Your knowing the wife well would be
Posted By: Z on 2007-11-01
In Reply to: Is it rude to ask to stay at someone's house (sm) - Lisa
much more important than you hubby talking to his buddy now and then. She's the one stuck with cleaning, getting a guest room set up and worrying about meals. Some women enjoy that, but many are just too busy to drop everything.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
It's all in knowing dogs and knowing
what you're doing. My husband is a K9 officer and unfortunately sometimes he gets calls of pitbulls that have been left outside on a chain and they break the chain and go roam around the neiborhood. Does he kill them? No. Instead, he goes out there and gets the dog and puts it back on its chain and contacts the owner and tells the owner that if there is another occurrence that he will get a ticket and the dog will go to our nearby shelter. Dogs are what people make of them. A few years back it was Chow Chow, Doberman and Rotweillers that were talked about as being mean. An experienced dog handler knows how to handle any dog though.
you have no way of knowing
what any of these people would have been without it.
Knowing about the virus, I would
say no because it just gives a false security and the virus can hibernate so to speak for months before rearing its ugly head. If negative only for you, probably she would think fine and good, can continue on as nothing happened. I don't think teaching her a lesson by a blood test and surely not 1 so soon. I had read about some signs of the virus and saw a huge lymph node on daughter's neck and I probably knew then even before her landing in the hospital with excruciating headaches and high fevers. They asked her to give consent for testing (she was under 21) and hers came back false-positive for several sticks- finally had the most advanced test done and then showed so really the test never showed a positive ever. You know, your daughter might be of age to say whether or not she would have 1 done- check that out first. It was not left up to me to give my yes or no. You know with all the rules and regulations they have now days, things have changed to what it was- a child under 21- you used to give consent, check this out first before rushing into the office. Let me know what you find out- send me an email if you would like. Good luck.
No , they are white and after knowing them
all these years, it was very suprising. Like I said, we all grive in different ways, but I never would have believed that some of the adults would need to be medicated. It is just tragic and painful to see.
Thank you -- it helps just knowing
I'm not the only one with a child like this. What I did learn from the child psychologist is that I have 2 other children who react normally to discontentment. Yes, they get angry and occasionally fight, but not to the extent that this one does.
I have threatened to call the police but never have. Maybe 1 of these times I will. I sympathize with you in your plight. I hope things continue to go well for you and your son. Thank you.
What does the bus driver knowing have to do with this? nm
nm
Knowing him, he would just start groping me from
x
Good for you for knowing that!!! (& sharing) :-D (NM)
x
Yep, I've thought of all that but knowing her
xx
I am afraid knowing too much makes you old
Couples don't make things safe. A lot of times the pervert gets the wife to find the girl to lure her into a sense of false security. If you absolutely are going to do this, base it on the one with the penis, not the "nice" lady!
talk about not knowing when to stop...
maybe someone should unplug your keyboard for today.
re: your first post before things got worse:
quote - If you knew about the possibility of having dementia in your mother and possibly subjecting you to same, why in the world would you ever think about having another child and running the risk of the child not having a mother by the time they are a young teen? That is sad in the fact of you writing a note just in case you are not in a mental state as she ages so she could understand. How old was your mother when she had to be put in a facility? unquote
First the writing the note part was a joke -sort of- and was written with tongue firmly planted in cheek. That this went over your head is sad. Secondly, it was not my pregnancy, it was unplanned, the child has already lost her birth mother, hence being my change of life child as I was not willing to lose the child to stranger adoption and I changed my life for a child I did not give birth to. Still standing by your original post?
Lastly, the child is almost 6 years and my mother went from independent living and driving to being institutionalized in less than 6 months, with her admission to a facility Oct 2008 (8 months ago)...meaning the child was already older than the age of 4 years and in my care before my mother's decline. My mother is 78. Am I still unqualified to be this child's mother? Should I have tied my tubes before having my two older children because my grandmother had dementia? Should my mother have tied hers and ergo avoided my birth? By the way, the child is able to understand much more than most (meaning you) about what happens to many elderly people by having watched the process and knowing the person my mom was before the dementia was so severe. How's that original post tasting about now? Welcome to the world of the sandwich generation. Oh yes lest I forget to say later, thanks for your support.
Sometimes it is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Are you kidding? They will even more knowing the kids today : (
x
May you have peace knowing your love will never end. My sympathies
Beyond the Rainbow
As much as I loved the life we had and all the times we played,
I was so very tired and knew my time on earth would fade.
I saw a wonderous image then of a place that's trouble-free
Where all of us can meet again to spend eternity.
I saw the most beautiful Rainbow, and on the other side
Were meadows rich and beautiful--lush and green and wide!
And running through the meadows as far as the eye could see
Were animals of every sort as healthy as could be!
My own tired, failing body was fresh and healed and new
And I wanted to go run with them, but I had something left to do.
I needed to reach out to you, to tell you I'm alright
That this place is truly wondrful, then a bright Glow pierced the night.
'Twas the Glow of many Candles shining bright and strong and bold
And I knew then that it held your love in its brilliant shades of gold.
For although we may not be together in the way we used to be,
We are still connected by a cord no eye can see.
So whenever you need to find me, we're never far apart
If you look beyond the Rainbow and listen with your heart.
C.G. 1995
My main problem with calamari, besides knowing it's
some ocean creepy-crawly like squid or octopus, is that it has the consistency of rubber. Yuck!
IMO, I can't bring myself to watch The Nativity Story knowing
that the girl playing Mary, at only 16 years old got knocked up by her 19 year old boyfriend. What do you think?
I guess these are the times when people just assume without knowing...
I said when I answered her call "She seemed out of sorts, curt reply, telling me to call her back." Well, with all "assuming" that is going on, I assume people are not reading the post as I stated. If she thinks I am angry, I have told her to ask me. A person who assumes is wrong a lot of the time- as you were here.
My son met his wife somehow
on the internet. They've been married 4 years..Very nice girl... Also know 2 other couples who met online and happy together. susan
Does he have a wife?
Maybe you can talk more calmly with her about it. I would be furious too! But if confronting him you don't know what you may do or say and your daughter doesn't need to lose a friend right now. Dyslexia is not the worst thing that can happen, although right now to her and you it may seem that way.
Have you looked into the disability act laws and getting her some support or into programs for this?
Share the below with your daugher, if you haven't already, it is a list of famous people that had dyslexia; Albert Einstein. Tom Cruise. Thomas Edison. Many others.
http://www.dyslexiamentor.com/famousdyslexics.php
All the best to both of you.
To wife sm
Try some on-line help anonymously for awhile. Just Google recovery or AAonline and you should find some help there. Give him credit and help him. Remove all alcohol from the house, support him and realize it IS a disease, not a flaw in his personality, he inherited this in the gene pool but although there is no cure, it can be turned around with the right support. I know someone who will not admit it and he has lost everything.He thinks beer is not alcohol. So be grateful for the awareness and pay no attention from those who judge. Good luck, it takes a lot of work, it didn't come on overnight but with your help and his higher power, he can do it if he is ready.There is Al-Anon, AA, Adult Children of Alcoholics but beware, some go to these meetings and tell all they hear there. You can decide later if you want the whole community to know. Usually those who judge point the finger, having three pointing back at themselves. It's not always anonymous. Get some professional advice and get rid of all the temptations. You may have to change playmates and playgrounds. You will figure this out as you go along. Only listen to the positive, ignore all who judge, they know not of what they speak, it's a disease. Just treat it as taking the sugar away from the diabetic, same scenario, help but do not enable!
My son and his wife - sm
have been married eleven years and over time developed a pattern for Thanksgiving, at least - they trade off years, one year coming to our house for dinner and her parents' house for dessert, and vice-versa. Of course, she's not a cook and has never been interested in hosting their own holiday dinner. They've always slept over Christmas Eve at our house as we have two more children still in school (had actually, one's not in school anymore but living at home) and shared Christmas morning with us, then go to her parents' house for Christmas dinner. I don't know if that's going to change now that the last of the kids are basically grown now. Unfortunately they aren't able to have kids, but if they did I would encourage them to stay home and we would come to them.
Yes. My son's second wife never
cooked. It was always McD's, Taco Bell, Pizza, etc. She never cleaned either. All she knew how to do was spend the bill money. (She didn't work, BTW).
Now my grandson is on a diet at 15 yo, 195 pounds.Thank heavens, my son woke up and got rid of her.
My mom worked every day and when she came home, made supper and it was always on the table by 5-5:30. If my father was on the 2nd shift, she'd make him a hot meal, put it in a square metal container and I would bicycle it to his work. When I was old enough to use the stove, I would make supper once or twice a night. In the summer, I would clean the house so she would have less to do.
I worked 2 jobs most of my life, but always had time to take my boys to their baseball practice, wrestling practice, and when old enough, to their PT job and pick them up at 10-11:00 when they would get off, went to open house every year to see how they were doing, etc. I also made sure their homework was done (not that boys really bring homework home in those days LOL), had a meal on the table for them every night, never had snacks like chips or pretzels in the house. The only thing they had to drink was water or milk. No soda. BTW, my husband during this time was away from home all week, so it was all left to me.
The parents today are too pressured, as are the kids. Kids are not allowed to be kids anymore. They are 7 going on 70. I think it's time they get back to being normal kids. They need breathing room. I don't know who ever decided that the kids had to be in every sport, every club, every volunteer activity the school has, but it's crazy. Not all kids fit that mold and they shouldn't have to. Plus their grades are expected to be A's and B's, nothing less. Perfection is the norm and no one is perfect.
What's wrong with this picture?
I'll jump down from my soapbox now.
Talking to the ex-wife
Your boyfriend/husband talks to his ex-wife because he is mature. She means nothing to him. He would be with her, not you, if that was his choice. Don't you have ex-boyfriends? Do you speak when you meet them in the street? Please don't go down this road or you will experience a LOT of pain. You cannot ever "make" someone be faithful to you. Either they are or they are not. Dogs need to be tossed aside because life is too short. Work on your self-esteem. Choking someone to death with your insecurity and jealousy is the quickest way to make your boyfriend/husband say, "Bye-bye." My grown children stay with my husband's ex-wife when they are in her city visiting. We have had her over for Thanksgiving dinner. Was it 100% comfortable? No, but we did it for the children. Everyone has a past when they are over 18. Accept it, don't make it bigger than it is, and enjoy your relationship. That is very good advice.
I agree that he should always put his wife first
but my brother was pretty much the same way...family was always an after thought if he thought of them at all and I assure you he is not gay.
To confused wife...
It sounds to me like you've made up your mind that HIS problems are all YOUR fault...they are NOT. The only problems you are responsible for are YOURS. It probably will not matter what you change about you to him. If he's this angry and unstable, he'll ALWAYS find fault with you.
Please don't be naive and think that you can change him...you can't. Only he can do that and he has to want to change his behavior. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and name-calling is by far the most disrespectful thing one person can do to another...especially if the other person is your spouse, the mother of your child.
And your child is being hurt by these outbursts. She would be better off in a broken home than to have to listen to you and your husband screaming and belittling each other all the time. In the end, her self worth will suffer, she'll think she doesn't deserve any better and may actually seek out abusive men when she gets older.
You all need help, even the child. Go to counseling, even if you go alone, but take your daughter with you. It may come to you and your daughter leaving until he agrees to get help. Then if he truly loves you and your family, he will do whatever it takes to make things right. Don't wait around for the abuse to get worse, because inevitably it will escalate. Now is the time to think of you and your daughter first. Your husband is a grown man, he's responsible for him...good luck and God bless...
confused wife
It sounds to me like you are being verbally abused. I went through the exact same thing until I said enough is enough. You are worth more than to be reduced to a *itch. I feel for you, I was in the same situation for 12-1/2 years, everything was my fault. Research the phenomenon of verbal abuse and you will find yourself and your marriage reiterated over and over in the stories you hear. Believe me. You sound just like me and what I went through. You have nothing to lose by just looking into it. Maybe you will find your answer. Don't allow yourself to be treated like that one more day, you are a human being and have God-given rights. I will be praying for you.
I agree about the wife, but...
she knows what side her bread is buttered on! Play the stand by your man, humiliated wife in public means for a much heftier settlement when the divorce proceedings start...not that she doesn't deserve it but come on, if your hubs was going to hookers for almost 10 years you'd be dumb as a post to not suspect it or at least get a hint of it from someone... Then again, they may just have that type of relationship where it is okay with her as long as she has the prestige, power and money that he brings. His daddy is worth 500 million dollars.
At least it is not a bombshell to the wife.
They both admitted their relationships..had counseling and moved on. you know it has been said for years now that good people are afraid to run for office for fear of a skeleton rattling around somewhere. You know an investigative reporter will dig it out.
my hubby did that with his first wife!!
I didn't believe him when he told me that he had only known her for two weeks when he married her! I said to him, "what were you thinking and no, I will not marry you right now"!
The wife will be gone at night
I am still thinking they are going to lock you in the basement for 10 years!
Dear Ms K9's wife
Try as you might, you cannot tell me your husband can approach any and all pitbulls and put them back on their chain- I was not born yesterday and don’t believe that for 1 minute. Tell someone else who does not know better, ok? You have named (except for the doberman) all dogs the police department close to me do not allow to be rescued because of their known aggressive behavior, chows, rotweilers and the pits. Better luck next time, sweetie.
He should consider his wife FIRST, not his stylist.....
nm
As his wife contacted you, you must have had some
contact details. Her son was in jail and instead of helping her, you took their inheritance share, PRETENDING that you do not know their whereabouts?
WOW!
I hope you are not one of those religious freaks, that would really be too much of a hypocrisy!
What the wife says and does is irrelevant
since the agreement was only with the husband. The wife has nothing to do with it.
most of the time it is the wife divorcing the man...sm
not always, but most of the time. I am just expressing caution, and to have eyes wide open. Love or the thought of love, tends to blind people to the true facts. JMO.
wife beaters and rapists.
From what I heard his wife did release
the tape and against court orders. This child was supposed to, from what I heard, going with him somewhere. The mother got into trouble 1 time before for going against court orders. True he did wrong by the ranting but I would be willing to bet you Ms. Kim involved in not following through with court orders. This is probably the case of a child being put in the middle by these 2 who cannot stand 1 another now. Sure it happens all the time but we are not Kim and Alec, right?
yes I believe his present wife was seated next to him
and next to her was Laila's mom. They seemed friendly with each other and both were very supportive of Laila.
A military man shot his wife
This man was our son's recruiter when our son signed with the military three years ago. We had several meetings with him. He was a "fun" guy to be around, always smiling, always happy. But now, this and I can't get over the sick feeling in my stomach. He is on the run, of course. He left behind his little boy, with no mother and now no father. Temporary insanity?????
That wife you wrote about sounds like me! LOL! SM
I was married to a man who cheated for years. I was in total denial. After close to 30 years, I up and left. Best thing I ever did.
Just want to acknowledge point that men don't leave. If they are in a long marriage, and have been getting away with cheating for a long time, AND there is a lot of money involved, what with houses, pensions, savings, etc., THEY DON'T LEAVE.
I admire both your honesty. Good luck.
If he were to leave his wife for you, then at some time in the
_
I am the wife up above. How in the world do you suppose one sm
like me survive with 3 children on 18,000 a year transcribing? Do you know how much it is to rent nowadays? Even though we own? He makes almost 5 times as much as me and yes, the paychecks are great, but I am living proof that money can't buy happiness in a marriage.
But I wouldn't even be able to put food on my kids' plate on my income.
All of you women who say to leave how do you expect us to live if we leave? I don't get it. I don't understand? I have NO family that can help me. None. I don't see it being possible.
Military wife with a suggestion
Beef jerky is a great gift and Jolly Ranchers. My husband is very popular at mail call time.
And then some husbands have their wife spoiled
and give them any and every thing their little heart desires and I am one of those lucky ones. By the way, I don’t even have to cook- he does all that. I am spoiled rotten and loving it.
Looking back, I wanted to ask son's wife
if he were back on meth..That changes a person tremendously. I found out he was doing that when his son was very small- my son arrested- I went to pay his bond and thought for marijuana. When I heard the bondsman say meth I could not believe what I heard. He could have spent some time in jail- even though married I paid for a lawyer (he and his wife did not have the money)- so as I think back just wonder if that is what happened with his change. He had to go through drug rehab and his wife told me not to let her family know (meaning her father/mother, aunts and so). I have seen and talked with his father- never called him a deadbeat- others words, not mine- he could not even take care of himself so how could he take care of others? I think might have been the drugs as far as the dysfunctioning goes?
Have considered it before - would they listen to me, his wife? (sm)
Would I have to show proof?
Did the dopey wife show up for this one?
x
WHY DOES THE BETRAYED WIFE ALWAYS STAND UP
WITH HER HUSBAND WHILE HE TELLS THE WHOLE WORLD HIS DIRTY LAUNDRY! I CERTAINLY WOULD NOT STAND UP THERE WITH HIM, IT MUST BE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE POWER, ETC. WHAT GIVES!
This is a personal subject between him and his wife.
First, I hardly think affairs are only a NY thing. Do you know all of NY office holders? If you believe stats, most American adults have had an affair. I don't think that necessarily makes a person not decent, it just means they're human and had a failing. Personally, I'm tired of God complexes in Government.
This is a personal subject between him and his wife. I wonder how many of us could live up to the scrutiny heaped upon politicians. I KNOW I couldn't. I've made mistakes too.
"I'm leaving my wife." I bought it once...never again. NM
x
As the wife of a past mud-bogger....I can tell you this (sm)
I think he actually should be nice and be willing to help. No he is not obligated to do so, but he should do it out of kindness. My husband as I type, is still out, having driven far off to go duck hunting. Everything is always left up to me and I am afraid that is how it will also be for your daughter. If he is not helpful now, right before the marriage, he will only get worse after. That is a fact. It is a reflection on how much he values your daughter as well. Knowing that her mother is single and does not have others to help, he should be more than willing to come and help. In my case, my husband has never done anything for my family, but I am expected to do tons for his. I do a lot for them and I don't mind, but they never understand that I also do 99% of the child care and house work around here, and I also work. I work from home because with all of my husband's hobbies, someone has to be home to take care of things here!! Okay, off my soap box now. But I disagree with the poster below...You do have a right to be offended.
Would you do the show Wife Swap?
I wouldn't but curious if anyone else here would.
|
