laid back, hopefully less gray hair and no more worries!!
i think we all can relate..
To this.  Friends have called in the middle of the day just to chit chat and are put off by my *tone*...I have to remind them that I AM working.  I've said this before on this board, my family has a critical nature and something is usually said weekly or at family gatherings.  One quote I absolutely love from one of my aunts *what are you doing right now, nothing?* when calling to make plans.  Or little comments like I have no life, i'm anti-social, or didn't live up to potential. I've heard it all.  Just makes me more sad than irritated.  I think if one person takes the time to judge and criticize someone elses life, they definitely need a life of their own. 
I can relate!
nm
I can certainly relate
I recently moved to a new town (for reasons not connected to work) after working at home for 10+ years.  I still work at home and I'm finding it hard to get out and meet new people in my new home town.  Like you I find most of them aren't anybody I want to get any closer to.  However, this is a small town and most people are nice and friendly, it's just me being picky, I guess.  I'd welcome any comments or suggestions, except those who want to diagnose some illness I don't have.
I can relate, too

I'm with you.  I'll never have only 1 account.  I have 2 right now and working on getting my third. 



Good luck to you and everybody!


I can relate
Lately I have been routed long reports - some of them 30-45 minutes long, still my favorite work type but so boring - I literally find myself sitting here falling asleep while I listen. Give me the short reports any day and I will work extra whenever needed but give me long ones and I can barely get my 8 hours. Used to get a nice mix of long and short but that changed lately.
I can relate
Gosh I'm so sorry for your loss. I know first hand how devastating suicide is (if it was intentional - you didn't say), but again, so sorry. Thanks for sharing.
Ohh, I can relate! (NM)
nm
I can relate -- sm
After 3-4 years of beginning MT via computer, my vision also worsened.

I now wear Rx glasses for computer use. (I take them off when I get up for a break.)

When I first addressed the issue with eye doc, he ask that I measure the distance from chair to monitor, which for me is approximately 2.5 feet. He checked my vision for that distance and created a special pair of glasses for computer use only.

Hope this helps!


I can relate
Nobody in my house gets that what I do is important and a "real job". In the beginning of me doing it at home my stepdad and mom dogged me behind my back and told everyone for me to get a real job. It takes a while to make decent money. I now make good money and bring home the most in my home. I live with my 7-year-old son, my boyfriend, and his 15-year-old daughter. We have financial strains and the teenager has major issues. I also deal with depression and anxiety daily along with arthritis at age 32. Over the last few years I have seen myself totally dwindle down. I think the arthritis plays a big part. My memory is terrible and it used to be great. I have tons of stress. I try to play computer games and I try my best to find some time for myself. Now that does not always happen for me. The teenager resents me even though her mom was long out of the pictures before I came along. Mom moved 3 hours away and rarely calls and she has trouble dealing with that and is lashing out at me and everyone else. I seem to get the brunt of it. She has been even taking OTC pills that teens take to try to get high and other such things. My son is very active in sports so he keeps me busy just by himself. When he practices I take my laptop and play games or listen to my music collection. I still have stress issues but I find that sometimes the "me" time helps a bit. I also recently joined cafe moms. It is a myspace type thing with groups for moms and I am finding that to help a bit to get things out and know I am not alone.
I can relate to this
The more nervous I get, the more mistakes I make! I consider myself a pretty good typist, and just the other day I got a correction report showing I made 5, count 'em, five mistakes in one report!! To be sure they were all minor grammar type things but wow that was a real wake-up call for me. In fact I think I may have been dozing off when I did that report. Does that every happen to you? Once a day I have this period of time where I must get up and move around or I will fall right out of my chair!

The result is that I am being much more vigilant and I think that's what QA is about.

Also, I have sent notes to my team manager about mistakes I catch. I figure it's bad enough the stuff I don't see, but if I see it, I definitely need to have it fixed!

Try to relax . . .
I can relate
Everyone in my family acts like because I work at home, I don't work. They think that just because I do not have to get dressed and get in my car and physically drive to a job that my job isn't real. They act like it is just some b.s. job. And all the time, can you do this? can you do that? And I have to say no, I'm working. They think that just because you are at home that you can drop what you are doing and tend to everyone. I don't know how we can ever make them understand.
I can SO relate! sm

Except that now, my kids think I work 24/7 because when they were little, I had to much of the time (no support).  I did work 20-hour days at times, but not now they are grown.


Mother's Day: 


Tad (as in Tadpole, the pole was dropped, he is nearly 6'7"):  Hi mom!


Hiya Tad.


Tad:  You working? Gotta minute to talk?


It is my weekend...I don't work Sunday or Monday.


Tad:  You are NOT working??? You take TWO days off?  Ummm so you can talk for a minute?


Sure.


Tad: You really aren't working??


I trained 'em too well.  DD is here for the summer and she is so respectful of my working hours too.


I can definitely relate!! sm
I was and still am in your shoes as far as the finances go. I was making 8 cpl, but the platform was so bad, I was killing myself barely breaking 100 lph! I've been doing this for 18+ years, am a very fast typist, and use Expanders out the ying-yang. I just got hired on by an MTSO using the BayScribe platform. I'm making 8.5 cpl as an IC and am already typing more lph in my first week! That's with learning a new platform, dictators, and creating new templates as I go! I've got $3 in my pocket to last me until Thursday, am behind on most of my bills, but praise God, do have a light at the end of this long, dark tunnel.

Have you considered finding another company or account??

I'm really sorry you are going through this because it's so hard! Hang in there though! It has taken me since last August to finally find the best fit for me.

Good luck to you!
I can relate to this post!
I do understand the need to prove ourselves as being capable, but I gave up even looking for a new job because I don't have time to take all these tests.  I had three companies I was looking at.  All three of them had tests and interviews that took up approximately 3-4 hours of time each.  That's 12 hours just to test with three companies!  I just could not do it on top of working fulltime at my regular job and all of my other responsibilities.  I'm kicking myself for potentially blowing off a great opportunity.  However, I'm no good to anyone on two hours of sleep at night.  I'm just not going to knock myself out over it all any more.  I can't give any more of myself than I already am or I'll wind up in the hospital.  I could have done it over the weekend but everyone wanted it back ASAP, probably to test our TAT response time.  Sorry, but I'm allowed to sleep and eat.  They have to understand that we are often still working our other jobs at the same time as we're job hunting.
some various comments you all might relate too

When asked what I do for a living, I tell them, the response I get the most is this "oh, i've heard of that.  Been wanting to get into it as a side job."  Gee thanks. 


Or "Did you have to go to school for that?"  And actual disbelief when I tell them I did. 


Or "Don't you get sick of not being around people?"  Again...gee thanks.  What am I a shut in?  I still at least go out and check my mail a couple times a week!


Or "Whats that"  Blank look on face or extreme disinterest or disappointment.  Gee, thanks again. 


And here's the meanest one that I received from a guy I was dating for awhile "Are you just afraid of being successful?"  Hmmm.....can I get a gee thanks?


I can REALLY relate to you in one area...
My DH is a high school principal, however, we purposely and specifically moved to a different town so that our children would not have to go to school where their Dad works.  Our oldest (a senior this year) did her freshman year at the same high school, and then we moved.   Some kids were very rude, saying mean things about her dad within ear shot so that she would hear, and kids telling her that some senior was "looking for her" because he was mad at her dad.  As far as lying... I think you might try teaching her a lesson about lying.  Tell her you're going to get her a car and then when the day comes to go get it, you can say "oops, I was lying, we're not getting a car."  In other words, show her what being lied to make a person feel like.  She can know that you're doing it in order to teach her a lesson, and that she just might never know when you're lying or telling the truth.  She will soon realize what she is doing to you and what it's like to live with a liar.  My DD is very honest and we havn't had any troubles with her, but I've got 2 more coming up so who knows what's in store for me there.  There but for the Grace of God go I, so I will not boast about the one well-behaved teenager that I have raised.  Sometimes in spite of everything we do, and the best upbringing, some kids just make poor choices.  Hang in there.  I now know why God invented menopause. Can you imagine what these people having babies at 45 have in store for them in their 60s?  They're NUTS!
I can REALLY relate to you in one area...
Dear Lisa,

My ex's latest bimbo (who is now his wife) badmouthed me in front of my then 12 yr. old daughter. This trash even went as far as to discuss their intimate relationship in detail in front of my child.

Although my daughter lives with me, she has no respect for this trashy woman.

Your daughter will eventually see through this woman's lieing and manipulation. From 15 to 17 is a tough age for girls and your daughter is right smack in the middle.

I would be firm with my daughter and tell her that calling you names and being rude to your fiancee and his family is unacceptable and you just won't tolerate it.

Further, tell her that respect is earned and she'll have to clean up her act if she wants your respect.

Your daughter knows how to "push your buttons" but don't let her get to you. Ask her, "How would you like it if I called you names all the time?" When the shoe is on the other foot, teens have a tendency to think about things more than we realize.

A real job doesn't have to bring in a paycheck. The most important jobs that we women have is being a Mom. If we are able to juggle motherhood and still bring in a paycheck then all the better. It doesn't matter if your office is in the living room, or in an office downtown.

If that paycheck helps buy your daughter things that she wants, I would simply say next time she asks for something, "Sorry, I don't have a real job, so there's no real cash to get you what you want."

Sometimes you have to stop being the "nice parent" and put your foot on the brake. In the long run, your daughter will come around and respect you for it.


don't know but I feel for ya, can relate!

x


well, mine's 140, and I do this so I don't have to relate to

I can relate to how you feel in a way. SM
I had production values published at a team meeting. Fortunately for me my values were the highest and were made public to my team only after some complaints about cherry pickers had gone on and on. It's a long story. Anyways, even though I was glad I had the higest rating, I really did not feel it was anyone else's business aside from my boss what my production rate was. (To add, I work 4 accounts, all WTs all docs, any and everything and was accused of cherry picking to boot. I think the values were published just because of that fact and to shut this other MT's pie hole. :)) ) I will say this is not the norm and never happened again that I am aware of, and the squeaky wheel who complained left soon after.

The fact is we are all different. That sounds simple but I really think management can overlook that sometimes. When they look at the bottom line sometimes they disregard information like if we are working ESLs, difficult specialties, difficult non-ESL docs, the length of the reports, etc. It's easy to compare apples to apples when all they are looking at is the time you logged versus the time MT #4 logged. I have a lot of experience and have worked a couple of my accounts for over a decade. All of that has to factor in. EVERYTHING has to factor in. It's called Life, especially if you are working at home.

After you've taken a step back, formulate whatever complaints or points you'd like to make about the new policy or whatever it is and ask that person what the benefits are. I would think the benefit of incentive just knowing what everyone else is doing would really be fairly low. We can only do what we can do without sacrificing quality over quantity; which I think happens when this kind of info is displayed for everyone. We should be working for the company, not against each other. If you can make your production according to the requirements set for you that should be enough.

If it's going to stay public knowledge you might want to point out some things not being factored in that you mentioned and let that person know that it actually hindered your production being so openly compared in the company of your peers than it did to help you. You might not be alone in that boat. If one or two people need to step it up then it should be between them and their trans. mngr., not open to speculation by ones peers in my opinion. You've been at your job X number of years without this shinola, without complaints, etc. that it seems really intrusive and unhelpful to me.

Good luck to you. If you can't change the situation at least be content with the knowledge that you are doing the best YOU can do. That is all any of us can aspire to.

katz


Oh girl I can relate
I have those days many times. Two days ago was comparable to yours. I was also having cable internet problems. We are also trying to get ready to move into my BF's parents rent house. Well they call and I need to get the electric turned on ASAP over there. I had just called the cable about my problems and also the transferring of new service to the new house. The cable lady and I kept missing each other. When I would try to call back for about 4 hours off and on it was constantly busy. Our home phone decides to stop rining outloud somewhere in there. My 14 yr old SD and her friend were BORED and I kept being bothered with it all. The cat threw up a hair ball I had to clean up. I was trying to keep laundry done for the move and pack some things off an on. My Yorkie was extra needy and kept jumping on my legs every time I turned around. My 6 yr old was whining all day long and wanted friends in the house running in and out. SD friend cut his arm on the nail in her wall so I had to doctor him up. BF came inside in a horrible mood taking it out on me. On top of all of this I am having some major monthly cramps. I am in the middle of the living room right now. In the new house I will have my own office and cannot wait. That night I laid down to rest and just sighed. I was about in tears from the stress of it all. I am with you just because I work at home does not mean I have time to do all of the extra things for everyone as I still have to work. It is very very stressful!! I have many days like yours with crashed food here or there or spills of drink (those happen often for me with my son). My son is very clumbsy when it comes to drinks for some reason and when he eats he leaves crumbs everywhere like a monster for sure. I love working at home but these things are negatives. No typing done no money!!
All of us with kids can certainly relate to you - sm
Mine can be a pain but for the most part they entertain each other (6 & 7 y/o girls). They have been out of school since June 1! I generally work a lighter schedule in the summer since to do what I normally do, about 90 minutes, I'd have to get up at 3 a.m. work until 9 a.m. and probably do more between 9-11 p.m. I don't want to be exhausted ALL the time so I just cut back to about 60 minutes a day in the long run. Still work wacky hours though. This Summer is easier as Jen is healthy, no more chemo, doing well and feeling good with plenty of enery. So I just try to keep them busy when I do have to work during the day (rush report or whatever); mine play with their toys, ride their bikes out front and swim (have one of those 4 x 18' Intex pools, worth every penny) right outside the bedroom back door where I can see them while I work. Granted there are days they are up my butt, which is why an altered or reduced schedule is absolutely necessary to preserving sanity. Good luck to all of us who deal with this!
Thanks for sharing, I can SO relate!!
Have a new account which is basically a breeze but for one ESL who is the toughest one I have ever had.  So it's nice to know somewhere in the world some other MT is also suppressing a scream!!  Hang in there! 
Can relate to burn-out

I know how you feel.  Been doing this job for 22+ years and I feel like I have to fight myself to start each day, my productivity has gone to the dogs and I need a major break, which is impossible to get.  The apathy concerns me because I've never been so unmotivated in my entire life.  I cannot afford to take off and I cannot afford to keep doing what I'm doing.  The more burnt out I get, the less I produce and the less I produce the less time off I accrue (as in zilch).   I understand the rut you're in.  I sometimes wake up crying, knowing I'm going to pound my brains out for nothing.  The harder I try, the worse it seems to get.  I used to be a huge producer in the past but I am so fried right now that I can barely stand to log in to work.  My back hurts, my shoulders hurt and I'm so sick of sitting here watching my life go by that I feel like I've melded into an extension of my computer and foot pedal.  I've never been this burnt out before and it has taken me by surprise.  My family, friends and even my physician are on my case about not having a life but I don't know what else to do for now. 


There was a time when burn-out was recognized in this field and steps taken to prevent it.  But now the theme to MT is "mush, mush, mush! 24/7."  I sometimes envision someone cracking a whip behind me like a horse, then putting me in the barn wet.  And like that horse that has gotten too tired and just lays down, I'm becoming completely ineffective.


 


First, I can relate - second you need a new company (sm)
400 lines in 8 hours?  Looking up company names all day - no, no, no.  You could find a better company, work 4 hours a day and make more money.  You should be able to get at least 200 lines an hour.  If not, there is something wrong with the company, not you.  I used to work for a company that was dishonest and I never made much for them.  You need to look for someone else to work for.  There are plenty of jobs out here for us transcriptionists with experience.  As far as no one understanding your job - I get that from my husband and inlaws too.  I just put my foot down recently and demanded more help from my husband.  I have started snapping retorts at my inlaws when they comment on me "not working" .  I work 8 hours a day and make as much as I used to make working at an office, plus I have my 2 kids here with me and don't have to pay child care.  I am almost 40 years old and I know I am doing my best, and anyone who doesn't believe it can kiss my hiney!!  Just don't put up with it anymore. For years I was sweet and cordial and apologetic when people like that would put me down.  When I finally started putting them in their place everyone was upset and angry because they were so used to me being passive and quiet.  It was tough for about a year but I think they have all gotten used to the new me.  You are putting up with waaaay too much from your husband, your inlaws and the company you work for. Honey - stand up for yourself.  You are kicking butt if you can be a Transcriptionist at all - do you know how many people have asked me to train them but can't do it??  And then to still be taking care of your child too - come on!!!  How many people could do both???  I'm mad just thinking about it because I have been there. 
I soooo can relate to you!.....sm
Please don't feel so bad, menopause affects your mood, temperament, just so many things about your body that you are used to! I had a radical hysterrectomy back in 2000, so I had to go through menopause "instantly." I could not take the patch and hated HRT, so I have been using naturopathic supplements to help....but depression, mood swings, cravings, the HORRIFIC night sweats and hot flashes, lowered libido....I got it all, and it really is a transition. Could you perhaps speak with a compassionate female therapist, not necessarily a psychiatrist, but someone who understands what you are going through and can hash out all of the issues that are bothering you? Just know that I care, you have friends here, and please feel free to e-mail me anytime, okay?
I can relate to the indecision...

During the 20+ years that I was an IC (from my mid-20s to mid-40s) I toyed off and on with the idea of health insurance ... and even had it for a while when my state had a great subsidized plan available. Good timing on that because I ended up having a hysterectomy which came in a bit over $10K, insurance paid all but $1500.


Then I went again without insurance for a while, then had it as an employee, now am IC again and don't have it...but I will be getting it now in the next month or so, now that my budget is ready for it.


I've always been healthy as a horse, and even though I'm in my 50s now I still feel like I'm invincible - LOL! The difference today is that I don't have to look to far to find someone who was financially devastated when something unexpected came up and they didn't have health insurance. Even a fall from a ladder with resultant broken bones can cost in the thousands these days ... and I don't have a savings account to cover that kind of unexpected expense.


Insurance is like preventative medicine, as far as I'm concerned -- the risks of not doing it are so much higher than the actual cost of doing it! Especially with today's cost of medicine.


BTW, you can only deduct one-half of your insurance premiums as an IC, unless something has changed in recent years.


Good luck with your decision! 


You sure hit the nail on the head on that one, too. I always could relate to The Who
and Tommy - what was the "evil uncle"'s name - Uncle Ernie! Yuck. My family had, and still has, a few uncle Ernie's, among other names...Horrible stuff, huh? And lets NOT forget as mothers the dangers of sleepovers. I know they are all the rage, but do you know how DANGEROUS they are?  My husband and I are in our 40s, and we BOTH were "fondled" and luckily ran away at sleepovers when we were kids - either at relatives' homes, or "best friends". Same thing with LOTS of my girlfriends.  I used to want to vomit when I got invited to one - was a social blunder to say NO, and I could NEVER tell my Mom why I really didn't want to go...I also type sex assault clinics regularly, and you would NOT believe how often stuff "goes wrong" at these things.  Ever wonder why some parents are just ALWAYS so eager to have sleepovers at their homes?  I have given in with each of my kids once and let them go to a sleepover, and always something has gone wrong - not very wrong, but wrong enough that my kids don't even want to go to them anymore.  We can never take back a mistake like that -sending our kids to a sleepover, sending them to Aruba before they're mature enough.  Its far better to err with caution than to mess up.  And, yes, its not always the stranger next door, its the monster in your family.
boy i can relate. i'm ready to quit a
new job because of something similar. heaven forbid tech people being able to fix a "tech" problem.  i know more than he does and it's getting to the point that this company isn't worth the trouble. it's a shame because i like the other people that i deal with.
LOL I can relate. I have a naughty little kitty, too.
The house can be so quiet during the day with the kids and husband all gone. Then kitty decides it's time to play. He likes to try to get my Betta fish out of the bowl. He pounces on my dogs to get them to chase him around and around the house. He tries to claw the walls, furniture or carpet. He rubs against me and wants to be held. He jumps up on my keyboard or lap. He can't play with his toys. Oh, no! He's got to bug me. Sometimes, he's so frustratingly attention seeking that I have to stick him in "his" room until I'm done working. He used to sleep in a cubby hole on my desk when he was a tiny kitty. Now, he's so big that he knocks things over. The worst one was when he jumped up on my desk and knocked over a vase full of flowers and water. Crack, splash! All over everything.
Oh I can relate to the "change" issue
I told my doc that my body now has 2 different thermostats!  My legs are always cold while the upper part goes through these flashes...yikes!
My kinda cook! I can sure relate! nm
nm
She/he is just blowing off some steam, and I can relate! nm
xx
i can relate. don't let anyone talk you into thinking you are strange or different.
there are good qualities in loners.
I can relate. My mother used to do the same thing to me when I first started doing this -sm

she would say I am going to let you go so you can get back to work and then go off on some other topic and several minutes later I am still on the phone.  I finally would start typing so she could hear my fingers on the keyboard so she would finally let me go.  She would also call right before I had to pick up my girls from school and then get huffy when I had to tell her I had to go because they were waiting for me (tell me that I should make them ride the bus so I could stay home and get my work done - this after keeping me on the phone for over 20 minutes or more so she was the reason I wasn't getting my typing done).  I also had to do what you are doing and let the machine pick up (the only reason I answered the phone was just in case it was the school calling about my kids). 


She also told me once that I shoud go camping for the week with them (my husband could take us one weekend and come home and work the week and come back the next weekend).  This after explaining to her many many times that I only get paid when I type and if I take a vacation I not only lose the $$ I would have made that week but end up spending that and then some during the vacation.  Several years later my brother lost his job and worked sales for another company and only got paid a small salary and comission and when they only camped close enough to home so that my brother could still work she acted like that was no big deal (hello, same thing I had been trying to get through her head for several years before that).  Some people just don't get it that we are actually working and that we only get paid by production so with any interruptions we lose $$.  Good luck to you.  I certainly understand where you are coming from.  Not sure there is anything you can do or say to make him understand though.       


I can relate to your story 100%, but be careful. I tried 4 other companies, and they were WORSE BY
FAR! you-know-who looks like a godsend now compared to so many others.  I am so glad that I never officially left, as I was an SE for years.  Happens to lots of us - we leave and come running back, literally, which is a sad statement of the current state of this industry! Good luck, though I would suggest covering your back.
I can relate.....I took on extra work and now my DH just picked a fight with me, and is also winding
the kids up massively as I type this. Totally off your subject but he just dropped on me that he is cutting all contact off from my dad since he recently remarried and intimated that he was leaving me and my brothers nothing in his will......DH also said the kids were not allowed to have any contact with him either.  I can get around that and just leave with the kids when he is at work if I have to resort to that.  But this is bullsh*t.....I fear if it keeps up I am headed for divorce court.  He is getting weirder and weirder about money, though he professes not to care or want it.  Then he dropped that when his dad (75) dies his mom (70) was moving in with us.......WHAT!  So right now I am hoping that his mom goes first as he will never live with his dad, or that his dad lives another 15 years at least....We had promised my mom she could live with us, but now that she is dead, he says it will be his mother as he has to protect his interests (and the kids....as supposedely all his parent's money is to go to them.....he plans not to touch it). So needless to say I am LIVID, don't want to work right now, am not talking to him though he keeps coming in and ranting more....he has calmed down some but still driving me nuts.  He has to stop drinking, that is what it comes down to....much more rational then.  But I really think the writing is on the wall and it's scary as I have no where to go now.
Totally Special, totally HOT! NM
z