Get this, older aunt of mine, DIL called and said if anything happens
Posted By: Works both ways on 2008-02-07
In Reply to: These stories are just AWFUL. :( - Hayseed
to her- can you give me a call, in other words when she dies. This aunt is also great aunt to my son- I asked the DIL why don't you go to see her now (she is in middle 80s)- always an excuse, no car, no this, no that. She lives driving distance, about 170 miles from here. Just pitiful is all I can say- I visit her every 3-4 months and call her weekly.
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My aunt married a guy 28 years older
than her with 4 children, 2 older than her. (his 1st wife died when their youngest was 4, 10 years previously). They were married for 37 years, had 2 kids of their own, and everything worked for them, marired until he died. She and his family got along great, her parents on the other hand, had a rough time dealing with it until their 1st child was born.
Mine was caught at an older age,
unlike the listing above and we have so much in common. He makes me laugh and a big love, just want to take a little bite of him. Oh, that is the cougar I guess coming out.
Mine are older now, but I can sooo relate (sm)
You're not overreacting, but when you are married into that type of family you have to pick and choose your battles. I would say your daughter is probably safe, your mil is probably being slow and careful (I hope?) but I would ask her to use some of the ear-protective type "earmuff" looking things that block out sound. It is a thin line to tread because they see nothing wrong with this type of lifestyle when it is the opposite of what you would do. Unfortunately you may have a long battle ahead of you because I have. My children are now 8 and 11 and I have been labelled the "overprotective mother" the whole time. Too bad. I do pick and choose my battles with them but if something is unsafe it is unsafe and they will just have to not like you. What are they gonna do, kick you out of the family? lol - I think not. And they have to be nice to you so they get more baby time - use your leverage, but be fair and try to give a little too. Ask yourself it is is truly dangerous before you react - if it is, then don't allow it.
Well I am an aunt and great aunt
I spend a lot of time with my nieces and nephews. Even though divorced still hear from the in-law niece and nephew. I know that they are all different, their likes and dislikes and do something special with them that entails their likes. Not much money but time. Used to do Christmas crafts with them and the older ones over 21 still remember it and the fun we had. Like I have often said it is not the money you spend but the time and knowing that they like, taking an interest in them. When they were little -- especially my great nephews and niece, they would call and say that they needed some "special time" which meant that they wanted time with just them and so no matter what I would have going on I always had them over. I also never broke a promise or a committment to them unless I was on my deathbed and I think that they remember that also. And now that they are older - as am I -- they do more for me -- my 20 year old nephew and his friends took off my paneling and put up sheet rock in my living room, office and kitchen and did not expect pay nothing but lunches and Gator Aid. I tell them aunts are a little special and unique creatures, No matter if a grandparent, foster grandparent, aunt, cousin a lot of these kids just want time spent with them and for you to know them -- it makes them feel special. I am taking my second great nephew to Disneyworld for his graduation -- took his brother to San Francisco. So looking forward to that this summer.
Vet called before and after surgery, and assistant called this
this afternoon. I cant wait to see her. She has only been gone for 1 day and as one lady stated, the house is empty. Working from home, I have become quite attached to her and her to me. Thanks for all the well wishes and Boo Boo Kitty thanks you too !!
I'm older than dirt, too, and older
than the 2 posters below me.
I remember when gas was $.25 a gallon when I got my driver's license and first car.
The first car my dad had was a LaSalle with running boards. After that, he bought all Hudsons and then Ramblers. He never owned a Chevy.
My first car was a ི Chevy, green and White, that my dad paid $12 for (cost of the tag). My uncle gave it to him and was a stick shift. I never drove an automatic until I was 20 and bought my own car with my own money. I paid $1500 for a ྀ Rambler Classic, 4 door (my first 4 door, too) in turquoise blue. My dad was mad because I didn't pick the Navy blue and white stick shift Rambler because it was cheaper.
My allowance was $1.50 a week and to make money, I chauffered all my friends around plus to school and back for $.25 a week.
And, I just turned another year older on Monday. Ugh! Thank heavens, no one in my family wished me HB. I quit counting 20 years ago. 
You aunt....
It sounds like you have tried very hard to look out for your aunt and what is in her best interest. Maybe now that her son has seen that someone is trying more to care for her, he may be NOW aware of just how much he really needs to be doing for her. Sometimes it's hard for a child to admit their parent has become so disabled that they need to be taken care of the way their parents used to take care of them, EVERYDAY! I hope your aunt can find a nice place where you can visit with her but of course, your aunt will always love her son dearly and just wants to be close to him like any parent. I just hope he realizes that.
Elderly Aunt
Kimmie-
You are being extremely overly sensitive. Your aunt is elderly - have patience. Continue to be kind and forgive her for what you perceive as rudeness. Save the hurt feelings for things that are really important. 
Dipper
I would think that your aunt would be proud that
a man who was not a child's biological father would take her, love her and raise as his child, grieve when passes away and refers to her as his daughter. My sister and brother-in-law married when my sister's youngest child was 18 months old. That child is now almost 20 and refers to him as "Dad." Her biological father is alive but the relationship is strained because she had a child out of wedlock. The stepfather, however, loves the child that she had and refers to him as his grandson. 
Your aunt's comment....
''well, the doctors really do not want you to tell them what you think it is or what to do for any ailments.''
I don't understand why you are upset; she was talking about the doctors, not you, and her comment was pretty much right on. Unless I am misunderstanding.
I have some problems, probably fibro or a rheumatoid thing, and am going to doctors now for a workup. I do a LOT of research and I know a lot. But, in my experience so far, if you tell a doctor what you think it is, most will do everything in their power to prove you wrong or will just say no, if they don't think of it first. It's called arrogance and yes a holier than thou attitide.
So I guess I don't understand why this upset you.
What kind of aunt ?
You should have asked my brother about that. He did not talk with me for the last 5 years of his life because I married a black guy. He also decided to keep his children away from me. That was his decision. That was what he wanted. The SIL remarried, took her children away, had no contact with my mother hardly, their maternal grandmother (the mother of her husband, remember), no contact with the great maternal aunt of these children. Now go back and ask again what kind of aunt was I?
My aunt used to vacuum her cats.
She used to vacuum the cats, and they loved it. Plus, it got the dander off.
I thought it was the aunt. I'm confused now.
What did the grandmother do?
My aunt, who is just like my mother, told me
just this past weekend when her son sells his property, she plans to go live close by him and his new wife of about a year. I was kinda taken aback as she is up in years but always, always has been really self-sufficient and wanted to be. She broke her hip a year or so ago, recovered from that but still has slowed her down tremendously. She wants to continue doing her housework, gathering her groceries, etc. while having to use a rolling walker. I visit her out of state at least every 2-3 months and call probably every week. She would be moving to another state but the distance for me to travel to the other 1 is probably about the same distance I travel to see her now. I know in my heart she would never had said nor made this decision had it not been for her feeling the need to do so. My mother, her sister, has been deceased since the early 90s but she has taken me under her wing and now tells others I am her adopted daughter. She is really precious to me and I appreciate her being in my life.
Just read your post and my aunt the other day
was saying exactly what you were saying, was there not a good place that I could go to for a diagnosis on what my problems are. I do not know of a place like this at all. I can self-refer myself to a physician and usually do as I know about as much as the people I run into in the offices. After all my years of typing on all kinds of diseases, treatments and such, I do not need a person say 30 or more years younger than me to explain a diagnosis to me. I am sure I could tell them more than they could tell me. Just went to an urgent care place today for 1 of my problems and refused to weigh- the person taking history said I would have to because they would have to know my weight in order to give medication. I told them most medicines I know come in say 10, 15, 20 mg and I never weigh at any office and I see nephrologist, general, endocrinologist, etc. I refused to weigh, still got to see the physician and guess what, nothing prescribed! I probably have been in the medical field longer than this person on earth. on well, enough venting for the night.
My elderly aunt has just gotten 2 red marks
right under her eyes and she tried to see a physician today but was unable to, any thoughts on what this could be? She says bright red spots under both eyes.
Oh, I'm so sorry. I remember my aunt calling (sm)
to tell my mother that her boss had died. He was like a member of the extended family and the first person whom I knew well to die. I was maybe 11 or 12 and I can remember it like it was yesterday. I can only imagine your pain.
Sounds like you are indeed a Great aunt!
nm
carpal tunnel maybe......my aunt described
xx
I have an aunt that has it and she has to watch her sodium, did your sm
doctor tell you about that? (stay away from high sodium food).
We went to my husband's aunt's house once...
and they were having a get together because his uncle was dying of lung cancer. In rolls his three sisters and brother, all with their oxygen tanks and cannulas that they would have to take off to have their cigarettes. I found it fairly ironic and that is when I decided to quit smoking. Not the cancer, not the emphysema, but the ridiculousness of seeing people who can't breath because of smoking taking off what helps them to breath so that they can smoke. At any rate, I am not sure that I really have a point, just something that is interesting to me.
Did you at least show concern for her aunt?
See, when I read this, the first thing that jumped out was this woman had an aunt IN THE HOSPITAL HAVING TESTS DONE.
I hope while you were in the process of berating her grasp of the fine art of pronouncing various words that you at least inquired as to the welfare of her aunt.
I'm sure the woman had more on her mind under these circumstances than making sure she cleaned up her grammatical skills.
My aunt reported a Walmart employee
who left the ladies' room without washing her hands.
My aunt, kids grandmother, dads Mom.
Sorry for the confusion.
My aunt is elderly but her husband used to drink
This was the love of her life and they had a child together. They both worked, lived with her mother to help her out on bills after her husband died and everything except his drinking went ok. After finding him in ditches, getting DUIs, passing out and the like, nothing worked. After probably 20 something years my aunt divorced him because she knew he probably would kill himself, kill someone else or something horrible. It wasn’t that she didn’t love him but just could not live like that. That was over 40-50 years ago. She still speaks of him fondly (he died in another state in a ditch but had her phone number in his pocket) but I am sure she thought she always made the right decision. Myself, I just would not want to go through that, too much else to keep me busy. Thank goodness no children for you- would be really hard to subject a child to that.
Going to my aunt & uncle's house as usual
My husband, my parents, and I all drive down to my aunt and uncle's house every year. We usually bring something like pumpkin and/or apple pie.
You are comparing your aunt's boss to someone's child?
Sorry, just an odd response. There is nothing that compares to the loss of one's child. My heart goes out to the other poster.
Don't throw me down, Clark. I won't, Aunt Bethany
Geezus, you couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
(Christmas Vacation)
My aunt went in the hospital for heart problems...sm
While in there they posted a sign on the door that said contagious or something to that effect. Well the family was like what does she have. The nurse said MRSA. They were like what? She has no symptoms. So later the doctor came in and explained she was a CARRIER of MRSA. She herself would never get symptoms of it cause she was immune due to being a carrier. But she can pass it on. I had never heard of this before and still don't understand it completely. It happened though.
Your aunt is a wise woman, and she is a strong person
for being a Pastor's wife. For some reason, Pastors seem to be the most difficult to understand about how to be sensitive to people, when it is their job to do so. No offense to pastors and to my husband. But when I loved him best when he delivered pizza and Sunday mornings I still feel put off. And those are the mornings I am probably the most up in arms about this control issue. I dont think that is what the Bible meant either. Thanks for your comment. Your aunt also sounds like she was a great example to women and men alike as the pastor's wife. :)
My husband's Aunt Delores, because she always tells everyone she loves them (nm)
x
Both my mom and aunt have had very good success with it. My mom, smoker for over 40 years, quit cold
turkey and says Chantix is the best drug out there - she tried everything!
I see that there are mixed feelings about this drug as with all drugs. Works for some and doesn't work that well with others. Sorry to hear about their experience!
Guess talking with dying aunt over daughter just shouldn’t happen
Yes I did say disconnect (have thought about that for some time just due to the excessive amount spent on land phone though and daughter suggested disconnecting also to save $$$) the fuss was the fact about others assumming something. I took what I considered to be the more important of the 2 calls- basically I talk with the daughter every week several times and the aunt - well what would most do?
You're aunt is bully, plain and simple and I would just stop visiting.
but I will tell you this, most mothers are going to voice their opinions to their kids about how they did things compared to out YOU do things. I think it's in the mother by-laws somewhere. :) My mother constantly tells me I'm too soft with my kids and I am. My mother was a strict disciplinarian similar to your aunt when I was a kid. Spankings were routine and generally with the belt or the fly swatter or any other object handy. That's why I'm so soft.
I let me mother know early on after I became a mother, that my kids are MY KIDS. She can give me advice and I'll always listen, but I will make the final decision on how and when to discipline my children and I and ONLY I (and DH too of course) will dole out any discipline necessary. Nobody else has permission to spank my children, EVER!
My mom and I get along pretty good now. I accept that she will be nosy and pushy and she accepts that I will ignore her and not call for a few days when she gets on my nerves.
I would just suggest being honest with your aunt and letting her know that you think you're a good mother, your DH thinks your a good mother and that your kids are doing fine and behave fine and if she doesn't think so, then she doesn't need to see the kids.
If you are 30 or older.
If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill BOTH ways.. yadda, yadda, yadda.
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in he*ll I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a dam n Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the dam n library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the dam n record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!
And talk of about hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You had to steal it from your brother or bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! Those were your options!
We didn't have fancy c rap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Play Station video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "asteroids" and the graphics sucked a$$! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just SC rewed!
Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!
You were sc rewed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your a$$ and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! W e had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-s!
And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up. We had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire ... Imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupi*d JiffyPop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idio*t.
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled.
You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!
Regards,
The over 30 Crowd
I am older than most and what I would do
is I probably would not like the idea 1 bit about his growing hay, I believe you said, on her property. Surely there would be another place besides her's that he could do this. In my last marriage, 2 women (1 was my boss at that time) had affairs with my husband. Both women were welcomed into my home, big mistake and 1 a neighbor, 1 an ex-boss. This just does not smell like a good situation to me at all because first of all you have concerns up front. You should basically listen to your inner self. If it seems wrong, usually is. I would not befriend. Remember doing that for my new boss in town, visited in her home, shared my hubby's knowledge of things to fix around the home with her and pretty soon even the husband.
Older than you and what I think
I have been married now for close to 10 years and still honeymooning so I just do not get 2 years and already looking but having said that, he probably will continue to do this. I would not mind so much his looking but probably might take it further with maybe meeting up with someone? Your spending a night away would do nothing for the relationship- this would just give him more time to spend on the computer and he would. There are a lot of men who like porn but if it is something that would bother you, cut your losses while you can because he probably would not change- after 2 years of marriage and already looking?
Probably older. LOL s/m
We have "Grapes of Wrath" in our movie library. When I'm feeling down about the economy, I get it out and watch it. I pray to God we don't see anything like that again but I fear we are headed in that direction.
LOL! i know i'm getting older! sm
usually i'm right on time. i know exactly when i'm going to start. i know exactly when i'm ovulating. sometimes i think i'll be glad to go through the change and not deal with this any more. but i know going through the change isn't fun either.
i did start, finally. figures, once i buy the test, i start! haha!
merry christmas everyone
I am and I'm a little older than you.
I am just finishing my first semester back to college after 20 years! OMG, what a shock. But I'm glad I did it and I really like being back in school. Go for it!
or it could be that he was older than God...nm
x
Older than dirt...
No, I just turned 64 in March. My ex said his Lasik did not last and my eyesight was in the 20/400 range, really bad so really glad when I got the Lasik as glasses and contacts just was not doing the job anymore. I know according to the patient cataracts grow at different growths so maybe that is the problem now, at least if that were the case insurance would pay for it and Lasik not.
my older kittie--sm
is a big sissy, named Spike. When the doorbell rings, he climbs under the covers on my bed and stays there long after whoever rang the bell leaves. He is such a scaredy cat!!!
Bet you're not much older than me
I remember all those commercials. Ipana toothpaste. And which toothpaste had Gardol that would bounce baseballs off its force field? LOL And the whiny voice of the little girl in the Shake & Bake commercial - "And Ah heyulped!"  That one drove me crazy!
Remember the Clairol commercials with the beautiful hair? And all the people gathered on the hillside singing "I'd like to buy the world a Coke...." And Herbal Essence shampoo commercials? And what was that shampoo that was in a bottle like a green stem and had a top like a yellow flower? I don't think it was Herbal Essence.
See? You're not the only one!
He probably will understand when he is older.....
maybe you can plan something special for him this weekend to make him (and you) feel a little better. I'm sure you've made the right decision. I have 2 boys and would have decided against the trip, too. Especially with drinking and water. Have a good weekend.
getting older? *ROFL*
You know, the older I get, the more intolerant I become of sm
ignorant people. I don't know why. There just doesn't seem to be much grace in the world anymore. I have a few friends mad at me because I'm "too busy for them." It hurts. I think people just want to be loved and forgiven and understood.
It's so hard to find those traits in people nowadays. Where's the compassion??
Yes, older and wiser, much so
and what you are doing is settling for less, but if that is the life you desire to live, that is your choice. Having a roof over my head means nothing if I am unhappy. I can get my own roof. You may not believe this, but I have the best possible life now at my age and do not mind a moment of my older age, would never ever want to have to relive the years gone by and that is why so many women writing in about their lives. Staying with a man because of children is idiotic to say the least. The kids grow up and leave and you still are in a loveless life? My husband has not changed since marriage and thank God for that. If you think change is coming, hmmm, doubt that. I have the love of my life and the time of my life. My sympathy goes out to all in these unhappy relationships.
Older cats -
I have had a cat start doing this at 14 years of age and another at 16. The vets tended to think they were losing their hearing and also becoming somewhat demented and confused, but that as long as they were happy to let them do their thing. I did just that...You might also feed her any kind of meat baby food or a good canned food to get her interested in eating. If her sense of smell is going it is hard for them to want to eat. You might also add Pedialyte (plain) to her water to make sure she is getting a good amount of electrolytes. Just love her and cherish all the special moments. :-)
VERY interesting! I had an older get get the same - sm
symptoms you describe after a minor procedure under anesthesia (teeth-cleaning). She wobbled around for 2 days, then I took her back. She was very dehydrated, so they gave her a shot of water under the skin. Don't know if that's what helped her, but by the next day she was better, and the day after that she was fine.
LOL! Now that I'm older and more tolerant -sm
I'm not above liking some sweet yellow cornbread with some corn in it. Or even a corn pudding - gasp! ;)
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