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This mother saying too big a town for driving through yet

Posted By: More age on my speedometer on 2007-10-22
In Reply to: My experience - DW

I honestly can understand this as when my children first started driving we were living in a huge city and all the freeways around, not some small town where everyone knows everyone and I bit my nails to the quick. The mother probably just wants the child to get more experience under his belt before he tries such a trip and the son is lying to her and making this trip regardless. He and the girl both sound like they are too much into each other for things like school right now. It happened to me- son just did not want school after high school. Sad when it is handed to you on a silver platter.


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I totally relate..my daughter AND my mother are driving me insane.
It's funny you should mention Melodie Beattie as I went online today to look for support groups and someone mentioned that book. When I saw the description of "copendency" it fit my daughter..in EVERY category, and I know that I, of course, fell into the "enabler" category. Between my daughter calling 15 times a day and my mother..I am ready to move away and let someone else deal with them for a while. In a way, my mother is like my daughter..she also calls for money. Ironically, she does not like my daughter because of what my daughter has put me through. Funny how she doesn't realize that she does the same thing..emotional manipulation..guilt trips. I just want to be mentally free from them, and for this, I am getting help. They have drug me into depression, along with them. They are both bipolar and I think I am almost there with them, because one minute I feel so happy and positive..and then they call..and I'm depressed. I pray for strength..Thanks for your kind words. I can't help them anymore but I can save myself.
My mother lives in the very small town
of McCrory which is in NE Arkansas. My stepdaughter lives in Little Rock. We lived in Searcy up until about a year ago when we moved here. I work for the North Region for MQ part-time.
This town has been through so much. The same storm that hit the town of Enterprise sm

the high school where 15+ kids died when a tornado hit their school, destroyed this hospital in Americus, GA.  The town was devastated. Please see this local news link to help them win an MRI machine. Thanks everyone!!


 


http://www.wrbl.com/index.php/news/article/sumter-regional-hospital-enters-contest/3057/


driving
I'm the last dinosaur - I don't think teenagers should be driving their own cars. She needs to be spending her time on school and music, maybe working 8 or 10 hours a week at a job if she can handle that as well.

A car is a tremendous responsibility and she will have her entire life to paying ins., gas, etc. Give her a couple more years without that responsibility.

Frankly, unless she has to drive to school or work, I wouldn't let her have her own ccar. Not because she isn't mature enough, but because the roads are filled with angry, distracted drivers and I would be afraid everytime she was gone.

Senior year is early enough for her to have her own car.

I know no one else will agree with this, but I wanted to say it. As a former teacher, I believe this is part of the reason the rest of the world does a better job educating their young people. No one else in the world expects their high school students to work for money for a car - their kids are in school as full-time students. Look at their test scores compared to ours and look at who is populating our graduate and professional schools.
Driving to NYC
I'm leaving Saturday morning to go to NYC to see an off-broadway play with my daughter and her friend (my daughter's 13th birthday), and I was wondering if there was anyone in the areas between Upstate NY/Pennsylvania/New Jersey (my route) here that might be able to tell me how the roads are and how the weather in general is.  We have a lot of snow here (some places have over 6 feet) and I'm a little worried.  I've never driven to NYC before so I'm a little worried about the weather.  TIA.
TEEN DRIVING
I just dropped you an email.
These floaters are driving me ...
crazy!! Have any of you had these and if so were they able to be treated and how? Seems like today in my right eye they are worse (I know they can go back and forth). I hope someone out there maybe has an answer to this irritating problem. Thanks.
I hope he is not driving because if he is -sm
it is only a matter of time before he is in an accident, hopefully only a 1 car accident. If is is driving he is not only endangering those in the car, but those on the road driving around him. Point that out if you have not already, very irresponsible and foolish of him IF that is the case. My DH is similar with docs, though he will go the eye doctor, but anything else he has to be dying, I am surprised he is not dead (Had a horrible case of pneumonia a few months before I met him, was out of work for 3 week, temps of 104/105, hallucinations, horrible sweats, etc, crawled in to see the doc at their office a few times, the only thing that saved his life was his girlfriend of the time, though why she never called 911 or took him to the ER is beyond me, he needed hospitalization, total miracle he lived). Mine acts like a big baby most of the time too. If you don't have life insurance on him, get it now while you can, then you will be okay if needed. As for SS disability, it will take a while to get that if he gets to that point, and even then he needs to see doctors and get doctor reports to have that submitted to SS so they can approved disability--but if he has a fixable problem then there is no way he will ever get it. Try to guilt him into to or else just get him in the car somehow and get him to the ER.
Tell him that his criticizing you is driving you away!
My DH has issues with my weight, too. Well, he's not perfect either. He's just as overweight as I am, so why the double standard? I told him if I didn't have to work so much and handle EVERYTHING else that I do (and then I listed everything for him), maybe I'd have time to exercise. He's doing more around the house, and I am making an effort to increase my activity level and eat better. He also had to stop pushing food on me, which I think he equates feeding me as an expression of love. Don't worry about the weight. You can still curl your hair, put on some makeup and wear a little slinky something. Cripes, this is the only time I've actually had boobs! It's not so much the weight that bothers them as the attitude. When you get in a rut wearing elastic waistband pants and a ponytail to work at home in, and you stay in them all the time, you don't feel as feminine as you can. Know what I mean? Forget about the underwear and give him a real woman!
I am not alone! The news is driving
me nuts! But I am like a person with a sore tooth and your tongue can't leave it alone. I should just quit watching. They throw out these headlines and never follow up. The reports involving children are really getting to me. How many times have you seen a missing child story only to have the camera pan to the cross street signs, the block number of the house and then, of all things, "here's her best friend, Ginny, who lives right next door, and says she is really missing her friend tonight", and then they post the child's name on the screen. If the parents don't have anymore sense, you would think the TV station would. They have practically made themselves the pedophile home shopping network. And yes, I have actually written to all the major Houston stations and only one bothered to write me back, the NBC affiliate. I don't know if they stopped doing this, but I just saw one yesterday on ABC, so that had no effect on them. Oh, well, enough of my soap box.
haha! My 5 year old wants to know: Who's driving and what are ALL the
,
Mine also, and I go very fast driving over them
and hold my breath or pray pretty much. Years ago my sister had gone over a bridge traveling to Tennessee just before it collapsed and I never forgot it.

On the news today they said something like 70,000 bridges in the country are in disrepair. I say put our taxes to better use! Do something constructive for a change.

Scary stuff.

I was driving home from work..sm
got the tail end of the report, mostly just that he'd been taken to the hospital, but the somber tone of voice made me realize pretty quickly that he had died. VERY sad day for me, I've always been a fan.
i stopped night driving when I was 48....

I live in a huge metropolis where everyone on the road is nasty.....gave up night driving at 48 due to problems seeing with the red, green, orange-yellow traffic lights PLUS headlights and rear lights. 


I also have just given up driving all together...people are too nasty on the road.......I never did like driving, let my permit expire when I was 16 - never had a huge interest in driving.....just me is all.......


My children drive and all my friends drive so there's no problem whatsoever *lol*


 


Those low-mounted driving lights that - (sm)
illuminate both sides of the road are really helpful on dark country roads at night, and in the rain, too. They help me see puddles of deeper water, especially those along the side of the road that can get you spun around if just one front tire hits them. They're also good if you're watching for deer, pedestrians, etc.

I've learned a few tricks that help improve night driving vision:

First, if your windshield is pitted, replace it. The pits diffuse bright lights and make it hard to see.

Keep your headlights, tail-lights & turn-indicator lights clean so they'll be as bright as possible.

If I've been doing a long drive from daylight into night, especially if headed into the sunset, I'll wear sunglasses that are as dark as possible during bright daylight. Once the sun sets, I'll switch to more lightly tinted ones and wear them for as long as I can to help get my eyes better adjusted to the dark.

Once it's pretty dark, I usually take a break at a service station, and in addition to the slight rest I get from topping off the tank, I also take that opportunity to get my windshield as clean as possible - inside and out.

Next I'll wipe off my driving glasses, and finally, use some "Clear Eyes" eye drops in my eyes.

Finally, a sort of "last resort" trick I use to improve my vision right after passing an oncoming car with very bright headlights is to close one eye for a few seconds as the on coming car is within a certain distance. That way the iris in that eye doesn't have to readjust as much as the one that was blinded by the oncoming headlights.

All of those things make driving at night a little easier.


I must be the only one who LOVES driving at night.
When I was a kid, I did a lot of long-distance driving with my dad, and we were on the road a lot at night. I always loved that. It seemed so cool to be out on the roads at night when most of the world was tucked into their houses. It always seemed like an adventure. And then, I'm an avid backpacker and have been known to solo. I love the woods at night and the sounds of owls. It's lovely at night when it's quiet and dark.
Within the last 30 minutes I walked in the door following a 3-hour ride, mostly on the PA turnpike. It's not late, but the days are short now. I purposely left as the sun was going down, because I love watching the pinks and oranges of sunset. The moon is full tonight, and I saw the moon rise tonight, too. Che bella luna! It was just beautiful.
I have a dependable car, and if I were in trouble, I know basic mechanics, have a cell phone and AAA. I also know that most people are good people, and so that's how I choose to live my life ... counting on the good and appreciating the beautiful things. It makes me happy, and I'm well aware that the time is approaching when my eyesight, joints and muscles might not allow me to enjoy the simple things like driving at night or setting up my tent along a trail somewhere. So I'm doing it while I can!
While driving, some guy got really mad at me one time - I guess I cut him off? (sm)
I have no idea - but he followed me for miles on a busy road and kept pulling in front of me and slamming on the brakes, pulling up beside me and flipping me off, running up at the back of my car - scared me to death. No cell phone back then to call the police!
One day a few years back I was driving
to work (when I actually left the house to work) and I saw a man shoveling snow in his driveway, dressed like a normal man, but wearing a pair of red pumps. I almost crashed into a parked car doing a double take. He was tall and husky, built like a man, so I know it wasn't a woman. I got to work and told everyone and I don't think they believed me.
I went to 2 different high schools and when it came to driving....sm
the 1st high school a lot of the parents gave their kids brand new cars for their 16th birthday and paid for everything. A lot of those kids would wreck their cars and didn't care because they had no true repercussions.

The 2nd high school I went to after we moved was in a more economically depressed area. The kids that did have cars, generally had older used cars, had to work part-time to pay for the expenses of it and rarely got into accidents.

I drove a family car and while I was a senior in high school I took a full load of high school classes, 12 hours of college classes, worked 15 hours a week to pay for gas, insurance, upkeep, and was in marching/concert band, and made straight A's because I was determined to do all of this.
No way...driving cross country just as..
we do every year. DH and I take the month of May off for vacation and drive a Ford Explorer. Yes I have a large vehicle and no I don't feel guilty about having it It comes down to being economical in other ways. We use a credit card for the whole trip for gas and hotels, etc and get a 5% rebate. The vacation money is already put away in the bank so when we get back I just write a check for the bill. We have some of the highest gas prices here in the west and always figure it is a treat to head east and watch the prices drop a bit.
husband driving you crazy
Well, you could be like me and a lot of other women...no husband...all alone.  I have all the time to myself I want and care to have.  I was married once, and we worked together on the ranch and loved it.  I like the suggestion that you go on a weekly date, or biweekly.  Men do not know how to set these kinds of things up, so I will be on your shoulders to do this.  Be creative and include things you both like to do.  Wish I had that option.
I have two teens of driving age who both have their own cars. sm
My older teen is 19. She pays for her own insurance, but is on my policy. I will pay for my 17 year old until he is 19. I got them both used cars, and now if they want to sell them and get another one, that's up to them.
I am randomly tested for my bus driving - sm
duties. I get one day notice then have to show up at the testing place with a few other drivers and we either get alcohol testing (breathalizer) or a drug (pee) test, or both. If you test positive, you are immediately fired. I don't have a problem with that as I am responsible for other people's children and certainly would not want some alcholic or stoner driving my kids.
They see someone driving a nice car who paid for food sm
with food stamps, and this is where we began.  They have no knowledge of income, housing, if that person owns that car or not, etc, etc.  It is all jealousy and rage against a system they do not understand.  As I said in the beginning, if you want to change it, then start by trying to change the regulations.
It depends on your vehicle and driving conditions...sm
In most cases you do not need to change it every 3000 miles unless you do a lot of strenuous driving (i.e. mountains or towing things). Your manufacturer of your vehicle can tell you what they recommend. A lot of the newer vehicles have sensors that advise when the oil needs changing based on how dirty it senses it is. The sensor on my Saturn usually alerts me between 6000-7000 miles that the oil needs changing. On our Kia they recommend changing it only every 7500 miles unless rigorous driving has been done, in which case they recommend changing between 3000-5000. Our Ford recommends changing the oil every 3000-5000 miles but it's also the oldest vehicle in our driveway.
How long are my hot flashes going to last? Driving me crazy!!!!!!!!!!
 
Not wanting to stop for gas and then driving on fumes SM

in hopes of reaching the pumps in time! 


Well, my significant other and I went away today and I was driving. Now he is a very aggressive
driver and I am much more cautious so it did not go well.  I just dont pass everything in site with one foot on the gas and one on the brake.  What a pain to have a passenger like that in the car telling you this and that and I would have been way up there by nowetc.  Not much fun.  I dont like to drive by the seat of my pants.
Unemployed husband driving me crazy sm

If my chair so much as squeaks, he has to open the bedroom door and see if I am really working.    If the phone rings, he picks up the phone in the bedroom to listen in.   This is getting way out of hand.


I asked him to stop doing this but he got really mad and said I should have nothing to hide.  I don't have anything to hide but he is really really working my last nerve!


I am about ready to flip out.


We cut back on driving, and the demand dropped.
Goes to show there is no reason for it to be that high anyway.  If they think they can charge that much and get it, they will. 
I was 18 and driving my Mustang on Main St. listening to the radio.
.
I am thinking of driving to another state for a few days by myself to do some sightseeing. Has
anyone that has done this felt lonely on a driving trip by yourself.  I have done bus trips and trips overseas with groups when the husband doesnt want to go but never drove by myself unless I was meeting someone I knew somewhere.  I just wonder if it would be lonely in a hotel and sightseeing on your own.  Any suggestions.
Angel story - Was driving with my kids to Florida from NC (sm)
We always say a prayer before starting on a trip like that, asking for God to send his angels to protect us. My children were about 5 and 8 years old. I got onto the interstate and before getting to the next exit, my car started bumping really bad, like I had a serious flat or something. I pulled over, got out and looked. It looked fine.  I got back in, drove some more, a few minutes later, it happened again, much worse, the whole car was shaking - hard - not just like an out of balance car, but seriously shaking, almost like the brakes were on and the car was still trying to move.  I took the first exit and saw a repair shop right there!  I asked the guy to look at my car - it looked fine.  He test drove it.  Nothing.  He told me it seemed fine, didn't charge me a dime, and I went on my way.  A few miles down the road right in front of a rest stop was a huge pile of 2 x 4s and 2 x 4s scattered all over the road.  I never had that problem again with my car, ever and never knew what caused it.  But I believe that we were being protected by angels from being there when the 2 x 4s started falling, who knows what might have happened.
I'm in lower NY state. Driving and parking in the city is atrocious. He
s
What to do when you are going to be out of town

of someone whose mother and grandmother are past coworkers? 


We live in a small community and they live also in my neighborhood.  This young girl was only 20 years old.  She has been sick off and on all her life with kidney problems and even had a transplant a few years ago.  Her father had given his kidney and then he passed away from an accident a couple of years after that.  So tragic for this family and their losses.


What could I do for this family.  My mother is going to visitation and will pass on why I couldnt be there. 


What do you say to someone who has lost a child.  I cannot find the words.


Are you in my old town?
I am jealous. As soon as we can we are going back. I miss people who really care and are genuine. We live in a "transient" town, growing continuously, construction everywhere, drugs, alcohol, plastic people, and Stepford Wives are everywhere. Gambling is legal here and all that goes with it are all around you all the time including those who live for it to the detriment of themselves and their families. We went to the DMV yesterday, could not get in, could not even park there after an hour of cruising around looking for a spot. It appeared that only one other person was an American that we saw the whole time. Most were illegal aliens. We have lots of casinos, construction companies, hotels, and lawn services who apparently are unable to properly "screen" them and isn't it great that they have all that cheap labor? Can't go to the DMV tomorrow, it is closed for Vets Day. Can hardly wait to try again. Hope there is at least one other "grandma" there when I get there.

We have one nice neighbor next door on one side - normal, kind, helpful, sharing, caring with a darling little child. Our other neighbor on the other side is a nut-case (and I am being kind here). He speaks to no one. He has a girlfriend now, thank goodness. I say that because before she arrived he removed all lawns, all plants, and just let ugly weeds grown in his yard about knee high. He landscaped the front now and there are flowers on his porch. He still sprays Roundup over the totality of his back yard every season, which is huge, about an acre, so dirt blows over here constantly. For years he just drove off to work (he uses a remote and cruises out, closes the door, and disappears. Like the Burbs. When he leaves he wears a wig (seriously)that is in dire need of thinning and styling. When he comes home it is the same with furtive looks left and right to see if anyone notices him. He is drunk a lot. We know that because then he starts going outside and spies on the neighborhood and he is then without his wig. Whenever we have a family yard project he gets on the roof and watches us. Barbecues in our yard or swims in the pool are not private either if he has been drinking. He likes to "watch." He yells at kids who are unfortunate enough to trick or treat at his house or go there to sell tickets to car washes for the school, etc. Cusses and threatens, they tell us. Says he does not want any rotten kids in his yard. He hates all animals and has been approached by the sheriff for shooting cats and shooting at dogs of our good neighbor from across two fences (my husband was in the line of fire one of those times and the jerk almost got him). He wouldn't answer his door and hid like a woman when I became enraged and banged on his door after that incident.

I want to move so much that I can almost feel what it would be like to drive off from here. I thought the old creep would "move soon" so we have never relocated to get away from him. That is obviously not going to happen and it is 20 years later and here we all are. We have to go outside with all our animals constantly out of fear that he may harm them. I guess he got into serious trouble for is escpades because he now tries to keep his animal hatred down to simply trapping any living creature that comes into his yard and then he has the pound come and pick them up.

I would give a lot if I could live in a community filled with people like yours and the funny part is that when I had that I don't think I appreciated it, just took it for granted. Enjoy your Thanksgiving with them and never move to a place like this! I can't wait to get out of here! Save me a spot for when my husband finally retires. I want three horses, chickens, a couple of cows and a pig. I will bring my three dogs and sit on the porch and be thankful for the friendly feeling!
Question. Do many of you have problems with streets, turns, etc. driving at night in strange areas

you are not familiar with.  I am not thrilled by night driving in unfamiliar towns. 


Whatever my mother-in-law and mother are cooking--lol
we go to my in-laws for Christmas Eve and usually have ham and kielbasa (we are Polish) and then my mom usually has turkey or roasted chicken on Christmas Day
Yes, my town does have and I have thought
about this also. The deputy police this morning told me he has served them before and also when swearing out warrant told by a person in the court had others that this company did same to. If no money in the morning, will definitely see about the television stations. I know I can garnish if I could only find out where they bank.
But you know, with Ms Little Flit Around Town
this probably will be bad for her. Now you and I would not be able to tell the difference as we work from home and stay home a whole lot, but her?? How will she pose from home - will they bring the red carpet to her? Oh, I really feel sorry for that poor little rich girl.
As kind of the new kid in town....

and a very rural town at that, I introduced myself to all my neighbors in walking distance and let them know who I was, gave them my phone number if they ever needed anything, and let them know I was gonna be bringing in some stinky animals and told them I would be doing my best to ensure they wouldn't stink up their joints.  I couldn't believe how welcoming everyone was!  People were genuinely happy to have farm-y neighbors and admitted they were worried when they heard we were "from away," as they thought we'd be tearing down the little house we bought to put up a McMansion or something.  Neighbors even came by with carrots for the animals and asked if their kids could pat the horses and stuff.  One family even invites us to their home for Thanksgiving every year because they know we don't have any family nearby and really can't leave the animals for any length of time.  They give us hugs and welcome us into their home like we are their family.  I can't describe the feeling--it's just awesome.


Now, when we lived in a condo in the city--out of about 100 buildings we knew maybe 3 of our neighbors.  Imagine, packed in like sardines and we never talked to anyone.  Rush rush rush, keep your head low and don't make eye contact.  Darndest thing....of course hardly anyone spoke English as a first language there, but it was still weird to check your mail and have a bunch of people nearby and no one spoke--very icy.  I'm so glad I reverted to bumpkin-like livin'. 



Get this one, ad running here in town
It is a person supposedly in medical field and she is saying got a job at XYZ and says "see what X college have done for me." I want to call the place, tried to find a number- is that the way you want to be represented? Terrible English.
I am in a small town between
Abilene and San Angelo called Ballinger.  My husband has relatives in Abilene. 
also being from a small town...
I would call and speak to the principal directly about what you heard. You can do this anonymous if you want, just don't use your phone as they very often have caller id now. I think it is up to the principal to decide if the comments of your child/friends have any merit. The principal should have ALL information and he/she should go from there. To me, my first and foremost priority would be my child. As for this child being falsely accused of something...well...maybe his parents should have taught him to be prepared to deal with the possible consequences of his actions. All kids make mistakes but sooner or later this individual will have to answer for his remarks and take responsibilty for himself - from my point of view, the sooner the better. I would definitely want to know if my child was speaking to others in this manner. I would not want to jump to conclusions but if your gut feelings say to keep your child home from school, do it. Missing a couple days from school is not the end of the world and I am certain he will not be the only one.
In a town hall
In Denmark by the mayor of the town.
Now that I live in town -- 3

We've only been living in town for about a year now.  In that time, I've only had to borrow an ice pack from the 1.  We have also asked another neighbor to dog-sit for the weekend and my other neighbor I've known since I was in high school and would think nothing of asking her if I needed something (she's also my stylist).  I'm literally right around the corner from the grocery store, so it would be very hard for me to ask for an egg or milk, etc.


When we lived in the country, we only had 2 neighbors, but I the last things I borrowed from them were lemon juice and eggs. 


When I first got married, though, I used to live right beside my grandma and just across from parents.  We used to always call one another for a roll of toilet paper.  I don't know how we always ended up in that situation, but we did.  I guess it was just part of the newlywed process for me (don't know about my parents and grandparents).


I used to live in a town of 200, but now (sm)
I live in a city in the southwest that I believe is close to a population of 1 million or will hit 1 million shortly. It was definitely a shock coming from a small, midwestern town of 200, but I love the big city! :)
small town.
x
that i'd never live in a town again.
i grew up in the city, married and then lived in the country for 20 yr. Said now one'd ever get me to live in town again. Then we moved to another state and couldn't afford a place in the country, with prices higher here. But its a tiny town and though i'd rather live in the country by far, its not that bad...
In my small town
He was a city boy from 12 hours away living with a cousin for a while. I was a small town country girl. We met one night after I got off work and met up with my best friend to go "riding" around. He was with a friend of mine who was his cousin's girlfriend. We got into her car and rode around together. He was asking my friend about me that same night. He finally called about a month later after some misinformation that I was seeing someone and we've been together ever since. I was 16, he was 19. Married 12 years this year with the three best kids in the world!
Did you grow up in 1 town or move...sm

and if you moved, how often and are you glad you moved?  As for me, we moved every other year due to my father's occupation.  There were 2 places I was very glad that we moved from and 2 places I would have loved to have stayed, the others were OK.   When people ask me where I was raised I tell them "everywhere" because that best summarizes it. 


What about you?    Do you have a home town?