sounds like the little boy in Christmas Story in his snowsuit.

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For the most part, she blames her actions on stress from her illness. I can (somewhat) see someone stealing to pay bills or to put money aside for savings, but not for a lavish wedding or cruises.

GOFFSTOWN, N.H. -- A woman accused of stealing more than $1 million from her nonprofit employer said she used the money to pay for medical bills, vacations and her daughter's wedding.

"My daughter was getting married; I wanted her to have a nice wedding," said Linda Bevins, who has colon and lung cancer. "I had nothing, it all went to cancer. I thought I was going to die. I wanted to have a good life. I wanted my husband to have peace of mind."

Bevins was fired in June from her job as a payroll supervisor for the Crotched Mountain Foundation, which runs a disabilities rehabilitation center in Greenfield. She, her husband, and daughter now are being sued by the foundation. A criminal investigation is also going on.

Bevins was diagnosed with colon cancer in 1999 and took a job as a payroll specialist with Crotched Mountain in 2001 to help pay her medical bills; she was promoted to supervisor a year later. She told the New Hampshire Sunday News she began taking money in 2004 after doctors told her the cancer had spread to her liver, and the prognosis was not good.

Bevins said she's not certain how much money she took, but doesn't dispute Crotched Mountain's estimate of $1.3 million. She said at least $200,000 went to medical bills for her cancer treatments and another chunk paid for her daughter's wedding, which included a custom-made wedding dress. Bevins said she also took her family on two cruises and used stolen money to make donations to churches and other organizations.

"It bothered me a lot because I was not the type of person to do that," Bevins said of the thefts. "I would get depressed that this was happening and I'd say 'I can't do this anymore.' But then something else would happen and all of a sudden I'm doing it."

An audit commissioned by Crotched Mountain revealed allegations that Bevins issued payroll checks to her daughter, Holly Sears, and herself, and funneled foundation money into personal bank accounts. Bevins said biannual company audits didn't catch her scheme, nor did a co-worker who helped her with the payroll.

Neither her daughter nor husband knew anything about the thefts, though she acknowledged that sometimes she asked Sears, 26, to cash checks for her, Bevins said.

Bevins said she's ashamed of what she's done, but blames at least part of her actions on her former employer.

As the only employee who could handle the payroll, Bevins said she was constantly on call, even while on vacation or sick leave. She said Crotched Mountain workers even called her cell phone while she was in the hospital, and nurses became so fed up by the they asked a doctor to put a stop to it.

"If I didn't have the stress, maybe I wouldn't have gotten sick and wouldn't have had the bills and maybe (the stealing) wouldn't have ever started," she said.

Mom dying, dad with Alzheimer's, so I'm taking care of both, though my dad was still independent in ADLs. I worked at home so I didn't really work and I was supposed to take everyone to the doctor. My sister had 3 days off, the same time as my son's/husband's birthdays. She said she would come help one day, but that needed time for herself. I'm the one with young kids, I'm the one trying to maintain 2 households and work full-time ....... I finally moved in with my parents, gave up any privacy, spent 98% of my waking time when not working taking care of someone or something. I don't regret it and I would do most of it all over again because I'm a caretaker, but if there are 4 other siblings why should I have to carry the burden. After my mom died I fell apart. I had to put my dad in a facility and my sister said she would take over primary caregiver duties, but she was hit or miss. Her kids were grown and out of the house, her DH was always off playing golf. She complained that my dad was only getting 2 showers a week, but she wasn't willing to go give him a shower. She complained about using all her vacation time for doctor's visits - like I didn't have to either take vacation or make up my time. I could go on and on. They told us in grief counseling that in most families there is one that always ends up doing everything.

The only thing I can say is that when your dad is gone you can seek comfort in knowing that you did all you could to help him, that you were there for him when it counted. Your sister will be the only who has to live with the guilt that she wasn't there (and she will suffer, must maybe not right away). At the same time I think your dad is just thinking about what he wants and I completely understand. My mother wanted to die at home in her own bed, not a hospital bed, even if she was still at home she didn't want a hospital bed, but I also think it puts a lot of stress on you and one day he will be gone and you'll have to pick up the pieces and continue on and there may be a day when you can no longer care for him at home.

I was very long-winded, but what I'm trying to say is don't worry about your sister. Focus on your dad and do what you can do and that is all you can do.

I have a sad story to tell. My husband's cousin's x-wife had an accident Friday night and was severely injured. She was coming from a night out and was drinking and wrecked. She was ejected from the vehicle and suffered severe head trauma. She was put on life support and was found to be brain dead. Her parents had to make the decision to pull the plug. The doctor assured them she had no brain activity and could not breath on her own or anything. So they unplugged her yesterday. This young woman was I think if not mistaken 29 years old. She had 3 children ages 8, 4, and 2. They have no mother now. She was so disfigured from the accident that her boyfriend went in ICU to see her and hit the floor as he passed out from the shock of seeing her face. She never dreamed when she left to go out last Friday night that she wouldn't be returning and she was leaving her kids for the last time to soon find they had no mother. I had the pleasure of knowing this woman for her brief time here on Earth. She will be so missed by her children and the rest of her family. The 8 year old boy is taking it by far the worst because he comprehends what death means and that he won't see his mommy anymore on this Earth. The 4-year-old just knows mommy is in heaven but can't comprehend that mommy can't come visit her from heaven. The 2-year-old just doesn't understand at all. She just misses her mommy. Brief story about what the 4-year-old said to her mawmaw yesterday: They were going down the road and she had learned earlier that day her mama was gone to heaven. She was staring out the window at the sky because she was told that was where mommy was. She was just desperately hoping for a glimpse of mom I guess. Then she said mawmaw that's my mom. And she pointed to the sun. It was shining really bright inside the car on them. It was a really sunny day. Her mawmaw says where baby? She said do you see the sun mawmaw? She said yes baby I see it. She said that's my mommy shining down on me. She is watching me mawmaw. This is from a 4-year-old. Now if that don't break your heart what does? Pray for these children who have suffered probably the greatest loss they will know. And please don't drink and drive.

I want to recognize the Christ in Christmas as well as the fun of holiday celebration and cheer through many venues.

I want to be mindful of every human being that has less than I do, for there are many. I am the most blessed person I know:

I want to be thankful that my family is all with me, intact, in communication (hahaha), not estranged, and loving/enjoying being together.

I want to be grateful that I am gainfully employed and have other options if I so choose.

I want to live respectfully toward others because I live in a country that provides protection and security for me and others, God bless and save them, are willing to make the sacrifice to provide it for me.

Most of all, I want every person who feels lost, isolated, alone, left out that you are not alone. Just know that He is mindful of you. I know - not believe, but know - that God knows exactly who I am and where I am going and He will take care of me. I want you to know that, too.

Oh please, don't anyone flame me. I honestly can't take it right now. I am so depressed, I can't believe I'm depressed enough to write here. I am not a depressed person - ever. I don't know if its my age (50) or something else. My job? I don't know, but this Christmas just did me in........Every year I do the same thing - I really like giving things and am just boringly nice - a good old egg type. Laid back. Usually give stuff anonymously, so nobody knows. But at Christmas, I like to give little things. For instance, I will go up and down my street and put cards in mailboxes, signed your neighbor. I know some animal rescuers in my area, and will leave them a card, thanking them for their work, and stick little cat toys on it, if they are cat rescuers, or dog toys if dog rescuers - I just take a simple card and put cute stuff on it. No big deal, really, but something to try and be nice. I have a few elderly shut-in neighbors. I give them cards with little boxed cakes or stuff, potpourri - little things. I send cards to all my church members, my coworkers and yet....not a mention of it from anyone. I also will stick a card unsigned in a house who has really cute Christmas lights up or something, just saying how great their house looked this year, or whatever. My kids and I like picking a different house each year and doing that. But the bummer thing is - nobody cares. Nobody even smiles at me, nobody even acknowledges anything. I don't expect huge praises or calls or people stopping by, or announcements in the local paper, but a smile? I have passed some of these people on the street and they just grunt at me. They USED to be friendly, but now the attitude is just no big deal. I'm not even worthy of a small smile. My husband thinks that these people just take me for granted by now - that they just are not really nice enough to smile back. Or that I make them feel bad by being nice. I really used to enjoy doing this, but now am just so despondent about it. I have decided next year, no cards, no nothing, no reaching out to neighbors - just let them all alone. Is it me? Am I a jerk for giving out little cards and stuff? I am not bothersome. I'm really shy actually, and never impose, other than these Christmas cards, or if I know its their birthday or something. In this day and age, am I just a pain? The rest of the year, again, I give things anonymously, or practical things like dog food donations, etc. I won't stop that, but I just have given up on trying to be personable at Christmas. But I don't understand what I have done wrong... If I were a nosey neighbor type, always intruding or asking for something, I would understand. But I'm the exact opposite - never ask for anything from anyone. Is it just our times? Should I just go stick my head in a hole?

Sad to say, about the only thing we really do for Christmas is I actually cook a traditional Christmas dinner. We haven't decorated the house or given gifts for years. Our son (now 20 years old) prefers money so he can buy what he wants, and my husband and I set an amount based on what our budget can handle and we each buy what we want.

After everything was open and my brothers and I were so excited to be playing, my Mom asked me to get something from the kitchen. Of course it was dark because we'd get up so early. There it was my Barbie Dreamhouse in the kitchen! I loved that Christmas and it got lots of play...

Fav foods are cookies, cookies, and more cookies that my sister-in-law makes. I have an aunt that makes Walnut cookies to die for! Every year she'd bring a tin, but we don't see her much at Christmas now that my parents are gone.

On a lighter note, I love seeing our kids opening their stuff! It brings back great memories!