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Darlin', I saw fight fire with fire. Oh, I know, it's not being the "bigger person" BU

Posted By: Tinks on 2006-11-18
In Reply to: Important addition to MIL problem directly below this posting - Sue

it's better than keeping it all inside and letting it fester.  Your MIL sounds like mine and your DH sounds like mine as well.  My husband doesn't want to deal with his mother, so he pretends he doesn't notice anything she says or does and the same goes for my FIL.  He knows how is wife is, but he just ignores it.  My husband will tell me privately "oh, you know how my mom is."  For about the first year of marriage, I bit my tongue with his mother.  But when I saw that my DH was never going to stand up for me, I decided to start biting back.  She would say stuff like "You like you've put on a little weight, sweetie." and I'd say "you look like you've put on a few years." 


My MIL and I have full on yell fests sometimes.  We don't speak to each other for weeks or months because we're mad, but we always make up.  Also, my DH has come around too.  He has gotten to where instead of ignoring comments that his mother makes, before I can come back at her, he'll jump in and let her know that what she said was not acceptable.  So now there are less fights because mommy doesn't like to be called out by her baby boy. 


I think for a long time my MIl was just jealous of me because she was the main woman in her son's life for years and that changed when I came into the picture.  So she turned every family gathering into a competition for her son's attention.  I hated the first years, but now being married 16 years, I really don't care if she gets all his attention when we get together.  Let her fix his food and tell him how great he is.  Gives me the day off. 




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Someone should set THEM on fire -sm
That is totally infuriating. Too bad the 3 months *confinement* doesn't include being confined to a burn ward with 3rd-degree-burns over 75% of THEIR bodies. At the very le3ast, they should be made to sit through watching someone in the tubs at a burn ward getting their skin pulled off piece by piece. Might be a real eye-opener. Also, I think their parents should be liable for the kitten's vet bills.

A few months ago there was a horrible video on YouTube where some jerk in the Philippines (who must've been missing more than a few chromosomes, just like those girls!)lit a caged rat on fire in the same manner. Then, as if that weren't bad enough, he took another caged rat and poured boiling water on it. When that didn't quite kill it, he set it on fire. I went after that guy with a vengeance... got his video pulled from YouTube, (and hopefully him banned from it permanently). Also got on some of the internet forums in the Philippines and tried to track him down so that cruelty charges could be filed against him, pointing out that people who torture & kill animals often go on to start doing it to humans...

Cotati isn't far from where I live, and there is also a man in that area that *adopts* kittens from the free ads and on Craigslist, and tortures & kills them. People have been trying to get that guy put away, but it's been an uphill battle.
But to fire someone for
wishing someone Merry Christmas?  That's what I'm talking about.  God forbid anyone says the word, "Christ." I wonder how long it will take before "In God We Trust" is removed from our money. 
Maybe if you start a fire in your
fireplace, your swamp cooler will be more effective!

Either that or get a dehumidifier.

I hate humidity also, and here I am in NC. Would you believe that when people are sick they sometimes run HUMIDIFIERS HERE?? Makes no sense to me when they could just step outside most of the time, and we have enough fungus amongus, LOL.
Big fire pit with table
and snowshoes.
Where there is smoke, there is fire...

Someone said consider the source.  So let's consider the source...


You don't know her and she doesn't know you.  Why would she seek you out to lie to you?


Apparently your husband does know her and was going to warn you beforehand that she might try to stir up trouble.  Why would she pick your marriage to stir up trouble in?  What bone of contention does she have with your husband?  What is his relationship with her? 


And if there is nothing to what she says as your husband suggests and that she is just trying to "stir up trouble" then why did he feel he needed to warn you? 


Sounds to me like he's covering his bases.  Personally, I think you husband has a lot of explaining to do and this advice of "keep quiet and take notes" is bunk.  Don't be the victim.  Listen to what your gut is telling you.  Something smells in your situation and I bet it's coming from hubbie.


Trust me when I say, men can look their wives in the eye and lie without batting an eye and when caught in a lie, they will practically hurt themselves trying to rationalize and justify.  Whatever is going on with your husband, you cannot deny that there are rumors out there that your husband feels he needs to squelch.  That's troublesome by itself.  Why would someone make up rumors about him?


Don't excuse him, don't treat him with kid gloves.  Confront him and find the truth.  You'll know it when you hear it.


He can light my fire! ;)
The Australian guy that sang the Doors song 'Light My Fire' is GOOD-LOOKING. Doesn't hurt that he sounds good also ;)
Fire Mtn. Gems
Fire mountain gems has a great selection and you can order a free HUGE catalog. They have wonderful prices and fast shipment. Local stores are all most always cheaper than Jo-Ann's and Michaels by the way.
I don’t fire off the questions because
most physicians now just try to race through because having to make that quota. But back to him asking you to have a sleep study, first of all you can refuse to have any test done you don’t want to have done. I refuse to weigh in my doctor's office. That is not really information basically needed (unless having anesthesia or dye injected for MRI say). Has any family member stated to you about excessive snoring, that being a reason you would need to have the study done. I did have a young niece to die from sleep apnea so in that case with loud, excessive snoring that you have heard about, then I would ask for it myself. I just turned down a nerve conduction study the other day. The neurologist said he oculd not treat; therefore why have it just then.
I'd fire that doctor in a nannosecond...sm
there's no reason at all for a doctor to act like that, much less your husband!

Most of us survived chicken pox just fine as kids. Having the vaccine doesn't guarantee you won't get it - it just reduces the chance of getting it (i.e. some people who get the flu shot get the flu anyway).

Keep the lotions and potions on your child and you'll get through this.
You are playing with fire and someone is going to get burned. sm
Infedility by any means is not moral and it is not right. Your husband has every right to be upset, as would I if my husband were doing the same. I'm not condemning you, I'm saying what I would tell anyone. In fact, my best friend brought a guy to the movies with us the other night and she is MARRIED. Needless to say, I was very upset and called her after the movie and told her I didn't think that was very cool.

I bet you 99% of the responders to this post will agree that what you are doing is not right.

It's just exciting and fun right now and not at all worth it in the end. If your husband finds out he may never respect or trust you ever again.

Also, what helps me if I ever, ever get an inkling to stray (which has happened once in our 10-year marriage), is to think about ALL my husband has been through with me and put up and has done for me (which is A LOT), and eventually the "other guy" just doesn't seem that appealing anymore. It actually made me cry when I began thinking of all my husband has done for me and my child (I was married once before we met).

Anyways, you have to stop it. Leading a double life weighs very heavy on your conscience. It's no fun. Not good for your health.

Oh, one more thing! Why is he single, if he is? He's probably a jerk. He ditched you once, right? If he's willing to hang on to you even though he knows you are married? He's not worth it, girl.
I grew up with fire ants and believe me sm
You KNOW when you've been bitten. They aren't called fire ants for nothing. We do think it might be insect(s) from the tree we bought (see post "something occurred to us").
Wow, sounds like you want to jump right into the fire.
I wouldn't do it.  Way too expensive.  Y'all are probably young.  I would sleep on it for several, several nights.
Wow! You're sure a ball of fire! nm
nm
Sounds like the MIL is the one fueling the fire!!
I have the world's greatest MIL! I could marry 50 more men and not have a MIL like her!! She is my BFF! She thinks and acts as if I'm her own daugher (she only had 2 sons). But I will tell you this, more than likely the MIL is the source of the problem and stabbing you in the back worse than you think. Sounds like she may be where all the animosity is coming from. Sorry to say, but she probably thinks you aren't "good enough" for her son. (you know how Mama's boys are) I would definately DEMAND that my hubbie take up for me or I would send him home packing to his Mama!
birthday/fire hall
What fire department in the US allows smoking indoors?  I really don't need to know.  I'm sorry you had to endure that.  Cat
Hi Cat! I was told it was at a fire hall, but actually was SM
more like a legion, etc. Hope you know what I mean. .  much smaller than the fire hall which was down the street. I got lost three times, was not familiar with the town, even though it is not far from where I live, etc. Wow. . what a day. Thanks for caring. It is now 12:50 a.m. and my eyes are actually still burning!!
fire at school, i was not contacted

Here's what happened:  I dropped my third-grader off at 8:20 this morning.  A group of us moms who drop off their kids meet at a little coffee shop just down the street.  I leave the coffee shop at 9:30 a.m., return home, check my voice mail (none), and then leave to run an errand (taking my elderly neighbor to the garage to pick up her repaired car).  It's now just after 10 a.m.  On the car radio, (from an out-of-town radio station, not local) I hear that my child's school has been evacuated due to a fire and school has been dismissed.


I immediately pull the car to the side of the road and call one of the mom's I had just had coffee with, asking her if she had been called by the school.  She had not.  So, I turn the car around and start racing back to school.  My brother then calls me (his daughter is in the same grade, same school, as my boy), stating that he has picked up our children and is taking them to grandma's house.  He said he had only heard it from his girlfriend who heard it on the radio and called him.


Last year, we had to fill out this form stating who was okay to pick up our kids from school in case of emergency.  My brother was on that list from last year, but this year we were not supplied with one of those forms to fill out.  What if things had changed?  What I had decided he was no longer to be on that list?


Anyhow, I get home, check my voice mail again, still none.  On the noon news, the story is there, stating the children have been evacuated and bussed home.  How many kids got sent to a home with parents away at work?  How many kids waited to get picked up by non-contacted parents?  Isn't there supposed to be an emergency system which can contact 900 parents in a timely fashion?  I am really miffed.  Everything is alright, but this was a fiasco.


In case of a fire and no keys
I would go through the window but not in a situation like this, different case altogether.
You're not alone. According to the fire marshal,
our house fire was my fault.  I left a burner on and went out the door.  I was in such a hurry (as usual) to pick up my kids that I didn't turn it off the whole way.  The house went up in flames and everything with it.  The first thing the kids said when we moved in our new house was, "Mom, I don't think you should operate the stove."  Thanks, guys.  Like I don't feel guilty enough.  But I'm learning to laugh at myself again.  Can't keep beating myself up over it.  Everyone was safe and that's the most important thing. 
Such as how much nuclear fire-power you have....
.
Great balls of fire! sm
That $540 could pay a month's rent for some families. Or feed a third-world family of five for a year!

Sheesh! Michelle may be a shoe addict, to which I can relate, but she's gonna get flamed for this one.....
Oh, great balls of fire! sm
When I was 25 years or so younger and still fairly pretty, I ran into a situation like that, only the man was divorced. He even showed me his divorce decree. However, he failed to mention his live-in girlfriend. When I found that out in a very short time, I excised him from my life like a space-occupying lesion. But for crying out loud, that sux! In a way, it almost seems worse than being disloyal to one's legal wife. E-ew!
A house on the next block is on fire. Winds are
about 20 mph and I lost track of the number of firetrucks have responded.  Just last night our community had a benefit concert for another family that lost their house to fire just before Thanksgiving.   Hopefully everyone is safe and the fire doesn't spread.  
Don't do myself, but look at Fire Mountain Gems on line &
s
Mine slept through fire alarm
My 16-year-old daughter sleeps like the dead. A couple of years ago the fire alarm went off in the middle of the night and it was absolutely blaring in her room, and she SLEPT THROUGH IT! Needless to say, an alarm doesn't work. I not only wake her up, I physically pick her up out of bed and stand her on her feet. I honestly don't know what she will do when she goes off to college. No problems with my 18-year-old. By the way, I don't do very many other things for them - they are self-sufficient. But this is a practical matter.
Isn't it illegal to fire someone for observing their own religion? nm
x
There was fire at Turkey Point. Grid went down sm
in Miami, so that began domino effect with other grids getting overloaded and then shutting down.
tub bath outside in sun or cozy in front of fire
!
cozy/fire....Thanksgiving or Christmas?
x
Fire pit, dogs, smores and fireworks here. Have Barbie
asdf
Monte Carlo Casino in Vegas on fire see it on
nm
bread with spagetti sauce and cheese, over the fire
nm
Heat Surge electric fire place

I posted a few weeks ago about an article I saw for a Heat Surge electric fireplace with a wooden mantle built by the Amish.


Well I received it about 1.5 wks ago and I must say that it is absolutely beautiful!  It is virtually noiseless, I seriously cannot hear it running at all.  The brightness of the flame is adjustable and it has a low and a high heat setting.  Best of all, it works!  It does exactly what I had planned on and keeps the back of my house at a reasonable tempurature during the night so I do not have to worry about keeping the wood stove in the front going full blast all night.


The kids turned it on one evening when they were playing pool and they actually ended up turning it off because it got to warm.


So in my opinion, if you want something that is beautiful, well built, safe, and does provide more than enough heat for a room or two (mine is between the family room/kitchen which is all one long room) then it is absolutely worth the money.


Beware of fixing your own stove, fire hazard! nm
.
winter wonderland and chestnuts roasting on an open fire
and baby, its cold outside.  have more than 1!!
Teen girls accused of setting kitten on fire (sm)

This article made my stomach roll.  Maximum penalty (yeah, right) is 3 years in solitary confinement.  Personally, I think they should be publically whipped until they scream and then whipped until they stop screaming...but that's just me.


"A boy and his friend said they saw the smoke and heard the cat shrieking while the girls laughed."


http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/13708685/detail.html?rss=dgo&psp=news


(cut and paste into your browser to read article)


I think I'd fight that one.
x
Sometimes if you fight BCBS
they'll eventually give in. When I started my period at 10, they were extremely severe. We found that I have a tiny hole in my uterus which caused all sorts of problems. My only options were hysterectomy or medication to stop my periods. Taking birth control pills nonstop did not do to the trick. I had to take an experimental medication since no doctor would do a hysterectomy on an 11-year-old. My mother fought BCBS tooth and nail and they ended up covering the $1600 a month medication. It's a headache to fight, but might be worth it.
sometimes i have to fight for my work sm
my work is two hours behind me, so most of the time, the docs don't start dictating until about the time hubby is ready to lay down and wants me to lay with him for a while. i'll tell him i need to work, then he makes this face like "you don't want to be with me" he doesn't sleep a full straight 7 or 8 hours, he gets up after about 4 hours, has lunch stays up for about 30 minutes or a little longer, then off to bed again until 9 pm at night when it's time for him to get up and leave. my hubby is like have another kid. (if you know what i mean) i have other issues that i won't get into on here, but was just curious about other MTs working. my work isn't a 24 hours work. my docs are there from about 7 am to about 6 pm and that's it. i find myself only able to work about 3 hourse before i have to pick up my kids from school.

i'm just having a frustraing day today.
Take this to a lawyer. Fight for him. This cannot be legal.
asf
I would fight you for that! He is soooo sexy....nm
nm
Are you saying you want the unruly ones, the ones who fight and fuss, have the beer
parties, conflicts all the time, loud, obxious music? All the neighbors around here are very quiet and decent ones. I think they are lovely- none of that low class acting out. I can tell from the posts that a lot of people apparently must like all that drama plus all the friction coming with it. To each their own.
But these are kids; they shouldn't have to fight at a young age nm
:)
Are you a night person or a morning person?
Just curious . . .
It probably varies from person to person (sm)

With me, first child I was out of the bed seriously within 5 minutes of having him.  I didn't tear or have to be cut, he was 7 pounds, 3 ounces.  The doctor did some type of vaginal massage on me though while I was in labor and that was supposed to help loosen the vaginal wall?


Second child, same experience.  She was 8 pounds, 1 ounce and within 5 minutes of having her, while they took her to the nursery to get cleaned up and all, I walked downstairs with my husband to the cafeteria to get a drink and stretch my legs.  I had already put my regular clothes back on as well.  My doctor who delivered her was walking in my room as I was walking in and he was stunned a second and said he thought I was a visitor, LOL, not the patient.


I don't think you have to have bed rest in normal cases.  With my son I went home within 24 hours with him and with my daughter we went home in only 20 hours.


No, I am not that person...sm
Nor am I trying to be ugly...I think YOU come first in this situation.  If not, you'll get in deep trouble with your health, then what? Your family needs you...take care of yourself, and make your husband pitch in...that's all I'm sayin'
Who is this person?
I have no clue who this person is. 
I saw a person having 1 of those 1 day
and they could do like all the other people around, just ignored it. I was in a public building, guy down and frothing at the mouth, not a good scene but totally ignored.
What do you think causes a person to be --sm
unable to show feelings/compassion for anyone else?  I have a friend?? who shows no emotion at all.  Says it is the way she was brought up and her family are not talkers.  I shared some devastating news about my son with her last night and she has shown more sympathy to her dog after it was spayed than she did to me.  Just do not understand how someone can see a person as broken as I was last night and offer absolutely no comfort.
I think that person needs more than just a
xx
Perhaps you could help me tell if this person is just like you or not?
If not that is fine, but you could probably use your "talent" to help others, like a PI or something.