I was raised Southern Baptist, watched the hipoccracy around me
Posted By: above poster on 2008-12-07
In Reply to: Question for athiest - Toni
Watch George Carlin's "It's All Bad For You". This was his last stand up and he talks a lot at the beginning about death and relgion. He makes perfect sense! What's ironic to me is that my mom and grandma, who are christians, send me emails with his philosophy a lot. He's a very outspoken athiest so it's funny that the same people who tell me to boycott The Golden Compass would send me funnies from an athiest POV.
Actually I didn't really follow anything/anybody other than logic and by taking science classes. The bible, IMO, is an ancient tool to keep people in line. Fear is a strong motivator and many, many wars have been fought in the name of religion. I think once we let go of dogma we can truely obtain a peaceful society.
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Wow - raised in small Southern Baptist Church - can't imagine this. (sm)
As new preachers have come and gone over the years, I can't ever remember one even repainting a room in the parsonage without checking with someone much less getting rid of anything.
This sounds very, very strange and I agree with you that there is something wrong here. Do you not have any kind of an advisory board or anything within the church? Perhaps you should form one and seek out another preacher. Some of these old churches are so lovely. I can't imagine anyone tearing down our old church. It was old when I was married in it almost 40 years ago.
Good luck to you and any other members, past, present or future, of this church.
No just plain old Methodist, raised Baptist (sm)
don't really think it has religious roots though.
Westboro Baptist Church. sm
Ladies there is a bunch called Westboro Baptist church that does this sickening protesting and they call themseves christian. They were the group that was going to show up up the Omish school house funerals. This is a "christian" organization. Hannity and Colmes let them come on FAUX and they agreed not to show up at Omish funerals.
I am a Baptist and love to decorate for Halloween.
My husband and his family on the other hand don't like Halloween nor the decorations, since he feels that way, he doesn't help me and my daughter decorate. Whatever. We love decorating so we do it anyway. If they don't like it then don't look. It is just a day to have fun and decorate. Some people need to relax a little and let loose.
I, too, am with you on this - was raised by someone..
This is a very imperfect world and hence, I never expect children to be perfect - just to do the best that they can and to continue to move in a forward pattern.
We are all humans and we all forget stuff.
My mother ruled with an iron fist and you could eat off her floors. My house is nice, neat, and clean but I'm not iron-fisted nor was I ever nor will I ever be, and my kids are pretty well centered today, young adults with minimal problems, who work and are VERY RESPONSIBLE AND CARING human beings. *S* 
Of course, being ruled by someone iron-fisted (and abusive), I ended up in therapy for BEAUCOUP years as a young person; became a better mother because of it years later, proving that history does NOT necessarily repeat itself.....not all who come from abuse continue being abusers!! I broke the family generational history of all the bull and hypocrisy!
Again, this is a very imperfect world - nobody should expect perfection actually. 
Not always how they are raised
I too had a pitbull from 9 weeks of age. No one could have told me then that a dog raised as she was would turn out to be nothing by heartbreak. She was well socialized, raised around people, livestock, children, other dogs, and cats. We took her everywhere with us. She went to work with me every day on a ranch. She graduated top dog in her obedience class. She was the most wonderful loving dog, with us...until around the age of 3 years, then something snapped in her little brain and she became the killer the breed is known for. It happened overnight. We came home to find the cat she was raised with from a puppy ripped to shreds with blood all over the garage. After that, her personality changed. She became so spaced out every time she would see a small child, cat, or another dog. We tried to justify it, like a parent always does when their child does something horribly wrong. Then she got hold of another dog at the ranch whom she had known and played with for a year. Fortunately, that dog survived and we were rightfully sued big time. We had her destroyed the next day instead of taking a chance on her getting one of our children or one of the neighborhood children or somone elses pet. It was the hardest decision we have ever made, she was like our child.
The difference between pitbulls and MOST other breeds is that most other breeds bite and walk away, whereas pitbulls don't stop until they kill, it's in their blood. Once this instinct is turned on there is no shutting it off, and you can never know when and if this instinct will come out in your pitbull. I do know some nice old pitbulls who are sweathearts, but to me the risk is too great to take a chance knowing the potential they have to become killers without notice. There are too many other nice breeds out there where you will never have to worry about it. We now have a lab and our children and other pets, not to mention the neighborhood children and pets, are safe. My two cents based on personal experience on the subject.
You raised him. nm
mmm
southern NJ
We have about 2 inches here
From Southern NJ here
nm
It's 50 right now in southern AZ, (sm)
and it's supposed to get up to 76 degrees this afternoon. I feel for all you braving the cold as I am a displaced Midwesterner myself just like I'm sure you're all feeling for me when it's 110 degrees here in July and August! LOL! :)
Southern
The accents here are very Southern. I live in lower AL. Lots of people here think I have an accent, I am from WI. But when I talk to people from there, they think I have an accent.
Southern also-nm
X
I raised 2 boys on my own.
Maybe some of these techniques that assisted me can do the same for you:
1) Literally write down a list of rules that you want observed in your home. Not what you think you can get him to do but what you actually WANT. Make copies for his bedroom, for the refrigerator, for his billfold, for every room you can. (I printed mine off and framed them in certificate frames and hung them up. Be specific. Cover all areas.)
2) Literally write down behaviors and language you are not going to tolerate and rank them.
2) Literally write down a list of everything that is important to this youngster. Include friends (by name), electronics (iPod, computer, etc.), privileges (telephone, friends coming over, going out, driving), and places he enjoys going (movies, sports events, eating establishments, etc.). Rank these in order of importance to him.
3) If possible, have your husband (separated, correct?) to meet with you first and agree and provide a united front. Agree on what you expect of him as his parents, what is best for his wellbeing. Write down how you will construct discipline and dispense punishment. Make it appropriate, reasonable and, above all, something you will actually do.
5) Have a meeting with your son (and your husband, if he is onboard with you). Give your son a copy of the new rules, the discipline tactics, the unacceptable behaviors and the punishments. Go over each one of them. Don't argue. Don't explain too much. The lists are clear. Everything has a yes/no as to its use and everything has an if with it as well.
Here's the hardest part: Do what you say. If his language is offensive, he can't talk on the phone. Period. No exceptions, period. Even if you have to unplug it and keep the cord in your pocket. Never argue; never raise your voice. Just calmly make your statement and leave it alone. The more he carries on, the more trouble he will incur. Let him handle the stress of it. If you protect him from the consequences of his actions, he will never, ever change and never learn. (Warning: His behavior WILL get worse before it gets better and then it will wax/wane on occasion just to test the waters.)
Stay with him after school in his tutoring. I showed at school one day in high school for my oldest. One day for 2 classes and that was all it ever took. Made the difference with my youngest, too! Neither one wanted me showing up and sitting next to him in class! Be there but let the teacher do the tutoring. Just be there to enforce his attendance and understand what is happening in the sessions.
Praise good/changed behavior but do not reward it. If it is behavior you are wanting to be an expected behavior, praise it, acknowledge it. Reward exceptional behavior that goes beyond what you have set rules for.
Make sure he is involved in his own caretaking: Laundry, specific chores (no pay -- no ma'am, do not pay any child to contribute to their household), help cook one night a week, yard work, etc.
Be watchful of his music, TV watching, movie going. These can have just as devastating of an impact on him as his so-called friends. Make sure you know who his friends' parents are, what they do; do you agree with how they live? How these friends act? If not, restrict his activities with them.
Get him involved in some type of sport he enjoys and into a youth group if at all possible. It is important.
I hope these tips will help you as much as they did me.
The kids would have been raised as my own and
been able to have what I gave my own. It is sad in that as the birthmother wanted them back, she eventually got them only to turn back to drugs and last I heard kids out on the streets again. One person can only do so much.
Well, I was raised on a farm so...sm
I knew early on what confine meant when we had a cow ready to give birth. My grandpa "confined" her to keep her from running off into the pasture to have it on her own. You can imagine my surprise (disgust actually) when I heard educated doctors use basically the same phraseology towards a human-being...I was a tad disturbed. Then I thought...it was probably a good thing I had been confined then or God only knows which park I may have had my daughter in. LOL
Born and raised here but.......
I have never had sweetbreads or like you call it organ meat, not in my lifetime either unless starving. I know of no one in my family nor have I ever met that eats such. Oh BTW, my big chain grocery carries liver (as I suppose most stores in the US do) but have never seen the other organ meats you speak of so I guess in the south maybe not so popular?
I think that it is just the way most gen x'ers were raised...
Not me, of course. I was at the tail end of Gen X and raised very conservatively, but if you take away discipline and family values from growing children, what do you expect when they are all grown up?
I wouldn't, but that's just me. I was raised that
no matter what life dealt us, we had a safe haven in our parents' home to come back to if we needed it, and I would like my children to feel that way. I think they grow up & move off too soon anyway... :)
Southern by birth
Full of holes.....
Same here, but with a Southern twist -
Some young child grinning from ear to ear shouts in his hillbilly accent that I can barely understand (and I transcribe plenty of ESLs!) why one should buy cars from his dad. I want to tell them I might if I could understand something besides every tenth word...Brother!
Gotta be southern
NM
I don't know either but the southern cooking
is the only thing I could think of ...like Louisiana....the bayou....that kind of south??? Have NO IDEA!
southern dressin'
So you don't put white bread in your dressin'? Just cornbread? Cause the kind I make, I put 7 slices of toasted bread along with 1 sleeve of saltines. But absolutely no fruit whatsoever...
Here in southern Minnesota. . .
They call anything with barbeque sauce and meat that you eat on a bun "barbecues." Just last weekend we were getting together with husband's family and my MIL called and asked me if she should make "barbecues." I guess it does sound odd. It took me a while to get used to it. Another thing that took me a while to get used to was that a casserole was called "hot dish." It could be any kind of casserole, and they just called it "hot dish."
Southern California $2.20-ish.
x
Its 31 in southern Oregon
And feels like 20 degrees inside my house.
It is a southern thing I think....sm
I am southern and my mom used to do this a lot. She would buy a coke and put a little bag of peanuts in it.
I tried it and no the peanuts don't get mushy. It does make the coke salty too. I think it is tasty actually.
I think it is a Southern thing.
Our electric was much cheaper on the west coast than it is in Mississippi.
I was raised in Port Richmond.
X
Thank you!! I was raised in the south by 2 southerns
and this type of behaviour is completely not tolerated! We moved to the midwest when I was older and still have never been talked to like that until we moved to the east coast!! Maybe it's normal here to not have manners or respect for women??
Born and raised in Ewa Beach,
have not been home in almost 21 years. I think I like Bermuda better.
I turned out really well, thanks to the village that raised me.
And, I had a really wonderful dad. I guess the best thing for you to do is to make your daughter's friend feel welcome in your home. My best friends growing up had great families, and I loved going to their houses for sleepovers, dinners, and just hanging out. Their examples gave me good models for how to care for my family and home when I became a wife and mother. As I said, this was back in the 1960s, and no one talked about such things in those days. So no one ever took me aside and talked to me about what was going on at home. I suppose, had it been going on in this day and age, the schools and authorities would have been contacted and I'd have had counseling, and whatever else is done these days. I'm not saying those are bad things, just that the people in my small town simply went with their intuition. They knew I didn't have a stable home life, so they offered it to me in their own homes. I remember all the mothers of my friends very fondly, to this day. All of them have since passed away. They were wonderful women. One in particular, kept in touch with me for years after I grew up and moved away, and even hand-knit Christmas stockings for my family, which I treasure to this day.
Was born and raised in WV. Now I live
just across the state line in VA. Am still a WV girl at heart. Can't think of a better song to sing. Would rather sit in the sun as opposed to raking leaves though! LOL!
this is true - my daughter is not raised like I was.
nm
Yes, dad has the same hopes as you. Ah yes, Mother raised us right.
Too bad all women are not as perfect as she (rest her soul), nor as fortunate to have had such a loving and dedicated, albeit rough-around-the edges, husband.
born/raised in sacramento, ca
and yes, it has changed tremendously in last 30+ years; so much bigger. i still have family there, but do not like going there anymore.
Yes I am, born and raised in Kentucky and
x
keep in mind, you guys raised us.
nm
American Southern Language
Okay, I need some help. I live northern Florida - not a native. A friend of mine in dental school says one of his instructors uses this phrase, "Your work looks like a cat could go through it." No one in the class knows what this means. Anyone know? TIA
This Southern Gal is in total agreement with you! Nothing else need be said.
d
Ok southern cooks..anyone remember K&W's...
7-layer salad? I used to spend my summers with my grandparents in NC and we never went to a K&W cafeteria that I did not get my fair share of that 7-layer salad. Loved it! I wanna make a good batch of it for the 4th...now I have looked online at several sites and the recipes are out there..but vary slightly by cook's taste I'm sure. Have any of you ever made it and came pretty darn close to K&W's? I'm seeing them either call for regular mayo and some sugar or Miracle Whip...or even several specified Hellman's. Just wanting to know anyone who knows that K&W I'm looking for and which combination of ingredients might be the best to use to get it. Thanks everyone and hope you all enjoy a great 4th!
My cousin hunts, southern but don't know
how that fits into taking sausage balls with him when he goes hunting as he doesn't do that, might just be what your husband likes instead of being a so called southern thing but back to the hunting- my cousin married for 30+ years, went hunting all the time but met another woman and decided did not want to spend the rest of his life with the 30+ years wife and 2 grown kids so left and eventually married the other. He also spent loads of time away from home going to huh, meetings. I would be most concerned if hubby spending lots of time away from me. I think some men are into their things- such as his not wanting you to wear his T-shirts, etc. Seems like the problems you 2 are having are more than just a cooking pan.
Look at this Southern Dressing with Cranberries
http://www.mycookingblog.com/post/1-empebi/6916/Southern-Cornbread-Dressing-with-Cranberries
Southern Baptists are Christians...nm
nm
Is Rotel a Southern Thing?
I just heard of it today, for the first time. Is it like cheese whiz?
It's 31 degs in southern oregon
and even colder inside my house (or so it feels like). Lucky DH is still under the electric blanket.
Oh, why not try a southern dish, possum
I absolutely have heard of people that have ate this, heard it is terribly greasy. Rabbit is another thing as is squirrel but I have never had, to me it would seem like eating my pet cat. Have heard of all the above except yattle. My mother visiting Mexico years ago told me of having a dish with unborn goat (guess they aborted the babies from the mother goats, ewwwwwww)but then she also ate things like pickled pig feet, pork brains, cow tongue and tripe. My brother and I mostly grossed out. Surprised she did not eat chittlings! Over the years I have stuck to more main stream here in the US and presently hubby and I eat a lot of chicken, not because of it being a more economical meat but more the way they are raised, that being more organic.
Yep, southern to the core and do a lot of ESLs
and understand, never wish anyone anything bad so to them just wish they would go on a permanent vacation in Tahiti. What I really hate is when 1 after another after another continue on the weekends and that is all you get. UGH.
I remember that, but I thought animals can be raised sm
for that purpose, which is bad enough, but sold in hardware stores?
And evidently not raised w/etiquette emphasis!
and evidently not raised w/etiquette emphasis!....
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