It's hard to tell exactly who you are talking to
Posted By: sm on 2008-12-17
In Reply to: You did your rant, laughed your ___ off and wrote off your Mom and Grandmom! - BT *been there"
Whether it was your intent or not, you have addressed several different posters in this reply. I will be answering my part of it.
On the holidays that I spent solo, I can assure you that I was not LMAO. You seem to be unaware of the fact that there are millions of people out there who do not have warm and fuzzy families to spend Christmas with. Emphatically, I can tell you that it is a less than perfect world for us.
I am painfully aware of the fact that my mother gave me life. However, when it came time to raise me, she handed me off to a nanny and went on about her business. The extent of her involvement with me was to let me know in no uncertain terms how I did not measure up to her expectations. There was never one ounce of encouragement from her and she never failed to be the strict disciplinarian or to punish me whenever I screwed up or became and embarassment to her. That's when the belt came out or I would get slapped across the face. When I was a teenager, I locked myself in my room one day to escape her wrath. Her response was to take an ax to the door and barge in to continue her tirade.
I never made a single decision that was worthy of her approval. To her wealthy friends, she bragged about my "accomplishments" in school, but behind their backs, her criticism of me was relentless. Growing up, I could never understand why everybody else I knew seemed to have loving and kind parents and was constantly asking myself what I ever did to deserve that kind of treatment.
I drew the line when she started in on my son. She would not hesitate to dress me out in front of him when he was a baby and on more than several occasions, she slapped me in the face in his presence. When that happened, HE was the one who cried, not me. I was used to it. I did not have to tell him "these are bad people."
All I ever wanted for him was a normal family. You cannot begin to imagine the pain of not being able to provide that. I never tried to prevent him from seeing his grandmother or the other drug-addicted alcoholics who inevitably would descend into verbally abuse exchanges whenever they would gather together for another drinking occasion. Later in life, he had some limited contact with them because HE TOO ended up with the same longing I had as a child for a normal family. It took him about 10 years (between ages 16 and 26) to figure out that that was never going to happen. The most pain he endures is when he tries to visit his bipolar, drug-addicted, HIV-positive, unemployed, abusive cousin...who he loves. He finally gave up on that ON HIS OWN when he was 27. When he told me about that decision, he turned to me and THANKED ME for protecting him from the toxic tribe.
There is nothing "perfect" about growing up in a world where you are constantly longing to have a normal family that everybody else around you seems to have. Seems to me that you are the perfect one here, with all your "rising above." I made only one judgment and it had little to do with judging my mother. My judgment was based on my imperative AS A MOTHER, that my son would not be required by status quo to go through that same he*ll on earth. His dad provided him with plenty of contact with normal people that encouraged healthy relationships with people who have been my son's life-long friends. He had "substitute" families because that was the best we could do for him. For that, I am grateful and I feel that, though it was not the world I WANTED for him, I made the best decisions I could under the circumstances.
My mom has been gone now for 10 years and she still has the power to inflict that same pain. I still spend my holidays wishing and wondering and longing for family. Regrets? You bet. Would I have done anything different? Not on your life. Relationships are two-way streets, not dead-end destinations.
You seem awfully determined to gain validation for your viewpoint and I have no problem with that. I have given no advice to anybody. I simply told a story and left the punch line up to the readers, who can fill in their own blanks according to their own situations and not some one-size-fits-all ivory tower proclamation.
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Im not talking about a check. Im talking about a positive administration working FOR Americans and
Not receiving a check each month to help us out is not what got us in this mess...
What's the difference between talking on cell and talking to person sitting across from you?
You should be ignoring people at other tables and MYOB.
She wasn't talking to you, BTW. She was talking about the 2 posters below! nm
m
Am not talking politics here at all, talking
about how she views the southern culture which apparently she knows very little. I do not care about her politics- what I care about is by making a statement like that only shows a persons ignorance. My maid is working today, has lived in the gettos all her life in a big city and when I asked her about it she said something she has not seen in maybe 30 years. In her neighborhood there is all sort of crime that goes on (well, that is about everywhere) but if anyone would see it she would be 1. Like I say, could care less about Whoopie's political views other than the fact she got that wrong. Neil Boortz also was saying the same,;he said she was probably still holding the south in such a light because of her inability to go into a upper class restaurant here in town dressing in blue jeans. Being as she was born in NYC, we southerns still say da.n yankees! So true here.
Look who's talking!
So what are you doing here? Also, it should be "as well as the ones WHO answered this", by the way.
look whose talking too!
Maybe that is me you are talking about?
Hey, I thought I was consoling when I said that maybe she had religion in her heart but hey, read into it whatever you want. You cannot save everyone and if she had wanted to hear you, you would not have been hushed. I lost my grandmother 30 years ago and I was extremely close to her and visited her often. I remember her fondly. I for 1 do not believe that only Christians are the chosen ones so if your grandmother was another religion that you do not approve of, she might have picked the right one, who knows? My heart was in the right place when I answered you but apparently you thought otherwise.
If a guy is still talking to his
and they have no kids together, been divorced almost a year, that's bad, right?
She cheated, why would he want to talk to her still?
that's OK. keep talking.
She really has her heart set on Pratt so spending 4 days in Brooklyn to learn her way around a little. She is a thrift store junkie so we will be exploring Park Slope and Williamsburg anyway. Juniors sounds like a definite. Thank you so much. So much to choose from, we never know where to begin, but we are both adventurous eaters and willing to try anything. We will both have a big huge fattening piece of cheesecake for you! Brooklyn gardens has been on my list for years so this is the year for that also.
But it is CNN along with others, we are not talking
about talk, regular every day news, local, nightly. As far as the newspapers, I learned several years ago the news terribly slanted and now the news is sensationalized. These stories I listed are on CNN news page as we speak.
What are you talking about???????????????
l
that's what I was talking about...
and we have an owl on this property (that nobody can see) for a couple of years and he/she does hoot and sometimes his/her hoot can go on for hours and all different times of the day/evening. Been living here for 17 years on this property and while I have always *heard* this owl occasionally....his/her hooting has increased tenfold over time.
Last night the birds were chirping big time around 11 pm or midnight! I just don't get it......well, I DO get it....and it's scary....*thoughts of the future and the environment*
not really...we have tried talking to them about it before but they don't get it...
We are always doing something and I just find it so rude that we don't even get a phone call before stopping over...we love having them but just want a little respect in that area...My parents always call before coming over...
can you use (is this what you are talking about)
the inexpensive throws you see everywhere - rolled up - like big lots and target - I am not spending a lot this year and have two adult daughters who are always cold - this sounds so cool.
Just talking about this
Had my mother lived, she would be incensed. We have bent over backwards trying to be correct while our freedoms, celebrations, what have you are disappearing. There are all kind of people in the work force, you cannot please each and every one. It is like a person not liking a particular television show, darn turn it off, don’t look, don’t join in with the rest but to say they don’t believe in it?? I don’t believe in a lot of others beliefs but I leave them alone, I do not try to push my beliefs, values on them. We are slowly losing our country, little by little.
Just talking about this...
I would like to say that I am of the Jewish faith, and I have always went along with the Christmas Parties, etc. It doesn't offend me as I know that the majority celebrates Christmas. I am married to a Christian, so we celebrate both. My children are versed in both religions and I think that it will make them more rounded individuals when they get older. So don't go slamming everyone for their beliefs. Everyone's different.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Kwanzaa!
I really don’t know what you are talking about
I said sorry for the child taking irradiation- I said we all have problems - we do. I said thought 14 too old for paddling - I do. The original poster put in about the padded panties and how her bottom looked or should look without the bruising. Where do I come off being horrible? Do not understand your post. She has gone into much detail about the wheres and whys and how the paddling to take place. I still find that really, really strange and question the validity of that.
Exactly what I'm talking about..sm
People so bitter around here for something that is happening to another person that will in no way affect them or their tax dollars, and here they want to whine about it. It is not your life, it is not your daughter's life, so why not just leave it be if you have nothing nice to say? Bah. Old biddies I guess ;)
If you really want to get them talking
If you don't care what she says about you, you could always ask her if she has had her rabies shot today. Then say "Yeah, I wanted to give you something else you can talk to other people about me behind my back". But then again, if you have to be around her the best advice is what everyone else said...stay away from her. She is definitely mentally imbalanced. I used to belong t a quilting group and this one lady would talk about church, church, church, sunday school, we did this and we did that, we do good things for people, and then in the same breath talk really nasty about people. One time she said such an insensitive remark to me about my husband (whom she had never met) I left in the middle of my lesson in tears and never went back to that group and joined another. I never gave this lady a chance to say another mean word to me. People like this are just truly ignorant. I call them energy vampires. They suck all the energy right out of you and believe me, they are out there. Best of luck to you.
Are you actually talking about someone else? sm
Maybe a friend you fell out with and you know she reads this board? If you really are talking about yourself, go talk to a doctor and get some antidepressants :-)
wth are you talking about?
not sure how you figure insurnace companies charge you for other people's kids...
i know what you are talking about sm
i'm fascinated with spirit stuff. i know what orbs are. maybe i should take some pictures around our house. we haven't had any family pass. he explains to me what the ghost looks like. once he said he saw the grim reaper in the bath tub. i don't in anyway put these ideas in his head. i don't even bring them up. but when he brings them up, i don't brush it off, i ask him what he saw, if he was scared, if they talk to him. i don't want him to feel like he can't come to me and tell me these things. my hubby on the other hand, doesn't believe in that stuff, and i haven't even told him that our 6 y/o says he sees stuff like that. he'd think i was feeding it in his head, but i don't. i had a dream once when i was pregnant with my first son. it was the most amazing dream i had ever had. i dream in color, and they seem so real. anyway, i was pregnant with my first kid, didn't know what i was having at the time of this dream. in my dream an angel came to me (she looked like my mom --- my mom is still alive) and she was holding a baby. it was a baby boy. after i had my first boy, he looked exactly like the baby in my dream that the angel was holding. it was just amazing!!!!
Are you talking about
David Duchovny from the x-files? If so, I have been moderately obsessed with him since the 90's. :)
Yes. I think I had what you are talking about,
but thankfully mine did not last that long. I still from time to time will get it, but again very briefly. Hope it gets better for you very soon.
are you talking about
the graduation party being the night of graduation? HOW COMPLETELY RUDE for the sis-in-law to say that! The wedding date isn't set yet, its not YOUR fault if they decide that month that weekend, etc! How selfish of her to send that nasty e-mail! I'm so sorry! Graduation is a big deal, they can get married any day, any time of year, graduation is not any time of the year. If they set it on that weekend AFTER you already sent the save-the-date email, that would make me feel they are being selfish too. I'm sorry you're having such a bah-humbug time of year!!
DH and I were just talking about this
last night. We saw the Shamwow guy's new infomercial for the chopper...listen closely to the chopped nuts part if you see it. We think he is the next generation of Mays. At least the Shamwow guy is hysterical.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT????????????
say the baby "dropped" as in dropped into your pelvis??? I'm seriously hoping that was a joke!!!
WHAT are you talking about?
No one here is saying anything about where it came from. Most have the sense to know it was a gift, already heard. We are talking pets, not politics.
you might be talking about the BMI....nm
nm
I think what she was talking about
is about single parents - not having the mother or father present but still can raise your kids right...like my daddy did with me :)
We were just talking about that!
That's so funny - I was talking to my best friend on the phone and we said the same thing. She said she thought Debbie Rowe had made some effort to get back in the kids lives and, if so (and assuming she isn't a complete nut job), she should get the two back that are definitely hers.
Are you talking about the 1 on the
gurney with him being intubated?
I know how hard it is......sm
I understand what you're saying. God didn't give us the ability to forget, just the strength to get through it. Have you talked with your husband. Does he seem happy to have this child or has he ever said he was sorry for ever wanting that now that the child is here? Maybe if you could hear him say he was sorry for ever wanting that and couldn't imagine your child not being here, maybe that would help. Seeing true remorse in a person goes a long way in helping you deal with this.
Hard to say
If I had it to do over again, I probably would not have married my husband. He and I are not very well suited to each other at all. But then I wouldn't have my wonderful son, so I can't say I entirely regret it. And after 27 years of marriage, my husband and I finally have a great relationship, with the help of an excellent marriage counselor. What's that saying - I've been happily married for 8 years, but we were married 27 years ago. 
I'm sorry - I know it must be hard for you (sm)
I don't have experience with it, but at lesat she is making the decision and you don't have to make it. There are also assisted living facilities that are not so much a nursing home, if you think that would be an option for her. Best wishes to you.
i know it is hard to believe
but I didn't see a pay phone in the dorm. You can get a room phone installed but it is expensive. I guess that is a thought though.
Even if I could contact AIM, I don't think I would. He is 18 and really I can't tell them not to let him use his free account. He's an adult (at least in terms of the law) even if he isn't acting very mature. The way it is now, I can see if he is online and talk to him. If I did something like that he would jsut make up a new screen name that I wouldn't have at all. I just don't think that is a good idea.
This is so hard
Your dog is beautiful. I know how attached you get and how much love these little guys give us.
We just had to go through much the same thing with our 9-year-old lab, Murphy. He got pancreatitis and was very sick, started to get better, but then really took a turn for the worse. He was unable to get up and walk and just cried and cried. After a couple of days, we all decided it was best to have him euthanized. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make, but none of us could stand to watch him suffer any more. He has had this look in his eyes like he was saying let me go.
Not saying that that is the right decision for you. I think you will know in your heart when it is time. Just try to keep him as comfortable and happy as possible.
My heart goes out to you and Fox.
re: having a hard day/NC MT
It depends on where your degree is from, and where you plan to go to school. If your college credit is from a community college, it should most certainly transfer. You really have to check with a counselor from the school you wish to attend. Good luck!
I'm so sorry...I know it must be so hard (sm)
at least it has only been 8 months though...so you two have no children together, right? No having to beg for sex when you are a newlywed is not normal. I have a lot of marital issues myself thought not similar...please e-mail me if you want to talk!
7 is a hard age sm
Had a 2nd grader who was after much angst by all, diagnosed as gifted. I was able to put him in private school, quieter, excelled at everything, is now an entrepeneur and doctoral candidate. It was not easy to pay the bills, but worked harder than ever. The school had me thinking it was my parenting skills, or lack of them, his behavior, his needing more male positive image, etc., etc. If I had istened to them he would have been put in a special class with those with learning difficulties. All in all, I was crying every day. Took a lot of time and energy. Looking back, his teacher was at fault for mislabeling him and not appreciating his talent. I think he was smarter than she was. We shudder at even the mention of her name. Some don't deserve to be teaching. Don't let her be mislabeled. Thank goodness, I knew someone in the field who tested as I was transcribing his work. It's a very hard road you have in front of you. Don't be discouraged, please. Good luck with it, it's very difficult. Keep examining the whole picture. God bless you.
So sorry. I know this has to be so hard
but she obviously is in a very loving home. Take a little comfort in knowing that you gave her a wonderful life.
it must be hard
person... i mean if you have only felt the need to apologize one time that must be some sort of record. correct me if i'm wrong, but you were apologizing at that particular time even though you were not at fault?
I did it on my own. It was not hard. No one else will
It did take some time to educate myself but it was not difficult. Got Money magazine and started reading. Also read other mags. I did have someone to talk to but could have done it without this person. Also, the investment groups 800 numbers were able to answer questions I had. It was acutally fun, in an odd way, knowing I was taking care of me, without having to pay someone else to do it. And that someone else would also be paid, out of my money, for giving me advice I could find for myself.
It's so hard to know ....
It's so hard to know the truth when these stories are printed in the Enquirer and papers of that kind. I hope this is one of those stories that turn out to be just sensationalism. How sad for him if it isn't!
What's hard is that
we have been keeping all of our kids' college funds in the stockmarket. After a big hit in 2001, they were doing OK. But now that we're really having to use them, the money just isn't there.
I'm wondering if it makes more sense to keep the money in the market (waiting for recovery) and take out a loan for the college tuition.
No wonder it's so hard to get through - and why
And yet US hospitals are trusting confidential data to the people who built that tangled mess. Unbelievable.
It's really hard to tell ...
what the true tones of some of these texts are meant to be.
It seems what I am reading is saying to tell the truth in an abstract way, just not in a personal way.
If anyone cares, my kids are only 4, 5, and 8, so the subject of my experience with alcohol and sex would be totally inappropriate. I was just wondering if anyone had an experience where being truthful with their older kids (18+) about herself was helpful. Apparently not?
me too and its so hard! nm
x
Not too hard for me, either.
I probably only eat meat 3 times a week as it is. I've committed to a vegetarian diet several times before in my life, and kept it up the longest for about 3 years. The thing that pulls me back to the meat eating side is hamburgers. I don't know why, but I love 'em! Really good ones... not fast food "patties". Also, I don't have any issues about not eating animals. I think some animals are quite tasty. But I can do fine without eating them, too. Were I more committed to vegetarian philosophy, I'm sure it would be a different story.
Too hard for me
b
Talking about dieting, has anyone
used Hoodia and if so, what kind of success have you had with it?
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