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It's lying in the absolute literal sense, but so what.

Posted By: Lllls on 2008-11-26
In Reply to: If you tell your kids that Santa Claus is real - is that considered lying?

I think it's part of the fun of Christmas. I wasn't traumatized by thinking Santa was real when I was small. And my children, who are now 18 and 20, seem to be well adjusted, too. I also don't think that lying to your children is the worst thing you can do as a parent. The "controlled dissemination of information" can be a good thing. My kids don't need to know what I did when I was a wild child, for example. And on occasion I've told them there were no more Little Debbies in the house, even though I had a personal stash hidden away. LOL!

As far as Santa goes, I loved it. The way I explained it to my children when they got older and stopped believing was that when we're very little, Santa is a noun. He's a jolly old man who brings us gives, a very concrete thing. When we're older, Santa becomes a verb that means "to give". When my oldest became aware of the Santa reality, he wanted to "Santa for my little brother", and kept the fantasy alive for him. Now they do that for others. I consider that a reality.

The arguments regarding the honesty of the Santa fantasy will go on and on. In the end, it's a personal family decision to participate or not, and I think we can all be respectful of other family's decisions by not divulging the truth within earshot of children who believe, and not arguing over the issue with parents who believe otherwise.


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yes, i think some can be taken literal
and some symbolic, ie, do snakes maybe represent danger to your daughter? Of course most my dreams have no apparent meaning. but i have had a few that were helpful. once my horse had gotten loose and we couldn't find him; then i remembered what i was dreaming when my dad had woke me up -- and i told him the precise place to go, and sure enough, there was my horse. Another, after a person very close to me died, was one that gave me reasons to 'hang on' and live my life out, helping me significantly. I do think it would be more difficult to tell the significance of your child's dream vs your own.
That's an absolute riot !!! Luv it !
:D
I think she is an absolute gold digger...

...with her solid gold shovel.  It's unfortunate there was no prenup.  Guess they were the only two people who thought it would last. 


I agree, hospice is the absolute best
When my mom had cancer back in the ྌs, dad was against hospice (basically 'cuz he didn't accept that she was going to die), so she died in a hospital. When he had cancer in ྜྷ, we talked to hospice because he was the worst patient ever in the hospital (I had to be there 24/7). Hospice was the best choice and the best support, as long as there is a family member there for the day-to-day care. They provided meds, a nurse to bathe him (being my dad, he wouldn't let me do it), and they were always a phone call away, even at 3 a.m. When he did die, they came right out and took care of things so I didn't have to, removing all the equipment the next day.

Hope this helped.
MMMM...my absolute favorite thing is...
standing in the garden on a warm day eating those little devils right off the vine! What they sell in grocery stores is a joke!
This IS the absolute best way to deal with difficult people.
Unfortunately, this is the way that I have to deal with my own mother. I never tell her anything, or she broadcasts it to the world, twists information, gossips and criticizes. After about 40 years of it, I finally just stopped giving her any information about what goes on in my life, except for the very basic, surface type things. Ironically, my aunt advised me to do this, and said that most of the family has to do the very same thing!
Puppy singing is my absolute favorite too! NM
xx
Would you think someone was lying if they said this? (sm)

I have someone I have been seeing for a while who never calls but emails me all the time telling me that he loves me and misses me.  But he always says it like this, "I really love you, I mean it. I hope you believe me."  or "I am going to miss you while you are gone, I hope you believe that."  It is starting to bother me that he always has to add the "I mean it"or "I hope you believe that" part.  Why would I not believe it?  Why would he not mean it?  Does it sound like a lie to you?


He has always written me the sweetest, loveliest emails yet never calls (maybe 10 calls in an entire year and a half).  I don't see him all that often but when I sugggest seeing someone else he gets upset and begs me not to, says he will do better, but then things stay the same.  I really do care for him but I am starting to wonder if I am just being taken advantage of.  He has borrowed small amounts of money from me throughout this time, most of which I have told him not to worry about paying back.  So now I am wondering if he is just writing the sweet emails to try to keep the gravy train rolling? 


 


it's not lying
It's just not. I was about to get all preachy and talk about how we need mythology in our lives--stories that tell teach us morals, that remind us of our traditions--but I'll stay off the soapbox for now and just say that for as long as my kids are willing to believe, I will give them stories to believe in. The five-minute cry when they discover Santa isn't real, is more than made up for by the years of joy beforehand, don't you think?

As for talking in front of the kids, I don't think that's really a big deal, either. Kids love to put this stuff together in their heads, make up stories about it--how come there are so many store Santas? How come mom and dad are hiding these presents in the attic? They ask those questions and still believe. They're kids; they're good at that.
lying
If he is routinely confessing to you about his indiscretions, assuming this is how you know about them, and he is not afraid of you or the consequences, I assume all things being equal, you are free to do the same.
the lying is only part of it
Obviously there is more going on than just the fact that he is lying.. Why is he lying - what is he doing with the money?
You certainly weren't lying after
.
Problems with lying on back? anyone else?

For a couple of years I have had trouble with trying to sleep on my back....if I lay flat on my back for more than 10 or 15 minutes I get extremely nauseated...if I fall asleep on my back, I wake up freezing cold.  I am a little overweight but not obese.  I do have a rather large chest though...I have been embarassed to go mention this to my doctor because it sounds silly to me, but yet it happens every time. The last few days I have been having pain between my shoulder blades and palpitations....I am starting to really worry about my heart but I am just embarassed to go and mention it.  I am 40 years old. I know some of you will scold me for not already going....but has anyone else had these symptoms?


Problems with lying on back? anyone else?
Don't be embarrassed about going to the Doc!

Honestly, it sounds like your body is trying to tell you something is wrong. Please get thee to a Doc asap! If nothing else, at least for peace of mind!
Husband lying and I am going carzy

At least once a week I catch my husband in a lie, and it is always about money.  He writes checks and lies to me about what they are for, how much they are for, etc.  If I ask him how much money he has on him he will even lie to me how much he has.  This is just a general question I ask him to know if I need to go get my own or if he has enough for whatever we have planned.  When I asked him about it he gets angry and defensive and "cannot remember."  Or he will say he told me about it and make me feel I am going crazy.  We are actually trying to do Dave Ramsey's "Financial Peace" which says you NEED TO COMMUNICATE ABOUT MONEY AND KNOW WHERE IT IS GOING.  What do you think is going on?  Where do I get help?  I am ready to leave, as he has been lying to me like this the whole 16 years of our marriage.  He had a major gambling problem years ago and a counselor once told him, even though you've stopped the gambling you have not stopped the behavior, but he still doesn't get it.  I have been in counseling three times with this man.  I feel like i am the only one giving 100% to this marriage.  I just need to know that it's okay for me to be frustrated and upset and ready to leave this marriage because of it, or am I just freaking out too much? He makes me feel crazy most of the time!!!!  Our kids adore him, but I cannot live with him.  What do I do?


I certainly do my fair share of lying
but i can't say that i've ever really made up anything huge but nobody has ever really called me on it either. Maybe those I lie to are either just gullible or too nice to say anything about it or maybe not good at spotting a lie. I don't know, but I do know I lie a lot. Maybe it's because of my low self-esteem, and maybe that's why people don't really call me on it, because they pity me too much.
Leave the lying, cheatin dirtbag.

Maybe, if agency lying, you can get any fees back
x
whichever one is lying will be the one to resist the meeting nm
x
Doesn't sound like he's lying, just sounds like you have different wants.
You're comfy in your life as it is. It's one thing to gain love again, it's a whole different story to gain love along with a roommate and all that comes with that, including losing some sense of freedom and space.
Letting a child about Santa isn't lying, sheesh
Telling about Santa isn't lying, it's a rite of childhood for millions of kids, as is the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. I see no harm in giving my children hope in something so good as Santa. I don't remember being crushed as a child when I found out about Santa, I only remember the joy of waking up on Christmas morning to a full stocking and the anticipation of waiting for the big guy. We were so poor that I don't know how we ever had a Christmas but somehow there were always gifts from Santa, to me that's what he's about, not lying but believing.

People take really strange things far too literally, takes the fun out of the simple things in my opinion.
OMG you are living my life!!!! (Mine is lying behind me as I type this!)nm
x
As the saying goes - "Let lying dogs sleep" - no DNA is not in order
What on God's good earth would that accomplish? So that some sick tabloid could then publish a story about this? Those kids know MJ as their father. I don't care whether someone thinks they don't or do look like him. I have a brother in law who looks nothing - and I mean absolutely nothing - facial features, hair color, skin color, or anything, like anyone in his family or even any ancestors in his family. When husband and his sibling are together they all act alike and they all have the same smile, two of them have the same eyes, 3 of them have the same nose, and the way they say certain things they sound like each other and their parents, but not my BIL, his hair, skin color, the way he laughs, talks, or moves - absolutely nothing like his mother, father or any of his siblings. They joke that he was switched at birth, but from the time he was born he was never out of his mother's site in the hospital.

I think most of America does not need to know whether or not the children are really his. For someone to come out and say "I think a DNA is on order", the family should tell that media clown - it is none of your business, leave Michael Jackson's kids alone. They are going through enough as it is. I hope MJ's family tells them no. And I think Debbie Rowe should keep her trap shut.
No, but I hate my lying, stealing, sociopathic brother. Does that count? NM
z
No, probably not to someone with a sense of
x
A sociopath in every sense of
the word.  I don't know how he can live with himself.  Doesn't he have any remorse or guilt?
it actually makes no sense
to sell a sound, healthy horse at auction for a fraction of the price that can be sold outright. If the horse is too slow to race ont the track they can and are used in other disciplines. Its hard to believe that practice is widespread. When a horse finds its way to auction there are other underlying reasons..
Okay, that does make more sense.
Thank you.
That would certainly make the most sense,

I don't like her, but this makes sense to me.
nm
My sense of decorum.

Believe it or not, I used to be very civilized.  No potty mouth, no lewd or lascivious behavior, and no leaving the bathroom door open when someone was in there for any reason whatsoever.  Now my day isn't complete unless I get this sweet nothing whispered into my ear:
"Hey Kath, pull my finger." 



I will try to talk sense to the ex

Tomorrow's my day off, and I will see if the ex is receptive to reason.  We have real problems communicating about most any issue, his general attitude is "don't you dare try to tell ME what to do, biatch!".  It is the policy of his household to have all calls put on speakerphone and let anybody in his household at the time I call horn in on what I wish could be private phone conversations with my son.  I have repeatedly complained to the court about this practice, the court has ordered him to keep the speaker phone off when I call, but he ignores it, and even if I go to the trouble of recording/submitting every conversation to the court, they aren't going to do anything about it.


He is deeply involved with people (who I knew very well back when) that are paranoid hypochondriacs who have abused antibiotics to the point that no antibiotics work for them any more.  Since he mentioned their name when he barged into the last phone conversation, I am assuming they have his ear and have influenced him into this overreaction.  Since I disagree with his actions he is likely to become hostile and tell me to shove off, but I guess I'll try and see if there's any hope of making him see reason.  I suppose it'll all be about timing - if there's a houseful of ne'er do wells shouting comments when I call tomorrow, I'll know whether to try or not.


Common sense
I remember in 9th grade, back in the 1970s, we had to give a speech for English in front of the whole class. Mine was on first aid. I demonstrated several pretend procedures on a volunteer. Then my volunteer was suffering from a snake bite, so I was demonstrating the technique that was in vogue at the time, where a knife was used to cute the puncture wounds and so the poison could be sucked out. I pulled out my demonstration knife and my teacher suddenly came on camera to examine my knife. Not being a dummy, I had made a cardboard knife, colored the handle part black, and covered the blade in tin foil. In the back side I had taped a fine-tipped red pen. It looked real on camera as long as you held it the right way. That teacher didn't like me, and he spent a good 30 seconds examining the weapon, during my taped presentation, before he was satisfied he could not get me in trouble for it.

No, I was no dummy.
thanks. that makes more sense anyway
just like it's redundant to have prayer request and Christianity.
Ya know, that makes no sense to me
There are bosses and I expect them to make more than me, my gosh, if not then I would have tried to be high on the totem pole- I care nothing about running a business, done that before, am just as happy as I want to be with the salary I make and concerns me not that people like Trump and others make more- they work a lot harder than I do or have in the past.
That makes sense (nm)
x
Does not make sense to me
That is really very strange. Have they been trying for awhile? MAYBE...is it possible that she had been to the doctor, and he heard results over the phone before she did? Maybe HE has not told HER yet that she is expecting? Stranger things have happened, I guess. I agree it is very strange behavior. I sure hope all works out well and it is not what you are thinking, that he's hurt you on purpose.
What he needs is some parents with some sense (sm)
I feel sorry for you as his neighbor and sorry for him that his parents have raised him to be this way.  They shouldn't talk to him that way.  If the people who are supposed to love you more than anyone on Earth treat you like that, then how would you possibly learn to treat other people with decency and respect?  If anything actually needs to happen, it is that DSS needs to be called and told how the parents talk to their child. He doesn't need military school...he needs to be treated like a human being, then maybe he can act like one...if it is not too late. You should report this to DSS.  I am usually the last one who would say that because I think children are almost better off with their parents, messy house or whatever, but in this case, this child needs help.
this does not make any sense to me
I am not getting this at all. If my son gained 100 pounds and my husband made him do chores all day, I would think that my husband was trying to be a father to my overweight son. When my husband fixes the car, he comes in the house, grabs my butt and wants to make out. If I went and told anybody else that he did these things he would be MORTIFIED!

Maybe that is abuse and maybe it is not. The point is that the original poster thinks it is abusive. She feels like she is living with someone she is afraid of.

Consulting other people that know her husband may not be the safest way for her to handle it. It doesn't matter what other people think. I stand by what I posted before. Leave or don't leave, but I would not try to get a consensus.
now you are making sense! sm
I am not being mean, just trying to get you to think! Now you will have to call a domestic abuse person in your state or an attorney and ask what you have to do. BUT if you truly are scared, you can go to a "safe house" tell them your story and I guarantee they will help you. Explain what you have said that you thought you hd waited too long. Also tell them what the cop told you years before. They hve heard it all. I am just trying to get you to leave before its too late. Sometimes it takes a rough push but you CAN do it and do well. Don't ever get it in your head there are no options. There are always options nad always hope as long as there is breath and life!
Use some common sense
Just as women have things they are uncomfortable with, weight, breasts, etc...men don't want an ugly uncircumsized penis, so get over it and do your boy a favor.  Not to mention all the health reasons.  Sheesh!  My son or husband hardly remember the little skin at the top of their penis being taken off.  Give me a break! 
makes sense to me (sm)
I think I'm going to check around with some other dentists.  Thanks for confirming my thoughts that they are overcharging.  They seem to have a problem filing insurance in a timely manner as well and I've had issues with them over that in the past. 
well that makes a little more sense
if she was selling the songs to other people. $1.9 million is a little steep just for downloading for personal use.
I agree. It only makes sense to me.....
Only in America do we spend all this money to figure out who to release a dead body to. Let's see.....a mother who hasn't had anything to do with her daughter for 20 years or.....an attorney who was living off the deceased for five years.....Lay her body at rest with her son. Figure out who the father is of the baby and let it be. One thing though, the judge is so comical, it's almost like watching a comedy movie. When he said "loose as a goose" yesterday, I thought I would die laughing so hard!!!
ok he sounds like he has a sense of humor..LOL.

and now I want to tell you there is an organization called messies.com (I think) - I heard about it five years ago and there is also messies anonymous which is alot like the 12-step program that I heard about.


You can Google the issue - *companies that help messy people get organized*


That's my only suggestion because maybe he's NOT a passive- aggressive and I merely assumed that (?) - If I did, I'm sorry, didn't mean to offend....however, I am not convinced as yet that I did make an error. 


Not offended, just thinking with some sense
She is emotional because of what has happened. Legally, you cannot obtain someone elses records - I told her to contact lawyer because this is not a good thing to tell. It is not legal period. She can try to protect but you cannot take the laws into your own hands, well you can but then you might be put in jail. I am just telling her the facts like they are. She can insist on him having testing but again she CANNOT make him do it. Not her call.
I'm not going to judge you. I've been there in the sense that sm
I had to be the other woman telling the other man to "get over me, I'm married." I would say you definitely sparked an interest in his life and it's probably been "fun" for him to know that he still "has what it takes." ALL men want to be someone's hero and you were/are his cheerleader - if he's been married for any length of time and he's getting to intimate in conversation with you then I can guarantee that she's probably no longer his cheerleader. Men need that. I know exactly what happened between you two as it happens every single day.
Sometimes the men (and women) who meet other people (whether at work, on line, etc) will go even further than this man has gone and will meet up with you, sleep with you and try to carry on a relationship with you for as long as they can get away with it. It is wrong and dangerous. I believe you do have very strong feelings for him.
The reality is this: He is married. Happily? Who knows. It's still wrong. You must, and I repeat, must pick up your dignity, look at your beautiful face in the mirror and say, "There is an available man out there who would love to love me! Lord, help me find him. I deserve it!" And you do. We all do.
Morally, ethically, anyway you look at this, it is wrong. Even if he were to leave his wife for you, you would be considered an adulter in the eyes of God for stealing another man's wife. You are NOT AN ADULTERER. You are a beautiful woman who deserves her own man.
Good luck to you. Do the right thing. As painful as it will be, you will be blessed if you let him go. He can't be had right now.
I know - sick sense of humor but...

Movie I laughed out loud to most recently was Hostel.  Way creepy movie/plot but still just couldn't stop myself when that girl's eyeball was bouncing off her cheek.


Definitely - Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Road to Wellsville, O Brother, Shrek


Your post makes the most sense in that
I had a little girl and when she first started taking, having heard my first name, she tried to call me the same. I would say, "to others I am so and so but to you I am mamma." Then when she called me by the first name I would ignore and then when Mamma I would acknowledge and answer. I told him exactly what you said. No he has not had a sex change but says hated his real name all his life, since his childhood and therefore the change. I told him he should have sent his own flowers, also but the deed was already done. I do not find it silly to want to be known by your name, though. I personally had to tell my father before when he would not acknowledge my remarrying (sending checks, etc. in the first name) that he would have to put new name on my mail or whatever. He also tried to do the same with me basically. Finally came around, though.
Does this sentence make sense?
I'm trying to write a letter. what i want to say is that more time is needed in the basic classes at school and special classes such as (music, art) should not take priority or cut into the core classes.

This is my sentence

There is lack of adequate class time is the core classes such as math, language arts, and science. Specials are great to have but specials do not dominate academia.

Does that make sense to anyone but me?
You made perfect sense -- it only went to him
Unless you put her name on the CC of the new email or hit reply to all, it only went to him.  Whew - you can breathe easy again!