very sad

I just finally got divorced after 7 years.  When you're with an abuser, most of the time they belittle you to the point you think you're worthless and can't make it on your own (because they tell you so).  Like the poster said, it's a constant fear of if I say anything wrong, if I lead on like I want to leave, it's trouble.  I don't know how this spouse you alluded to is, but it's best not to confront these things head-on.  Talk with the woman in private if anything.  Every time my ex was confronted, it was worse for me.  I took his anger from everything that day, including those meaning me well, who would say something to him.

In sum, we stay because there's something wrong emotionally with us, that is, low self-esteem or thinking we deserve that, and a complete fear of what would happen if we ever got the courage to leave.  I, too, have women like these in my prayers daily.

• To those who are in bad marriages - .
  • bad marriage - I hear ya
    • OOPS!!! - I hear ya
  • been there - kps
    • very sad - and very true

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