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No, I would not go. If that means he goes and you spend TG by yourself so be it.

Posted By: Been there on 2006-11-18
In Reply to: Important addition to MIL problem directly below this posting - Sue

After enduring 13 years of the "in-laws" I gave my husband an ultimatum - either them or me and I meant it. I was not putting up with them anymore. Fortunately, he chose me and his kids, and our lives have been so peaceful for the past 6 years without them in it! I just severed the ties.

Good luck with your situation. I really feel for you.

My mom always says "stay away from those who disrupt your inner peace." I listened to her advice.


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No just spend a day there. nm
:
I think this is about what I spend
I'm not sure yet, but I think it's about $200 a month. But there are people posting who spend less than that for several people!

I hardly ever use coupons. It just seems like most of the time they are for stuff I never use. No one doubles coupons up here, ever. This mountain community caters to tourists, so things are more expensive on the weekends, when the skiers and boaters are here. I avoid going to town at those times.
I pay $85 in a big city, but she does spend 45 sm

minutes or so washing, cutting and styling may between chin and shoulder length hair.  Five minutes is ridiculous.  I don't see how they can even do a good job in that amount of time.


Yes, I know $85 is high (plus tip).  I have just had so many hack jobs at less money that I got scared and went to a trendier place in the city.


For so many of the students they spend more
time with the teacher than they do with their parents. These teachers are preparing these kids to be the future of our country someday. Look at the money that atheletes make for playing a game. It is ridiculous.
Spend most of the $$$ on the grandkids now.
Give our four kids and spouses $50.00 per couple to purchase something they would like. Usually my husband will give the men a pocket knife or some small tool (under $15.00) the women get a Christmas ornament for the tree each year. Used to spend more on them before they had their own children. Probably spend $75.00 each on each of the seven grandchildren. Always ask for nothing from them, as I feel that Christmas is really for the kids and now grandkids. They don't need to spend their money on us and we really need nothing. I usually will spend about $200.00 on my husband. Don't exchange with parents per their request (only 1 set left), or with my or DH siblings (too many). Just happy if everyone can stop by for the dinner which we hold every year for the family. Also, I pick things up all through the year, to help spread out the spending, which helps.
Make sure you lie down and spend
some time on several. We are happy with ours, and I think it's a Sealy. It's the one that doesn't transfer motion because DH is bigger than me and he moves around a lot.
Make sure you lie down and spend
some time on several. We are happy with ours, and I think it's a Sealy. It's the one that doesn't transfer motion because DH is bigger than me and he moves around a lot. Ours has a pillow topper. I believe it's best to have layers of different types of foam for the most comfort.

I hear bad things about the memory foam types. Not only do many people find them hot, they don't perform well for activities that aren't sleeping, if you know what I mean. I've never had one, but the problem was described as feeling stuck and not being able to move right.

I think the adjustable air mattresses sound like a ripoff and I was not impressed when DH insisted I lie down on one at the store.
How much do you spend on groceries....
per month, & how many in your family? Anything special adding to (or subtracting from) the bill, like vegetarian diet? What part of the country do you live in?

Just curious.
I'm in Florida and spend about $175/wk for 5 sm

I'm in Florida, and it is me, my husband, our 2 kids (son 7 and daughter 11), and my father-in-law, and I swear my FIL, who is 5Ǝ" and 158 lbs, eats more than my husband, who is 6Ɖ" and 345 lbs. FIL had to have a feeding tube put in last July, and I had to cut down meals by half because we were having so many leftovers and wasting money. Just when I thought I had it figured out, he was able to get the tube removed, so I'm back to making meals for an army. I just wish I had his metabolism as he just does not seem to gain weight and even had to go on high-calorie Ensure when he had the feeding tube to gain weight. I shudder to think of what my grocery bill will be when my son hits puberty  I don't buy stuff for lunches here at home as we (FIL and I) will just eat a sandwich or leftovers from the fridge


As far as special foods, we don't really buy anything out of the ordinary. I buy frozen vegetables instead of canned unless it is for a recipe, and for a while we were buying meat at a butcher shop but have had to cut that out for now. It was really good but was close to DH's work, and if he couldn't pick it up while he was in the area, it was a 45-minute drive. I cook most things from scratch, except lasagna because I hate making it. Once a month, we have a luncheon at church that I bring a dish and a dessert, and I cook Wednesday night dinner there one night per month, but I get reimbursed for the Wednesday night dinner. I do include paper products and toiletries in with my grocery budget but that's it, and I usually go to Sam's once a month for those.


I have it easy compared to my parents though. My dad got paid once a month, and there were 4 kids at home all the time, 5 when my sister came up during the summer. They used to have 3 grocery carts slap full of food, and my mom figured out that it took something like 18 boxes of cereal to last a month, each one with a date marked on it so we didn't go through them too quickly. And to keep my brother from using a mixing bowl and a serving spoon to eat cereal  We also had a freezer to keep extra bread and other things, and my mom also used to mix in powdered milk when the gallon was half-way gone. I never knew until I was grown, so she definitely blended it well.


I think I spend less at the store when

we eat out/order in.  Of course, then our "entertaining" budget increases.  But some things are cheaper to just order in.  For example, pizzas -- I can get 2 large pepperoni pizzas from the local pizzeria for under $20.  If I buy them in the store, I spend about $15 and then have to cook them and my kids don't like the frozen kind as well.  The frozen kind are also smaller.


I just got groceries this past Friday and spent $200.  I had an entire cart full.  In addition to the coupons I had, I also had a 20% discount on everything (one of those reward plans for spending so much the previous 2 months).  I got value packs of skinless/boneless chicken breasts - buy 1 get 1 free -- $15 packs of chicken, breakfast sausage on sale, ham steaks on sale, plus my 20% off all that. 


Overall, I think I spend somewhere around $150 a week on groceries.  There are 5 of us -- me, my hubs, and 3 boys -- ages 6 to 11. 


What I notice that I spend more on are school lunches.  It costs $2.00 a day per child and I don't think they actually eat it.  I'm thinking about packing my kids' lunches each day.  $2/day x 3 kids = $6/day x 5 days/week = $30/week x 4 weeks/month = $120 for lunch.  YIKES!!! I think I can do better than that if I pack them.


Will spend about $300 for the grandkids..
we don't buy for anyone else. DH and I buy what we want throughout the year. This year though he wants a metal detector, probably around $1200 and I have the same amount to do something with. We don't really buy gifts for each other but we do go away for Christmas week to a cabin in the mountains that we rent, no phone, no TV, have to drive 12 miles to get cell service. We relax, read, snowshoe, ski, bring the portable DVD player and catch up on movies, sleep late. That's our gift to each other.
maybe you should spend some more money
seriously
right!!???okay... they say they want us to spend money
to stimulate the economy

spending money is good...

okay... gonna give me some?

I really think some people/media are out of touch.

Good thing I work 10 hours a day. Otherwise, watching news, which is pretty much all I watch in my off time (a few murder real stuff shows), would drive me nuts.
just spend time only with him, get him something just for him. Hug him.
nm
The Obamas spend too much.... SO MAD
Seems to me like the Obama's don't have very good budget planning skills, at home or in the "office".  People are losing their jobs, just like all the people laid off from Crystler, and hey she is wearing $600 shoes!!!! What a great example!!!
I wouldn't spend so much as a penny... sm

At any store that sells puppies and kittens.  Why?  Because they all come from puppy mills or other questionable "breeders" (despite their denials).  I would never put money in the pockets of a puppy miller. 


No its not unreasonable and I do want them to spend time with her (sm)
I try to be as encouraging as I can and I tell them how much she loves them. But honestly when they find out they have to go, they cry every time they think about it, even if it is days away, and then cry all the way there.
Do they spend time with your parents
and willingly or just how is time split up between the g'parents?
We all have a right to choose how we spend our time (sm)
If that makes you happy then fine. That would not make me happy. I am not "simpering" or helpless. Also not a slave.
He really doesn't want to spend his only vacation like that either and his ...sm
solution is to blow them off at the last minute with some kind of excuse.

I say we let them know now so his sister and nephew don't get there hopes up for the next six months.
You are right, for a woman to spend all her years
just raising her family and making a home, she probably would get more than us working people. I still would go for the jugular.
Yes, I spend 'way too much of my life in this - sm
chair! Good thing it's super-comfy! This is a really old house on a steep hill, and the whole house tilts a bit, so when I'm at my computer, everything leans leftwards!

This is my view from my computer desk, and why I have trouble concentrating on my monitor all day!

I'm in Delaware also and spend about $150 a week plus sm
send care packages to my son in college. I also go every two weeks and my bill comes to about $300. I wait until my fridge is empty and my cupboards are half empty. Then, I muster up the energy to do the food shopping. I hate that job.......

If my hubby goes, he spends way less and buys only sale items. I, on the other hand, like to buy all the goodies....

How much do you spend on Christmas gifts?

Is it the same budget every year, or with the economy the way it is will you cut back?  If you have small children, do you spend more than on others?


Just curious to see what people do moneywise.


 


For us who spend our lives listening
we all sure have a lot to say! Love it.
No, just telling the truth and I spend
my money on some bills monthly but mostly spend like I want as don’t have others I have to support. Buy things for my home, oh, I forgot I did not ask my association when I put the new granite counters in nor the marble in the bathroom, oh my, now I will have to report on myself I guess. To say one has to ask the association things you do for upkeep in your house is st**pid....
Okay, what does your family spend on lunch

What's the family lunch budget for kids and husbands?


  Us that work at home don't get a lunch budget I know


Poll: What do you spend your entertainment money on?

nm


How much to spend on stepkids Christmas gifts.SM

I have two stephchildren, 26 and 23. They are very sweet and we have a good relationship. Every year I have given them $50.00 each cash for Christmas. Needless to say, I'm an MT, so you have some idea of how much I make. 


I have one daughter. DH will ask me to buy a gift for him for her, which I have done. That is out of my pocket.


Does this sound right? No, really. Is this typical? Very honestly, I think Christmas is for children and that adults should not be exchanging gifts at all. Any thoughts on this whole matter? Thanks.


 


Your parents sort of invited themselves to spend -
the night at your place instead of their usual Christmas day routine. You were kind enough to offer to let them come with you to your husband's Christmas Eve party, but for whatever reason, they don't want to. I would just go on ahead to the party and have fun! You never know, maybe your parents would ENJOY just a quiet evening at your house after the long drive.

They still have THREE choices: Stay at your place by themselves, go along with you, or go back and do it the original way, coming to see you just on Christmas Day. The ball's in their court. And think how disappointed your husband's folks, plus all the cousins, etc. would be if you two didn't go.

I suppose the fourth option is for him to go alone and you to stay home lone with your folks, but that doesn't sound very fun. So I'd do the party, and you'll get to see BOTH sets of parents, and they'll both get to see you.
I was born in NYC, spend most of my life in Boston... so
I'm gonna watch the Law and Order CI/SVU marathon. HA.
(avoiding the superbowl entirely, can't decide who to root for, and besides L@O marathon rocks) with a side of pizza and pepsi! Life is good.
Live in Oregon, just DH and me, spend about 400 a month...
give or take including cat supplies. Costco every 4 to 5 weeks. Love really good bread, yogurt, real half and half for my coffee and fresh fruit and veggies no matter what the cost. Eat out on an average of 4 times a week, lunch or dinner on our days off, not fast food (Ugh). Cook everything from scratch, no boxes or cans here, except for pasta. I don't eat red meat on a regular basis, chicken every now and then, but DH gets his steak, chops, whatever, ( I get the big pkg at Costco) at least twice a week. I have only seen a spike in dairy and bread products, but I won't buy cheap, to me it's not worth it; if I'm eating it, I want it to taste good and not be loaded with preservatives, etc. I'd rather spend 2.98 a pound for really good apples instead of 98 cents a pound for mealy ones. I'm Italian, so food is a religion for me and it better be good!
In Montana and just me and husband spend $400 a month..nm
nm
Four people and roughly spend about 700+ per month. sm
However that includes everything including cleaning products, oil for cars/semitruck, hygiene products, socks/panties (don't put those in the clothing budget), etc.
I don't keep track either. Poor budget planner. Spend way too much - around $2k. nm
x
I'd give the teen whatever you spend on shirts for the younger one &
s
We didn't even spend half that amount on each of our kids.
Of course, our kids told us about their spoiled rotten friends who all got electric guitars, multiple gaming systems, flat panel TVs for their bedrooms, cell phones, mp3 players, etc. Then the little boy from across the street came over and told me what he got for Christmas, which wasn't much at all. I felt so bad for the little guy. If I had known they didn't have much, I would have bought for his family instead of my 25+ family and friends who don't even need anything. I refuse to buy into it all for my own kids. If they want all the electronics, they can work and save up for it, and then only with my permission. No unlimited Internet, no texting, no M, R or T rated movies and games. I just don't believe children need all that junk. DH and I grew up just fine without it.
Guilty! But I only work PT and do meet personal quota. Also spend too
s
Do you LOVE your husband? Want to spend your golden years with him?? Drop this fantasy at
s
Spend time w/friends who cook, take some adult ed cooking classes, or see
s
Today is my 1st weddding anniversary and my husband didn't spend time with me.?
Today is my 1st wedding anniversary! My husband woke up and went outside and spent all day working on his truck until it was time for him to go work. It has really hurt my feelings. Should I be worried that he may not be satisfied with being married to me?

It means...

I don't care for organized religion. I believe there are some truths in most religions - the Golden Rule, live a life of moderation, try to make the world a better place. I believe there are spiritual aspects to our existence, that we are not just bones and skin and blood, we are something more. As to exactly what that "more" consists of - I read, I study, I learn, I experience....maybe one day I'll figure it out. Or maybe not.


Don't know if this answers your question, but it's the best I can do.


perhaps? That means maybe...
.
So that means don't put his name in
the hat for gift exchange or expect him to help decorate or attend a party. I think the amount the company spends per employee on any parties (if they are the ones paying) could simply be given to him as a check. Other employees could be told they have this option also. Maybe there is somebody else who thinks it's a lot of nonsense but just kept their mouth shut, but now they have the option of getting a check.

That's what I'd do if I were the OM or giving ideas to the OM. I'd still decorate if the majority want to, but avoid using real greenery for a completely different reason - a lot of people are now extremely allergic to Christmas trees or boughs that have been treated with some chemical to extend their life.
what it means
When he calls you that name, it means he has contempt for you. When he projects everything to be your fault, he also holds you in contempt. This is verbal and emotional abuse. As far as punching the wall, the wall is the stand in for what he would like to do to you and he may eventually punch you. Take it from me, who was called every dirty name ever invented by my spouse and whose doors and walls had holes and dents.

I would put your well-being and that of your child first and seek therapy. It would be great if he went, but he sees you as the problem, and he may refuse to go. You can't fix him. He needs to fix himself.

As much as you may not want to hear this, leaving him may be the best thing for your own sanity and self-preservation and also so your child doesn't have to grow up in that environment.

If you can't afford therapy, there may be a battered woman's group in your area that can give you information and advice. I utilized my local group and found it very helpful.

The only regret that I have about my marriage is that I stayed in it far too long.
means.
x
I think she means
that with unstable dry sand, or even with sand of a wetter consistency, if a hole is too deep (over a child's head)it is possible for them to be in the hole and the sides collapse in on top of them. Just inform your kids that they cannot dig over a foot or so deep; make whatever limit you feel safe with. There's nothing to fear if they keep it shallow.

This happened to a man I knew years ago with dirt, not sand, but I agree it would be possible in sand and probably easier done. He was working in a ditch deeper than he was tall, and when it collapsed on top of him, it killed him. I do believe that is what 'SM' is warning against.
And that means?
Marriage is mostly a gamble. Some turn out alright, some don’t. I think it has nothing to do with the fact of the friend spilling her soul to a daughter.
thank you so much that means a lot to me
i'm in tears. I'm so glad you are happy.
I could be wrong but I think the OP means....sm

I read the OP's post as meaning if HEAVEN FORBID something happened either to their relationship (breaking up for example) or to her DH (heaven forbid but we don't know around the corner, eh?) - that she perhaps might want more children (with a 2nd husband is how I read this).  I don't read it as selfish - I read it as WHAT IF HE DIES.......and she chooses to get remarried or WHAT IF THEY DIVORCE and she chooses to get remarried. 


So, yeah, to the OP - the post made some *sense* to me as you were hoping it made to most of us.  Best luck! 


I don't think he is spoiled by any means..sm
he just likes natural food. There is nothing wrong with that. If it was my kitty though, and this is not meant to be judgemental so please don't take it that way, I would probably delay the vacation until the kitty was a little older. But that's just me.