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Midnight shift husband for 18 years now......sm

Posted By: NRS on 2008-10-21
In Reply to: MTs who have husbands that work midnights sm - country bumpkin

It will get better....eventually. It took about 8 years for my hubby to realize I can't work midnights like him because we have two kids to raise.

Believe me, it is very difficult at times, but it does get better.

It might help if you have a calendar in full view for him to look at, so he knows what type of schedule you are on regarding work, kids activities, etc. Once he sees it in writing and realizes all the pressure that is on you, he may begin to understand.

Believe me, night shift is not easy for the marriage.

It takes great patience and understanding of both parties for it to succeed!

I sleep with my golden retriever at night now!


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midnight shift

My husband learned to leave me alone so I could work when I got a few really lousy paychecks.  I told him if he wanted my undivided attention, I would quit and he could get a second job.  That always seems to shut him up real quick. 


Midnight shift
nightowl:

You know what? I think u are my long lost twin (LOL). I second your statement!!!
My husband is 7.5 years younger. Been together almost 20 happy years...nm
nm
Because my husband did it once many years ago and has
never done it again.  Decided it wasn't worth losing his family over.  That was 26 years ago and we've both done a lot of growing up since then. 
My husband has been doing it for about 5 years!
I don't know that much about it, but he has gotten a ton of free gifts from doing it!
my husband had them a few years ago
He was in a lot of pain.  Had to keep them covered at all times because we have small children who have not chickenpox yet.  He took Vicodin like they were candy.  He couldn't sleep, couldn't get comfortable even sitting.  He has them front and back on the same side.  They usually do not cross over.  If you work with food, make sure you wear gloves to avoid contamination, especially if you are cooking for more than yourself.  Good luck.  I hope they heal quickly and that you have minimal pain.  I will keep you in my prayers.
Husband should have put a stop to this years ago.
xx
Husband had affair 13-14 years ago

It was with a co-worker.  He told me about it in the fall 1993.  He moved out.  A couple of months later he moved back home and said it was over.  Our kids were young then, 6 and 9, and the holidays were coming up which is probably why he moved back.  Fast forward to the fall 1994.  He comes out with that he never stopped seeing her, but now she was moving out of state and it really is over.  In 1999, we moved to a different state (not the one she's in... I know where she went).  Things seemed to be okay, at least the way they always have been.  We even had a baby girl in late 2000.  Husband switched jobs last year and I was finally getting around to cleaning out some boxes that he brought from the office.  I found an envelope in there from the low life he cheated with with a Christmas card and some pictures postmarked 2006.  The message said hope you and your family are fine.  I finally found some pictures for you.  I hope you like them, etc.  They are mostly of her with her husband with family friends.  I think it's her husband ... at least it was her husband's name back then I remember, because he had called me a couple of times back when it all went on.


Okay, so it's like 14 years after the fact. I thought it was something we had gotten past. The thing is, I had never seen what she looked like and now out of the blue I'm putting a face to the whole thing.  Besides that it's bringing the whole thing back, the feelings, the betrayal, all of it, I'm also shocked that one or way another they have stayed in touch, even with us moving.  Now I wonder again, is he really where he says he is when he's out?


Just wanted some opinions here. I'm just a mess right now and don't know whether to say anything or not.


Poll here- my husband is 10 years younger but would you date

someone who is about the same age as your child or have you ever? Watching Dr.. Phil today and seeing 38-year-old woman going with a friend of her sons who is 18. As for me until I married my husband, the only younger guy I had ever dated was only a year younger.


Do you LOVE your husband? Want to spend your golden years with him?? Drop this fantasy at
s
You can check at midnight online

I think they usually say if they're available online, but most of them are not.  The last couple of years, their servers crashed because so many people were trying to get online to buy.  If you really want it, it's best to go to the store before work.  Lots of people do it or have someone else who's going pick it up for you.


Agree! Unbelievable! I'll have much more to say after midnight ; )
x
Oh my God. Phone rang last night around midnight. I had just sm
fallen asleep. As soon as it rang, I knew she had passed. But I wasn't expecting to hear what happened next.

My dad was very soft spoken and clearly upset and said, "Tommy (the uncle who was the nurse for her I was telling you about) killed himself too."

I just fell to the ground. We were close to. I had a long conversation with him before I left. He showed no signs of wanting to commit suicide, though I know it's the ones who never show it who actually do.

I haven't slept a wink. How do you move past something so horrific in your family?

I just held my cellphone all last night clinging to the hope that it wasn't true or for some angel to call me and console me. Neither happened.

This morning, I learned that he got into his truck, went onto a busy 2-way Oklahoma highway and tried to hit a tractor-trailer head-on but missed....Don't know what he hit, but he still died. He wasn't even 60.

My whole family will never be the same. This is so, so, so awful.

I called my Bible study teacher this morning and I would like to meet her for breakfast because she is so amazing and full of wisdom. She hasn't called me back yet. I'm literally taking this one minute at a time. This sucks.

K
Night person all the way...Around midnight I'm ready to roll!!! nm
n
after my shift...sm
I was in Walmart for 10 minutes because there was non-Christmas stuff that I needed and then I went to the grocery store, which was not crowded at all. I was going to go to Target for 1 thing until I saw the parking lot. Not a chance! That 1 thing wasn't that important. This is the first time I've gone shopping on Black Friday in years. It was good to reminded why I don't do it.
Our local Value City is having door busters from Midnight Thurs -5 AM Fri. nm
x
Just finished my shift...sm
Hi SAM!  It felt like such a loooong shift with all the tough dictators.  But that is behind me now.  Weatherwise, we hit 70 degrees once so far, now back down to the low 50s.  I love how the days are getting longer.    Enjoy the rest of your weekend!
My DH works 2nd shift and does not always get to see our son's FB games and sm
never can go to his practices. I sit with other parents rather than alone or with strangers. Sometimes it is moms, sometimes dads. It is really the same as sitting with other fans at a pro baseball or football games. It is easier and more fun to sit with someone that shares the excitement with you. It is 100% innocent most of the time. In fact, I have not seen it otherwise EVER.
Getting mom, a 3rd shift LPN, on xmas mornin...

My dad would go out and start up the car to get it all heated, and we'd head out early to get coffee and doughnuts and pick mom up at work on Christmas morning.  She always worked Christmas Eve so she could be off on Christmas Day to be with all of us. 


There was always lots of snow during Christmastime then and the long drive to the ol' "Hunt Hospital" was always just so beautiful....no traffic, just beautiful back roads with pine boughs heavy with snow hanging over the power lines....


Try to work an earlier shift. Your

daughter should be able to keep herself busy with homework, chores, etc, until you get done working.  Then when you aren't working, let her have her friends over or take her to a friend's house.  You don't need to be distracted when you are working, especially in our line of work.  She will just have to understand.  But I would let her have her time with her friends when you are off.  It will be less distracting for you and you won't have to jump up to see what is going on.


I also work a split shift.
I stay in my pajamas as long as I can.  After work I chill and then do whatever chores around the house, and then take a shower and make myself somewhat "presentable" by the time everybody gets home.
Haven't started my shift yet

I'm much too busy fighing with Bank of America about a hold they put on a check I deposited through the ATM on Monday.  My checking account was over drawn.  So they HOLD the check for 11 business days.  How does that help me not be over drawn any more?????????????


After numerous phone calls and a trip to the local branch, I finally got someone who knew more than the rest and has pointed me in the right direction.  His name is Marlin.  I love him.


Ha, My shift ended at 6am, but we're on (perpetual) OT
x
If you are reading during night shift - do NOT play maze game
I know you are curious, but please refrain from playing the maze game until the sun comes up!!
Does your husband or significant other do this? Just now, at 7:30, my husband came home from sm

playing sports with a friend.  After showering he comes downstairs naked and tries to start a conversation with me. My "office" is in the living room and he is standing in back of the couch so I can't see any private parts, just him without his shirt, but I can see enough to know he clearly is naked! I think he wants me to be amused or get turned on or something, but I'm not amused one bit. In fact, I keep working and basically ignore him.


Poor guy. I swear he thinks he's Vince Vaughn or something. I should at least smile at him but all I want to tell him is to put some clothes on! ugh!


My feelings; people shacking up together for years and years
and then all of a sudden deciding to get married don't need a thing, obviously. A shower should not even be given. I lived with my now husband a while (nowadays who doesn't!) before we married and I also had been married before years ago but he was not....so of course HIS mom wanted a shower. I told her absolutely not unless it was just the immediate family, his mom, sisters, etc, more like a celebration/get together. And so that's what we did. Showers are tacky, period. Unless it's a couple of young kids getting married straight out of the house and that doesn't happen much anymore.
Been with a man 13 years older, now with a man 4 years younger.
Younger is better, at least in my case ;)
Sorry, meant 75 cents. Still, that was years and years ago.
xx
I studied to be a scopist years and years ago
Back in the early 1990s I took a course called Note reader Scopist. They read court reporter notes (those long skinny papers that looks like a cash receipt) and types them into documents. I had found the course through something called At Home Professions but just didn't finish it because it was too expensive for me. But I am familiar with them and even found my book from the first course I took. Looking back I think it would have been a blast if I had kept up with it.

It is definitely legitimate. A lot has changed since the early 90s, so I'm not too familiar with the industry now. I do remember what was really weird was it didn't take a lot for me to learn it. For instance I could look at a line of court notes and see something that looked like: NV p srn - and I seemed to know exactly what it said. Just weird. My DH used to say that I understood it because I was an alien and my ship crashed in Roswell. HA HA HA Anyway...that's what I know about it. But if you Google note reader scopist or at home professions i'm sure you could probably find a lot of info.
I have been vegetarian on/off for 35 years, was vegan for about 5 years sm
not that hard. Right now, I am having so many issues with food allergies and celiac disease, having to give up nightshade veggies...nothing left to eat. I am eating some meat now, but not when the gastroparesis sets in!

Being vegan is not hard...unless you are a celiac. This is how I figured out the celiac part because so many of the meat analogs and vegan packaged foods use gluten for the protein and I got really sick from it. I gave up all the premade things and the whole grains with gluten and I was fine.

There is vegan and then there is VE-GAN. By definition, vegans don't wear, use or consume anything that is derived of animals...no leather shoes, most shampoos and toothpastes are off the list, as are deodorants. No wool or silk. Anything with soap usually has animal byproducts. It is very involved and rather difficult to do.

Giving up meat, eggs and dairy is no big deal, except for cheese. You hear that ad about "comfort proteins" in a baby formula and there is such a thing. Mother's milk, be it human, cow, goat, whatever...contains a chemical that triggers the release of endorphins in the brain so that feeding feels good in more ways than one. The purpose of this is ensure that the nursed young want to nurse and thrive. Human milk has a lot of these, so does cow's milk and cow juice triggers the same reaction in the adult human brain. Cheese is concentrated milk and therefore these chemicals are also concentrated. As a result, cheese is an addictive substance. This is the hardest thing to give up when going vegan. Vegan cheese substitutes are nasty and they don't melt. If a dairy-free cheese melts, it contains casein, an animal protein and not vegan.
I studied this years and years and years ago
Most definitely is legitimate. In the late 1980s I studied to be a note reader scopist through a group called At Home Professions. I loved it, but unfortunately could not continue due to no funds. It was reading the court reporters notes which looked like a grocery receipt with a bunch of letters scattered on it. The weird thing was I found it extremely easy. For instance I would see a line that looked like: av e cr, and for some reason I would know what it said. My DH told me that's because I'm an alien and my ship landed in Roswell. HA HA. Well I know that a lot has changed, after all it's been over 20 years since I took the first course and know a lot of it is computerized now, but it is most definitely legitimate and I've heard people like to do it. I think I remember one of the courses was in medical terminology and another course was in legal terminology. Should be able to find a lot of it on google, or maybe go to your local college if they offer it and talk to an instructor.
This has happened for years and years, where have you been?
Frank Sinatra, Elvis, the Beatles, and on and on. This person is acting very normal like the age she is. You would have to have been under a rock to think differently, like this was an abnormal behavior....
Lost my mom 23 years ago and dad 18 years ago.
My son was not even 1 when my mom died....she was only 50.  My dad died at age 59.  So even though I feel your pain....I would have been very grateful to have them into their 80's.  I guess we take what we get and be thankful.  Sometimes it is hard though. 
I was married for 13 years and 2 years
after my divorce I met the most incredible man. He was also divorced, we both have 2 kids, and though we are not married, we have been together for 9 years. They are still out there, you may have to go through a few marginal ones before you find him, but they are out there and available.
My husband is the same way
Something about guys and their cars. I have no kids though and recently married so we still do some of our banking and bills separately by my choice. I thought he was being selfish too. So I got myself a 2nd part time job and I recently went out and bought a newer, bigger, fully loaded SUV and I don't let him use it! lol
My husband and I are doing it right now
and it is working, slowly but surely.  After the first couple of things are paid off, its gets better and faster.  We have a poster board with all our debt and we redo it every three months, and I must say that you see the debt going away.   My hubbie cut all my credit cards up, and I was upset but in the scheme of things, it was the best.  We only have one income and its working.  Give it a try, I think you'll be surprised that it actually does work.  My friend is also doing it, and their debt is disappearing also.
My husband and I did think of it. NM
x
What is your husband's take on that? nm
x
Go for it! I met my husband .....sm
2 months after his wife died from a 3 year bout with cancer and we're very happily married.

Good luck!!!
My husband always tries, although he just
doesn't necessarily have the same taste as me. It is a hit and miss with him, but he always tries. This year we did not exchange gifts (agreed upon ahead of time) because I got a new house and he got a new truck. We concentrated on the kids. The only gripe I really have is that he doesn't do much in the way of getting me gifts from the kids on Mother's Day, and he's not much of a card person, although I am.

He helped me clean all week though, did anything I asked pretty much, cleaned up all day today, etc.

Honestly though, I do not agree with the posts below about making a list. I think that a gift should come from the heart and that some thought should be put into it. Things that I just want, I go get them myself.
My husband and I have 2

roundtrip airfare tickets for anywhere in the US.  I'm looking for an all-inclusive resort (room, meals, activities), but am having a hard time finding one.  Can you help me out with this?  Thanks!


My husband
used this for his leg pain due to fibromyalgia but had a very bad reaction to it so was not able to continue to use it. He found a natural supplement online that has helped. Best of luck!!
So, you would be okay with your husband
nm
This is what my husband (sm)
told me last night. I really hope that isn't what is going on. I am going to talk to her again about it again today. She has a cell phone (very near and dear to her heart!) I like for her to have it, so that I know she is okay when she isn't home, but since I now know that she is still smoking, I think I have very good reason to ground her. Hence, she won't be needing the cell phone.

Thanks for the input everyone.
My husband only uses
regular lotion, but he does like to take baths sometimes. He was glad when we moved and got a garden tub so he could soak. He doesn't go out of his way to use bubbles, but he will take one with me with bubbles.
Met my first husband when I was 5, LOL - sm
First crush was Greg. I met him when I was 5. We played together at church. We started "going together" when I was 13. We got married when I was 18. We got divorced when I was 32. Tried again several times. Finally called it quits when I was 37...sigh.

Then there was Stacy....we were together for two years.

Then there is Tommy, we have been together for three years - married for two years.

My husband was the one who
donated the sperm and had it washed, the doctor performed the IUI, and nature created twins. It was a WE effort in my case.
This is your husband
If there's one person in the world you should be honest with, it's your husband.  Don't lie about this, this is BIG...just explain to him your feelings and if he loves you and you love him, you can work it out and make both of you happy.  But lying WILL come back to bite you in the a$$...trust me, I know...good luck!
My husband was gay
We've been divorced for a while now, but it still hurts like crazy. I don't know anyone who has been through this. Is there anyone out there who's spouse came out to them?
My husband did!
He had to have surgery because otherwise the muscles would have atrophied. Because lifting was required for his job, he was out on disability for 4 months. However, soon afterward a radiologist I knew had it done, and he only took 1 day off and then was back at work, not complaining, and not taking strong pain killers. My hubby is a big guy, and it was hard on him, but he's able to work fine now. He has also had cervical spinal fusion, and the rotator cuff was worse for him, oddly enough.
Husband and I have dog and cat instead!
Kids...no thank you! Decided at around 12-13 or so that I didn't want any. I'm 30 now and haven't changed my mind and don't plan to.