Not withholding as punishment - withholding as a reaction (sm)
Posted By: anon on 2007-07-06
In Reply to: The post says she has withheld - Joan
Maybe it does exacerbate the problem - but I have dealt with the problem for over 13 years. I gave in for years hoping it would help. Now, I don't care if it exacerbates the problem - unless something changes in the relationship and I feel like I want to be with him in that way, I am not doing it.
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About the withholding
I probably would never gasp at an extra $50.00 out. I am an IC but even then I do not consider $50.00 a huge amount of money. Now if you were talking in the 100s, maybe. I thought that the checks were supposed to increase some, not decrease so maybe someone else can shed some light on this.
withholding is the same as tax tables
your boss is taking you for a ride.
Here's a link to the IRS publication for withholding:
Paste this into your browser:
http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p15.pdf
federal withholding tables changed
I just thought I would give everybody a heads-up on the fact that the federal withholding tables have changed, so look for a decrease in your check if you are an employee. I get paid every Friday for one of my jobs and my net pay was much less than I expected. I checked with my boss to make sure our line totals were the same, and that is when she told me the tables had changed - so much so that she gasped. Those of you who are being paid every two weeks - brace yourself for a smaller check. If your gross income is about $1000 every 2 weeks, you'll have about $50 less in your pocket.
By my calculations, including my husband's income in the whole equation, the govt just decided to withhold in one year my son's community college tuition.
punishment
Apologies seem to stick with my children; my boy has had to apologize to his teacher for misbehaving and guess what, no problems since. I think making her apologize is appropriate and will humble her enough to never have to worry about it again.
Harsh punishment but . . .
like you, I don't agree with this sort of behavior at all. But what recourse does the school have? These days, kids communicate widely via the internet. When one child writes something evil or threatening about another child in a blog or sends bullying emails, parents go straight to the school and ask that something be done about it. In the same vein, shouldn't the school do something about their own teachers being bullied? Most schools now address this sort of thing in their parent/student handbooks.
We can leave this up to the parents, but sadly, lots of parents aren't doing their jobs, either monitoring their children's activities online or teaching them appropriate social behavior. In and of itself, this one comment about a teacher isn't so threatening, but the bigger picture can be pretty upsetting.
I have a friend whose teenage children drive me insane. I can barely keep my mouth shut around them. I would love to sit them down and tell them how obnoxious they are. They are profane and will curse in front of adults and then tell us that we're just uptight and "what's the big deal". Many times as I speak to my friend on the phone, her children will start a conversation with mom while she is on the phone to me. That's rude in itself, but the foul-mouthed comments about their teachers, etc., are horrible. Mom does nothing about it, in fact, she joins in with the remarks. In recent months, I hardly talk to my friend on the phone anymore, because these sorts of things were happening nearly every time I speak to her on the phone. That may not be relative to this situation, but it's an example of the kind of "support" that schools get from parents.
I think the school has to have some say over what the kids are doing online with respect to school, but 10 days total suspension is an awful lot.
Well, I for 1 don't think the punishment fits the
The school is waaaaay over-reacting. Suspension for 4 days? Come on, he didn't hit his teacher out of anger, just kidding around.
Oh, well. Maybe you should have him write his teacher a note of apology. That might help with his relationship in the future with her.
I have found the best punishment for kids is
to do hand them the exact opposite of what they want to do. For example, does he love to go outside and play? Then he sits in his room without anything like his television, telephone, just 4 walls. If he is a couch potato then he spends time outside, even if just sitting under a tree and thinking about things. I always punished children/grandchildren with the opposite of what they loved to do. Works like a charm.
That's an interesting form of punishment
Something I might try the next time. I agree that 4 hours was a little a harsh, which is why I gave in after about 30 minutes. I will say that he was pretty good the rest of the day. He had 1 time when he started to rough-house with his brother and it ended pretty quickly when I reminded him that he could sit on the chair again, this time until his dad comes home. He quit pretty abruptly.
Thanks for your input.
My father one time decided this was the punishment for my son
Had him write 200 times I must not ...... My father laughed as he told me when my son got through he said, "Now paw-paw can I do it again?" What works for 1 does not necessarily work for another.
Your reaction is disturbing . . .
... and surprising to me that you show no strong emotion as to the implication here. Those dogs killed domesticated cats. That should never be taken lightly. In some parts of the country, it's criminal and owners are held liable. For you not to address the issue immediately, and for your sister-in-law to treat the situation so lightly is strange to me. Think about it. Next time those dogs can bite a child, a person, or continue to kill. Responsible ownership of a pet should not be taken lightly,and you and your sister-in-law are lacking here. Discuss the situation at once and come to a remedy that will prevent this from ever happening again.
I had exactly the same reaction! Kept waiting - sm
for her to 'come alive' and really dance. I think it probably came back to bite her, since Helio won the whole thing, and deservedly so.
if you think that the fact that my 1st reaction
to seeing the photo of this dog posted on the board was 'scaaary', gives you the right to take 'actions' against my right to post on this forum, you are**********
You can insert here the worst names you can think of.
I do not know this dog and when the picture came up on the screen it frightened me. This was not what I expected, abd it has nothing to do with being
'immature.'
You have NO right to play forum police here!
It's YOU who is harassing me!
definitely normal kid culture reaction
Remembering standing outside waiting at the Brooklyn Fox for the following groups at one time or another way back when:
Little Anthony and the Imperials
Martha and the Vandellas
The Shirelles
Otis Redding
Little Stevie Wonder (he was 13)
Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
The Ruffin Brothers (David and.....cannot remember the other one's name at the moment)
The Thymes (later on)
before the British Invasion music which them some of us started appreciating......and going ape waiting for the Beatles at 54th Street at the Warwick Hotel, 500-1000 young girls on the 4 corners of that intersection mobbing taxicabs....*LOL* - those were the days....
sounds like an allergic reaction....
could you be allergic to pecans now in your life? Otherwise it sounds like aphthous ulcers which may have to do with something else you might have eaten that was acidic...Did you drink something citrusy with it?
I had a different reaction when I found my husband sm
surfing. He never leaves his email open but he did just this 1 time (it's password protected) so I looked at his email and he was getting messages from an adult sex matches website. In the email, it had his "profile name." So the next day, looked up the website and I had to join just to see his profile, so I joined. There he was, no picture but what he was looking for in a woman, etc. So I printed it out. It is now in a safe place. He doesn't know that I know and I'm not spilling the beans until I file for divorce. And I'm not surprised about the website because we met on a match.com. I know I'm emotionally abused by the way he puts me down, tells me it's his way or the highway. He told me last week if I ever cheated on him or divorced him, he would "F" me up and destroy me. BUT he said if he cheated on me and I found out, that I'd have to get over it. So I'm getting a plan together, stashing some $$ because I'm not going to live like this. Like Dr. Phil asks "would you rather be alone and healthy or sick with somebody."
Should I be worried about my 8 year-old's reaction? sm
Last night my 11 year old son and 8 year old daughter were watching one of those rescue shows on TV....they had just show a little girl being found safely on the beach after wandering a couple of miles away from her parents. Then they started the story of an 11 or 12 year old boy....I had no idea they would ever have a rescue show on TV if it had been unsuccessful but the boy died! My daughter was devastated. It was almost bedtime, no less, so I held her a while and she cried and I consoled her. Then I took her to tuck her in and said prayers and sang to her like every night...but she told me she was feeling really strange inside because of the show she had seen. I tried to calm her down by staying with her and rubbing her back and continuing to sing but she started shaking really hard...and continued to shake. I told her that I had looked up the story on the internet and that it wasn't a true story (a lie to try to make her feel better), and she was glad, but she continued to shake. So I took her to the other room and rocked her for about an hour (which of course I have not done much of in the last 7 years or so). She fell asleep and then I went to put her in her bed and she started shaking again. The shaking was so bad that I could feel it through her covers!! She is just a tiny little girl! She said the shaking was so bad it was making her legs and back hurt :( I ended up taking her to my room and letting her sleep with me but I am concerned that she would get upset to that point. I know the show was sad, but is it normal for a child to shake like that? It really scared me!
allergic reaction to snobs
In this "economic environment" I find it really hard to put up with the pecking order of snobbery, when I know these people are doing terrible financially. How do you reform a snob, especially one that doesn't even have enough money to eat?
Anyone have a cat with reaction to rabies shot?
Has anyone here had an experience with their cat having a reaction to their rabies shot booster? My 4-year-old Persian just had a rabies booster 2 weeks ago at a new vet's office. (Just moved - have only been going there for about a year). My guess is they use a different brand or manufacturer of vaccine than my old one did.)
Yesterday morning, exactly 2 weeks after getting her shot and seeming just fine, I found a large, 2x2 cm lump on my cat's right lower hindquarter. Thinking it was a hair mat, I put on my glasses for a better look. It wasn't a mat; instead, it was a subcutaneous lump that felt similar to a lipoma, but was firmer, not as soft and squishy as a lipoma. She had also vomited 4 times during the night -- food, not hairballs. She's never done that before.
I took her to the vet right away, and they aspirated some fluid out of the lump, looked at it in a microscope, and said she had a lot of white cells. (She also had a fever). They sent off the slides to the lab to see if this might be vaccine-associated sarcoma - something I never even knew existed until yesterday! While waiting for the lab results, she's on an antibiotic, as well as an anti-inflammatory for 5 days.
So, I got on the internet and did some research about these vaccine-related sarcomas, and would advise any cat-owner to do the same thing. The information I found was NOT encouraging! Did you know that the occurrence of these sarcomas has been increasing since the early 90's, when they started making adjuvant (more inflammatory) rabies vaccines? The sarcomas are VERY aggressive in cats. (I had a former cat die in only 7 months after a mastectomy for breast ca. with adenosarcoma.) They think some cats may be predisposed to developing sarcomas at the site of injection for both rabies and the feline leukemia / FIP vaccines. The rescue where I adopted my cat advises its adopters not to get the leukemia/FIP vaccine, so I don't get that one. But this is the first I've heard about the rabies shot being dangerous, as well.
My reading brought to light the fact that vets almost always give the rabies shot as distally as possible in the RIGHT rear quarter. The reason? If a sarcoma forms, they're very invasive, and they found that tumors from shots given between the shoulder blades or in the scruff of the neck tended to spread into the spine and lungs. (Oh, GREAT....) Even more thrilling to learn is the reason they give the shot in the lower rear quarter: It's so that if the cat gets a sarcoma, the best chance they have of prolonging the cat's life is to amputate the entire leg.
Each state differs, but in California, rabies shots for cats are recommended, but NOT mandatory. Had I known this, and about the danger of the adjuvant rabies vaccines, I would have skipped the vaccine altogether. My vet recommended that if she gets a rabies shot in the future, (which I don't intend to do with either of my strictly indoor-only cats), there is a SAFER brand - Merial "PureVax". It's a non-adjuvant vaccine that is much safer. (My guess is that it's probably more expensive, too.) It's also apparently not easy to find. My vet office doesn't use it (WHY, I don't know, since they're recommending it...), so that's just one more reason for me to say "NO" to rabies vaccines in the future. However, If I were getting a new kitten, I would make sure it got the Merial PureVax instead of the regular kind, provided it's approved for kittens. It's disadvantage is that it's given yearly, rather than q.3 years.
Anyway, regardless of whether my cat's lab tests come back positive or negative for malignancy, after what I've learned from researching feline rabies shots, I thought I'd pass the information on to everyone who's interested, so they can talk to their own vets about it and at least make a more-informed decision about vaccinations than I did! 
To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction
It won't be making any difference. I tried a couple of techniques for my adults and very soon I came to realize they found the antidotes for them. If there are 10 sites telling how to monitor your kids, there are 1000 more telling how to escape it. Down the road you will be pushing your kids to visit those sites (full of porn banners & adult materials) and nothing else.
I had the same reaction, I was shocked....Good that it got deleted..nm
nm
Hubs had same reaction with another Abx for same thing a few months ago. Stopped after
s
I had a similar reaction from a tiny dose of nortriptyline - sm
the doc had prescribed to try to control my chronic migraines. I took like less than half of one pill, about 1/4 the dose the doc intended me to taper up to. I took it a 10:30 pm on a Friday night. The next morning I didn't wake up 'til almost noon, and was totally, UTTERLY stoned. Coffee didn't help. No-doz didn't help. Finally felt sober enough to drive, and headed off for Lake Tahoe that afternoon (the original plan had been to go at about 9 AM), only to realize that I was still a bit on the stoned side, and didn't remember most of the 150-mile drive there! Aaaagggh! Went to bed early that night (WITHOUT the nortriptyline this time) and finally felt halfway normal by the next day.
Man - if I had to be on that stuff, I'd have lost my job for sure. Not only would I have not been able to DO my job (was an in-house MT at the time), but I most likely wouldn't have even remembered I HAD a job to go to!
The doc said I would have eventually 'gotten used to it' and not had such a drowsy reaction, but couldn't give me a time frame for that happening. I just didn't have the time to live that way, so told her it wasn't an option.
Needless to say, I threw away the rest of the contents of that bottle. Thank goodness Imitrex was on the market in tablet form about a year later. THAT worked like a charm on the migraines, and totally changed my life.
Sounds like a reaction to the surgery. The lymph nodes in our neck sm
will "activate" whenever something foreign comes near the skull or head. My son developed very large lymph nodes around both sides of his neck and we didn't know what was going on. He ended up having the chicken pox and most of the lesions were on his scalp! He had a few throughout his body, but 60% on his head. So his doc explained to us that his lymph nodes in his neck were activated because of where the pox was traveling.
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