Anon poster, do you have any idea...
Posted By: Hayseed on 2007-06-20
In Reply to: What would really be tempting . . . - (sm)
HOW HILARIOUS THAT WAS?! Oh my god! That post is truly a hidden jewel and I hope others read it!
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I am "juvenile post" poster. "Looney" poster is some
x
To ANON
Thank you.......
To another anon
OK....have a good night....
For anon...
Just for the record, I wasn't calling you names. You don't like my opinion, that's fine. I've read your previous posts though, and I don't think some of these other posters have. I was NOT calling you a weird lady, I was stating that to a 6-year-old boy you are some weird lady who is taking his daddy. You and the father were not together long enough for that child to feel any connection to you prior to the marriage, and you have shown nothing but hatred and jealousy toward the child on your weekly posts here. I would (and this is just a guess) imagine you're not all that bonding and loving with the child, so yes...he's not going to think well of you. And I still stand by my belief that a 6-year-old saying I got a slushie and you didn't isn't spiteful or in any way a malacious act. It's a 6-year-old being a 6-year-old.
I agree with anon
Just gradually let the friendship drop. When she wants to see you, tell her you're not available. If she calls to cry on your shoulder, listen for a couple of minutes and then tell her you need to get off the phone. She isn't going to change, so you have to.
BTW, someone below mentioned a friend using the fact that she is bipolar to excuse this kind of behavior. I am bipolar, and while there may be some things I don't handle as well as I would like, I have a steady job, I have been married to the same man for many years, I have a son in college, and my bills are always paid on time. But then, I always take my meds. I may not like the side effects, but I want as "normal" a life as I can have.
Anon - please get help today -
I really don't want to be an alarmist, however, we all read the news and every day there's a report of wife who disappears (or is killed by her husband.) If (and this is a big IF) he is getting worse and IF you feel threatened by his behavior - get help! Look in the white pages for social services and find a woman's help group. Only you can tell if he's getting angry and if you're frightened. If I were frightened in any way by my husband or his behavior I'd be out of there! We cannot give you any other advice than to seek advice in your community before it's too late. Again, to reiterate and make my point, it really sounds like he's into porn. There's many types of porn from the mild Playboy type to the really ugly violent porn! I hear that it becomes addicting to some people and, if that is the case here, I would seek help immediately!
So, Anon, be your own Best Friend...
and do what you know you need to do. We've all given you good advice here. There is free legal aid and counseling available all over the country, big towns and small. Act in your own best interests. Pretend that your best friend is being abused in this manner and look up the info for "her". For some reason you are reticent to do this. Are you afraid you cannot make it on your own? Are you afraid that he'll come after you? Do you think that the marriage can be saved? Do what Ann Landers always says "think about whether your life would be better or worse without him in it". If you think that it would be better without him in it then you need to make a decision to get the help you need. Don't tell him what you're thinking about doing. Don't let him find out you're making copies of necessary paperwork. This is about YOU and YOUR needs (necessities really). BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND! (Sorry about yelling - just trying to get through to you!)
Do you have kids anon?
I agree spanking should be kept to a minimum, but sometimes with younger kids it is necessary imo. When my oldest was 3 or 4 I had my cart full of groceries and my hands full and told him to stay right by my side and hold onto the cart when we cross the parking lot. He ran right out into traffic! I spanked him right there in the parking lot because I wanted him to remember to NEVER do that again. I also talked with him about once we were in the car, but some situations call for spanking imo.
Some parents never spank their kids, and good for them, but if a parent wants to smack a kid on the butt sometimes that is their business. I don't like spanking too much though because it does send a message of violence and fear, but sometimes fear is the only thing that gets through their thick skulls! I think you should give a warning first normally and not hit out of your own need to vent, but to get a message across to the child. Plus, some kids are such spoiled brats that their parents should spank. Overindulgence is also a form of abuse and will only harm the child in the longrun. So I do have mixed feelings on it, but I don't think it's fair to say that parents should never spank their kids.
reply to Anon sm
I can see where you are coming from but there is a simple answer - change the channel. There is plenty out there for everyone. I get sick of the ugliness myself but it pays the bills for the stations and it amuses small minds. You have to have a bigger set of values and flip the channel, change the station, put on some nice music, read something positive, take a walk, etc. There is an old song with the lyrics, "You gotta accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative and don't mess with Mister In-between." It's all out there, you don't have to pay attention to it or you will be just like "them."
I agree with anon
He seems to just be content and getting too comfy, maybe mix it up a bit. Make sure you have eye contact with him when you are speaking to him. My hubby's personality is also kind of bully-ish and tends to come across that way, especially when he is grumpy after working all day, just like I am. I tend to take care of the house, 4 kids, the animals, etc. and work full time, so I am grumpy as well. I make sure that we get a hug in and an "I love you" daily and that seems to help. The more I have taken to doing this, the more relaxed things are in the house. Try to get an hour alone every week for just the two of you. My hubby and I make sure we get 15 minutes to talk about our day every day. Try not to take offense of what he is doing, just try something different. It sounds like your in a rut.
I did it - anon from yesterday (sm)
It's all reported and official. Now I don't feel so alone. I don't want to get into a big discussion on here in case he is checking to see if I posted anything...but it's all documented by the right people and they have my back. Starting my kids in counselling there as well. I feel my backbone growing back :-) If you have replies please reply to the orginal post below...don't want it to be right up top again, just in case. Thanks for all the words of wisdom and encouragement yesterday.
i care anon,
and i am sure many others do to, but don't know how to help. i never read your previous post below until now. difficult times cause us to grow personally and adds to our character. nothing was ever gained (or made easier) by giving up. you have to hang in there. i really don't have much to offer either, except to suggest that you go the emergency room for treatment. Worry about the cost later. there are so many sources of help available, social services, etc, pantries, shelters, help phone lines. Your true source of help is God above. Learn about him, pray, devote your life to him. call a minister. I would suggest to speak to someone at the church of Christ; ask for spiritual counseling. There are many who would love the opportunity to help. i wish you the best.
I care too, anon!
Please contact me by e-mail if you just need someone to talk to....or someone to listen to you. My heart goes out to you. We are all very concerned about you and care very much, but the anonymity of this board is frustrating. We can't reach out and hug you like we would like to! Please know that we do still care and think about you often!
Thank you for responding, sm and anon...
I didn't know about not having to pay those fees. This time I really did some homework as far as the dealer's list price versus MRSP, etc. The confidence thing needs work, though. My last 3 cars lasted 10 years, so I don't get a lot of practice with this.
Yes, like I said, by all means go to Al-Anon. sm
You work the Al-Anon program for yourself and not for the alcoholic. You'll be more than glad you did. Not to necessarily save your marriage, but to save YOURSELF.
I'd prefer to stay mainly anon except to say
I recently relocated to Texas (I have a few co-workers/friends that visit these boards and I really don't want them to know about my daughter's situation, it's rather embarassing to me).
I'm very angered with the school system. Not just this situation but also the special ed stuff going on with my son. The district my kids are in seems too busy to really want to deal with the parent. That's why I know if I marched down there tomorrow about my daughter's punishment, I'd get nowhere but have a headache. It's just not worth it to me right now, as I'm so very busy and with the holidays, it all stinks, ya know.
Thanks for listening.
Hey anon - I posted above but will just say a line here
Not calling Animal Control because they really are not cruel to their dog. Actually I think the dog should say and Animal Control should take them away. HA HA. Dogs not tied up and every once in awhile (every other day) it gets loose and they go running down the road yelling after it. Why they even have a dog I don't understand. Anyway...they are not cruel to it, they feed it, pay attention to it and it goes in their house at night to sleep. They are just fools that don't have any consideration for their neighbors and giving their neigbors some peace and quiet, but thanks for your post. Bout a year ago at a different location we had to call animal control. Neighbors at another place took off for 2 weeks and left their dog alone. We had to have PD come to see if something didn't happen to them inside the house. Come to find out those flaming imbilci!es went on a vacation and didn't make any arrangements for their dog. They had a freind look in but the friend showed up twice in two weeks. We offered them free pet sitting if they were planning to go away again.
Anon said 'stupider' is NOT EVEN a word.
IT IS A WORD, BOTH can be used!
Can't you even read, go back and read her post!
Well, I am European and I use British English, where English originated.
There are a lot of people who say that American English is not even English!
Glad to burst your bubble!
You are the stupidest!
not poster you responded to but that poster has
everyone with different opinions is allowed to post here and poster said they were making a contribution in the name of pro-peace....give that poster a break please....
True Anon, but Christ is being removed out of everything and that isn't right either.
t
Calling AA will do you no good. You need to call Al-Anon.
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Attention: Anon....website for stepmoms
Anon,
I read your post about your stepson. I just wanted to let you know that I belong to a wonderful website that allows stepmoms to talk about their issues, give advice, share positives thoughts, vent, etc. I have learned a lot from the wonderful ladies on there. Here is the website if your are interested.
www.stepsforstepmothers.com
thank you, anon. And this, Philly, is why your posts are inappropriate.
nm
Nobody loves you when you're down - anon from a few days ago (sm)
So after telling my story and getting some really nice encouragement from some people and getting bashed by others, and having friends and church leaders encourage me to report all that was going on in my home, I have the sinking feeling that once I did what I was told to do it was like, "good luck with that." I can't get any guarantees or promises from anyone I have talked to yet. I am worse off than I was before and scared to death.
To anon..She was trying to explain to the rest of us in simple terms...sm
how mares foal, bkz most of us don't have the opportunity to see that. You don't even know how many horses and other animals Hayseed has and cares for every day!
I suggest you apologize immediately.  Cat
Are you the Anon who was worried abt possibly violence or hubby taking your kids? m
Best of luck to you for taking the steps to change your life. I wish you well.
BAD idea! Terribly BAD idea!
This could not be worse of any idea. People need to worry about their own bodies, not what other women do! This is supposed to be the land of the free, but people are trying to turn it into the "the land of the free as long as you agree with me." It's a medical procedure and no one else's business period! For some women, it's a hard enough decision to make without having other people tell them how they should do it!
If you do not believe in abortion...great, don't have one, but mind your own business and leave other people alone that need/want to have one! Again, it's none of your business what someone else does.
I don't have any children and don't want any. While I always use birth control, that's not 100%, and if it failed, I certainly would get an abortion without hesitation. I much rather have women get abortions than bring a child into the world that they don't want and mistreat or that they can't pay for and stick ME with paying for it! There are enough leaches out there having kid after kid they can't pay for, and we tax payers are footing the bill. Enough is enough already!
How about all you people that but your nose into other people's business and don't want these women to have abortions pay my share of taxes too since you don't mind paying for all of these unwanted children!
ya got that right! Poster DOES know or else she
She is 54 after all.............not a baby, not a young adult/teen who really needs guidance.
She knows this is DEAD wrong but appears to be *seeking* something from all of us, as she said she was posting *in a safe place*............meaning here on the forum.
We know right from wrong from FIVE YEARS OLD on..........she knows what she is doing is most wrong/incorrect.
I just think she is craving attention, personally......... 
I will go along with the poster below who --sm
said she was *dressed*. Actually quite a personal question and no one else's business what I wear or when. I notice you didn't answer your own question, either.
If it is the same poster, she is only doing sm
400 lines in 8 hours. I guess anything is better than that. That isn't even minimum wage. If it is her, then she definitely needs a new career. 400 lines in 8 hours is ridiculous. I do 400 lines an hour. These career is only for the hardy ones.
this has nothing to do with what the poster is asking....
nm
The poster was right....
you can't change your dad, just stay happy. But, you could invite your parents to go to church with your family - if they say no, just tell them the invitation is open at any time. You could also just cheerfully mention to your Dad that you saw such and such a job in the newspaper and thought it was something he might be interested in looking into.
You're wise enough to know you can't change another person, but you can give him a little encouragement - plant a seed and see if it grows.
Happy Trails to you.
But you would have if you could have, and above poster did try (sm)
So why are you both saying parents don't owe their kids help with getting through college? Poster A tried to help hers and jlynn would have helped hers if she could.
As the poster below said...if you are..
having a tough time making it financially, maybe there are better job choices out there for you. My point was that most people who whine about having no money usually have the brand new car or two and the payments, a huge mortgage, the latest tech gear, etc. We have a lot of nice things, all paid for, but we took our time getting them. We save where we can, but we aren't letting gas prices or grocery prices change our lifestyle that much and the reason we can do that is because we only have a mortgage to pay. We have made a decision that whatever we want to buy we will either save and pay cash for or charge it and pay it off the next month. As you get older you realize stuff is just stuff, it comes and goes, and the less you can get by on the better.
PS! The poster below was right about UTI's -
I lost my previous cat (a 4-year-old male) to acute kidney failure brought on by an obstructed urinary tract. In addition to being a male, which put him at higher risk, he was also a Persian, which get this more frequently than other breeds), and he ate ONLY dry cat food. Just would not touch any kind of wet food. Although I normally only fed him high-quality food by Royal Canin, I also made the mistake of letting him have Meow-Mix as a treat occasionally, for a change. That brand has apparently messed up other cats' pH balances, and I'll always wonder if I killed him by feeding him Meow Mix....
Although he never peed outside his litter box, he did start to pee more often, and in less and less amounts. It had been happening very gradually over about a week, and at the time I hadn't really noticed it. It was only in retrospect that I remembered... AFTER it was too late. Even though he was nearly dead when he was brought in, the emergency after-hours vet clinic saved his life the first time, and for a month he was completely back to normal! But then, overnight, it came back, and the next morning I found him lying in his litter box (another warning sign!) The second time at the vet's, they said the toxins from the first episode the month before had backed up into his system and basically destroyed his kidneys, so at that point I had him put to sleep.
So, long story short, especially with a male cat, don't take any chances, and be sure to have your vet check him out. Be sure he's eating at least SOME canned (wet) cat food, and if possible, it might be wise to eliminate dry food altogether. If you do feed dry food, be sure it's a top-quality brand (with NO ingredients from China!)
Once again, good luck and best wishes!
I'm poster from above... (it's possible)
You know the spots you see in pictures sometimes? You think it's sunlight or whatever... Well we took a family pic (SIL took the pic) and there was a huge spot. My son told me he learned about Spirit Orbs at school. Well, I think the Orb was my mother. I'm sorry, but it just seemed weird to me that this would appear in this manner. We lost my Mom about 2 years ago. The kids were very attached to her. She's here in spirit; my son said I think that Orb is MeMe (that's what they called her).
Also, my son (he's 14) had a dream right after her death that she saw my Mom (looked like me) and my Dad (looked like my brother) dancing. He said they looked young and MeMe told him "don't worry, I'm in good hands." My Dad died about 13 years ago (my son was only 5 months old). So, you see, kids deal and see things different.
Your son probably does see images or what he perceives as ghosts and it frightens him because he is so young.
The sleeping arrangements in your household is your business. Whatever works. I used to sleep with my Mom when my Dad worked nights, and I was probably in junior high at the time. My Dad worked shift work. 
The above poster is right
My brother went through this. He had to take half of his wife's credit card debt. But what you can do is contact the credit card company, after the divorce is final, and ask how much they are willing to settle the account for. He settled a 14,000 credit care bill for 9,000, if he paid it within 10 days of making the agreement with them. His wife and her attorney were pretty mad, but there was nothing they could do. She kept wanting him to just give her the money and let her pay the bill, she probably already knew what they were going to settle for and thought she could pocket the 5000.00. The credit card company showed the account as paid in full satisfactorily. Assets will be split including any pensions, 401K, etc., as well as cars, boats, property, any of that stuff. You can trade off on things, for instance not touch his 401K if you get _____?? and so on.
As for the kids, there will be a set visitation schedule which you both work out and the court approves of. If he doesn't follow it or if he doesn't return the kids, than he is in contempt of court. If there are problems during the divorce, the court will set up a schedule for visitations during that period if needed.
One more tip I learned. You want the best attorney you can get. If you don't know any, ask a cop or a few if you can. LOL, they know who the good ones are and who they would call if they needed one. They're in court and around the courthouse and know how things happen. Ask more than one person and get some opinions before you retain a lawyer. It sounds like you already know he's not going to be nice about this. Don't be overly nice about it either or he'll try to take advantage.
I don't think the poster is looking for
Family friendly. She went to "Couples" Negril. Sandals and Beaches are great if you don't mind family vacations.
lol actually i said it under the first poster!
because like you i work a lot and sometimes can only catch shows once in awhile... THe office is one that i love but dont get to watch often enough cause of work.
it is so up my alley of humor. but then again im easily amused.
I hate not following every week though you know. i never thought about renting seasons or anything cause i definitely dont have an extended period of time to just sit and watch TV... too much other stuff to be doing but you are totally right, it's a good one!!!
I will ask you as I did another poster above
I know for a fact your 401K probably very much dinged along with the rest of investments unless it is a bank 401K in which there are no problems there. Having 50K in the bank is ok and like you I am 100% debt free (except for my home). Our family was close to the working poor when I was growing up and did not even own a car. I never knew we were that close to poverty, though. I have only lived in my new home around 5 years now and already have it from over 200,000 to down under 90,000 so now a big majority of the payment going not just on interest. I was heading towards danger when I financed at first with interest only. Learned a lesson real fast with that and refinanced to what I call real payments. With my being independent now I am planning to see how to set up automatic payments to the IRS so that will go straight there every so many months and will not miss it.
The poster below just does not get it
My father took out a policy on his work site in the 50s. There were only 2 children that belonged to him, my brother and myself. We were young children in the 50s. No one had any names of people we were to marry in the future, no names of grandchildren to be born in the future. Gosh, he was not psychic. He was married to my stepmom sometime in the 50s, I don’t know when but the stepmom had died 2 years before my father. My brother married (before his death in 1973), had 2 children. When my father died in 2004 the insurance company had names of my brother, his children's names, their last known address, somewhere in Knoxville, I had never visited there so had no addresses. I gave them the information I knew. It was up to the insurance company to find anyone this money belonged to. I had remarried and yet they contacted me. My name was not the same name when my father died but hello, they found me. I have no idea why Jan is so bent out of shape over this. She talks like you can just rush in and take what is not yours. I had no dealings with my brother, his family at all for years and years. You know, sometimes people just get lost. I was contacted back in approximately 1987 about getting a nephew out of a jail in Georgia that I knew nothing about. Fast forward to 2004, the year my father died, 17 years later and I had heard nothing else from the SIL, their son, their daughter since 1987. Now I hope Jan can give it a rest.
I would do like the other poster, if sm
you have to use it, just charge something really little and pay it off each month. I had one card lower my credit limit for no reason whatsoever. I was so mad and I would love to close it but won't be doing that. I sure won't charge anything and leg interest build though.
Have to agree with this poster
I'm no Bible thumping holy roller but I do know that if you TRULY understand what it means to be a Christian, you don't go in for the evil aspect of Halloween. I don't think what the pastor said and did is appropriate though. He sounds a little over the top to me.
I have to agree with the poster above
Your sister and BIL did not borrow the quad, simply agreed to bring it to their home because your husband was too tired to unload it. Sounds like the BIL was trying to be nice. Hubby was too tired to unload it, but expected BIL to do it himself at his house???
r u the poster I responded to? well if not.
If you are or are not the poster I responded to - doesn't matter one lick. The poster said *will not shop in any store that sells gay or lesbian items*
Poster did not clarify that they *WOULD shop in a store that sells heterosexual items also being sold to gays* -
You seem to have an interpretation and possibly reading problem which, if you were the poster I was responding to, accounts for the little pea-sized, shut-down to nearly closed-down brain.........
To me it is unbelievable that homophobes still exist in the 21st Century amongst the common folk?
All this spewing about Christmas and Christian way of life and giving and generosity and all this supposed good feelings, yet all I see here is hypocrisy and condemnation for anyone who is not of your faith and for anyone who doesn't interpret any bible the way that some of you do.
God says we are to love each other as we love ourselves - but looking at some of these posts I see SOME really lack loving themselves and become accusers and finger-pointers - and JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED.....
To all who condemn others who do not follow your ways, religion, closed mindedness..... Who died and left you boss of anything?
And lest not forget that Christianity and Catholicism stems from Judeo-Christian teachings.....which when I get involved teaches all about tolerance.
Now, can we all just try to be pleasant and get along and agree that we can all disagree and still be civil to one another or is that task far too great?
I agree 100% with the poster below - also...
You do not want to be his second choice. Either he is free from this other woman and available to date you in a proper manner or he is not. Him saying *things are not working out* is SO typical for someone who wants to play the field and still have the security of someone else. He has been with her 7 years, is not happy, and has not moved on??? You deserve so much better and do not need someone like him. Let sleeping dogs lie!!! 
New poster or not, you are rude. nm
m
No, did not mean original poster...
I was referring to the poster who stated she was certain she would be in Heaven. I don't know how she could tell someone that because try as I may, I don't know that I will pass the test. I understand saying things like that are to comfort the grieving person, but I also think we may be held accountable for giving false hope like that, but then again there are a lot of things we just won't know until it is time to know them. To the original poster, I do feel so badly for you and hope that you find the comfort you need in this trying time. I'm sure you are questioning God and that is fine too, just remember he has a plan for everything.
You know what the poster meant
by spelling it wrong and who really cares. There is always someone out there to nit pick. GEEZ
SHE?...poster was right on the assuming
I'm with the poster below....what's your husband
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