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do you speak with your hands - and I don't mean

Posted By: ormt on 2008-10-06
In Reply to: Something is amiss with husband - witz end

My husband does not listen to me either. He looks like he's paying attention but he misses half of what I say. Couple thought I have is. Awhile ago we were watching a TV special it said that people listen and remember what you say when you talk with your hands (the study was done on school children). Well I don't talk with my hands. Never have and don't know how and when it do it just looks odd. I told him maybe I should start talking with my hands because then he would remember what I tell him.

I'm not sure if this is a normal thing for guys or not. We've been married 26 years and he hardly ever listens to me. I have to repeat things 2 and 3 times. Once we were getting ready to do 3 errands. As we were driving I asked where he was going and he said to this place and I said no, we have to hit these other 2 places first and he claims I never told him. I said I told him twice and then he became irate as though I was pointing out a mistake (he does not take kindly to me pointing out that he made a mistake even if I say it nicely, but he has no qualms in telling me whenever I made a mistake). Anyway...I don't know when my husband stopped listening to me either. Maybe about 10 or so years ago. He'll listen, but I think a lot of it is if I don't say what he want's to hear he just tunes me out. Our things are not major life threatening issues, but a lot have to do with "what he's going to do when he grows up". He's been out of work for about 5 years now and he doesn't know what he wants to do with his life (he's 50 years old). We will talk and talk and talk and then the next day it's back to square one like I never said anything.

Sometimes what I will do that helps is I take scratch pieces of paper and I write notes on them and them leave them all over the place. Like I keep a running list of errands we have to do and keep it on the corner of the table and a couple times through the week I will say we need to to this or we need to do that, and then I ask him when he would like to go do them (usually it's just the grocery store, or the place to pay our bills), but at least that gives him the option of feeling like he's in control of when its going to be done, when actually I am the one in control because the bill will need to be paid in the week. He too can be disrespectful of me and look at me funny if I'm telling him something, so what I've done is if I get the look from him I immediately stop talking. Then I will say the same exact thing he does to me "your not interested in what I'm saying?"

Maybe the note thing will help, it does with me. I wish you luck.


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why can people immigrate to the US if they don't yet speak the language? Canada you have to speak
We briefly looked at emigrating to Canada. They have a point system for admission. You must know at least one and preferably two of their national languages to be admitted (English and French). You also must be young, healthy, and either independently wealthy, or educated and highly skilled in high-income professions. You cannot have a family member with a chronic illness, even if they are not coming with you, because you might send your income home to help them rather than spending it in the Canadian economy. Every child or dependent you have is measured against your wage earning power and if it looks like your family might tax the social system too much, you are turned down. This all makes perfect sense even though it may seem unfair (we looked at it before and decided not to go due to their arms laws. Now they wouldn't take us anyway because I have been diagnosed with MS since then).

This is very, very different from the US who it seems will take anyone and everyone.

I heard about a US chicken processing factory that was working with Welfare to put people to work because their supply of immigrant labor had run short. So, why don't we limit immigration until every American is working who can? And pay them a living wage with healthcare (illegal immigrants are too afraid to ask for these things and so the wage drops and benefits are not provided).
She also has man hands.
adf
it has gone through too many hands
so I wouldn't feel comfortable calling the girl's parents.
hands down
Da Bird, Google it, go nuts for it.
cold hands

I bought a pair of cotton gloves from CVS and cut off the fingertips.  cotton won't make your hands sweat and they are very comfortable and keep the heat in.  look for them where the first aid products are.  if you can't find them someone in pharmacy can help locate them for you.  you get several pair in the box and are very cheap!


I have in in both hands, have for years -sm
but it does not really bother me. As long as I have my keyboard at the right level I am fine, but if I pop the legs up on the keyboard I keep flat, then in a day or so it flares up big-time (I did this when I switched computers as my old keyboard I had the legs up--but on my new one I need to have them down) and my hands will shake a lot, hurt and drive me nuts in general. Braces make it hurt more so I go without them. So I just avoid having my keyboard in the wrong position and I am fine. Granted if I put in a long day my hands get a bit tired but that is it. As for surgery, it is not a permanent fix, it will come back (kind of like laser eye surgery) and you will have gained nothing but a couple years w/o it. But go get checked, they will give you the braces which may take care of it for you, they help many people (just not me) and also try to quit playing with your hair, I am sure that will help but less stress on it.
for my health into a drs. hands without being
x
Assaulted? Put her hands on her? Such a big
laugh for tonight. This is the reason why kids are like they are now. Unbelievable. You said it all really.
Any thoughts on getting ink off my hands? sm
Duh!!  I was really dumb this morning and trying to use this ink refill kit I bought and didn't wear gloves.  Next think I knew I got black ink all over my hands.  I figure I have a couple of choices, I could stay home until it wears off, I could dip both hands up to my wrists in ink and pretend I'm wearing black gloves, or I could ask you all if you have any secrets on how I can get it off. 
I'm fat(wasnt always) but DH cant keep his hands
x
Dyson, hands down (sm)

I've had a Dyson now for oh, 4-5 years, just the plain old base model, and it is beyond fabulous.  You know how the "big" vacuum sales people will come in and do demos in your house, getting more dirt than you knew existed out of things you thought were clean?  Well, my Dyson does that...and it cost a whole lot less.  I'd put it up against a Kirby or Rainbow any day. 


Hope this helps.


HC


Keep your hands off your face
and be very gentle with the skin around your eyes and face. I see other people rub their eyes and faces vigorously when they're tired, and when the hands come down, I see wrinkles around the eyes. I'm 45 and people think I'm as young as 26. I do have the dark circles, which I have to cover with 16-hour foundation in a shade lighter than my regular foundation. Then I set with powder. I sometimes apply a dab of pink powder to the darkest areas or the inside corner area. This is what the makeup artist from What Not To Wear does to counter darkness. Preparation H is supposed to shrink bags.
to the lady with hot hands

Sorry I have not responded.  Been busy for a change, lol. 


Thanks for the kind words.  I actually am not on any medication right now for the RA.  I switched rheumatologists a few months ago, and because my bloodwork was so very mildly positive and because I am hypermobile, they decided to see what would happen if I were taken off my Plaquenil.  Proud to say I stiffened up after a few months, but my blood work is still not showing much inflammation, even though my rheumatoid factor has increased. 


I also decided to not try any of the other medications.  I know, it sounds risky and perhaps even stupid, but I just got off some harsh medications for another condition and I am kind of bucking the system.  Because I have not had a flareup (that I am aware of, and i think those are hard to miss) since I stopped the medication, I am going to play it by ear, see what happens. 


I did find out last week that my thyroid has finally tanked, and have started Synthroid for that.  Poor thing was tested so many times and never came back abnormal. 


Anyhow, I would talk to my doc if I were you about all the autoimmune disorders, have them run some blood tests and see if anything shows up.  Here is another tip I have just learned - both with thyroid and with RA - even if your blood work shows up negative, if you have all the clinical symptoms of disease/disorder/syndrome "x", they should consider treating for it.  I waited at least three years for a diagnosis on the RA, and my main symptom was the feeling yucky and sick but not sick all the time.  It just had not shown up in my bloodwork until about a year ago, and by the time it had, I wasted a lot of time being tired. 


Oh, also check your vitamin D.


Sorry so rambly.  Good luck


HC


My family...hands down
My 2 year old- I laugh at her every day she is SO funny. Right now I am her world and she is just about the sweetest thing on the planet! My son who is so funny, the things he comes up with, plus he loves his mamma and is a total sweetheart even when he is being a "brother" to his sisters. My oldest daughter who even though she is getting an attitude still needs the reassurance and love from her mother, just inside the house where no one can see, lol. I LOVE my family, they are my world. And last but not least my wonderful husband who calls me 2-3 times a day from work just to talk to me even though he gets made fun of by the boys at work. He knows I don't get a lot of adult interaction so he started calling me at home when I started working at home 6+ years ago. We are not perfect by any means but I think we have a pretty perfect life :)
No you wouldn't. I win hands down.
We have a coal stove and it is the dirtiest heat in the world, but keeps us warm. I have more than an inch of dust on everything in less than a week. Can't wait until spring.
I would say no, I speak though as one of the few who cannot -sm
breastfeed though (apparently something is missing or does not work right anyways ), so both my kids were formula fed. It is dangerous to have it drilled into you that you should breast-feed. I tried and tried not knowing any better and my poor daughter basically starved her first week of life, once the doctor's realized I was not making any milk they/we got her on formula right away. I had been giving her about 4 ounces a day of formula anyway once we suspected something was wrong, but they basically yelled at me for doing that. Luckily my child made it through okay and boy could she suck it down once she had something to drink. Too much emphasis is put on breastfeeding, etc. Most of us were probably formula fed and I am sure we all turned out okay.
Please, you cannot speak for all of us...

because I happen to be a Jewish person who believes ALL PEOPLE are the sons and daughters of G_d......and let us not forget that Jesus was Jewish!


We are all the sons and daughters of The Lord......we all need to open our minds.


Have a GREAT Saturday and Shabbot Shalom!! 


Me too, but only if I could speak
nm
cold hands/feet

Any ideas for cold feet and frozen hands (fingers) when working?


my hands are freezing. cant stand
typing with cold hands.  the smallest draft of cool air just kills my hands.  anyone with teh same prob?
taking matters into your own hands
This is a social problem that does not look like it's going to change any time soon. I had a similar experience when my daughter was in the 4th grade. She's in college now... not promising huh?

Anyhow, I ended up moving 150 miles to a good school district in an affordable neighborhood. Sounds like an oxymoron, but I researched and did what I had to do.

I moved again when I realized the high school she was districted for had a very bad record, not to mention it was almost 2 times overpopulated.

I know this is not an option for most people, but since it was just the 2 of us and I worked for a national, it was the only thing to do.

Both moves were of huge benefit to her intellectualy and emotionally.

If I were you, I would strongly consider home-schooling or moving. Most kids are taught to read in preschool or kindergarten, so I'm assuming your school district must be extremely lacking if they didn't address her reading problem then.

I would also suggest you try to make your voice heard by writing your congressman. This is a political issue that seems to be just danced around at the expense of our children and the future of our country.

But if nothing else, PLEASE spend at least an hour a day on her reading. Take her to the library or book store and let her pick out books she likes so the process won't be such a chore for either of you. Try to make it fun and encourage her.

Sorry for going on so long, but really, the best thing you can do is just do it yourself asap. You can't wait for the government/school system to change.
cold hands solution

I found the best solution for when your hands get too cold to type.  I filled an old tube sock with rice. Pop it into the microwave for 4 minutes or so. Put the hot sock in my sweatshirt pocket. I can stick my hands in for a quick warm up most of the afternoon.  It also keeps the rest of me pretty toasty.  ( it is only -3 degrees here!)


Just thought I'd share my idea. Happy Friday.


Please take the phones out of the little girls' hands!
Just got thru watching AI and am disappointed YET AGAIN that Sanjaya was not voted out. It's gotta be all those little 13-year-old girls that are voting for him, because there's not one lick of talent there. Granted Stephanie wasn't at her best last night, but she was at least 10 times better than Sanjaya. They all were, for that matter! Oh well, I still don't believe he will make it much longer. At least I hope not.
How is the daughter with blistered hands?
Did you talk to the MD about your daughter's hands? Have they gotten better or worse?
Otters holding hands
Go to YouTube.com and key in otters holding hands, and you will see the most adorable video of these guys! They are actually holding hands, and when they break apart, they get back together, one reaching out to the other to get his hand! The video is amazing!
Wow! Let's shake hands, friend!
That's how peace starts!!! :)
Now being a transcriptionist, we cannot kill our hands but
what works really well are switches. The kids are not abused, beaten, bruised but they sure do not like those. My ex told me you can make a mule mind with switches. I am amused when I read about the wonders of motherhood and then on here mothers posting about their troubles. To me it seems simple- to others it seems barbaric. I think you do not have to beat a child but you cannot let 1 get and keep the upper hand. This is what is happening now.
I have osteorthritis in my hands & fingers. - sm
Also getting it in hip. For the most part, I would say the pain has come on gradually, increasing in each joint over a period of a couple years. Only exception was my right thumb. It has severe OA, which gave me no trouble 'til one evening when I was at my mom's, I was bored, and I texted a bunch of emails to my friend on my cellphone. The next day my thumb ached like crazy. With rest it felt better, but never did go back to baseline.

The quality if the pain is usually not sharp, more like dull ache that varies in intensity. Occasionally, though, moving the affected part in the wrong way (especially turning my hip & thigh inward) can cause a sharper jolt.

Without x-rays & a doctor exam, you probably won't know for sure what it was. As the other poster said, there could be some kind of an acute injury, or even a muscle spasm. But then again, it's always possible there is arthritis in the hand that was quiescent until now.

Now that I know it's not an acute injury, I find heat and gentle stretching to be of help. Also NSAIDs for when it flares up. Most importantly, I keep the part moving. The hip bothers me when I run & do other vigorous exercise, but I find I can warm up, work through the pain, and it ultimately feels better afterward. WARM-UP is the key.

Same with the ouchy thumbs, especially when typing. I keep my workspace warm (I don't use (or even have) AC in hot weather). In cold weather I keep the room war and use typing-gloves.

I would keep an eye on the hand, try to take a few days off from typing, or anything else that makes it worse. Try researching the symptoms online, and if there's no improvement within a reasonable amount of time, since you're an MT and need your hands to make a living, I would self-refer to an orthopedist or a hand specialist. Still, try giving it some time & rest. It could be you were working really hard up to that point, and upon making a sudden, possibly slightly awkward movement while reaching for the cup, the muscles in your hand cramped up. I find that kind of pain to be worse than a fracture!

Take care!
My hands are too warm, for a week or two now (sm)
Thermometer does not show a fever, but every time I touch anyone they say my hands are too hot, and they feel hot to me too, plus I just feel kind of yucky, nonspecific, but just not good.  Anyone know if this is a symptom of anything? Menopause?
Hands down....The English Patient
Absolutely the worst movie I have ever seen.
I can't speak from experience, but (sm)
by what you describe, it sounds as if it was caught early.  This makes all the difference, from what I have read with all cancers, but especially with ovarian cancer - very hard to detect.  So that cyst was probably a good thing for you!!  I will keep you in my prayers.  Let us know how things go. 
Ask to speak with his supervisor and also
write a letter to the bank (and headquarters) telling them what happened and make sure you get the man's name and refer to him often in your letter.
speak for yourself SWEETHEART--sm
but not this person. Just stay away from me...I don't want to get hit by any lightening bolts aimed at you. lol. and please stop trying to shove your atheist beliefs down my throat, too. It is all BS as far as I am concerned.
Excuse, did not speak about yours
you must have been trying to read between the lines and never said anything about your dear one. You imaged.
consider yourself blessed - not many speak same
     
It's your husband who should speak up for you, but
know that the situation may never change to a warm, loving relationship with your in-laws. I'm in something of the same situation, but nowhere near as bad as yours. I haven't really had to have my husband speak up for me, because in my case, I don't really care to socialize with my siblings-in-law. My MIL was always nice about sitting for the kids, but now that my kids are grown, that's not a factor anymore. The last time we all gathered together was at my FIL's funeral last year.

It is harder when you have little children, and your own supportive family is 3000 miles away. But where you need to place your focus is on your husband and yourself. Talk with him about it, calmly. What does he say? Is he willing to keep his relationship with his family to the courtesy sort of functions where ALL of you are invited? If so, HE should tell them why he is keeping his family (you and the children are his family now) from this toxic situation. And if they agree to have you all at their functions but still treat you badly, then it's your husband who should address the situation with his sisters and mother. If you are the person at the front of this, you will never win. Your husband has to realize that you and his children are his first responsibility, and that he should defend that relationship at all cost.
I do not see how any siblings could ever speak to him again
Maybe they have forgiven but I have heard (not from my friend) but other members of the family he is a gambler, womanizer and really not someone you would want to be around. This, though the friend says, had absolutely nothing to do with wanting the name change but parents are not always someone you can look up to and honor. I respected my father until I found out about the molestation, then no more.
What is the "pop" of which you speak?

Not trying to cause trouble, just don't understand what you are saying. 


To the OP - hang in there!  It will work out. 


I would suggest she also speak with
the hospital administration about this issue.  I would think it is a definite violation not to have him in an isolated room, which would be indicated outside the patient's room.  Not only are they being exposed, but the patient may be being exposed to other viruses in an immune-compromised state.
It does speak to his character.........
Others can try to sugar coat it or find excuses, but it does speak to his character and what he deems important. Did your daughter speak up and say anything to him about this or did she just sit idly by? I have had the same situation and it does speak volumes for both.
I guess I can't speak for everyone..
but I did not have that difficult a time stopping. I had tried before, but I could always come up with excuses for myself to keep smoking. For you,it could be different. And, of course, I had the meds. I do hope you will quit, for your health's sake, and I wish you luck. I never meant to sound offensive.
Funny you should speak of this
My now deceased MIL raised some piggies and she named them. I could not go and eat a friend I had named and raised, would be like eating one of my kitties. You know the older I get the more vegetables get to looking better to me just because more appealing to me. Have you ever had any problems like anemia for not having meat in your diet?
Can't speak for Pugmom - but when I see () or J**B
I would much rather read Pugmom's posts than her hater's posts.  The poster above needs to learn how to spell.  No wonder she is so angry.  She is an MT that cannot spell or make a proper sentence. 
Yes, but is that a valid reason for not washing your hands after you
Maybe you were just making a statement and if that's all it was, please excuse the question. Personally, I use the papertowel that I dried with and open the bathroom door when I leave.  I also keep hand sanitizing gel with me at all times. 
For really big plants, I put cotton socks on my hands and just rub
s
Schools' hands are tied in many states....
My daughter teaches third grade. This year, she had a child from Yemen, an Arabic country. His dad, who barely speaks English, bought a convenience store and ran that. His mother speaks NO English. His older brother of two years understands a little more English and can speak it better though. But my daughter's student can't even read the instructions, read English, take a test, nothing. WHat is more frustrating, she is still expected to teach him like the other children (they have no special teachers for ESL students), even though she can't communicate with him. His father is very considerate if he is absent and writes her a note (very badly written at that) but that's all. Now get this....he can't understand anything in class, my daughter is expected to just give him F's or whatever and just keep going, BUT when standardized testing is going on, she is REQUIRED to count his grade in her overall classroom score, which brings the overall score DOWN. Now how dumb is that? This was going on all year but she went in last week, no child, no explanation. She gets a call from the office asking to look in his desk to check for any books he may have left. Come to find out, she was told he and his family had been put on the next plane OUT of the country and back to where they came from. We believe they were here illegally BUT how did they get here, buy a store, and go about their business? Our government allowed their being here....they should be required to explain why that family was here in the first place and why they suddenly disappeared. Our government is so busy trying to cater to everyone, they are screwing the rest of us.
Itchy bumps on palms of hands?
I have these itchy bumps on the palms of my hands, they are only right in the middle.  I thouhgt at first they were like sweat bumps since my office is so hot, but it hasn't been for about a week and they still persist.  Been using hydrocortisone but doesn't help much.  Have cleaned my keyboards, mice, etc really well.  Anyone else ever experience this?
I think the Senate has bigger problems on its hands than
If Florida is so concerned about its workers being on drugs, perhaps it should do a better job of patrolling its own borders, and stemming the massive flow of drugs that comes onshore there every single day.
Speak to the director of financial aid
Ditto the advice on Voc Rehab.

You should be able to get food stamps *if* you qualify for work-study OR work at least 20 hours/week. I would appeal their denial ASAP. Ask for the caseworker's supervisor and say you want to appeal their decision. They should send you a letter with a "hearing" date on it.

Call and ask to speak with the Director of Financial Aid. Be persistent and keep asking for him. If you can't get through go to the Provost office or some higher up at the college. I've done it with a 18 month old in a stroller at my side! :)

One more thing - every single school I have ever attended had some sort of emergency loan for students. It's usually called a short-term loan or something like that. Also see if you can get $ on your ID card for the cafeteria. That can put that on the loan too.

The writing is on the wall, so to speak
You make a difference in the g'parents- your children are picking up on this. I had a similar thing going on with my son- my mother did all the loving, fun things he wanted- my father (they were divorced, each remarried) was strict, no fun to be around, hardworking but I believed in their being able to share and I did. Both are deceased now and I do not regret having him spend as much time with 1 as the other. Oh, BTW, one of my most enjoyable things as a child was when I spent time with my father and his wife- they had a small garden and I absolutely loved to dig up the potatoes- used to beg to get to do it. You should have a good talk with everyone and insist spending time with all- don’t let your feelings play into their hesitancy on going. Grandparents are not always right but she wants to have some time with them. Not all g'parents want to be bothered with kids, believe it or not.
Excuse me, I speak Jive.
I would love to see a clip of that part again!