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Bloopers can be posted on the Comedy board.

Posted By: Administrator nm on 2007-09-01
In Reply to: Admin, can we get a blooper board? - sm


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Okay, Top Ten Reasons Why... posted on comedy board

This one is good.

Post jokes and comedy on Comedy board. (NM)
Comedy board is for LOL!

I put a good one on the Comedy board. It might offend some!
Reminder: Jokes go on Comedy board. (SM)

This has been an issue before.  No exceptions.

Thank you.

I laugh at the comedy board not at a strike.
then get off of the porch.  You call this OP venting?  Cut me a break.  Sounds more like a cry for help.  Why don't you all find a new profession instead of wanting everything handed to you on a silver platter.  I find no humor in compromising patient care because someone wants to have a b***ch fit!!!  
Of course you can, but there is a board for that purpose. Feel free to post on the Comedy Stop.
Please see my question on company board -posted on wrong board
All word questions need to be posted on the Word board. Please use the correct board to post.
All word questions need to be posted on the Word board. Please use the correct board to post.


Are you the one who posted on the Ask the Dr board?

I go to "The Stop Smoking Center" for online support.  I quit for eight years, but this past 13 months have been so crazy that I relapsed exactly one year ago.  I've been peeved at DH and stressed over a lot of stuff, so I lit up one night while out with a friend.  I quit again for three months using Zyban, but relapsed yet again after stopping that.  I do OK during the day with not smoking, but DH smokes outside at home so it's tough to stay quit being around him.  I just keep making excuses to not quit.  That means I'm just not ready yet.  People handle their emotions and stress fine without smoking.  I handled everything fine for eight years without smoking, and those eight years were pretty hairy, too..  For me, it's a question of replacing my bad emotional crutch with a good one.  (Exercise!)

Good for you for making the decision!  You can do it!  Google the support board I told you about, and I'll probably be around here if you want to buddy up or anything.

This is posted on the job board:

...7 cpl for a 65-char. line with room for increase. Please send resume and place "ESL MT" in the subject line. These are very difficult accents...

Is this serious??  THAT is why there is nothing left to this profession.  Applying for and accepting jobs like this is what has been the kiss of death for MTs.  I hate to think what they would pay for non ELSs - 5 cpl?

I have posted this before on another board
My DH cousin jokeingly said to be a Transcriptionist all you have to do is know how to type and spell. I said "okay, spell pterygoid muscle." After a long blank stare he said, "There is no such thing". Like I said he truely was joking but so many people think there is nothing to this job.
Look on the job board, someone just posted a weekend only job - nm
It should be posted on the Company board, please.
On another board here, I posted a news
article which actually identified this New Zealand company as being owned by a HUGE American national....everyone laughed at me and said this was old news - offshoring. But it was sure news to me that it was my company and now in New Zealand. Personally, I'd love to transfer there. Lots of nice sheep and trees.
Silly me, you posted t his on the Gab board too - sm
I got confused!!!!!
sorry...posted on wrong board
Someone posted abbreviations before this board went
bonkers and I had copied it down. When site went down, so did my copy. Does anyone have a good site for abbreviations? Thanks.
I also posted on the political board, but -
I did not refer to Obama or McCain and the political side of it, I am interested more in how it is effecting us in the United States. Everyone else is posting here about their jobs and that is what I am talking about. I don't care about policies right now, I am wondering how every day life is going to change.

And, no, I am not being rude, just explaining myself.
Just posted on the Political Board
a long rant on this - please refer to that. But also see this website.

It's time to take a stand MTs!

If you are the OP, you also posted this on the Company board
As being a position with Keystrokes. I didn't think KS hired ICs?

Color me confused but...?
At the top of the Company Board is posted ....s/m
' Don't make your decisions based on someone else's recommendation - Administration '
One guy posted on message board, saying he was on his laptop in the car.
He said they are doomed if they do not open up the highway going the opposite direction, as you said. And, fuel is an issue, needless to say.

Mandatory evacuation should have been ordered soon, they are saying, as opposed to voluntary.
I believe they are posted on "Job Seeker's Board"
Posted on Coder's board, but cannot get a reply
This is an awesome link... Thanks so much, I posted this on another board (sm)
Was referred to this Tips & Techniques... No clue what it meant... This explains a lot. Thanks so much.
Hi Donna. I posted to you on the autoimmune board

Other people have posted about the ad on the company board--
--but the posts were deleted. I'm not sure what's up with that.
Administrator I posted my name for looking for an MT job on your job resume board and I dont see it
We have not moved this topic to the Company board. Perhaps you posted it
there initially thinking it was the Main board.
Re above message - just posted on technical board. Need help badly.
As always, political posts should be posted on the Politics board.
Posted another quick and good one on recipe board for you.
Posted on the Gab Board about name suggestions for my cookie business if anyone would like to help
I'm not sure how busy the Gab Board is compared to this board, so I thought I'd post here as an fyi. Thanks for any help :)
Sorry to disappoint you but I've never posted on the newbie board!
I agree. And as someone posted on another board here, it's hard to care about it when the dictat
Being these are pretty darn important documents, it's equally as important for us to get it right as it is for them to slow down so we can truly actually hear what they're trying to say. It's a joint effort that often falls short on their end for whatever reason.
On job board. Some goof posted 11:50 hour for 2 years experience

To the service who posted a job ad on the Main board, the reason your post
was removed is because all job ads are to be posted on the Job Seeker's board. Any "well-deserving MT" knows to look at that forum for that "chance to work for an excellent company and make an excellent line rate". Feel free to post your ad there.

Thank you.
MT Week prizes are posted on the Main board. Watch for them and then
follow the directions to enter. If you see a post that has a winner announced beneath it, that prize is no longer available.
This was posted earlier today on the Gab Board and now I am reading this statement from this Pakista
Posted By: Sheri Steadman Administrator (see details inside) On: 2008-02-27


The mtstars.com domain name has been hijacked, so this website will probably go down and then come back up with old information (not current posts). We are setting up at mtstars.net and taking legal action to regain the mtstars.com domain. Please do not post at this site further as the domain has been taken over by an offshore entity.

Thank you for your loyalty over the years, but know that we are not gone. We plan to have mtstars.net up and running very soon ...

Hey I have come across bloopers in my life, but these are even queer ones. How can it be possible. Here is a sample.

The patient was given a flu shout.

The patient has an episode of chest paint.

The patient has been having a history of DVD in her thighs.

The patient is allergic to Morphine and her relatives.
    Yeah I have made some of those in my days just starting out - the best was Will recheck lover in one week.  - Should have been liver - but could have been lover if you had read the rest of the report!!! 
ASR Bloopers
Here's my favorite ASR mistake:

"Patient is a 73 year-old female who fell when she stepped outside to pick up a male".

I hope that I can step outside and pick up a guy when I'm 73!

(It should have been...pick up her mail)
bloopers "decreased"
I had a friend who figured out a way to keep people from being decreased instead of deceased. She typed ded. I still use it, and it works perfeclty for me. decd is decreased, ded is - well, dead.
bloopers (forgive if they are redundant)


Actual writings from hospital charts:

1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

medical transcription bloopers

    118 Medical Transcription Bloopers.

  1. The patient comes in for a lesion on the penis which has been present on and off for 2 years and seems to be getting smaller.
  2. Patient comes in complaining of hoarseness. The patient apparently lives with his wife and does a fair amount of talking.
  3. The left side of his cranium is missing.
  4. He does have well-known hemorrhoids.
  5. Reflexes in the upper extremities are normal and symmetrical. Lower extremities show an absent right ankle compared to the left.
  6. I also gave her a back book to start doing exercises in.
  7. He does have a fairly high stress job and appears in the clinic with his lap-top computer today.
  8. The patient wishes to establish with a neurologist with the diagnosis of Parkinson's disease.
  9. She is on SEPTRA right now for a sinus infection which she was given over the phone.
  10. She has not been taking the medications that were prescribed. She notes that smoking marijuana currently helps most of her symptoms.
  11. The patient reports that since she had a colonoscopy, she has noticed some problems with her short term memory.
  12. 28 year old male comes in requesting a work release for his foot.
  13. She reports some hearing loss, with difficulty hearing her husband.
  14. She has a long history of asthma; usually she has found that this is exacerbated by being around moles.
  15. During our exam, this man was shaking: basically he was shaking his right leg when I was watching, and he was not shaking his right leg when I was not watching. According to the EMT who brought him back in to the room, when he went outside to get the man he looked completely normal, walked in unaided with no problem, sat down in the room and began shaking and having what he calls "spasms and seizure-like activity." He has good deep tendon reflexes on the left side, which he did not shake until at the end of the exam: I think he may have forgotten which side was supposed to shake and which side wasn't.
  16. Her next complaint is abdominal pain that she notices only when the wind blows on her abdomen.
  17. He describes the ear pain as being in the ear.
  19. This is her first period since vaginal delivery of a three month old baby.
  20. The patient fell while rollerblading on his left hand.
  21. Fracture to the proximal phalanx of the right fourth toe on the right fifth foot.
  22. Multiple strains and sprains secondary to motor vehicle accident of the neck, shoulders and low back.
  23. The patient cannot touch her shoulder blade with her right shoulder.
  24. The patient was taken to the microscopic room.
  25. The pain starts right after he eats meals located around his belly-button.
  26. The patient presents for follow-up of thoracic back strain, which occurred 03/16/96 while twisting in the dishroom.
  27. Patient comes in to Urgent Care feeling concerned because at work he feels slightly confused and disoriented. At work he usually carries on 3-4 conversations at a time, and now he only is able to carry on one conversation at a time.
  28. Admits to being hypochondriacal about things recently and in fact she has had to stop watching the TV show "E.R." because she gets every symptom that she sees.
  29. Her husband had received the "husband of the year" award two years ago, but has since moved out and is living with a church secretary.
  30. The patient was standing in the kitchen, leaning against the sink, waiting for coffee to perk (drip) and a throw rug slipped out from under him and his foot hit the wall.
  31. ...has a cousin who developed curly hair after having a child.
  32. They will be following up with Dr. Knackstedt in July of this year just to check on his ears.
  33. 15 year old boy was accidentally hit with 5 BB gun shots while he was jumping on a trampoline.
  34. (Re a 5-year-old Urgent Care patient:) Active young man who is very conversant with respect to dinosaurs.
  35. The patient has a brother and sister who are normal.
  36. She will now be living with father and strep-mother...
  37. Mother comes in for consultation re beast-feeding her infant.
  38. She has actually not felt well since her daughter was born three years ago.
  39. About 8 a.m. this morning was the last time she had an inhalation.
  40. She reports that, since the auto accident, the pain in her low back is much improved.
  41. She has had two flares of the previous sinus tract I identified. She states it is related to having sexual intercourse, and since stopping that she has had no further problems.
  42. She fell and hit her left forearm against a rock which remains painful and swollen today.
  43. He sustained injuries to his forehead and face when he fell from his glasses.
  44. I recommended to mother that she get an over-the-counter ear removal preparation.
  45. 48-year-old male with left index finger laceration which occurred 45 minutes before he presented to the Urgent Care department on a piece of glass.
  46. She gets headaches with her migraines.
  47. I recommended MIACALCIN, 1 puff in each nose on a daily basis.
  48. ...and has two cousins identical to her father...
  49. He also has external hemorrhoids, which he says he likes to keep to himself.
  50. ...he is seen today with his daughter Judy; but I guess not with his boy Elroy.
  51. Healthy-appearing child with upset mom.
  52. She also complains of pain in her right ankle. She says she is not sexually active.
  53. The patient complains of low back pain. She is able to move all of her legs.
  54. The patient reports a fatal reaction to IODINE in the past.
  55. The patient wonders if she can fly as far as her ears.
  56. She was also given an in-the-ear hearing aid whose patient was a husband of ours.
  57. She was the diver of a car going approximately 25 MPH...
  58. The patient was given Dr. Davis' car and instructions were given to him to follow up with Dr. Davis within the next week.
  59. FAMILY HISTORY: Significant for a half-brother of unknown origin. Past medical history is significant for a basal cell carcinoma on her head which was removed recently.
  60. After a suicide attempt, the patient was given a choice of admission to the Johnson Unit or vacation with her sister.
  61. He has been monitoring his blood pressure. Does not drink. Does not use much soap.
  62. She will lie down, feel a bit better, cook her husband's breast, then her own breakfast, eat, still feel tired and no energy until after lunch.
  63. She is 15 years old. Chronic runny nose for 20 years.
  64. Stepped on a TETANUS SHOT.
  65. He has some concern about chewing on vacuum tubes when he was an electronic repairman as a child.
  66. Eat before the meal.
  67. He did develop perianal skin irritation with some skin rash extending out onto his bucket.
  68. She has had 3 pregnancies, 1 liver birth and 2 spontaneous abortions.
  69. I plan to see her in two weeks and reassess her injured parts.
  70. She apparently has had a cold for several weeks, but just started to turn green the last couple of days.
  71. Husband is somewhat negative and difficult to live with. She is not interested in a trial of medication for this.
  72. She did suffer loss of consciousness and was told by a chest x-ray that she had a lung contusion.
  73. The patient has not been using METROGEL because it was too drying and her face peeled off in chunks.
  74. She has had surgery when her husband was in the Navy for hemorrhoids during a pregnancy.
  75. She does admit to bruxism with what few teeth she has.
  76. She smokes one glass of alcohol per week.
  77. . . . concentrated on chest, abdomen and all four lower extremities.
  78. He was evaluated in the Emergency Room where he broke some ribs.
  79. The patient has complaints of problems maintaining an erection for over a year.
  80. Despite both standing and lying down, I was unable to demonstrate a hernia.
  81. The patient had a trial of PROZAC on which he became violet.
  82. Examination of the remaining hand is within normal limits.
  83. The wound is doing fine, without complaints.
  84. She is not clear on why she has seen me in the past, but states that whatever I treated her for had cleared up with whatever treatment I had given her.
  85. Exam demonstrates a chile who is modestly febrile.
  86. Basically what happened is she hit her right knee against her chin, biting her tongue causing her neck to be thrust to the left. Now she has pain in her left arm.
  87. He is employed as electrician but does not really remember any specific incidence which could have precipitated his hemorrhoidal problems.
  88. The patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
  89. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
  90. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
  91. The patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
  92. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
  93. The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaint.
  94. Because of her complaints we gave her an endoscopy so she could look into the problems she is having.
  95. The patient complains of post-coital spitting.
  96. She now wears a 42, cup size 8 bra. She may ultimately be a candidate for reduction.
  97. She was the belted driver in the back seat.
  98. He does want the TV louder than his wife.
  99. The patient was found to have an extremely small facial nerve for the size of his body.
  100. This is a 48-year-old white female black lady.
  101. 19-year-old vehicle involved in a female accident.
  102. When not inebriated, we have always found David to be a delightful and cooperative person.
  103. Elderly male, seeking physician with hearing deficit.
  104. Otherwise, I have recommended rechecking in a few weeks just to make sure that the ear is completely gone.
  105. She has breast-fed the baby with frequent loose stools.
  106. She was the driver of a car that was seatbelted and turning left . . .
  107. She did have a female sister who committed suicide.
  108. Apparently the next day she developed this rash on her hands, and the feet had gone away.
  109. Would like for mom to contact me in about a week to seven days if it is not a lot better.
  110. "It should be noted that from now on ________ will be weighed with gown and panties only.
  111. At work yesterday, she was lifting a 5-gallon bucket of pain.
  112. Last time he ate was about 8 hours ago when he had a bowel of cereal.
  113. She was seen at Sacred Heart emergency room last night for an episode of profound weakness and lightheartedness.
  114. She is under some increasing stress in her household due to the presence of three teenagers.
  115. His appetite, as far as his parents are concerned, is probably normal in terms of volume, but he is the worst eater of the mother's children.
  116. A 78 year old woman told her PCP "I just KNOW I have BEGONIA".
  117. This man says that he thinks he has a sinus infection. Recently, he laughed with his mouth full of lasagna and got some of it up his nose.
  118. This man was seen by me a month and a half ago and got over it.
    Forwarded from Frieda Norris.

You talk about medical bloopers at a party
The Comedy Stop !!
There's some funny stuff over there.  It's good to have a comedic break now and then.      
standup comedy....My magnet says...sm
I have a magnet on my fridge that says:  If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.  *LOL*
LOL. And some kind of comedy competition soon too!!! nm.