TEEN DRIVING
Posted By: cb on 2006-10-22
In Reply to: Very normal. Let her get her license, but - Me
I just dropped you an email.
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Teen Sex
I understand your pain Mom; however, your "baby girl" is a young woman who is sexually active now. These are the statistics for teen sex today:
 Students who have had intercourse in highschool:
 40% of ninth graders
47% of tenth graders
57% of eleventh graders
72% of twelvth graders
Keep the lines of communication open. You cannot "regulate" your daughter's sex life. If you try, you will be fighting a losing battle. They will sneak around and find places to "do it." Encourage your daughter to have a female exam, Pap, and testing for STDs because that is the responsible thing ALL sexually active people should do today - not because she is "bad" or needs to be "taught a lesson about the seriousness of her actions." Trust that you have done a good job in raising her. Continue to be there for her.
Lilly
driving
I'm the last dinosaur - I don't think teenagers should be driving their own cars. She needs to be spending her time on school and music, maybe working 8 or 10 hours a week at a job if she can handle that as well.
A car is a tremendous responsibility and she will have her entire life to paying ins., gas, etc. Give her a couple more years without that responsibility.
Frankly, unless she has to drive to school or work, I wouldn't let her have her own ccar. Not because she isn't mature enough, but because the roads are filled with angry, distracted drivers and I would be afraid everytime she was gone.
Senior year is early enough for her to have her own car.
I know no one else will agree with this, but I wanted to say it. As a former teacher, I believe this is part of the reason the rest of the world does a better job educating their young people. No one else in the world expects their high school students to work for money for a car - their kids are in school as full-time students. Look at their test scores compared to ours and look at who is populating our graduate and professional schools.
Driving to NYC
I'm leaving Saturday morning to go to NYC to see an off-broadway play with my daughter and her friend (my daughter's 13th birthday), and I was wondering if there was anyone in the areas between Upstate NY/Pennsylvania/New Jersey (my route) here that might be able to tell me how the roads are and how the weather in general is. We have a lot of snow here (some places have over 6 feet) and I'm a little worried. I've never driven to NYC before so I'm a little worried about the weather. TIA.
teen fashion
OK, I have a teenage daughter who tells me "shaggy" hair is in for boys--nothing too clean cut. Clothes wise, American Eagle and the Buckle have trendy stuff. T-shirts with graphic designs, artsy, music related, kind of off the wall bands are popular--check out Target or Kohls for these, too. Hemp jewelry, dark-colored sneakers, pants that don't show your ankles when you sit down. Sagging is NOT hip, but not skin tight either. Don't tuck the shirts in. Just neat, but casual.
Hope this gives you an idea what to look for. Good luck!
teen clothes
For boys (my younest son is almost 16) - American eagle is hugely popular around here. My son also likes Abercrombie but they are so ridiculously expensive. Dockers shorts - lots of good shorts at Kohl's if you have one near you. Also if he has a favorite band/bands - order some of their graphic T shirts online, let him express his personality. Kids that age love those kind of T shirts.
Those of you with teen drivers....
...how did you handle speeding tickets, punishment wise? Take away their keys for XXX amount of time, ignore the first offense, ground them, etc.
teen drivers
I made my son pay his own ticket which for him was the punishment. I have to admit I speed so we didn't ground him or anything. Hasn't happened since.
Teen driver
I made my son pay his own tickets as well. He might have had a couple, total, but he soon learned. He's 21 now.
Thank you to all; I have a teen here in my complex who wants to do it.
Thank you.
teen driver
When my daughter got her license I gave her my older vehicle and she was responsible for gas and insurance. She paid for her repairs, but I helped if they were very high. My insurance agent told me to put her on her own policy so I would not get sued if she had an accident and my rates would not be affected by her driving record. By her living in my home she was able to get my discounts, ie., two car discount, different safety features on her vehicle, and home being insured. This was a wise choice as she had two small accidents within a year and is now paying high risk and my rates didn't change, but my insurance would have gone from $300 to $2600 every six months if she were on my policy. She hated having to pay since all her friends' parents were footing the whole bill, but now in college she appreciates it because she knows how to pay bills and budget her money while her friends are always bouncing checks or calling mom and dad for money.
Teen Troubles
Can you say, "Dr. Phil?" If you are that desperate, I would definitely consider it.
These floaters are driving me ...
crazy!! Have any of you had these and if so were they able to be treated and how? Seems like today in my right eye they are worse (I know they can go back and forth). I hope someone out there maybe has an answer to this irritating problem. Thanks.
I hope he is not driving because if he is -sm
it is only a matter of time before he is in an accident, hopefully only a 1 car accident. If is is driving he is not only endangering those in the car, but those on the road driving around him. Point that out if you have not already, very irresponsible and foolish of him IF that is the case. My DH is similar with docs, though he will go the eye doctor, but anything else he has to be dying, I am surprised he is not dead (Had a horrible case of pneumonia a few months before I met him, was out of work for 3 week, temps of 104/105, hallucinations, horrible sweats, etc, crawled in to see the doc at their office a few times, the only thing that saved his life was his girlfriend of the time, though why she never called 911 or took him to the ER is beyond me, he needed hospitalization, total miracle he lived). Mine acts like a big baby most of the time too. If you don't have life insurance on him, get it now while you can, then you will be okay if needed. As for SS disability, it will take a while to get that if he gets to that point, and even then he needs to see doctors and get doctor reports to have that submitted to SS so they can approved disability--but if he has a fixable problem then there is no way he will ever get it. Try to guilt him into to or else just get him in the car somehow and get him to the ER.
Tell him that his criticizing you is driving you away!
My DH has issues with my weight, too. Well, he's not perfect either. He's just as overweight as I am, so why the double standard? I told him if I didn't have to work so much and handle EVERYTHING else that I do (and then I listed everything for him), maybe I'd have time to exercise. He's doing more around the house, and I am making an effort to increase my activity level and eat better. He also had to stop pushing food on me, which I think he equates feeding me as an expression of love. Don't worry about the weight. You can still curl your hair, put on some makeup and wear a little slinky something. Cripes, this is the only time I've actually had boobs! It's not so much the weight that bothers them as the attitude. When you get in a rut wearing elastic waistband pants and a ponytail to work at home in, and you stay in them all the time, you don't feel as feminine as you can. Know what I mean? Forget about the underwear and give him a real woman!
I am not alone! The news is driving
me nuts! But I am like a person with a sore tooth and your tongue can't leave it alone. I should just quit watching. They throw out these headlines and never follow up. The reports involving children are really getting to me. How many times have you seen a missing child story only to have the camera pan to the cross street signs, the block number of the house and then, of all things, "here's her best friend, Ginny, who lives right next door, and says she is really missing her friend tonight", and then they post the child's name on the screen. If the parents don't have anymore sense, you would think the TV station would. They have practically made themselves the pedophile home shopping network. And yes, I have actually written to all the major Houston stations and only one bothered to write me back, the NBC affiliate. I don't know if they stopped doing this, but I just saw one yesterday on ABC, so that had no effect on them. Oh, well, enough of my soap box.
Teen fashion emergency! :) SM
OK, please help if you can. My son and I are clueless when it comes to "cool" fashions. His friends sorta teased him today and said he is really uncool (uncool haircut, clothes, shoes). They jokingly said they were going to do an extreme makeover on him. I laughed at first, but then thought, "Hey! That's not half bad!" He is starting high school in the fall, and I would like to help him with a makeover this summer. He is a nice looking kid, just got his braces off (so has a really nice smile), a little bit on the husky side, but his clothes and shoes are Walmart specials. He is just a basic "boy" hair cut.
What is "cool" for boys? Where should we shop? What kind of haircut is cool for a 15-year-old boy? I'm so clueless!
Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated!
 Chickadee
I too met my "father" as a teen/adult.
I had always asked questions. My mom was always very honest when she felt we could handle it about why they broke up (he was abusive). He contacted my brother and me when I was 16. I met him, found out he wasn't my "dad" since that was someone who would have at least been there for me when I needed him or to even know so I consider my "father" as a sperm donor. I am glad I did meet him and have closure (like someone else mentioned) because I think I would have always been curious but I didn't pursue a relationship with him. My father-in-law has been a real dad to me but my blood relative father is not a dad.
I agree with what someone mentioned too that your mom may not have been totally honest, wanting you to not want to pursue meeting him. I was lucky, my mom never badmouthed him when we were growing up even when we had all these questions about him, why they didn't stay married, what it would be like if they had stayed together and everything else. I realize now of course my mom was smart to have gotten out at the beginning. Once an abuser always an abuser so I'm relieved now. If you want to talk about it more let me know and I'll send you my e-mail.
JMO, but having been a very wild teen at one time...
you really should intervene. Your sister has a right to know, it is her child after all, and to turn a blind eye and pretend it does not exist does your niece more harm than good. Take it from one who has been there, if someone would have done the same for me I would have been angry, but looking back now it would have changed my life tremendously. A lot of young girls today really need some direction, look at the role models they have out there, most of them are nothing to brag about! Good luck to you, you sound like a loving and caring auntie!
I have two teen drivers on my insurance.
One is away at college and is not allowed to have a car on campus. Since he's paying for, or has earned scholarships for a good portion of his tuition, we pick up his car insurance as a secondary driver on a very old Toyota that he inherited from his grandfather. My second son has had his license for only two weeks. At the current time, as he is a good student, responsible and working very hard at school and on some extracurricular activities, we pick up his insurance as a secondary driver, as well. So far, so good. No one has had any moving violations or dings. In fact, I'm 46 and have never had a moving violation and have only gotten two parking tickets (deserved).
We're very serious here about driving responsibility. The boys know that one speeding ticket and we drop them from our insurance like hot potatoes. No insurance, no driving, no car. No warning. Mess up once, and they don't get back behind the wheel on our dime ever. The boys also know that their father and I mean what we say. We're not rich, but we are happy to be able to help our sons as they work toward their futures. But we won't pay high insurance fees because of their stupidity. More importantly, we've been to too many funerals for young people who died in accidents caused by speeding. I think that because of this, our boys seem to have taken their driving responsibilities/privileges very seriously.
update on teen drama
I posted before about how my son's ex-girlfriend was sabotaging him receiving an invitation to Sadie Hawkins dance. The girl that "changed her mind" can't find another date because it is too close to time.
So she follows my son all over the place, but she has to be loyal to the "Queen Bee" and doesn't seem to have the courage to ask him again.
Four years is a long time to be incarcerated in high school. Maybe he will get an A in chemistry instead!
Teen Heart Throbs
Who was your celebrity teen heart throb?
Mine has always been Donny Osmond. I really liked David Cassidy too.
Teen heart throbs
First was probably David Cassidy. Too many more to mention. LOL.
haha! My 5 year old wants to know: Who's driving and what are ALL the
,
Mine also, and I go very fast driving over them
and hold my breath or pray pretty much. Years ago my sister had gone over a bridge traveling to Tennessee just before it collapsed and I never forgot it.
On the news today they said something like 70,000 bridges in the country are in disrepair. I say put our taxes to better use! Do something constructive for a change.
Scary stuff.
I was driving home from work..sm
got the tail end of the report, mostly just that he'd been taken to the hospital, but the somber tone of voice made me realize pretty quickly that he had died. VERY sad day for me, I've always been a fan.
This mother saying too big a town for driving through yet
I honestly can understand this as when my children first started driving we were living in a huge city and all the freeways around, not some small town where everyone knows everyone and I bit my nails to the quick. The mother probably just wants the child to get more experience under his belt before he tries such a trip and the son is lying to her and making this trip regardless. He and the girl both sound like they are too much into each other for things like school right now. It happened to me- son just did not want school after high school. Sad when it is handed to you on a silver platter.
i stopped night driving when I was 48....
I live in a huge metropolis where everyone on the road is nasty.....gave up night driving at 48 due to problems seeing with the red, green, orange-yellow traffic lights PLUS headlights and rear lights.
I also have just given up driving all together...people are too nasty on the road.......I never did like driving, let my permit expire when I was 16 - never had a huge interest in driving.....just me is all.......
My children drive and all my friends drive so there's no problem whatsoever *lol*
Those low-mounted driving lights that - (sm)
illuminate both sides of the road are really helpful on dark country roads at night, and in the rain, too. They help me see puddles of deeper water, especially those along the side of the road that can get you spun around if just one front tire hits them. They're also good if you're watching for deer, pedestrians, etc.
I've learned a few tricks that help improve night driving vision:
First, if your windshield is pitted, replace it. The pits diffuse bright lights and make it hard to see.
Keep your headlights, tail-lights & turn-indicator lights clean so they'll be as bright as possible.
If I've been doing a long drive from daylight into night, especially if headed into the sunset, I'll wear sunglasses that are as dark as possible during bright daylight. Once the sun sets, I'll switch to more lightly tinted ones and wear them for as long as I can to help get my eyes better adjusted to the dark.
Once it's pretty dark, I usually take a break at a service station, and in addition to the slight rest I get from topping off the tank, I also take that opportunity to get my windshield as clean as possible - inside and out.
Next I'll wipe off my driving glasses, and finally, use some "Clear Eyes" eye drops in my eyes.
Finally, a sort of "last resort" trick I use to improve my vision right after passing an oncoming car with very bright headlights is to close one eye for a few seconds as the on coming car is within a certain distance. That way the iris in that eye doesn't have to readjust as much as the one that was blinded by the oncoming headlights.
All of those things make driving at night a little easier.
I must be the only one who LOVES driving at night.
When I was a kid, I did a lot of long-distance driving with my dad, and we were on the road a lot at night. I always loved that. It seemed so cool to be out on the roads at night when most of the world was tucked into their houses. It always seemed like an adventure. And then, I'm an avid backpacker and have been known to solo. I love the woods at night and the sounds of owls. It's lovely at night when it's quiet and dark.
Within the last 30 minutes I walked in the door following a 3-hour ride, mostly on the PA turnpike. It's not late, but the days are short now. I purposely left as the sun was going down, because I love watching the pinks and oranges of sunset. The moon is full tonight, and I saw the moon rise tonight, too. Che bella luna! It was just beautiful.
I have a dependable car, and if I were in trouble, I know basic mechanics, have a cell phone and AAA. I also know that most people are good people, and so that's how I choose to live my life ... counting on the good and appreciating the beautiful things. It makes me happy, and I'm well aware that the time is approaching when my eyesight, joints and muscles might not allow me to enjoy the simple things like driving at night or setting up my tent along a trail somewhere. So I'm doing it while I can!
While driving, some guy got really mad at me one time - I guess I cut him off? (sm)
I have no idea - but he followed me for miles on a busy road and kept pulling in front of me and slamming on the brakes, pulling up beside me and flipping me off, running up at the back of my car - scared me to death. No cell phone back then to call the police!
One day a few years back I was driving
to work (when I actually left the house to work) and I saw a man shoveling snow in his driveway, dressed like a normal man, but wearing a pair of red pumps. I almost crashed into a parked car doing a double take. He was tall and husky, built like a man, so I know it wasn't a woman. I got to work and told everyone and I don't think they believed me.
I went to 2 different high schools and when it came to driving....sm
the 1st high school a lot of the parents gave their kids brand new cars for their 16th birthday and paid for everything. A lot of those kids would wreck their cars and didn't care because they had no true repercussions.
The 2nd high school I went to after we moved was in a more economically depressed area. The kids that did have cars, generally had older used cars, had to work part-time to pay for the expenses of it and rarely got into accidents.
I drove a family car and while I was a senior in high school I took a full load of high school classes, 12 hours of college classes, worked 15 hours a week to pay for gas, insurance, upkeep, and was in marching/concert band, and made straight A's because I was determined to do all of this.
No way...driving cross country just as..
we do every year. DH and I take the month of May off for vacation and drive a Ford Explorer. Yes I have a large vehicle and no I don't feel guilty about having it It comes down to being economical in other ways. We use a credit card for the whole trip for gas and hotels, etc and get a 5% rebate. The vacation money is already put away in the bank so when we get back I just write a check for the bill. We have some of the highest gas prices here in the west and always figure it is a treat to head east and watch the prices drop a bit.
husband driving you crazy
Well, you could be like me and a lot of other women...no husband...all alone. I have all the time to myself I want and care to have. I was married once, and we worked together on the ranch and loved it. I like the suggestion that you go on a weekly date, or biweekly. Men do not know how to set these kinds of things up, so I will be on your shoulders to do this. Be creative and include things you both like to do. Wish I had that option.
I have two teens of driving age who both have their own cars. sm
My older teen is 19. She pays for her own insurance, but is on my policy. I will pay for my 17 year old until he is 19. I got them both used cars, and now if they want to sell them and get another one, that's up to them.
I am randomly tested for my bus driving - sm
duties. I get one day notice then have to show up at the testing place with a few other drivers and we either get alcohol testing (breathalizer) or a drug (pee) test, or both. If you test positive, you are immediately fired. I don't have a problem with that as I am responsible for other people's children and certainly would not want some alcholic or stoner driving my kids.
I've had 2 teen boys and my suggestion is to
take him to SuperCuts where for really cheap you can get him a hip cut. Have him look at the books/magazines and then ask the stylist for her opinion depending on his face structure, hair type, etc. Next, I would go to Target for his clothes - they are a little more expensive but classy - WalMart is pretty well hated by all teens.... he would probably rather have fewer shirts and pants and have them be a little nicer...... and shop for some bargain shoes - Famous Footwear - or check sales and don't forget the internet!! JCPenney is great also - almost forgot about them!!
Great teen stores. They are owned by the same ... SM
establishment (for lack of a better word LOL). Gap is the more expensive, higher end, clothing. Old Navy is less expensive and is what the kids around here wear the most of. Either is really good but Old Navy goes a lot further in your budget.
Maurice's is good and not so high priced, if you have one of those nearby. And don't forget about the old standbys like Macy's, Penney's, Sears, and Belk's if these are in your area of the country.
I feel like if I don't change the course now then I will have problems when he is a teen (sm)
I am hoping if I can find a way to alter his course, maybe it can go in a different direction. I know everyone has their own personality, but I think as parents it is our job to do our best to raise them to be the best adults they can be, and to give them a chance at having a happy adult life. If I just ignore it, I think I would not be doing my job as a mom.
When I was a teen & my sister was 10, my parents banned
We got around that one pretty easily. At 10:00 or so, we'd each yawn, say goodnight, and go to bed. Our parents usually followed not long after. At 11:30 I'd get up, wake up my sister, and we'd sneak back out to the living room to watch it with the sound way down. My parent's bedroom was back at the other end of the house, so they couldn't hear it or see the light from the TV. We never got caught, either! Hehe
Well, I was not on a teen-role model, not in the public eye
no one was looking to me and I got myself into trouble and had more sense than to know I wanted to nor could I raise a child at my age(by the way, not 16, older). I assumed responsibility because I took care of things, did not regret then nor now and never have. She, from what I hear, did not tell her mother until well past the time she could have gotten an abortion, sounds like she wanted to be pregnant. I have absolutely no regrets about things I have done in the past.
I'm not a teen, far from it but I get SVT a couple of times a year sm
I usually get it in the middle of the night and it usually lasts about 4 hours. I am prescribed 40 mg of verapamil, which I take 1 at the onset and then 1 every hour until it eases up. I usually end up taking about 4 or 5. That works for me, but then I'm usually wiped out for a few hours afterwards.
My first experience where this lasted more than a few minutes, I went to the ER and they gave me 6 mg of adenosine which converted me. They were able to see the SVT on my EKG, so the cardiologist was able to correctly treat me. They have offered me other treatment options, such as electrophysiology ablation, but since I only get it a couple of times a year, I'm not at the point where I want it treated surgically.
Good luck.
I am not letting my young teen marry an old man.
x
Next door neighbor's teen having parties
I am sooo sick of the next door neighbors. It is a mom and 2 teenage daughters. They have been having a party going on 5 days now. Tons of cars over partially blocking our driveway, loud talking and laughter, underage drinking, throwing their litter (beer cans) onto our side of the yard...etc. I just want to sit out on my porch and not have a gang of teens a few feet away. What kind of mom lets this kind of thing go on and these kids (boys and girls) have spent the night every night. I am sick of it. I thought it would end with today being Monday and the holiday weekend being over. But they continue to hang out over there. I just want peace and quiet like it is usually here. What would you guys do? I would love to call the cops on them but have never done anything like that before. I just feel like this is ridiculous especially since we live in apartment homes and not houses so our duplexes are very close together. 
I think what you are experiencing is all normal teen behavior. sm
I can't think of anyone that I hung around with in my teens that didn't run away. Trust me ---- they ALWAYS COME BACK.
They see someone driving a nice car who paid for food sm
with food stamps, and this is where we began. They have no knowledge of income, housing, if that person owns that car or not, etc, etc. It is all jealousy and rage against a system they do not understand. As I said in the beginning, if you want to change it, then start by trying to change the regulations.
It depends on your vehicle and driving conditions...sm
In most cases you do not need to change it every 3000 miles unless you do a lot of strenuous driving (i.e. mountains or towing things). Your manufacturer of your vehicle can tell you what they recommend. A lot of the newer vehicles have sensors that advise when the oil needs changing based on how dirty it senses it is. The sensor on my Saturn usually alerts me between 6000-7000 miles that the oil needs changing. On our Kia they recommend changing it only every 7500 miles unless rigorous driving has been done, in which case they recommend changing between 3000-5000. Our Ford recommends changing the oil every 3000-5000 miles but it's also the oldest vehicle in our driveway.
How long are my hot flashes going to last? Driving me crazy!!!!!!!!!!
Not wanting to stop for gas and then driving on fumes SM
in hopes of reaching the pumps in time! 
Well, my significant other and I went away today and I was driving. Now he is a very aggressive
driver and I am much more cautious so it did not go well. I just dont pass everything in site with one foot on the gas and one on the brake. What a pain to have a passenger like that in the car telling you this and that and I would have been way up there by nowetc. Not much fun. I dont like to drive by the seat of my pants.
Unemployed husband driving me crazy sm
If my chair so much as squeaks, he has to open the bedroom door and see if I am really working. If the phone rings, he picks up the phone in the bedroom to listen in. This is getting way out of hand.
I asked him to stop doing this but he got really mad and said I should have nothing to hide. I don't have anything to hide but he is really really working my last nerve!
I am about ready to flip out. 
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