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What troubles me most about your post

Posted By: s/m on 2008-06-10
In Reply to: Do any of you have probs with your stepkids? - anon

is the violence your hubby seems to display.  I don't have stepchildren and so will not comment on that aspect.  I have, however, been in a relationship with someone who sounds a lot like your hubby.  Thankfully, no children were involved, but when he got mad, he broke stuff, expensive stuff.  I didn't stay in that relationship but heard later on he was married several times and divorced each with charges of domestic violence against him.  I would be most worried about his temper tantrums escalating into something more. 


As for the child's behavior, this I will comment on as I have a very difficult 7-year-old.  I took him for counseling and learned a lot of insight from the counselor.  There were things I was unintentionally doing to incite him without even realizing it.  The counselor also pointed out that I had 2 other children who did not act like this, so not to blame my parenting skills.  He was just a child who needed to be handled differently.  I felt a lot of guilt the last few years, thinking it was something I did to make him this way, but it turns out, that's just the way he was made.  I'm thankful that I got up the courage to see a counselor, and while our problems weren't solved, they are better.  It's an ongoing process, but he's worth it because I love him so!


I would suggest that you find a private counselor to help you sort this.  I would not invite hubby along just yet.  I also wouldn't tell him about the first appointment until you talk with the counselor on how to broach the subject with him.  I would definitely let him know about the first appointment before the second appointment.  It would probably be a good idea to discuss it when his son is not there.


Good luck with your situation.  I feel for you.  Children can be stressful to any relationship, but the joy they can bring is many times over.




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guy troubles

Since you also have your daughter to think about, you should slow down, for crying out loud.   Two months is such a short time.  Way too early go go away for the weekend together. 


Sorry for your troubles--sm
and I really hate to make it any worse, but from what I hear through the grapevine, if they want to act on that arrest warrant and they know you are going to court tomorrow, they could be there and arrest you there. Just warning you. Good luck.
you seem to have a lot of troubles with your
digestive system.
UTI, gas to fill up up 3 gas tanks, eeeewww! Excuse me but that's no stuff to post on a forum, eeeewwww! No refinement, yuck!
But on the other hand, considering that yoi are a Republican, that's explains it.
Need opinion on guy troubles

I'm a single mom, 32, dating a guy for 2 months.  I sort of know deep down what I need to do but wanted opinions.  We have been dating 2 months, things are going great.  We went away for weekend, good with my daughter, very generous, nice Christmas presents (no card though) for me and daughter (probably $250), talk every day, seeing each other now on weekends and 1 day during week (and we do live 50 miles away).  So yesterday (nice timing on my part), I ask him where are we in the relationship.  He goes into how he does not want to rush things, can't commit to being exclusive, we're both important to him, but he just wants to make sure.  He also said that he is not seeing anyone else at the moment, but it is not ruled out (not looking, but hasn't not stopped getting matches-yes, we met online).


 


Anyway, hurt my feelings, and my gut says to say, you know, I really like you, fine to go slow, but I need to make sure for my own sake that you are not seeing anyone else. 


My fave line from Jerry MacGuire, real men don't shoplift the pootie from a single mom.


 


Anyway, please let me know what you think.  In my opinion, we are not going slow, and things seemed perfetly fine.  And by the way, he came to my daughter's Christmas show this year also, drove 50 miles for that.  Very affectionate to me and good with my daughter, although not rushing that relationship.


Teen Troubles
Can you say, "Dr. Phil?" If you are that desperate, I would definitely consider it.
Troubles with 17-year-old
I am having some troubles with my 17-year-old daughter. She lives with her dad. She is going to be 18 in December and wants to move out. She wants me to move in with me, but I live with my boyfriend and it would not work out for. She is very spoiled and does not follow rules. She wants me to get an apartment and move in with her. I really do not want to do this as she really knows how to push my buttons and I feel we would be arguing all the time. Also, if I move out of my boyfriends, he would probably lose the house if I were not helping out with bills. Has anyone else been in this situation? Any suggestions would be appreciated.
nor was I offended. Sorry for your troubles in the marriage. sm
Maybe he just needed some "relief" if the two of you are not getting along so well in the bedroom, so to speak, if you catch my drift.
Well, you post with something that is going to --sm
get your *butt jumped* and then you cry when someone does. judgemental of everything, huh? don't get your halo in a twist. geez.
your post says *they*...
Is more than 1 of your children living with this person? Just curious...
Thank you for your post....sm
at least YOU seem to understand the concept of what a thyroid problem can do to a person...unlike anon poster below, who has a very closed mind about ANYthing she does not agree with.

My thyroid problem is quite bad. I HAVE seen an endocrinologist who explained that thyroid disease is an autoimmune disease, where the body attacks certain organs for no reason. I did not do well on synthetic thyroid replacement and switched to a *natural* form. I am currently taking 120 mg daily and that is a lot. The endocrinologist said that my thyroid was barely functioning at all.

I feel very bad for your brother in law, as I truly understand how he feels. Thank you again for your understanding support for my problem, rather than attacking me with being a food junky, being paranoid, needing a psychiatrist, telling me I am nuts, and to pursue bariatric surgery, which all tends to lower my already low self-esteem. thank you for your courage to post. It is nice to know that SOME people understand.
was the *duh* in yer post necessary?.....
#
better post than your first one *LOL*

I like what you said there - you have had a GOOD solid thing for 41 years now.......or thereabouts with your husband -


Doing this to him, even surreptitiously....do you think this is what HE deserves after you having a full life with him?  Do you have a conscience?  Even if you don't see this guy from 900 miles away - YOU'RE STILL CHEATING, you are carrying on a secret relationship in a secret email account behind your husband's back.........


I ain't judging.........but points upward.........towards G_d.........


jes' sayin'..............


 


how did this post above from 1/16/07 end up

on the top of GAB BOARD?  And silly me, I answered it *LOL* - says Jan 16, 2007....all below this are March of 2007........very bizarre...someone probably trying to invoke conversation(?) 


very_curious_indeed


what does this have to do with my post?
to be adopted already....
I really liked your post, thanks for that!!!..sm
I so respect what you said/typed.......thank you :)
oh that post is NOT *way down below*...sm
it's right under this post *ROFL*....I'm tired.....
Cut off from above post: j/k nm
uhijok
Post (SM)
All prayer requests belong on the Prayer Request board. You access it by going to the Gab board first, then clicking the Prayer Request link just above the posts.

I have not received any emails from you regardnig your post.

Sorry to post again about this but (sm)

Divorce is a huge decision - I have been talking to family and friends but this is the only place I can get anonymous opinions from a lot of people, and it is more likely that someone here may have been through something similar.  My husband now is asking me to not go.  But he has already told me just a few nights ago that he was never happy with me, was always disappointed and frustrated with who I am, and that this is probably the reason he hit me a few years ago.  He went nuts a few years ago during a very minor argument (children were not present), and now says that it was probably because of years of frustration.  But now he is once again asking me to stay.  Because my parents are divorced he says that "divorce is the only thing I know" when faced with conflict.  I have been here almost 14 years and he has never been happy with me.  Even when I was young and thin and our house was spotless.  My question is - if he has never been happy with me, and I have always been a source of frustration, why should I stay now and expect things to improve?  We have been to 4 marriage counsellors in the past.  I am scared about leaving and I still do love him deep down, but why continue to stay if I will never be good enough? 


I should have put LOL after my post
about the fancy car. My parents and my MIL drive "fancy" cars. I agree that wasn't a nice thing to say.
Well, here you can post what you think

Well, here you can post what you think is an awesome idea or might we say lame... (Creativity is the key)


I'll start with:


Awesome:
Water powered cars...


Lame:
Really cool stuff that is ridiculously expensive(i.e. PS3)


Please do post a pic of your pup
if you haven't already. Hayseed knows how.
Was this post really necessary?
Why bother reading a post that doesn't interest you just to post something rude and totally unnecessary? I for one love hearing about the good things in life. It's not just all work, work, work.
see my post sm
Would anyone who has used Cymbalta please reply to my post on the Mental Health board. I think this is suitable for "gab" but only one answer on that board. Thanks! BTW, I don't think exhaustion and pain from this profession is all "in our mind." I hope you agree.
Post her pic?
//
I saw that post too
I'm glad I wasn't the only one confused. This is a gab board and that's what we're doing gabbing about cats and other animals. If he/she isn't interested, just don't read the posts. By the way, I have an all black Halloween cat and the kids get a big kick out of him when them come to the door.
I think your post is right on
My hubs and I have separate and I trust him beyond belief, would never know what he made a year except at tax time. I think it is great to have hubs you trust and can take care of things like yours does. Seems like a dream deal to me. I could care less for doing anything when it comes to financial deals but sometimes have to fool with that. If I had a hubs that dealt with everything, I would be more than happy. You are blessed.
Just saw this post
Yes, his anal glands were really impacted- the post below this 1 helped me tremendously. Never knew felines got that way. He went to the veterinarian the very day I learned about the possibility of what it could be, the vet expressed the glands and relieved that problem. Yesterday my big boy (20 and a half lbs) went to the groomers to get him all cleaned and smelling good again. One more thing I learned- he is double furred boy and hair was even growing over his anus which had to be shaved. He is quite the handsome guy today!
100% right and that is my post
Give varied foods to be served but can you just imagine if 10 or more kids would not eat and demanded certain foods for their own eating? Did not say kids should be forced to eat anything but definitely needs vegetables in their diet. Sit foods on the table, not much fuss and let the child eat and eat good, no junk stuff, no Cokes, no sweetened drinks, no overloading on the chips, cookies and other sweets.
By the way, there is a second pic in that post above. (nm)
.
I just had to post this pic too!
This is my youngest, Scooter, when we first brought him home 2 years ago. He is MUCH bigger now! LOL!
Above post is IMO, of course.
x
Thanks for your post
She's actually the one that's hard on herself. If she was in regular classes it wouldn't matter to me. I'll see what happens when she gets home in an hour.
The post above you was right
You have said as much by "someone saying to mind your own business." It is her business, not any of yours at all. As far as the thrown away card, once a person is given a present, whether it is a card or whatever it is, it is their property then and the person can toss it, hold onto it or do what they like. She is minding her own business as you should. In your posts you come back time and again about what friends you were, how you emailed every day, you seem really clingy to this person, like you cannot make it another day before you hear from her. Do you have any life of your own?
your post
The mare is foaling - NOT having a "baby" thats human and she will either have a colt (male) or a filly (female)

FYI
your post
Sorry Cat, but NO apology is necessary -- the word "foal" was used in the original post, for those who don't know, "give birth" would have been a better term and BTW -- I am the granddaughter of a cattle rancher and have seen my share from BIRTH TO DEATH -- and we are talking 25,000 acres as well thank you VERY much
your post
I was the "oldest granchild" on my mom's side of the family and the "eldest of 4 girls" on my dad's side and he was the baby of his family. My paternal grandmother was the head baker for the local hospital and used to make ALL the "Holiday" pies for the docs to take home -- she had a mincemeat receipie to DIE for but when she died, it went with her :(

My maternal grandparents were great too. Little by little during the depression, they bought land in the Sandhills of Nebraska spent WHOPPING sum of $10 an acre and eventually built the ranch up to be approximately 25K acres, their cattle were pretty much all grass fed, gram had a "scrap bucket" under the sink, which was used to feed the chickens and they produced ORANGE yolks.

I just wish that our generation that is being raised nowadays could somehow understand how much more important the "simple values" are
Thank you for your post!
It sure is refreshing to listen to someone who actually KNOWS about religion and can pontificate (chose this word on purpose) about differences/similarities. If more people KNEW about various religions, we would have more acceptance and less ignorance in the world.

Thanks again, from your friendly agnostic....
your post
I am STILL grieving for what happened in my hometown a week ago today -- it not ONLY affected the university but the surrounding communities as well. If one or 2 of those students at Virginia Tech or NIU had been able to carry a concealed weapon into those classrooms AND being able to confront that assailant then perhaps we would not be MOURNING but REJOICING because lives were saved rather than lost -- You YOUNGSTERS who have NEVER SEEN the tragiedies that have gone on in this country and I am talking from VietNam forward -- need to grow up and quit whining
There was not one post that said
or asked you to stop.  A few people just stated that it was hard to see other threads and I agree with them.  It was fun at first but it became tiring because you could not see threads from other people.  I'm all for it but perhaps a separate game board should be the place for it. 
See my above post nm
A
Thanks so much for your post--you have me so much to think about! sm
You make some excellent points--things I hadn't even considered. I see why you like to decorate--you cover all the scenarios. Thanks again.
Your post described me :-)

Okay, this is the first break I've taken today so thought I'd check out the site.  I read your post and laughed because this has exactly happened to me.  Over the past few days I have visited too frequently and got behind on my work, so I made it a point not to visit the site until I finish my work. 


Gosh - talk about addicted


your post
Being a military widow, I would call the "Jag" office but think first talking to his CO would work, if no help there then the military attornys
Let's all post a pic of our pet...sm
This is my darling Pit Bull, CJ, and my other darling Beagle, Darla.  They are the best of friends. 
Thank you for your post.......s/m.
I have never met a person with a 99.6 percentile IQ.
Now that you explained all what comes with it, I see it quite differently and I agree that people with an IQ of 125-140 are the most fortunate. Because they go with the flow, they are smart, they fit in , they are not 'different.'

Being a beauty queen is also not always a bliss, too intelligent, too beautiful, too rich, ect., it's not good.

But it should not make you unhappy or even suicidal.
This was RE my post below sm
I think the OP should do as she pleases! While *I* have had a lot of flack for *my* decisions...I don't think that having a child or not having a child is selfish, ever. I don't think is requires a justification either.

The only selfishness about children so far as I can see is willy nilly having babies by various fathers, not marrying and giving no thought as to whether you want the children or not, or whether you can care for them or not. This is NOT the case here and I know that.

I am trying to say, having children or not, and the word *selfish*, have nothing in common.
a post for me!! :)
Hi silly girl i feel so special!

I am just settling into being in a new state, living in a hotel room with a kitchen with no stove (i thought I barely cooked but without that I realize how much i need it!!!) Yes there is a microwave, but a small fridge and a freezer that only holds one frozen lean cuisine at a time!!! Find myself eating out way too much... putting everything on credit cards because I haven't transferred banks from west coast to east coast... lost one job and only get paid once a month now... LOL so much going on!!! but I am happy happy happy! :)
I have a myspace page if you're interested but that is a LOT of information to take in! My little sister showed up two days ago as a complete surprise with my niece so I was ecstatic.
Just been workin workin workin what i do. I do still come here and browse but haven't had the chance to sit and really have discussions lately. you are so sweet to have noticed!! ill be back :)


i was about to ask what it was about until i saw a post below...
I don't think I'm interested in reading about losing a child. I have a real sense of fantasy world and I'm not ready yet to deal with all the bad stuff around me!!!
You are 100% right, my post is me to a T
I have far more important things to do that be taken in by a con job. I am really shocked to see that others are so gulliable and open their wallets to a person who does not contribute to her plight but has only made it worse by dropping 8 more. She is mental (for real!) and others who play into it are right along with her.
I just had to post this!
When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume " The Stance."

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance."

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!