Thank you very much, I am begining my journey with my 81yo grandma and really needed that. thanks
Posted By: memt on 2007-10-08
In Reply to: Elderly care advice you might like - Been there
xx
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Just beginning my journey in elder care
93-year-old dad fell six weeks ago (luckily, didn't break any bones). However, he is now dependent on a walker. My 86-year-old mom is getting burned out from taking care of him.
They live in another state and I just visited last weekend. Starting to get an idea of the situation and what they need, what I can do (from a distance), with visits every two months or so.
A friend had a lot of good suggestions. I also am reminding myself that I need to take care of myself (am dealing with a stressful job situation) in order to be able to help them out.
Good for you! My journey this year sounds similar to yours
Perhaps we are put in these situations to learn as we do and then suggest these things to others. You will have a chance to be a psychologist. I will still be a quiet MT, but I hope in my changed attitude about things people notice and ask how or why this happened. Attitude of gratitude is exactly the same technique as change your thoughts change your life. I think we all have an abundance of peace in our heart, we just have to learn how to get there. Most of my life I had no idea. I realize now that it is the want or thirst of control we have to diminish in order for peace to flow. And I don't mean lay on the couch all day and expect things to just come our way. I mean change the need for our having to constantly fix things and allow things be fixed for us in the manner of the universe. Anyway, great for you! And I hope that as the OP, we all someday find happiness in our hearts because that is where it all starts, and then like a flame can become a great big warm fire!
being a grandma
My son-in-law hits the baby. He acts like he is all hyped up on drugs andis really aggressive. There is nothing I can do.
You should give your kids a book about how really smart and gifted children act like heathens when the eat junk food. There are tons out there. Maybe they will take the hint.
my grandma....
Has some money and my mom tries to help her decide what to do with it. I still don't understand what your sister's deal is. Are you implying she WANTS the money when your mother passes away? My mom also speaks about my grandma "losing it", but never mentions MONEY. I think it is right of you to put your foot down with your sister but ALSO discuss the will with your mother. I'm not sure the kind of relationship you have... but I know that my mom can do it with my grandma. I hope you can too
a grandma at 40 wow!
my mom was pushing for that then too but she had to wait until she was 50! ha :)
congratulations and best wishes to your kids and thank your son please for enlisting in the service!
Why should Grandma have to .........sm
help raise 14 kids that her obviously disturbed daughter wants? Grandma raised her child and that child is now a grown adult and supposedly capable of making her own decisions. If she decided to have 14 kids, then she should raise them and not the grandmother.
grandma here...sm
New 1st-time grandma here... I suggest Baby Einstein DVDs, bibs, diapers, Boppy pillow, cloth diapers/burp rags, Onsies in different sizes, books...
I learned from my grandma's and we did that for my FIL.
His service was the best...just friends telling stories about him. I think the reason for the "saving" is because my grandma's funeral was in Iowa. Plus, honestly, I didn't expect that. It was horrible.
grandma care
Does anyone know any good sites for information on taking care of the elderly. My grandmother is 82 and is in a steady decline, but all i find online are places to put her and in care aids. Thanks for any help.
grandma's house
No, I would not make them go - Not all people are meant to be the Norman Rockwell grandma. Why should you subject your children to that? Let her take them for an afternoon or even a whole day if she has something fun planned, then get them before bedtime. I have two grown sons, 31 and 33 years. My older son used to love to go to grandma's house. My younger son hated it. All kids are different. Let them choose. JMHO.
Anything I want - kids are going to Grandma's!
Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer (NM)
decision on grandma
I decided to email tell my grandmother i would bring the boys to her house Tuesday to do their Christmas visiting. I haven't contacted my mother, she lives beside my grandmother; maybe she will come over when she sees my car. Who knows?
Thought it was my grandma
We moved into my grandmother's house after she passed away. One morning while I was asleep that paralyzing episode happened to me. I always thought it was grandma's ghost. For years after I had nightmares about it. For some reason I thought she was mad because her things were moved and she wanted things exactly the way she had them.
Son's wedding - Grandma is insisting
does not want at THEIR wedding. How do I, as the groom's mother, handle this. This has put us in a very awkward situation and I am not liking it at all. She calls me and then immediately calls our son and is leaving nasty messages on both phones. Threatening messages, may be a better word for it. By the way, grandma is also my mom.
I am old enough to be a grandma, but had my son very late in life.
I am tired all the time, but glad to have him. I just can't get off the floor when I play with him there. Anyway, paper dolls! And imagination! And club houses we made with chairs and sheets, or boxes. But we had to put everything away when we were finished playing, and only play with 1 thing out at a time. Today I was just thinking, by the time I finish picking up the house, the kids are back home again and the house is trashed. Ugggg. My parents never nagged at me. They did not have to. I knew 4 o'clock meant vacuuming and that I'd have to wash the pots and pans if I were naughty instead of my mom doing them. And there were no automatic dish washers, or even phone answering machines! So much to remember. If my mom were alive today, she would not even imagine the things we have and how computers have changed the world!
My secret to happiness what something my grandma
told me.
My grandparents were opposites. I asked her on their 50th wedding anniversary how they had been able to stay together so long. She told me this:
You can sacrifice things in your life for the person you love and vice versa. But, if the person loves you and is worth loving, they will not require it of you.
my great-grandma did similar
to what i am told the neti pt stuff does. she would have me plug one side of my nose, and have warm salt water in the sink (basin as she called it) and have me sniff that water into one side and then the other side of my nose. then i'd blow my nose. gosh i hated it, but by golly, it unclogged my head when nothing else would.
Grandma has a question: Are those baby slings SM
any good? Are they comfortable. My daughter will be delivering her second child in Novemeber and I wondered if those things are comfortable, as I was thinking about buying her one.
Do babies like them? Do mothers like them? Thank you.
Time to move out of your grandma's house nm
x
Another grandma here and I admire people who have the patience (sm)
to deal with longer hair. I think they have so many more options as to wearing it up, down, whatever. Enjoy what makes you happy. Who the heck made those other people the judge of what is appropriate for our age?
When my grandma died, it was only maybe 2 months before I got my inheritance. sm
Her will was pretty basic and well spelled out, and nothing was contested by anyone. She had been in the nursing home for quite some time and that bill had to be settled first, and her home had to be sold (which it did extremely quickly since we took the first offer). But she died the end of October and it was still winter when I received my check. I don't remember the exact month, just that it was still cold when I was chasing after the mailman, LOL.
Hopefully yours will progress smoothly. Wills can bring out the worst in people, but it doesn't need to.
Should I make the kids sleep over at Grandma & Grandpa's? (sm)
 My MIL frequently asks for my children to sleep over. In the past, I would force them to go a couple of times a year. The problem is they cry and beg me not to make them go, even now when they are 7 and 10 years old. My MIL is a good person, but she doesn't ask them what they want to do, she tells them what they are going to do. "Now you are going to help me make cookies, then we are going visiting." She doesn't do anything bad, but their home really is incredibly boring. They are very active in their community..but it is sort of "all for show" and they like to take the kids around and "show" them to everyone. I do understand this, but you would not believe the begging and pleading and crying I get from the kids not to have to go. Would you make them go? If so, how often?
We've done that! You can bring pets to my grandma's nursing home on certain days (sm)
You have to go through a little evaluation with your animal, but they have cat days and dog days and you can bring your pets. Walter is a huge patient sweetie - 120 pounds of shiny black fur and muscle - he is quite young and very solid and built. Some of the residents love him so much. He will just slowly walk up to someone he feels might be receptive to him, and when they put their hand out he gets under it and next thing you know he has his big head in their lab and they are slowly petting him, over and over and over. It is so heartwarming when you are watching.... I mean literally your heart is so full you can feel it in your throat. I've had to hide my tears every time.
Sometimes a resident, usually a gentleman, will talk about a dog he used to have with the clearest memory.
A funny thing happened when Walter was getting some attention from a women in a wheelchair and he leaned against her and I saw her wheelchair was slowly being pushed across the lawn.
Needed nt
--
Thank you so much...I needed that. nm
x
I needed this
I read this today and loved it: If winter comes, can spring be far behind?
Thank you!! That is EXACTLY what I needed to know sm
I have 2 dogs, one who is VERY furry and I was concerned about dog hair cloggage.
Thanks for taking the time with all the great info :-)
Yes, he needed to go.
I don't know how Scott stayed in as long as he did. Nowhere near the talent of the others, although I believe the the two top contestants are Adam and Alison, who are miles above the rest. I think Adam is an amazing talent and should win. He is the only reason I am watching AI this season. Otherwise, it has gotten extremely boring. I never did understand the enthusiasm for Danny Gokey. Good voice, but he does not appeal to me at all.
You may not believe this and probably will not but thought you needed some help the other day
as I was reading the posts. You certainly came across not just as a person who was grieving but with the last post about the person committing suicide, I was thinking this does not sound exactly right. If I felt depressed and/or suicidal and felt like I could not handle things, your emergency room would probably see you and refer you to someone and then you would probably wind up waiting again. I doubt they would do anything specific for you. There are some 800 hot line crisis centers you can call.
Thanks so much to you all. I KNEW I needed help! :-)
x
FOOD IS NEEDED!
I volunteer at a food cupboard twice a month. Today I went in to fill requests for families in need, and the shelves of our little interfaith cupboard were nearly empty. It was a struggle to get together some basic items for four families.
This is a problem with food cupboards all over the country. At holiday times, food drives are held and shelves are full. Even during the school year, more donations come in as school and youth groups run food drives to help those in need. But during summer, donations slow to a trickle as people are busy with summertime activities or away on vacation. Food drives are forgotten, but people still need your help.
If you can, please consider donating to your local food cupboard. Anything you can give would be appreciated. Even a couple boxes of cereal or a jar of peanut butter can make a difference!
Thanks again so much..I needed to hear this.
A day doesn't go by that I don't pray for a miracle. As the obvious enabler, I just always feel if I helped her just this one last time, this would be the time she turns it all around and I want to be there for her. Everything positive she does, I praise her, only to be crushed the next minute for it was just a mirage. It wasn't really there. Every night I have gone to bed saying a pray that we can just get through another day, and honestly, some days, I wasn't sure that I wanted to wake up. I just couldn't do it one more minute. When you love someone with everything you have and realize it still is not enough, that right there is the most devastating feeling ever. For every tear she has cried, I've cried thousands. I try to be strong so she thinks I am uncaring. If only she could see or feel what I feel inside. If love could have saved her, she would be. I am going to put it in God's hand because I have nothing left to give. Everyone wonders how and why I have survived and gone through what I have..and honestly, I have no idea. I hate the thought that it has become such a habit that I just expect it. I wait for the calls to come every day, as they will, on the next crisis. I wait for my day to be ruined and that is one of the reasons that I chose to work at home. I was embarrassed when she would call me 15 times at work, even though I told her not to, or she'd show up. Just barge through my office. I've gotten beyond what people think, but I know my friends understand and love me for me. Thanks for listening. Another dark day. Sadly, I have had to pretend to be on vacations so she won't come around trying to manipulate me but then she calls me nonstop on my vacations to send her money. It honestly never stops and I don't think it ever will. Please everyone say a prayer for me...
OMG! Thanks for that. Needed the laugh!!!
XX
Thank you so much for your kindness. It's just what I needed sm
right now. I've never been one to have the "victim mentality" although I can see how my post probably came off that way. They never gave me a chance from the start so you hit it right on when you called it a tribe mentality. I think a lot of it is jealousy - as my mom points out - I had that a lot growing up because I tend to get along with everyone - not a jealous bone in my body - and I can tend to irritate those who "don't like everyone" or who have sour attitudes.
When the poster said that she found it hard to believe that all 3 hate me for NO REASON I didn't want to respond because they do hate me for no reason. If you were to ask them why they don't like me or want me around their answer is, "just because I don't."
Anyways, your post was very kind and I am thankful for it. God bless you!
Gift help needed....
For my hubby's company Christmas party this year, we need to take a wrapped gift ranging in price of $18 and $22. They are doing the "everyone pick a gift" sorta thing. So, it will need to be for male or female, ranging in ages from 20-60. See my dilemma? I am thinking a gift card wrapped in a huge box. LOL
I would appreciate your suggestions!
Thanks!
No electric needed.
If they sleep together, they dont need electric heat, body heat will be enough. I would build a "cave" of strawbales, toss in some loose straw and there ya go. I wouldnt use blankies as if they get wet, they will freeze. Like lying on an ice cubes Mostly, dogs just need to be out of.the wind. If they dont sleep together, just build 2 caves. Either way, should be snug so body heat will build a pocket of warmth around dog.
sweet....I needed that
nm
opinion needed
(some background info) My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years, been together for 15 years. He has a friend whom he has been friends with since high school. His friend is married and we have become somewhat friends as a couple. I really don't like these people but I have NEVER let them know this. Its really that I don't respect the things that they do, on the other hand they are very nice and would do anything for you so I tolerate them. They have a garage that is full of pictures of naked girls so I don't allow my children in there (my husband doesn't get this but that's another issue altogether) and they are very "sexual" with each other regardless of who is around them (again I don't like my children seeing this). Needless to say unless I can find a babysitter for my kids I don't generally like to go to their house. Well my husband turned 40 last week and this couple wanted to take him out for his birthday. Apparently they started planning this with my husband a few weeks before his actual birthday. My problem is I wasn't invited. I could see if it was just the guys but the fact that the husband and wife were taking my husband out along with another friend (male) and I wasn't invited bothers me. It immediately made me think that they were taking him to a strip club (which I don't like him to go to, again another issue in itself). My husband wasn't going to go but then Friday he decided he was going. I once again asked him who was going and he said the couple and a friend, still not invite for me. I confronted him with it when he got home from work and told him that I wasn't mad at him but very irritated with the fact that I wasn't invited. He replied that maybe his friend didn't think I could get a sitter to go out (which I am very fortunate and I NEVER have any problems getting a sitter) but that he wouldn't go. He didn't say "geez hon, of course your invited, lets get a sitter and both go", nope he just said "i won't go". A week or so before this he went to this friends house for a football game/party, again I wasn't invited, my husbands reply was "well you don't like football", I feel I should have been able to make my own decision as to whether or not I wanted to go whether I like football or not. Then today for the superbowl my husband tells me he is giong to a party at a coworkers house and then he will be home. Then later a friend of his comes to the house and she's gonna go with him oh but no they aren't going to the friend's house they are going to a different friends house, then the pub and then will be home by halftime, too bad I have to work and can't go. I guess at first I thought it was the first friend who wasn't inviting me and now I'm thinking my husband just doesn't want to be around me. What would you do? I have stayed very calm through all this but its really grating on my nerves now and I was hoping to get some opinions. Thanks so much...
I definitely needed him a few weeks ago.
Definitely HOT. What did you think of the season finale?
Thanks for the site! Just what we needed! (nm)
Why did they say your dog needed a bath?
I just throw my collie mix outside when it rains and maybe take him to the groomer 2 or 3 times a year. If he was rolling around in mud and dead animals, that would be different.
LOL. Thanks. I needed that after the morning I just had. nm
Ok for all us that diagnose others sometimes, help needed here
I have some symptoms here and hoping maybe some of you have heard of before and can give me some "diagnosing." I do it myself quite a bit. Like I told my aunt, after doing this before the telephone was invented, sometimes we hear so much and pick up on things so hopefully someone out there can give me a hand. Here we go and thanks so much:
Pain on my right hand side around my rib cage, it's not a constant pain, I feel it when I take deep breaths.
Pain around abdomen when having a bowel movement
Slight pain in abdomen when walking
Some abdomen pain comes on suddenly while sitting still but not often.
A pain in or around my neck that is noticeable when I burp.
Needed that one for today. Thanks!!! NM.
NM
BCP helped me immensely, but I needed to take sm
something for nausea for the first week. Can't remember what it was, but it really helped. It was an antinausea med for pregnant women. You should see a gynecologist, though, to see if you have something that could be causing the pain, like endometriosis, or even cervical stenosis (what I had) which was helped with a D&C. Don't suffer. Life is too short.
What's shocking is that a rule is needed.
Many here have acted like this is normal behavior and should be excused and there are reasons for it, etc. Sure there are.........and there also many, many kids who do it to be obnoxious and so it has become a problem - like so many other things - but these parents continue to excuse their kids.
how many of you needed scholarships for college
tuition for you or a child and didn't qualify - did ya know the illegal immigrants are getting them? That's when I went off!
This will be total and much needed catharsis....
I am almost 54 years old and the permeating thought in my brain is that I am "a monstrosity," something my mother called my sister and I because we were tall. My father is still alive at 86 and says about some "pretty little thing." THAT drives me INSANE because I am not. He asks when I am going to play piano for him, and I laugh, but I think, "Never, because you have always criticized me." Still does. God help us all. That's the thing that has totally messed up my brain. I am a "monstrosity" and will never be a "pretty little thing." There. Now I have said it on the internet.
But, FYI, I am not a tall humongous woman, I am just tall and not a "pretty little thing." There, I typed it and that's almost like saying it out loud.
This thread ROX!
No reality check needed here (sm)
as far as any animal abuser goes. These are not little children--these are TEENAGERS. Dollars to doughnuts they've done this before....They were just caught this time.
You are right, cats are animals and not people. Animals cannot speak for themselves. They cannot call anyone for help. They cannot defend themselves against the ultimate predator--us, but yet we brought them into this world to make our lives richer. It is therefore our responsibilty to ensure their safety.
You are fortunate you can stay naive to such atrocities commited against animals and can shrug it off as just a couple of messed up girls who need a hug. It's just a newspaper clipping to you.
Divine intervention needed.... sm
Neatly stenciled white letters on brown sawhorse by side entrance to local church:
HANDYCAPPED PARKING
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