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Your first responsibility is to YOUR kids. sm

Posted By: Anony on 2006-05-29
In Reply to: Need advice on kids and sharing - M

Since it's obvious this other family is troubled, and also that they will not respect the rules of your family and household, you need to talk to YOUR kids.

They need to know they are safe, and that you will be responding, and they need to know HOW you will respond. Predators use some of the crap these kids are pulling, and your kids need to have an identity strong enough to remain KIND but NOT give in to the other kids' behavior.

I'm going to assume (ouch) that your kids are uncomfortable with the situation. Please let it be a teaching opportunity for them. They know the rules; why are the OTHER kids allowed to break your family rules? They want to be kind; can you teach them also to be FIRM?

Good luck. Your kids are your first priority. You may never even KNOW what in the world is going on with the other kids, let alone be able to do anything about it, but your kids will remember this episode for the rest of their lives, probably. Will they also remember how you taught them to understand and overcome?




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responsibility?

Everyone has made a bad decision at some point in their lives.  That doesn't mean that we deserve to be killed because of it.  The responsibility lies with the criminals.  They are the ones who do the bad things to innocent people.  How many girls are kidnapped and raped who aren't out drinking?  Many.  Why not talk about the parents of the suspected boy?  Where does their responsibility lie?  We are criticising Natalee's  mother, but what about this boy's father?  How could you hide information about your son's actions when he has possibly killed someone? 


Your mentality is lacking.  If you get in a car and drive to work, does that mean you are just asking to be killed in a traffic accident.  And if you are, people should just say Oh well, she chose to drive!  That's what she gets. ????


Responsibility
Sorry, but I think Beth should be held accountable and responsible for her actions/words.  She is out of control, in my opinion, fueled by her raw emotion and e-mails/letter/cards she feels are supporting her actions.  She is supported in her ordeal and I support her.  However, she has crossed a line now and she needs to step back and reassess.  She seems erratic and just grasping at straws now, saying a lot of stuff in interviews that really makes no sense.  I do not know how I would react if I was in her situation so I should not criticize her.  I just really do feel that her emotions are too raw now for her to be rational.  It is like she is declaring, "I came to Aruba.  I found the criminals myself, now prosecute them."  What if she eventually finds out she was dead wrong, that her beautiful, intelligent, outstanding daughter was alive when she the mother arrived in Aruba but she drove the investigation to go the way she wanted it to go, the way she felt in her heart/soul was the right way.  But, what if she is wrong?  What if the investigators dropped what they were doing to catch the real criminals to passify Beth and the media?  What if Natalee could have been saved?  How will her mother feel then if she finds that out?
let the dr take responsibility
Liability insurance?  The doctors are supposed to read over our transcribed reports and when they put their signature on the report, they have taken responsibility.  Why should we have to pay for liability insurance?
Where is MTs responsibility in this? Is it always
x
How about the responsibility of the INDIVIDUAL
You've totally missed the whole point of the article!
Govt responsibility
Totally agree with you.  I dont care if some were not prepared..what I care about is now they are hungry, thirsty, homeless..It is the responsibility of our government and the brothers and sisters of America to help other Americans when they need help.  I am from NY and I have been through quite a few hurricanes..nothing like what Florida goes through but I do know hurricanes hit sometimes when you are a day or two from your paycheck and really dont have any money to go shopping or rent out a hotel room.  It scares me that so many Americans blame the victim and turn a blind eye and deaf ear to Americans in need. 
No, sorry, dear. It's her responsibility to
set and example of standards and intelligence because she's representing the company she's working for. She's a manager, not an owner and she's not paying anyone. She's on the payroll too and has the responsibility to make the company look professional and polished.

You're dead wrong on this one.
Yes, I think it is a responsibility and I mad a promise...

to mom to not ever put  her in a nursing home as a young 20-something. As an only child, I followed and kept that promise.


I cared for her for 6 years. It should have been more but I didn't realize she was going downhill so fast. I was very stressed out in her later years as she started to develop a lot of problems including memory problems,  but when I look back, I would NEVER, EVER, change my mind. She was happy here with us and although she was having a lot of problems, the only thing I wished for was for her to be comfortable and happy. (She was in a nursing home temporarily for 2 months after she broke her hip and was very unhappy. This was sort of a test to see if she would like it, but she didn't.) I did everything necessary to make her comfortable in her last years.


 It was hard, but I kept my promise even though every doctor told me to put her in a nursing home. Thank heavens, I worked for a great company that understood and allowed me to take as many breaks/days off as I needed to care for her.  I would never have changed a thing even though I got very worn out during the end myself because she was almost totally bedridden. Still, I loved my mother with all my heart and still miss her even though she died 6 years ago.


 I only hope my children would do the same for me unless i have Alzheimer disease. If a parent is unhappy at a nursing home, by all means do what is necessary to make their last days happy. After all, they raised us, and we should return that love.


You need to be patient, be a nurse, doctor, etc. for an elderly parent and if there is none, it could be very, very "unhealthy" for the parent and the child, but I feel we need to make sacrifices for  our parents happiness in their later years as they sacrificed for us in our early years. After all, they are the only parents we had, andI I have NO regrets, knowing I did the best I could for her.


Sorry to ramble. I'm still grieving. I wanted her to live to be 100 if possible.We were really close all our lives.


and he as mayor of that city had no responsibility at all?
Such convoluted logic. Believe me, he's doing a great job of pointing the finger of blame and ducking responsibility on his own without any help from you.
collective work and responsibility?
thats insane
ultimately it's the hospital's responsibility but do you want to keep your job?
If you do, you'll make sure the hospital is happy. Not a lot you can do here unless you want to cut a deal with the hospital where you will have a sub work your account for you when you are off. That may or may not fly at the hospital. Another thing you can ask is that they hire a third person to work the account. Of course, that means you risk losing work if she wants more...
The doc who signs off on it has ultimate responsibility.
.
You chose IC status. Your responsibility. nm
///
and it is our responsibility to know the account specifics...
nm
This is the responsibility of the MTSO, in my opinion. SM
Go directly to the transcription service or company owner. I have always felt strongly that the person in charge of the particular problem account must address this directly with the physician(s) who are dictating the garbage. For years, I had several local physician practices. Most were excellent dictators, but one in particular was horrible. I put up with it for a few weeks, and then addressed the problems with an outlined specification sheet indicating what information needs to be given in dictation to protect the safety of the patient record, as well as to produce an acceptable medical report. I also indicated that transcriptions requiring repetitive deletions, going back and changing dictation, and constant misspelled words would be charged a higher line rate. This is also the doctor who would give the filled in blanks back to be retyped. These were blanks that were completely inaudible in the original dictation because of excess noise, coughing while saying the words, or laughing with colleagues while trying to dictation. In bold, I also specified PLEASE DICTATE IMPORTANT PATIENT MEDICAL RECORDS IN A QUIET AREA THAT IS FREE OF EXCESS BACKGROUND NOISE TO ENSURE ACCURATE INFORMATION IS BEING RELAYED. If the owner of the transcription company had to type this work, trust me something would be addressed with the dictator. Speak up about this because after all you are the one responsible for producing the report.
Interesting and typical. Accept responsibility for nothing
He's a loser
There's always a reason. The question is is whether people are willing to take responsibility.
and what the heck does "variate" mean?
love and responsibility are sure left out of your assessment.
x
It's your responsibility to give them their documents on disk/CD!
nm
I was responding to the post above asking if it was our responsibility to know the accounts we are w
nm
bushies? Advocating personal responsibility
for one's actions is NOT a political party issue - it is a common sense issue!!! If bashing dishonesty and laziness offends you, then stay off this board. Sounds to me you are the same type of person this lazy slob is.
I would take responsibility for my actions and I would not call citizens of the country
criminals if there is no evidence to hold them and I personally have no evidence to present to the law to hold them.  I am not one for the spotlight even without grieving for the loss of my child.  I certainly would not get up on world-wide TV and insult the people conducting the search and investigation for my missing child.  And I would not be in the frame of mind to get all made up with glitter eye makeup and false eyelashes to tell other countries not to accept "criminals" who the legal system did not have evidence to hold.  She is a loon. 
Do little kids like caramel? My big kids won't even eat it! We make the basic Baker's chocolat
s
These knee jerk bleeding heart liberals could not take responsibility for their
actions if it hit them in the face as it did with Mrs. Twitty.  The Arubans are sick and tired of her and frankly so am I.  Wash the makeup off your face, take off the false eyelashes and go grieve for your daughter.
I never said you shouldn't have kids! Feeling guilty? I asked WHY you had kids.
You clearly stated in your post that you ship the kids off to camp all day, and they're TIRED AT NIGHT!!  You know exactly what you said.  You said it as a PERK - AS IN GREAT! They're gone all day, it wears them out, and so I shovel dinner in their mouths and off to bed!  You can try to paint it any way you want, but YOU SAID IT.  Again, I only hope your kids never hear you speak that way or write that way. Shame on you.  Why have kids at all?  Just another parent who has them, gets rid of them for day AND night, BRAGS ABOUT IT, and then calls ME wicked!  Give me a break!  Camp is fine - its WHAT YOU SAID AND YOU KNOW IT.  Your own words showed your heart. Period.
Kids are demanding and so is MT work. My question is how CAN you do this with kids, rather than how
When you have two young kids, 11 months apart, (like I stated they are now 4 and 5) and have been doing this since they were born with no help from their father and no family around, YES, the kids get neglected. Part time might work but living on one salary, part time, is not an option. How can you possible tell me that anyone with two young kids can stay at home and work a full-time, 8-hour shift, and still give their kids the attention they NEED. I dont care how good you are at multitasking and how great your organizational skills are. It is a very difficult thing to do. And I am offended by your post making it sound as if it is easy to do.

I do agree that it can depend on how well your kids behave and how well they are able to play on their own. But my kids were not able to play well on their own. They needed constant attention.

So please take the time to realize that there are people out there in different situations than your own.

Reading our posts should help you to understand that everyone has a different situation. I believe everyone should have the right to shares their experiences as it might benefit the original poster in her questions and concerns.

I dont think anyone should be bashed for taking the time out to write about their experiences. I dont usually come on here to argue but you really ticked me off with your post. And try reading the post correctly. I said next time around I would have put them in day care. What I DID do with them was set them up to an activity like art or put on a movie for them. Geez.
Stayed "because of the kids?" I say "leave because of the kids"
You're in no position to buy right now. Keep saving, keep paying down your bills, and for heaven's sake get rid of that dead weight of a BF you're living with. You can do better.
So, should I return the $75 (x2 kids) in music cards I got the kids for x-mas...sm
My son has been telling me about free music sites and I was very leary.  How do they skirt the law Radguy?
I don't have kids, but my Mom was from the "old school," and still had everyone, kids inclu

call her by her first name.  The little neighbor girl next door from the time she could speak called her Aggie (my mom's first name), and they were great buddies until the day my mom pased away. 


I don't think there really is much in a name, but more in the respect you are given and the way you are treated.   Personally, I kind of cringe inside when someone calls me Ms. Anything or God forbid, "maam" (makes me feel like Methuselah!) ... I'm always just plain Merrie.  :-)


But, as someone pointed out, to each his own.  If you want to be addressed a certain way, you have that right, and people should respect that.  I'm glad you corrected the child ... hope it "sticks."    


Please do not simply give up, kids or no kids!
Talk with a professional. This can be worked through if he really puts forth the effort and you participate. The right counseling can truly make your marriage even better than it was before, if BOTH parties are willing to be honest. Give it a try. Nothing to lose at this point and everything to gain!
No I said thank God I do not have kids
I think the wrong point is being taken here. Yes he does not worry about money and is used to that. I am afraid of not making ends meet if I stop working my day job and I refuse to stop working either MT jobs as we all know it takes a lot of education to make it.
I am my kids mom

My children are lucky to have their mother taking care of them, not a stranger.  I work my butt of taking care of my kids and have made many sacrifices to be able to live this life of working PT and being a full time mother.  I know that I am my kids mom. 


I know that it must be hard for you to look at your kids and tell them that you don't want them to be with you everyday.  The sacrifices could be made. 


Thank God you have no kids. NM
x
How much can you get done with 2 kids?
I haven't done transcription for a few years and would like to get back in. My question is--if you don't mind me asking--how many lines a week can you get done with kids? Is 1000 reasonable or way out there? I have 5 kids, but 3 of them will be in school during the day and the other two nap...any advice?
For kids
Tacos, as son to work and daughter off too, and me and hubby home made wedding soup, ummm ummm good, and sweet italian sausage on hard rolls, not stale, just good.
28 WF, M, 2 kids. nm
nm
Kids come first for both of us, then each other, I don't think I'd want a man who
and catering to me constantly. I like the fact that he does all the cooking, and most of the grocery shopping and gets me things I like w/o me having to ask him to buy them. I do the same for him. We don't get much alone time but enjoy what time we do get together. My man does a lot other men don't but doesn't act like a doormat either.
Same here... kids come first, then each other. sm
Our kids are still at home, and the kids come first. I've seen lots of other parents who put themselves/each other first, and the kids always seem to be second thoughts to them. That's not how it works in our family. We're all equally important, but the kids' needs come first. If I only have $30 and we all need shoes, the kids get them first. I wouldn't have it any other way.
How old are the kids?nm

We have three kids.
x
DH does his own. So do the kids.

I used to have Mount Everest on the basement floor every single day and then I just got fed up and stopped doing laundry except for my own and household items, i.e., towels, etc. Half of the pile was clean stuff that I had folded and put in the kids' rooms that they just put back in the pile when they "cleaned" their rooms.


It took them a while to adjust, but the youngest was 8 and the older ones were 12 and 17 and I left their stuff in the mountain until they realized that they couild actually work the washing machine AND the dryer. They also know if they put the washer on the extra small cycle for only one pair of pants, one shirt, one pair of socks and one pair of underwear for themselves, and I actually find it, it gets hauled out of the washer and thrown back on the pile wet.


And don't even think about not scraping AND rinsing your plate. You won't get fed.


hee hee


I


yep and even KIDS..........nm
xx
How many kids do you have?
x
My kids are now in their mid-20's and
we always had them save their money. I'd give them $20 of their paychecks and put the rest in high-interest CD's for them.

My son recently used the money from his childhood savings as a downpayment on his house.

My daughter is using hers to pay off her student loans from college.

They are now very responsible savers/investors.

Teach them young. It's a great learning experience that can be applied to the rest of their lives.
We pay our kids...
to watch the baby, but it works like this. They are 14 and 16 and the "baby" is 4. They watch her for more than 2 hours, they get $6 an hour. Those first 2 hours are considered just being part of our family.
It would be the end of it for me. Not something I would want as an example for the kids, either.
x
Do you have kids?
x
Your kids will be gone before you know it.

sound like an experienced MT and I'm sure if something happens to the job you have, you can find another one with no problem.  And there are ALWAYS hospital jobs open.  When the time comes that you need it, a job will be there.  Don't stress out over it and enjoy the time you have with your family.  That time goes by so fast.  We really are lucky or blessed or whatever you want to call it to be able to do what so many people would love to do - bring in some income and still stay home with our families.  MT has served me well over the years.  I never tried to work with little babies or toddlers, but have ever since they got a little older.   AND - so many kids are own their own between the time that school is out when a parent gets home.  I saw my kids' friends through middle school and high school just run wild after school, cause there was no one to know they weren't home or to even care.  I realize my kids would have been running with them if I had been at work - and I'm glad I was at home!


I have kids to think about
I'm a single mom. No way am I dragging my kids around the country constantly for any job.
Yes, I do just like most have kids but
I used to work in an office and do not let them or others interfere with my working. It is called teaching your kids, I believe. Same works for all outsiders I know. Oh, for your info, I mostly was telling the person above how to save on costs (they mentioned about how much more it cost working from home, things you can take off on taxes and the like. I saw nothing wrong with it myself. Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?
Sorry kids?! You are QA?