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My latest funny . . .

Posted By: ss on 2006-10-28
In Reply to: Just typed this a few minutes ago... - PAMT~MDM

"The patient is a 64-year-old woman involved in a motor vehicle accident where she hit a pole. The pole was not injured."


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Yep, but that is not all… the latest
This "mother" has been seen out in the video store shopping, has been treated for mental disorders (well, duh, that was hard to figure out)and the doctor responsible for the invitro has just "helped" another woman who has, I think 4 children already with 4 more embryos just waiting to hatch anytime.
I would say: 24 to 37, latest....nm
nm
you can only have one will, the latest one written...

You can have one will from one departed person per beneficiary...


If Anna had 7 wills for Daniel from herself, they have to go by the latest dated one.........


.


 


Had to laugh at the latest guy, who said he had
'too much pressure from his multi-million-dollar salary' they were paying him. So he felt it was necessary to bulk up on the 'roids and cheat.

Here's my answer to the steroid problem in sports: TAKE AWAY THEIR BLOATED, OVER-PAID SALARIES!

After all - these guys make their living playing a GAME. Maybe they should be doing it more for the love of their sport, and less for the *rock-star* money.
Latest on megamom, OMG
Supposedly Angelina Jolie had been contacted in the past by this megamom and Jolie is supposedly "creeped out" by this. Megamom's  representative says if this litter was born 3 or 4 years ago people would have been more giving of their money.
Latest on Britney....check it out
 

On Friday night, Britney Spears sported a bald head and new tattos.  (ABC News)


I agree with latest post
It would be ideal if you could handle it with your SIL, but not always possible. I would begin talking to your child instead and explain that just because someone says they will do something doesn't always mean they will and there could be lots of reasons. He may as well learn it now, or he will defitely learn it later and then it may be about something much more significant and even more hurtful. I hope things get better with her. Oh! Maybe (if she has a child) you could "forget" the present and say you will bring it by later and then really DO it. That may make a point w/o having to be confrontational and jeopardizing your relationship. Just a thought. Good luck!
Latest on Lindsay Lohan at tmz.com. wow.

So anyone interested in gossip should check out tmz.com.  They interviewed 3 guys who were in the car with her, and according to them she jumped in a car that wasn't hers that had the 3 guys in it, ran over a guy's foot, chased another vehicle at about 100 mph, said that she could do whatever she wanted because she was a celebrity, circled the car numerous times, lost that car, and then chased another vehicle all the way to the police station.  She supposedly ran numerous red lights and stop signs and obviously could have killed any number of people!


Then to top it off she supposedly tells the police "The black guy was driving."  How horrible.  Zero respect for her now.  I will never watch another one of her movies.  I hope they throw the book at her!  She's obviously a danger and should not have been let out on bail imo.  (kam) 


??? Hist latest book
All you James Patterson fans out there, if you've read his latest, "You've Been Warned," please tell me your take on it.  He is one of my favorite authors, but this book left me hanging.  It keeps hyping and building the reader up; you think, 'surely the next chapter will explain everything,' but it never does.  So many weird things happen throughout the book that are never explained, and the ending, well that was just plain weird.
I would take him over the latest real estate listing
NM
The latest on this looney-tune story
Her family has asked that the public not judge her. I heard this morning she was a mother first and foremost. She has 3 children but like I have stated many times before, you NEVER know what a person might do. Being first and foremost did not stop this person for being charged with attempted murder. My hubby also stated if you had to wear a diaper as an adult, surely you would not want millions to know about it. I feel sorry for her family.
Yes, I saw it (no spoilers unless you haven't seen the latest episode)

Not a whole lot of new information, just mostly confirmation of things that are already known, like yes, Desmond's failure to reset the computer was the cause of the airplane crash and later when Desmond turned the key it did temporarily make the island visible so Penny knows about it - but they didn't follow up on that. This is my guess - but presumably the ship that the woman who parachuted onto the island is trying to contact was sent by Penny.


They touched on the idea of the interconnectedness of these people but very lightly - just hinted that there was something that brought this particular group of people together. Interestingly, they didn't say anything at all about the people from the tail section, but the show that was run last night was only 45 minutes because Grey's Anatomy ran 15 minutes over. The one that will be shown next Wednesday is a full hour - I'm going to watch that, too.


The main thing (as far as I'm concerned) is they reiterated that this is not purgatory or anything like that, everyone is actually alive, but they said they are....let me think....."somewhere in the space-time continuum."


Interesting....


Has anyone done all the latest updates for Window and did you have any problems. nm
:
Me too! My latest obsession are shoes from a store on e bay
They are called cutsey shoes and I get a pair or two with each pay period. I know it has to end, but they are so cute and not expensive. I am kicking the e bay habit but there's still always room for shoe bids as far as I am concerned. Though I never wear shoes at home and I am there most of the time because I work at home too. LOL.
latest update on 16-year-old daughter.
Well, I did it. I told my husband. He had a good stern talking with her about how what she is doing is not good and will not be tolerated, and told her that the rules were expected to be abided by. He grounded her for 2 weeks and we took away her license and car keys. She is beside herself and of course hates me more than anything because I betrayed her to her dad. Go figure. Anyway, now she states that there is no way she will stay in this house and will just run away. Or she will get a job and as soon as she can get some money together, she will emancipate herself from us. My husband told her that if she runs away, the next step will be something like military school. What a mess. He says we have to be tough or she won't get the message. This is so hard for me. I feel like I lost her. She wants nothing to do with me. I just hope and pray that someday she will understand that I did what I think is best for her.

At least now he knows and he can help me handle it. If she does run away, at least now he knows. I told her I love her more than life and I am doing this for her own good. She just reiterated how much she hates me.(sigh)

Thanks for all the good advice everyone. Please pray for me and my daughter. I never thought being a parent could be this hard.
sounds like the Oprah latest saga. LOL.
not worthy of acknowledging.
The latest news on the death of Jett Travolta...

Posted Jan 4th 2009 10:45AM by TMZ Staff


There's a conflict brewing between the Bahama PD and John Travolta's camp regarding the time line of Jett Travolta's death.


People who are with Travolta are bristling at the suggestion Jett might have been left unattended for more than 10 hours, but this morning cops say they are sticking to their story. Meanwhile, we've learned Jett had suffered from grand mal seizures in the past and had taken anti-seizure medicine which the Travolta's say did not work, so the medication was stopped.


As for the time line, we're told Jett, his family and his two nannies had been boating on January 1. They returned to their townhouse at the Old Bahama Bay Hotel at around 6 PM. Jett was tired, went into his bedroom and went to sleep.


We're told nanny Jeff Kathrein watched TV in the adjoining room. The other nanny, Eli, returned to the townhouse at around 11:30 PM. Both Jeff and Eli turned in at around that time. After Jeff got up, he went into the bathroom and discovered Jett laying on the floor.


As for when Jett was last seen, cops say it was the at around 11:30 the night of January 1, when he went to the bathroom. Michael McDermott, John Travolta's lawyer and close friend, says Eli or Jeff may have gone into that bathroom during the middle of the night so the time frame would have been compressed.


McDermott also tells TMZ when Jeff and John Travolta administered CPR there may have been signs of life -- as in there may have been some respiratory function -- though that is not confirmed.


We're told Jett's disabilities included the inability to communicate well, in addition to some physical disabilities. As a result, there was a baby monitor in his room as well as a chime on the bathroom door. It's unclear if the two nannies slept through any signs of movement. The townhouse is relatively small -- around 1,000 square feet -- and the nannies and Jett were all on the bottom floor.


McDermott told us it's not unusual for Jett to sleep 12, even 16 hours a day, so Jett not being present is not unusual.


As for cause of death, the coroner will presumably determine that tomorrow.


As for John Travolta and Kelly Preston, McDermott tells us "they stopped crying long enough last night to try to write a press statement, which they haven't finished."


LATEST BREAKING NEWS ON BABY MAMA DRAMA
Howard Stern has just testified in court in Florida that he and Anna Marie did not have an exclusive only relationship- well, that did not take a rocket scientist to figure out with all the possible daddies coming forward, huh?
Maybe not, I just saw Antonella is the latest pick on that website - vote for the worst!
x
Latest in long line of idiots in civil service -

The poor kid told a supervisor and another employee, obviously concerned about her mistake, and they okayed the serving of the meat anyway. 


Hope some hot shot lawyer comes to her aid.  This is beyond ridiculous. 


Gee, maybe we should all have food servers arrested the next time they put onions on our burgers if we ask for NO ONIONS! 


Where is that guy who follows the NY cops around filming them when they break the law in the course of duty?!    Hope he picks up on this one.


Hope the link works.


 


You're so funny!!! That's what I wanted - funny redneck stories
Just kinda tired of my house looking like Sanford and Son - LOL!
That is too funny... I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time.
ss
Funny looking Bob with the funny looking wife

Thats funny!! Thanx
x
too funny !!!

It's funny that you say this...
about "sounding rude". I wonder how much time your in laws and family members actually put into their decision before asking you to care for their mother? I wonder if it has even occurred to them that they are being rude to even consider asking this of you when there are professionals who can do this and should do this for their mother?

Believe me, you have no idea how much of yourself you actually lose when thrown into a situation that's convenient for everyone else. Believe me, everyone else has figured out how to say "no" by passing the responsibility on to you so that they can continue their lives without being inconvenienced.

However, you're right in being polite; however, you can still say "no" and not be rude. Don't feel guilty either for not playing the martyr.


This is so funny!!! LOL!!

I have an 18-year-old son who LOVES to be on the computer doing the instant message thing.  He knows all the lingo, codes, blah blah blah.  Well, he is not used to the Short Hand being on on my computer, but sometimes he uses my computer when I am not working.  Can you see where I am going with this?


Anyway, he (and probably a dozen other of his buddies) were instant messaging each other on line.  So my son needs to go do something and he just typed BRB for "be right back."  He jumped up and did not see this expand to BRIGHT RED BLOOD.


LOLOL.  Frantically, word travelled through cyberspace that something must have happened because he just typed in bright red blood and left.  When he finally went back to his screen he had all these worried messages...are you all right?  what happened???  are you alive???


I got the best laugh out of that!  He had to explain to everyone who had "heard" just  what had happened and now he is much more careful.


 


How funny - if he
had put that in on my computer it would be "bright red blood per rectum"  Not a great idea!  
Oh, that's funny!

That must be the game system that I have heard talked about and someone laughingly said that this game would actually give you carpal tunnel, pulled muscles, etc. 


 


Lynn


Funny...
//
How funny!
Gave me a good laugh, which I needed! Thanks.
Funny too how you can think that you like
they have made here, and then all of the sudden realize they are not as nice as they seem by other posts that they make.
funny

Born and bred Texas, but never heard that before - i'm trying to figure out if it could be a compliment ???


This is funny because.....
I grew up with these sayings and use these all the time in my everyday talking without thinking about it. Hubby comes to me all the time when things he hears at work asking me what does this mean, such as "buying a pig in a poke", "don’t look a gift horse in the mouth", "leaving someone high and dry", so many, so little time.....I throw these around because where I came from everyone knows what they mean and we think nothing about using them. Bless his little short self he doesn’t know and I laugh when he tells me to speak "English."
LOL! Too funny . . .
When I told my son (after a couple of years of him questioning it because peers had already told him), he said, "The thing that made it most believable is that we never have a lot of money, but there is always so much cool stuff on Christmas morning!"
Too funny! >^..^<

My funny
One of my ESL doctors said the patient's lower extremities have disappeared. LOL.
That is too funny!

that was funny!...nm

nm


 


and that would be me...*how funny*....s/m

  And I'm a woman of my word - I never steer people wrong, rarely give unsolicited advice, and let me state it was fun emailing with you today!!  *giggling*......Nice to put the people with their posts...*lol*  I never put a name in but you know my name as I do yours now. 


*too funny*   


Have a GREAT evening :) 


 


OMG! That's too funny!
She's so adorable though I think I can overlook it!
Funny you should say that (sm)
We were watching the news while eating breakfast this morning and they had bad reviews of Premonition, and I told DH, "Well if they don't like it, I'll probably love it".  That's what usually happens.
That is too funny, and just to think my
hubby told me just today he had to give colas up, hmmm..
Funny, my mom too!
And I have used everything else you can think of, now 40-something, and my skin looks like crap :( Gonna get me some of that miracle potion too!
That's so funny! sm

The strange thing is, I've seen adult birds (I don't know what kind, but they aren't very big - not crows or anything) harrass the cats far more than the other way around.  The birds will dive-bomb the cats if they dare to walk out in the open, and the cats just duck their head down and run to get away. 


I've always wondered why the cats put up with it, why they don't just stand their ground and swat at the bird.  I think the birds must be protecting a nest to be this bold.  I've seen them dive-bomb our dogs too.  It seems there is always one bird who will "stand watch" and become very vocal if anyone (us, dogs, cats) go into the yard.  I halfway expect them to dive-bomb me one of these days.  They aren't foolin' around! 


that's really FUNNY!!! ..........s/m

I don't know how that would happen...unless Diana is *padding* her age. 


All I can say is I was at the Brooklyn Fox Theater with my older sister MANY times standing outside waiting to see shows with Little Anthony and the Imperials, Otis Redding, Martha and the Vandellas, Smoky Robinson and the Miracles, the Shirelles, and many many other groups when I was 12.  I also saw similar groups at the Apollo Theater in Harlem when my school took us all there when I was 16, was the last time I/we ever saw Otis Redding unfortunately.  The Tymes and the Shirelles came to my high school for the graduation/prom events to perform.


Diana Ross and the Supremes...I cannot remember if they were there at the Brooklyn Fox theater....they were not at the Apollo when I was there, but I loved the Supremes songs...I was such a Motown person, still  love that era of music/songs.


fun reminiscing.....


lol, funny!
x
seems funny to me....
Jay Leno is one to make fun.  He looks like the moon face on the old Mac tonight McDonald commercials. 
LOL that is so funny- I used to think
that all cats were girls and all dogs were boys and that they would get married (yes, married) and have mixed litters of both. I can't remember where I got that idea, though.
You funny.
Not freaky.
How funny!
I found him creepy when he was younger and grinned too much, but now I find him cute.

But Brad Pitt annoys me because of the characters he's played (so immature). And for the longest time I saw him as a Robert Redford clone, physically. How is it they never played father and son?