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Why make your child suffer...

Posted By: ADHD Mom on 2006-09-30
In Reply to: Parents with ADD/ADHD kids....sm - Mom

just because you think medication is wrong? If the medications will help, why not use it? My son was on dexadrine from the time he was 2 until he was 12 and is now excelling in high school at the age of 16. Yes, his growth was stunted while on the meds, (he's now 6 foot 2, 290 pounds!), but what a trade off!! He was able to concentrate and get his work done without disrupting the class and we never had to do an IEP or make things difficult for the teacher. (By they way, they do have other chidren in their classroom who need to be taught, not just yours.) We also didn't just limit his sugar...it was forbidden! He did not have anything with sugar or sugar substitute (same reaction) until he was around 14. Now he doens't even like it and does not crave it. He's a big guy because of his family genes.

Meds are not a bad thing if taken corrently and monitered. My son say his doc twice a month for weight checks and to see if any changes needed to be made to his meds.

Another thing you need to look at is the childs IQ. My son tested at age 4 with a 168 IQ, which was part of his problem, not just his ADHD. He was bored in school and that caused part of his 'attention' problems.

You can't rely on the school to make changes for just your child, you need to take control and if that means meds, it means meds. It makes me sad knowing that a child is suffering because they aren't getting the meds they need. Same way I would feel knowing a child wasn't getting an antibiotic or asthma medicine if needed. It's sad. javascript:editor_insertHTML('text','');
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you are supposed to make the child ready for the "real world" If they cannot handle a little
you are supposed to make the child ready for the "real world" If they cannot handle a little spanking, then what will they do if mugged, raped, etc.

they cannot emotionally cope with this. Spanking is not that big of deal unless you take to extremes.

Would you rather have your child end up either victimized or being the victim? Life is hard. If you keep the "Bad" stuff away from your child, you are not protecting her, you are setting them up for more harm.

Tough love works. Sometimes you have to get tough.
Go to NBC10.com - Our local news has "Wednesday's Child" which is a child for adoption.
Every Wednesday they introduce a child who needs a home and a family. There should be some information there as these kids are up for adoption.

www.NBC10.com -

Hope that helps!
WRONG! A child that has a fear of discipline = a well behaved child.
I have a beautiful, intelligent 11 year old daughter that hasn't had a spanking in 6 or 7 years and probably only 3 her entire life. She is very well behaved and I get compliments on her behavior constantly. When she does get out of line all I have to say is, "Shall I call your father?" Call it what you want, it works. She respects and obeys me and her father. Why??? For fear of the facing the consequences of misbehaving. Having a total lack of fear or respect for authority is exactly what's wrong with Generation X/kids today. I turned out just fine as did my siblings. Why?? Because my parents took "time out" to bust our a$$es whenever we got out of line.

Is that clear enough for you???
Yeah, and look WHO gets to suffer through the (nm)
xx
Does anyone else suffer from ophthamologic migraines?
If so, how long do yours last and what do you do for them.  I have been almost blind for the last week.  Doctor said might take up to 6 weeks go clear up. 
I suffer from seasonal depression
and am using light therapy.  This has been about two or three weeks now, and I cannot believe the difference in my mood.  It is wonderful.  I put in a fluorescent light fixture in my office that takes four 4-foot bulbs  I bought bulbs at Home Depot.  They had a large selection.  I bought ones that say they imitate sunlight.  Now working under them for my regular shift, I have felt a huge difference in my mood.  I thought I was going to have to go on medication, but now I feel so much better. 
Agree...no animal has to suffer for me...
I have been using the wild yam - so far, so good. ?
Do you think patient care will suffer any?
will treat the laptop like it is you, and ignore you, the patient.
Think this has been discussed before, but the sound quality will probably suffer if you do it. nm
s
...don't suffer needlessly. You don't have to feel a thing if
s
eternity is a long time to suffer for being wrong.
If you live as if there is no God -- you'd better be right.

Are you the one with the ill child ???
If so, please realize that the stress of an ill child can be devastating to a marriage. Unfortunately many men deal with this kind of thing by drinking.  My best friend in the world went through 4 yrs of fighting leukemia with her little boy who became ill at 12 months.  Her husband turned into a total and complete jerk, drinking, and eventually becoming abusive to her.  A major medical illness can pull people apart.  On the other hand, it sometimes draws people together, but less often.  I had our third child extremely premature and she was critically ill for 2 months and then spent another 2 months in the NICU, 4 months total.  It was a big stress, but fortunately we weathered it okay.  Some people are not so lucky.  My first thought is that all this nonsense with your father, and his mother, and wills and money, and all the rest is just something to fixate on.  It may very well NOT be the source of the current friction in your home and your marriage.  Maybe some counseling if you can get him to go, would be in order.  My best to you and your family.
It's no wonder--with a child like you...
your mother probably ripped her own uterus out, and that will be the one and only post to this person.  It was just too easy!! 
Why would you do that to your child?
/
New car for my child
My 17-year-old did get a new car for his birthday for several reasons: He has never given us a bad time about anything, he has a 4.2 GPA, and did a 2,210 on his SAT (the new SAT),is headed to the college he had his eye on for several years now (asked for and got early acceptance letter) and he has been working part-time since he was 14 years old.

We decided to get him a new car because he will need it for school (it's a few states away and we want him to have something dependable) and because he has really gone the distance and worked very hard to get to this point.

I'm really not bragging here, these are just our reasons. He didn't get a fancy racing car, just something that is nice and dependable and made us comfortable.


Anyone whose child has gotten the flu?
Symptoms of coughing, fever, chills and sweats, no appetite, hurts all over, sleepy.  Grandson has been this way for 5 days, 2 visits to the doc, lost 2 lbs in 5 days (which for a little guy is a lot).  X-rays show no pneumonia.  What can we do?  Any ideas gratefully appreciated.
Think about the child
and the fact that it is not wanted. Funny I did not hear one mention about adoption in this post. Sometimes abortion is the best choice (IMO).
Let's do think about the child
Adoption has been mentioned in some of the posts, but you may have missed it. A person who kills somebody else may be thinking of many things, but the actual well-being of the person he or she is killing is certainly not one of them. Everyone is "not wanted" by somebody else at some point in their lives.
You spending 3K in gasoline to make 4K plus all that time on the road?That doesn't make sense Pat




The best defense for a child...
As heart tugging as they are, accurate transcription is sooooo important for any person, there is a lot at stake and your best effort at triple checking what you have typed is our little helping hand at helping those seeking help. Flag ANYTHING you doubt, if you get lost in the "he said, she said," someone else will too and calling attention to those items WILL HELP to ensure the reports are easily read and understood. Keep up the good work, the job we do IS IMPORTANT! Any complaint or abuse is paperwork, paperwork, paperwork, just be sure those you do are the cream to help those who in need.
different child, different methods
I am the mother of two 20-year-olds, 1 boy and 1 girl. I can tell you from first hand experience the type of discipline depends on the child. My daughter, she might have had 2 spankings in her whole life. She could be talked to and punished in other ways that worked. My son, on the other hand, about every 6 months he would be due for a spanking and then he was fine again. I have learned from experience, never say that you will never do something or that you will not do something. If one thing does not work, believe you will go to spanking if it means saving your child.
Any child is more adult than you are.
I grow weary of your tiresome chatter.....
does anyone have a child that models? sm
or in commercials, print ads, etc? My 6 YOS is just adorable (of course!) and he has a very bright, outgoing personality. I am told all the time that he should be in "pictures", but don't know how to go about getting started. I don't have money to invest in all the pictures and things.  I know this is probably a long shot, but any info would be greatly appreciated. 
Don't think I'd put my child in that business (sm)

It's something they can pursue when they are old enough.


Also, don't spend a lot on pictures, if you have to pay for just reprinting of pictures and they pay for the photographer that is probably reasonable.


CHILD SUPPORT??

 Can ANYONE give me some legitimate service who goes after "deadbeat dads"????  I'm at the end of my emotional rope, and my state (Oklahoma) has not helped much in nailing down this butthead ('cuse my French)....I've talked to a few "services" which IF they get anything from him, they will probably take 60-70% of it!!!    Has anyone had any luck anywhere??  Why do these guys (and I'm sure there are gals out there too!) get away with not supporting their kids???


Sorry to vent  ...I type for a living (like you) and beating this keyboard sometimes helps me feel better!  Thanks for listening (reading ??)....


 


child support
Believe me, deadbeat moms are very prevalent, moreso than people think.  I know from personal experience that these moms rather spend their money on themselves than send even the tiny amount they are required by law to send to their child, all the time professing how much they love their children. 
Child Support

We have a newer prosecuter in one of our local county's who started a new program to go after deadbeat parents.  3 times a year, she post the pictures of the worst offenders on the front pages of the newpapers, along with how much they owe...usually has a pretty good rate of call in's to report seeing them.  She's also working extremely hard to get the state to NOT renew drivers lisc. on any of those who are over 2,000 in arrears.


My sister finally got the attention of our prosecuter when her ex got close to 30 grand, the folks at CS just did not seem to have a working phone or at least one they answered, so they went after him, showed up in court, the magistrate took all of 10 minutes to look over the files...asked the idiot and the prosecuter if he had a working wage deduction in place (which he did on paper), and then said...Well he has the wage order in place, so case over 


Now how the heck do you think he got to the 30 grand mark if the wage order was working........duh  Good luck, been there before and glad mine has paid on time.


Child with GERD

Hi there!


My son started projectile vomiting when he was just 2 months old.  It took us 10 months to find a doctor that would diagnosis him with anything.  As of now he is almost 7 and he takes 20 mg of Priosec daily, 5 mg of singular, and OTC Pepcid AC when he has a flare-up.   Which is almost weekly.  We had him on 40 mg for a long time, but the doc is wanting to try to get that down!  


After such a long time of all this gasping for air, the same as you described, we took Josh to an allergiest and he has been diagnosed with asthma also.  This is VERY common in children with GERD.  I would MOST definiately check that out!!!


Good Luck and let us know how you are doing!


Chel 


Keeping any child
I disagree. I would much rather home school a child than send them into what passes for education today. I support the mothers who home school!
be sure you get child support

It might not be much, but it will help. I didn't have the option of working fulltime from home when my son was small, so I had to put him in daycare. Found a reasonable sitter who was very reliable. But to supplement my day income, I did work part-time at night. I fed him, helped him with homework, bathed him and then put him down for bed and THEN went to work at home, many nights until 1 a.m.God gives us strength to get through things when we need it, cause I certainly don't think I could do it now! It will not be easy for you with 2 young children, but it can be done. It will require sacrifices, but don't sacrifice time with your children or time for yourself! Do a lot of praying.  God Bless and I wish you the best. Keep a support group around you as much as possible.  


say that the best doctor for the child(ren)......is...sm

THEIR MOTHER............


True................


believe it or not - Good Mommy's are the best diagnosticians of their children. 


32 next month one child age 6
I am 31, 32 next month and I am divorced with a precious son who is 6
raise up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he
I figure I taught him what I know and believe. He has to make the decisions from there, and if what I taught him was strong enough, and believable enough, he will do OK. May make mistakes, but he'll do OK.
Exactly that, it is a fetus and not yet a child.
Not yet a human being. Many people miscarry and although devastating you don't see them acting quite the same as if they lost a 2 year old child, do you? They do not hold a funeral service for a fetus along with burial and a headstone, do they? It is definitely not the same as a child.
You should take this as far as you can. The next time it may be a child on the other end of the
:+
Yes... Each child learns on a different day in a different way.
x
This just has to be a child posting, no??
x
if you have a child togehther.
nm
I believe it should be left up to each child and

what they are comfortable with (of course also what the parents can handle too).  My son has to be limited to 1 sport at a time along with his guitar lessons.  Anymore than this at a time stresses him out and I know this.  He makes mostly A's with his occasional B.  (He is 9 years old.)


In saying that though, I have an 8-year-old daughter who prefers to be very, very busy.  She is also an A&B student  She run CC track, does ballet, on a competition cheer team and gymnastics and is wanting to add a dance class.  For an 8yo though she is very good at time management.  She starts her homework on the bus and takes it with her to work on between classes some nights.  She has been at the same dance studio for years and they know how she is, so she goes and sits behind the front desk to do whatever she feels she needs to do.


I guess what I am saying is this...  Your child will let you know if it is too much or not enough.  Just give them the chance to make the decision and not have you do it for them.


what an amazing child you have...

Your post brought tears to my eyes.  She's really something special...you are so blessed.  Please give her a BIG HUG for me...she's an inspiration!


P.S.  You must be pretty amazing yourself!!! You deserve a big hug too!


My child has been tested....sm
By 3 different psychiatrists and psychologists who are children specialists. She does well without medication when she has tasks broken down into small increments and with redirection when she gets off track. I'm not going to medicate her with anything when she is fine when given these helpful guidelines, and her doctors are conservative enough to agree with me and don't hand out pills quickly. If she displayed ADD/ADHD symptoms to the severity that she couldn't function in life without parameters that work it would be a different story.

She is physically active with playing sports (i.e. soccer and basketball depending on the season or doing dance when it's off season for both) and we take her to the playground often. As far as diet goes, we limit her sugar intake as she is more hyper when she is exposed to sugars and even she recognizes that if she has a lot of sugar she gets more hyper.

Is this a child dictating?
I once had a doc say "I asked the patient to pee in a cup". I forget what I changed it to but I cannot stand the word "pee" and refused to use that. It is so vulgar (of course got the approval from my supe first on the change).
Child dictating
Both my Ped doctors say poop and pee. Is this going to be the industry norm? Maybe we won't have rhinorrhea any more, just snotty noses, and a few owies, ouchies, and boo boo's. lol
In the years since then my child has
gone on to a very responsible job, married (divorced though now, you know with these throw-away marriages the kids have now)and self-sufficient, carries their own insurance and know very well the importance of never letting it drop. The kid in college (3rd year) and told while at school over the phone by the head of infectious disease specialist at the hospital where I worked that tested positive for human immunovirus. The child quit school that very day, never returned and was so gung-ho up until that time about their schooling. I knew I had to get Cobra and get it quick and thank God we were able to have that bridge until over that horrific shock and he was able to gain his own employment. The child basically has done well but anyone working in this field possibly knows about the what ifs with this disease- it has been 15 years since then and I just pray for a lot more years for them.
Me too here for my child. I'd be happy for just some
groceries at this point.
For a child, I might consider Debrox,
which is for the ears, but that may be a bit far off your s/l.
The patient must be a child of
Bambi and Rambo!
Not about child abuse, but...

...a pretty funny story.  A friend was working with her horse when he tossed his head, smacked her in the face and broke her nose.  By the time her hubby got her to the ER she had a huge shiner, a huge nose and was swollen and black & blue on one side of her face, plus had wrenched her shoulder. 


Various hospital personnel began asking her how it had happened.  About every 10 minutes somebody else came in to put her through the whole horse story again, and this went on for a couple of hours.  Then a cop showed up and asked her the same stuff and also spoke with her husband, and then it dawned on her that this whole time they had been trying to shake her story.  They thought her HUSBAND had belted her! 


And about a week later she got a visit from a social worker just to make sure she was 'okay.'  Far from being upset about this (although it was annoying to have people bothering her constantly in the ER) they both thought this was pretty hilarious.  And they figured that their tax dollars were not being wasted and their county agencies were doing what they should be doing. 


I don't believe in child abuse
or drug abuse, but I don't refuse to type reports involving child abuse victims and drug overdoses.

This seems a little out there to me. Don't get the logic.
I certainly will be praying for you and your furry child (your other one too)
I hope everything goes well with your trip.  Your dog couldn't be anywhere better than at the vet's if you have to leave her.  I'm sure she will be fine when you get back, but I will be thinking of you.  Whatever is God's plan will be, though.  Hope that helps you. 
If it were my child, I wouldn't come home either
but just because they arrested those three guys, doesn't mean they're guilty. They have no clues, no facts, no body.

Someday someone may stumble on her bones, but mom is going to go through hell till then. Dead is easier than missing.

It is sad but true that if she had not been a pretty, young blonde from America, she would have been forgotten right about day three.