guy troubles

Since you also have your daughter to think about, you should slow down, for crying out loud.   Two months is such a short time.  Way too early go go away for the weekend together. 

• Need opinion on guy troubles - nl
  • Just my opinion - nn
  • ease off - Snow Bunny
  • Married? - LuLu
  • Back away now, and do it fast. Then you will find out. I think he is not the one, but you sm - back away
  • Two months is quite a short amount of time.... - SM
  • single-parent dating (sm) - btdt
    • Did the - losinit
    • When it doubt, toss it out (sm) - just my thoughts
    • Wish I had read this when I was younger! - Know better now
    • That was a very good post. I wish more people shared your opinion- - I sure do.(But of course I didnt in my 20s!!
  • I personally know a guy who does that online dating stuff - sm
  • guy troubles - aln
    • Jimminy Crickets! - see message
      • She didn't come with us. - nl
        • sorry, missed that, but use caution just the same - same message
  • I think you do know. He gave you the answer. sm - You know
    • Cut your losses, keep it cordial, and move on. - nm

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I'm a single mom, 32, dating a guy for 2 months.  I sort of know deep down what I need to do but wanted opinions.  We have been dating 2 months, things are going great.  We went away for weekend, good with my daughter, very generous, nice Christmas presents (no card though) for me and daughter (probably $250), talk every day, seeing each other now on weekends and 1 day during week (and we do live 50 miles away).  So yesterday (nice timing on my part), I ask him where are we in the relationship.  He goes into how he does not want to rush things, can't commit to being exclusive, we're both important to him, but he just wants to make sure.  He also said that he is not seeing anyone else at the moment, but it is not ruled out (not looking, but hasn't not stopped getting matches-yes, we met online).

Anyway, hurt my feelings, and my gut says to say, you know, I really like you, fine to go slow, but I need to make sure for my own sake that you are not seeing anyone else. 

My fave line from Jerry MacGuire, real men don't shoplift the pootie from a single mom.

Anyway, please let me know what you think.  In my opinion, we are not going slow, and things seemed perfetly fine.  And by the way, he came to my daughter's Christmas show this year also, drove 50 miles for that.  Very affectionate to me and good with my daughter, although not rushing that relationship.

is the violence your hubby seems to display.  I don't have stepchildren and so will not comment on that aspect.  I have, however, been in a relationship with someone who sounds a lot like your hubby.  Thankfully, no children were involved, but when he got mad, he broke stuff, expensive stuff.  I didn't stay in that relationship but heard later on he was married several times and divorced each with charges of domestic violence against him.  I would be most worried about his temper tantrums escalating into something more. 

As for the child's behavior, this I will comment on as I have a very difficult 7-year-old.  I took him for counseling and learned a lot of insight from the counselor.  There were things I was unintentionally doing to incite him without even realizing it.  The counselor also pointed out that I had 2 other children who did not act like this, so not to blame my parenting skills.  He was just a child who needed to be handled differently.  I felt a lot of guilt the last few years, thinking it was something I did to make him this way, but it turns out, that's just the way he was made.  I'm thankful that I got up the courage to see a counselor, and while our problems weren't solved, they are better.  It's an ongoing process, but he's worth it because I love him so!

I would suggest that you find a private counselor to help you sort this.  I would not invite hubby along just yet.  I also wouldn't tell him about the first appointment until you talk with the counselor on how to broach the subject with him.  I would definitely let him know about the first appointment before the second appointment.  It would probably be a good idea to discuss it when his son is not there.

Good luck with your situation.  I feel for you.  Children can be stressful to any relationship, but the joy they can bring is many times over.