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I lost a 12-day old grandson to this 3 years ago...

Posted By: know the pain on 2009-01-20
In Reply to: Please read Leigh's story - Cybil's Aunt

my daughter did not know she was infected, had no lesions, had a vaginal delivery and the baby became infected. A truly heart wrenching, horrible end for this sweet baby boy. He was fine for the first 8 days of life and then became suddenly ill. My daughter had to make the decision to end his life (she was only 22 at the time). I happened to be on a trip at the time going to the memorial service for my father who died from lung cancer. The worst month of my life. Thanks for sharing the story.


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You lost him years ago - help where you can when you wish
to but don't make them your project - it will drain the life from you.  This is the life he evidently wants so life yours and wish him happiness.  You need to let go - it is difficult I know - but you can do it.
But if she collects for 20+ years -- could lost a lot

If she lives to age 80 she would lose over $30K doing it that way and what is two more years of working anyway.  Like the poster below, I am working for 8 more years collecting my full amount have IC's do more of my work and I will do what I need to make a decent living and have fun. 


Collecting 22 years at 790 = 208,560


Collecting 20 years at 1000 = 240,00 plus more if she waits to 65/66. 


It will take 7 years to recoup the 19K that she received for the 2 years.  To each their own but you have to look at all sides.


Patti


My sister lost her daughter to SIDS 7 years ago. (sm)
Of course the calls, cards, and visits were comforting to her but the biggest help was another couple from a surrounding town who had gone through the same thing came into their lives and were a tremendous help. They were strangers to her, but they were able to comfort her and help her through some of the grief process like none of us were able to.

In years later, my sister and her husband had likewise reached out to families that have had a loss to SIDS. Hopefully someone from that organization will reach out to her.





I lost 77 pounds on WW a couple of years go. I agree with
meeting and learn from others new recipes or great low cal/low fat things at the store. On-line or at meetings you cant go wrong with WW IMO.
Lost my mom 23 years ago and dad 18 years ago.
My son was not even 1 when my mom died....she was only 50.  My dad died at age 59.  So even though I feel your pain....I would have been very grateful to have them into their 80's.  I guess we take what we get and be thankful.  Sometimes it is hard though. 
I'm sorry. It's rough losing a pet. I lost my dog, Tate a couple years back. SM

He was a sheltie and he used to lay under my desk when I worked and I would rub him with my foot and he was a great foot warmer in the winter!  I used to say, he wasn't my dog, I was his person.  He got sick and then his liver failed and I had to have him put to sleep because he was suffering.  I cried for weeks!  I still haven't gotten another dog.  My kids have been begging me and they've almost wore me down, but for a long time after Taters died, I just couldn't bring myself to even think about another dog.  I compromised and got the kitty last summer.  I've never had a cat before, so I didn't know if I'd like a cat or not.  I've always been a dog lover, but I've been quite taken with my little cat.  He's ornery little guy and I love to play cat and mouse with him.


Listen to me just gush!  Sorry about that.


My Grandson
xx
my 6-year-old grandson
There is nothing wrong with your son and he doesn't need anxiety medication. This is a normal part of his growing up, and I discussed this with my grandson's pediatrician. At this age they hear so much, especially when people talk, on the TV, mention of it even in commercials, and they love their family so much that they do not want anything to happen to them. They have a fear of something they don't understand, and want to know that the safety and security they know and love in their family will not be taken away from them. He may have overhead something that even you are not aware of, and their little minds can pick up on anything. I had a talk with my grandson and explained some things about dying that he could understand (he even worries about his teacher dying). We didn't make much of this, and were not serious about it, so he thought it was normal. We try to answer his questions about this seriously and reassure him. At this age they also have nightmares and are changing so much and taking in so much in their daily lives. They are transitioning from a little child into a more self-assured and somewhat independent young man or young lady. My grandson crept into bed each night with his Mom, and has had reassurance from that. The pediatrician says not to make too much of it and it will pass, and also not to expose them to too much on the TV, but replace that with healthy programs and reading books and playing games with them. Also some video games are inappropriate, as they have too much violence and fighting. Before he goes to bed at night just read something happy and have a quiet time with him. Play some soothing music in the room, or have a night light on, and talk to him before he goes to sleep. Also, ask him if there is anything bothering him that you could help him with. Since you mentioned Sunday School, have you ever mentioned that he is protected by his angels and is never alone?
Was out with 3 yo grandson at 6:30 a.m. playing!!
Not really a snow lover myself anymore, but it sure was fun to watch his excitement. He even got old ski poles out of the barn and was skiing the imaginary slopes, swooosh! Of course mamaw had to be right there along with him!
This happened to my grandson
First, I would talk with the parents of the young girl your son was kind enough to lend his game to. Obviously, this young girl will not divulge having the game for obvious reasons, and in this age group this happens often. I would also not point an accusing finger, but simply state what happened and perhaps the parent could help the daughter look through her room to find it. Nothing may come of this, but at least the child now knows you are aware of what happened.

This happened to my grandson also. My daughter drives a school bus and my grandson took his DS game on the bus and placed it in a safe place in the front by the driver's area on the bus, or so he thought. When they came home that afternoon my grandson looked for his game and it was not where he had placed it. Someone had gone into the area where my daughter places her purse and other things for safekeeping and the DS game was no longer there.

They told the principal of the school about the incident, as it was a theft, and guess what, the principal refused to do anything about it, and none of the children on the bus were even asked if they had seen it seen. My daughter even asked the kids on the bus if they could help my grandson look for it, or maybe they had seen it, not accusing of course. Well, you can guess how that turned out. Of course, none of the children admitted to having it. There was $35 down the drain, so to speak, that I had given my grandson for the game he bought for his birthday.

She also gave him the same lecture about being more reponsible. These are also 4th graders were are talking about in my grandson's class.

My daughter also said the same thing that you did. She was upset because the principal did nothing about it either, since it was on school property.

I feel sorry for your son. He has a kind heart, but I guess he learned, as my grandson did, that sometimes people are not as honorable as they should be.
Expensive, but love smell of my little grandson.
nm
Grandson won't eat without ketchup, even on Thanksgiving dinner!
I know my cooking is lousy but he does this everywhere so I can't take it personally, grosses me out!
Grandson just skipped a grade last year (sm)

He started in kindergarten and promptly began acting out.  Luckily the teacher and principal decided he was not just a rowdy child, but bored.  He had somehow learned to read himself during the summer before kindergarten and we weren't really aware he could do it.  They tested him out as reading third grade level as he was just beginning kindergarten.  After much testing and conferences (against normal school board practices) they moved him up on a permanent basis.  They also placed him in the gifted program in our school district.  The counselor and teachers were careful to monitor his progress and social interactions.  The only time we have noticed a big problem was in Cub Scouts. They put him in a group by grade level and he did seem a little more childish than some of his group.  He adapted well, though. 


This is my second grandchild to be in the gifted program here, both have tested out with very high IQs.  Socially they both fit in well, perhaps the youngest one is a little too into computers, puzzles and games, but he fits human interaction in there too.


Their precious little minds need to be fed just as their bellies do.  Good luck to you.


 


My husband is 7.5 years younger. Been together almost 20 happy years...nm
nm
My feelings; people shacking up together for years and years
and then all of a sudden deciding to get married don't need a thing, obviously. A shower should not even be given. I lived with my now husband a while (nowadays who doesn't!) before we married and I also had been married before years ago but he was not....so of course HIS mom wanted a shower. I told her absolutely not unless it was just the immediate family, his mom, sisters, etc, more like a celebration/get together. And so that's what we did. Showers are tacky, period. Unless it's a couple of young kids getting married straight out of the house and that doesn't happen much anymore.
If I lost say 60-80 lbs
I would be so full of attitude even my hubby probably not able to get to first base with me! Nah, just kidding. I also need to lose that much, just gonna have to do it it seems.
lost

Note - next week is 2 hours.  Starting at 9.


Yes - they said the woman who parachuted was with an expedition that Penny sent.


Locke really appears to be dead.


lost - and am I!
I don't really know how I feel about the fast forward - but of course there is something wrong there because he said "call my father" and we know his father was dead before he hit the island.  Why didn't Charlie hold his breath and swim up through the port hole?  Whose funeral did no one want to attend?
we lost one of THE BEST!!! nm
x
LOST! (nm)
.
lost ours . . .
Four years ago both of them at the same time. We still have their son . . it was just heart retching. My husband and I actually cried harder than the kids . . . isn't that crazy???? We were devastated.
I did WW for about 2.5 yrs and lost 72 lbs! sm
It works but you need to stick with it. Don't get discouraged on the weeks you do not lose weight; it is also not "a diet" but a lifestyle change. Do try to find some fruit/veg that you enjoy; the fiber definitely helps you feel full and lose. Low sodium V8 is a good 1 pt or 0 pt option to get in 1-2 servings of veg daily. Eat a piece of fruit for your snack. I found that I really began enjoying fruit-veg after a while. Get active, drink water and give it a chance - WW does work well and nothing is off limits.

Gee, I think I should rejoin! Good luck.
I had lost about 30%. in my IRA. My
broker put my money into some type of annuity where I am guaranteed not to LOSE any more money for the next year. If on my anniversary date I am below my original balance, I retain that balance. If I have acutally made a little, I do get that and then am guaranteed that amount until my next anniversary date where the same scenario occurs. It is in lower-making funds, but at least I can't lose any more.
Been with a man 13 years older, now with a man 4 years younger.
Younger is better, at least in my case ;)
Sorry, meant 75 cents. Still, that was years and years ago.
xx
I studied to be a scopist years and years ago
Back in the early 1990s I took a course called Note reader Scopist. They read court reporter notes (those long skinny papers that looks like a cash receipt) and types them into documents. I had found the course through something called At Home Professions but just didn't finish it because it was too expensive for me. But I am familiar with them and even found my book from the first course I took. Looking back I think it would have been a blast if I had kept up with it.

It is definitely legitimate. A lot has changed since the early 90s, so I'm not too familiar with the industry now. I do remember what was really weird was it didn't take a lot for me to learn it. For instance I could look at a line of court notes and see something that looked like: NV p srn - and I seemed to know exactly what it said. Just weird. My DH used to say that I understood it because I was an alien and my ship crashed in Roswell. HA HA HA Anyway...that's what I know about it. But if you Google note reader scopist or at home professions i'm sure you could probably find a lot of info.
I have been vegetarian on/off for 35 years, was vegan for about 5 years sm
not that hard. Right now, I am having so many issues with food allergies and celiac disease, having to give up nightshade veggies...nothing left to eat. I am eating some meat now, but not when the gastroparesis sets in!

Being vegan is not hard...unless you are a celiac. This is how I figured out the celiac part because so many of the meat analogs and vegan packaged foods use gluten for the protein and I got really sick from it. I gave up all the premade things and the whole grains with gluten and I was fine.

There is vegan and then there is VE-GAN. By definition, vegans don't wear, use or consume anything that is derived of animals...no leather shoes, most shampoos and toothpastes are off the list, as are deodorants. No wool or silk. Anything with soap usually has animal byproducts. It is very involved and rather difficult to do.

Giving up meat, eggs and dairy is no big deal, except for cheese. You hear that ad about "comfort proteins" in a baby formula and there is such a thing. Mother's milk, be it human, cow, goat, whatever...contains a chemical that triggers the release of endorphins in the brain so that feeding feels good in more ways than one. The purpose of this is ensure that the nursed young want to nurse and thrive. Human milk has a lot of these, so does cow's milk and cow juice triggers the same reaction in the adult human brain. Cheese is concentrated milk and therefore these chemicals are also concentrated. As a result, cheese is an addictive substance. This is the hardest thing to give up when going vegan. Vegan cheese substitutes are nasty and they don't melt. If a dairy-free cheese melts, it contains casein, an animal protein and not vegan.
Lost coat
If it were me, I would be angry as heck at my 8 yo for not being responsible for her things. Forgot that someone might have taken it, the child was irresponisble. At 8, she should know better than to leave her things behind. Too bad, so sad, no coat, maybe she'll remember her things next time when she has no coat because she's cold. Learning life lessons are tough and 8 is really old enough to take responsibility.

Just another perspective.
lost coat

Maybe she actually left it at school or someplace other than dance, but is certain in her mind that she last had it at dance.  You could be looking in the wrong place.  I don't ever trust my memory on things like this because when life is really hectic (whose life with kids is not hectic?), sometimes events run together in my mind.  Maybe her coat is at school in the lost and found or in the back of the van under a seat, etc.  Just a thought. 


Lost Coat
You bet!! Unless shehad the money to purchase another one. She left it, so it got stolen. If it was grabbed off her back and stolen, that would be another story.

Kids can be kids, but they have to learn responsibility some time. It's the parents that don't teach it that are having issues with their kids. Mine learned early and often that their actions have repercussions, good and bad ones. And they learn from them.

For example, 15 yo daughter is a competitive dancer. When she was probably 10 or so, she goes to a competition and forgets to pack a tutu that she needs for one of her numbers. Do I got back and get it? Nope. Her responsibility and she had to expain to the others in her group that it was at home. Did she ever forget her tutu again? Nope. It usually only takes one time.

We need to be parents, not friends and teach them to live and survive in the world. It is never too young to learn. My 4 yo knows that if she walks out the door without her lunchbox for school that she doesn't have lunch. How many times did this happen? Exactly once. Kids are smarter than you think they are.
She was either drunk or lost a bet - sm
what a total freak, what woman would shave her head unless she absolutely had too (like a bad attack of lice, which I highly doubt was her problem). It will take quite a few years to grow back long again, oh well, guess that is her problem (s).
I lost 123 pounds (sm)
I am down to 112 pounds. All my skin, including my face skin, bounced back really well. I do have a little loose skin on my thighs but not so much that I can't wear shorts. My belly looks like I've been pregnant with big kids, and with my largest being 10 pounds, I earned my loose belly skin.

It might have made a difference that I did it "au naturale" without the surgery, so I am still absorbing my nutrients properly.
I know your pain..I lost my 16 y/o
xx
I am so sorry to hear you lost your
precious kitty. That's a long time to form an attachment. I feel bad for your daughter. I'm sure it was a shock for her - you're never ready for that. You are going to cry for a few days and then one day you the good memories will start and you'll realize you always have those - lots of those in 16 years.

You might make a collage of pictures for your office wall.


LOST fan here, see inside.
If they were not dead before, they probably will be now, unless they find some way of digging out. Orrr, maybe the conversation the guy had with John, where things don't stay buried if they're too close to shore, hmm. However, what was the point of this episode? It centered around 2 people that we really haven't seen before, then they seemingly get killed off in the same episode. The only thing related to the series was when Raphael (I think his name was), was hiding in the bathroom when Ben and Juliette were in the Pearl bunker watching Jack on the monitor and making some plans about him. Other than that, I totally did not get the purpose of the episode.
Funny...but I'm not lost...
I'm just coming unscrewed in the process.

My ESL would say LOOOsing it or more like lucing it!

I just need a real vacation WITH PAY!
Did you see LOST yet? (Not too spoilerish)
All I can say is - WHOA!

Didn't quite see that ending coming.

Very, very weird and interesting episode.
never miss a LOST!
We are huge Lost fans at my house! We didn't think the show shed any new light on things though. Just old stuff we already knew. They said John Locke has been trying to sabotage their chance of being rescued from the beginning, but we didn't really see anything until midway through like when he blew up Mikhail's station and then the submarine. Did we miss something else? Anyway, Locke is being so selfish now. Even if everyone else got rescued he could stay on the island by himself, so why is he trying to prevent everyone else's rescue? And we still want to know why Libby was in the institution!
Lost Addict
I'm thinking "call my father" is either a drug haze that Jack was in, OR he came back to life on the island. He did see his father standing on the beach not long after the plane crashed in season #1. At the time, I thought it was a hallucination. Maybe not? It seems that the island has the power to bring people back to life at times. The one-eyed guy came back -- or was he not really dead?
Whose funeral was it? Hmmm. Ben's? It was someone that Kate and Jack knew. Sawyer's? Someone that we haven't met on the island yet? How 'bout Jacob?
Ooooo! It's such a long time to wait, and so many possible answers to too many questions!
I lost my Tasha last May
I lost Tasha last May, she made the decision I did not she was 16 1/2 years old.  But I did take her body in to be creamated and am going to spread her ashes in the park where she loved to run and chase the squirrls when I can bear to do it.  But my sister has had three dogs put down, the vet come to her house and she is on acerage but they bury them in their back field.   In their other homes they also buried several pets.  I worked for a vet and I know how some of them dispose of the animals and I would never do that and that is why I decided to have Tasha cremated.   It cost me but was worth it. I was going to bury her out at my sisters but decided to keep her here where she loved living.   But you can have her put to sleep and take the body home with you and they don't ask what you are going to do, at least here in Oregon.   But be sure you dig a large enough hole and down rather deep so some other animal does not come and dig it up.  Even in the city, raccoons will dig it up sometimes.   Sorry, about Foxie.  I kept Tasha comfortable on arthritis medication but the Glucosamine helped the most from Petco and kept her quite comfortable for the last year.  Ultram kept her free of most of the pain during the last 6 weeks and I really don't think that she suffered.  But she decided it was the end and just went to sleep and up to that day she was walking a mile a day or so with me around the moorage.  She was eating well.   It is hard and I have not yet decided to get another dog yet but may soon.    Take care.   Patti
Somehow I lost 10 pounds.
nm
I lost my mother sm
Two and a half years ago. She was 59. I still have my father and a wonderful step-mother but not a day goes by that I don't miss my mom. So many people helped my by telling me what a good daughter I was and that my mother passed away knowing how much I loved her. She and I talked every day and most days it was 2 or 3 times. I have a 16 and 14yr old and everytime something wonderful happens in their life I think "Oh how proud my mom would be". You are always going to get meaningless platitudes but just keep in mind that your parents did a wonderful job raising you and obviously knew how devoted you were to them. Hugs to you!
My SIL had this and lost over 150 pounds. She...
really did not have any major problems after the surgery. However, it has been almost 2 years and in the past few months she has regained 35 pounds. If someone is eating to deal with emotional problems or just life in general, having the surgery does not make the emotional problems go away. They need to find another way to deal with them before the surgery in order for the surgery to work effectively. Just my opinion from watching my SIL. The docs need to deal more with WHY the patient is eating the way they do and work on changing eating habits before they have the surgery.
so, how much weight have you lost? nm
?
Another poem for all of you that have lost someone!
These poems are meant to be personally yours....

I’M FREE

Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free
I’m following the path God laid for me,
I took His hand when I heard Him call
I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
I found that place at the close of day.

If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss.
Ah yes, these things, I too will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow.
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life’s been full, I savored much.
Good friends, good times, a loved one’s touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief.
Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me
God wanted me now, He set me free.
Author Unknown

Wow! You lost half of yourself
I am in awe!
I lost 72 lb doing WW, did meetings first,
then online. Then on my own. Good luck - you can do it. Remember even a 20 minute walk counts as exercise!
I'm sorry you lost a friend sm

Maybe in the midst of my anger, I'm not expressing myself very well.  I'm really sorry you went through what you went through.


My whole point is not about money, even though it may seem that way.  I think there should be some sort of penalty when a dog bites someone, especially an 8-year-old child. 


In our case, there has been absolutely no penalty, and the dog has been out without a leash since the attack.  The owners even tried to blame our daughter for the bite.  They said the dog thought she had some food in her hand or that she was standing next to the dog's food which was not the case.  She was standing in front of their house.  The dog tried biting my daughter's ankles, and she put her hand in the way. 


They're not accepting responsibility for this attack, and if the only way for them to be penalized is by suing them, I will do that.  I will advise our attorney that we will be willing to settle with them because we don't want this to end up in court, and I'm sure the owners don't either.  I have never sued anyone and never expected I would ever sue anyone. 


While I have sympathy in your case, I don't have sympathy for the owners in our case.  If we did nothing, this could happen again to someone else's child, and I don't want to see that happen. 


 


 


that is so right on. My mom lost the ability to.....sm
pay her bills, write a check, etc., but under her bed were at least 3 dozen rolls of toilet paper HIDDEN from who knows and also another case of paper towels.  These TP and paper towels become extremely important and nobody has explained it to me yet but.... oh well, she is still a delight, albeit a mindless one.  LOL
These people just lost their son and they already
have to start answering to the press. Sure, discuss it with the police, but let this people try to catch their breath without them having to prove anything to total strangers. Look at all the speculation already, was being monitored, wasn't being monitored, (is it a law that he had to be?), John is gay, mariage is a sham. You know that if there was any foul play or not someone is saying in their ear, don't say anything. Give this family the respect they deserve. Just imagine, heaven forbid, that you lost and child and had to do it in the public eye.
have you lost your mind???
feel good to abort? what is wrong with you?!?!?