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Have you thought that perhaps she is a foster mom or....sm

Posted By: Georgia gal on 2006-11-07
In Reply to: Food Stamps - sm

has taken in kids of relatives that would be in foster care if she didn't take them in? Depending on the situation for the kids, many foster parents do receive food stamps to cover the cost of food for small children.

As a foster parent I don't receive this in my state as I take in older kids; however, my foster kids have always had Medicaid. Several times I've had people make comments from people at the doctors office waiting room or pharmacy about having Medicaid and yet dressing nicely or driving a SUV, but then I tell them these are foster kids without parents and they back down when they realize that I'm not someone ripping off the system.



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Any foster parents out there?
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Bananas Foster
See link for recipe. You don't have to set it on fire for it to be good!
help, foster care

Would someone please help me with this new situation?  I welcome any and all advice.  Today, Sunday, my DH and I will be taking in his 16-1/2-month-old great-nephew for an indefinite period of time.  DH's niece is a drug addict, supposedly bipolar - and I use that term lightly - an all around horrendous parent.  She currently is 29 yrs. old, has 4 kids, oldest is 12 and has lived with niece's mother since she was 5, who recently adopted her.  Others are 2-3/4 yrs, 16-1/2 mos and newest is 11 days old.  We have always had the two youngest on weekends and whenever, kind of like surrogate grandparents for them.  I drew the line at this last one.  I don't want the work involved with a newborn anymore.  Anyway, 4 kids, 3 fathers, 3 biracial kids, new baby tested positive for marijuana at birth.  Just found out 16-month-old did too. 


DCFS stepped in on Thursday, 12/27/07, and niece's mother accepted responsibility for all 3 in order to keep them from being sent off to the Chicago area to foster care.  This is a good 4 hours from us.  The niece, her ex-husband, her current boyfriend and current boyfriend's mother are not allowed to be alone with the kids, nor are they allowed to have the kids at their homes until after a court hearing in 2-4 weeks - no date has been set.  This is due to drug history.  Police have been watching their house for a while and have determined it is a crack house.


Niece's mom called me for help.  I have agreed to take one child.  I prefer the 16-month-old since he has some developmental delay due to drugs and neglect.  I think we can work with him and see some improvement.   She will keep the 2-3/4-year-old and is looking for someone to take the baby.


Do I call DSFS this week and find out what to do legally about this?  Do I offer to testify against niece (these kids are horribly neglected)?  Do I keep my mouth shut and let it play out?  I'm really in a bind here.  I want to do what is best for these kids.  It is breaking my heart to see them so neglected, but would also kill me if they get sent off somewhere.  The two toddlers love their mommy and don't even know other kids don't live like this. 


Also, how do I work with a toddler underfoot?  I can't afford to put him in day care, as closest would be 25 mile trip and about 100.00 a week I think. 


Please respond if you have any experience in this area.  Thanks.


 


 


 


foster care

I refuse to get mean and ugly on this board, so will try to explain instead.
We live in a very small rural community. Even though race should not play a part, in this area it does. There are still many narrow minded people, including those in the DHS and the court system. White, drug addicted women who repeatedly live with unemployed, drug addicted or alcoholic black men and have illegimate babies by each one, are looked down on. They live on $600.00 a month plus Medicaid and Food Stamps, sometimes up to 5 or 6 brothers living with them.

Is it right for the babies? No. It is just a fact of life in some places. The reason they would be sent to Chicago is so they would have a chance at a better life, where biracial children are accepted as the norm.

I don't have a problem with the kids. They are like my own. I have been feeding and clothing them, along with a friend of mine who also frequents this board, since the 2-3/4-year-old was born. Do I really want to raise a baby to adulthood. Not really. Only because I don't think I am young enough or healthy enough to give him the life he deserves. I will do the best I possibly can and get every possible assistance I can to help with his developmental delay, but I would rather his mother get her act together and be a parent. That will never happen. She is almost 30 and listens to no one's advice. At any rate, DCFS may persuade the court to keep the kids together and sent them far away. The only thing I can pray for if that happens is that they get a great set of parents and have a wonderful life. It will break my heart, but would be worth it.

The reason I do not want the newborn is two-fold. She tested positive for drugs at birth. I have no idea what problems may come up with that. I definitely don't think I can do the late night, teething thing again on a full time basis. It was hard enough with the other two. I feel badly for not wanting her, but she has many, many more relatives on her father's side, some of which should help. However, I don't know their situations either.

I'm sorry your post sounded so mean spirited. I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and tell myself you didn't mean it the way I took it.
No, unless of course the foster kids of choice
include the more difficult ones because a lot more money is paid monthly for them. I knew of a couple who took in only the more difficult kids, a bunch at a time and made a killing off these kids, now well off and retired and enjoying live and want nothing to do with any of them. Never did really. Sad.
Just got a foster dog from a local rescue group
Very sweet, but has a bad cough that's been going on for over a week. I've been asking the rescue group if I can take him in to the vet, but they keep saying no. I don't have a job, so I don't have the money to do it myself (I do have the time). I'm certain the rescue group is concerned about money, but this seems unfair to me and the dog. For all I know he could have any number of things wrong. They are telling me it's a cold, and to just wait until he's better before he goes in to be neutered.

What's the right thing to do? What should I tell the group's organizer?

Suggestions?

Thanks.

Sadly they would probably be better off in the foster care system.
x
Sounds like Cedric is in a loving foster home!
Where do you live - that path looks gorgeous!
On vacation I had Bananas Foster french toast. Breakfast buzz! nm
nm
wish I'd thought of that...
EXCELLENT POST!  By far the most intelligent one of the whole thread... to you and MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Just a thought sm
www.tasteofhome.com has recipes for the category "cooking for a crowd".  There are some wonderful recipes there.  They are tested by these wonderful cooks before printed in their magazine.  Their site is pretty user friendly, colorful, and fun.  I love to cook (as well as type) lol! 
That is what I thought
also but some people throw things out, like I just saw this on a television show as the truth and I am saying, hold on.... This is something I have heard for years and I mean years, much longer than most efflux of drug users around now days. Thanks for the information.
Just a thought..............sm
A vet of ours down in Florida suggested this to anyone having this problem. She said to wipe the dog OR cat down with a damp cloth.....now there are wipes in the pet section for this. She said the dander on their hair is causing the reaction and if this is done daily, it will keep them from shedding dander that is causing the allergy. There was a spray you could buy in the pet section to damper their coat and then wipe it down, but the wipes have the lanolin stuff on them now. I buy those and wipe down our cat of 18 years, who my daughter said was NOT causing her stuffy nose......he slept on her bed every night. I didn't find the wipes until a few years ago, but she had moved away to college by then....all stuffiness disappeared.
I thought about that too, but
family court records are sealed and it is in another city with the plantiff listed as the State. Hey, if they want to come get me, it would be another interesting war story and another reason to ask for back child support from the dud to help me get out of jail. huh! Gotta find something to laugh about :)
another thought
Babies for adoption instead.. great but remember there are millions of children in the world who need a family Maybe not a baby but a child nonetheless.

Could you look one of these children in the eye and tell them you don't want them, you want a baby?
Here's a thought for you ....sm
make a donation to a charity in their honor. Most charities will not reveal the amount you donated but will send them a card stating a donation was made. You can give what you're comfortable with... $5, $10, whatever.


When we got married last summer we elected to not receive gifts as we were giving away and selling items that were surplus from merging our 2 separate homes. We did advise that family and friends who desired to do something for us could make a donation to a local children's home and many of them did. We talked to the children's home ahead of time so they'd know what we were doing and they were very appreciative of the generosity that people extended. They sent us a list of who contributed money so we would know who to send thank you cards to (they did this also) but never divulged the amounts given which we didn't want to know anyway. This allowed people who desired to give something to do this and we weren't stuck with extra stuff we didn't need around the house.

LOL - another thought.
All my animal children understand "HEY" and "uh oh" and my favorite "Ok now you're in trouble."

Of course they don't understand English, but they sure remember TONE.

My cats destroyed my leather sofa, too - and yes those late night attacks are hard to prevent. Suggestion: If you can afford it, get an inexsensive couch cover that you can cover the couch with whenever... if anything gets destroyed it will be the cheap cover
Oh, thought you mean like I have done now
with my maiden name and the married ones that is a total of 5 now. Last one, I promise.
lol thought for a sec you were my ex! That's
c
I thought...
It was overall good, made me tear up some when Victor spoke.  Didn't really expect any excitement, think it's too early for Nick to return. I feel for Phyllis (I know...)...but I can't help it...can't wait til next week.....
Another thought!
Back in high school girls like here were likely to get a "swirly." There was one friend (right) who decided that my boyfriend (now my husband for a very long time) was just what she needed - he was older, had a new car, money, took me on nice dates. She did the same stuff and he "fell for it" and we argued and broke up for a couple of days or so over her. She made a bad mistake and taunted me with it at school. She didn't realize that his brother (she didn't know him) and his other brother's girlfriend were listening. They ratted her out. She got mad and tried to intimidate me. She even slapped me! That did it, faster than I could think, I grabbed her hair, dragged her into the girl's bathroom, stuck her head in and FLUSHED. She never bothered anyone else with her boyfriend stealing ways for the rest of high school, although I don't know if that continued on. So, if you have to, go ahead and FLUSH! My grown up daughter is sitting here laughing because she can't believe I would do such a thing. I have become more human to her! I have fond memories of the look on that girl's overly made up Barbie-face with melting mascara and her overly sprayed hairdo clumped up on her head!!
I thought that too but.....

 I also thought with this house the city would be more forgiving of Dh farm stuff parked around then they would in the nicer neighborhoods. 


Another question is, in my neighborhood there have been some nice new brick homes pop up during the 8 years we have lived here.   Directly behind us someone is building a huge Victorian.  It is going to be beautiful.   Would that make our property value go up as well? 


That is exactly what I thought of. Sorry.
a
Just a thought

Adorable boy he is!


Before you invest in the rug, if it is not necessary, you might consider puppy shoes or boots.  They do make some with rubber bottoms if you are creative you might try making some out of the rubber matting, spongey stuff they line cabinet and drawers with, almost like the rubber matting to keep rubs from sliding.  Or you could even get a pair of booties with the anti-skid stuff like they issue at hospitals and make them.   The attached URL has fleece in this but you can get them without.


My friend...mommy of my grandpuppies...had this same issue with thier dogs.  She put little booties on hers and it worked for them.


I thought so too, but
last time I posted the site it must have looked like an ad or something, because it was removed. But it's not my site and I'm not advertising for them; I just think it's really cool that they have a thing where you click boxes with the conditions of your site and it will suggest groundcovers that might work! And then just all the pictures can give you great ideas. My MIL is near the beach, so her soil is sandy and it's very expensive to try to keep grass going. Ones like thyme and some others use almost no water and abolutely no chemicals. Cheap to keep!
Another thought on IBS sm
Do you take a lot of ibuprofen?  My IBS was pinpointed to ibuprofen intake for arthritis. Took about 7 years and 2 colonoscopies to figure that out. I have other medical issues as well, so they didn't really look into ibuprofen at first. Finally, after I had changed jobs, going from inhouse to home transcription due to the stress inhouse, I kept a log of everything I took in for 3 weeks, including meds. I found I had the severe diarrhea bouts (up to 10+ times per day) on the days I took the ibuprofen. My doctor switched me to Relafen for inflammation and darvocet for pain and I probably only have 4 bouts of IBS a year now.
Just a thought...
but if you have been fortunate enough to strike up a more personal relationship with another poster, why not take it to e-mail or phone calls, which would be infinitely more personal and, I would think, much less of a hassle, for both of you.  I think it's great that you've found a lot in common, like your animals, but why set yourselves up for harrassment if you don't have to?
I thought I was the only one......!
This happened to me a few years ago, I would just nod out while driving. Fortunately a slight bump in the road or going up a curb :( would wake me. I had to stop driving for a while of course. It turned out it was a side effect from Prozac I was tried on for situational anxiety/depression. Hope your daughter's friend gets to the bottom of it. It's a very scary feeling.
I always thought...
It wasn't proper to take gifts to the wedding, think I read this in Ms. Manners or something like that.  It's a wedding, not a shower or a party, so no gifts...I think anyway! I'm in the same boat though, having missed the shower and invited to the wedding too.  Also have another wedding a week later, then yet another at the end of September...which I am sure all will have some sort of shower. 
Just a thought

If you have not found a solution, please consider going to the link below, pet peoples place and go to the community tab at top or the dog forum.  It may open to the forum, if so to the left under Browe Forums click start a new discussion. 


I'm not sure what state you are in, but there are some great folks on there that will let you know what the laws are in your area and will let you know pretty quick.  Usually you can call anonimously but in some states you can get in trouble for actually going and stepping in.  As an animal lover I commend you, some people just don't care.


that's a thought but
i don't want to be worrying about head lice. that would be a horrible mess.
I thought about doing it that way too (sm)
Do you keep a chore chart to keep track of payments?
i always thought
that i felt that way because of my catholic upbringing. i always feel that way. guess i'm not alone. right there with you.
Thanks - I thought so too and
how true it is! Life is soooo short in the scheme of things.
Yes but never thought that way, did she have
any symptoms such as mine- the intense rib cage pain? Have never considered it being gallbladder, what are symptoms- oh I have heard some, problems after fatty foods which I do not eat and forgotten other symptoms.
That was my first thought but
afraid I would get bar-b-qued for it. LOL
You know, I thought about that

I was wondering if I could rig something up so that he was suspended from a sling and put wheels on it so that he would just have to move his legs a little bit to move around.


So far things are okay. We got one of those doggie "playpens" that is made of wire and open on the top and put his bed in it. It's roughly about 4' square, roomy for a small dog but he can't move around too much. It was hard tonight hearing him whimper because he could smell what my husband was cooking for dinner and he wanted to be in there where the good smells were.


But I'm trying to remind myself - if we keep him quiet and his ligaments and tendons have a chance to heal a bit, he will be able to move around better. Sometimes it's a choice - healthy or happy? And I need to choose "healthy" for him right now.


That is exactly what I thought also!
Lets see, Dan ??? How soon we forget.
What a sad thought. nm
!
that is a thought
that's a thought. . though daughter had not liked that idea earlier - she just seems content with me having the ashes in my house! I suppose I just need to force her to make some kind of decision. . of course, it is a touchy subject, especially around the holidays... Actually, the ashes in the house do not bother me at all but it makes my fiance uneasy. . .
Oh okay. Thanks-thought
I had heard it was vitamin D. So, zinc will help your hair grow? Nails are no problem for me. They grow fine, just not the hair! It is probably about 2-3 inches below shoulders and won't go any farther
Here's a thought.
Do you think that in school, your daughter may be asking for help a lot? Sometimes if children are nervous or are having a bit of difficulty adjusting to a new situation, they may be a bit more needy in that situation than they are at home. Maybe she's asking the teacher for help when papers have to be put in a folder, or at other times throughout the day. The teacher may be reading that as if she is a child who is not used to doing things for herself, but it could just be her way of adjusting to a new situation and trying to connect with her teacher.

Rather than going in ready to argue, just call the teacher and ask to have a conversation with her to find out how your daughter is doing in school generally.

I can tell you lots of stories about good and bad teachers I've had to deal with over the years. I have to be honest, however. Most of the times when I my first reaction was anger and defensiveness, there was something that I didn't know AND something that the teacher had assumed. It's best to sort that out before getting too ruffled.
On second thought, maybe I see why your
You are argumentive.  I do not treat my cousins the same way I treat my son. 
Thought I was going to have to but
they caved during the meeting and wrote up a new one. Mine was on an M-team. If you've got an S-team it could be harder, but mostly it would depend on what you're actually challenging on it.
I thought I had the one and only and SM

later found out that he was constantly looking and cheating. I finally got to the point where instead of crying and pleading with him and trying to out-do the other gals I simply told him I had neither the time nor the desire to police him anymore and that he was not worth it. 

I hope in your case things work out. I feel for you.


Let me know what you thought
I didn't really like the episode although "Christian" is always great for me to look at. LOL. Next week looks really good.
My first thought! :))))
xx
She might have thought (sm)
people wouldn't understand the difference, which is possible.  It happens all the time to Muslims.  One person does something bad, then next thing you know the entire religion is bad.  I think it's a good reminder.
I thought I was the only one who did that!..
I can't watch it either, makes me tear up!
just a thought
maybe you could get them one of those books that end in "for dummies" and let them become more self-reliant in this regard. my mom got her first computer in her 60s, and i never thought she would grasp any of this technology, but she went and got herself a couple of those books, windows xp for dummies, internet for dummies, e-mail for dummies - and she has really come very far! it might give them the hint that your hubby's helpfulness will not be able to last forever!
We thought they might just pop out!!
x