My father one time decided this was the punishment for my son
Posted By: Memories!! on 2007-12-07
In Reply to: How about the sentence I had to write - trose
Had him write 200 times I must not ...... My father laughed as he told me when my son got through he said, "Now paw-paw can I do it again?" What works for 1 does not necessarily work for another.
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The next time I decided to make real
mashed potatoes. Didn't know how many potatoes I needed for 2 people, so I peeled about 6 or 7 potatoes. Once again, too many taters! LOL!
My children watch it to see the babies...I watched it one time and decided (sm)
I could not stand the condescending way Kate talked to and about Jon. She was so insulting and demanding of him, I can't see why anyone would want to live like that. I feel sorry for the children, but they have not been allowed to have a normal life anyway, and they should not be raised to see their dad take abuse from their mom, so good for him for standing up for himself.
My father took his dog to the veterinarian 1 time and they wanted to put the dog down
because he had distemper. Seeing the dog over in the corner looking fine, I asked my father what did he do? He said "I changed doctors." Maybe that is something worth checking out.
my father was "written out" of the will a long time sm
ago due to issues between him and grandmother. My sister and I are the only grandchildren and the nephew and great-nephew are the only heirs. My grandmother had a will but I am afraid the nephew and attorney (who is the power of attorney) conspired to get her to change her will towards the end of things.
Dying girl denied more time with imprisoned father - please sign the petition (sm)
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/Have-Mercy-on-Jayci
This child is 10 years old - this is national news, not a hoax of any kind. This child was healthy six months ago and now has very limited time to live. Her father is imprisoned and her dying wish is to spend more time with him - which is being denied. Please go to the above website and sign the petition asking the Nebraska prison system to honor her request.
punishment
Apologies seem to stick with my children; my boy has had to apologize to his teacher for misbehaving and guess what, no problems since. I think making her apologize is appropriate and will humble her enough to never have to worry about it again.
Harsh punishment but . . .
like you, I don't agree with this sort of behavior at all. But what recourse does the school have? These days, kids communicate widely via the internet. When one child writes something evil or threatening about another child in a blog or sends bullying emails, parents go straight to the school and ask that something be done about it. In the same vein, shouldn't the school do something about their own teachers being bullied? Most schools now address this sort of thing in their parent/student handbooks.
We can leave this up to the parents, but sadly, lots of parents aren't doing their jobs, either monitoring their children's activities online or teaching them appropriate social behavior. In and of itself, this one comment about a teacher isn't so threatening, but the bigger picture can be pretty upsetting.
I have a friend whose teenage children drive me insane. I can barely keep my mouth shut around them. I would love to sit them down and tell them how obnoxious they are. They are profane and will curse in front of adults and then tell us that we're just uptight and "what's the big deal". Many times as I speak to my friend on the phone, her children will start a conversation with mom while she is on the phone to me. That's rude in itself, but the foul-mouthed comments about their teachers, etc., are horrible. Mom does nothing about it, in fact, she joins in with the remarks. In recent months, I hardly talk to my friend on the phone anymore, because these sorts of things were happening nearly every time I speak to her on the phone. That may not be relative to this situation, but it's an example of the kind of "support" that schools get from parents.
I think the school has to have some say over what the kids are doing online with respect to school, but 10 days total suspension is an awful lot.
Well, I for 1 don't think the punishment fits the
The school is waaaaay over-reacting. Suspension for 4 days? Come on, he didn't hit his teacher out of anger, just kidding around.
Oh, well. Maybe you should have him write his teacher a note of apology. That might help with his relationship in the future with her.
I have found the best punishment for kids is
to do hand them the exact opposite of what they want to do. For example, does he love to go outside and play? Then he sits in his room without anything like his television, telephone, just 4 walls. If he is a couch potato then he spends time outside, even if just sitting under a tree and thinking about things. I always punished children/grandchildren with the opposite of what they loved to do. Works like a charm.
That's an interesting form of punishment
Something I might try the next time. I agree that 4 hours was a little a harsh, which is why I gave in after about 30 minutes. I will say that he was pretty good the rest of the day. He had 1 time when he started to rough-house with his brother and it ended pretty quickly when I reminded him that he could sit on the chair again, this time until his dad comes home. He quit pretty abruptly.
Thanks for your input.
Wanted to but we decided on sm
The Phantom (have front row seats), Blue Man, and Etta James is going to be there on Friday and my friend HAS to see her. We're only there 4 nights and the first one we get there at 9:30, so we just didn't have enough time. Next time!
Having known the risks up front, I decided
myself never to have a child after 30 even. I had my first at 21 and then my daughter was born when I was 29. I just had always heard the risks and did not want to take them myself. Everyone can do what they want but the older here is not always the better.
I am so glad you decided not to go with Biospot
Funny I did not realize I had emailed you, but couldn't figure out where my post went, thanks for letting me know you got the information. This was several years ago with my cat and she is fine now. Thanks for asking. All for the animals.
guess they decided to leave it up to everyone's
It stopped when parents decided to....
be friends with Susie and Tommy rather than parents. They want their kids to like them, don't want to hurt the poor little ones feelings or harm their self-esteem. Instead of rules they compromise, instead of depriving them of certain things these parents lavish them with every material thing they can for fear of being called a bad mom or dad. It's easier to buy the kid stuff and let them do what they want rather than buck up and be a parent. You all know who you are out there. I have to laugh when I see the 12-year-old who is dressed like a 22-year-old who is at the mall with her 35-year-old mother who is dressed like a 12-year-old. I also think the role models in the home have a lot to do with it too. Mom and dad probably don't respect each other, argue, use foul language, what is a kid to do but think that's the way relationships work. Many parents today are raising the furture princess whiny-give me-buy me and prince disrepectful-treat women like crap-selfish adults of tomorrow. We are doomed!
Thanks for all the good information, this is what I have decided
Next year I start drawing over $500.00 per month on a retirement fund (from the hospital that outsourced us). I still wanted to keep working. My thing was I knew before full retirement that SS took away part of the money you make and after full retirement age you can make any and all without them taking away. I want to work after full, draw the retirement starting in 04/2008 and then wait until the full retirement (03/2009) and then I will have the full money. I do not want to quit working, just wanted to see what everyone thought about taking a % off if you took SS before your regular retirement age.he Thanks everyone for all the info.
Decided the same thing at age 40 - good for you!
Of course, people did not like the abrupt change I made and it made many angry, but you know what? I do not care. I am a good wife, daughter, sister, and friend, but I refuse to be a doormat to anyone. Life is too short!
I am the same age and decided the same thing last year.
Though, I fall back into old doormat habits, but I try to keep myself in check on a daily basis. You know people pleasing is a habit difficult to get out of. And by people pleasing, I seem to attract the wrong kind of people... I think the users of the world can smell a person who is willing to overlook users so they can help to feel useful.
I am trying to boost self-esteem and as I do little things for myself, I find I can use my judgement of character better. Instead of helping everyone, I help myself and still feeling guilty. This is something to get over. Once we do for ourselves we have enough inside to do for others in a healthy way.. and it will be reciprocal. How is it that so many MTs are such givers? The old saying "if I would have known then what I know now..." etc.
That was for Bush's plan, which they decided against
The Tax Stimulus plan that has tentatively been decided on is 600 per person that earned at least 3000 in 2007 and then an additional 600 per child in the family. Married couples couldn't have made more than 150,000 either.
We have decided to seek professional help.
My husband and I talked and decided that for all our sakes and to try and do things right, we are seeking professional help to guide us through this.
I feel somewhat more relieved with that in mind.
I hope all this works out for the best.
Thanks everyone
We've decided to use these approaches
first. H is going to call around to see who has stove insulation. I will scrub it down with baking soda like someone else suggested. I have also read on the internet to sprinkle the new insulation Cayenne peper. They said the house had a fragrance for a while, but they never had to deal iwth rat pee anymore. If anything, I don't see why we cannot at least use the top part. I may just get rid of my cake mixes and cookie mixes. I guess I can either give them to my mom or give them to the food bank. We do have a George Foreman MIL gave us for Christmas. I have hardly used it because it was hard to clean. I considered selling it.
Right now, I just don't think we can afford it without using credit. We owe too much already. It is so bad that I have been looking around to see what I can sell. Not to buy a new stove but to pay some of this stuff down. We have Christmas to do and next month we have property taxes, car tags.
I am so glad my younger man decided
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Thanks...I decided to make an appt tomorrow (sm)
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TIA
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My daughter is 5 and really wanted a cat, but we just aren't "cat people." We have a big dog, and she loves him but wanted something cuddlier. We wanted something that she could help care for and play with. We get the "pigs" out of their cage every day (we have a an indoor fence/play yard that we put on a towel to catch the pee and poop) and let them run around. They have turned out to be a lot more fun than I thought they would. They really don't smell as long as you change the bedding in the cage every three to four days (might go longer if you only had one). From the things I've read and our experience, they are really gentle and tolerant (no one has gotten even an accidental bite since we got them in March, and we handle them ALL the time).
The negatives are that they are quite messy ( lots more vaccuming in the room where the cage is - again might not be as bad with only one - most of the bedding goes flying when they get to chasing each other around), and they can be noisy (especially at night when you're wanting to sleep).
They are terribly cute, and we love them but, like any animal, they are a lot of work. I don't regret it at all, but I can see where it wouldn't be for everyone.
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I decided to grow tomatoes for my 10 year old who loves them! sm
I planted 2 plants and they grew up so tall - totally pesticide free with no bugs on them all year! We had so many that I would give them to a neighbor. One batch was picked up by a woman who drove 30 miles for our tomatoes! I don't like them.....They were no big deal planting - just put them in the ground and watered every day.
My family decided last year to just enjoy the holidays
We're all adults, no children, and live in small homes or apartments. I NEED tons of stuff, but have no place to put much of anything, and can't afford to reciprocate with a gift. Same with a couple other siblings. My mom's been impossible to buy gifts for, for probably the last 10 years. I was the first to bow out the year before last. I started the ball rolling because I just plain couldn't afford it anymore, and was too busy working all the time to spend hours on end in a department store. I had a new job, no PTO, and NO money, so I alerted everyone that I wasn't going to play the game that year. Turns out it was a relief to all! And last year, without all the holiday 'getting mauled at the mall' disasters, each of us had quiet, happy, stress-free holidays. So now that we've eliminated the gift-giving aspect of Christmas, I finally can look forward to the season and enjoy it again.
The day I felt repulsed by my husband's advances was the day I decided to leave.
dd
I've decided to start a cookie business! Anyone up for helping me out with a name?
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So, some words I've been playing around with are yummy, goodies, goodness, sweets, comfort, cookies ... but nothing is really grabbing me. I've even tried to think of ideas without those type of words above, such as "Big D's" or whatever.
If anyone has any good ideas, I'd love to hear them!
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Happy New Year!
Not withholding as punishment - withholding as a reaction (sm)
Maybe it does exacerbate the problem - but I have dealt with the problem for over 13 years. I gave in for years hoping it would help. Now, I don't care if it exacerbates the problem - unless something changes in the relationship and I feel like I want to be with him in that way, I am not doing it.
Poll. The Nebraska high court decided that the electric chair is inhumane. What do you think? nm
I think it should be legal and used in certain circumstances. I mean, if DNA proves that the person committed the crime, confesses to it, is caught on tape - why can't the electric chair be used on them? What about the inhumanity that the "convict" used on his victims?
I think she said the father did not want her around
so really she should take that same stance. I think you just cannot sometimes may an enabler understand what they are doing wrong. My deceased husband, I talked to him about his enabling with his daughter and he told me he would do until his last breath and he did. She was a total invalid after that, did not have a clue (at 30 something) how to make her way. Oh well, glad I wasn’t the mother.
You ask about my son's father?
The father came around after the son grown and now lives with him. No money ever from him while my son growing up, not a penny, nothing. I have nothing against the father, just always thought he basically did good to take care of himself but not a father figure at all for the son. He was able to work, chose to live on the streets and finally got too old to be out there and my son and his family took him into their home. I was there but people have to understand what money does to people, especially if a lot of money, thousands and thousands. My son was upset about my inheritance and that is what happened. It is sad but not my fault he would choose the love of money over his mother. Wish him well.
your father
This is a touchy subject. Yes, it sounds a little like he may be trying to "take the easy way out" but really, what he is doing is self degradating and really desperate. I believe he needs help. Of course, he is not going to see it or admit it himself. That's WHY he needs help. He has threatened to take his life and spoken of wanting to die. I think you should call 911 or see if your town has a crisis team and tell them that he has said he is going to kill himself. Have him taken by ambulance or let the crisis intervention team figure out the transportation. Once he is at the hospital professionals will evaluate him and decide whether or not he needs to be committed against his will or long term treatment. They will give him counseling and even point him in the direction of how to start managing life again. The worse that could happen is that they say hes fine and send him home (which they will not do without at least providing him with information for outpatient treatment and other local agencies that can help him).
However, how will you feel if, God forbid, he does hurt or kill himself while you thought he wass just bluffing?
And even if it doesnt go that far...he will continue to harass you and your mom.
He needs help of some kind and as his daughter I think you should find a way to help him.
How do you know her father was
there for her? You are assuming that. As far as writing him off, it might be the best thing for her. Toxic people are very dangerous. Obviously you had a story book childhood and until you go through something like that, it is impossible to understand. Because it is a parent, it does not mean you have to put up with emotional and mental abuse.
Father in law
My father in law is an ok guy. One problem. He likes to come to our house and watch TV. On Saturdays and Sundays, I am off work, and I like to relax on the couch in Pjs and watch my TV. My husband drives an 18-wheeler, and a lot of times when he comes in if it is on weekends his dad will come over that morning and sit here ALL day long. My husband said last time you know I love dad to death and like for him to come visit but after a couple hours it is time to leave. Well now my husband isn't at home and he comes over to visit my son who is 11, and tells my son lets watch a movie or something. Well this is my weekend to relax and lay on the couch and watch TV. I feel like I can't relax in my own home. He doesn't have satellite at his house so he wants to sit here and watch. I am so fustrated. He needs to go home. I think he uses the excuse when my husband is gone to come see my son so he can sit here and watch movies. I would like to watch my own TV. URRRGHH! Any advice?
My father in law tried that with his indoor cat
and once they got outside the cat totally flipped out like a crazed wild animal. It was a very scary experience from what he described. So just be careful.
I do not live in 1 but my father had 1 and
when you pull the carpet up as I did when I got the trailer it only had cheap plywood underneath it. Having said this I was going to rent it out as eventually wanted to sell for the land it was on (6+ lake front acreage) so we put down linoleum (spelling?). A trailer is mostly made from the very cheapest you can get, thus the cheaper prices most of the time than homes. We took inexpensive commercial carpet for some of the bedroom floors and hubby put that down. These are about the cheapest you can do, don’t think your idea of a faux finish will work with the plywood but then you can always check on that. By the way, do you have to tar the roof of yours? Most trailers require this- did not know until after I had in possession- the only difference is a regular roof was put on this 1 - most are flat on the top and require tarring.
Actually he is a wonderful father...
who takes time out of his sleep schedule to be with them, eat dinner with us, go to kids' sporting events and the usual things people do without missing a beat because everything works out for their schedule. People who sleep during the night have no clue how hard it is to sleep during the day when it is light out, loud noises outside like lawnmowers, snowblowers, leafblowers, construction and more than you could realize. Nobody schedules meetings at 1:00 am so you have to get up after a few hours. Going to church on Sunday with your family and having family day requires less sleep because he works Sat. and Sun. night.
I feel sorry for you that you can't have an open mind enough to see that not everybody has the same life, same feelings, same jobs. If I can make him more comfortable including having a dark bedroom then I will and I asked for help in achieving this goal, not to have someone who doesn't know him or our family come on here and insult us. Not once did I say this was something he told me to do or makes me do..I am doing it because I love him. If he gets home in time in the mornings he gets the kids ready for school. Marriage is about give and take.
Your father was a 1 in a million.
A lot of men would have left being walked on and demoralized but your dad didn't want to leave you to suffer it alone. Usually, even when a mother isn't fit to raise a goldfish, mothers still get custody of the kids, and that's sad. There are a lot of great dads out there and they really need to be given the praise they deserve. What a great dad you had. I can see why you cherish him so much.
From what I can gather, he has only seen his father twice ....sm
in his entire 11 years. I think his great-grandmother raised him and also raised his mother (which would be her grandmother). Well, I think this lady just recently died and the child came to live with the mother and mother's boyfriend. The mother's 5-year-old lives with his father and I have noticed that the mother has him every other weekend. All of the kids except for 1 are from single-parent homes, including my own. I have been divorced for 5 years. I do not think that should be an excuse though. I am a very involved, hands-on, in tune, on top of things mother and I work my butt off to have what we have. My daughter sees her dad every other weekend sporadically. Yes, it does put a lot of responsibility, worry, etc., on the custodial parent but that is our job, not the neighborhood's job. There is another single mother who lives here and her husband is in jail. Her 2 sons are very well behaved. Then there is this mother and the single mother of the 2 girls who just suck at parenting. You rarely ever see them and they both take "nerve pills" and "sleeping pills." I've just never been that type of person and I have hard time understanding how you can bring children into the world and not take care of them. I don't expect the rest of the neighborhood to raise my daughter. Am I wrong to feel this way?
Father-Daughter
I don't know that one. Now I'm curious and have to look it up and hear it!
Can you talk to your son's father about this?
Can you discuss this amicably if you are on good terms, perhaps approaching it from the angle of what's best for your son.
father/daughter
My take on this whole situation is they are playing us. They probably both knew they were going to be in the house, so I would not take it too seriously.
Child should have father's last name SM
and should see father, unless he was abusive. No matter what a woman may think of the guy, it will be disservice to child to not let him/her see father.
A divorced woman can keep name or change back to maiden. Doesn't matter. I kept my married name, since I had it for 30 years.
My father was also child #5 and
12 years younger than the #4. He was always told he was not an accident but a suprise. I watched Jesus Camp and don't agree with that way of "religon" at all.
You did not mention if a father of your son
is around or involved in any way. I think your first attention should be towards your son, not the BIL because apparently your child is doing some acting out and it tends to escalate. When parents of young children oohing and aahing about them, I think about how it turns like your story now a lot of times. I had somewhat similar bad behavior (although never went against my telling no), some drugs involved. I just told my son would send to my daddys home- would have been worse than prison for him and I knew that- ole timer- early to bed and early to rise, take no junk type person. My son turned around because I always told both my children I did not have time for crap- I had to work and make a living for them and I would never put up with backtalking, walking away and doing what they thought they could so, swearing, hitting or the like.
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