Just beginning my journey in elder care
Posted By: suggestions on 2007-03-08
In Reply to:
93-year-old dad fell six weeks ago (luckily, didn't break any bones). However, he is now dependent on a walker. My 86-year-old mom is getting burned out from taking care of him.
They live in another state and I just visited last weekend. Starting to get an idea of the situation and what they need, what I can do (from a distance), with visits every two months or so.
A friend had a lot of good suggestions. I also am reminding myself that I need to take care of myself (am dealing with a stressful job situation) in order to be able to help them out.
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Need help with in-home elder care...
Hi everyone, I need some help finding something we are in need of here at our house. My mother now lives with us, she has numerous medical problems including a recent triple bypass that she's trying to recover from right now. I have been worried that something might happen to her getting up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night or something other situation in which we wouldn't be aware she needed help. This is a fairly large house, and we could either be upstairs in bed and would never hear her, or even just out in our family room and would not be able to hear her in her living room. Tonight was the proof I was scared of. Her sugar bottomed out..I was at one end of the house and she was at the other..and no way of her to let us know she needed help. I did go in there in time to find her and get her some orange juice and get her alright again, but I felt so horrible thinking of how scared she must have been not being able to do anything for herself. I have been looking and looking for some type of home monitor that she could wear a wristband or necklace with an alert button on it that she could push and it would send an alert to a receiver in the other areas of the home. I can find tons of home alert systems but they are all for the programs that send the alert to a company who then alerts ambulance, police, etc....that's not what we need. I have even thought of putting my daughter's old baby monitor in her room, but there are several rooms which she spends her time in...not to mention she could have a fall in the hallway completely out of range of any of it. Has anyone ever seen or personally used any type of alert system that would help fit our needs? Sorry for the long post, I guess after that scare I needed to do a little venting too. I don't want her to be in that situation again of helplessness. Thanks to all who took the time to read and respond.
wow that's SO true-we tend to the elder parent who....
at least some of us will make/made that choice - I certainly did.....well, the abusive one died many years prior to the nonabusive parent (the Lord does have one strange sense of humor I thought back then *lol*) and took care of the nonabusive parent for 10 years until their demise.
Children are forgiving, but if a parent NEVER says *I'm sorry* or *I was wrong* when, indeed, they are/were wrong, well I do not believe children/offspring forget.
just my 3 cents worth......
Thank you very much, I am begining my journey with my 81yo grandma and really needed that. thanks
xx
Good for you! My journey this year sounds similar to yours
Perhaps we are put in these situations to learn as we do and then suggest these things to others. You will have a chance to be a psychologist. I will still be a quiet MT, but I hope in my changed attitude about things people notice and ask how or why this happened. Attitude of gratitude is exactly the same technique as change your thoughts change your life. I think we all have an abundance of peace in our heart, we just have to learn how to get there. Most of my life I had no idea. I realize now that it is the want or thirst of control we have to diminish in order for peace to flow. And I don't mean lay on the couch all day and expect things to just come our way. I mean change the need for our having to constantly fix things and allow things be fixed for us in the manner of the universe. Anyway, great for you! And I hope that as the OP, we all someday find happiness in our hearts because that is where it all starts, and then like a flame can become a great big warm fire!
I don't care about your things, and can't imagine anyone would care about mine.
Whether it's my eating quirks or my sexual preferences, I have no need to divulge that stuff here.
It's NOT that interesting (mine OR yours!) and nobody cares.
IT IS BEGINNING TO LOOK
Here I am in southern Indiana (right across the river from Louisville, KY) and it is simply beautiful here today! Of course, I get to stay at home and don't have to battle the elements - just keep the fire going!
The temp is around 32 with a brisk wind and it has been snowing furiously for the past half hour. We are only to get a dusting. The birds are flocking to the feeder - gold and scarlet finches, red-headed woodpecker, two pairs of cardinals, nuthatchers, snowbirds, wrens. Top this off with Christmas music playing in the background --- it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
House is totally decorated - in every room including bathrooms - Christmas shopping is probably 2/3 done and ... a whole pile of work waiting on me so I'd better get moving!!!
Merry Christmas to one and all. Don't forget the Reason for the Season!
I am beginning to wonder --sm
about the molestation part too, as he did mention, in what I had the opportunity to hear, rape and molestation several times in his diatribe. Last night on the news, they did several interviews with men and women who had gone to school with him either in high school or at VT and ALL of them said that he never spoke ...ever! When he wrote his plays, the class was supposed to discuss them with the writer for comments and to try to understand what he meant by writing them. When he was asked, he would not speak...not even to the teacher. Several students said that they would try to speak to him or include him in conversations and he would just ignore them. One of his dorm mates said he never spoke to anybody there, ever. There was another teacher, a female, who had asked him to be removed from her class because he was so disruptive and he frightened her. He was also complained against for taking pictures of girls' legs from under his desk with his cell phone. I really don't understand the revolution part either, but he did seem to have some ill feelings for some political leaders, too. How does one become so hateful? I guess we will never really know the answer to that.
Did from the beginning, but then (sm)
we turned off HBO to save money, so I haven't seen this season, but I plan on renting it when it's over. I love that show!! Especially Nikki.
They like him now, in the beginning it was
little difficult. The first time they met him was at the zoo for a picnic through his work. They were 10 and 5 at the time, so that way they weren't just thrown together with him one-on-one like if I had had him over to dinner. In the beginning we did things like that, or went to the movies where they really didn't have to interact all that much with them. Then gradually he was around more and more. They are now 18 and 13 and they get along great. He had an adjusment to make as well, his kids are 25 and 22, so he wasn't used to being around little ones again. We have been together 8 years now, and they just sort of expect him to be around all the time. I didn't try to force him or them on each other, but they knew about him, and once they saw I was happier with him than I had been in years, they adjusted pretty well.
Was beginning to think it was must me
We were old-time Folger's fans until recently, and I told my husband to change the type of coffee we were buying. Folger's tasted different, almost a bitter taste. I too used bottled water, and we changed our coffee pot too. It didn't work, so I am glad to know it was not just my taste buds that were off. It also smelled different.
I'm beginning to think the way to solve this whole (sm)
illegal invasion is to start suing the employers of these criminal scrum (it is after all illegal to be hiring them). The govt won't do anything about them. It's time to use the justice system. Every time one of these criminals kills, rapes, abuses, etc., all the families should sue the employer for criminal negligence. But for the fact they hire these criminals, they wouldn't be able to stay in the US to do their dirty deeds. Hmmm, maybe we need to turn the ambulance-chasing lawyers onto this. It just might work.
I hit hard at the beginning...sm
I work at the beginning of the pay period to get ahead a little bit so if I have a slacking day, I am okay. It is hard to stay motivated constantly, but this way most of the time, I see myself ahead of the game money wise and that motivates me more. I also keep a checklist of the bills and goodies that i want and check them off as i accumulate the money. Keeps my spending under control AND feels great when all those bills have check marks next to them. Doing this stuff, i have almost doubled my production over the last six months. Hope one of these help!
In the beginning, I thought she was really
talented, but now not so much. Maybe she's just not as good as the others or not progressing as much as they are.
And I agree about the diva attitude. That will work against her because the ones who get an attitude and are rude to the judges don't seem to last long & lose popularity with the voters...
I like Adam....Have from the beginning...
I hope he wins. He is a rocker, have you listened to a rocker who doesn't scream?
Here's the Fugitive beginning narration
As quoted from this site: http://www.tvacres.com/begin_police.htm
" [Voice of William Conrad on regular opening] "The Fugitive...a QM Production...starring David Janssen as Dr. Richard Kimble, an innocent victim of blind justice, falsely convicted for the murder of his wife, reprieved by fate when a train wreck freed him on route to the death house, freed him to hide in lonely desperation, to change his identity, to toil at many jobs, freed him to search for a one-armed man he saw leave the scene of the crime, freed him to run before the relentless pursuit of the police lieutenant obsessed with his capture...Tonight's Episode..."
I get mine taken off Sep. 26. In the beginning your whole mouth sm
feels weird, your lips feel swollen, and you do "feel" ugly when you open up your mouth. I don't even remember they are on anymore.
It's a small price to pay since you will yield great results in the end.
For me, I have clear on top and metal on the bottom. The problem I have is keeping them white since I love colas and teas - they stain easily, so I always rince with cold water after drinking tea or soda.
I see you are complaining about how you look and not about how you feel. The first 2 weeks I couldn't even eat! It was probably the most painful think I've ever experienced with intense jaw and teeth pain and I've had 3 children!
In any case, good luck!
PS: The office who takes care of my braces say that 50% of their patients are adults.
Yes, especially if you've watched from the beginning
Luv it
That's because it should be http at beginning, not https. NM
NM
What infuriates me is that in the beginning he pleaded
totally innocent, knew nothing about it. Then he was offered a plea bargin and of course his attoney told him he'd better take it to get less time. . . now all of a sudden he takes full responsibility and is SO SORRY. People like him turn my stomach. I think he should be thrown into water and electricuted like the poor dogs who either died that way or had their skulls crushed. I can't even look at his face.
If I'm at the beginning, I'll start
with flour and oil or drippings. If I'm at the end, I'll use cornstarch and water.
She's beginning to remind me of Michael Jackson....sm
someone crying out for help but no one getting through to them. Of course Michael would alienate or fire anyone that told him he was crazy. Sad thing for Brittney is that this bizarre behavior will hurt her in her custody attempt for the kids, and if she's that mentally unstable she shouldn't have the kids.
Do you wake up early in the AM with the beginning of pain? (sm)
My migraines were often caused by a sinus headache run amok. I would wake up early, like 4:00 AM, with a tiny little sinus headache. If I was too lazy to get up and take something for it, (decongestant with pseudoephedrine in it) and 2 aspirin, I'd wake up with an out-of-control headache at 8:00 AM that would no longer respond to anything. That in turn would usually trigger a migraine. For me anyway, the secret to preventing the migraine was getting that sinus headache under control. The best combination (for me) was 2 regular-strength Sudafed and 2 extra-strength Excedrin (or Excedrin Migraine) taken immediately upon feeling even the slightest twinge in the early morning. Then I'd go back to sleep, ND 9 times out of 10, I'd wake up headache-free.
For out-of-control migraines, (or when I was out of Imitrex), I had good results with lying down & placing an ice bag directly on the exact spot where the pain was on the top right side of my head, and PUSHING ON IT. Once the proper dilated vein or artery was getting chilled, I would feel relief, but ONLY if I remained absolutely motionless, and KEPT ON PUSHING. Under the best circumstances, I could sometimes abort the migraine in an hour or two. At at the very worst, at least it made it easier to endure.
Sometimes sucking on a popsicle helps, too! (But probably not a good idea for the sinusitis!) ;D
With a recent sinus INFECTION, I got good, though not long-lasting, pain relief with Excedrin Sinus Headache, which has no aspirin in it.
Have you tried changing brands (or permanancy) of hair colors? Maybe you're allergic to the fumes, if it's not causing your skin to break out.
Interesting Note: I refer to my migraines in the past tense because in the past 6-8 years they've gradually disappeared, and are now rare, and considerably milder. Menopause may have played a role, but about the same time the headaches began to disappear, I had been diagnosed with depression and begun taking an SSRI. SSRIs have recently been found to reduce or eliminate menopausal symptoms, and I believe it, as I never had any symptoms at all - not even a single hot flash. I notice while transcribing (especially Neurology...) that lots of people who have depression also have migraines. Coincidence? I'm starting to think not. My depressive episodes almost always coincided with a migraine, and it was impossible to tell which one might have caused the other. SO --- if SSRIs can cure hot flashes, I wonder if they might also be helping with the migraines, which are also a result of dilated blood vessel(s)??? Food for thought. Might be worth asking a neurologist about.
As for migraine PREVENTION, I learned a lot from a doctor I used to have who GOT migraines. (BIG difference between that type of doc, and one who DOESN'T get them!) He told me to avoid:
1. Strobe lights or strobing fluorescent lights.*
2. Sleeping in late on weekends if I normally get up early on weekdays.
3. Skipping meals.
4. Movies, cartoons or TV shows with bright flashing colors/lights and jerky movements.*
5. Looking at copy-machines while they are photocopying.*
* (This is because migraines are believed by some doctors to be related to epileptic attacks - the aura, that post-ictal feeling afterwards, etc., and some epileptic attacks can be triggered by strobes and flashing lights. I've even had them brought on by driving along a highway with frequent, intermittent changes from sun to shade caused by a row of tall trees on one side with the sun behind them.)
One more "handy hint", then I'll shut up! You know how when you have a migraine attack, and one by one have to cross things off your day's "to-do" list, including social commitments? And when you call to cancel, people treat you like a malingerer, telling you to just "take an aspirin" and "shake it off?" Or even getting angry and yelling at you? Well, I got tired of that, and started telling folks I had the FLU, instead. Same symptoms, but "flu" is something people can relate to and understand! (Plus they don't want to catch it from you!) ;p
Cold/sinus infection with beginning of period?
Okay, here's the deal. The day before my period, for the last year or so, I get a horrendously bad cold/sinus infection/flu-type process. It usually goes away about a day or two after my period. I have never ever had this happen before and its really bad this month. I have all the symptoms... stuffiness, red runny eyes, runny stuffy nose, pounding headache, throat like daggers, etc. It started as postnasal drip yesterday and I thought ohhh great... here we go. Needless to say I was up most of last night in complete tears because of the pain of it all and not being able to swallow at all. I have tried researching on the internet about this happening, but can't find any information. Has anyone heard of this or had this happen? I just want to stop it. truly, I would take the worst god awful cramps over this torture. I have had this both on and off the pill and I am only 31. Any information would be appreciated as I know what a wealth of information our community could be. Unfortunately, I am in Europe and so I can't go to my GP easily. The doctors here don’t do anything about anything unless its major either and I know they will brush it off as some silly sinus infection, but it happens every month and goes away in 3 days on its own, so it can't be a run of the mill thing. Any advice is welcome. I go home to the US in 6 months and I can wait if I have to, but maybe some angel out there knows something to help. I have tried tons of medications and herbal things/natropathic and nothing works except my period being established.
Thanks in advance and sorry for the icky topic. ;)
this is explained in writing beginning school year.
nm
I agree, in the beginning the media was in such a hype that we got panicky
and now they slowed down too much with the reporting so that we got the impression that it is over, but it is not yet!
Stay careful, out there....
Oh, please! End times! People have been saying that since the beginning times!
It's just sensationalism. It seems that journalism has gone to a warm place in a handbasket. I briefly majored in journalism back in 1980, and what passes for journalism now would have flunked any of us right our of an entry-level course! It's all sensational reporting, because networks think that brings in the viewers, and thus drives up the advertising price that they can charge during broadcasts.
Another of my pet peeves in "journalism" is the phrase "Unconfirmed sources say . . . " Yeah. Right. Unconfirmed sources is just another way of saying, "Rumor has it . . . "
Next time there is breaking news, listen for it. It's said over and over again, because the networks and stations want to get the news out first. I don't know what happened to fact-checking and pursuit of the truth in journalism, but it's all about getting info out fast, and keeping the public tuned in with the most sensational reports that they can put out there.
Back in the days of the Roman Empire, people were treating each other pretty badly and in unbelievable ways, too. Crucifixion comes to mind. So, I don't really think modern news reports are pointing to end times any more than at any other time in recorded history.
got that right!! If u don't take care of your man....nm
.
Somebody already took care of that
I don't really care if you believe me or not.
Whoever stated above that the mother must be a decent person because she raised Daniel for the first 6 years of his life is stating something that is not true. I am just saying that you cannot base her character on that because it is not true, period.
You can believe what you want. I don't care. I don't have reason to come here and make this up, but I know who Daniel was raised by and a lot more than that. The grandmother did not raise him though. A very loving person who I am very close with and who has been in my life as a second mother to me raised him. The grandmother deserves no credit for that.
Trust me, there are a lot more people who this has hurt and affected than just those you see on TV.
Don't really care for any of them that much
And I used to be an AI addict! Now not so much. : (
I just got it right on #4, could care less what others think
NM
Oh, now that would just take care of everything..
Not. I would be just as scared seeing something behind me, if only a glance, as in front or the side. My husband is much more respectable than most because he lets me know prior to entering the door.
Of course I care....
It's called human nature to care about another person who is suffering. And the people who are obsessed with her private life, like yourself, are more than likely a big part of the reason for her suffering. It's just so sad that you felt the need to berate the care she is receiving. You would want the same care for yourself. And with the way she's treated every time she steps foot outside her home, I would think she deserves to have all the privacy that her money can afford. And you can bet it's her own money paying for it, so why do you care if she gets any special attention because the general public won't leave her alone? Shame on you!
You know, I don’t care what you or others do
and I think most here are just seeing what others opinions are, not that they use your suggestions but asking if others have similar things going on. I think you can do what you want at any age; having said that I also find it silly when a really older woman tries to be as young as her grandchildren. I don’t listen to loud music because personally I want to keep my hearing intact and it bothers me now (think it did when in my 20s also, just don’t care for it, ever). Play your games, wear your hair long, blast your music, it is your life. I don’t tell others how to live their life and others don’t tell me. I think most here only asking opinions.
How I took care of this...
…Ok, the housekeeper lives with a sister and they both oversee the care of a retarded lady who is blind, unable to speak, cannot take care of herself- that might be a place the panties could have been used- this person would not know nor care. I brought the housekeeper over tonight and asked her to "look" for my panties as I knew where I put them. She denied taking them, but never would look me in my face, keeping her eyes down to the floor. I am no longer going to use her services- by the way she is most always calling me asking can she come to work, not me as she has never had a real job in the work force, used to live on welfare and food stamps before that went out so making 60-70$ (or if she did more would pay up to 100 or so for her time here) was ok with her. She spent no money driving here, riding public transportation here- I always went to get her which if you look at money wise, it comes out to more than what I actually paid her. The bottom line is my husband has told me for some time things were missing but now I have seen for myself. I want to be able to trust people who are in my home.
when they are old enough to take care of them on their own...
I wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced until I was old enough to take care of it myself...I think about 10 or so? So I would think whenever he's old enough to take care of it himself, that would be the age.
Sheesh. From reading some of the posts here, you would think he was wanting a tatoo of the devil...it's not like he couldn't take those earrings out later if he decided he didn't want them!!!!
You need to take care of your
bills first and not worry about giving gifts. Explain to your family that you will not be giving gifts this year and you expect nothing in return. They may not like it but they will get over it. If they ask questions about what you do with your money (which really is none of their business)just answer them with the economy being so bad you are unable to give gifts. I would hope they understand as everybody is going through it right now. You may feel uncomfortable, but at least you will be able to sleep and not worry whether your bills will be paid or not. Stand firm on this and DO NOT feel guilty as there is no reason to be.
I have also chosen not to exchange gifts this year as I cannot do it. I was surprised that my brother was relieved. Everybody is feeling the crunch.
I wish you much luck!
Do you care....
Which way the TP goes on the roller? I don't but I know some who freak out and have to change it if it's going in the wrong direction.
I don't care for the new way
It's too obvious who's going to get it when they call up a couple at a time.
Secretly, I was kind of hoping Nick Norman made it LOL
These can be taken care of
by injections, just zapping them away, heard not much pain at all, check with a dermatologist. I would not see a plastic surgeon, just give a call and ask. I would not think a cream would do the job.
I really don't care.
An eye for an eye. You correct someone else, so you should expect to be corrected. I only popped in here today to see what was going on. Oh, hey. Ya wanna know what? I can block this site on my own! And I can keep coming back no matter how many times I get kicked off the boards. There are unlimited free email accounts and dynamic IP addresses out there.
The best way to take care of this is
to grow a backbone and say no, cannot have company such and such a time. I do not have to give out any phony pretending not to be home, any thought up why I cannot have company, I just say nope.
Couldn't care less
I couldn't care less whether someone gives me good wishes for Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Winter Solstice, or just a generic "happy holidays." I also don't care what any store decides to name their holiday decorations or sales after.
From a purely economic standpoint, it does make sense for businesses to combine holidays when they occur near each other. If they advertise only "Christmas" items, then it potentially excludes anyone who does not celebrate that holiday. The same goes for Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, etc. To market to the largest number of people, a general "holiday sale" works because each person can take from that what they want. For Christians "the holidays" in December means Christmas. For Jews it means Hanukkah. For pagans it means "Winter Solstice" (which, by the way, is where many Christmas traditions originated from, including the "Christmas" tree, but that's another story for another time).
I guess my point is that I personally feel some people make too big a deal out of things like this. There are far more important things in this world to focus one's attention on than what a store wants to call its sales.
Well, you should care. Clearly, you are not God filled otherwise
you wouldn't have such negative, uncaring thinking about Christmas and not merely assume that it's all about commercialism.
I agree with you, and don't care who it is...!
Even my family doesn't drop by without calling first and I would not do it to them. We were brought up to be polite and courteous. Unfortunately not everyone is.
The police have enough to take care of besides
a person calling them if they got a card from an unknown person?? That is not what the police are for, them out investigating a birthday card and someone else is being robbed, assulted or whatever.. My goodness, think about your answer before you do post. The person on the post seems to be a caring person. If you have emergency, then the police should be called!!
I don't care if they belch,
yawn, cough, or fart, as long as they don't KEEP TALKING while doing it! ARRGGHHH!
Acute Care?
Hi there,
I was wondering if someone could help me. I've been researching courses in medical transcription, and I have seen quite a few times a reference to "acute care reports". I was hoping someone could explain what that was. Thanks!
I also don't care if they are young
and committing such a horrible crime on someone else who is more vulnerable.
The excuses run out eventually. If they give the excuse that THEY were molested as children then they absolutely KNOW that what they are doing to someone else is COMPLETELY wrong. No sympathy. Not one teeny tiny little bit.
No. I don't care what others say, I make my own
nm
Why did you get a dog when you cannot pay for health care
plo
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